Interference Trilogy Book I: Derpy and the Assimadrons

Chapter 1; Discovery

One of the Pegasi inhabitants of Ponyville, Derpy, is, shall we say, accident prone. For example, she had once tried to hang a large banner a while back with the help of another Pegasus, who's name is Rainbow Dash, but only succeeded in unintentionally knocking Rainbow Dash through a wooden platform. Her coat is grey, her mane and tail are blond, her, "cutie mark" are a bunch of bubbles... (?) Also, her eyes are amber and point in 2 different directions at once, like a chameleon. Except, cuter... Annnyway, she also loves muffins... A lot. On the day the Asimadrons were just about to recreate the Portal to Equestron, which happened to be a Sunday, Derpy was just waking up from a wonderful dream containing, yep, muffins. "Awwwnahhhhh," she yawned, stretching as she sat up on her bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She shook her mane and looked out the window beside her bed, which was placed in a corner of a small wooden room. Also in the room, a short bedside table sat beside the head of her bed. On the other side of the room, opposite the bed's side, was a door that seemed as if the wood had varying degrees of age, probably due to "accidents". Opposite the door was a metal dresser and was probably the least damaged thing in the room. It was a gift from a Unicorn named Rarity, (?) to replace the African mahogany one that was literally "reduced to splinters" and who had hated the idea of "such beautiful" and "expertly crafted" dressers being "accidentally damaged". The door led to a short hallway extending both ways, left led to stairs to the ground floor, and the other way led to another door, that door was a guest room, and had not been used as such for, actually, never. Derpy rarely went in nowadays, which kept the room "alive". Opposite that door was one leading to the bathroom, and the door was made of solid metal, this protecting it from most harmful occurrences, mainly because who wants someone peaking through a crack while your using the "facilities". The sun seemed much larger then normal to Derpy, but then again, she often saw double due to her eye... "condition", which could make something seem bigger.

"It looks like a beautiful day." she said as she jumped out of bed, tripping mid-jump on her blanket, which was caught on the corner of her bed. The result was her stopping short and slamming into the ground.

"Ow." said Derpy's as she stood up and rubbed her temples. She headed for the door, reaching over to open the door. She very carefully and slowly gripped the knob, opening it in the same manner. As she carefully closed it, she breathed a sigh of relief. She had managed to avoid damaging her bedroom door for the last 5 days. Derpy turned towards the stairs, but her wing bonked into a rather worn piece of wood, creating a rather large crack.

"So much for my record" she thought as she walked down the stairs pausing to look at a picture.

"When did I get this picture?" she asked herself lifting it off it's peg and looking at it closer. It was a dark green square cut into quarters, a small ring cutout at the point where the quarters converged with a space background. Derpy blinked. When her eyes opened again, the picture disappeared, replaced by a picture of Canterlot. Cautiously, she returned the picture to its peg and continuing to walk downstairs, often glancing up at the picture. The first floor consisted of a medium-sized living room connected to the kitchen and dining room via an archway. The front door led straight to the kitchen, which seems a little odd. She immediately grabbed a sausage and egg muffin (No really. she put scrambled egg and sausage bits into muffin bater and baked it. What the Fr'ij?) from her pantry, consuming it in record time.

"Mmmm..." she moaned contently as she swallowed the last crumb of the oversized muffin.

"I love muffins." she said as she grabbed her saddle pack from the hook by the door which she opened, and closed, hard, as she stepped outside.

"Whoops." she said looking at most of the door mechanism in her hoof.

"I'll need to get that fixed." she said as she set it on a small bench on her porch. She jumped into the air and flew through the air, heading for Ponyville.

"I'll stop by Sugar Cube Corner first." she thought as she clipped a cloud, causing it to unintentionally spinning it to the ground, landing directly on top of Fluttershy's cottage's chimney... And start to drip rain water. As Derpy approached the village, Rainbow Dash was sitting on her usual cloud, daydreaming, when something wet hit her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open, looking for the source of the water. Turns out, a tiny raincloud was floating just above her head. She swatted it away, sending it flying through the air like a bullet. Meanwhile, Derpy was slowing in for landing outside Sugar Cube Corner, but just before touchdown, a certain tiny raincloud smashed into the side of her head with such force, it twisted her flight path, sending her into the door of the shop, just as it opened and Mrs. Cake stepped out, carrying a cake that resembled something from Cake Boss. The resulting collision proved fatal... To the cake that is.

"Ow." Derpy said for the second time that day as she got up and gasped at what was left of what would have put Cake Boss to shame.

"I...I'm..." Derpy stuttered before suddenly realizing that Mrs. Cake was probably underneath almost a metric ton of cake "guts". Panicking, she franticly began to sift through the remains for Mrs. Cake.

"Mrs. Cake? Mrs. Cake?!" Derpy cried as she moved from mound to mound of cake remains. Mr. Cake walked into the front room from the back room holding a tray of small irregular shaped cupcakes. As soon as he saw the scene, the tray dropped from his hooves and made a large clatter when it hit the floor.

"Eigghh..." he choked out before fainting, making another loud clatter. Derpy didn't notice, she was too busy trying to find Mrs. Cake in the cake. (No pun intended.) Suddenly, Derpy's hoof collided with something hard,

"Mrs. Cake?!" she cried as she shoved more of the remains away from where she had hit the hard object. In a few seconds, Derpy had "dug up" a seemingly unconscious Mrs. Cake pinned under a cart that had been used to transport the cake. Derpy shoved the cart off of Mrs. Cake, practically crying.

"Don't be dead, don't be dead." she quietly wished.

"I'm not dead!" Mrs. Cake said angrily, sitting up as soon as the cart was lifted off her. Derpy then noticed that a sizable crowd had formed, which made her blush in shame. But then, she realized that it wasn't her fault. That raincloud caused her to spin out of control. For once it seemed, an accident she caused wasn't because of clumsiness.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Cake, there was this tiny raincloud and—"

"Derpy," Mrs. Cake interrupted.

"enough. I don't want to hear it, I have to make a phone call." (When did they have phones!?) she turned and went inside, closing the door behind her. Derpy just stood there, she could feel the eyes of the crowd boring into her. She turned slowly, holding back her tears until she could be alone. She walked away, very slowly, her head down, and very, very sad.

"Why do I keep messing up?" she asked herself in her head.

"It's not fair. Why does everyone hate me?" By now, she had reached an old meadow, near the Everfree Forest. There she sat down, and commenced to cry, she didn't know how much time passed before, a new star appeared in the sky, one growing to the size of the moon, and bigger, with the naked eye, you could see through the Portal, right at the Power Core. Behind that, a planet smothered in electric machinery, pulsing, and blinking like a giant metal heart. Would have Derpy looked up, she would have seen Xylo's small ship pass through the Portal and into the atmosphere. It wasn't until Xylo was just about to (crash) land next to her that she finally looked up. The shockwave from the impact threw Derpy back a few feet, she landed hard on her back.

"Ow!" she said for the third time that day. Propping herself up with her fore-hooves, she watched, too afraid to move or say anything, as Xylo's craft hissed, releasing hot steam from some reactor. Suddenly, a bang erupted from the top side of the ship, like someone was pounding on a metal door. After 3 more bangs, the hatch burst, and Xylo hopped out and looked around. His entire body was covered in a black atmospheric suit, with a large opaque visor.

"Hhhghh." Derpy choked, which caused Xylo to jump, turn around, and trip over the wing of the ship. Just before he hit the ground, 5 strange metal spider things jumped out of the ship and rushed toward Derpy, who only noticed them until it was too late. 2 clamped down on her front-hooves, perpendicular to her body. Another 2 clamped down on her back hooves, forming an acute (...) angle. While the last one slowly made its way over, like it had all the time in the world. (In reality, two of its legs were non-functional.) Meanwhile Xylo stood up, his visor had shattered, and he was removing the helmet. Derpy didn't expect to see a pony's face, and such a handsome one at that. Xylo was standing bipedal holding his helmet with his remaing hooves, thinking the exact same thing about Derpy, except he expected for her to be a pony. Right away, Derpy noticed that his left eye looked like it was actually a mechanical amber light, while his right eye was real and also amber, like hers. His mane was black and silky, but then the last spider thing clamped down on her neck, not tight enough to choke her, but hard enough to keep her from moving her head. Xylo noticed this and walked closer, standing next to her head,

"What is your name?" he asked, smiling friendlily.

"D-Derpy." she said, she had a real name, but Derpy was what everyone called her, so it seemed the better option.

"Have you been exposed to any lethal radiation within the last month?" he asked, tilting his head to one side. Derpy blinked.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Evidently not." Xylo guessed,

"I'll be right back." he said, and with one final look into her eyes, returned to the crashed ship and pulled out a metal backpack, he pressed a button on the side and 2 clamps folded out from the backpack. He returned to Derpy and showed her the device in his hooves.

"This backpack was made for you. Did you know that? It was made for you and all the creatures on this planet. Once you put it on, you will see." he said, smiling again. Derpy looked at the backpack. It seemed the alien wasn't going to let her go otherwise, so she might as well.

"Okay. Put it on." she nodded and then felt herself rise into the air, like she was floating up, the spiders let go but Derpy still could not move.

"You will be able to do this too, once you've been Ascended." Derpy shot him a fearful look.

"Ascended? What does that mean?" Derpy rotated in the air away from Xylo as he replied,

"You'll see. It's the most wonderful thing... Ok, second most wonderful." he placed the back pack on her and pushed another button.

"Third, more like. Maybe fourth." He continued, pushing a few more buttons.

"This may hurt." he said,

"But I'm right here." Derpy raised an eyebrow when he said this.

"...OkkkkOWW!" she cried as a hypodermic needle injected a fluid into her shoulder.

"Shh, sh. The worst is over." Xylo said, lightly placing a hoof on her head.

"Yeeahh..." Derpy slurred as the instant sleeping fluid kicked in.

"Youuuuu..." was all she said before falling asleep.