Chapters Love Blooms
Chapter One: Love Blooms
"Well, now we know he definitely has your appetite."
The mismatched being of animal parts grinned as a velvet pillow flew into his face. A few loose feathers drifted out, sticking onto the Draconequus's fur. He chuckled as he floated next to the elegant mare laying in the bed. Her coat was white, as were the feathers of her wings, save for her flanks which were adorn with a bright yellow emblem of a sun on both sides. A single spiraling horn sprung from her forehead and out from beneath her aurora-like mane. The horn glowed gold, as did the edges of the cushion that served as her weapon.
A large plate sat in front of her, dotted with cake crumbs and spots of icing. The mare scowled as she lifted the plate with her magic and licked away the remains.
"Very princess-like," the Draconquus sneered, resting his chin in his paw. He grabbed hold of a discarded fork with his other hand, twirling it around in his bird-like talons. He threw the silverware into his mouth and swallowed with a dramatized gulp.
"How are you in any position to judge?" the Alicorn asked, setting her plate to the side and shifting over. The bulge of her belly was now much more obvious. "Twilight still refuses to dine with us after that last incident."
There was a chuckle. "Funny, I always thought she was the forgiving type. Still a stick-in-the-mud after all these years. Don't worry, Junior," he whispered to the mare's stomach. "I'll make sure Auntie Pinkie and Auntie Flutters are the ones who babysit."
"What makes you so certain it's a boy?"
"Celestia, Celestia, Celestia, please. You of all ponies should know better than to question my hunches. Have I ever been wrong before?"
"How many bits did you lose again this year to Shining Armor?"
"That depends," the Draconequus said, stroking the tuff of white fur hanging from his chin. "How many hoofball games were there this season?"
The pony giggled. "I'm still surprised you didn't cheat."
"You wound me, Celestia. I always play fair, in a twisted sense of fairness."
Princess Celestia sighed, stretching her slender legs outward. "We still need to come up with a name, you know."
"Oh, I know! What about-"
"We are not calling our child 'Discord Jr.'"
"Okay, how's-"
"No 'Discord the Second' either. Or any variation of that."
"Humph, so much for that," Discord the First grumbled, crumbling up a long list and tossing it out the window. "What about Diddy then?"
Celestia tapped her chin. "Hmm, what do you think of Aurora?" The princess sighed as her husband's face twisted into a horrified gag. "Yeah I didn't think you'd like it."
"What kind of sick monster are you, giving our son a girl's name?"
"If you're so sure we're having a son then...I like Solaris, that's a nice name."
"Nah, I like Diddy. What do you think, Junior?" Discord leaned forward, placing an ear on the princess's belly. "You like Diddy, don't you boy?"
There was no reaction. Celestia grinned triumphantly.
"Hey, that doesn't mean he likes..." Discord pretended to gagged. "Solaris."
The Draconequus jerked back just as his wife gasped. "Did you feel that?" she asked.
"Yeah, our son's got quite the kick. Not much sense of taste though. Oh well." He patted the bulge. "That'll come with age. I'm still going to call him Diddy, you know." His paw drifted lower...
"Discord!"
"Oh come on. It's been ages. I'm bored and you've been stressed. I told you to take a break from all that delegating and princess-ing and stuff but you never do listen. I'm sure you could blow off some steam right now." Both of his hands rubbed gently against the princess's shoulder and near the wings. "Do you some good."
"Oh, that's...wonderful," purred Celestia's.
"I know I am," Discord chuckled, dipping his head and running his tongue against her soft neck. Celestia moaned, shivering in pleasure. His tongue traveled upward, venturing into the mare's welcoming mouth. The two locked lips.
All too soon Discord broke the kiss, leaving a rather disappointed Celestia staring up at him in confusion.
The Draconequus smirked. "What, you want me to continue?" Almost instantly his smug smile disappeared as his wife responded with a matching grin.
"Say it first."
"W-was that a yes or a no?"
Now it was Celestia's turn to laugh. "I think we both know the answer," she said, drawing circles in Discord's chest with her hoof. "But first you have to say it. Go on."
Discord groaned. Something was muttered reluctantly under his breath.
"A little louder please."
"I...you."
"What was that?"
"Do I really have to every night?" Discord protested. "Seriously, you have the weirdest fetish ever, and that's coming from a guy as open-minded as me."
"What can I say?" said Celestia, tickling the Draconquus's chin with her flowing mane. Her lustful smile sent another audible gulp down Discord's throat. "I love it when you're honest. But if you'd rather not..." The Alicorn turned away with a sigh, laying her head against an undamaged pillow and closing her eyes. "I do have another busy day tomorrow, after all..."
Her smile returned as she felt the Draconequus leaned over and whispered into her ear:
"I...love you."
"Show me."
She leaned forward. His lips met hers.
Love Grows
Chapter 2: Love Grows
"Quite the day, hasn't it Sister?"
Celestia nodded wearily, her head low. "I'm just glad it's almost over." She smiled at the dark blue Alicorn next to her. "Do you have any plans for tonight, Luna?"
"I afraid I do," Princess Luna answered. Like her sister, her wings were colored the same as her coat and a large horn stuck out of her head. Like Celestia, her mane seemed to wave about, though Luna's had an extra feature of shimmering like a starry sky at night. Her flanks were decorated with white crescent moon on top of a darker patch of fur. Though slightly shorter than Celestia, she carried herself with just as much elegance and authority. "I was requested to make an appearance for the opening of a new night establishment bearing my name."
"Another one?"
"Indeed," the younger mare laughed. "I still find it rather peculiar that so many ponies would prefer to dance at night instead of the day. I can find nary a dancehall that operates during traditional hours in this era."
"Traditions change over time. But some things remain consistent." Celestia smiled. "No matter the year, our little ponies love to dance."
"Perhaps. I will miss the fox trot however. It was the only step I could preform without collapsing. A pity it is no longer of the norm."
"You should ask Twilight for some tips. I'm sure Princess Sparkle would be more than happy to show you how it's done."
The two shared a laugh. "How is she doing?" Luna asked. "I am most ashamed to say that I have not found the time to read her latest report. She is returning from her diplomatic trip to the Griffon's summit, correct?"
"Came back this morning actually. I thought of waking you but you've been so busy as of late-"
"No more than you have, dear Sister," the Princess of the Night interjected.
"Yes, but we both know how difficult it is to wake you up after a long night." She grinned as Luna grumbled in defeat. "She didn't stay for long, just to say hello, have some tea, and off she went to Ponyville. She sends her regards, of course, and looks forward to seeing us at the Grand Galloping Gala tomorrow evening."
"I do not understand how she can say that so honestly. The Gala is always terrible."
"Yes, well, friends do have a way of making even the worst of times something wonderful. And I assure you, Discord will be on his best behavior this year."
"I doubt it would make a difference," Luna said, rolling her eyes.
"If it'll keep the upper crusts off our backs for a few moments, that'll be enough. Can you believe a few tried to petition against allowing Spike into the castle? Never mind him being a national hero or anything. No, you just simply can't housebreak a dragon." The princess slapped her hoof on her forehead, as if swooning.
Luna giggled at Celestia's not-so-exaggerated imitation of the Canterlot nobles. "And how is our dragon? I do hope Twilight is not working him too hard."
"Spike is fine. He's grown a little taller since the last time you two met. Wings are much larger as well." Celestia sighed. "Oh, he's just like Twilight, growing up so fast." She turned to her sister and smirked. "And so handsome too. Don't worry, he'll be at the Gala, in case you were interested."
Luna smirked back. "And what makes you think I would ever be interested?" she wondered aloud innocently. Her face was anything but innocent.
"Just a hunch I suppose. Found a few letters in your waste basket." Celestia's smile grew as her sister's cocky appearance collapsed. "I didn't know you were such a poet. 'You are the flame that brightens my night, the light for my stars' ..."
"T-those could be for anyone."
"'Your scales against my chest, pierce me with your true Spike' . I had considered showing them to Twilight until I reached that line." The princess chuckled, draping a wing over her sister who was quickly turning red. "Just be careful. I hear Rarity is quite possessive, fights dirty too."
"As do I," the Alicorn joked, her face returning to its natural color and embarrassment banished. She moved forward and gave Celestia a nuzzle on the cheek. "Do try to do something other work tonight. I do believe Discord's getting a little restless. Perhaps he could use some of your attention...your affection..."
Luna grinned victorious as a blush now painted Celestia's face pink. With a final wink, she took to the air. Two leather-winged guards wearing her insignia appeared seemingly out of nowhere and followed closely behind. Celestia watched as her sister and her escort grow smaller and smaller.
"I don't think I'll ever say this again but I have a pretty smart sis-in-law."
Celestia nearly jumped out of her golden slippers. She glared at the grinning Draconequus that stood behind her.
"What do you say? How 'bout you ditch that old paperwork and spend a little quality time with moi and the bed?"
"What's in the bucket?" Celestia asked, ignoring Discord's proposition.
"Paint."
"Why?"
"Diddy and Daddy are playing hide and seek. Winner gets to paint the loser green." He shrugged. "I had a hard time convincing him to stop losing deliberately. Can't blame the kid, what with a coat like that."
"What's wrong with white?" Celestia demanded. Her eyes narrowed.
"O-oh, nothing, absolutely nothing. It's that...you look so sexy in white and when I see Diddy I get a little confused and-"
"Please stop right there."
"Let's just ignore everything I said after I called you sexy. You sexy, sexy mare..." Discord tilted his head forward.
"Not in the open," the Alicorn scolded, pushing the Draconequus back.
Discord crossed his arms. "Hmph, figures I'd end up married to a prude."
"A prude am I? Then perhaps I should simply get back to work. There so much that still needs to be done for the Gala after all..."
"And by prude, I meant prune, or as in the wonderful magical fruit juice that really isn't as wrinkly or old as one would expect but-"
"Stop while you're ahead," Celestia interrupted with a kiss. "I was thinking...tonight, in the sculpture garden..."
"Yes?"
"No sheets, just the two of us, right there in the moonlight."
"In front of your sister's moon?"
"Umm hmm."
"With all the statues watching?
"Yep."
"Right in the place I was sealed in stone?"
Celestia's smirk grew. "I knew you'd like this idea."
"You bet your hot flanks I do! Like it? I love it!" Discord grinned hungrily. "So, can we go now or-"
The door behind them swung open. "Dad, I'm bored. Can I give up yet?"
Behind them stood a young Alicorn colt. Like his mother, he was white with matching wings, though his were far too small for any real use. His mane however acted more like hair, laying limply on his head without any desire to wave or shimmer. It was brown, at least three shades lighter than his father's own fur. His tail on the other hoof was dark red, branching off at the end so that it appeared a bit like a claw. It certainly acted as one, as demonstrated by the way he held his little bucket. His eyes were another gift from his father, yellow and filled with mischief and a touch of possible insanity.
"Of course, should I really be surprised?" Discord mumbled as he and Celestia quickly separated. "Hey, why's your bucket empty?"
The colt shrugged. "I got bored, decided to decorate the hall a bit. Aunt Fluttershy is coming to the party tomorrow, right? She likes flowers, right? I hope she doesn't mind green ones 'cause I kinda ran out of pink."
Celestia bit back a groan as she kneaded her forehead. "Which hall?"
"Um, all of them, I think."
A sudden scream echoed throughout the castle, probably the discoverer of the young colt's art project. As Discord nodded in approval, the Sun Princess pressed her hoof deeper into her face. "Of course something had to happen the night before the Gala."
"And I didn't have anything to do with it this time!" Discord placed his paw on his son's head and ruffled the mane. "Atta'boy, Diddy," he said proudly as the child tried to escape.
"Come now, Solaris," Celestia said, peeling her husband off the young colt. "It's time for a bath. A real bath," she added, giving Discord a quick look. The Draconequus answered with innocent whistling.
"Mom..."
"You've got paint all over your face. First, a bath, then we can discuss the Gala during supper."
"But Dad said he'd paint me green," the boy whined.
"Well, I did promise him, and the last thing we want is for him to grow up with trust issues. I really don't trust those psycho-analysts that you pay by the hour."
Celestia's eyes grew narrower. "Discord, you paint him and I'll personally see you banished to the royal couch."
The Draconequus sighed. "Sorry Junior, looks like my hands are tied." He lifted his hands which were tightly wrapped in ribbon. Neither Celestia or Solaris appeared amused.
"I don't get it. What's wrong with the couch?" the boy asked. "It's real comfortable and you can make a fort and everything."
"True, but your mother is far more comfortable."
"DISCORD!"
With a laugh and a snap of his talons, the Draconequus disappeared. "See you at dinner!" his voice echoed.
"Um, Mommy, what did Dad mean when he said you were comfortable?"
"Bath time."
"But-"
"Bath time!" Celestia nearly shrieked as blood rose to her face. Her horn glowed brightly as she began to drag the reluctant boy off to be cleaned.
"Does it have anything to do with whatever your planning in the garden? Dad seem excited so must be fun. Can I come too?"
Discord chuckled as Princess Celestia's anguished cries reached his ears. "That's my boy."
*****
"Discord, please stop playing with Solaris's food. Solaris, please don't encourage your father."
The lettuce stopped dancing. The tomatoes stopped racing. The potatoes stopped sculpting. The peas continued to roll because, well, they were peas and Discord really had no control over that.
"Thank you," Celestia said, taking a sip of chilled lemon tea. "Now, about the Gala tomorrow..."
"Is it really as bad as Aunt Pinkie says it is?" asked Solaris with a mouthful of chocolate covered alfalfa.
"...yes."
"Then I don't wanna go. Why can't I just stay home and play with one of the aunties?"
"Our home hosts the Grand Galloping Gala, remember? Also, this year all of your aunties will be at the Gala and won't be able to babysit." Celestia explained. "Additionally, as a prince, you'll be expected to make public appearances that these types of events." Her voice soften. "I can't keep using the excuse that you're too young anymore. The nobles demand that we follow tradition and for you to take part in the Gala this year."
"It's not that bad," Discord tried reassuring, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Once you get past the dull atmosphere, boring reception, tasteless entrees, dry speeches, endless groveling, boring music, security checks, the occasional Changeling assassin, the occasionally occasional Changeling not-assassin that's just misunderstood, uninteresting conversation topics, uninspired decorations..."
"All you need to do is sit next to your father and I and wave every now and then."
"That doesn't sound too hard."
"You have to sit still," added Discord. "For an hour at least."
"...oh."
"It won't be that long," Celestia quickly explained. "Like I said, you just need to make an appearance, then you can just spend time with your friends. You wanted to show Fluttershy the jelly bean sprout you're growing, right? There'll be plenty of time to explore the gardens with her."
"While you'll be frolicking in gardens with all your pony friends, your mother and I will be fending off the hordes of pretentious, self-satisfying snobs, forced to laugh at their witless jokes and talk about the economy and the weather and the weather-economy and how it's all your mother's fault." Discord leaned back and wearily rested his hand on his forehead, much like how Celestia had done earlier. Solaris snickered and Celestia smiled.
"Just be on you best behavior tomorrow and everything will be fine," the Alicorn mare said, gently rubbing off a smear of chocolate sauce from Solaris's cheek. "I am, of course, referring to your father. I know you'll stay out of trouble." She nuzzled against the boy's cheek. "You're my sunshine, after all."
"Moooom..." Solaris giggled. "That tickles!"
"Can we not do that at table," Discord pleaded, pretending to jam a finger down his throat in disgust. "Some of us are trying to eat." The Draconequus lifted his glass of cold chocolate-flavored milk to his lips.
Celestia returned to her seat and gave her son a wink. He winked back. "Hey Dad, Mom told me about your plans tonight. Do you think me and Fluttershy could too when we're in the gardens tomorrow?"
He and Celestia quickly ducked under the table, avoiding the brown chocolaty spray.
Love Inflames
Chapter 3: Love Inflames
Solaris was in a good mood. There would have been a spring in the young whelp's step if he hadn't been floating on a white fluffy cloud. A few servants trailed him undetected, mopping up the occasional puddles and pie crumbs.
He licked his gooey sticky hooves. The palace chefs weren't bad but nothing could beat Aunt Applejack's apple treats. Setting the empty pie pan aside, Solaris reached into the cloud and pulled out a paper bag of apple fritters. He took a bite and smiled. The cloud had kept them fresh and delicious. Solaris finished the rest of the fritter in a single gulp and reached for another.
The Gala hadn't been that bad, Solaris had to admit. He had fun. His aunties and Uncle Spike had fun. Even Discord and Celestia seemed to enjoy the night in the end. Solaris beamed at the memory of their smiles as they watched him chase after the small army of critters that had escaped the garden perimeter. Well, at least his father was smiling. Celestia was more in shock. The three did share a nice laugh at the end, however, and Solaris grinned as the memory of his mother's musical chuckle rung in his ear.
As he finished reminiscing, the young princeling found himself in the very ballroom that held the main event last night. He had to say, he was impressed by the speed of the castle's servants; one could have never guessed that just last evening this room had hosted a large stampede before being flooded by a mix of tropical fruit punch, carbonated apple juice, and jelly beans. Besides the sizable hole through the wall he had just floated in, there was no sign of the destruction that served as this year's Gala's highpoint.
In all honesty Solaris was a little disappointed. He hoped they would at least keep the hole. Oh wait, here come the repair ponies.
The colt watched the hard-hatted ponies work, measuring the damage, sorting out the costs. It took him a few moments to realize that nopony had brought explosives and so nothing exciting was going to happen. Ignoring the workers' annoyed shouts, Solaris went through the hole one last time.
"Good bye hole," he whispered sadly, touching the jagged edge. "May we see each other again someday soon."
Now what? Solaris wondered as he wandered through the corridor. He reached back into his cloud, producing nothing besides a moist hoof. "Empty," he muttered with a pout. "Drat. Now what?"
The young colt rolled over onto his back and sighed. He could always try raiding the kitchens. Who knows, maybe they were baking a cake or perhaps a few leftovers could be found. Applejack always left a few fritters and pies whenever she visited...oh wait. Solaris wiped the crumbs off his face. Yeah, he had already gotten to them.
He could always find his father. Discord always had something to do, whether it was a new game or a new prank to pull. Sometimes the two would even sneak off to Ponyville. That was always fun. The trick was, of course, finding the tricky Draconequus, something Solaris had never been able to accomplish. Every single time the boy would throw his hooves into the air in frustration and turn around to find the self-proclaimed King of Chaos grinning at him.
Maybe he could go see if Aunt Luna was awake and could play a game. Maybe he could try flooding the bathroom again or "reorganize" the library. Or maybe he could try sneaking out and visiting Ponyville. Yeah, that sounded fun. It couldn't be too hard to find. What's the worst that could-
Solaris's train of thought derailed as he floated and smushed his face into the wall. As he dusted himself off, the guards standing on duty considered him with raised brows before returning to their default stoic expressions.
He could always try to make one of those guys laugh. Aunt Rainbow swore she did it once but Solaris didn't really believe her. As he reviewed the collection of jokes Aunt Pinkie had provided him, guaranteed to make milk spurt out of your nose even when you're not drinking any, the young princeling noticed the line of important looking ponies waiting just outside a pair of regal looking door. The entrance to the Day Court, Solaris realized, where Princess Celestia did...stuff.
"Huh." What did his mother do during the day? She always seemed busy but with what Solaris didn't know. Sometimes she'd be too tired to even join in the games he and his father played. What did his mother do that was so exhausting?
He didn't know but with determination found only in the misguided mind of a child, Solaris was settled to find out. Maybe he could help Celestia finish early, then the two of them could play for the rest of the day. Now he just had to slip inside without anypony noticing, else the surprise would be ruined. If only he had a cardboard box...
*****
Well, it took him a coil of rope, an empty pie dish, a walrus's bucket, and an hour and a half long montage but he finally got in without alerting the guards. The colt now dangled from the ceiling, unnoticed by the princess, her advisers, or the angry yelling nobles.
"...this is inconceivable! Inconceivable I say!"
As he tried to free himself, Solaris observed the happenings of the Day Court. He remained largely unimpressed.
"I'm sorry, Sir Vizzineigh, but my decision stands," Celestia said. Solaris paused in his struggling as he heard the hint of fatigue mixed with annoyance in the princess's voice. "I will be reviewing the current garden's designs but I will not cage the animals. No pony was hurt and I see no reason to punish innocent creatures. Is there anything else?"
"No, Princess," the Unicorn grumbled. "That is all."
As soon as the noble was out of the room, Celestia let herself sag a bit and sigh. Solaris reach down toward his mother, trying to offer her a comforting hug, as she would to him whenever he was upset. Alas, several feet of air stood between the two and while Solaris was confident that a hug would cheer the princess up as much it would him, the lack of contact between the two rendered the service useless. He returned his attention to the snare, hoping to surprise Celestia with an embrace later, just like his father would.
"Are there any more Gala related issues today?"
One of the scribes, a white Unicorn with a black mane and tail and glasses looked over her notes. "Well, the orchestra will be here later to discuss payment, Lady Upper Crust has a complaint about the beverages and has a few suggestions for next year, Madam Big Wig demands repercussions for damages done to her toupee and would like any pictures of her without it destroyed before they can be published, Sir Gilded would like the chiefs fired immediately, says the food had too much flavor, the Wonderbolts have requested not to make an appearance next year, again, Sir Legal Eagle plans to press charges, again, Lady Posh-"
"Milady," a guard interrupted. "The next petition, Lady Clout Right, is ready."
"Send her in then," Celestia said, quickly recovering her queenly visage. "Lady Clout, how wonderful to see you. I trust you are well."
"If I may be honest, dear Princess," the salmon Unicorn said as she straightened herself from a bow, "I could be better, though I cannot complain seeing how I could be in your shoes."
"In my shoes? I'm afraid I do not understand."
"I am talking about the disaster last evening of course. I cannot even hope to fathom how you are feeling as of now." Clout shook her head. "To act so calm in the face of such embarrassment, you are truly an inspiration."
"Thank you." I think. "I'll manage, of course, like every year."
"Oh, but Princess Celestia, surely you recognize just how horrible this year's Gala was. An utter debacle. I dare say this has been the worst Gala of all time. Again, I cannot even bare to fathom the shame you must be suffering from right now. Why, if you would pardon my morbidity, if it were me I would have died of shame straight then and there, on the spot."
"Really?" Celestia lifted an eyebrow. "I can't say this one has been anymore memorable than the others."
"I am talking about...the prince."
"Discord? Odd, I hadn't heard of any complaints about him beyond his attire, his entrance, his sense of humor..."
"Oh, not him," Clout said quickly, shaking her head. "I meant..." The Unicorn took a deep breath. "...your, ahem, son."
"Oh."
"Yes, the colt, though he takes more after his father than any pony I've had the experience of seeing," Clout said with a sniff. "I come as a delegate of several other Canterlot nobles who find Prince Solaris a...poor representation of royalty and of this fine city, unlike Prince Blueblood. Quite frankly, the notion that that...child may one day rule over all of us keeps me up at night."
"What are you trying to say, Clout?"
"Well...dear me, is that a draft?"
"No, I do not believe so," answered Celestia coldly, ignoring the shivers of her advisers and the worried glances from her guards. "Continue."
"My apologies, I suppose I'm just a little sensitive to cooler temperatures. Yes, we feel it best that in order to avoid another catastrophe like last night young Solaris should avoid public events like the Grand Galloping Gala."
Celestia's pale magenta eyes darkened as they narrowed. "Weren't you one of the ponies that demanded, excuse me, requested Solaris's appearance for last night."
"Yes, because he is a prince and royalty and it is traditional for the subjects to see who we are to cast our future support behind. As of last night however it is obvious that Solaris is not fit for the title of prince. He shouldn't even be considered part of royalty after such behavior."
Solaris flinched at the sound of shattering marble. He was not the only one.
"I'm sorry," Celestia said, pulling her hoof out of the floor. "Please, do continue."
"Ur, well, ahem, yes, we deem it best that the title of prince be removed from the boy immediate and perhaps given to somepony more deserving. My son, for instance-"
"You'll have to forgive me, I thought I heard you say remove Solaris's title."
"Yes, that is what we believe is best for Canterlot. Now, my son, an admirer of your nephew by the way-"
"That title was bestowed onto him by blood," Princess Celestia interrupted. "He is royalty directly through me. Are you asking me to denounce my own son?"
"Denounce is such an unfortunate word. We prefer repudiate. It is, of course, for the greater reputation of Canterlot. I am sure you, in all your vast wisdom, will understand."
"No."
"No? Well I do have a written explanation detailing our purpose and our reasons." Clout began to present a large scroll.
"I understand perfectly. I have made my decision. As long as Solaris wishes to keep the honor, he is a prince."
"But-"
"The status of the royals is not in the hands of a few elite, Clout. Do not think I have forgotten the objections directed at Princess Twilight Sparkle's ascension and before then the arguments around the position of my sister Princess Luna."
"T-this is completely different! This is the entire reputation of Canterlot at stake," Clout protested. "We can't be represented that...thing!"
"Take care to how you speak of my son, my little pony," Celestia nearly growled. Several of her secretaries inched back.
"He's an abomination, a monster! I refuse to bow to a freak and neither will the rest of us. You've seen the destruction last night! He is capable of far more. All of Equestria will end in ruin if that grotesque bastard takes power! Can't you see? Can't you-"
"That's enough." It wasn't a shout but Celestia's words rung clearly, echoing through the court and cutting through Clout's objections like a sword. An appropriate metaphor, considering her voice was as cold as steel. Princess Celestia's eyes, however, were aflame, nearly shining with bridled fury as she regarded the mare before her. Clout took a step back.
"That's enough," Celestia repeated. "I will hear no more on this subject. Is that clear?" The last word came out as a hiss.
Clout Right tried to regained her composure. "V-very well, Princess," she said, trying to control her shaking. "B-but do not think this is the last word. Discord's boy will not receive our support."
"He won't need it," Celestia said to Clout's retreating figure. The Unicorn made no sign suggesting that she heard.
A guard nervously cleared his throat as he reluctantly broke the reigning silence. "Princess? The next petition-"
"Day Court will be taking a ten minute recess. Captain, please let everypony know. I wish to be alone during the break."
The bespectacled advisors and the armored guards gave each other fearful looks, before bowing respectfully and leaving. The door closed with a resonating slam.
Celestia let her majestic mane fall over her face. Her head fell into her hooves and her shoulders began to shake violently. The acoustics of the courtroom carried her soft sobs off, stopped short only by the solid thick doors at the entrance built for the purpose of deterring eavesdroppers.
Ten minutes later, Day Court resumed. Three minutes in and Day Court was interrupted by the petitioner screaming on the way out as a coil of rope fell onto his head. Surprised and more than a bit confused, Princess Celestia scanned the roof, expecting to find some wayward Pegasus or maybe her husband.
She found no one. The owner of the rope had long since disappeared.
Father? I Hardly Knew Her!
Love Hurts
Chapter 4: Love Hurts
An echoing sigh filled the hall as the mare marched through, levitating a large stack of important documents tied together with red ribbon. A few grey hairs stuck out of the normally exquisite bun she had chosen to style her mane in and her glasses sat slightly crooked, diminishing her usual professional appearance.
"One more year like this and I'm retiring," she grumbled to herself, quietly so that her words went unheard by the few guards on guard. Nasty little gossips in armor they were...
"Really? And I was on my best behavior..."
Raven groaned. With obvious reluctance, she looked up and sure enough, Discord was there leaning on top of the stack of paper. She answered the Draconequus's toothy grin with a frown, before dipping her head in a bow. "Highness."
"Where?" Discord swung his head side to side. "Oh, you meant me. Honestly, I have no idea how you keep your job if you can't even remember my name."
The secretary resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She turned to leave only to find the Draconequus standing directly in front of her, blocking her path. She took a deep breath.
"Is there something you need, Your Highness?" she said as sweetly as she could.
"Dunno, that's why I came to you." Discord tossed a small book in her direction. Raven nearly lost her grip on her own load as she caught the book. "What does my planner have for me today?"
Raven pursed her lips before setting aside her bundle of work and cracking open the calendar. "The dates are all written backwards."
"Yup."
"As are the notes."
"Well, so they are. What, can't you lead right to left?"
"That's not exactly the problem here," Raven said steadily.
"Oh, I know!" With a snap of his fingers, a large piece of reflective crystal materialized before him. A few greener guards flinched at the sound of shattering glass. "Here you are," Discord said, offering the largest shard.
"...thank you, Your Highness." Celestia's head clerk quickly adjusted her glasses and set the improv mirror next to the page of today, which, unsurprisingly considering the circumstances, actually said 'today'.
"Today ," Raven read, "pick up dry-cleaning. "
"Check!" Discord held up a sizable banana suit. "Our anniversary is coming up, I'm thinking about doing something special."
"Later today, " the Unicorn continued, "discuss politics in the form of a puppet show. "
"Don't listen to the leftist; they're donkeys! Don't listen to the righties; they're elephants! We're all racists and politicians and racist politicians, rawr."
"Later later today, predict the future. "
"In the next second you will be reading someone else's planner for them."
"Some time later today, thank the Secretary and shower her with compliments. "
"Raven, you are the most talented and well-spoken pony I've ever had-hey, wait a minute..."
"Play with Diddy, eat dinner, food fight(?), surprise waifu with... " A bright red blush lit across the mare's white face. "Oh my..."
"Ah, the perks of married life." Discord sighed as he clutched at his heart. "I'm sure you wouldn't understand, being married to your job and all. I'm sure it's very rewarding, well, except in the bed-"
"I have a husband," the scribe said coldly, ignoring the breach in protocol she made by interrupting the royal. As if in apology, she added hastily, "Your Highness."
"Could've fooled me." The Draconequus, snaking an arm around the mare and plucked the agenda out of her magical grasp. "You spend way too much time buried in paper. Take the rest of the day off."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Take the day off. Eat at Joes or punch an opera bouncer's nose or spend some quality time with this imaginary husband of yours."
"You were at the wedding!" Raven shrieked before remembering herself. "Ahem, in any case, I've got a lot of work to do first, and as much as I appreciate the gesture, I would appreciate it more if you would just let me get back to work."
"I'm sorry, what was that? I was too busy eating this lovely stack of important documents."
The Unicorn let her jaw hang loose. She really had no other reaction. "I...but...my work..."
Discord gave the mare a gentle pat on the back. "Take the day off."
*****
If there was ever one thing constant about Discord, it was that he loved his games. The trick was, of course, finding willing participants as most of these games were created to accommodate multiple beings. During his first reign the Draconequus had so much difficult finding others to play with that he completely dropped the "willing" part. Thankfully, the acquiring of friends and his marriage meant a reduced likelihood that a pony would find him or herself kidnapped, tied to a rusty toilet, and forced to play twenty questions with a very bored Discord. The birth of his son, whom was just as playful, was a blessing to the Draconequus along with a weary Fluttershy who now has trouble touching dogs named "Bingo" and Princess Celestia who just couldn't afford to spend all day in bed; interpret that as you will.
There was just one little matter: finding the boy in the first place. Every single time Discord would end his search with his head hung in defeated only to turn and find the princeling standing behind him. The conclusion never failed to brighten Discord's day and it always brought back the Draconequus's smile faster than he could snap his fingers.
"Looking for something, sire?"
Discord pulled his head out of the oven and found himself in front of the notoriously grump that served as the castle's head chef. "I might be, but first you have to guess what it is I'm looking for."
The stallion sighed, removing the tall toque from his head. The castle staff quickly learned that it was often easier to play along with the trickster than it was to force his cooperation. "You do realize that the princess would be in Court at this time of day."
"Ooh, good guess. Close too, but nope, not looking for those kind of hot buns right now, if you know what I mean." Discord wiggled his eyebrows, much to the chef's growing discomfort.
"You're never here for food so I doubt you're looking for the other kind...are you looking for a three-legged pony striped like a zebra with a green mane with buttons instead of eyes that flies around our kitchen replacing all the cinnamon sticks with magical glow-in-the-dark licorice?"
Those insane yellow eyes blinked. "...Celestia's right, I do spend too much time here. I'm looking lil' Discord Junior. You might have heard of him, prince of Equestria, Son of the Sun, sort of a big deal." The Draconequus pulled out a wallet. He opened it and out tumbled a long roll of photos. "He's got his mom's coat," Discord said, showing the chef a picture of a young Alicorn colt sucking his hoof. "And my Y chromosome, my sense of humor, my charm...oh, let me show you the picture I have of him being chased by Flutters's chickens. That ones a hoot." He looked around. "Hmm, I could have sworn he'd have shown up if I showed you that one. I know, here's little Diddy wetting the bed for the first time!" Discord lowered his voice. "Is he here yet?" he whispered.
"No, sire."
"Drat."
"I saw Prince Solaris some hours ago," an assistant called as she carried a large bag of flour. "He made away with the bag of Bearer o' Honesty's fritters and a couple o' leftover pies after replacin' all the cinnamon sticks with licorice."
"There you have it, sire," the head chef said coolly, placing his toque back on, not realizing that it was now a sleeping badger, . "Prince Solaris is not in the kitchen. Now, if you could excuse me, I need to get to work and make sure the sugar hasn't been mixed with the salt."
"Well, I guess you're right. Still, it wouldn't hurt to check the fridge."
"Please don't."
Too late. The ice box door swung open and several small penguins hopped out. Each one held a large tub either ice cream or cream cheese. Ice began to spread over the ground as the penguins paraded through the kitchen. Pots and pans and pastries flew into the air as cooks slipped and fell.
This time the chef didn't bother trying to suppress his groan. "Please let Princess Celestia know that dinner will delayed tonight, again," he told an assistant as the mare skated by. "And sire..." He turned around and sighed. Discord was gone, leaving him to clean up the mess. To make matters worse, he had left the refrigerator open.
*****
"Have you seen this colt? Have you seen this colt? Have you seen this-"
The doors were flung open violently. It took all of the guards' discipline not to scream out as they were crushed into the castle's stone walls by the infamous Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice.
"WHO DARES INTERRUPT OUR SLUMBER?"
"Indoor voices, Lulu."
"Oh, it is you, Discord. I should have realized." Princess Luna tore off the laced mask from her eyes and yawned. "Though foolish asking may be, I must know: what are you doing?"
"Oh you know, breathing, being, cellular respiration, thinking about your sister covered in chocolate-"
"I meant why are you wandering these halls, screaming at my guards, and disturbing my sleep? For the time being, I'll just ignore all the flyers you seem to be trying to wallpaper the castle with." Luna sighed. "I trust you do have an actual reason for all this and not just another chaotic episode of yours."
"Luna Luna Luna..."
"Yes, that is my name."
"After all these years, you should know by now; I don't have chaotic episodes, I'm an entire show of chaos, though I have to say this season's a bit subdued. I haven't even jumped a shark yet." Discord shook his head and rested his arm around Luna's shoulder. "And I promised the viewers so much," he lamented, bringing his wrist to his temple. "And now I've gone and disappointed them all!"
Luna blinked. "Unless you start making sense soon, I'm going back to bed. My headache remains from accompanying Prince Blueblood for the majority. A pity I missed young Solaris's reappearance."
"Solaris...reappearance...oh right!" Discord slapped himself in the forehead. His sister-in-law flinched as the clashing of cymbals shadowed the action. "Have you seen little Diddy?" the Draconequus asked, shoving one of the flyers in the Alicorn's face. On it was the crude rendition of the colt drawn with crayons. "I've been looking for him for, like, fifteen minutes. Don't let anyone know but..." Discord looked around and lowered his voice. "But I'm kind of getting a little worried," he whispered.
Luna stared at him. The crazed smile that normally occupied Discord's face had been replaced with a thin line, bordering on, dare she say it, a frown. "You're serious."
"Do you really think I'd offer the entire treasury as an award with I wasn't?"
"Yes." Luna peeled the paper off her horn and gave it back. "Where have you looked?"
"Well, there was the kitchen, this hall, that corridor over there...and that's about it."
The Princess of the Night rolled her eyes. "Then I trust you have yet to check the gardens? Our nephew does enjoy spending time cultivating and playing with the many animals there. I hear the upper class learned that rather recently."
"Yeah, can't imagine the scandal." Discord held up his hands. "'Breaking news, particular prince plays with posies, petunias, and possums, possible panic probably prepared'. The garden eh?"
"Aye," Luna said with a nod. She yawn and groaned, clutching her head. "Let my sister know that I might not make it to dinner."
"Again? Luna, keep this up and Diddy'll think he's part of a broken dysfunctional family. Next thing we know and he'll need years of therapy and it'll be all your fault."
"Apologies, Discord," she deadpanned. "I will see you later. I bid you luck on your search."
"Night sis." Discord waved his hand and presented a glass of warm chocolate milk. "Sweet dreams."
The glass was lifted by a blue aura. "Thank you." Then the princess disappeared behind closed doors.
"Well, to the gardens..."
*****
"Well, if it ain't Sir Discord. Fancy seein' you 'round here."
The Draconequus shrugged at the scruffy looking pony wielding a broken rake. "Just looking around. I'm looking for a special kind of creature. He's got white fur and-yeah, I'm looking for Diddy," he finished impatiently. "You know where I can find him?"
"Can't say for sure, boss. I haven't seen him but if he's here, he'll either be somewhere."
"...somewhere?"
"Yep, somewhere. Can't say with that boy. Might be climbin' with the monkeys or feedin the ducks or waterin' the sunflowers. Those are his favorites for some reason. But you can never tell. Get's a lot from his father, if you don't mind me sayin' Your Highness." The old pony chuckled. "Well good luck, I've gotta get back to work. Giant mess let over from last night, I'll tell you what." And with that, the gardener wandered off whistling.
It took a few seconds before Discord recovered his encounter and with a quick shake, he refocused himself at the task at hand. As the Draconequus looked between the trees and vines, he couldn't help but be impressed by Greenhooves ability, especially considering the stallion's current age. One could have never had guessed that an entire herd of animals had stampeded through here the previous night.
An eternity seemed to pass by as Discord searched. In reality only eight minutes had passed when he finally found the colt sitting next to the pond. A few quacking ducks swam past the unaware princeling as Discord approached.
"Guess who?" the Draconequus squealed, grabbing his son's shoulders. Odd, were they always this stiff before?
"Hi Dad."
Discord started. That wasn't the expected response. Just 'hi'? Just 'Dad'? And what was with the complete lack of energy? No shouting or hopping about? And where were the little giggles?
Not that there was anything wrong with the unexpected, Discord reminded himself, smiling again. After all, what was life without a little chaos?
"Ding ding! Give the boy a prize!" With a snap and a wave, Discord appeared in front on a bright stage with blinding lights and red curtains. Another snap and Solaris was now sitting on a raised pedestal. "Now behind one of curtains lies a wonderful prize. What could it ever be? A new one-of-the-kind deluxe ice cream makers? A year supply of chocolate milk? An amazing third thing?" As Discord gestured toward the curtains behind him, applause exploded from an invisible crowd. "So Diddy, what'll it be? Curtain number one, curtain number two, or curtain number sixteen?"
"Dunno." The colt shifted onto his belly, watching the ducks again.
"Tough decision huh?" the Draconequus said, stroking his chin. "Okay, here's a hint: it's not going to be number one or number two, so that leaves..." Discord prompt.
Solaris sighed. "Sixteen?"
Confetti burst from the ground like colorful geysers as trumpets thundered into the air. The ducks swam off in fright.
"That is correct! Give a hand for our winner, Diddy!" Discord cheered, grabbing his son and hoisting him into the air as he was met with the loud delighted shouts and claps from Discord's audience.
Solaris slid limply out of the Draconequus grip and took a step forward, away from the crazy scene behind him. He took another step, and then another.
"H-hey, aren't you going see what you won?"
The colt paused. "No, not really. I don't think I really care. Sorry."
Discord felt his jaw drop. Not literally, in a comical fashion in which he would simply pick up the detached body piece and reattach it using a drill. No, Discord's lower jaw simply hung there in utter shock.
The curtain was yanked aside and another Discord popped his head from behind it. "Did he just-"
"I-I don't know," the first Discord whispered. There as a flash and the stage, the pedestal, and other Discord vanished, leaving the stop how it had been moments prior.
"Well how about a game of hide and go fish?" Discord suggested, floating next to Solaris. "I'll be the fish this time."
"No thanks."
"No? Okay, what about painting?" Discord pulled out a pair of brushes and two large steel buckets of paint. "Wanna paint the town red?"
"No, not today."
"Monopoly? Dodgeball tourney with the guards? The floor is literally lava?"
"No Dad." Solaris turned around and looked up at his father. "I just don't want to play today, okay?"
"Don't want to play? But-"
"No!"
Discord recoiled as if stung by the boy's scream.
"Please," Solaris pleaded, "j-just leave me alone, alright?"
The Draconequus's feet landed on the ground as he watched Solaris dash away. Again, he let his mouth hang open and again he let the opportunity of a visual gag slip by. No bug of any size flew into Discord's gaping mouth as he watched his son run past the trees and flowers. As he watch his son run away from him.
He recognized the scent in the air. He'd recognize it anywhere. It was something he was familiar with, something he loved more than almost anything else.
Chaos. Chaos was in the air.
It had never tasted so bitter.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 