Oh, how wonderful! A guest! Barely anypony comes by the garden these days. Aside from her, that is. It gets so very dull. Stay and talk a while, my good pony! Who knows, maybe you’ll get hateful enough to push me that much closer to freedom. Even if not, it’s always nice to have a little chat!
Oh, but I forgot. You can’t hear me, can you? Of course not. A statue can’t very well speak now, can it? I’m just rambling to myself, in my mind, as always. What fun. But I’ll tell you what; I’m just gonna go ahead and pretend you can hear me. Much less mundane that way, yes?
So, since you were kind enough to drop by, I thought we’d share stories. Everypony loves a good story, right? I’ll tell you how I came to be here, and then you tell me how you did. Fair enough? Good. Oh, and you can’t leave. The very least I can do in this rocky situation of mine (ah ha ha, aren’t I just the wittiest?) is compel you to stay. So stay.
Now, where to begin? What was the moment that sealed my fate to stand here, utterly motionless, for over a thousand years? Perhaps it was the day I massacred the Alicorns. Perhaps it was the day I chose not to kill her even though I knew she’d be a threat. Perhaps it was the day I met her for the first time. Or perhaps it was the day I was born with a sense of humor. The world is just so serious all the time. Nopony appreciates a good laugh, and they inevitably kill off anypony who does. So boring, don’t you agree?
Bleh, whatever. Doesn’t matter now. Where was I anyway? Ah yes, the day of doom. I’d say my fate was sealed the day I met her. She, who lured me in by being all friendly and funny and able to take and make jokes, and proceeded to trick me into thinking we could just ignore the fundamental differences between us and go on happily and live in perfect chaotic harmony before she betrayed me and decided to become all grim and dull and finally broke her promise and turned me to Faust-damned STONE!
Yeah, I’m bitter, what tipped you off, Sherlock Hooves? You’d be awfully bitter too if you’d spent that last thousand-plus years standing perfectly still in a garden where your most frequent visitor was the one who put you there in the first place. It’s the worst possible thing; it’s boring.
Well what do you know, I seem to have gotten off track again. I suppose I had better get started before I go off on another tangent. Now, the day I met her…
Well, she was the first Alicorn I had ever seen. I’d certainly heard about them from Mother and the Draconequi warriors and anypony else who ever left our forest. Mother always went on about how senselessly destructive they were, how they defied the very laws of nature and wanted to rebuild the world to suit themselves and yadda yadda yadda. It interested me back then, but back then I was young and foolish and content with the mild chaos of nature (oh, and natured worked on its own back then, I’ll get back to that later). But, although she’d beaten into my head how terrible the Alicorns were, she somehow neglected to tell me what they looked like, and I was left with my own mental pictures of black Draconequi with ice for their manes. Thus, my first reaction to seeing her was something along the lines of “the hell is that?”
I actually heard her before I saw her. She was singing, actual words, but in a bizarre dialect. It stabbed my ears like daggers and then mended them like a restoration spell. It was dreadful and jarring and intriguing and pleasant. I could tell she was no animal, but she didn’t sound like any Draconequus I’d ever heard. So, naturally, I sought her out.
When I found her in a clearing, she was facing away from me, which I suppose was best, or she’d’ve ran off before I could get over the shock of seeing something so strikingly out-of-place. I had been expecting a Draconequus from some far off land come to help fight the war or something. But this thing looked more like an animal than a Draconequus; she was symmetrical, with only two colors: a white body and a pink mane and tail. Yet the general air about her wasn’t at all akin to a mindless animal. My first foolish idea was that she was a Draconequus cursed into a bizarre body. I was transfixed on her. Hypnotized. I couldn’t look away.
An impulse told me to confront her, but I didn’t want to risk scaring her off. The way that she moved, that she sung to herself, that she observed her surroundings, just everything seemed to suggest that she was sapient. But I didn’t want to take the chance. I wanted to look at her more.
She looked so jarringly out-of-place in the midst of the forest, like something that really just shouldn’t exist. But I was strangely happy that she did. As abnormal as she was, she had a kind of beauty about her that nature just couldn’t create. It was truly… bizarre.
After I had stood there for some time, she began to slowly walk away, and I knew I had to take that opportunity. I just had to figure out what she was. As slowly and carefully as I could manage with my mounting excitement, I stepped from behind my tree into the light of the clearing. Approaching her from behind, I held my hands open, hoping to convey good intentions, and called out to her.
“Don’t run away. Don’t be scared. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She turned sharply, looking up from the flower she had stopped to sniff, and stepped back several paces. As she turned to me, I caught sight of her face clearly for the first time. I suppose it was a good thing that the sight immobilized me, or I would have kept walking and likely scared her away.
Her eyes were what got me. They were massive, covering nearly all of her face. They were an incredibly vivid shade of purple, and looked even more unnatural than anything else about her. Those violet eyes were like nothing I had ever seen.
At the time, it didn’t even cross my mind that I looked quite as strange to her as she did to me. Perhaps she had no idea what a Draconequus looked like, and had just as much of an idea of what to make of me, as I did her. But at the time, I scarcely even noticed her stupor through my own. For Faust-knows how long, we just stood there, staring at each other. She was the first to shake it off.
“Wh… who art thou?” she asked. I suppose it was then that I realized, on some level, that she was a better pony than me, because the first question that would have come to me would’ve been “what are you?”
Stuttering, I told her my name, but nothing else. We then proceeded to stare at each other in what was likely the most comfortable silence of my life. I have absolutely no idea how long that went on, except that it isn’t still happening now. All I can remember is that, at the end, I finally managed to return her question.
“I am-” she began in response, but she suddenly looked up at a magic-sounding noise. I took a step closer to her, but she fled into the trees. I called out to her, but she long gone.
A claw then fell on my shoulder. In retrospect, I think that proves that I never had a heart, or it would have stopped just then. Which is complete and utter crap, of course, but let’s ignore that now. The point is that I was more terrified than I have ever since been when I looked up to see that Mother showed up. I had no idea how, but she did, and her anger was downright terrible.
The return to our cave (rather, her dragging me back to the cave) passed as a blur. The half of my mind that hadn’t been left behind in that clearing was paralyzed with fear. Mother had never been so angry at me before, and I had no idea what I was supposed to have done. She, of course, just didn’t realize that I had no idea what an Alicorn looked like, and assumed me to have been deliberately befriending one.
You never want to experience my Mother’s true wrath (she’s dead now, of course, so it’s not like that’s a high risk anyway). She was the most powerful Draconequus to ever exist (except for me, obviously, but at the time I was nothing) and she pulled no punches. You piss her off, and she’ll kill you. Painfully. I’d seen it before, and in my blind fear I thought that was to be my fate.
But instead, I was treated to a furious rant about the evils of the Alicorns and their destructive, orderly, unnatural ways, which eventually led me to conclude that the violet-eyed creature was, in fact, an Alicorn. While I was surprised, to say the least, I found my opinion of her oddly unaffected. Not that I had much of an opinion of her beyond that she was strange, but I felt no contempt for her with this information. But I knew that wasn’t what Mother wanted to hear, so I expressed generic anger, and she seemed satisfied. She let me go, anyway, and I was wise enough to mention my hatred for Alicorns whenever the opportunity presented itself.
At the time, I had no idea if she thought about me any further, but she just seemed to imbed herself in my mind, and showed no rush to leave. Try as I might, I couldn’t go more than a day without her crossing my mind. She just seemed so innocent. So pure. Despite everything Mother told me about her kind, I felt no drive to harm her. In fact, the thought of harming her sickened me. Sickened. Me. And I practiced experimental magic on small animals! I endlessly poured over what could possibly make her so different.
Perhaps it was just an illusion given off by the fact that I met her before I knew what she was, but I couldn’t associate her with the destructiveness of her fellows. Somehow, I knew she was different. There was just something unique about her. She didn’t clash with nature, but seemed quite as at home in the Forest as a Draconequus. She belonged, she blended, and, just from those few moments, I knew she did not destroy.
But then there were all of Alicorn prisoners I saw since her, not making things any easier to understand. They were not the same. Not at all. They clashed horribly with nature, and continually fought against it. They were clearly visible for what I knew them to be: the Destroyers. They looked like beings that would lay waste to the Forest and reform it to suit their needs. But not her.
You know, I so loved to visit the prisoners. They were the perfect targets for experimental magic, being more resilient than common animals. Mother encouraged this, both to improve my prodigious skill and to enforce that they were not to be pitied. She likely assumed that I regarded the violet-eyed one (oh, why had I not asked her name sooner?) likewise, or else that I had simply forgotten her. Neither, of course, was true.
What’s this, off track again? But that’s what’s to be expected, and where’s the fun in the expected? Rambling is what you’d expect, so focus is chaotic, isn’t it? Have I hurt your brain yet?
Heh. Now, the second time I met her… was about twenty percent less important to my descent, but important all the same. Would I have gone mad if I had never seen her again? Oh, but I imply I wasn’t always. Would I have gone madder if I had never seen her again? Certainly, I think. Would I have gone this mad? Probably not, I am sure. But I did. And so, I did.
It was out of the forest. The second time I saw her. I had been leaving the forest often for several months by then, but had never ventured near a “city” and thus seen only one Alicorn outside before (a little colt who wandered off; being alone, I attempted a mind-altering spell on him that, disappointingly, ended up just killing him).
But her. Her. She appeared again, what, four years later? Five? Something of that sort. I was wondering in the valley between the two realms, between forest and mountain, Draconequus land and Alicorn land, where many a battle had been fought, where many lives had been taken. The knowledge of the blood that had been spilled there was… exhilarating. So I wandered there often.
She actually saw me first that time; she actually snuck up behind me. I’ve never known how she always managed to do that. Nopony else ever has. I suppose, that time, it helped that I was lost in reverence of the bloody ground. But regardless, my thoughtful drifting was sharply interrupted by a hoof on my shoulder. I whirled around, ready to blast whatever it was halfway to the moon, when those violet eyes pierced my soul for the second time.
You have never been as surprised as I was just then. Nor do I think you’ll ever be. I wasn’t expecting to ever see her again, and certainly not be seen by her first. But all surprises are good; surprise is, in fact, the ultimate good, not petty, fragile “friendship”, as she would likely have you believe. In a world so naturally unpredictable and violent, chaos is law, and insignificant virtues like “loyalty” and “kindness” cannot stand up to it. The only good is surprise.
At least, that’s how things should be. But as I have said, back then I was both foolish and young, and knew none of this.
My, aren’t I prone to rant? You get that way when you have nopony but your own thoughts for company. Anyway, there I was, frozen in place by her purple gaze. She seemed slightly less surprised to see me, though, and I just now considered that she could have watched me many times before as I walked through that valley of death.
She, of course, was the first to break the silence. With an obscenely adorable stutter, she murmured one word that seemed to liquefy my heart.
“D-Discord?”
That made it rather more difficult to speak, not easier. I just continued staring stupidly at her, until she spoke again.
“…Dost thou remember me?” she whispered. She sounded fearful. She didn’t want to have been forgotten.
“We met in the forest, years ago... dost thou remember?”
It took me a few moments, but I finally managed to get a word out.
“…Yes.”
I had no idea what to say to her, or rather how much. What would she think if I told her she had scarcely left my mind in the past three years? Would she think me crazy? Around then, though it was something I had come to terms with already, I knew I didn’t want her to know that I was mad. Though it lasted quite a while, it was the only time I’ve ever felt the need to conform to something. Somepony. Looking back, it was stupidly weakening.
But the point is that I couldn’t decide what to say, because I didn’t want her to think that I was insane. So I just said nothing for a vague while, which, come to think about it, probably didn’t help my sanity argument very much. But again, she was the one to break the silence, and this time it stayed broken.
“I did not get to tell thee my name last time. I am sorry, thy mother merely frightened me.” She blinked and swallowed slowly. Why do I remember that? “My name is Celestia.”
Celestia. Of the heavens. Ha ha. How fitting. That’s exactly what I thought. How fitting. Doesn’t get much more dumb and cliché than that, folks. “Oh how perfect, she must be from heaven!” Times like this, I want to beat past me with a heavy blunt object. My idiocy was remarkable.
But by Faust, that had to have been the happiest I’d been up to then. That sort of happiness is alien to me now; the memories feel like somepony ripped them from another brain and smashed them into mine. I haven’t felt happy like that in years, and I don’t really care to.
But then, at that time… it was something else. I had met her again, it wasn’t just a one-time chance occurrence. And if I could meet her twice, I could meet her three, four, five times, however many I wanted. I could be with her.
So, something about knowing her name made words flow much better. My next words followed hers closely, and were ridiculously impulsive.
“Celestia…” I hummed. Her name felt right on my tongue. “How fast are you?”
“Fast? I… think myself to be rather fast.”
“Then catch me.”
I took off flying as fast as I could possibly could without the aid of magic. I didn’t bother looking back, because I knew before I moved that she would follow. I still don’t know why I did that, but I’m certainly glad I did. Maybe it was to let her know that I’m full of surprises. Oh, isn’t that a way of putting it?
But I never would have guessed how quickly she’d have caught me. Believe me, I’m fast when I want to be. But I wasn’t flying for more than ten seconds when she crashed down on me and threw me to the ground. It was… a pleasant surprise.
“Heh. Thou certainly art fast,” she breathed in my face. “But thou must do better than that.”
“Tia, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
I lifted her off of me with telekinesis, confused by my own reluctance, and was surprised to see that she quickly broke the spell and landed next to me. I paused for a moment, being impressed, before I returned to the air. This time, I magically propelled myself forward. I held absolutely nothing back.
And she still caught me in under thirty seconds. Go figure, huh.
She stared down at me with those blindingly bright violet eyes, which shone with a mix of emotions. Glee. Pride. Ease. Playfulness. It was far from difficult to be paralyzed by them.
“Quite impressive,” she laughed superiorly. “Thou art strange, Discord. But a pleasant strange.”
“The same could be said about you, Tia.”
We did that thing again, where we just sorta stared at each other for a while. I’m pretty sure it didn’t last very long that time, though. When she left, it was rather hurried.
“Oh, well, I must return to Canterlot,” she said abruptly. “But I do want to see thee again. Couldst thou come back hither this time to-morrow?”
“Perhaps. I’ll see. Don’t count on it.”
Oddly enough, I meant it. I had no idea if I would return. As with most things, I preferred not to plan at all, but make split-second decisions. She seemed a bit sad at this answer, which was good. She ought to.
“Well… I sh-shall be hither then… I… I will just see you later.”
Those violet eyes tore through me one second longer, and then she was flying away, towards the mountain Alicorn kingdom. I watched her until I could no longer find her in the sky. And I stared in her general direction for a while after that, too.
Rather than what I’d hoped for, seeing her again had not made her any easier to figure out. I was just as confused about her as ever. Actually, I’d say I was far more confused. I’d never known anypony quite like her. She was… likable. Not just non-hate-able, like my handful of Draconequus “friends”, but actually likable. She was fun. And nice. It was downright bizarre, and not in the usual chaotic sense. She was just… bizarre.
Oh, you find this funny? It amuses you? Well, if you think this is funny… you’re absolutely right. It’s hilarious. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to destroy your mind once I’m free. I see your soul like it’s a giant neon hat. You could never outrun me. You could never fight me. The day I’m free, you will be dead to the world. You will be everything you hate. I recommend you kill yourself before that day comes.
But not, of course, before I finish my story! Now just sit back, listen, and enjoy.
Unusually enough, seeing her had had one profound effect. She did not cross my mind for precisely twenty-three hours and fifty-seven minutes. I returned to the forest, checked on the Timberwolf cub who I had imprisoned in a gradually-warming cage, practiced transfiguring a puddle of water into chocolate milk, returned to Mother’s cave, and went to sleep. I distinctly recall that I dreamt about mutant bunnies, rather than her, as I stored that idea away for later use. For the first half of the next day, I wandered about the forest in my usual manner, just throwing out whatever spells occurred to me.
Except, it really wasn’t in my usual manner at all, because usually she was hanging over me. Being the fool I was back then, I did not recognize the feeling, but, as always, it’s obvious in hindsight. For the last time in my life, I was completely, actually free.
I suppose that was my last real chance to back out and save myself. For the reason I did everything, I didn’t take it. I didn’t even dwell on it. It was as simple as a split-second decision after suddenly remembering that she existed. For no reason, I knew what I was going to do, and I did it. In under a minute, I was out of the forest and approaching that spot in that bloodstained valley.
I immediately saw that another figure was standing next to her. She was dark blue, with lighter mane. Her eyes were somewhere in between. She looked somewhat tenser than Tia, which was saying something, as Tia was incredibly nervous. She feared I wouldn’t come. I think her sister feared I would.
I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I teleported directly behind them, expending extra energy to get rid of the usual noise, and waited there silently.
“Wh-where did he go?” Tia asked quietly. Her fear was lovely. “I am certain that was him over there, but he hast vanished…”
“Well, I say that we depart soon. I do not think that he intends to return,” the blue one grumbled, also quietly.
“Who’s not intending to return, now?” I whispered, placing an arm around each of them. Their shrieks carried across the valley, and I was very quickly suspended in midair by what seemed to be a greenish glow.
Tia’s bright, violet, fear-filled eyes glanced over me, though, and she realized who I was. With a deep sigh, she released her telekinetic spell, but the blue one did not. She merely continued to glare up at me with mingled fear and anger.
“Who art thou? What art thou? What dost thee-”
“Luna, stop! This is him! Let him down!”
“I’d certainly appreciate that.”
Luna still seemed wary, but released me. I’m fairly confident that I could have broken her spell, but something told me not to. Not sure what, really. But it doesn’t matter, because she let me down. She isn’t still levitating me, see?
“Thou did not mention that he was a Draconequus,” the blue one murmured, in what she apparently thought was a whisper.
“I believed his name would have made it obvious.”
“I’m still here, you know.”
I hate being ignored. It’s one of the most pathetic things a pony can be. Unnoticed. I always strive to assure that I will always be known.
Like when I said that. It jerked their attention back to me, after it had drifted slightly for a moment. My presence finally hit Tia, and she looked quite literally like a huge weight had been lifted from her back. I had showed up. She didn’t have to worry any more. I had showed up.
“Discord!” she called out. She was still breathing quickly.
“Indeed, Tia,” I simpered. The blue one glared momentarily at me.
“Um, Discord, this is my sister, Luna,” she introduced, awkward. It bothered me. “She desired to meet thee.”
Luna extended a hoof. Being unfamiliar with the Alicorn custom of touching hooves in greeting, I stared intently at it. Realizing my advantage of differing customs, I opted to mess with her and spat in my left claw before gripped her hoof.
“Ah! That is disgusting! Why wouldst thou do that?”
“It’s Draconequian custom,” I improvised. “Do Alicorns really not do that?”
“No! We do not! We do this!”
She suddenly magically pulled me forward by my arm, pressing my hand to her hoof. The dominating motion briefly stirred up my rage, and I magically lifted her into the air too, preparing to smash her into the ground. Celestia intervened, though, by magically forcing us apart. Luna tried to magically push her out of the way, but I magically pushed her back.
The whole scene of magical movement descended into delicious chaos, which quickly became more akin to friendly wrestling than murderous struggles. We were all fairly even in magic strength, which made it all the more fun.
Like all good chaos, it became impossible to keep track of, though one moment stands out in my mind. At some point, Celestia had me pinned down beneath her hooves, staring me down triumphantly with those vibrant violet eyes. That was another one of those moments that I only know ended because it isn’t still happening right now. I vaguely recall Luna throwing her off and leaping over me, before I grabbed her and tossed her to the side. Tia rushed forward again, and the incomprehensible chaos returned.
The sun was setting by the time we grew tired. We stopped wrestling and briefly laid down on the grass. Though we had barely spoken, a strange sense of unity swirled around us. If that was what friendship is, then I’m forced to admit that there’s something to it. In retrospect, of course, it was laughably weak (look where it got me), especially next to the power of chaos, but I can’t say that it’s nothing. It certainly is something.
Without much warning, Tia and Luna were afraid. Luna shouted something about their mother before taking flight at impressive speed. Tia scrambled to her feet, but hesitated. I levitated lazily, giving her a mildly curious look.
“Our mother… is rather… strict,” she explained, far too slowly.
“You should go then.”
“I would like to see thee again,” she said, as plainly as you can imagine, while still being extraordinary.
“We’ll see,” I answered, though I already knew what it was we would see. She looked nervous, though, which was good. She was visibly reluctant as she took off into the sky after her sister.
We met regularly after that. The place and time varied a lot, but we spent much of our free time together, embarking on some new adventure or playing some new game. They were the only ponies that I would ever really call my friends. I kept my inner madness from them, for fear of scaring them off. I also neglected to mention that my mother was Anteconcordia, the most powerful Draconequus both magically and influentially. That, at least, was just fair, as they left the “princess” off of their names, too.
I didn’t let mother know about them, either. I suppose it makes sense that my only friendship was built with lies. I didn’t care though. That was when I learned the first of the six most important lessons of my life, that made me what I am now. You can never be honest with everypony. It’ll get you hurt, ruin your fun, and make everything just worse. Lies are often more fun, so fend off dull or painful truths with them.
And that’s precisely what I did. My mother knew nothing of the Discord who played with those Alicorn sisters, and they knew nothing of the Discord who helped my mother, ah, interrogate Alicorn captives. Neither of the two sides would be happier if they knew about the other. So why tell them, huh? It would ruin the fun, both theirs and mine.
So we three met in secret.
Tia came notably more often than Luna. On the few occasions when Luna came alone, everything we did was basically the same. But when it was only Tia… the difference was perceptible. The few strands of reservation the three of us maintained together were snipped away. When we spoke (which was less often, anyway) it was with utter bluntness. We would say precisely what we thought. I never lied to her, in the strictest sense, but I did lead her to make less-than-accurate assumptions. But I can hardly be blamed for that.
Ah! I just remembered something. The lesson on honesty was actually the second of the six most important lessons of my life. Perhaps the most important one was learned far before then. Unusually enough, it didn’t involve Tia in any way, shape, or form. It happened way before I even met her.
I was not yet established as a colt of any significance beyond being the son of Anteconcordia. I was just that weird quiet kid who might not be right in the head, that you can’t really pick on, ‘cause his mom is sorta the unofficial grand leader, but that you certainly want to keep your distance from. He was a just a creep. He went around the forest all on his own, never playing with anypony else. Some even say he locked up small animals and did weird things to them. Others have heard stories about how he mumbles to himself, inventing creepy spells. You’d best stay away from him.
But then one day, this stupid bunch decided they were bored and thought that making the weirdo look stupid would be funny. So they learned a simple sticky spell, gathered a whole ton of feathers, and levitated them up in a tree. Then they all ambushed me as I was walking, hit me with a dozen adhesion spells, and dropped the feathers on me. They quickly swarmed in around me, calling me the “bird basher” and “feathery fool” and other such amazing alliterative appeals. Apparently because I killed birds and made things from their feathers, which was only partially true. And they just roared with laughter the whole time.
And, in retrospect, it really was funny. It didn’t take me long to realize that. But in the moment, I was enraged. Angrier than I had ever been. Ready to unleash five-year-old me’s maximum hell on them. But what came most naturally was more collected, and much more effective. Improvising a variation of a spell I had half learned, I snapped my fingers and made each of their faces sprout with feathers. While they were still frightened I stained to levitate them all I the air, and force them to flap their arms and (if they had them) wings wildly. I told them they looked more like birds to me, and laughed. When I finally let them down, they ran off in humiliation, several of them crying. It was delicious.
But it taught me something important, too. Laughter is a weapon, and a mighty one at that. You have to use it against others, or others will use it against you. From that day on, my amazing sense of humor became my most important weapon, more powerful than any spell.
Well, I got off topic, didn’t I? No, I really didn’t. There really is no topic here for me to get off of, anyway. I’m just ranting, and you’re just listening. But let’s just go back to where I was, shall we?
…Ah yes. Well. As I was saying, the three of us, or sometimes just Tia and I, kept meeting in secret. That worked for a good three or four years. It’s hard to keep track of time. I distinctly remember the night that era ended. Two major things changed that night, actually. It was also, without a doubt, the pinnacle of my foolishness and naïveté. Or the start of it, at any rate.
It was just Tia and I, at the edge a pond. Luna had planned on coming, but got sick the day before. Actually, her health had been rather unsteady lately. But anyway, Tia and I had just finished swimming in that deep pond and exploring the underwater caves. We both knew spells to allow ourselves to breathe underwater, but we didn’t use them to make it more exciting.
But eventually we got tired, and so we returned to the shore and merely lay next to each other silently for a while. She eventually spoke, or rather sang, in a more perfect voice than you could ever imagine, the improvised words rolling from her mind to her tongue fluidly.
“Across the earth and across the stars,
“In every land, on every isle,
“No magic exists to heal my scars
“More fully than thy lovely smile;
“To deepest depths and to highest heights,
“There lives not anypony
“Who lights my days and warms my nights
“In as true a way as thee;
“From richest mare to poorest foal
“Never could a pony fill
“The missing fragment of my soul
“As wholly as I know you will;
“Across the earth and across the stars,
“Across the whole hist’ry thereof,
“A bond more enduring than ours
“Has never formed between two loves.”
That was another one of the times that I’ve been truly at a loss for words. I just sat there silently. She did too. We had gotten comfortable with just being silent. Again, she was the one to break it, in the most casual, matter-of-fact voice you could imagine, with her distinctive Alicorn accent mingled with a Draconequus slur I had rubbed off on her.
“I love you, you know.”
This managed to delicately brush off my stupor. “You know that’s impossible, right?” I told her. The question was stupid, though, as she had already explained everything in her song. I just wanted her to say it again.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “But I do anyway.”
“You know that it could never work?”
“Yes.”
“You know it would never be allowed?”
“Yes.”
“And you know that our races exist to eternally kill each other?”
“Yes,” she said, as determinedly as ever. “But I do anyway.”
“Then I love you as well.”
And you know what the worst part is? I meant it. I really believed what both of us said. Somehow, against all reason, I really honestly thought that petty love could protect us from the darkness of the outside world, and the darkness inside me. Again, pinnacle of stupidity. But it gets worse.
“Discord?” she said after a brief pause.
“Yes?”
“Promise me that you won’t allow this war to come between us.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Tia.”
That bad enough? That really show you what an incredible fool I was? Well, it should. I hardly need to add that we kissed after that. It perfectly reflected, well, everything else. It batted harsh realities of war and hatred away, and carried false promises of peace and love strong enough to conquer chaos. But we were both young and stupid, and we believed them.
But listen to this. Listen to this positively sumptuous irony. The kiss persisted for less than half a minute, and likely would have led to more, had we not been unceremoniously interrupted by- well, give it a guess. What do you think?
Nope, close. It was Queen Harmonia herself. Celestia’s mother, the strict commander of the Alicorns. But I didn’t recognize her, of course. That didn’t mean she didn’t scare the hell out of me when she descended from above in a flash of light.
“Celestia Harmonia!” she shouted in a voice nearly as intimidating as Mother’s. “Explain thyself!”
“M-Mother,” Tia stammered. I have never seen her so purely frightened.
“Well?” she shouted. “Do explain why thou art even in the forests of the Draconequi? Let alone, to be… to be… fondling this Draconequus colt?”
“M-Mother, how didst thou findeth us?” she borderline-whispered, fighting to keep the Draconequian twang out of her voice. You know, I actually never found out how she did find us there. But anyway, her mother began to shout something in response, but, because things weren’t already bad enough, another untimely arrival interrupted her.
“You!” my mother spat as she charged into the scene. “Queen Harmonia! On what grounds do you dare invade my forest, witch?”
“Be gone, Anteconcordia. I am merely retrieving my daughter.”
“This is an act of aggression, witch. We will not stand for this.”
They glared silently at each other briefly, and I swear they were close to beginning their inevitable epic clash right then and there, which could’ve easily meant the ruin of, well, everything. But I was mostly distracted by the new information that Celestia and Luna’s mother was, in fact, the Queen of the Alicorns. I tried to meet her eyes, but she wouldn’t look at me. She was ashamed.
I briefly contemplated teleporting away before Mother recognized me, but of course she took that moment to do so.
“Discord!” she shouted, with a heavy note of incredulity. “You, my only son, are the one this Alicorn came here for?”
That was one of the few times I’ve ever been completely at a loss for words. I glanced over to Celestia, who, having learned of me what I had of her, was now looking at me. She was shocked, but relieved. I nodded slightly at her, and she understood.
The horribly uncomfortable silence was finally broken by my mother.
“Harmonia, you are unimaginably lucky to get this much: take your whore of a daughter, and get out of my forest immediately. I will not tell you again.”
“I would not dream of dwelling in your primitive squalor a moment longer. Follow me, Celestia.”
She took off into the sky, and Celestia delayed another second to meet my eyes. I stared into those deep, fearful violet eyes, and tried to convey something. I didn’t even really know what, and she didn’t either, but somehow we understood. She then looked like it physically pained her as she flew in wake of her mother.
“Now, I’ll deal with you,” my mother spat. She glared at me like I was something you’d find under a rock.
Physically, that beating was the worst pain I’ve ever been in. Yes, even worse than being turned to stone. It’s the reason I’m missing a tooth, you know. By the time she was done, I’m pretty sure I looked dead. Mother probably didn’t care whether I was or not. She didn’t say anything the entire time, anyway. She let her blows do the talking, and talk they did. The fear that Tia, and possibly Luna too, but more Tia, was suffering this hurt a hell of a lot, too. Not worse, of course, stupid, but still plenty.
But at least one good thing came out of that. She managed to beat a seed of an idea into my head, that would later grow stronger. It was the basis for the third of the most important lessons of my life: cruelty is strength. By the same idea, kindness is only weakness. I didn’t fully realize that part yet, but a certain somepony’s betrayal would drive that home. But the seed was planted there, by my mother’s merciless hand.
It took at least five weeks (maybe more, I’m not so good with time) before I was fit to walk around the forest under my own power. If my mom wasn’t so busy with, well, being the supreme leader of the Draconequi, she likely would have personally made sure that I didn’t see the Alicorn princesses again. Instead, she got inept fools to attempt to follow me around and report to her. This was laughable, as they wouldn’t dare report the truth to her if they failed. They were easily evaded, and they would tell her that all was well every day.
But despite how pathetic they were, it was still much more difficult to meet with Tia and Luna. The forest was far too dangerous, and the blood-soaked middle plains were not much better. When we did meet (which was far less often) it was somewhere very far away that we picked out the previous time.
That went on for a year or so. Maybe even two. But we could only meet around once a week or so. Mother began making me aid the Draconequian army in various ways, as did Queen Harmonia to Tia and Luna. We were all rather busy, and Mother was reluctant to allow me “forest wandering” days. But we were friends, so we worked it out. Because we were friends.
And then that era ended. Oh, that day. Doubtlessly the second most important day, behind first meeting her. Everything changed on that day.
Everything passed in a mundane sort of way, but with an underlying tension, until twilight. As I was watching the sun set, and reflected in anger that Queen Harmonia made it do so…
Oh, right, the temporal freeze spell!
So, at some point in between Mother finding out about Tia and me and that day, Mother and several other powerful sorcerers gathered and rampaged up the mountains to unleash devastating chaos on the Alicorn city, Canterlot. That probably would have been the end of the Alicorns, had it not been for their secret weapons.
At some point between then and the previous major battle, the Alicorn Queen created six artifacts she so humbly dubbed the Elements of Harmony. She, of course, kept the most powerful for herself, but gathered five close advisors to wield the others. I was never completely clear on what exactly it is that they do, but it seems to me that they somehow manage to convert things like “honesty” and “loyalty” into real, tangible magic. I have no idea how that could possibly work, but I’m fairly certain that’s what they do.
But, anyway, the Draconequi warriors and sorcerers had increased the chaos of nature so greatly that it would annihilate any Alicorn civilization. To counter that, the six Alicorns with the Elements set out a spell of Harmonia’s design that literally froze nature in time. Things could still move around, but nothing would ever change in any way without specific effort to make it change. It was basically the Draconequi’s worst fear: that the Alicorns would rewrite the laws of nature to better suit their orderly designs.
According to Luna, it worked too well. They apparently only wanted to stop the Draconequi’s charge, but instead created something they could not undo. They found ways to make nature progress through cycles directly, but they couldn’t make nature go back to the way it was before. I rather doubt that they tried very hard, as having nature completely orderly, doing exactly what they want, was precisely the way the Alicorns thought it should be. That why they were at war.
Only the forest was saved, which was then named Everfree. The effects of the spell spread slowly, and all the Draconequi were able to return to the forest quick enough to form a barrier against the spell around the forest. The spell soon stopped actively taming things, so the barrier was allowed to fall, but the forest remained the only natural part of the world. It was very disheartening for most of the Draconequi.
So, I was bitterly reflecting on that, alone, when Celestia suddenly appeared. In the forest. Alone. It caught me so completely off-guard, as she hadn’t come to the forest since that time, but her urgency didn’t allow me time to remain startled.
“I am tired of all of this, Discord. Let’s just leave, just leave this all behind. This war, this wrath, this sorrow. Let’s just leave, so we may live happily.”
Once my shocked brain managed to process all of this, I asked the first thing that entered my mind.
“What about Luna?”
“She will be fine. I told her where to go if she wants to find us, so that she might meet us some time later. She said she needed more time to think.”
“Very well. I’m fine with this. Let’s go, then, Tia.”
At the time, the tears in her violet eyes surprised me. She didn’t cry often. But, looking back, she knew what she was doing. Oh, how it must have pained her.
We left immediately, quickly and quietly. Nopony saw us. I let Tia lead the way. I trusted her, blindly. We went straight through the forest, and across the southern part of the bloody plains. We passed through a brief desert, another forest, and another plain before we reached the ocean. Then we crossed it, stopping briefly on an island. When we reached our mainland destination, we crossed a much larger desert and a shorter mountain range before we reached a vast forest. There, at last, we stopped. It seemed that we had traveled for days, weeks even, but the dawn never came. In retrospect, it was obvious that they were withholding it. But that didn’t cross my mind, of course. I thought only of Tia.
We consummated our love that eternal night. It’s a good thing we picked then, because the dawn would see it broken. It was literally last-minute. And when we were done, and lay next to each other to fall asleep, we again promised… that nothing… would come… between us…
Nothing…
Ah ha ha ha ha! The most hilarious part is, we meant it! Right then, right there, we meant it! And it wouldn’t last an entire day! It’s so. Bucking. Hilarious!
Luna ruined it all. She told her mother about our location out of her before she could leave. Knowing that hurt, too. I actually trusted her.
So we were unceremoniously awoken, as the dawn finally arrived, by that Alicorn Queen. And she proceeded to kill me.
“Celestia Harmonia! Get up immediately!” was our alarm. We scrambled to our feet, hardly daring to believe our ears.
“M-Mother? How di-did thou findeth us?” Tia stuttered.
“Be silent, you disobedient, reckless, foolish filly! Thy good sister Luna informed me of thy destination! Thou art to return to Canterlot at once!”
“N-no, Mother. I am staying here with Discord.”
“What didst thou say? Dost thou truly wish to ruin thy mother’s celebration of victory with thy impulsive flight?”
“Mother, please, don’t…”
“Thou wisheth to stay with the last of an extinct race? Thou wisheth to abandon thy people? Thou art to be the next Queen! Thou must not remain with the last monster on the face of Earth! It must be-”
“Woah, wait just a second!” I cut across. I hate being ignored. “What do you mean, the last of an extinct race?”
“Oh, truly, Celestia? Thou did not tell it why thou wanted to flee?”
“Mother, no, don’t-”
“Foolish filly! Thou, colt! Thy people are entirely exterminated! Celestia fled with thee because she knew we Alicorns were to eradicate them in a Battle of Eternal Night. She clearly desired to save thee. Now thou art the last Draconequus.”
My world began falling apart pretty damn rapidly there. I looked beseechingly at Tia, begging her to make tell me that wasn’t true. But those violet eyes only reflected misery and regret.
“I’m sorry…” she whispered.
And, right there. That is the moment my world shattered. Mother was dead. Everypony I knew at all was dead, but Celestia and Luna. I never realized that I actually cared about them at all until they were all dead.
But what was worse, far, far worse, was that Celestia had deceived me. Betrayed me. I was one of the most powerful Draconequi, and she knew that! I could have fought! But no. She betrayed me…
SHE BUCKING BETRAYED ME!
…
…
…
…she… betrayed me…
…Harmonia ordered Celestia to return again, and promised that she would only allow me to live if Celestia would leave immediately. Celestia hesitated. My rage peaked, and I shouted.
“Go! Get out! You lied to me! Just leave! And don’t come back!”
I relished the agony in those violet eyes. She deserved it. All of it…
And then she slowly, painfully, took flight, heading back north, with her mother following closely. I watched them with the single most confusing maelstrom of emotion I have ever experienced. I couldn’t even begin to describe it.
I straight-up rampaged after that. Whatever that land was, I annihilated it. By the time I was simply exhausted, it was a massive desert. I then went farther and farther south, and my mindless rage gradually subsided. I eventually settled in some sort of cave, and collected my thoughts.
I was able to work out the fourth major lesson I learned in my life. Nopony is actually loyal to you. They may say so, but they are quick to stab you in the back when it suits them. Luna and Celestia had both proven that. Celestia had wanted only me, and preferred the rest of my kin dead. So she betrayed me. And Luna, for some reason I never understood, betrayed us both to her mother. I assume she must have gained something out of it.
But the point is, that nopony is loyal to you. Thus, it is foolish to be loyal to anypony. They’ll only betray you.
I fell asleep at some point in that cave. Somepony woke me up a while later. I had no idea who they were, so I dejectedly hit them with the first spell that came to mind. Their hair ended up growing incredibly fast, so fast that they were soon drowning in it. It ensnared them, dragged them to the ground, and eventually suffocated them.
It made me smile. It made me laugh. The last few hours had felt eternities long, and I had felt as though I’d never smile or laugh again the whole time. But that was… simply hilarious.
And I suddenly recalled my first important lesson, and reclung to it. Laughter is a weapon. An unstoppable weapon. I realized that, coupled with chaos, it can destroy anything. Like the petty love and friendship that was hurting me so much.
I was reborn. I knew how to fix everything. All the problems in the world. They all stem from either monotony or friendship. But those could be easily eradicated in one fell swoop. Just upset the established order of things. Make everything chaos. In the unstoppable storm of chaos, nothing could be wrong, for wrongness itself would be right.
So I set out to put my theory to the test.
It was not difficult to find a nearby village. They were not ponies, it turned out, but elk. They spoke a strange tongue, but it was easy enough to figure out who their leader was and that the big tree in the middle was sacred. So I changed its leaves into various explosive nuts that contained a random rapid rodent that turned the ground into jelly where they walked. I pretty much just strung several nouns together and worked a spell out of them. It was tiring, but certainly worth it. Several elk were killed by either the rodents of the explosions. Just for extra fun, I turned them into zombies. The sheer pandemonium was delicious. I couldn’t believe I had never done anything like it before.
And it made me forget about her.
I eventually grew bored of that place. So I left. I traveled south, into a mountainous region inhabited by llamas. I made them allergic to snow and spit acid, amongst other things.
Then when I got bored there I went further south, into a huge forest. I made the trees tear their own roots up and run around. Most of the prominent species, leopards, got trampled by them. Eventually the trees all found their way into the ocean.
After that, I went more to the west, and found some plains, with primitive nomadic zebras. All I remember there is making them savagely carnivorous. Then I went across the sea, to an icy place. There I made some volcanoes erupt molten chocolate. No, literally molten.
From there, I traveled north-westernly, along the coast, since most of the primitive civilizations lived there. I became more and more powerful as I traveled, and the chaos I brought with me became more and more massive. All the races I encountered knew some degree of magic, which they mostly used to counter the Alicorns’ temporal freeze spell, which seemed to have no limit. But anyway, they did have magic, but it was petty next to mine.
I didn’t just spread physical chaos, either. I observed the behaviors of all the races, and they all had the same tendency to group together, to form families and friends. I learned how to turn those on them, how to corrupt them, how to drive them apart. It wasn’t hard. I just had to find what ideals they held to most through simple mind reading and reveal to them, in as disturbing a way as possible, that those ideals were laughably weak, or insignificant, or worthless. They would quickly turn on everypony else around them, and their precious “civilization” would fall to pieces.
Over the course of my travels and observations on the ways of mortals, I gradually learned my second-to-last most important lesson. Everypony could only survive if they cared only about themselves. Attempting to give to others leaves you with nothing; attempting to help others leaves you with no energy to help yourself. If you try to care about others, you’ll have nothing.
Eventually, I reached a point where the coastal civilizations just sorta stopped. At that point, I rushed across the seas. Most islands were boring. The only thing that wasn’t for a while, was actually the only thing I’ve ever seen that I completely didn’t understand.
There was one island that remained unaffected by the temporal freeze. There were no sapient beings on it to magically make nature flow, or to even have protected it. It just… was. I decided to leave it untouched, and have never been sure if I should’ve. But I’m inclined to say yes.
Then I found the floating islands. The mortals there were surprisingly well-developed, which made them all the more fun to decimate. They were the only places where I faced active resistance, but by that point I was far too powerful to be at all threatened. After a good amount of time (I stopped keeping track once I started wandering) those civilizations were in ruin.
I then flew north-westernly from them, along a deep ocean trench. I soon came to a large island, entirely covered with a forest, that was completely empty. I proceeded to the most north-westernly point, not touching anything. Immediately, I knew that my march had reached an end point. There was a power in the land just visible through the clouds across a rift that was beyond my own. Despite knowing that, I couldn’t resist the temptation to attempt to cross it. I mean, really, could you?
I woke up back on the shore. But I was not the same. The power had touched me, and I was beyond anything I had ever dreamed of before. My might was incredible, overwhelming; I was borderline omnipotent. But I knew better than to try crossing again. Instead, for the first time in Faust-knows how long, my mind turned back to her.
And I knew where I was going next.
I first traveled in a general south-easternly path, opposite of the way I had generally gone. I went back across the floating islands, and, noticing that they were already adapting to the chaos I had left, completely changed everything. They had all moved to live in isolation, since I made them all hateful, so I set new disasters that required cooperation as I traveled through. I hurried across the sea, reaching the next shore within only one or two nights. It was a lot easier since I apparently didn’t need sleep anymore. The next land was disappointingly empty, so I swept across it just as quickly.
I didn’t slow down at all until I reached an icy kingdom in what appeared to be the lands north of my destination. I halfheartedly wrecked the area, but by then I was eager to get to the end. The pause was brief, and I was very soon crossing the northern mountains and entering the northernmost city of what was now the Alicorn kingdom.
Or so I thought. I was somewhat surprised to see very few regular Alicorns. Most were either wingless, hornless, or bothless. I could immediately tell they were weaker in both magic and will, and set to work on them.
The blades of grass turned into actual blades. Clay figures rained from the sky, that shattered into tinier clay figures and dragged little foals away. Houses grew limbs and got into drunken brawls with each other. It began to rain chocolate milk from the ground up. I would occasionally stop to conjure up a glass and have a sip. It was rather tasty, if I may say so myself. Very rich.
Oh, but best of all, were the fights between the ponies. They were incredibly easy to play against each other, and that easily eliminated any chance they had of dealing with my chaos. Once I saw into their hearts, all I had to do was say a few magic words to weaken their will, and my new patented Discordation spell would tear them all apart. Their struggles were so petty, yet so hilarious. I could’ve stayed there for days, but I had more important things to do.
The only problem was the Alicorns. They weren’t quite so easy to corrupt. There were only five in the entire city, though, and they were scarcely able to survive the chaos. It quickly became clear that they were capable of undoing it once I left, though. And we couldn’t have that, now, could we?
So, for the sake of simplicity, I just killed them. All but one of them straight-up. The last one I managed to drive into suicidal insanity, but the others were annoyingly strong-willed. So their deaths had to be boring, for the greater fun.
I dealt with the other cities likewise. And by likewise, of course, I mean not at all the same. Each one was unique. Special. Beautiful in its own little way. They were like poems or paintings, and I the artist. It was so spectacular.
I didn’t meet Luna until the fourth city. Canterlot had gotten wind of my activity by then, and Luna had set out to investigate. She was surprised to see me, to say the least.
“Discord? Is that truly thee?”
“Luna! Oh, how long has it been, dear Luna? Really, how long? I have absolutely no idea.”
“…Over twelve years, Discord. Things have really changed. Our mother is dead, for one, and we are the co-rulers of Equestria with Celestia.”
“Heh, Equestria. Is that what you’re calling it now?”
“Indeed, it is. But… why art thou here? What art thou doing?”
“Oh, this? Just a little fun. Your kingdom seemed kinda boring, so I thought I’d mix things up a bit.”
“But, Discord, we do not think that thou understandeth the way things are now. There are more races than Alicorns living here. Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns have migrated here. And they cannot hold up to as much magic as we can. So, we ask thee to stop.”
“You know what, Luna? I don’t think I will. First off, stop talking plural. It’s annoying. Second, this is kinda my kingdom too. Since my own mother’s dead, that means I’m in charge of Draconequus lands. Which, last time I checked, was all of your ‘Equestria’.”
Luna was quiet for a long time after that. I had scared her. I took that time to look into her heart. She had become skilled at concealing it, and that alone said a lot. But I easily undid the locks, and was delighted at what I found.
She was hiding inner resentment. Since Harmonia’s death, she had taken control of the night, and her sister the day. That much was obvious just by looking at her new cutie mark, a crescent moon. But she wasn’t happy about the divide. She was very clearly the lesser of the two rulers. Night had become merely the absence of day, a time to sleep and ignore. And she wasn’t at all happy about that. But she didn’t want to say so.
“Are you happy with your role in Equestria, Luna?”
“Eh- what?”
“Happy. Are you happy? Happy knowing you’re the lesser ruler? Happy knowing nopony really cares much for you or your night?”
“I-I… we… Th-that is untrue. D-day and night compliment each other.”
“Is that what your sister told you?”
“…Discord, why art thou killing ponies?” She wanted to avoid that subject.
“Killing? I certainly am not killing. Some ponies may not have been able to handle the fun very well and gotten themselves or others killed, but I’ve never killed anypony.” That was a lie, of course, but it was a convenient one.
“Th-thou must stop, Discord. Thou art welcome to live in Equestria, but thou must cease what thou art doing.”
“But I thought you wanted things to be changed, Luna. The established order to be upset. I plan on abolishing scheduled day and night altogether! Everypony will have no choice but to appreciate both! Don’t you want your night to even be noticed? Or are you happy being insignificant?”
She still saw me as her friend from long ago, and my words slashed her like talons. When her resolve reached its lowest point, I reached out and gently tapped her horn, initiating the Discordation spell.
And nothing happened. Except that she broke out of her stupor. Like the other Alicorns, she was too resilient. Agitated, I suspended her in midair, gradually closing off her airways. It did sadden me a bit to destroy an old friend, but then I reminded myself that it was she who told Queen Harmonia where Tia and I had left to, and I quickly tightened my grip.
But then she broke it, without much apparent effort. She had grown stronger, too. She was still outmatched, though, and she knew it. With one last, disbelieving look, she took flight and left.
My redecoration rampage commenced after that. Luna appeared a few more times, but never her. I couldn’t decide if I was happy about that or not. But Luna always managed to evade both death and corruption. The other Alicorns, however, were not so lucky. Several fled to Canterlot. The rest were killed. And then, at last, when literally the entire rest of the known world was in chaos, I attacked the last Alicorn stronghold.
It wasn’t hard. Not at all. Before I actually went there myself, I set a searing hot hurricane on the city, and frigid backwards chocolate rain, and regularly-oriented poison joak juice rain. Just before they had time to deal with that, I struck. The food began devouring them. Several turned into ice cream and melted in the hot hurricane. Their pathetic attempt at an organized attack fell to pieces, and the few lower races that lived were easily turned. In the pandemonium, I slipped into the castle, and sought out the rulers.
She was not there, but Luna was, frantically trying to give orders in the insanity. These fell on deaf ears. I laughed at the sight of her, and asked if she wanted me to call her sister so there would be a sense of authority. She squealed and fled into another room.
It wasn’t long before the last of the Alicorns were dead. I had no idea how the entire Draconequus race had failed to eradicate them for so long. They were laughably weak.
The victory of chaos was marred by a few troubles, though. For one thing, I was unable to find those secret Alicorn weapons, the Elements of Harmony. What was worse, I never saw her body, nor Luna’s, and could not just assume them dead. They were the most powerful ones, after all.
But that was to be dealt with later. At that point, I sufficed to declare myself the sole ruler of Equestria. Not that affected anypony in any direct way, as the chaos just persisted as inconsistently as always, but it was a horribly demoralizing to them.
After that, I began expanding the domain of Equestria. Most of the world was in some state of chaos, but nowhere nearly so much as the special treatment I had given Equestria. So I conquered more lands, setting my angrier subjects on them in a rapid, unpredictable attack, while I screwed with their pathetic control of nature. My empire became incredibly vast, and it seemed that I was unstoppable.
And then Luna revealed herself. That was some time later, possibly many years (time had long since lost meaning). Bordering on tears, she gave me a solemn warning: that she and she had spent this time recovering the Elements of Harmony from the places that Queen Harmonia had hidden them, and that they were both prepared to fight to the death if I would not back down. I asked if that was her idea or her sister’s, and she ran away sobbing.
Some time later, they appeared at my castle, in what used to be Canterlot. Both of them, that is. Each with a necklace around their necks, and a bracelet on each foreleg. Celestia kept her gaze down, but I saw tears falling. At last, she looked up, and a tragic, determined fire blazed in those violet eyes. I was unprepared for it. But I quickly recovered.
“Hello, dear Tia. I’ve missed you. Are you going to kill me?”
“We… we must…”
“Must? But what was that promise we made so long ago? That we would not let this war come between us? This is but the second verse of the same song, Tia. Does that mean nothing to you?”
Her pain was clearly visible. I relished it. “It means everything, Discord. But thou were the one who put it between us. Now you expect me to pretend it is not there?”
“I never did that, Tia. You betrayed me, and I returned to forgive you. But you still betray me.”
“I know that I did, Discord, and thou shalt never know how truly sorry I am. But it is thou who hast betrayed me this time. Thou art not the stallion I once loved.” Oh, the agony.
“Is that how you see it? Is that really your justification for betraying me?”
“Thou must be stopped, Discord. This chaos cannot continue.”
“But it was all for you, Tia. All for you. I wanted to create a perfect world for you. But you fled from me, so I only tried harder.” Lies, of course, but weaponized ones. Actually, not complete lies, really.
“He is lying, sister,” Luna said finally. “He is just trying to save himself.”
“Save myself? Not at all. I’m trying to save you. Do you really think that your sister can defeat me as I am now? Let alone you, little sis.”
“Not alone, we couldn’t. But we aren’t alone. We have each other. And we have the entire population of Equestria. They give us a strength far beyond thine.”
“Is that so? Well, let’s just see then, shall we?”
The fight that followed was probably the most intense fight the world has ever seen, or will ever see. Oh, how it felt like the wrestling game we played when we first met! They felt the nostalgia, too. For them, it made the fight progressively more difficult.
It spanned across the entire castle, and felt as though it would have taken up several days, had time flowed. Reality practically ceased to exist. Oh, it was beautiful.
By all logic, I should have won. I could never find a single reason why it should have ended the way it did. I suppose it can only be called cruel irony, that my defeat would defy sense.
It ended with Luna flinging me from the highest tower into the courtyard. When I hit the ground, I knew at last that I was finished. Somehow, they had overpowered me. I had proven impossible to kill, but I could not fight a moment longer. I was outright exhausted.
And then they landed before me, and knew what I knew. They looked at each other, before turning back to me. I knew they were prepared to finish me, in one way or another, as each of their Elements glowed. So I whipped out my final weapon; leaping onto a pillar, placing a hand on my chest, and raising the other in the air, I sang in my broken voice.
“Across the earth and across the stars,”
“Discord…”
“In every land, on every isle,
“No magic exists to heal my scars”
“Discord, please, don’t…”
“More fully than thy lovely smile;”
Her pain was great enough to kill her. As was the pain erupting in my feet as they became stone.
“To deepest depths and to highest heights,
“There lives not anypony”
“Don’t do this Discord…”
“Who lights my days and warms my nights
“In as true a way as thee;”
“Please, I love you! Stop…” My legs were icy stone. But I fought through the pain as bravely as she did.
“From richest mare to poorest foal”
“No more…”
“Never could a pony fill
“The missing fragment of my soul”
“I’m sorry, Discord…”
“As wholly as I know you will;”
“I’m sorry!” My arms begin to freeze.
“Across the earth and across the stars,”
“You gave us no choice…”
“Across the whole hist’ry thereof,”
“You gave me no choice!”
“A bond more enduring than ours”
“But I still love you, Discord…”
“Has never formed between two loves.”
I held the last note as long as I had a mouth to do so with. One last time, I opened my eyes, and met hers. My last sight. Those violet eyes, drowning in misery, burning with love, blazing with determination, torturing me in a way stone and magic never could. The pain was too much, and I my eyes fell shut.
And they’ve been shut ever since.
And that, my dear listener, is how I got here.
And I’ve got just one last thing to say, and then you can go on and do whatever it is you do. Just keeping you here has been exhausting, given the severe magical limits that come with being made of stone.
But anyway, it was right then, as I held that final note, and for the last time gazed upon her deep, violet eyes, that I finally pieced my first five lessons together, into the sixth, last, and most important one.
Laughter is a weapon; anger is more so.
Honesty brings pain; lies protect fun.
Kindness induces weakness; cruelty expresses strength.
Loyalty leads to betrayal; treachery is wise.
And Generosity begets scarcity; avarice ensures survival.
And from these, I finally put words to most powerful lesson you could beat into your petty mortal skull:
Friendship is tragedy; chaos is eternal.
Now go. Get out of here. Live you stupid little mortal life, and pray that you don’t live to see the day that I am freed.
For your heart is full of darkness, and you will easily fall to me.
After all, I am darkness.
Just ask her…
