Interference Trilogy Book I: Derpy and the Assimadrons

Chapter 3; The Ascension of Ponyville

When you read that Opportunity, as the Assimadrons call it, which I noted in the Prologue, reopened, I'll bet a spakker and two fish heads (?) that you thought to yourself: "I wonder what Celestia and Luna have to say about this." ... Ok, here's your spakker and your fish heads. Well, Luna was snoozing at the moment and really didn't see much of anything except the back of her eyelids. Celestia on the other hand, was... Uh... Er... How should I say this... Celestia was... Frightened..? (Hard to imagine, I know.) Which is incredibly strange mainly because Twilight and the others were all "Meh" about it. Also because she's hoooo-I-mean-powerful (...) and really shouldn't be scared in the least. Maybe she's met these creatures before in the past... Maybe. (NOT FORESHADOWING!!! *Trollface*) Moving on from that topic, ahem. Celestia just watches the whole debacle (?) unfold from her balcony-thing, using her telescope-like eyesight. When she saw the Ascension Zone appear, her eyes widened in shock. Quickly, a piece of paper and a quill appeared in front of her, and she begins to write;

"Twilight Sparkle,

I am warning you now, these creatures that have appeared are dangerous, and should be avoided at all costs. I wish I could give you more information, but I've wasted enough time with this letter already. I'll reply soon.

Celestia."

(Holy Fr'ij! She must have been in such a hurry, she left out the "Dear" at the beginning and the "Princess" bit at the bottom!) One quick, simple, istsy-bitsy, wee, question I want to ask. How, does Celestia send the letters? In the intro, we see the letter materialize in front of her, but what about the letters she sends? This is my-not-so plausible-hypothesis: She writes the letter, converts it into energy, (E=mc2 BEACH!!!) calculates the position of Spike, sends the letter's energy to Spike with a materialization timer, also with a message to the brain to make him burp, the result is him appearing to burp the letter out and materialize it at the same time. (Logic. It ruins everything.) Anyway, however she does it, the letter was sent. If you could remember, Spike fainted shortly after coming outside the library. Little hint, he's still there. The letter materialized on top of his head, and there it sat. Unread.

Xylo counted down silently in his head.

"19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7..."  a high-pitched whine filled the air.

"I guess my count was off." he thought as he watched the center of the teleport pad began to brightly glow dark green. A unicorn silhouette formed in the middle of the light, which began to get dimmer and dimmer. When the light was gone, Twilight stood in the middle. Well technicly that's not true, Twilight plus some, would be more specific. Twilight's purplely coat could still be seen in some places, mainly her left side, it seemed like it forgot to do half of the job! Most of the standard equipment was heaped on the right side of her body. Her right eye was replaced with an eye-plate, a piece of electronics that updates sight with vital signs, shield strength, ammo, should someone have any of these. In Derpy's case, it was implanted inside her eye, a bit messer, but it looks better in the end. The only thing that was Assimadron tech on the left side were metal straps, securing the tech in place, although its part of her body now, it can't come off, the micro-dish, a tiny radio dish, and a concealed Rapid Cannon. Her SP (Speacilized.) Box contained a class 2F7 connection to the Assimadron mainframe, and a vocabulary processor. The crowd was silent for several seconds, and even Rainbow Dash was speechless. (FINALLY!) All eyes were on Twilight, who suddenly began to look around, as if she was stunned to find out she was actually standing there. When she turned to look at Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, realization speard across her face.

"Pinkie? Applejack? Rainbow Dash?" She slowly approached them. Xylo raised an eyebrow.

"Memory loss is very uncommon, still, it seems like that could be the problem." Derpy on the other hand was to shocked to say anything. It was weird seeing Twilight like this, but at the same time, a comfort.

"How do you feel?" Xylo asked Twilight. Twilight's head instantly turned to him with a muffled whir and she replied.

"I feel... Different, slightly colder, less worried about things, more... Collected."

"The brain is trying to cope with the excess energy, causing certain brain functions to lag. Perfect. Nothing wrong there." Xylo thought, nodding. He looked up at the crowd and asked.

"Who's next?" For at least a full minute, no one moved. Then Pinkie popped up out of thin air beside Xylo and asked,

"Could you explain one thing to me?" Unfortunately, her question was never answered, for right then, Xylo jumped, slipped, catching Pinke's legs, causing her to fall on top of him. The added weight must have triggered a circuit or something because Xylo's jetpack activated for a spilt second, shooting both of them toward the AZ's front door. Xylo flew off in one direction, Pinkie flew inside the AZ, the door shutting behind her. Pinkie sat up, disoriented. Then the voice began to talk.

"Welcome, prepare yourself. There's no turning back. Do you wish to begin?"

"No! Let me out!" Pinkie cried, running around, trying to find an exit.

"Please!" she yelled again, tears falling.

"Excellent. now hold still..." Pinkie obeyed, then she heard a whirring to right.

"That must be the door!" she thought, and ran towards it. The second she turned and ran however, a

"*ZZZZZZZRRT!!!*" was heard, then all went quiet. Even the beating of Pinkie's heart was temporarily stopped. Duh.

Xylo picked himself up and put an ear close to the door. Derpy saw him flinch, then he sighed, and walked back to the podium.

"Is she going to be okay?" Applejack asked, eyes wide.

"Of course." He replied.

"She'll be out in about a minute."

"Will she look like, Twilight?" She asked glancing at Twilight.

"Oi!" Xylo exclaimed, turning his head toward her.

"Don't knock it untill you try it." he said.

"She won't look exactly like Twilight, but there will be similarities." The second after he said this, the teleport pad began to glow, and there was Pinkie. Xylo recognized a small electronic device hanging off the side of her neck as a SZ-1000, a small teleportation device. Not very powerful with a maximum range of 25 meters. Night vision googles hung over her eyes. Xylo noticed a metal line separating the sides of her head.

"Oh dear. I'm guessing she didn't hold still." he thought. There was no sign of an eye pad. But there were two tanks of gas on either side of her lower abdomen. There was also a miniature dimensional storage device at the base of her neck. But what stood out the most was the fact that the metal was not black, but dark pink! Yes, dark pink! Xylo was more that a little surprised, in fact, he blinked a few times just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Pinkie was more than a little surprised herself.

"What just happened?" she asked, teleporting next to Twilight.

"You were just Ascended. How do you feel?" Xylo asked, resting his head on the podium's edge.

"Hard to say, I guess you could say I feel like I could be everywhere at once, and that I could just appear anywhere at once anytime and that I can see everything and ooh look at that fly over three on top of that house on the side of the hill and..."

"Seems like Pinkie." Rainbow Dash mumbled. Xylo tuned out to the ramblings. Gears were turning in his head. No really. Gears were actually turning in his head.

"She must have a direct mental link to the teleport. That shouldn't pose a problem." Xylo said to himself, standing upright.

"So that's three now."

"Three?" Rainbow Dash asked, raising an eyebrow.

"There's only Pinkie and Twilight. That's two." Xylo looked at Derpy, and gave a small nod. Derpy nodded back. She felt braver when she was with Xylo.

"Well?" Rainbow Dash pestered, hovering closer, giving him an accusatory look.

"That's because There was one other of your race that was Ascended first. He looked at Derpy, and smiled reassuringly. Derpy nodded back, and stepped forward. Rainbow Dash turned to her.

"Grey coat, who do I... Wait..." realization swept across her face at the exact same time that Derpy lowered the visor, showing her face.

"DERPY!?" Almost everyone gasped. The only ones who didn't were Xylo, Twilight, and Pinkie. Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped faster than the prices at a flea market! (LOL!.. What's a flea market?)

"What? How?" Rainbow Dash stuttered.

"I was sitting next to where Xylo's ship crash landed, so I was the first." She said, loud enough for everyone to hear. She stood there for a second. Looking down.

"If Derpy can do it, I'm sure I can too." Derpy looked up just in time to see Rainbow Dash disappear inside the AZ. She wasn't the only one who was surprised, everyone, even Xylo. 36 seconds later, an Ascended Raindow Dash appeared on the teleport pad. Xylo's eyebrow raised. There was at least 6 scramjets. There was also a sleek, streamlined helmet that folded back into the neck-plate, which folded up to cover her head, taking a much more helmet-y shape. The metal covered every square inch of her body, except for her head, as usual. Her cutie mark was visible through a small glass porthole on either side, as usual. Looking around, she made a strange noise of excitement, and then jumped up into the air, at her apex, the Scramjets fired. She achieved 0 to mach 5 in half a millisecond. Off she went, zipping around the town at super-sonic speeds. Then the AZ began to hum.

"Who stepped inside?" Xylo asked quietly, looking around. Derpy instantly noticed a clear absence of orange and a cowpony hat. (Correct answer: Applejack.) After another 30 or so seconds, a fully Ascended Applejack appeared on the pad. (I just keep going don't I? Don't worry, after this, and a brief cut to Spike, this chapter will be over.) Applejack had dome-like pieces attached to the bottom of her hooves, these devices are know as PSHaMD, Planting, Seeding, Harvesting, and Moisturizing Device. Like the name entails, it plants, seed, harvests, and moistens. That sounded like a bad business salesman's motto-thing. It also does trees. Her hat was still there, except it had a metal brim. Besides those, there were two robotic pinchers, currently off, alongside a grapple cannon, a super-powered version of a grappling gun, but instead of a hook, it creates a tiny dent in space, increasing its already wide range of uses. A squarish eye-plate, was situated over her left eye, connected by wires to a point just below her left ear. Besides all this, there was plenty of blinking lights and such. She also looked surprised to be there, which was perfectly okay, in fact, it was expected. Applejack walked back to the others, walking not hindered by the PSHaMD at all.

"How do you feel?" Xylo asked, fiddling with a random screw.

"I feel..." Applejack began, like everybody else. (Oh I'M sorry, I meant everyPONY! Geez...) But unlike the rest, she couldn't find the right words, besides:

"Thank you." Elsewhere, Spike had just come to, and felt rather hungry.

"I wonder what's... Wait what's this?" He asked himself examining the letter.

"A letter? Is it for me?" He asked himself looking about. Then he made the awful mistake of looking up,

"Whaaaa..." Spike, being rather small, was genetically afraid of anything bigger than him that had a mind of its own. And plenty of massive ships were flying about in that Portal, in fact, a rather large amount... Spike didn't faint this time, instead he ran back inside, dropping the letter on the way in. It was whisked away by a breeze, through the air, and right through Rarity's window. But she was still out cold at her doorstep. (Oops.) Meanwhile, at the Steal Heart, the 3 L.O.R.D.s (Logical Omnipotent Robotic Designators.) watched through Xylo's eyes as all of this unfolded, but when they came to the part where Xylo had zoomed in on Canterlot, their nonexistent hearts skipped a metaphorical beat.

"Look who's there, Vortexcia herself." Said the first, who looks a bit like a darker, sharper, red-eyed GLaDOS.

"In the flesh." The second added, who resembles HAL on two pairs of large metal struts.

"Literally. In the flesh." The third observed, increasing the resolution to get a better look, who looks like a darker colored green and red lighted version of the Warp Core on the Enterprise in Star Trek; Insurrection.

"She isn't as pretty as she was before." The second said, slouching non-physically.

"Well, you know what the mortals say, 'You can't have your cake and eat it too.'" (I always thought Valve came up with that, it fits Portal really well!)

"I guess you're right." The second one agreed, but the first one ignored them. Instead, he said,

"Yes, but who is the white one on the balcony? And why is Vortexcia asleep?" (DUN, DUN, DUUUHHH!!!) Luna's an Assimadron!!! Oh no!!! Wait, is that even a bad thing?

...

I'm not going to answer that.

Yet.

There. The chapter's finished. I'm hoping that you're still awake, because things are about to get perilous.

WARNING!!! NEXT CHAPTER CONTAINS A TIME JUMP!!!