A few miles south of Trottingham, the Equestria river drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green. The water is warm too, for it has slipped twinkling over the yellow sands in the sunlight before reaching the narrow pool. On the sandy bank under the trees the leaves lie deep and so crisp that a cockatrice makes a great skittering if he moves among them.
There is a path through the willows and among the sycamores, a path beaten hard by colts coming down from the ranches to swim in the deep pool, and beaten hard by mares who come wearily down from the highway in the evening to jungle-up near water.
They had trotted in single file down the path, and even in the open one stayed behind the other. Both wore no clothes, because they were horses, and that would be silly, unless they were at some special event. The first mare had an orange mane and a bright yellow coat, with restless eyes and was an Earth-Pony. Behind her was her opposite. She was a Pegasus with a grey coat, yellow mane, and two lazy eyes, and she trotted heavily, dragging her hooves a little, the way a bear drags their paws.
The first mare stopped short in the clearing, and the follower nearly ran over her. She took of her hat and wiped the sweatband with her hoof and shook the moisture off. Her derped companion flung herself down and drank from the surface of the green pool; drank with long gulps, snorting into the water like a human. The Earth-Pony trotted nervously beside her.
"Derpy!" she said sharply. "Derpy, for Celestia's sake don't drink so much." Derpy continues to snort into the pool. The orange mare leaned over and shook her by the shoulder. "Derpy. You're going to be sick like you were last night!"
Derpy dipperd her whole head under, and then she sat up on the bank. "That's good," she said. "You drink some Carrot Top. You take a good big drink." She smiled happily as her eyes slowly moved away from each other.
Derpy dabbled her hoof in the water and shook it a little so the water arose in little splashes; rings widened across the pool to the other side and came back again. Derpy watched them go. "Look, Carrot Top. Look what I done."
Carrot Top knelt beside the pool and drank from it. "Tastes all right," she admitted. "Doesn't look like it's running, though. You shouldn't ever drink water when it isn't running, Derpy," she said hopelessly. "You'd drink out of the gutter if you were thirsty." she threw a scoop of water into her muzzle and rubbed it about with her hoof. Then she pushed herself back from the river, drew up her hind legs, and embraced them, sitting like Lyra. Derpy, who had been watching, imitated Carrot Top exactly. She pushed herself back, drew up her knees, embraced them, and looked over to Carrot Top to see whether she had done it just right.
Carrot Top stared morosely at the water. The rims of her eyes were red with sun glare. She said angrily, "We could just as well have ridden clear down to the ranch if that bastard bus driver knew what he was talking about. 'Just a little stretch down the highway,' he says. 'Just a little stretch.' Celestia damn near four miles, that's what it was! Didn't want to stop at the ranch gate, that's what. Too Celestia damned lazy to pull up. It's a wonder he isn't too damn good to stop in Trottingham at all. Kicks us out and says, 'Just a little stretch down the road.' I bet it was more than four miles. Damn hot day."
Derpy looked Timidly over to Carrot Top. "Carrot Top?"
"Yeah, what do you want?"
"Where we goin', Carrot Top?"
Carrot Top scowled at Derpy. "So you forgot that already, did you? I need to tell you again? Sweet Celestia, you're a crazy bastard!"
"I forgot," Derpy said softly. "I tried not to forget. Honest to Celestia I did, Carrot Top."
"O.K. -- O.K. I'll tell you again. I don't have anything to do, so I might as well spend my time telling you things, and then you forget, and I have to tell you again."
"Tried and tried," said Derpy, "but it didn't do no good. I remember about the muffins, Carrot Top."
"The hell with the muffins. That's all you ever can remember. O.K.! Now you listen, and this time you need to remember so we don't get into any trouble. You remember sitting in that gutter on Horseward street and watching the blackboard?"
Derpy's face broke into a delighted smile. "Why sure, Carrot Top, I remember that . . . but . . . what'd we do then? I remember some stallions come by and you says . . . you say . . . "
"The hell with what I said! You remember about us going into Mustang and Rider's, and they gave us work cards and bus tickets?"
"Oh sure, Carrot Top. I remember that now." She reached quickly into her saddlebags. She said gently, "Carrot Top . . . I ain't got mine. I musta lost it."
"You never had one you crazy bastard. I have both of ours right here. You think I'd let you carry your own work card?"
Derpy grinned with relief. "I thought I put it in my saddlebags." She put her hoof into the saddlebag again.
Carrot Top looked sharply at her. "What did you take out of that bag?"
"Ain't a thing in my bag." Derpy said, cleverly.
"I know there isn't, you have it in your hoof. What is it that you're hiding?"
"I ain't got nothin, Carrot Top. Honest."
"Come on, give it to me."
Derpy held her hoof away from Carrot Top's direction. "It's only an muffin rock."
"A muffin rock? You mean a stale muffin?"
"Uh-uh. Jus' a stale muffin, Carrot Top. I didn't make it stale. Honest! I found it. I found it stale."
"Give it to me!" said Carrot Top.
"Aw leave me have it, Carrot Top."
"Give. It. To. Me!"
Derpy's hoof slowly obeyed. Carrot Top grabbed the muffin and threw it across the pool to the other side, among the brush. "Why would you want a stale muffin anyways?"
"I could pet it with my hoof while we walked along." said Derpy.
"Well, you aren't going to be petting any stale muffins while you walk with me. Do you remember where we're going now?"
Derpy looked startled and then in embarrassment held her face against her forelegs. "I forgot again."
"Oh for Celestia's sake," Carrot Top said resignedly. "Well. Look, we're going to work on a ranch like the one we came from up north."
"Up north?"
"In Steed."
"Oh, sure. I remember. In Steed."
"The ranch we're going to is down this road about a quarter mile. We're going to go in and see the boss. Now look, I'll give him the work tickets, but you can't say a word. You just stand there and don't say anything. If he finds out what a crazy bastard you are, we won't get the job., but if he sees you work before he hears you talk, we're set. You understand?"
"Sure, Carrot Top. Sure. I got it."
"O.K. Now when we go in to see the boss, what are you going to do?"
"I . . . I," Derpy thought. Her face grew tight with thought. "I . . . Aint gonna say nothin. Jus gonna stand there."
"Good girl. That's swell. You say that over two, three times so you're sure you won't forget it."
Derpy droned to herself softly, "I ain't gonna say nothin' . . . I ain't gonna say nothin' . . . I ain't gonna say nothin'."
"O.K.," said Carrot Top. "And you aren't going to do stupid things like you did back in Steed either."
Derpy looked puzzled. "Like I done in Steed?"
"Oh, so you forgot that, too, did you? Well I'm not going to remind, in case you decide to do it again."
A light of understanding broke out on Derpy's face.
"They run us outta Steed," she exploded triumphantly.
"Run us out, hell," said Carrot Top disgustedly. "We ran. They were looking of us, but they didn't catch us."
Derpy giggled happily. "I didn't forget that, you bet."
Carrot Top lay back on the sand and crossed her front hooves under her head, and Derpy imitated her. "Celestia, you're a lot of trouble," said Carrot Top. "I could get along so well if I didn't have you on my tail. I could have an easy life, maybe get a nice stallion."
For a moment Derpy lay quiet, and then she said hopefully, "We gonna work on a ranch, Carrot Top."
"You got that right, but we're going to sleep here, and I have my own reasons for that."
The day was going fast now. Only the tops of the Gallopilan mountains flamed with the light of Celestia's sun that had gone from the valley. A Steven Magnet slipped along on the pool, it's fabulous mustache held up like a little periscope. The reeds jerked slightly in the current. Far off in the distance, toward the highway, a pony shouted something, and another pony shouted something back.
"Carrot Top, why ain't we goin' on to the ranch and get some supper? They got supper at the ranch."
Carrot Top rolled onto her side. "No reason at all for you. I like it here. Tomorrow we're going to go to work. I saw some thrashing machines on the way down. That means we'll be bucking grain bags. Tonight, though, I'm just gonna look up at the stars. I like t."
Derpy sat up and looked down at Carrot Top. "Ain't we gonna have no supper?"
"Sure we are, if you gather up some dead willow sticks. I have three cans of beans in my saddlebag. If you get a fire ready, we can have them for supper.
Derpy said "I like beans with muffins."
"Well, we don't have any damn muffins," Carrot Top explodedand then exploded again.. "Whatever we don't have, that's what you want. Celestia almighty, if I was alone I could live so easy. I could go get a job and work with no trouble. No mess at all, and when the end of the month came I'd take my fifty bits and go into the town and buy whatever I wanted. Why, I could stay in a cat house all night. I could eat anyplace I wanted, hotel or any place, and order any damn thing I please." Derpy looked over the fire at Carrot Top's face. Derpy's face was drawn with terror. "And what do I get," Carrot Top went on. "I get you! You can't keep a job and you lose me every job I get. I wish I could put you in a cage with about a million muffins and let you have fun." Her anger left her suddenly. She looked across the fire at Derpy's anguished face, and then looked ashamedly at the flames.
It was quite dark now, but the fire lighted the trunks of the trees and the curving branches overhead. Derpy crawled slowly and cautiously around the fire until she was close to Carrot Top.
"Carrot Top," very softly. No answer. "Carrot Top!"
"What do you want?"
"I was only foolin', Carrot Top. I don't want no muffins. I wouldn't eat no muffins if it was right here beside me."
"If one was here, you could have it."
"But I wouldn't eat none, Carrot Top. I'd leave all of it for you. You could have it with your beans, and I wouldn't touch none of it. You could cover yourself in jelly, and I wouldn't get in any of it. I wouldn't even lick it off to go with my muffins. Why I'd even le-"
"Derpy," Carrot Top interrupted.
"Yeah?"
"Shut up and go to sleep."
A time passed before Derpy spoke up again.
"Carrot Top, you asleep?"
"No, Derpy. What do you want?"
"Let's have different color muffins."
". . . Sure," Carrot Top said groggily. "Red and blue and green and pink muffins, Derpy. Millions of them."
"Shut up, blasphemer! Muffins don't come in blue, red, green, or pink! Those are cupcakes!"
"Derpy. . . Shut up."
"Sorry Carrot Top."
Carrot Top then put out the fire and both she and Derpy fell asleep. Obviously, Derpy dreamed sweet dreams of muffins.
