Saturday, 19th of Harvest Moon
Dear diary,
I was wondering, what does it mean to be a good friend? Oh, I know you can't answer that, but it's okay. I just wanted to share a thought with you.
You see, ever since the girls and I found out about the Elements of Harmony, I've learned a lot of things about friendship. From what I understand, being kind isn't enough to be a good friend. That's because there are four other elements to it: laughter, generosity, honesty and loyalty.
Without all five, the sixth element – magic – won't awaken. Does this mean somepony who is generous but dishonest won't make a good friend? What about somepony who is kind but dull? Oh, I hope my friends don't think I'm boring. I'm not very good at entertaining other ponies.
But anyway, like I was saying, each element is very important. Now, just because a pony isn't honest all the time, or just because they act a little rude once in a while doesn't mean they can't be a good friend, right? After all, the elements don't always agree with one another.
When a friend who obviously can't cook invites you for dinner and asks you if you like it, you have to choose between being honest, or being kind. If you choose honesty and tell them the truth, you might motivate them to get better at cooking, but you risk hurting their feelings. If you choose kindness and pretend you like it, you will spare their feelings, but their cooking might not improve.
Either way, I like to think we have to find a balance between the elements. You can't always lie to your friends or they won't trust you, and you can't always be blunt or they won't feel comfortable around you. It isn't always easy, but the choices we make and the chances we take in all sorts of different situations is what defines us and makes each of us unique.
Mr. Martinson has been doing well. He should be able to fly south for the winter without injuring his wing again. Harry had a new delicious recipe he wanted to teach me this evening. The sun was already setting on my way back home.
I was going to make some tea when I heard a knock on the door. I flew over and cracked it open to peek outside. I like to be careful when I get visitors at this hour. After all, you never know – it could be a timberwolf, or a dragon, or a salespony!
“Hey, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash greeted me from the other side. With relief, I unlocked the chains and opened the door to welcome her in.
“Oh, hello, Rainbow Dash. Please come in.” I closed the door behind her, but I didn't lock it back. I didn't want her feeling trapped, even though she rarely uses the door when she leaves. “Would you like some tea?”
“Uh, yeah,” she answered, seeming a bit distracted. “Thanks,” she added after a short pause. It wasn't like her to not look at me in the eye when we talked, so I figured she needed to relax a bit. She usually avoids looking at ponies when she feels uneasy.
I nodded. “Please make yourself comfortable, I won't be a minute.” With that, I walked back to the kitchen. I added some sugar to Rainbow Dash's iced tea – that's how she likes it best – then grabbed the plate and brought it back to the living room. When I arrived, Rainbow Dash was sitting on the couch, fiddling with her hooves.
After setting the plate on the table and pouring us a drink each, I sat next to her and gave her a little smile, hoping it would cheer her up. “Is everything alright?”
“Uh huh,” she replied absentmindedly as she grabbed her drink. She brought it to her muzzle and threw her head back slightly. After gulping half of it down, she lowered her cup and began staring into it thoughtfully.
I knew giving her my undivided attention always made her feel better, so I turned to her and silently waited for her to talk. She glanced at me sideways a couple of times, then sighed in defeat.
“I...” she began, then paused. She put her drink back on the plate. “I have this weird feeling when I...” She paused again, running a hoof through her mane nervously. “Fluttershy, have you, uh...” I could have sworn she blushed a little before her hoof met her face. “Ugh!”
She was never very good with words, but that's okay. It's what ponies truly mean to say that matters. I scooted closer to her and put a forehoof on her shoulder to calm her down. “Take your time, Rainbow.”
Her eyes darted across the floor, as if looking at invisible butterflies. When she finally spoke again, her voice was much softer.
“Have you ever had a crush on somepony?”
My mind reeled at the question for a bit. I certainly wasn't expecting that, especially not from Rainbow Dash. When addressing an embarrassing topic, she generally asks what others think about it first so she can evaluate her own opinion. But did that mean she had a crush on somepony? Oh, Rainbow Dash, you really are growing up after all...
“Oh, um...”
Before I could answer, she nervously started again, a bit louder this time. “I mean, it's not really a crush! It's more like... like...” She was intensely staring at her own hooves, making some kind of hoofbump gesture, but I couldn't understand what she meant by it. Although, I could feel she was getting frustrated. She finally deflated again. “It's... It's sappy.”
“It's okay,” I reassured her. Letting it out would make her feel better, I was sure. Besides, I didn't mind sappy. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Rainbow nodded, but kept her eyes on the floor. “I just want to...” Her voice was barely over a whisper now. “I want her to hug me. And nuzzle me, and...” She slowly hugged herself as she talked. “Yeah...” Rainbow Dash remained silent for a while after that.
I smiled. She looked really cute, so absorbed into her dreams. But I figured there had to be more. “Um... is that all? I mean, we already hug and nuzzle as friends.”
Maybe it was something I said, but her cheeks gained an exceptional shade of pink. “N–no! I mean, yeah, we do, but— it's not the same thing!”
I didn't follow. “But how?”
She lifted a hoof to her muzzle and thought about it for a second. “When we hug, we... like, both hug. Right? But I just want her to... hug me,” she explained. Or at least, I think that was an explanation.
I had to admit, I was a bit confused. “You... don't want to hug her back?”
“O–of course I want to hug her back! I just... ugh, forget it.”
Why wouldn't she want to hug somepony back if she likes them?, I thought to myself. That's when I realized just how nervous Dashie was. She wanted to be hugged... “Oh! Did you mean like a spoon hug? And you would like to be the little spoon?”
At first, the dumbfounded look on her face indicated that I was wrong. “Whuh?” But the more she thought about it, the redder she became. “Oh! Uh... y–yeah. Yeah, just like that. I want to be the... ugh, that sounds so lame.” She tried to hide her muzzle in her hooves.
I couldn't suppress a giggle. I had always pictured Rainbow Dash wanting to wear the saddle in a relationship – she was a born leader, after all –, but to be honest, I had always had my doubts. With the kind of friends she made during flight camps, I'm not sure she would have been able to anyway. Most of them didn't have a very good influence on her. Or at least, that's how I felt about them.
It made me curious, though. She had changed a lot since then, especially with what happened with Gilda not too long ago. But then, which one of her new friends could possibly make her this nervous?
“Who is it?” I blurted out before realizing what I had said. “Um, if you don't mind me asking, that is...” I quickly added so that she didn't feel pressured into telling me. In truth, I really didn't need to know. She already had had enough trouble admitting having a crush on somepony, interrogating her was rude of me.
She hesitated regardless, I could tell. After a while, she glanced at me. “You promise not to tell anypony?”
I nodded. That was the least I could do. “I promise.”
Her voice was shaking a little. “It's uh...” She looked around carefully, probably making sure none of my animals were paying attention, then leaned in close and whispered, “It's Applejack.”
I hadn't realized how tense I was until hearing that name. I felt so relieved. “That's wonderful!” I exclaimed. Applejack was a good pony, and I knew she would take good care of Rainbow Dash. After all, she was the first close friend we made after moving to Ponyville a few years ago.
But Rainbow disagreed. “No, it's not wonderful!”
I must say, I was taken aback. “It's not...?”
That was all I could ask before she took off and began gesturing around wildly with her hooves. “What am I supposed to tell her? I suck at mushy stuff! I'm totally gonna mess up and our friendship will be ruined and it's all gonna be my fault!” she finished, holding her head in her hooves desperately.
“Um...” So that's what she needed help for. It made sense when I thought about it; she had so much trouble telling me how she felt, it's no wonder she was afraid of embarrassing herself in front of Applejack. However, I was good friends with Applejack too, so I knew better. “Maybe you don't have to tell her.”
Rainbow wasn't buying it. “What do you mean, I don't have to tell her? I can't just keep feeling like this, I can't even sleep at night!”
I didn't think she understood, so I repeated, “No, I mean, you don't have to tell her. Instead, maybe you can show her?”
Suddenly, she calmed down. “Hey... hey, yeah!” She landed back on the couch, looking rather perplexed this time. “But... how?”
I smiled and put a foreleg around her shoulders. “Well, you could start with spending some more time with her.” I knew that meant we would spend less time together, but if it made her happy, then it made me happy, too.
“But we already see each other every week with the other girls,” she argued.
I figured she was rather confused, so I gave her a hint. “Yes, but that's the point. You should spend more time alone with her.”
“Ohhh...” she slowly responded. “But wait, I can't be alone with her. She's always working at Sweet Apple Acres!”
Now, I knew she was just making up excuses. “Then why don't you go over there in the morning and offer some help with her chores?” Knowing Applejack, she was probably busy with applebuck season at this time of the year.
Rainbow was staring at me like I had said something silly, so I explained: “That way, you'll have the rest of the day to yourselves. Plus, I'm sure she'd appreciate a helping hoof.”
She instantly brightened up at the idea. “Oh my gosh, you're right!” She lightly smacked herself across the head. “Why didn't I think of this?” She was soon flying again, but this time, she looked excited. “Now I can't wait for tomorrow! But I gotta get rested up first if I'm gonna be working all day.” She hugged me goodnight, and I gently hugged her back. “Thanks a lot, Fluttershy. You're the best!”
With that, she bolted through the open window and into the night sky. I giggled and waved, although she was already far out of sight.
I can't wait to hear how it goes.
Love,
— Fluttershy ♥
