It's Not Gay If...

by IRpony

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Shining Armor, Sex
Length: 4494

Shining Armor loves Cadance. That's why he married her. But she doesn't understand. She could never understand. Besides, it's not gay if he really loves mares, right?

Fall in love. Get married to a princess. Live happily ever after.
That was the plan. That was always the plan.

But then something happened...
A certain changeling opened him to the possibilities. And now that Shining Armor's had a taste, he wouldn't be opposed to getting a little bit more; one way or another.

Last Warning: Clop. Despite what the title says, you know what you're getting into here. It's gay.

Originally written for the Incest is Wincest! competition. Check out the other entries HERE.

Published 2013-11-08 01:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-08 01:30:03 UTC

'Stalls Well That Ends Well

Shining knew it was wrong.

The day had gone according to plan. He had done exactly as he was expected to: walk down the aisle, marry a princess, live happily ever after. His mom and dad were extremely proud, his sister overjoyed her new sister-in-law also happened to be her childhood foalsitter, and all of Canterlot was rejoicing.

Except Shining.

There was no question: doubt had crept firmly into his mind. Why else was he here instead of with his wife?

Two days. It only took two days for him to miss it. The mare of his dreams was supposed to be Cadance. A week before, he would have acknowledged this as an unshakable truth, but that was before he learned about them. About her.

Changelings.

Okay, amending his previous statement, maybe not everything had gone according to plan. He certainly hadn’t counted on his wife getting captured, or mating with the Changeling Queen that took her place. That had been a relative embarrassment: the whole time he was busy guarding Canterlot from an attack the real threat was right under his nose.

But after the dust settled, Shining still hadn’t addressed a lingering problem. That ever since she opened him up to the idea, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He replayed the scenario in his head over and over. How could he not have known it was Chrysalis? How could he be so easily manipulated like that? He should have known the real Cadance wouldn’t be up for something so… perverted. But even saying that, deep down he knew he had enjoyed every second of it.

The first night the she had been a perfect imitation. Everything progressed as it normally would. A hot, awkward shuffling of bodies forward and back, until Shining was spent and dropped to the sweat streaked linens. But after the second or third time, still a week out from the wedding, the corruption began.

“Honey? Now that we’re going to be husband and wife, don’t you think we should get to know each other a little better?”

Shining steadied his breathing and turned to the doppleganger of his betrothed. “What do you mean?” He laughed, nervously, thinking this might be a ‘test’ or something. “I already know a lot about you. Like the fact you had braces until tenth grade. Or that your favorite flavor of ice cream is spumoni,” pulling closer, he lowered his head the groove of her neck, “or that you’re super-sensitive right under the chin…” He flicked his tongue out to tease her.

Cadance shoved him back coyly with her hooves. “No silly, not like that. I meant that we should get to know each other… sexually.” She blushed, and considering her natural hue, she must have worked up a considerable amount of courage to share this idea with partner.

Naturally, Shining was curious; but moreover, excited. This was truly something only two ponies deeply in love could share with one another. Their most secret desires. Their deviances from a perceived sexual norm. It was a surprise to Shining that she would bring up such delicate subject, as he was unsure what to share; even with the pony he trusted most. And Shining definitely didn’t want to pressure his bride-to-be with any unusual requests.

“Well, I’ve always sort of fantasized about trying, um…” Cadance raised an eyebrow as Shining sweated it out. He chose his next words carefully, deciding to share something he imagined was common among stallion fantasies, “Anal.”

This time Shining was the one to turn red. But Cadance put her hoof over his and giggled. Not exactly what he had anticipated, but it was better than the alternative.

“That’s actually pretty funny dear, because I was thinking the same.”

Shining’s ears perked up. What could she mean by that? Cadance saw the concerned look in his eyes and leaned in further.

“Don’t worry, I’ve actually heard from a lot of colts pegging feels really good.” She traced her hoof down her groom’s neck and let it trail underneath him, flicking playfully at his penis, which had no shame in getting excited at her seductive voice, regardless of what was being suggested.

“Uh, um- yes, of course…” Shining stuttered, “I’m sure there’s a lot of ponies who enjoy that.”

“So I figure if you get to do it to me, I should get to do it to you. At least once. And who knows? You might like it. Sound fair Shiny?” Cadance purred.

Shining swallowed hard. It’s not that he hadn’t thought about it, as he had heard the same. Stimulation of the prostate was supposed to feel amazing. But… that didn’t make him gay, did it? He clenched his teeth grimacing a bit. It the royal guard ever found out… No, if anypony ever found out…

“Well lets just try it,” Cadance suggested, seeing his hesitation, “and if you don’t like it, we can stop. Sound good?”

Ironic, because that was the same argument Shining was prepared to give to her had she rejected his proposal. He supposed that if anypony was going to be sticking anything ‘up there’ it might as well be his wife. Cadance took the look of defeat as consent, which it was, if only in light of the fact that he was going to get to do the same to her later. She quickly maneuvered her hooves to his posterior, being quite forthcoming with her intentions. She lifted it up to her face and delicately swished his tail out of her way with her snout. It was cute. The way his bulging scrotum and retracting pallus accented his puckered virgin hole; which was already clenching from the cold air.

“First, you need to relax,” Cadance cooed, “otherwise this isn’t going to work.”

“I mean, I’ll try my- beyaaahhhh!” Shining’s tail shot erect and his muscles contracted as Cadance dragged her tongue over his rose-budded plot. If air alone had been sensitive, this new wetness was almost unbearable. The weird sensation sent tiny spasms throughout his body, like dipping the tip of his hoof into a cold pool. His penis jumped excitedly, thumping against his belly. At least someone was enjoying it.

“Wow, geeze. Warn me next time before you’re going to- gyyahhhh!” Shining was cut off again as Cadance dove back between his cheeks.

Her tongue probed deeper this time, as her snout slipped into the crack, taking time to lubricate the inner recesses of his colon. She snorted deeply pushing a shot of air up into his rectum. Shining clenched in response, trapping his wife, but she didn’t seem to mind. Taking her time to baste the entrance of her intent with another coating of saliva.

Shining couldn’t help but elicit a moan. Loath as he was to admit, it did feel really good. Slobber dripped from his anus while Cadance feasted. Eventually, she withdrew, wiping her face to admire her work.

“Are you ready, my prince?”

“If you take it slow,” Shining pleaded.

For the first time Shining felt a pony sized pressure on his back as he was mounted. Closing his eyes, ready to submit to these new feelings, he had a curious thought.

Cadance must have planned this in advance. To have everything ready, she would have had to. It was a pretty kinky, she anticipated Shining would give in so easily, but the real question was when and where she got a strap-on. Shining took a moment to imagine a princess, walking into such a place. That must be true love. Or at the very least, lust.

Those thoughts were soon pushed from his mind as he felt something slip inside of him. She must have gotten that thing strapped on quickly. Now began a completely foreign experience. His body generously made room for the dicking. The closest thing he could compare it to was… like when he needed to relieve himself. But even on the toilet the pressure inside of him was eventually released rather than building like it was now. Still unsure whether it was actually pleasurable Shining decided if he was going to do this, he should go full bore. He reached back, grabbed his rear, and splayed his cheeks to either side. The sudden vacancy was quickly expunged as Cadance was happy to slide deeper. Now Shining could feel it. Warm: pulsing. The thing inside of him wriggled with their movement and grew slightly to better fill him.

Warm?

That was strange. After all, he had expected it to feel rather solid, not fleshy with what seemed like some grive to it. And definitely not warm.

“Uhhh, honey? What did you stick in my butt?” Shining voiced his concern.

“Oh, don’t worry sweetie. It’ll feel really good in a minute. Try not to think about it.” She pet his hair massaging the back of his scalp. “Just feel my love fill you. And in turn, help your love feed me.”

At the time Shining brushed it off. She was right. He didn’t dislike the sensation. And maybe this was just some new, magically enhanced product. Still, it seemed surprisingly accurate to what he imagined the real thing would be like rooting around his backside. It even faintly smelled like it. Cadance started to slip out, delicately starting her ministrations as Shining had asked in case of protest, but as she did, Shining involuntarily backed up on his own accord. His body desperately trying to sheath her back inside.

“Looks like somepony likes it,” she commented, breathing heavily as she started to ram up inside him again.

Shining did. He could finally understand that ‘full’ feeling ponies sometimes talked about as his cavity welcomed her again and again. It felt so bestial to allow himself to submit like this, trusting Cadance that she would only help him to feel good. The swelling appendage beneath him nodded, agreeing. His ‘backdoor’ was open for business.

Which lead to his current situation: standing before the door to one of Canterlot Castle’s fine bathrooms. It wasn’t just any bathroom though. It also held lockers, a weight room, a sauna, a lap pool, and, it was rumored to offer something else as well. This was the real reason he chose that particular bathroom anyways. He strode into the locker area with it’s welcoming humidity and delicious scent. A shiver went down his spine. His sex drive had gotten him this far, but could he really go through with something like this?

Apparently his body didn’t want him to dwell on it too long, as he proceeded down the row of stalls, combing through them to find the right one. He entered one, the third from the left, closing the door behind him. Everything looked in order: a porcelain toilet installed flush with the tile floor for ease of access and a small dispenser for sanitary napkins. Other than that the fact that the paper in the dispenser seemed of a fine quality, it was rather mundane. Thought he appreciated the larger design of Canterlot stalls, perhaps to accommodate alicorns, as they gave ample room for a pony to get comfortable. Shining seated himself on the surprisingly well kept floor and faced the toilet paper holder. GIngerly, he illuminated each screw with his magic and removed them from the wall. After he was finished, he stacked up the bits and pieces and took off the panel backing the dispenser, revealing a hole. Discretely pretending to go to the bathroom was only an option if he also ignored the obvious. And the fact that all the other stalls were empty did not lend much credence to that alibi. Especially since the hole was the right size and height for a certain protrusion to transition from the adjacent stall into his. He wondered when it would happen.

This… doesn’t make me gay, right? It’s not like I’m having a relationship with another stallion. Nopony ever has to find out about this. After all, that’s what these things are for. He reassured himself frantically trying to rationalize everything.

Fantasizing about the times with Chrysalis, and what was sure to happen again, Shining began to grow hard. She was… so good. Compared to his actual wife, the bedroom was boring. Cadance was the same innocent mare he always remembered: happily thinking that he was satisfied just getting to rut her and maybe snuggling afterwards. Not realizing that the whole time Shining was thinking about getting fucked himself. He tried to convince himself to talk with her about it, but what could he possibly say?

Honey, I really want to get porked by a dick and yes, I’d like it to be a real one. It didn’t sound good in his head. He was still getting over admitting to himself that he wanted a dick, how could he possibly expect her to take it well? Because of it, he’d gone through plenty of ‘experiments’ trying to alleviate the problem himself. On his list of devices were: his toothbrush, a flashlight, a water spigot, and pretty much any other phallic object he could get his hooves on. All tested, all failures. They really couldn’t compare. He even went so far as to research a spell for this sort of thing, wondering if and/or when Twilight had done the same. The spell was satisfactory, for awhile, but whenever he came close, it was too hard to keep up his concentration until the finish.

As he continued to reflect on how perverted he had become, the likelihood an explanation would go over well with Cadance seemed to diminish further. She would think she had married a coltcuddler. And right now they were too tied up in politics for him to spring that on her. It would be selfish to expect her reaction to be anything less than concerned, to say the least.

Suddenly, he heard the clopping of hooves echo across the tile floor. Slowly they clacked over to the row of stalls where they chose one, swung the door open, and came to a distinct stop. Shining held his breath. The air seemed to tense up as he heard the unmistakable trickle of pony pee in the stall next to him. Perhaps this pony had just coincidentally chosen the stall next to his?

His questions were answered as the stream pettered to a stop. Then, a loud banging as hooves struck the side of the stall. An inconvenienced grunt came before finally, what he had waited for appeared, waving as it filled with blood. Circumference-wise it was a tight fit. Still, Shining kept his resolve, mentally prepping by reminding himself that it would all be worth it if he could just relax and get it inside of him. He neared the phallus. As he had learned with Chrysalis, it was important to lube up before attempting anything. Since nothing else was readily available he decided his own saliva would have to make do. Closer and closer he edged to the tip until he basted it with his hot breath. The sensitive rod continued to jiggle in frustration, demanding he attend it properly. Yet, Shining could not. He told himself this was what he wanted, but if he actually sucked a stallion off... There was little argument that could it could be construed as anything other than gay. The captain of the royal guards, his future with Cadance, was he willing to risk it for a night of fun? Whatever his body said his mind argued that staying put was the wiser decision. A minute passed; then two. Shining tried to stay a quiet as possible.

“Well, it isn’t going to suck itself,” a haute voice from the other side snobbishly remarked. “Am I going to have to stand here all evening, or are you going to do your job?”

Shining’s expression dropped. Of all the ponies, could it really be… He didn’t want to speculate, so he conducted a little espionage, peeking under the crack between the wall and the floor.

A pair of hooves, expertly groomed and manicured, shaded by a fine layer of nicely trimmed hair, greeted him. In fact, the other colt was so nicely groomed, and the voice so unmistakable, that Shining was sure now there was only one pony it could be.

“BLUEBLOOD?” He gasped, scrambling back from the near side of the stall, realizing a bit too late that his whisper had become a shout.

“Wha- Who’s there? If you knew, why haven’t you attended to us yet?” Blueblood’s voice from the other stall stopped for a moment of contemplation. Shining got a sinking feeling that he knew what that meant.

“Shining? Shining Armor?”

At that Shining bucked open the bathroom stall, frantically attempting to make a run for the exit. However, Blueblood was one step ahead of him, causing Shining to collide head first into his chest.

“It is you isn’t it, brother-in-law?” The prince snickered, since his sarcastic wit had no other audience.

Shining, sprawled on the ground, rubbing his head.

“Err, hey,” he casually remarked, “I, uhhh, well…” He turned back towards the stall he just evacuated. “Did you know there was a glory-hole in there?”

“Oh don’t be so coy, Shiny,” Blueblood said doing his worst Cadance impression, “we both know exactly what you were up to in there.” He pointed down, “After all, that was my penis.”

“Well, yes. Maybe it was. And you scared me,” Shining offered sticking to his plan of playing it off as a mistake, “I was just sitting there going to the bathroom when suddenly: wham-”

Blueblood chortled loudly, simply choosing to ignore the shoddy explanation. Shining conceded it probably wasn’t very convincing. After all, he hadn’t even managed to put the toilet paper roll back together. But there was no need to be rude. Then again, look who he was talking to. “I didn’t know that my cousin was so unlucky. Her husband be unfaithful after only a few days...” A tisk-tisk clicked from between his lips. “What am I to do?”

Immediately Shining stopped droning explanations and returned his attention to his brother-in-law.This was the part he was afraid about.

“You wouldn’t…”

“I might,” Blueblood interjected. “I’m sure that as we are two reasonable ponies, I could be convinced to overlook this single transgression.”

What was this… blackmail? “But I could just say the same thing about you,” Shining countered. “You don’t think that your actions would raise suspicion either.”

Blueblood grinned again, more mischievously this time. Shining was starting to hate that. “You could do that, but then it would be your word versus mine. And are you really willing to risk it? Besides, we both know you might as well get what you came for.”

He already knew that the answer was no, he couldn’t afford to risk it. Not with Cadance or his job on the line. But Shining remained silent, pretending to consider it anyway.

“Well if we’re all in agreement about this, why don’t we move somewhere more comfortable. Like upstairs?”

Dejected that he let things get so far out of control, Shining relented. “Fine.”

Moments later Shining was sprawled across Blueblood’s bed. Legs bowed and erection on full display, the prince considered the newest member of the royal family with scrutiny. The doors to the chamber locked, Shining hoped that no matter what happened he could trust Blueblood to keep things rather surreptitious.

“Is it your first time?” Blueblood remarked going over to a dresser and sizing up a few toys in his magic like a surgeon preparing his instruments.

“No, of course not,” Shining replied with some disdain.

Blueblood rolled his eyes. “I meant outside of times with my cousin you ninny.”

“Err, yeah,” relented Shining, not bothering to count the incidental relations he’d had with Chrysalis, “I guess it is.”

“Hah!” The immaculate stallion produced a solitary scoff, “I should have known from the way you handled yourself earlier. The good news is, I think you’re going to enjoy this.”

He shut the dresser drawer closed after removing a relatively small device.

“What’s that for?” Shining asked unable to restrain his curiosity. Especially if whatever it was was going to end up inside him.

“Don’t worry it’s not for you.”

With that Blueblood came over to the bed and leaned over Shining’s body, hooves to either side. Coming down on top of him Blueblood neared Shining’s lips and came in for a little peck. The reaction he got was unexpected.

“What’s wrong? Are you scared?”

“No, it’s just. I dunno...” Shining stammered backing off from the kiss, “I’ve never expressed any feelings for another stallion before. I always just expected action.”

Blueblood backed off from his kiss, raising an eyebrow provocatively. “That’s cute. If you’re so eager let’s just skip to the good part.”

This time Blueblood joined Shining on the bed, twisting his body overtop of his partner’s till either pony’s member dangled in front the other’s face. Blueblood immediately swallowed his share, taking the lengthening erection into his mouth with a greedy suck. The flavors mixed well with the prince’s refined tastes. Wrapping his tongue along the shaft of his treat he divined what he imagined to be hints of his cousin. How exotic to get the flavors of two ponies in one.

Shining was less ecstatic about the presentation of his. The phallus swung wildly as Blueblood bobbed up and down on the other side of Shining. It was only fair that he return the favor, but…

“Don’t worry too much,” Blueblood said, taking a break, “It’s not as hard as anything you’ve ever done to Cadance. Just do what comes naturally.”

Naturally, sure. Whatever that meant. What, exactly, was natural about two stallions going at each other on a bed?

Blueblood could see his partner’s hesitation again. “Fine. I see you’re going to need a little convincing.”

At that the prince turned Shining over, blue tail flowing outwards, and lowered his snout between Shining’s cheeks. A lap across his pert pooper sent shivers racing up Shining’s spine. It was just like those times with Chrysalis. Responding well to the treatment, his anus allowed entry to Blueblood’s masterful tongue, working to carve a space for what was yet to come. Shining’s tail flicked with anticipation as his partner trailed his tongue up to the root of the hairs. Spending a solid minute there attempting to slick them like an artist with a new paintbrush. Eventually, Blueblood worked his way back down and made one last effort to bury his face in Shining’s rear.

“Gaahhh, ease up a bit,” Shining moaned, obviously enjoying himself.

“It looks like you have done this before,” Blueblood noted as Shining’s ass clenched waiting for something to enter.

Scooting up Shining’s backside, Blueblood used magic to splay apart Shining’s asscheeks. Stallionhood fully erect, it teased the hole, getting another gasp from Shining. Right before breaking the surface, Blueblood bit down hard on his lover’s ear. Shining yelped in pain as his butt jiggled, penis finding it’s way inside.

The sensation felt amazing. This was what Shining had been missing the whole time. A slow pace began to churn his insides. Going back and forth in the comfortable rocking motion he’d grown more accustomed to setting for himself, though he didn’t mind Blueblood taking the lead.

Blueblood made sure to get his length all the way in, his balls slapping against Shining signified a job well done. The prince lowered his head down onto Shining’s fine white coat. Obviously not as well kept as his own, but still it was nice to have a pair of strong shoulders to wedge himself between. Being in the military had certainly paid dividends.

As the pace quickened, Shining couldn’t help but pant. Stuffed full of his brother-in-law each time the phallus tried to vacate the passage Shining would squeeze down as hard as he could allowing his rectum to memorize each curve and bump on Blueblood’s penis. Actually, Shining was sure that the cockflare on the tip was making him hornier, an accessory he hadn’t experienced with imposter Cadance, but was glad to experience now. In turn his own member bulged underneath him, flapping around with the pace of their movement.

That's when it happened. All of a sudden a tingling sensation exploded inside Shining. He wasn't sure at first, but as the vibrations continued down Blueblood's penis, it was all but confirmed.

So that's what that thing was, Shining figured, a vibrator.

And indeed, a vibrator was currently plugged in Blueblood's tight tush. Sending wave after wave of enjoyment to be shared between the two interlocking stallions. Blueblood's horn illuminated brightly for a second and the intensity increased.

Presently, Shining felt Blueblood’s strokes get more spasmodic, even more so than with the vibrator. Wildly, the two went at each other giving into the desperation and completely ruining the bead-spead as fabric tore beneath their flailing hooves. All at once, Prince Blueblood’s erection grew harder and larger, before it shivered: a telltale sign.

Shining was rewarded for a job well done with fresh spunk as it pumped furiously into his ass. The head of Blueblood’s cock flared inside the passage, making sure every delicious ounce of sperm sloughed into Shining’s lower intestine. Gloriously, Shining coddled its warmth in his colon, mouth ajar in a face of stupid bliss. A pop came and the filling leaked back out with a slurp. Blueblood disengaged Shiny’s loosened anus and dangled limply, breathing hard. Both of them collapsed to the bed.

“That… that was just what I needed,” Shining commented, spurts of ejaculate still dripping from his excitement. The pleasure of the moment had compounded his lust,seeding cum all over the sheets. Actually, looking down at Blueblood Shining found he was rather attractive, for a stallion.

“I agree,” Blueblood said, tapping his cock once or twice with his hoof to send a few last jolts of ecstasy through his body. “I’m glad to see that you’ve gotten over those silly inhibitions. My cousin is a very lucky mare.”

For once, something felt right about the whole thing. Maybe it was actually okay to give in once in awhile to the urges. Sure Shining still had his doubts but, in the end he still liked mares. At least he was pretty sure.

“We’ve got to do this more often,” suggested Blueblood, still leaking a little bit. Unable to look away from the object of his desire, Shining swallowed hard.

“Well, since we’re already dirty,” he said coyly, “how about we go again?”

Cadance sat in the honeymoon suite. Staring out the window confused. She wondered where Shiny had been all day. It wasn’t a complaint, as most of the day had been wasted on ‘royal business’ and getting ready for their transition to the Crystal Empire, but still.

“Meh,” she concluded, knowing her husband would turn up eventually, “he’s probably just out doing drills with the boys.”