Discords Day Out

Once Screwball had set herself up in her usual disguise, a rather small, dark blue coated pegasus with amber eyes, a cutie-mark with a ruler with a red mark at the two inches mark, and a mane with a lighter hew of blue than the coat with black streaks braided into a ponytail, pun very much intended, they set out to the nearest town, Ponyville.

It was a short flight, and on the way Discord, alias name Ironhoof, gave a few ideas for discord in the town. Screwball, alias name Shortstop, didn’t have as much power as Discord usually did, so their options were very limited.

Discord suggested something big, like a fire, or a building being turned upside down. He wanted to cause as much damage as possible in the hours he had left. Screw wanted something more subtle, maybe some minor pranks on ponies that would evoke more giggles from them than maniacal laughter.

They debated over the points briefly, and decided to try and fit both into his schedule. The minor pranks first, and then the real damage. The order was rather obvious, as it would be much harder to prank ponies that were already in fear, despair, and desperation. They would probably be focusing on the bigger stuff.

Landing down in the market area of Ponyville, Discord surveyed his surroundings. Applejack, the Element of Honesty, was selling apples with what could only be her younger sister. There was a stand with cherries and a pink earth pony mare with a yellow mane selling them, a carrot stand with another earth pony mare with a yellow coat and an orange mane he recognized as Carrottop, and a pale yellowy-tan earth pony stallion with a baby-blue mane selling grapes out of a cart.

“A good place to start?” he questioned under his breath.

“As good as any” she replied.

She looked at the grapes, and slowly, one by one, with a little pop and flash for effect, they began to quickly turn into raisings, accelerating their pace of transformation until they were all shriveled. The stallion looked horrified; he reared up on his hind legs and screamed, “My grapes! What happened?!”

All the other ponies in the square also looked puzzled, though their reactions were much more temperate.

Applejack came over and took a closer inspection of the shape-shifting delectable’s. “Sugarcube, ah think ya’ need tuh’ just calm down, and change the writin’on yer’ sign. Think of it this way. Raisins are worth more than grapes, so this is a good thing aint it?”

The pony gulped, took another glance at the raisins, and sighed. “Yes, I suppose so, thank you Miss. Probably just some prankster unicorn anyway.”

Applejack just gave a nod and trotted back to her stand while the grape seller got out a paintbrush and “fixed” his sign.

“Oh darn,” Shortstop/Screwball sighed. “I had hoped it would cause a bigger panic. And I didn’t realize raisins were worth more than grapes. I don’t like raisins so I assumed that would mean they are worth less.”

“Oh don’t worry darling, the look on his face before taking advantage of it was still priceless!” Discord stated.

“I think we should direct something at that ‘voice of reason’, Applejack, next. And something bigger too.”

Upon agreeing with her they looked for a good prank to direct at the farm-pony. They stood and watched for a few minutes, until a big red stallion with an apple half came up and took control of the stall from the element bearer.

Applejack tipped her hat and began trotting down the street away from the marketplace. They quickly followed.

They had followed her for about half an hour before they saw their chance. As she got to her barn, Discord stopped and began whispering in Screwballs ear.

Applejack was almost home. She had had a long day at the stall selling apples, but there hadn’t exactly been a throng of ponies trying to buy her fruits. She had made about fifteen bits overall. Not nearly enough. They needed all the money they could get to repaint the barn. Granny was even trying to talk her into getting a cheaper paint that wasn’t the right color. At first the stubborn mare wouldn’t hear of it, but she was quickly becoming less averse to the idea. They had looked at various shades of green, blue, and even- ugh- pink.

She sighed as she neared the shabby and faded looking barn, except, it wasn’t shabby looking. It was painted with a vibrant rainbow! It wrapped all the way around the barn in waves. And the corner pillars were bright pink! The same pink as Pinkie’s mane. The roof was a purple that looked like Raritie’s mane. She was about to throw a fit, but then she remembered the problem she had been pondering on her way there.

Discord and Screwball watched in silence from their concealed position in the trees. They had hoped for her to get mad and blame Rainbowdash for the vandalism. Unfortunately, Applejack blamed Rainbowdash, but she didn’t consider it to be vandalism. She was hooting and hollering in joy for Granny Smith, whoever that was, to come out and see what had happened. When the elderly mare came out and saw the state of the barn she and her granddaughter began dancing together right in front of it.

“We can’t seem to do anything right. Ugh.” Screwball scowled at the pair of earth ponies. Her disguise shimmered for a second and went back to her original coloring.

“Maybe we need to do something on a higher level, how about we make it collapse?”

“I… Guess that could work.”

“Oh granny, this is fantastic!.” The newly arrived Applebloom exclaimed with glee. “The CMC was plannin on doin this, but not anything as fancy! Who do ya reckon done it for us?”

“Ah dunno, but whoever it is….” CREAK!!!

The barn promptly fell over to one side, collapsing under its own weight and crushing all their possessions inside. For a moment, all they could do was gawk.

“Ah was in dere just a moment ago…” Granny Smith said with disbelief.

“Wha… What happened?”

It was then, that they heard the laughing and giggling.

“That was so funny!”

“Oh I know, I know.”

“We should’ve done that to begin with!”

“Well, darling, I don’t usually kill, if we had done that first it would have killed her grandmother inside.”

“But it’s no fun only going partway.”

“I’m afraid I must disagree, I cause misery and mayhem, but it is wrong to kill either way.”

“Ah don’t know who you two are, and ahm glad you can show restraint, but yer still goin to pay for this,” said a third voice.

Startled, the two pseudo-pegasi looked up the short hill to see a looming orange figure above them, and from her face they could tell she wasn’t happy.

“Teleport!” Yelled discod.

In a flash of light, they were suddenly all the way on the other side of the farm. They had forgotten to stay quiet after the prank, and it would cost them dearly.

“IT TOOK ME DAYS TO CREATE THIS DISGUISE!!!” Yelled Shortstop. “I CAN’T MAKE ANOTHER RIGHT NOW! WE CAN’T EVEN KEEP PRANKING NOW BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR US.”

“Well I didn’t do all the laughing myself,” grumbled discord.

Screwball/Shortstop was fuming after the incident. They had rushed out of town as fast as they could and got back to their little cave, where they began arguing over the blame. Discord believed the blame was equal, since they both laughed, but Screwball blamed the former since it was his idea to destroy the barn.

They continued in their debate for a time until they finally decided to agree to disagree, and move forwards toward the big stuff.

“Do you know that spell I use for cotton candy clouds and chocolate milk rain?”

Twilightsparkle was having a lovely day. She had finished re-re-re-re-reorganizing her library, switching from alphabetical order of the title, to the date of publication, to first letter of the authors first name, to first letter of the authors last name, to first letter of the authors middle name. Spike was exhausted from all the running around, and Twighlight was settling down to do some studying on the history of the Crystal Empire. She had to place a special order from the library of the said kingdom since almost all records of it had been wiped from Equestria in the previous thousand years.

“Lets see… should I start with founding of The empire, or with traditions and culture of The Empire?”

“I don’t know Twilight, just try not to keep me awake, why is it that I always have to sleep when it’s convenient for you but never when it’s convenient for me?”

“Hmm… that’s a good question, ill have to do a research report on the psychology and patterns I’ve shown while raising you wont I?”

“Groan.”

It was then that she heard the light tap of rain on the tree house.

“That’s odd, the pegasi were supposed to be scheduling the rainstorm for tomorrow, not today… GASP!!!”

The rain running down the side of the window wasn’t water, it was chocolate milk! An anomaly she had only ever seen once before.

“Spike!! Get a pen and paper, quick!”

“Wha?”

“Chocolate milk rain, chocolate milk rain!”

With that spike was up immediately grabbing a pen and paper off the desk and standing at attention.

Dear princess celestia,

It is with great dread that I inform you that Ponyville is currently experiencing a weather anomaly that I have ever only heard of or seen during Discord’s brief rain over Equestria, chocolate milk rain. It is imperative that you bring The Elements of Harmony immediately to Ponyville so we may deal with the threat before he can steal said elements again and take control while we are defenseless.

“Okay send.”

The letter went away with a green cloud.

They waited several minutes, during this time Twilight nervously tapped her hoof on the floor. She jumped when the Princess’s reply came.

Dear Twilight

While this is a major sign of Discords return, I am afraid there must be another explanation. Discord is still in the gardens. Please investigate further, you are right, this is an anomaly only heard of during Discord’s reign. The only lead I can offer is that discord has a daughter, Screwball, she is a pink and purple earth pony with swirls for eyes and imbued with special powers that go further than even the most skilled of unicorns. I believe this may be the explanation but I cannot be sure. I am sending you the elements via carriage.

“Discord had a daughter?” Spike questioned.

“I’d never heard about it before either. Although the description she gave is identical to a pony I saw going around in Ponyville pulling pranks during the time I was… grey.”

“So we just have to find her and make her stop.”

“She probably knows to avoid us, and if she’s more powerful than any unicorn she could easily make a disguise.” She moaned.

“TWILIGHT!”

“Yes Applejack, don’t worry I already sent Princess Celestia  a letter about the chocolate rain, it isn’t Discord, he’s still in the Canterlot gardens, but the Princess believes it could be his daughter, Screwball. The elements are on their way already.”

“Well that’s good an all, but before the rain started a bunch of funny things happened around town I think may be related to it. Earlier in the market the grapes at the grape cart all turned into raisins, and mah barn randomly got painted in a rainbow, and then it collapsed. There were these two pegasi in the trees who were laughin bout it as though it were funny, and they teleported away when I saw em.”

“So that must mean she IS using a disguise, but who’s the other pegasus?” Spike exclaimed rather obviously.

“I don’t know Spike, lets mail the Princess again, describe both for us Applejack.”

Dear Princess Celestia

Applejack saw a pair of pegasi on her farm causing mischief briefly before the rain began. One was a dark blue mare, with a black and blue mane. The other was a bright yellow stallion with a green and pink mane, he was wearing a suit and sunglasses. Do either of these sound familiar?

A couple minutes later:

Dear Twilightsparkle ,

The former of the two does not sound familiar, and could be a minion of Screwball, or her in disguise. The latter sounds like one of my guards, who did not show up today for duty, except, he absolutely detested formal attire and would rather (and I am quoting here) “burn in the fires of Tartarus before he put on clothes.”

Spike giggled to himself at the last part. “I didn’t know the Princess knew her guards so well.”

“He could just be one that has come to her attention due to statements like that.”

Just then the door slammed open and Rainbowdash came charging in.

“Twili…”

“Yes Rainbow, chocolate rain, cotton candy clouds, already mailed princess, elements on the way, not Discord, likely his daughter.”

“Oh… you’re faster than I thought.”