Sleepless Shiny's Seaddle Sunset

by punzil504

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance
Length: 16265

After Princess Cadence passes away, Shining Armor starts dating again. Is he destined to end up with a Pinkie Pie Clone?

After tragedy strikes, Shining Armor transfers to Seaddle with his son. Meanwhile, in Baltimare, Sunset Shimmer has returned to Equestria and has settled in nicely. She's even getting married soon. A phone call one Hearth's Warming Eve to everypony's favorite radio personality will change their destinies… forever.

Written for the September 2013 Random Romance Contest, well before the reveal of Princess My-Wingspan-Is-Obviously-Overcompensating-For-Something.

Warning: Contains Flash Sentry, R63, obscure background pony shipping with well known supporting characters, OC x Mane 6 shipping (sort of), toy shipping, Flash Sentry, horn cancer, inappropriate use of the word "inconceivable," the technology required to make a phone call, and Flash Sentry.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-30 07:30:03 UTC

The End of Waponi Woo

Cadance was dead.  It wasn’t anypony’s fault, as much as Shining Armor wanted to place some of the blame on the doctors, the princesses, and even himself for not noticing his wife’s condition until it was too late.  He could even try to blame King Sombra and that damned changeling queen too, although it would be quite a stretch even to claim that they exacerbated Cadance’s condition.  Not that the dead Shadow King or the exiled queen would have cared, either.  In this instance however, the forces of evil could not be blamed for the Crystal Princess’ death.

Ultimately, what claimed Cadance’s life began with horn cancer.  Fluttershy had tried to ease Shining Armor’s pain by talking about how fast it had happened, and how it was a good thing that she didn’t suffer long.  Shining had nodded to the Element of Kindness, knowing that she meant well, and was trying her hardest to ease his pain.  Fluttershy didn’t know, though. No, Fluttershy had not been present when Shining Armor and Cadance had discussed the removal of her horn.  Fluttershy was not around to hear Cadance’s internal struggle about what the ramifications of such an act meant.

“I’m an alicorn princess, Shiny,” Cadance had said.  “You remember my ascension day as well as I do…”

“Cadance, losing your horn doesn’t make you any less an alicorn.  Besides, you were a pegasus before your coronation.”

“But I wasn’t a pegasus at my coronation,” Cadance had bitterly retorted.  “Ponies expect their royalty to be alicorns now, and even more so since your sister’s ascension.  Without my horn, I’m no better than… Blueblood.”

“You know as well as I do that ‘Prince’ is Blueblood’s name, not his title,” Shining responded gently.  “Besides, the Crystal Empire needs Cadance.  Not Cadance the alicorn, Cadance the pony.  Cadence their hero who helped save them from King Sombra.  Spike may have been the one immortailized in the window, but everypony knows that he and Twily couldn't have done it without you.”

Cadence just stared at the wall and wept.

“Would it help to remind you that the mare I fell in love with was a pegasus, and that it wouldn’t have mattered whether she was an alicorn, unicorn, pegasus, Lunar Guardpony, or earth pony, I love who is in here.”  He tapped her barrel for emphasis.

Cadance remained silent, except for the occasional snuffle.

“Please say something,” Shining begged.

It seemed like an eternity before the stallion received a response.

“Promise me.” Cadance finally implored him weakly.  “Promise me that I’ll get better if I do this.  Promise me that it’s the right thing to do.”  She started going through a familiar set of motions.

“I… I can’t make a promise like that,” Shining Armor admitted, his head drooping.

Cadance nodded and looked away from her husband.  She was all cried out.

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “That was unfair of me.  Even the doctors said it’s only fifty fifty.” She snorted, and glared angrily at her hooves.  “That’s like flipping a bit and saying ‘heads I win, tails I die.’”

Shining grimaced as he paced nervously around his wife.  Unfortunately, this routine had become fairly commonplace to him ever since they had heard the prognosis.

“They also said that not going through with it gives you six months.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I don’t know what else to say,” Shining blurted in frustration, waving his hooves frantically.  “I cannot make the decision for you.  I’m your husband, and while I may be your health care proxy, you’re of sound mind and perfectly capable of making your own choices.”

“Shining Armor.”

The pink princess gently took hold of her husband’s foreleg.

“Promise me that no matter what decision I make, you’ll support me.”

Shining felt droplets of wetness leaking from his eyes.  Unlike at his sister’s coronation, he couldn’t call them liquid pride this time.  There wasn’t much to be proud of in a situation like this.

“When I married you, I promised to support you for better or worse, in good times and bad, and in sickness…” he paused for melodramatic effect, “and in health.  I intend to keep those vows.”

For the first time since the conversation began, Cadance smiled.  It was a wan smile, but considering the circumstances, Shining was willing to take whatever he could get.

“You really don’t care if I lose my mane and have an ugly scar where my horn used to be?” she asked.

“Nothing about you could ever be ugly,” Shining insisted.  He then began to quote a line from a poem that she had once recited for him on their anniversary after a particularly trying year.

You see my dear, love is more than beauty

and if you want to wear its crown,

Then you must be willing to wade the mire of life

You see… Love is brown

Cadance burst into fresh sobs.  It seemed like she had tapped into some reserves stored away within her somewhere.  At least she was smiling more.

“You knew I was going to agree to do it all along,” she teased Shining Armor gently.

“You’re the calm, cool, and collected one in this marriage.  I'm supposed to be the hothead,” Shining teased her back.  “I figured you to do what makes the most sense… you just needed to come to terms with what that was going to be.”  His soft magenta telekinetic field enclosed his wife's appointment card on the table and levitated it over.

“So when does it say I have to go in?” Cadance craned her neck to read the small print, but it was just out of her line of sight.

“Tuesday.”

“I’ll let them know I’m coming.”

The operation had been a success.  The horn had been removed, the chemotherapy had worked its magic, and everything was just hunky dory.  After a year Cadance was flying around, acting like a filly and claiming that she was as strong as a bull moose.  She even entered Ponyville’s annual Running of the Leaves with various ponies sponsoring her to raise money for horn cancer research.  She technically came in second to last, but when Rainbow Dash and Applejack helped her exhausted body cross the finish line (Rainbow’s wing somehow crossed the line slightly ahead of Cadance), everypony knew that it was the cause that really mattered and gave her a rousing ovation.

Eleven months after the race, Cadance and Shining Armor were surprised and blessed with the birth of a son, a healthy lavender unicorn colt who they named Dusk Shine after his aunt Twilight Sparkle.  Technically, it was a tradition in Shining’s family to name the fillies after a maternal relative, resulting in three generations of Twilights, After tabloid rumors that had surfaced regarding a possible relationship between Twilight Sparkle and one of the royal guards were debunked as false, Shining’s mother had almost given up on passing the Twilight name down to the next generation.  Dusk had been quite a surprise, however, and when it came time to give him a name, Cadance simply could not think of a better way to continue the tradition and honor her favorite filly to foalsit for.

Now, Shining Armor stood at Cadance’s grave site and glanced at six year old Dusk.  The colt bore a mask of stoicism, and it was difficult to tell how he was truly handling everything.

“Mom was sick,” Shining Armor said.

“I know,” Dusk said flatly.

“The doctors said he thinks that it was a chip from her horn that they missed. “

“I know,” Dusk repeated, drawing lines in the dirt with his hoof.

“It was like a blood clot that they couldn’t break up,” Shining went on.  “They called it a cerebral hemorrhage, but no matter what the medical term was, it was still her horn that did it to her.”

“Dad!” Dusk whined.  So much for stoicism.  “Why do you keep talking about it?”

“Because… I need you to know that it’s not your fault.  That and I need to come to grips with the fact that she’s gone.”  Shining blinked his eyes.

“Why do we have to leave the Crystal Empire?” Dusk asked.

“I got transferred to a unit out in Seaddle,” Shining replied.  “When Princess Celestia gives the Captain of the Guard an order, he obeys it.”

“Oh, okay.”

It wasn’t completely true.  Shining had asked Celestia for the transfer.  The Princess had attempted to gently dissuade him from such a course of action in a myriad of ways, but the decision had been made from the moment Cadance had passed away.  The empire was placed in the capable hooves of his sister Twilight, who up until that point had been a Princess without an empire of her own anyway.  If Blueblood was only a Prince because it was his name, Shining Armor was only a Prince because he had married Cadance.  He was still the Captain of the Guard, but he could do his duty from another part of Equestria.  One where he wouldn’t see Cadance reflected in every crystalline spire, and in the pitying looks on the faces of the crystal ponies.

“It rains nine months out of the year in Seaddle,” Dusk Shine said, snapping Shining out of his daydream.

“Really?  Where did you hear that?”

“Auntie Twilight gave me a book about it for my birthday,” Dusk announced.

“Of course she did,” Shining surmised, smiling slightly.  “That’s been her birthday gift of choice to me ever since she earned her cutie mark.”

“How come the pegasi in Seaddle don’t control the weather like they do here?” Dusk asked.

“Doesn’t your book explain that?” Shining questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“I haven’t gotten to that part yet, Dad,” Dusk protested.  The colt fixed his father with an impetuous stare that reminded Shining of Twilight at that age.

~ S S S S ~

Later that same year...

In Baltimare, another Hearths’ Warming celebration was coming to a close.  An amber unicorn mare with a flaming mane was cantering out of one of the larger homes on the block.  She had her hoof around a tan pegasus stallion with a blue mane.

“Flash Sentry, what did I tell you?  My parents simply loved you, my mother especially.”

“’Especially your mother,’ Sunset?” Flash needled her.  “What about your father?”

“Well, let me just say that he’s never liked any of my coltfriends, but he gave you—“ Sunset Shimmer paused for dramatic effect, “—the nod.”

“Ooh,” Flash replied facetiously,  “The nod.   I may as well start calling them mom and dad, then.”

“Mom would love that,” Sunset said, nodding as they approached their carriage.

Flash puffed out his chest, flared his wings, and struck a pose. “Today, I consider myself the luckiest stallion on the face of Equestria.”

Sunset Shimmer cocked an eyebrow.  “What’s that from?” she asked.  “You didn’t just make that up.”

“Oh, it was part of a famous speech,” Flash answered.  “Princess Twilight Sparkle’s coronation address, actually.”

Sunset Shimmer shuddered.  She didn't mean to, but like rolling her eyes, it was an involuntary reaction that ponies like her boss and Flash picked up on instantly.

“I saw that,” Flash said accusingly.  “You never did tell me what you have against the Princess.  I bumped into her once a few years ago, and she seemed nice.”

“It’s… complicated,” Sunset said laconically.  “It’s from a dark period in my life that I’d rather not dredge up.”

“Ah, academy days,” Flash said, nodding.  He helped her up into the carriage.  “I’ve got a few stories from my rookie days that if I told you, you’d never look at Flash Sentry the same way ever again.”

“They must be good if you’re referring to yourself in the third person,” Sunset joked.  “Care to spill the beans?”

“Hay, how did this become me telling you my secrets when you won’t tell me yours?” Flash asked with a devilish grin.

“Because you looooove me?” Sunset wheedled, batting her eyelashes seductively.

Flash sighed. That much was true.  Life was good.

“So I’ll meet you at your folks’ place tomorrow and we’ll do it all again?” Sunset asked as Flash stepped away from the carriage.

“You bet.  They’ll probably even dismiss us early due to the holiday,” the tan pegasus added.

“I can’t believe your boss is making you work tonight at all,” Sunset complained.

“Evil doesn’t take a break just because it’s a holiday,” Flash shrugged, “Or at least that’s what my old Captain used to say.”

“Whatever,” Sunset grumped. “As long as you’ll be there first thing.  I like your parents, but I’m a bit anxious about it being just the three of us for too long.”

“You’ll be fine,” Flash assured her.  “As the Plushie Pardner song goes, I’ll be home with bells on.”

“I never understood that phrase,” Sunset said, as she gave her fiancee one last peck on the cheek before her carriage departed.

“Be safe!” Flash called out to her.  "If you get tired, find one of those all night coffee shops, and pull the cart over."

"I've never fallen asleep on the road in my life," Sunset assured him.

~ S S S S ~

To pass the time on the lengthy trek home, Sunset listened to her portable radio.  She soon grew bored with what seemed to be the same songs repeated over and over ad nauseum.  There were only so many different variations of the traditional Hearths’ Warming Anthem, and she drew the line at one that sounded like it was being sung by cats in heat, changing the station in exasperation.

“Welcome to ‘You and Your Emotions,’” the mare’s voice on the radio announced in a soothing, almost seductive manner.   “I’m Dr. Vinyl Scratch, your host, broadcasting live from Canterlot.  How are you feeling this evening?”

“I’m feeling like changing the station,” Sunset said out loud, and she did.

“Up next,” a stallion’s voice droned in a manner that reminded Sunset of the teacher from Ferrous Mueller, “Public Radio Equestria brings you a six part documentary entitled ‘You and Your Spleen,’ hosted by Flim and Flam.”

“Hay no,” Sunset cursed, changing the station again.

Want a plane that loops the loop

Me, I want a hula hoop…

“Stupid rodents,” Sunset growled, hitting ‘seek’ on her radio dial.  The numbers went up and around the dial, and settled back on Dr. Scratch’s station, much to her dismay.

“Seaddle, go ahead,” the doctor said.

“My name’s Du-*bleeeeep*”

“No real names, Seaddle.  This is an anonymous call in show,” Dr. Scratch chided the caller.  “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m eight,” the youth on the line replied.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?  It’s rather late for somepony your age to be awake.”

“It’s still early in Seaddle.”

“Good point.  So what is your Hearth’s Warming wish, Seaddle?”

Sunset’s hoof had remained on the radio dial.  As much as she wanted to press the button to change it back to the music station (that infernal song had to be over by now), she found herself relaxing and withdrawing her hoof at the sound of this colt’s voice.

“It’s for my dad.  I think he needs a new wife,” the colt said.

“What’s wrong with his current wife?” Dr. Scratch asked jovially.

“She died two years ago,” the colt replied, glumly.

“Aw…” Sunset said,  “poor kid…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Dr. Scratch said.

“I mean, I miss her a whole lot, but I think my dad misses her even worse,” the colt said.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“It doesn’t help,” the colt said glumly.  “He doesn’t like it when I bring her up.  That’s why we moved out to Seaddle in the first place, because there’s nothing out here to remind him of her.”

“I see,” the doctor murmured, pondering the situation.  “Well, Seaddle, I think that I can help you and your dad out, but you need to listen to me.  Are you ready?”

“Okay,” the colt said.  Even through the radio, Sunset could feel the hopes of the eight year old rising.

“Now, what I need you to do is go and ask your dad if he’ll come and talk with me for a bit.”

“Don’t listen to her, Seaddle!” Sunset crowed at the radio.  “She’s a manipulative devil mare trying to get you in trouble!”

“No way!  He’ll get mad,” the colt squeaked.

“Seaddle, please trust me.  I’m a professional,” Dr. Scratch cooed.

“Fine, but if he grounds me for this, I’m never listening to your show again,” the colt threatened.

“That sounds like a fair deal,” Dr. Scratch said.

“Two bits says you just lost your youngest listener, ‘doctor,’” Sunset Shimmer smirked.

~ S S S S ~

“Dad?” Dusk Shine called out.

“What’s up?”  Shining Armor turned his attention away from the Daring Do book he was reading to look at his son.

“There’s someone who wants to speak to you.”

Shining gave an odd look to Dusk.  They’d already talked with Twilight and his parents.  Who would be trying to contact him today at this hour?  Probably a Kicker, he snorted.  That clan had a few ponies who were sticklers for protocol.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Dr. Vinyl Scratch from Air Equestria—“

“I’m not interested in buying anything tonight,” Shining interrupted.

“No, you don’t understand, I’m not selling anything—“

“I’m already registered to vote.”

“This isn’t about politics either.  Your son contacted me because he’s worried about you.  He thinks you need to find a new wife.”

Shining felt a sudden need to sit down.

“Does he, now?” he asked, looking in Dusk’s direction.  The colt’s muzzle was peeking over the top of the couch.

“Talk to her, dad.  She’s a doctor.  She knows about this stuff,” Dusk said, as he dropped back behind the couch, trying not to be seen.  Too bad he had already broken the most important rule when it came to not being seen:  don't stand up.

“How do I know that?  She could just be some DJ at the radio station with a day job playing the top forty and a night gig playing with ponies’ emotions,” Shining argued.

“Please, sir.  It’s his Hearth’s Warming Eve wish,” Dr. Scratch implored Shining.  The Royal Guard Captain sighed.

“Fine,” he said sullenly. He noticed Dusk’s face pop back up from behind the couch.  He mouthed the words “You’re grounded” to his son and watched as Dusk’s eyes went wide with recognition.

Shining Armor answered probing question after probing question from the radio shrink.  He told her about Cadance (although the station bleeped out her name), and how they had met as teenagers.  He was about to discuss the wedding, but the doctor reminded him that it might be seen as too specific for an anonymous program.

“The point is, your son wants you to be happy.  Have you dated anypony since your wife passed away?”

“No, and I wasn’t planning on it, either.”

“Why not?”

“Look, Doc,” Shining said with a sigh.  “How do you improve on perfection?  My wife, the mother of my son, was everything to us.  You can’t just replace that by going on a few dates.”

“Nopony expects that,” the doctor agreed, “but you understand that it’s hurting your son to see you like this, especially this time of year.”

“My wife did love Hearths’ Warming.  She and my sister… I don’t know how to explain it.  They just knew how to do it right.  Sis would come over, and they’d decorate.  Actually, the first thing they always used to do was this annoyingly silly little dance.  Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake…  I never thought I’d miss that.”

“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake, clap your hooves and do a little shake!” Dusk chanted from behind the couch.  Shining didn’t doubt that Dusk was doing the dance as well, even though he was well hidden.

“Apparently, she taught it to my son,” he deadpanned to the doctor.

“It sounds adorable,” Dr. Scratch said.

~ S S S S ~

Sunset Shimmer had to pull the carriage over for a coffee break.  She shot a glare at a highway sign that read “Take a break, stay awake for safety’s sake,” as she walked into the Duncan’s.  She was normally a Donut Joe mare, since Joe’s made a much better cup of his namesake fluid in her opinion.  On this particular stretch of highway however, Duncan Danish was all that was available.  Joe’s was more of a Canterlot franchise.  She shrugged.  It could be worse.  At least she didn’t have to put up with SparkleBucks like that caller from Seaddle likely had to.  That swill would strip wallpaper in the right concentration, and they made you pay through the nose for it on top of it all.

Sunset noticed that the two employees who should have been ready to take her order were instead hunched over the radio, as if they could will whatever dreamy pop singer they were drooling over to teleport out of it and land in front of them.

“So tell me a little more about your wife, Sleepless,” the voice from the radio said.

“Who’s Sleepless?” Sunset asked out loud.

“The kid on the radio said that his dad has been having trouble sleeping at night, so she nicknamed him Sleepless in Seaddle,” a messy maned university aged mare answered her without turning around.  "Dr. Vinyl does that so she can avoid having to call him by his real name, just in case he's some famous so-and-so like Prince Blueblood."

“Ah,” Sunset said, uncertainly.  Perhaps a trip to the little filly’s room wouldn’t hurt while I’m here, she thought as she cantered toward the far side of the donut shop.

“I bet he’s got a spectacular flank,” the young mare gushed.  “He sounds so dreamy.”

“Yeah, but then you’d be, like, a stepmom to an eight year old colt,” her co-worker argued.

“That’s what boarding schools are for,” the first mare said with a shrug.

“Seriously?  Attitudes like that are why Celestia and Luna, like, totally fancy themselves two princesses instead of queens,” the second muttered, rolling her eyes.

Sunset closed the door of the rest room behind her and trotted up to the mirror.  Scrutinizing herself, she came to the conclusion that she still looked rather fetching for a mare of her age.  Not that she was trying to attract a mate.  She was going to marry Flash Sentry, after all, and what could be better than that?  It was a nice thought that she could still turn a few stallions’ heads if she wanted to.  Even so, vanity forced her to search her reflection’s mane for gray hairs.  She had found one a month ago, and had immediately plucked it, despite Lightning Dust’s insistence that if she did that, two would grow in its place.

Sunset thought back to when she returned to Equestria from her self-imposed exile to what she called “the mirror world.”  She had slipped through the portal unnoticed, mentally chiding the Royal diarchy for not keeping track of the date.  Smug satisfaction rippled across her face, only to be replaced by regret and loneliness.  She slipped out of the Crystal Palace and took the first Canterlot Express train she could find, fully intent on turning herself in.

She made the mistake of napping on the train, however.  Or maybe it wasn’t a mistake, considering how it turned out.  It was really creepy how Princess Luna was able to enter a pony’s dreams like that.  Sunset shuddered a bit in spite of herself.  Luna cryptically told her that Canterlot was not where she needed to go if she truly wanted a fresh start.

“One day, the prodigal student will return to her teacher, and all will be forgiven, as we were once,” Luna had said in the dream.

"Yeah, and maybe I'll become an alicorn princess like Twilight Sparkle," Sunset scoffed to her reflection, satisfied that there were no gray or white hairs this time.

A fresh start for Sunset Shimmer meant not returning to Manehattan, where she had grown up.  Still, she wanted to at least be within carriage distance from her mom and dad, so after a brief stop in Fillydelphia, she ended up in Baltimare, taking a job with the local newspaper.  The irony of working for the Sun did not escape her, and it introduced her to one of the fastest copy editors on that side of Equestria.

“Lightning Dust, where would I be without you?” she wondered aloud.

~ S S S S ~

“So what’s she doing now?” Shining asked Dusk.

“It’s a commercial break.  Then she’s going to keep us on hold for a bit while she talks to a bunch of other ponies who dump all over what you just said,” Dusk replied.

“You know,” Shining reasoned, “in a way, this is actually kind of fun.”

They listened to somepony from Trottingham complaining about how her lover was the quintessential jerk, another caller from Salt Lick City who denounced all mares collectively, and a third from Ponyville who commented on how she wanted to hear more from Shining.  Or "Sleepless" as he was apparently known around the radio waves.

"Can I get his address?" she begged.

"No," Dr. Scratch said, "but If you would like to send a message to Sleepless or any of the guests on tonight's program, you may send them to me, Dr. Vinyl Scratch, care of Air Equestria.  Messages will be screened by our staff before being forwarded to their intended recipients."

"You gave her our address?" Shining asked.

"They don't let you one the show if you don't," Dusk admitted apologetically.

~ S S S S ~

Sunset Shimmer was back on the road, listening to “Sleepless” talk about his wife.

“Dr. Scratch, I’m not going to be able to go on much longer,” the stallion said.  “My son…”

“Seaddle?”

“Yes… er… Seaddle kind of fell asleep on me.  On my right foreleg, to be precise, and now that’s falling asleep on me too.”

Sunset chuckled at the image of a stallion falling asleep with his colt cradled in his arm.  She tried to imagine that stallion being Flash, but for some reason, her mind wandered to others, like Soarin from the Wonderbolts, Hoity Toity (although everypony knew his barn door didn’t swing that way), or even Prince Blueblood, the mere thought of whom made her ill.

“I understand, Sleepless,” Dr. Scratch said.  Sunset pictured her sitting at a desk with her hooves together forming a pyramid shape.  She hated when her boss did that.  It was so condescending.  “Do you have time for, a couple more quick questions?”

“I guess so, if they’re quick.”

“Do you think there’s any chance, albeit a small one, that you could ever find it in your heart to love somepony else?”

“I doubt it.  When we met, it was so clear.  She was the most beautiful, kind, amazing pony I’d ever seen.  I was kind of a geek at the time, so I never thought I had a shot, but when she said yes, it was like she made everything bad in the world go away.  She made me believe that I could do anything, and in a way, I kind of did, thanks to her.”

Sunset found herself picturing Snips and Snails, from her own high school days.  She couldn’t imagine the mare she was back then stooping so low as to date either of them.  She wondered what they were up to now, so many years later.  Hay, they probably were completely different ponies on this side of the mirror anyway.  She pulled into her fiancee’s parents’ driveway and parked her carriage, needing to hear the end of the program before going indoors.

“You know, you can listen to that inside,” a familiar voice said to her, just as she was getting comfortable.  Sunset jumped with a squeak of surprise.

“Flash?” Sunset asked incredulously.  “How did you beat me here?”

“When I got to work, I told my supervisor about our little announcement, and he sent me home,” Flash grinned.

“He wasn’t mad?” Sunset wondered warily.

“No, ma’am,” Flash said.  “He was all ‘Let me get this straight?  It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve, you just proposed to your fillyfriend, and then you come in to work?  Go home, Flash Sentry, before I transfer your flank to Stalliongrad for being a complete idiot.”

“He did not,” Sunset laughed.

“You’ve met the Leftenant,” Flash said, stressing his commander's rank as if that answered everything.

“I have, and he’s right.”

“That I’m an idiot?”

“That we should be together on Hearth’s Warming.  I’m so glad to see you,”  Sunset smiled, embracing Flash tenderly as it began to snow gently.

~ S S S S ~

Lightning Dust looked at Sunset Shimmer with bemused expression and shook her head. “So what you’re telling me is that this guy calls up a radio station—“

“His son called, actually,” Sunset interjected.

“Whatever. Tomato, tomahto.   The point is that thousands of desperate mares are now begging for his address,” Lightning Dust complained.  He could be a real creep, you know.”

“He sounded nice,” Sunset argued.  “He was married, and his wife passed away.  It’s not like he went back to live in his parents’ basement.”

“The guy could be a poison joke addict, a psychopath, or somepony strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly.  Or,” the mint coated pegasus continued, “he could be a real sick loser, like Hoops.  You know… you should write something about this.  Ink Blot’ll eat it up.”

"I'm not sure about this, Dusty," Sunset waffled.

“Seriously, check this out,” Lightning Dust said.  “This colt named Featherweight writing for this little Podunk newspaper called the Foal Free Press puts out an article about this, scooping every other newspaper, including ours.  You need to get in on this.  It’s an international phenomenon.  Ask Ink Blot to send you to Seaddle to cover this story.  He’d totally do it.”

“No, just no,” Sunset interjected, not wanting to hear the sort of lascivious activities her best friend could “pull strings and arrange” for her.

~ S S S S ~

“What the hay is this?” Shining Armor asked, staring at the overflowing sack of mail on his stoop.

“I don’t read ‘em, I just drop ‘em off, buddy,” the letter carrier drawled.  “The boss said you can just leave the sack outside tomorrow and I’ll pick it up then.  Ya know, to give ya time to sort through ‘em and all.”

“But I don’t want them,” Shining whined.

“Then burn ‘em, recycle ‘em.  I don’t care.  Like I said, just leave the bag out here tomorrow.”  Putting two and two together, the letter carrier paused.  “By the way, not that you asked for my advice or nothin’, but if you’re having trouble sleeping, my trick’s always been a shot of Mama Trotter’s before bed time.  Works like a charm.”

Dusk Shine trotted up.  Levitating one of the envelopes with his telekinesis, he squinted as he read the poor penmareship on the front.  “Sleepless and Seaddle.  Is this for us?  Can I read it, dad?”

“Have a ball,” Shining answered tersely.  “Actually, since this was your idea, I expect you to read at least half of them.  Call it homework.”

“Cool,” Dusk said, unfazed by the negative reaction from his father.  He tore the envelope open.  “I don’t think I like this one.”

“Why?  Let me see.” Shining gently took the letter in his own levitation field.  “I’m not surprised.  She sounds like my old schoolmarm.”

“She sent a photograph,” Dusk said, holding the image up.

“Celestia’s beard, she is my old schoolmarm.  Do not want,” Dusk shuddered.  “She’s also living in Detrot now.  Do you know where that is?”

“Somewhere back east?”

“Somewhere back east.  Yet another testament to the Equestria education system,” Shining said dryly, scampering to his office and pulling out a map of Equestria from his desk.  He laid it out for Dusk to see.  “Where are we?” he prompted.

“Here,” Dusk pointed to where Seaddle was located.

“And Detrot?”

“Um…” Dusk scanned the map’s surface trying to pinpoint the city.  “There!” he shouted with glee upon finding it.

“Very good,” Shining said, as if addressing a new recruit.  “So tell me now… besides all that I’ve previously mentioned, what else is wrong with this particular letter?”

“She’s pretty far away, I guess,” Dusk said, looking up at his father with baleful eyes.

“I just think it behooves all parties involved if we were to limit any responses to that show to within this radius.”  He drew a small circle around Seaddle.

“That doesn’t even include Cortland, dad,” Dusk argued.

“No Cortland, No Las Pegasus, Not even Vanhoover,” Shining insisted.  “Trust me, Dusk, it will be a lot easier this way.  Besides, a few months from now, this whole thing will have blown over anyway.”

“I guess so,” Dusk pouted.

“Now help me sort these into piles of ‘good’ and ‘bad.’  Are we agreed on ‘bad?’”

“Mares who live outside of Seaddle and look like your old schoolmarm,” Dusk recited.

“Exactly,” Shining said, then reconsidered.  “Wait a sec…”

~ S S S S ~

“I’ve been considering starting to date again,” Shining Armor informed Vigilance, a brown earth pony guard with a police badge for a cutie mark.

“Oh, really?  Shiny the Celibate is putting himself back on the market?” Vigilance teased.

“Well, Dusk could really use a mom,” Shining said, shrugging.

“That’s never been a good reason to marry somepony,” Vigilance chided him.  “It’s like all of these marriages that stay together ‘for the sake of the kids.’  They never end well,”

“I’m not asking anypony to marry me, Vigilance, and it’s not like I was asking you to set me up with any of them either.  All I said was that I was thinking about dating.  Maybe it’s not a good idea after all,” Shining grumbled.

“Whoa, now,” Vigilance blinked his purple eyes.  “I’m only rustling your jimmies a bit, buddy.  When’s the last time you dated anypony besides your wife, anyway?”

Shining counted the years.  “Um… high school,” he admitted.

“Cheese and rice, it’s been that long?  Times have changed, my friend.  Uncle Vigilance is gonna teach you a few things about the modern mare.”  Vigilance jabbed Shining in the ribs playfully.

“I’m two years older than you,” Shining muttered.

“And you’re acting like a Gloomy Gus,” the brown guard shot back.  “It isn’t like it used to be, where you get to act like some fairy tale romantic prince and all of those horseapples.  Mares don’t give a flying feather about that stuff anymore.  The best part is:  you can make them pay for their dinner.  There’s a saying:  pagar a la Caballeria.”

“That’s an old saying,” Shining said wistfully.  “Cadance tried it on me the first time we dated.  It didn’t work then, either.”

“Well, you’re not looking for another Cadance, are you?  So let the mare pay,” Vigilance countered.

“This is going to be tougher than I thought,” Shining groaned.

“Here, I got an idea,” Vigilance said.  “I know you said you didn’t want me to set you up, but there’s somepony I know who’s been asking about you.  She’s cute, smart, funny, and if you don’t like her, you can be honest and just tell her and she won’t bat an eyelash.”

“Fine.  What’s her name?”

“Blueberry Cake.”

~ S S S S ~

“I’ve been thinking,” Flash Sentry said quietly, his foreleg around Sunset Shimmer.

“I thought I recognized that smell,” Sunset joked.

Flash smiled, and continued.  “I’ve got this conference to go to up in Lemonstar in a couple of months, and then another meeting in Hart Ford.  What do you say to the proposition that on my way back, we meet up in Manehattan for Hearts and Hooves Day?  We could take a walk in Corona Park, and I hear Octavia’s supposed to be giving a solo concert at Carneighgie Hall.”

“Octavia?  Really?”  Sunset's eyes lit up.

“Should I take that as a yes?” Flash asked, smirking.

~ S S S S ~

Shining opened the door to Dusk’s room and peeked around.  Why wasn't Dusk answering when he called for him?

“Dusk, are you in here?” he called.  Still no answer.  He was about to leave, when his eyes focused on the oversized chair in the center of the room.  He noticed two different pairs of hooves underneath it.  The lavender pair shimmied a bit, rotating the chair to face him.  Dusk sat next to an apricot coated filly with a blonde mane.

“Hi dad,” the lavender colt greeted him.  “This is Cacophony. “  The filly waved politely.  She revealed one of her wings as she did this, and Shining could not help but notice that she was a… batpony?  He had never asked what the politically correct term was for members of Luna’s Royal Guard.  Were they pegasi? Thestrals?  His unit had a nickname for them, “Knaves from the Caves,” but he wasn’t sure if that was derogatory or not, so he had avoided using it himself.

“Nice to meet you, Cacophony,” Shining stated, not knowing what else to say.

Dusk levitated a copy of Floydian Slip’s “Dark Side of Luna” in front of Shining, as well as a movie featuring a filly, two golems, a lion, and a yappy little dog.  “Cacophony suggested that we listen to this while watching this movie.  It’s supposed to be epic.”

“It… is.”

“You’ve seen it?” Dusk wondered.

“Yeah, my buddies and I watched it that way at West Hoof,” Shining explained.

“Ok, then we’re totally gonna do it.  You mind closing the door?” Dusk asked.

“Um… yeah, sure,” Shining said turning to leave.  "Dinner's in half an hour," he added.

“Nice meeting you, Captain Armor,” Cacophony said as she rotated the chair to face away from the doorway once again.

“Call me Shining,” Shining said awkwardly.  He started to close the door behind him, and then stopped himself.  Dusk was only eight.  So what if he had a filly who happened to be a friend?  They probably weren’t old enough to worry about some things yet.  On the other hoof, there were still plenty of other shenanigans that a pair of youths could get into behind a closed door regardless of gender while they claimed to be watching a movie.  The door remained open.  Shining resolved to find a tactful and politically correct way to ask somepony the Lunar Guard question.

~ S S S S ~

“Where’d you get this wine, Dusty?” Sunset Shimmer asked her friend, holding up a blue bottle with a pepper emblazoned on it.

“I order it from a place in Ponyville,” Lightning Dust said.  “A friend I made at the Academy recommended it to me.  It’s got a better kick than that namby pamby cider that they usually serve in that Podunk town.”

“I never took you to be a wine drinker, that’s all,” Sunset explained.

“I wasn’t, but this stuff’s special, trust me,” Lightning Dust continued, pouring herself a glass.  “Want some?” she casually offered.  Sunset recognized the crafty look on the sea green pegasus’ face well enough not to trust her.  Her friend was up to something.

“I’ll try a sip, thank you.”  Sunset raised the glass to her lips. The taste was sweet, a bit too grapey for her.  Then the pepper kicked in.  “Sweet Celestia,” she gasped.

“That’s the usual reaction,” Lightning Dust chuckled.  “Good stuff, am I right or am I right?”

“I’ve… never tasted anything quite like it before,” Sunset confirmed.  “If there was a wine that had Lightning Dust written all over it, this would be it.”

“So what’s up with you and Flash?  Are you getting cold hooves or something?” Lightning Dust asked.

“No,” Sunset denied.  “I love Flash Sentry.  Life is… good.”

“You almost had me convinced there for a moment,” Lightning Dust snarked.

“We’re fine.  He’s taking me to see Octavia on Hearts and Hooves Day,” Sunset reminded her.

“Oh, Flash is wonderful, trust me, I could stare at that flank all day.  It’s you I’m concerned about, my friend.” Lightning Dust took a rather large unrefined gulp of her wine.  “You gonna want any more of this?  Because if it’s just me, I won’t even bother using the glass…”

“No thank you,” Sunset shuddered.

“Suit yourself.  Na zdrowie!”  Lightning Dust tipped the bottle back.

“Remind me of why we’re friends again?” Sunset teased.

“Because I’m awesome, and you’re… getting there yourself,” came the expected reply.  “I keep you grounded… if you had your head in the clouds any more than you do, you’d be a pegasus like me instead of a unicorn.  You know what your problem is?”

Sunset considered the question.  “Every time I come close to having everything I’ve ever wanted, I screw it up and run away?”

“Overall… yeah.  But you haven’t run away from me, and Celestia knows that my sheer perfection tends to drive other ponies away.”

Sunset rummaged through Lightning Dust’s fridge, searching for something to drink other than the fiery wine.  “I’m not sure if that’s me so much as you not leaving me alone.  Oh, good, you do have some Sweet Apple Cider.  I was beginning to think that you were holding out on me.”  She popped the cork off the bottle and took a long pull.

“It must belong to Hoops.  I hate that stuff,” Lightning Dust grimaced.  “But like we just agreed on, you're a runner. Now that you’re getting close to committing to Flash, you’re thinking that the grass is greener elsewhere, so you're looking for somepony new to start grazing with.  You want some sort of fairy tale, where the stallion comes in and sweeps you off of your hooves.”

“What’s so wrong with wanting that?” Sunset demanded tersely.

“It’s not real life,” Lightning Dust said.  “That’s why the divorce rate is so high.  Nopony stays together anymore.”

“Sleepless and his wife did.”

“Yeah, and then she croaked.  Now he’s probably out looking to bang anypony he can get his hooves on.”  Lightning Dust looked bleary-eyed at the empty bottle in her hoof.

“I just want to meet him.  There’s nothing wrong with meeting somepony,” Sunset argued.

“Then write the letter.  I could have had it done in half the time we’ve spent yakking about it.”

“Fine, I will,” Sunset said impudently.  “Dear Sleepless in Seaddle, I’m not usually the type to listen to sappy radio programs, but—“

“Everypony and their sister is going to write that.  Come on, Shimmy.  Be original for once in your life.”

“I would like to meet you at… what’s a good Manehattan landmark to meet at?  The statue?”  Sunset ransacked her brain, trying to figure out a location.

“You’re the one who wants to be in love like they are in the movies.  Who goes to the statue to meet anypony?”

“It worked in ‘Hitched,’ didn’t it?”

“Were you watching the same movie as I was?  That part was a disaster.”

“Well, I think I’m going to put it down anyway,” Sunset affirmed.  “Meet me in the torch of the Statue in Manehattan on Hearts and Hooves Day.  I’ll be there meeting Flash anyway.  It’ll be a quick thing.  Sleepless and I will meet, and then I’ll have gotten the pre-wedding jitters out of my system.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Flash’s bachelor party will work the ‘jitters’ out of his system when the time comes as well,” Lightning Dust quipped.  “I told you about what happened with Hoops at the gentlecolts’ club, didn’t I?”

“Flash wouldn’t do anything like that,” Sunset said.

“He’s a stallion.  They all do things like that,” Lightning Dust countered.  “I suppose part of it was my fault for bringing him to the club for his birthday in the first place, but can you blame me for occasionally wanting to see a mare dancing around a pole wearing socks?”

“I’ve never understood your obsession with socks, Dusty,” Sunset said, shaking her head.

“Some mares buy lots of expensive horseshoes.  I prefer socks.  Sue me,” Lightning Dust shrugged indifferently.  “They make a mare’s fetlocks look nice, and really accent her haunches if they’re the high riding kind—“ She saw Sunset’s muzzle scrunch up uncomfortably.  “Hay, you asked…”

~ S S S S ~

Dusk Shine could see his parents ahead of him, smiling and laughing.  He galloped toward them, but as hard as he pushed himself, he made no progress.  He must have passed by that mirror at least three times already.  What was so special about it anyway?  He glanced at it as he started to pass it for the fourth time. He saw himself, a lavender unicorn colt with a short cropped blue mane in a military style, with a few blonde, magenta, and purple streaks.  His reflection turned and pointed a hoof in the direction of his parents.  Dusk looked, and they were no longer there.  He turned back to the mirror to find that it was no longer there either.  The path beneath his hooves?  Gone.  Was he floating or falling?  It was unnatural, that was for sure.

Dusk looked around frantically, trying to find some landmark, anything to give him some semblance of an idea where he was, but all he could see was an endless gray.  Then an eye opened in front of him, a large, white bloodshot orb with a golden iris.  It was just floating there.  Other eyes popped open around him, mostly equine, but he recognized one belonging to a zebra and another that looked like it was a griffon’s.  They stared at him intently, and started to swarm around him.  That’s when they started turning into spiders and insects, one by one.  He could feel the scurry of arachnid feet as they crept up his fetlocks, gnashing their mandibles dripping with poisonous ichor.  An invisible force kept Dusk’s eyes wide open as a pair of centipedes crawled over them as if they were a pair of tasty seeds.  He clenched his jaw, but he felt something trying to force its way in, jabbing either a needle sharp leg or a stinger at his tongue.  His instincts told him that bugs consider tongue to be a delicacy…

“DAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!”

  Shining Armor galloped down the hall into his son’s bedroom.  Dusk was bawling, his pajamas soaked through.

“Bugs?” he asked.  Dusk nodded.  It was the second time this week.  Shining made a mental note to keep an eye on what Dusk was reading.

“I… I try to be brave, like you, but they start e-eating me, like in the poem,” Dusk snuffled.

“What poem?” Shining asked, his left eyebrow raised skeptically.  Some of the works of Edgar Allen Pony and Shelley Silverspeak were rather morbid at times.

“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…” Dusk mumbled timidly.

Shining had to suppress a chuckle due to the seriousness of the situation.   The poem certainly fell into the darker classification of poems.  He pondered how innocuous it seemed on the surface, when in reality it had the ability to induce nightmares such as the one Dusk had just woken from.

“You and Mommy were there,” Dusk said.  The look in his eyes was almost accusing, as if Shining had failed him somehow.  “You kept walking away, and I couldn’t catch up.  I couldn’t even see Mommy’s face.  It’s like I’m forgetting what she looked like.

“Didn’t she used to sing to you after nightmares?” Shining prompted. “That always used to help.”

“Yeah, we’d sing it together,” Dusk said.  The beginnings of a hopeful smile started to blossom on his young face.  “Can we…?”

“Sure thing, Dusk.  Do I start or do you?”

“You do.”

“Alright… here goes.”  Shining cleared his throat.   “Mock.”

“Yeah.”

“Ing.“

“Yeah.”

“Bird.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, yeah…”

Father and son sang the song, switching off, each giving the other a chance to sing the harmony and the melody.  When they finished, Dusk’s nightmare was practically forgotten.  Except…

“Dad, do you believe in an afterlife?”

Shining thought about it.  “I never used to,” he admitted. “Then when your mom got sick the first time, Auntie Twily talked to me about something that she had experienced when she first became a princess.  She was in a strange place, not light, but not dark, either.  Kind of in between.  She said that Princess Celestia appeared there, and suddenly she was surrounded by all of these images from her past.  I guess you could say that they were like ghosts, but they were the friendly kind, because she told me that she just knew she had no reason to be afraid there.”

“What did they look like?” Dusk asked, his eyes filled with interest.

“She said most of them were memories of her time spent in Ponyville, but she also saw your Grandpa Night Light and Grandma Velvet.  I think she said that she even saw your Great Grandma Twinkle.”

“What did they want?” Dusk asked.  “They weren’t zomponies after her brains, were they?”

“No,” Shining Armor smiled.  “They were friendly, and they all told her how proud they were of her, and how she’d come such a long way from when she was a little filly.  The thing is, a lot of the ponies there were still alive here, so she didn’t understand how it was possible.  If that’s what the afterlife is made of, though, it doesn’t sound like it’s something to be afraid of, and I’m sure your mom is happy there, because somehow, some way, we’re there with her.”

“I don’t feel like I’m there with her,” Dusk pouted.

“Well, I know that she’s here with us… right here,” he put his hoof over his heart, “and right here.”  He booped Dusk on the nose.  “As long as we have each other, we still have your mom.”

“OK.”

~ S S S S ~

“You know, statistics say that it’s easier to get replaced by a changeling that it is for a single mare to find love at your age,” Detective Wheaton said.

“That’s a bunch of horseapples.  Nopony believes that dreck,” Sunset shimmer snapped.

“So why do you want me to tail this guy again?  He cheating on you?” the detective casually puffed on his cigar.

“Yes.  No, not exactly.  It’s my sister.  She was on some radio show and ended up meeting some stallion halfway across Equestria, and I want to make sure that she’s not falling for some poison joke smoking psycho,” Sunset explained.

“So says the mare asking a gumshoe to stalk him for her,” Wheaton snickered.

“Will you do it or not?” Sunset demanded, losing what little patience she had.

“You’re paying for it, and you’re not asking for anything more than a couple of pictures anyway.  Are you sure about that?  I got some friends in the Guard in Seaddle who could—“

“I’m sure.  Thank you.”

“You must really love your… erm… sister.”

“Yeah.  I must.”

~ S S S S ~

Shining scrambled around his room, trying on various outfits, while Dusk Shine watched.  Actually, Dusk was only partially paying attention to his father, as he had become engrossed in a letter.

“So what do you think about me wearing my guard uniform.  Full regalia?” Shining asked.

“Too flashy,” Dusk gave him a hooves down.

“What about this?” Shining held up a sweater vest that had seen better days.

“Dad, it’s got ink splashed on it,” Dusk pointed at the pocket.

“Yeah you’re right.  Looks like I didn’t have my pocket protector on me that day.  What about this? She likes yellow,” Shining said, holding up what appeared to be a jazzercise outfit.

“Be serious, dad,” Dusk moaned.  The lavender colt went back to the letter.  “Dad, you should read this.  She sounds neat.”

“Maybe later, right now I have to meet somepony for dinner.”

“Blueberry Cake,” Dusk spat.  “She sounds like a whorse.”

“Watch your language, mister,” Shining threatened.  “You’ve never even met her.  Hay, I’ve never met her.  Besides, it’s just dinner, it’s not like I’m asking her to move in or anything.”

“I know.  Sorry, dad,” Dusk grumbled.

Shining settled on a blue blazer with a sporty red tie.  Dusk examined it, but failed to see anything wrong with the outfit.  It made his dad look a bit like the owner of a bargain basement store instead of a Royal Guard, but maybe that was a good thing.

“Be good for the sitter,” Shining instructed Dusk as he prepared to leave.

The doorbell rang.

“That should be her,” Shining said.  Sure enough, a bespectacled teenage filly in a schoolgirl uniform trotted in.

“Thank you for calling on me,” the filly smiled.  She waved to the lavender colt and smiled a saccharine smile.  “Hi Dusky!  I brought some more of those comi- that is, books that you like to read.”

“Just like his Auntie,” Shining laughed.  Dusk rolled his eyes.  “I’ll be back around ten.  Make sure he’s in bed before then.”

“No problem.”

The moment Shining Armor’s hoofbeats were out of earshot, the filly’s eyes narrowed and her grin intensified wickedly.  She withdrew a pair of graphic novels from her saddlebag.

“Like I said, puddin’, I brought some of the best,” she smirked.  “Wanna see the one where Mr. J offs Bird Boy?”

Dusk beamed.  “Would I ever!”  Sometimes, having a little scary fun was worth the inevitable nightmare later.

~ S S S S ~

“Hi!  I’m Blueberry Cake,” the blue earth pony smiled cheerfully.

Shining Armor did a double take.  The mare in front of him could have been the twin sister of Pinkie Pie.  The resemblance was uncanny.  Shining snuck a peek at her flank to see what her cutie mark looked like.  He was relieved to see that it was indeed a slice of cake, and not a set of three balloons.

“Like what you see?” Blueberry Cake asked coyly.  “Should I have worn socks?”

“Sorry,” Shining blushed.  “You remind me of somepony I know from Ponyville.  You don’t happen to have any relatives there, do you?”

“I do, actually.  I used to live there before I came to Seaddle for college,” Blueberry Cake replied.  “I have a cousin who works at—“

“Sugar Cube Corner?” Shining interrupted.

“How did you know?” Blueberry Cake asked, her eyes wide in fascination.

“Call it a hunch,” Shining chuckled lightly.  He took a sip of his alfalfa margarita.  “Small world, isn’t it?”

“I’ll say.  How do you know my cousin Carrot Cake?” Blueberry asked.

“C-carrot Cake?” Shining stammered, choking on his drink.

“Yeah, my cousin Carrot … he still owns Sugar Cube Corner, doesn’t he?  I haven’t seen him since I moved out here, but he always writes a little something in the Hearth’s Warming cards that he sends.  Pound and Pumpkin have sure grown up.  Are you okay?”  Blueberry Cake was looking at him with a touch of concern.

“No.  I mean yes, I’m fine,” Shining said, recovering.  He cleared his throat.  “I thought you might be related to Pinkie Pie.”

“Who?”

“Pinkamena Diane Pie?  Pink coat and mane, loves to party?”

“Doesn’t ring any bells.  I’m not related to any Pies that I know of, although my second cousin twice removed married a Danish stallion from Manehattan.  Say, this Pinkie isn’t an ex-girlfriend, is she?”  the blue mare’s eyes narrowed accusingly.

Shining Armor’s eyes went wide.

“No!” he shouted, startling the blue mare.  He glanced around noticing the unwanted attention that his outburst had drawn.  “I mean, no.  You just… look a little bit like her, that’s all.”

“It sounds like the two of you have some kind of history, though,” Blueberry Cake needled him.  “Come on, spill it.”

“She’s a friend of my sister,” Shining explained.  “She’s a really big deal these days in Ponyville, being an Element of Harmony and all.”

“Who?” Blueberry Cake asked, “Your sister or this Pinkie Pie?”

“Both,” Shining Armor said.  “Twilight is the Element of Magic, and Pinkie Pie is the Element of Laughter.  They… save Equestria a lot.”

“I thought that was your job,” Blueberry Cake teased.

“It was.  It is,” Shining Armor corrected himself.  He looked at the mare sitting across the table, and pictured her as the pink party pony who had given Cadance’s eulogy. Her mane had been straight that day, to nopony’s surprise.  You could always tell when Pinkie Pie was sad by whether her mane was straight or poofy.

“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was one of my bestest friends,” Pinkie said in between sniffles. She blew her nose, honking loudly.  She produced a letter from somewhere, and waved it before everypony in attendance.

“She asked me in this letter to say something here to make everypony feel better, and I’m gonna try, but it’s…” Pinkie sniffed. “It says ‘Dear Pinkie, I hope that it isn’t too much to ask you to make our friends smile during and after my funeral.  Just be yourself and throw a big party or something for me.  Balloons, streamers, confetti, the whole nine furlongs.  Don’t mourn my death.  Celebrate my life.  Pinkie Promise me that you’ll be there to make everypony happy. Love, Cadance.’  So I hope that what I’m about to do doesn’t offend anypony, because I’m only acting on Princess Cadance’s orders.”

Her hair suddenly sprung to life, the magenta curls exploding into existence again.  Pinkie Pie then let loose a string of balloons (from where, Shining was unable to figure out) that floated up into the sky.  Twenty one party cannons strategically placed around the cemetery blasted out streamers and confetti, and Pinkie began to dance around, doing the Shuffle that she had done with Cadance at the wedding, her eyes shut as she did.  Halfway across the lawn, she peeked out with one eye to see if anypony was joining her…

“Shining Armor!” Blueberry Cake was waving a hoof in front of his face.

“Um…?” the white stallion said.  It might have been a question.

“I was asking you if you liked to dance.  They’re playing that new groove by Justa Timberwolf.”

“Oh, yeah.  We can dance if you want to.”

“Good.  My last coltfriend hated to dance… and now he’s no coltfriend of mine,” she laughed, a little too enthusiastically.

Shining Armor wasn’t sure that he understood what was so funny about that, but he danced anyway.  He couldn’t even understand the words the artist was “singing.”  Blueberry Cake seemed to make them up as she went along.  They were mostly a myriad of solfège syllables, la-ti-das, and doo-be-doos.  It was rather charming.  Sort of.

~ S S S S ~

“This is what I was able to get,” Wheaton passed the photographs to Sunset Shimmer.

“That’s it?” the fiery haired unicorn growled.

“What did you expect?” the detective shot back.

“Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fine specimen of a stallion, although he kind of looks like a used cart salespony in these.  But they’re monochrome.”

“Color prints cost extra,” the detective sneered.

“You didn’t even get his date in the picture,” Sunset barked.

“I thought you said he was dating your sister,” the detective said, nonplussed.

“How am I supposed to know whether he was cheating on her or not if I don’t know what she looks like?” Sunset howled.

“Look, the mare was lavender with a blue mane.  Or was she blue with a lavender mane?  Was it a darker purple?  Maybe it was a light blue.  Or a royal blue.  I can tell you she was definitely an earth pony.  Does that sound like your sister?”  He puffed on his cigar.

“Um, yeah, sure, whatever.  It doesn’t matter.  I know what he looks like now, at least, so thank you.  You did your job,” Sunset Shimmer dismissed him.

“What about my pay?”

“I paid you up front.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.  You can’t blame a stallion for forgetting sometimes.”

“When he’s a private detective, I can.”

“Ouch. Burned by the fiery maned mare.”

"I didn't get to become Princess Celestia's student and run Canterlot High by being an idiot," Sunset muttered quietly once she was certain he was out of earshot.  A purple and blue Earth pony should be easy enough to recognize, she decided.

~ S S S S ~

“Blueberry Cake, thank you so much for this delectable meal,” Shining said.  “Dusk, do you have something to say to Blueberry Cake?”

“Thank you, Blueberry Cake,” Dusk said in a monotone.  “Your cooking skills leave me speechless.  I’ve never known anypony who makes a daffodil sandwich the way you did tonight.  Especially since it's the third time this week.”  Dusk excused himself from the dinner table by flashing the biggest, toothiest, creepiest fake smile that he could muster.

“He’s… eight years old,” Shining said, by way of explanation and apology.

“He’s good at it,” Blueberry Cake snarked.  “Say, would you mind walking me over to the airport tomorrow?  I’m supposed to be catching a dirigible to Ponyville.  There’s a baking convention there, and I figured it would also be a chance to see Cousin Carrot Cake, his wife, and the twins.  Maybe I’ll have a few words with your ex while I’m there.”

“My… what?” Shining sputtered.

“That Pinkie Pie you mentioned,” Blueberry Cake laughed.

“I thought I told you that she’s a friend of my sister’s.  We never even met before my wedding,” Shining pleaded.

“Oh, you are just so cute when you’re flustered,” the purple maned baker pinched Shining’s cheeks.  “Tell you what, I might stop at Carousel Boutique while I’m there.  Maybe I could pick up a little something to wear that you’d like.  You know, for some evening when it’s just the two of us.”  She winked suggestively.

“Um… ok.  If that’s what you want.”

~ S S S S ~

*tap*

Sunset Shimmer was snoring.

*tap*

She was dreaming of white forelegs around her, caressing her mane gently, yet strong enough to—

*tap*

The white coat turned tan.  Flash was there for her.  Her knight in shining—

*tap*

Sunset was awake now.  She wiped a dribble of drool from her muzzle and went to her window, throwing up the sash.

“Lightning Dust?  What are you doing out there?” she hissed, popping her head out.

“Turn on your radio,” the sea green pegasus ordered her.

Sunset withdrew her head to go downstairs.

“And let me in while you’re at it!” Lightning Dust called.

“Who dat?” a sleepy voice mumbled into his pillow.

“It’s just Lightning Dust, Flash.  She’s having problems with Hoops again and needs to cry on somepony’s withers,” Sunset grunted.

“M’kay.  Tell her I said Hzzzzzzzz…” Flash Sentry drifted back to sleep.

“I’ll make sure I do,” Sunset snarked.  She scampered down the stairs as quietly as she could and let Lightning Dust inside the house.

“Where’s your radio?  Now you got me listening to this schlock,” her editor said.

“What are we listening to?” Sunset whispered.

“It’s the kid.  Seaddle.  He’s back,” Lightning Dust fiddled with the radio dial.

“**KsHhHk**a complete disaster!” the pair heard Seaddle’s voice coming over the air.  “I wanted him to find a wife, but not this one.  Anypony but her .”

“Now Seaddle, calm down—“ the doctor tried to settle the young colt’s mind, but was interrupted.

“Calm down?  She’s been here almost every day this week.  I think tonight they’re gonna have a sleepover or something,” Seaddle said, his voice quivering, whether in fear or rage, Sunset found it difficult to tell.

“Seaddle, it’s only natural for your father to begin dating again,” Dr. Scratch assured him.  “Besides, shouldn’t he be the one to judge whether somepony is would be right or wrong for him?”

“She’s a succubus, a demon spawn from the lower levels of Tartarus,” Dusk frantically spouted.

“I think that’s rather extreme, Seaddle,” Dr. Scratch cautioned.  “We should—“

“It’s not the first time something like this has happened, either,” Dusk cried.  “She’s a whorse!  My dad’s been captured by a life sucking whorse!”

Lightning Dust and Sunset Shimmer looked at each other speechless.  Sunset tried to remember a time since she’d known the sea green pegasus mare in which such a thing had ever happened.

“Luna’s *bleep*, she’s about to kiss him!  She’s got her muzzle open and everything.  I have to stop this.”

“Seaddle, you can’t say *bleep* on the air… oh *bleep,* my producers are going to have a fit if I didn’t catch that in time,” the doctor said.

“Go Seaddle!” Lightning Dust cheered softly.

Suddenly there was a change on the air.

“Seaddle?  Seaddle?  It looks like we lost him.  See if you can get him back, and in the meantime, cut to commercial,” Dr. Scratch urged her crew at the station.

“Well, that was fun,” Lightning Dust grinned.

“What just happened?” Sunset Shimmer asked, confused.

“I think your coltfriend’s son just got himself grounded,” Lightning Dust said succinctly.

~ S S S S ~

Shining Armor, Dusk Shine, and Blueberry Cake stood next to a hot air balloon, the pilot making preparations for takeoff.

“So, Dusk, would you like me to bring you anything back from Ponyville?” She asked sweetly.

“I heard you saying that you’re going to Carousel Boutique.  You’re not going to bring me clothes, are you?” the colt asked dubiously.  “I got enough of those for Hearth’s Warming,” he muttered softly, but just loud enough to make sure he was heard.

“Of course not, sweetie,” Blueberry Cake said, her teeth clenched in a forced smile.  “I’m also going to Sugarcube Corner to see my cousin.”  She turned to Shining Armor. “Shiny, what does he like?” she pleaded.

“He’s allergic to hazelnuts, but most of the other stuff will be okay.  Use your best judgment,” Shining said, shooting a glare Dusk Shine’s way.  Dusk suddenly found his hooves to be very interesting to look at at that moment.

“Yeah, what Dad said.  Anything without hazelnuts will be… nice.”  He snuck a quick peek at Blueberry Cake, and then returned his attention to the ground.  The blue coated mare clambered into the basket in as ladylike a manner as was possible, all things considered.  The pilot released the tethering rope, and the balloon took off.  Shining and Dusk both waved, the colt a little more enthusiastic about it than was necessary.

“You know, Dusk,” Shining began, “I like Blueberry Cake.  She fascinates me, and not just her resemblance to one of Aunt Twily’s friends.  I would like to get to know her better, because that’s what adults do.  We have friends, with whom we like to spend time, just like you do.”

“So you’re saying I should spend more time with Cacophony?” Dusk asked.

“Yes, exactly,” Shining nodded.  Then thinking about what he may or may not have just agreed to, he eyed his son cautiously. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“Well, she’s like my only friend here since we moved.  She’s ok.  For a filly, I mean.  And her wings aren’t like the other pegasi in school and stuff so sometimes the other pegasi tease her about it, but I told them that she can’t help it if she was born different.  She appreciated that.”

“Well, that’s…” Shining wasn’t sure whether to compliment the blunt, rather tactless honesty or not. “If you’re going to be in the guard someday, you’ll need to know how to stand up to bullies,” he finished. “Eventually, you’re going to have more friends, and that’s what your old sire is trying to do too… get to know a few more ponies, and see if we can have fun together.”

“Was mom like that?” Dusk asked.  A balloon was descending to land in the spot where Blueberry Cake had left.

Shining sighed.  “I don’t think I’m ever going to meet anypony who even comes close to Mi Amore Cadenza…” his voice drifted off as he caught sight of a creamy yellow coated unicorn with a vibrant flaming mane step fluidly out of the basket and trot toward the city.  Shining stared at the mare until she was out of sight and let out a whistle.  “She was beautiful,” he said wistfully.

“Mom?  Yeah, she was,” Dusk said, thinking Shining was still talking about Cadance.  “You know, Cacophony thinks that there are an infinite number of universes out there, and in one of them, maybe you and Sunset Shimmer know each other.”

“Who’s Sunset Shimmer?” Shining asked.

“The one who wrote to us from Baltimare,” Dusk explained.  “Cacophony said that in most universes, the two of you never get together because you’re married to mom.  Those are the happy universes, but occasionally, there’s a ‘verse where the changeling queen wins and you become her thrall, and maybe in one of those universes Sunset Shimmer becomes the hero who saves you from a fate worse than death.”

Shining gazed at Dusk slack jawed.  Shaking his head, he said the only thing that came to his mind.  “Well, I sincerely hope that you have no plans to marry Cacophony.”

“Dad, we’re only eight.  She may be the coolest filly I know, but… she’s still got to grow out of her cooties first.  Besides, she eats bugs.”

“Duly noted.  Well, Your Auntie Twily is supposed to be meeting us here tomorrow,” Shining said, preparing to leave.

“Why isn’t she flying herself?” Dusk asked.

“She said she’ll explain when she gets here,” Shining answered.  He stopped and turned to Dusk suddenly.  “Did you say that your friend eats bugs?”

“She says it’s a cultural thing,” Dusk replied as he pantomimed throwing up.  “She said our unicorn ancestors never lived in caves like hers did, so we don’t understand.”

“Aha,” was all Shining could say.

~ S S S S ~

“Auntie Twilight!” Dusk cheered as the lavender mare descended in her balloon.  The colt’s face scrunched up in confusion.  “Why are you an earth pony?  Aren’t you a princess?”

“Sometimes even a princess needs a weekend off,” Twilight started to explain, shrugging her wingless shoulders.  “I kind of wanted to come here incognito.”

“You mean like in disguise?” Dusk asked dubiously.  “But I still recognize you.”

Twilight chuckled.  “That’s the point.  I wanted you to be easily recognized by you, but maybe not by someone who’s only heard of me because I’m a princess.  That way we can have fun and not worry about the paparazzi.”  She reached out a hoof and booped her nephew on the nose.

“What kind of spell did you use, Twily?” Shining Armor asked, looking at Twilight’s cutie mark with interest.  He was more amused than surprised to see a stack of books displayed on her flank in place of the magical star patterns that normally adorned it.  “It isn’t some kind of illusion that’ll break if I hug you, I hope?”

“Of course not,” Twilight said, embracing her bother.  “The spell won’t end unless I say the correct words and use the proper gestures.  It’s… actually a bit complicated.  I’ve been experimenting with some more of that ‘new magic’ that you know I love so much, as well as a few tricks that Zecora has taught me over the years.  Did I ever tell you about some of the fascinating spells that the zebras have been able to come up with?  They even have their own form of—“

“Didn’t you say you were on vacation?” Dusk interrupted.

“I did, didn’t I?” Twilight said with a smirk.

“And what happened to Spike?” Shining asked.

“Spike is taking a different flight.  Incognito, remember?  Plus he’s gotten a bit too big to fit in my saddlebags anymore,” Twilight chuckled.  “He’ll be here by dinner time.”

~ S S S S ~

"So what do you think?  Help me, Sunset Shimmer!  You're my only hope!" Cacophony paused for dramatic effect.

"Sounds like a line from a lame movie," Dusk said, rolling his eyes.  "This is real life, it needs to sound real, not desperate."

"You're the bookish one here," Cacophony said.  "I'm more into music and movies.  Musicals, too, know that I think about it."

"You're gonna end up with drama masks on your flank," Dusk teased her.

"I'd love that.  You're going to end up with a book on yours," the apricot filly responded.

"I... can live with that, I guess," Dusk said, cocking his head as he pondered the possibility.  "Now help me write something real that will be sure to get her to go to Manehattan."

"Ah cud awaysh twy dis," Cacophony said with some difficulty as she scrawled some words across the parchment with her mouth.

Dusk peered at the parchment.  "Do you think that sounds like a grown-up?"

Cacophony shrugged.  "I tried to make it sound as boring as possible."

"Yeah, you're right.  Let's send it."

~ S S S S ~

The waves slowly rolled in.  Shining Armor watched as Dusk and Twilight frolicked and splashed happily.  Leaving Twilight and his parents behind had been the most difficult part of this transfer.  He could only imagine how tough it had been on Dusk.  Seeing his son smiling so carefree was like tomato soup for his soul.

Shining Armor’s guard instincts were acting up for some reason.  He looked around, eyes narrowed, ears flattened to his head.  Someone was watching him.  There!  In the road, a light amber unicorn with a mane the color of flames stood watching him.  It was the mare from the balloon the previous day.  Their gazes locked in a staring contest, and time seemed to slow down.  Shining blinked first.

“Hello,” he called out to her.  Smooth, Shiny, he thought.  If his conscience had eyes, it would have rolled them at him.

“Hello,” she replied softly.  The distance between the two muted her greeting to the point where it was practically a whisper.  Nonetheless, he heard it.

Shining was about to ask her if he could be of some assistance.  It would have been the polite thing to do, considering the situation.  She was obviously looking for someone.  A carriage drove up at that moment and proceeded to ruin the moment.

“Get out of the way, ya rube!” the driver barked at the mare, who stepped backwards out of the road.  Shining could see her blushing.  She closed her eyes, her concentration focusing, and teleported away before he could say anything of substance to her.

“Who was that, BBBFF?” Twilight called from the shoreline.

“I’m not sure,” Shining admitted, as he made patterns in the beach sand with one of his hooves.  “I think she was looking for something, but she teleported away before I could ask her.”

“I didn’t get a good look at her before she teleported away, but her mane seemed familiar for some reason,” Twilight said.  Unable to avoid teasing her big brother a little bit, she added “I take it she wasn’t your new special somepony?”

“No,” Dusk cut in.  “Blueberry Cake’s annoying and laughs like a hyena.”  A glare from his father hushed the colt.

~ S S S S ~

“So how did it go?” Lightning Dust cheerily asked Sunset Shimmer as she walked into the house.

“I watched him on the beach with his son.  They were playing in the waves and having a good time,” Sunset lamented. “Thanks for house sitting, by the way.”

“And the whorse?” Lightning Dust asked, handing her a stack of unopened mail, mostly bills, by their initial appearance.

“She didn’t look like a whorse, honestly,” Sunset admitted.  “Just like Wheaton said, she was a lavender coated earth pony with a blue mane.  There was this weird magical feeling in the air though.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that there was some kind of glamour surrounding her.  She looked almost familiar, but I just couldn’t figure out why.”

“You unicorns and your magic,” Lightning Dust snorted.  “I swear to Luna that the horns on your heads act as lightning rods for crazy conspiracies.  Brzap!  Hey, I think I know my secret crush’s girlfriend from somewhere…”

“Come on, Dusty, it’s not like that,” Sunset snapped.  “I just was expecting somepony different from his son’s description of her, that’s all.  She really got along with him, too, like they’d known each other for years.  Am I going crazy?”

“No crazier than usual,” Lightning Dusk confirmed.

“All I could say to him was ‘hello,’” Sunset whined.  She tore open the top envelope with her teeth and levitated the letter up in front of her.

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

Thank you for your letter.  Dusk Shine and I really liked it a lot.  After reading it, we came to the conclusion that it would be inconceivable for us to spend our Hearts and Hooves Day with anypony else.  We will see you at the Statue.  XOXO, Sleepless in Seaddle.

“XOXO?” Sunset wondered out loud.

“Inconceivable?  I don’t think that means what he thinks it means,” Lightning Dust said.  “Look, we’re both writers, he’s obviously not.  Maybe he had the kid write it because he couldn’t think of the words to say.”

“I doubt it,” Sunset grumbled.  “I think this is just one more bad sign after a series of bad signs that all point to how much I love Flash Sentry and would be foolish to even consider marrying anypony else.  I should tell him the truth, and hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive me.”

“What about the letter?” Lightning Dust asked.

Sunset sent out a burst of magic that incinerated the letter.  Lightning Dust watched as motes of ash floated slowly to the ground.

~ S S S S ~

“Are you sure about this, Cacophony?” Dusk asked the apricot filly.  “Nopony’s going to ever believe that I’m twelve years old.”

“I wrote that you were a preemie when you were foaled, so you’re short for your age.  I also said that it’s an uncomfortable subject for you and not to mention it unless you bring it up first,” Cacophony beamed.

“There’s no other option?” Dusk whined.

“Well, you didn’t like my first suggestion of using the Zebra teleportation method,” Cacophony said sarcastically.

“The one where you draw a magic circle on the floor and speak in tongues?” Dusk deanpanned.

“It’s not speaking in tongues.  It’s speaking… Zebrican or something,” Cacophony retorted.  “It’s probably Ancient Gryphish.  I mean, the patterns that make up the circle are a bunch of hierogryphics, after all.”

“Whatever.  Does it work?” Dusk queried.

“My Master uses it all the time to go places,” Cacophony assured him.  “He brought me to Appaloosa once.  It feels a little funny at first, like you’re gonna puke, but once the world stops spinning, poof! There you are.”

“I’m not sure I want to go ‘poof,’” Dusk muttered.  “Besides, have you ever actually cast the spell?”

“Of course,” Cacophony said.  “I just haven’t tested it on a pony yet.  Or anything living, for that matter, after what happened with Princess Plushie…”

“Who’s Princess Plushie?”

“She used to be my favorite stuffed doll,” Cacophony said, twiddling her hooves and avoiding eye contact with Dusk.  “I tried teleporting her from the laboratory to the kitchen once.  I never did figure out where her head ended up, but I eventually found the rest of her…”

“All right, you win.  I’ll take the train.”

~ S S S S ~

“So let me get this straight,” Spike said. “Not five minutes after your current fling gets on a balloon bound for Ponyville, you see this other mare at the port.”

“And apparently, she showed up on the beach yesterday,” Twilight said.  “The crazy mare almost got herself run over by a carriage. I didn’t get a good look at her, but Shiny says she was the same unicorn.”

“I saw her too!” Dusk piped up.  Twilight ran her hoof through his short mane, mussing it a bit with a light noogie.

“At least you’re seeing somepony again,” Spike added.  Dusk’s face noticeably fell at that announcement.    “My Pinkie sense is tingling that somepony’s not taking it well?”

“He has his heart set on somepony else from Baltimare who wrote one of the many letters,” Shining said. Seeing Dusk about to comment, he quickly added, “but he knows better than to bring her name up any more.  That conversation is over.”

“Speaking of Baltimare, I remember some of the few letters that I didn’t send to you, mom and dad, or Princess Celestia were to a secret admirer,” Twilight said wistfully.  “There was this cute guard named Flash Sentry, who Spike and I met—“

Spike interrupted her, clearing his throat and mouthing something that looked like “Ixnay.”  That wasn’t even a real word.

“Well, anyway, Flash got transferred to Baltimare not long after we met, so we were pen pals for a while.  It was fun anticipating what and when I’d hear from him next,” Twilight continued.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed.  “You were a little loopy for him.  Some days you’d just wait to hear the magical sound… *buuurrrrrrpp!*  Twilight, you’ve got mail!”

Dusk laughed at the young dragon’s crude humor,  Twilight rolled her eyes, and Shining simply shook his head.

“Then one day, the letters stopped.  I figured that he’d met somepony, because he sort of alluded to it in our last correspondence.  I hope it turned out for the best,” Twilight said, a look of longing in her gaze. “He had beautiful penmareship, too.  I could read his mouthwriting all day.  It was… enchanting.”

Dusk pantomimed gagging.  He and Spike giggled together.  Shining shot a stern glare at both of them from across the table.

"So why don't you tell Auntie Twilight about your fillyfriend, Dusk?" Shining prompted.  Dusk Shine blanched and ran from the table.

"That was rather mean," Spike accused.

"He pokes fun at my relationships, I reserve the right to tease him about his," Shining answered back.

"Shining Armor, your son's eight years old," Twilight Sparkle chided him.  "She's a filly and she's his friend.  It's nothing like whatever you're planning with this Blueberry Cake." She waved off his attempt to butt in. "Who sounds very nice given what you've told me about her.  She has a... really nice mane?  Never mind.  It took Nightmare Moon coming to Ponyville before I was convinced I needed any friends at all.  Just give him time to adjust."

~ S S S S ~

Shining paced back and forth across the floor of his bedroom, grumbling and muttering to himself.  His sister and Spike were gone, and Blueberry Cake was coming back to Seaddle today.  Maybe it was a bit selfish, but Shining Armor was going to be there when she arrived.  She was cute, she was smart, she liked his son, despite Dusk acting like such a foal around her, and maybe most important of all, she had promised him that she’d wear socks.

“I’ll tell you what I’m doing this weekend.  I’m going out and getting laid.  Everypony else in Equestria is banging this weekend, and I haven’t been laid in…” he paused. “Feather it.  I was a good upstanding stallion.  I waited until Cadance and I got married.  I’m the only member of the guard who didn’t sleep around at West Hoof, although I could have banged at least six mares. Maybe seven—“

He stopped himself when he saw Dusk Shine standing in his doorway.

“How long have you been standing there?” Shining demanded.

“Six mares at West Hoof, maybe seven,” Dusk mimicked, his brows knit together in a furious scowl.

“Seven,” Shining shot back.  “Eight!  Cloud Kicker!  How could I forget Cloud Kicker?”

“I like this one,” Dusk said belligerently, waving Sunset Shimmer’s letter at his father.

“Dusk, give it a rest.  I am going to have a life with grown up ponies who do grown up things.  It's not about who you like, it's about who I like.  You're not going to like anyone who is not your mother,” Shining said.

"What's wrong with Sunset Shimmer?" Dusk demanded.

"Shut up, Dusk," Shining growled, exasperated.

"Mom never told me to shut up.  Mom never yelled at me.  She loved me and she loved you and everypony.  It was better when she was alive, because we didn't have to move to this shithole where I only have one friend and a dad who's more interested in banging than his own son.  The mare who wrote this letter may not be perfect, but she's nice and wants to give you a chance, and you're willing to throw it all away because of a pair of socks and an easy bang.  I hate you."

Dusk stormed off to his room, tears flowing freely.  Shining heard the door slam, and a click that implied that he was locked out of his son's life for the rest of the day, and they'd risen with the roosters.  Shining glanced at the clock.  Eight hundred hours.  The sitter was going to be late.

His heart told him that he should meet Blueberry Cake because he promised her that much, but give her a rain check on the rest of the night to deal with his hurting son.  His pride argued that this was a character building moment, and Dusk would understand some day.

"Captain Armor?  Dusky?  I'm here!" called the foalsitter.  Not as late as he thought, apparently.

"He's in his room," Shining said.

"Are you still planning to be away for the entire evening?"

"I haven't decided yet.  Don't worry, either way, you'll be paid for the whole night." Shining absently mumbled.

"Score!  You're the best, Captain Armor!"

"Just don't let him read any more of those comics that you always bring tonight if you can help it.  He had nightmares all last week."

The schoolfilly flushed.  "Aye aye, Cap'N."

"Dusk, the sitter is here," Shining called.  He wasn't expecting a response, but it was worth a try.  "Dusk, she has a key to your door.  I'm leaving, but keep in mind that she can come in whenever she wants."

Still nothing.  Not too surprising.

"I'll make sure he's okay," the teenaged filly said, gently unlocking the bedroom door.

"Thank you," Shining said.

"Um, Captain Armor?  Dusk ain't here.  His window's wide open, too."

"Aw, feather me..."

"Maybe he went to his fillyfriend's place?"

"She's not his fillyfriend... you know, that doesn't matter right now.  That's as good a guess as any.  Let's go."

~ S S S S ~

“Cacophony, honey, Dusk’s dad is really worried about him.  We know that you know where he is, and we need you to tell us,” Blueberry Cake begged.  “Please,” she added, as if hoping that the infamous magic word would actually work magic on the filly.

“Cacophony,” the filly's grandfather MacGregor fixed her with a stare that even made Shining Armor nervous, and he wasn’t the one on the receiving end of it.  “Now.”

“Manehattan,” Cacophony finally answered, looking down at her hooves to avoid the piercing gaze of her grandfather.  “He took the Express Train to Manehattan.”  She cautiously looked up again, her draconic eyes large and sorrowful, like a puppy who had just been disciplined.  “Am I in trouble?” she asked.

“Yes,” MacGregor said immediately, not falling for it.  Cacophony pouted.

“What time was his train?” Shining Armor asked.  His gaze shifted to the clock on the wall.  It was a few minutes fast, but it read 8:43.

"Eight thirty," Cacophony answered sheepishly, trying to hide behind her mane.

~ S S S S ~

Manehattan was amazing.  Sure, Seaddle was nothing to sneeze at, and the Crystal Empire’s sheer beauty was awe inspiring, but nothing could stop the thrill running down Dusk’s leg at the sight of what was once known as New Orange by its original settlers.  It was simply divine!

The first thing I need to do, he thought, is find the statue.  There’s got to be a map around here somewhere…

“Hey kid!”

Dusk turned around to see a young white pegasus mare with a mane the color of a watermelon.

“You look lost.  Where’s your ma?”

Dusk pondered over two possible answers to the question, and settled on the one that would get him what he wanted.

“I’m supposed to meet her at the statue,” he finally answered.  “Do you know how to get there?”

“Today’s your lucky day,” the mare smiled at him warmly.  “I was just on my way there myself.  Want me to be your tour guide?”

“My mom always said I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” Dusk said, starting to hurry off.

“My mom always said that life was like a box of chocolates,” the stranger chuckled.  Seeing Dusk obviously unnerved by her advances, she tried a different approach.  “Look, your mom's right, so here’s what we do:  My name’s Blossomforth,”  she stuck out a hoof in anticipation,  “and you are…?”

“Dusk,” the lavender colt answered.  He decided no harm came from not giving her his full name.

“Such a strong name,” Blossomforth nodded.  “So see?  I know your name, you know mine. Now we ain’t strangers no more.”

Dusk started to edge away again, trying to mumble through some kind of excuse.

“Look, Dusk, I ain’t gonna hurt ya, if that’s what you’re worried about.  I’m no Element of Honesty or anything, but you can trust me.  Besides,” Blossomforth continued with what Dusk could only imagine was intended as a soothing wink. “The statue’s that way.”

Blossomforth pointed a hoof in the direction opposite from where Dusk had been oriented.  Sure enough, the young colt could see a coppery green shape in the distance.

“So are you game?” Blossomforth asked impatiently.

“I guess so,” Dusk acquiesced.

“Ok, then.  Hey Boss!” she shouted up at one of the passing clouds.  A charcoal gray stallion poked his sleepy head out of the cottony mass.  Dusk stifled a chuckle at the sight of the stallion's bluish silver mane sticking straight up on his head like a fin.  “I’m takin’ my lunch break,” Blossomforth called out.

“Fine,” the stallion grunted and withdrew his head back from whence it came.

“You’re on duty?” Dusk asked, incredulously.

“Weather patrol cadet, but as you can see,” Blossomforth waved at the cloudless sky. “There’s not a whole ton of work to do right now.  So let’s go find your mom.”

The pair trotted off in the direction of the statue.  With every step, Dusk knew he was getting that much closer to meeting Sunset Shimmer.  His new mom.

~ S S S S ~

Sunset Shimmer prodded her meal with her fork, lazily levitating it absentmindedly.  She could see the statue from here, all lit up, drawing her focus away on what she was really supposed to be doing st this restaurant, which was enjoying a Hearts and Hooves Day meal with her fiancee.  Her fiancee whom she loved so very much.  She just needed to keep convincing herself of that.

"I've secretly been cheating on you with Princess Twilight Sparkle," Flash Sentry said.  "We're running off together, and I thought it best that you should know."

"What?" Sunset sputtered, losing her telekinetic grip on her fork and sending it skittering across the table.

"I didn't think you were paying attention," the tan guardpony accused her.  "I was asking you about how much you enjoyed seeing Octavia and Corona Park, but when I got nothing but 'uh-huh,' 'yeah, sure' and 'okay' for five straight minutes, I threw in a couple of zingers just to double check.  I did want to thank you for agreeing to buy me those hoofball season tickets, though."  Flash gave her a wan smile, although his eyes showed a deep concern for her well being.

The mention of the word 'cheating' however, no matter who it was attached to, made everything she had done since Hearth's Warming burn in the pit of her gut like... well, kind of like Lightning Dust's favorite wine, and not in a good way.  Flash Sentry would never cheat on her.  She on the other hoof, had already broken up with him in one world.  This had been her second chance with him, and she was blowing it.

“Flash,” Sunset Shimmer said.  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Flash Sentry listened patiently while his high school sweetheart explained her plan to him.  He looked out the restaurant window at the iconic building that his soon-to-be-ex-fiancée would be ascending to find her Prince Charming.  He chuckled internally as he wondered what the odds were of that being the real name of this mystery stallion from Seaddle.

“I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t felt something like this coming ever since that little radio incident,” he said.

“You’re taking it rather well,” Sunset said, putting her hoof on his shoulder.  Teasingly, she added “It almost makes me think that you’ve got somepony else lined up.”

Flash laughed halfheartedly.  “No, I was one hundred percent committed to this.  I could go with a couple of clichés here: If you really love somepony, set them free. I’m just glad to still be your friend.  Is there anything I can do that could possibly change your mind…  yadda yadda,” he looked at the ground.  “You’re hurting me, Sunset Shimmer.   I know you well enough to know that when Sunset Shimmer wants something, she gets it… and unfortunately, what she wants isn’t Flash Sentry.”

A tear rolled down his muzzle and splashed into his dinner.

“Pretend you didn’t see that,” he joked lamely, his voice cracking slightly.

“I don’t deserve you,” Sunset Shimmer smiled weakly.

Flash mirrored the smile with a forced one of his own.  “Yeah, you’re probably right.  Go find him, Sunset.  I’ll be okay.”

Sunset nodded and gathered her saddlebags to leave.  Flash watched her trot away, but in the back of his mind, he clung to the tiniest shred of hope.  Maybe she’ll turn and look back one last time, he thought.  If she looks back at you, Flash, you’ve still got a shot to save this.

Sunset Shimmer kept walking away.  She reached the stairwell, and briskly descended them until she was out of his line of vision.

She’s gone.

~ S S S S ~

“So that’s your mother over there?” Blossomforth asked.

“Yup,” Dusk Shine lied.  He felt bad about fibbing to the kind pegasus after she had been so nice to him, but he knew he needed to keep up the charade that he wasn’t really alone in Manehattan.  The last place he needed to end up was at in the “lost parents” room at the police station.

“Well, that’s my good deed for the day,” Blossomforth beamed.  “You take care of yourself now.”  She held out her hoof again for the young colt to bump.

“Thank you, Blossomforth,” Dusk said, giving the surprised mare a hug instead.  “You’ll never know how much this really meant to me.”

“Whoa, whoa,  no need to get all melodramatic on me,” Blossomforth said, her cheeks reddening. “It’s nothin’ really.  All in a day’s work.  Speaking of work, I guess I should be getting back to my patrol.  Take care of yourself now, and don’t talk to… other strangers,” she finished, and with a parting wink, she took flight.

Dusk spent the rest of afternoon scrutinizing every mare who approached the monument by herself.  One of them was bound to be Sunset Shimmer.  He knew it in his heart.  All he needed to do was work up the courage.  Sunset Shimmer hadn’t specified what tribe of pony she belonged to in the letter.  For all Dusk knew, she could be a zebra.  That would be cool.  He spotted a pegasus who appeared to be waiting for somepony, just like he was.  He set his saddlebag down in what he hoped would be a safe place, and cantered up to her.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” he meekly addressed the opal green pegasus.  “I’m looking for somepony.”

“Aren’t we all?” she asked, an amused expression on her muzzle.

“You’re… you wouldn’t happen to be Sunset Shimmer, would you?” Dusk asked, his eyes pleading.

“I’m afraid to burst your bubble,” the pegasus replied, “but my name’s Medley.”  She pointed at her cutie mark, which featured a rain cloud.  “Not a whole hay of a lot that’s sunny about me.”

“Oh, sorry to disturb you.” Dusk’s face fell.

“Not at all,” Medley said courteously.

One single mare down... a million bazillion to go, Dusk thought.

“Dusk Shine?” the colt heard an unfamiliar stallion’s voice calling out to him.  He cautiously turned in the direction of his addressee to see a light orange earth pony stallion with a green mane.

“Who are you?” Dusk asked warily.

“Oh, thank Celestia, it is him,” the stallion said.  “Sherbet!  Relay a message to Applejack.  We’ve found her friend’s nephew.”

Applejack? Dusk wondered silently.  “Who are you? And how do you know Applejack?”

“I’m Applejack’s Uncle Orange,” the stallion answered.  “When your dad found out that you snuck out here by yourself, he contacted your Aunt Twilight to organize a search party.  She in turn contacted Applejack, who called upon relatives in the borough like her cousin Babs, Hayseed, and my wife and I to come out and look for you.  Speaking of my wife…”

A cream colored mare with flaming orange mane done up in a beehive galloped toward them.

“Oh, you poor dear,” Aunt Orange said, pulling Dusk into an uncomfortable hug.  “Your family is worried sick about you.  Whatever possessed you to come to Manehattan by yourself without knowing anypony here?”

“I was hoping to meet somepony at the statue,” Dusk mumbled.  In hindsight, this was beginning to feel like the worst idea ever.

“Kind of a long way to go for a fillyfriend, don’t you think?” Uncle Orange joked as they started to walk away from the statue.

Dusk said nothing.  Maybe certain things just weren’t meant to be after all.

~ S S S S ~

Sunset Shimmer trotted around the base of the statue.  It was late, and she knew that at some point somepony was going to come by and tell her that the area was closed to the public after a certain hour.  She hadn’t bothered to read the sign to figure out the exact time.  It would have only made things worse anyway, watching the seconds tick away like any glimmer of hope that Sleepless would actually show up.  She sighed and sat down on a bench.

“Ma’am?” somepony called out to her.

“Yes, I know, the area is closed to the public for the evening,” she said.  “I was just… looking for somepony.”

“Aren’t we all,” a green pegasus mare said, chuckling.  “Whoa, déjà vu.  A colt said the same thing to me earlier today.  He forgot his saddlebag behind that bench you’re sitting on.”

Sunset turned her head.  Sure enough, there was a saddlebag slightly concealed behind the bench.  Curious, she picked it up and looked for any identifying marks.  She spotted the name ‘Dusk’ written in black ink on the flap.

“Did he have a lavender coat and an indigo mane with blonde and purple streaks?” She implored the green pegasus, whose eyes widened.

“You’re the one he was looking for, aren’t you?” she said simply.

Dusk.  He was here.  Sunset thought.  That means…  I don’t know what that means.

"But yeah, neither of us are really supposed to be here after dark.  I didn't have anything to do, so I said to myself 'Medley, why don't you stay and watch the kid's saddlebag in case he comes back?'  I mean, I wouldn't want anypony to take it on him.  That's my story for when the guard comes to kick me out, anyway," the opal green mare continued.

"I need to find him," Sunset declared.  "I have to get that saddlebag back to him."

"OK, sure," Medley said, "and how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

Sunset raised her front hooves to the sky dramatically. "I have no idea!" she grinned.

~ S S S S ~

“I just thank Celestia that you’re all right, Dusk,” Shining Armor said as they walked toward the statue.

“I’m sorry,” Dusk Shine said.

“What if I couldn’t get here?  What if Applejack didn’t have family in Manehattan who were willing to look for you?” Shining asked.

“Applejack came to Manehattan by herself when she was my age,” Dusk pointed out.  “Auntie Twilight said that’s how she got her cutie mark.”

“Applejack told her family where she was going and who she’d be staying with,” Shining Armor countered.

“I’m sorry,” Dusk repeated.  “I guess it was pretty dumb, wasn’t it?”

“You’re all right, and that’s the most important thing.  You’re my family, Dusk.  If anything happened to you…” Shining choked up, unable to finish the thought.

“Do you think they’re going to let us get my saddlebag?” Dusk asked, changing the subject.  “It’s kind of late.”

“Well, maybe if I flash my badge,” Shining shrugged. “It probably won’t come to that, though.  We’ll be in and out.”

“Okay.”

They walked in silence for a bit.

“I have an idea,” Shining announced.  “It might seem a bit out there, but what about if we take a detour through Ponyville on the way back and go see Fluttershy?  You can pick out the perfect pet.”

“You mean like a dog or something?” Dusk raised his eyebrow uncertainly.

“Well, sure, maybe.  It wouldn’t have to be a dog, though, if you don’t like dogs,” Shining said.

“I don’t know,” an unfamiliar voice piped up.  “I’m rather partial to dogs, myself.  If I were to, say, write one of those want ads, it might say something like ‘Voluptuous, sensuous unicorn seeks Seaddle stallion to share sunsets.  Must love dogs.’”

Shining Armor and Dusk Shine gaped at a cream colored unicorn with a mane the color of flame.  She was holding onto Dusk’s saddlebag.

“I believe this belongs to you, Dusk,” she said offering it back to the lavender colt.

“You’re the mare from the balloon… and the street,” Shining Armor stated.

“Yeah, that was rather awkward,” she blushed.

“Are you really Sunset Shimmer?” Dusk asked, his eyes widening in awe.  Sunset nodded.

“Wait, you’re Sunset Shimmer?” Shining’s jaw dropped.

“Is there an echo in here?” Sunset joked.

A polite cough over by the bench drew their attention.  Dusk and Sunset recognized Medley, who was gesturing something that neither could decipher.

“We’d better go,” Shining said.  He held out his hoof toward Sunset.  “Shall we?”

Dusk Shine grinned from ear to ear as the three cantered back toward… wherever their lives were going next.

~ Fin. ~