Okay so here we are with Chrysalis's…sorry, Chrissy's second chappy!

I hope you're prepared for some more dry humor and Twibashing, because this chapter will be filled to the brim with all of it.

That being said, expect the third chapter roughly two days after this one. I like to leave a day or two for any chapter to sink in…save for T.E.N, but I'm working on that one. I'm 2586 words into it so far, but am leaving it be for now.

I wanna keep on rolling with this story while it's fresh in my mind.

So without further ado…

Begin!

Damn it Get Aroused Already

It had been a few days since that amusing meeting between myself and Richard.

I did originally plan to go and visit him the day after, but found myself suddenly ravenous and decided to pick up a rather desperate stallion, who was way too easy to seduce, called Flash Sentry.

After I'd managed to successfully get him under my natural charm and into bed, I deviously began to suck the lust out of him.

And yes, exactly in the way you're thinking.

It wasn't all bad though. Flashy got to relieve some tension and I got a full stomach for the next day or two. He was kept alive too.

No really, I left him sleeping like a fucking baby.

Win, win situation if you ask me.

So yeah, I was on my way to the address Richard had given me. My goal to successfully get him to impregnate me was still on the top of my to-do list, and I didn't meet any fertile stallions between the tavern and then.

Or at least not as fertile as he was.

I arrived in Rosebud Avenue after a short distance of walking from the hotel I was staying in.

Bits were relatively simple to acquire, especially when all I had to do was take up a different form, bat my eyelashes a few times, bend over…and then knock them out and steal whatever they had on them.

I always made sure to change into somepony long dead mind you, otherwise I risked attracting the wrong kind of attention from those who knew a little too much about changelings.

There was another way I was getting bits, but mugging stallions with stiffies was way too much fun to pass up.

As I walked up to number seventeen, the door suddenly opened with yelling quickly following.

"If you come here again then I swear to god, I will shove that letter so far up your ass that you'll be shitting out the wrong end!"

Twilight Sparkle suddenly ran out of the house and sped past me in fear, tears streaming down her face and a small scroll in her mouth.

I watched her turn the corner, accompanied by a white flash, signifying that she had just teleported. I turned back around and cocked a curious eyebrow at Richard's slightly red face.

Oh there it was again…Mhmm, that delicious anger.

Upon noticing me, he quickly cleared his throat and allowed a small grin to adorn his face.

"So…tea, coffee, cider or whisky?" he asked smoothly.

I smirked at his utter lack of care towards his previous situation. To be honest he kind of reminded me of…well, me.

"It's eleven in the morning and you're offering alcohol," I chided sternly.

He cocked an eyebrow at this and shrugged, although that small grin of his didn't fade.

"And?" he asked bluntly.

I chuckled brazenly and strutted past him into his house, before looking back and winking flirtatiously.

"In that case, a cider would be fine."

He nodded and closed the door absentmindedly, completely ignoring the oh so subtle wink I'd just bestowed upon him.

"He's either the most oblivious male I've ever met or he just doesn't give a crap."

To be honest, I wouldn't be too surprised if it was the latter. But they don't call me "Hot flank Chrysalis" for nothing, and I'd be damned if I couldn't wiggle and make him blush at least a little.

"Just head on into the living room," he said conversationally. "I'll be there in a sec."

I nodded and made my way into his living room, making sure to shake my flank just a little as I did so.

To my continued dismay however, my feelers picked up no arousal, just small waves of residual anger and long faded lust.

"Mhmm, looks like I should have come by earlier," I contemplated, my tummy giving a small rumble in agreement.

The long faded lust wasn't so hard to figure out, after all even I pleasure myself from time to time.

It serves no purpose, but it's satisfying and I do have needs like everyone else.

Upon entering his living room, I sat down on the nearest couch and looked at my surroundings.

It was a fairly simple room, containing two couches, a bookshelf with little books in it, a small coffee table and a glass door that showed a garden outside.

"Hmm, it's kind of cosy." I thought distractedly.

Richard came in a few moments later, a clear glass cup full of cider in one hand and a can of the stuff in another.

"Here you go," he said, passing me the cup which I quickly grasped with my magic.

He sat down on the couch opposite me and started sipping from his can. I quickly picked up his frustration, but narrowed it down to not knowing what to say.

"Okay Chrysalis. You're a Queen, you've been at this for a little over two hundred years, you're currently smoking hot and your targeted male has no idea what to say. This should be an easy lay."

I broke out of my thoughts with a small nod, before smiling sultrily at Richard and beginning the conversation that was sure to make him fuck me silly.

"Mhmm it tastes delicious Richie," I purred seductively as I sipped the surprisingly nice tasting liquid, making sure to half lid my eyes as he looked over in my direction.

I could see it now. He would stammer and blush like a choir colt. I would take advantage of this and slowly make my way over to him, where I would then slowly touch and rub various parts of his body whilst absentmindedly flirting.

He would inevitably rise to the occasion, which I would point out, reprimand cheekily and then effortlessly begin to help him with.

The rest as they say, would be history.

Unfortunately…

"I know right, I got them buy one get one free at Bargain Booze," he informed happily…not a bloody trace of red anywhere on his face. "And Richie? How did you know that was my nickname?"

"Wait what?"

"I u-uh…lucky guess," I stammered hopefully.

Richard raised an eyebrow curiously, but shrugged and went back to drinking his cider.

"How the heck did that not work?" I thought disbelievingly. "I've done this with at least four other stallions and they gained erections so fast, they nearly passed out from dizziness."

I hated to admit it, but this human was tough and apparently impervious to my sexy wiles.

"No, I won't give up this easily. Every stallion has become putty in my hooves and this one will not break that chain. I will just have to step it up a notch, get a little touchy feely."

"So what brings you here on this fine morning?" Richard asked, snapping me out of my internal rant.

"You swayed me with the promise of decent cider," I quipped, simultaneously giving myself a mental slap for not staying on track.

"Really?" he asked, grinning widely as he took another sip from his can. "And here I thought we hit off so well, but alas…tis the cider."

"Is he flirting…or not?" I pondered hesitantly.

My feelers weren't picking up any flirtatious emotion, just playfulness. But it could have just been his way of flirting…or perhaps he was just as unaware to himself flirting as he was when he was flirted with.

"Flirting without knowing you're flirting…this one is just full of surprises."

I shook my head slightly before deciding on yet another approach.

A more subtle, slow yet dastardly clever one if I say so myself.

One that was so complex, so diverse and cunning that I had to resist fanning myself with a hoof.

Namely…Befriending then fucking.

Oldest trick in the book. No really, look in the book store on Blueblood Street.

"Top five ways to befriend and rut somepony", by Chrissy Love Bug.

It's actually quite a hit, pays me too.

I just mug because it's funny; I dislike ponies and the sight of an unconscious stallion waving his dick in the air is too good to miss.

"So what was that all about before?" I asked, referring to the arrogant unicorn who happened to spoil my plans and thus bring about the death of my children.

Sure I could make another family…but to brush them aside as if they meant nothing to me…

I felt every death and it hurt me so much…they were my babies no matter how old they were.

I might come off as uncaring and sarcastic, but that's just with ponies. When it comes to my children then the mask is off and I'm…well, different. I treat them all with love and kindness, feed them before myself and try to make their lives happy.

It'd be easier if I had a mate. But to do so, I would have to find a pony or at a stretch a griffon…and infuse my blood into their body via my fangs.

You wouldn't believe how many Vampony stories that brought on a few centuries before I was born.

I could force them if I so pleased, but to be honest I don't want any of their kind becoming a King. Not only do I doubt that they could handle the responsibility, but a changeling's life is bloody, hard and sometimes terrifying.

Griffons would be more suited, but they tend to hunt us like animals. Ponies are too soft and dislike us because we're different.

Ponies dislike change, it's a common fact and everyone knows it.

…Have I been ranting?

Anyway!

Richard just rolled his eyes and put his half empty can down on the coffee table.

"It's really stupid Chrissy," he said dismissively.

"But I like stupid," I joked wittily.

He snorted in amusement and grinned widely, before relaxing and placing his hands behind his head.

"Alright then, but try not to laugh too much okay?" he asked drolly.

"No promises," I replied teasingly. "But I'll try."

He smirked at this, but became somewhat serious as he began to explain.

"Okay then, here's the deal," he started. "Sparkle somehow brought me to this world about six months ago. It was a rather…angry time for me, but I was eventually satisfied with her mistresses…sorry, mentors promise to find a way to send me back."

"I take it they're still finding a way?" I asked curiously, only to fight a flinch and a purr at the sudden spike of anger in his emotions.

"Not anymore," he growled quietly. "You see there's some sort of problem with the stallions here. They can't seem to get any mare up the duff. So Celestia's top scientists have been trying to find a solution to it, you know, mixing different Dna from different species to try and man up the baby batter."

"That makes sense," I admitted hesitantly.

"Apparently," he agreed half-heartedly. "But it hadn't been working at all, nothing came of it. However one day, Twilight decided to bring up a clever idea to use me. I saw no harm in it because I didn't think it would work, you know, me being as far from Equine as possible and all."

I could see where this was going.

"But apparent I was wrong," I sighed bitterly. "Apparently my sauce goes well with your chips, because I had Celestia and her sister practically begging me to help them. They told me it would take a few years, but if I agreed then I could save their race from dying out."

"I take it you weren't very happy about their oh so wise decision?" I teased harmlessly.

He coughed up a laugh and shook his head, his emotions mixed between mirth and bitter rage.

"No I wasn't," he confirmed. "All I wanted was to go home and they wanted to keep me as a sperm donor for a few years. So I refused, told them this wasn't my problem and that they should at least have the common decency to send me back from where Twilight stole me."

I was surprisingly curious about their reaction to this, so remained quiet and nodded for him to continue, sipping from my glass every so often.

"They…didn't agree with me on this however," he continued tiredly. "They ended up telling me that if I ever wanted to go home then I would have to do as they said. I told them to go fuck themselves and left the castle. Twilight caught up with me, sympathised, dated and ended up having her baby dragon unwillingly reveal via letter, that she was only doing so because Celestia wanted to keep me inside the Equestrian border."

I examined his emotions as I took in all he had said. I found anger, slight depression and bitterness to be the biggest amongst the others.

To be honest, I was shocked that the prissy princesses had the stones to do what they did. I understood why they were blackmailing him. They needed to save their race and I understood…even if I was a laughing at the sudden twist in roles between us.

I needed to save my race and was blasted into the sky because of it…although I could have been a little more diplomatic I suppose. But Celestia would have weaved so many legal binds that I would have been in her debt until the day I died.

But here, Celestia needed Richard to save her race and he was refusing…or did she find a way after all?

"So I take it you aren't beating your meat for her then?" I asked nonchalantly, breaking out into a grin as he choked a little on his drink.

Once he'd finished coughing, he looked at me and shrugged in slight defeat.

"Well…yeah kind of," he admitted.

I cocked an eyebrow at him questioningly before waving a hoof at him to explain.

"Well when I broke up with Twilight the other day, Celestia sent me a letter along with a bag stuffed with bits. The letter basically had her explaining that she would continue to send me money as long as I agreed to…comply and visit the castle once a week. In return she would grant me citizenship which would allow me to legally buy or rent a house."

"She trapped you in an ultimatum," I figured out. "You had nowhere to go now that you weren't with the unicorn, so she forced you to choose. Between either helping her with that little fertility project or living on the streets."

"Pretty much," he agreed. "She even sent me a letter thanking me earlier. Then Twilight showed up about an hour afterwards with another letter from Celestia saying that she'd pay me more if I agreed to move back in with Twilight and allow her to harmlessly experiment on me."

"I take it that's when you told her to…"

"Shove it up her ass," he finished. "Yeah pretty much."

I remained silent as I mulled over the recent information. Killing him after sex would have to be discarded now, especially since he was under Celestia's gaze and was apparently supposed to save their race.

"That would put him at the top of her priorities," I admitted in annoyance.

I was so in depth with my thoughts, that what happened next rendered me stunned.

"Wanna go out and see a movie?" Richard asked candidly.

"W-What?" I stuttered in surprise.

"A movie, tonight, at that little black and white screening everyone is going on about?" he explained, apparently blind to my shock.

I swiftly yet with some difficulty, managed to reel in my emotions and mull over his suggestion.

"A movie? Hmm, it could be a good way to try and arouse his affection, hopefully in both ways."

I smoothly adopted a rather suggestive expression and lidded my eyes sultrily.

"Mhmm, it sounds like a wonderful idea Richie," I agreed provocatively.

"Brilliant," he chirped happily. "It's about…wow, okay one o'clock now. So why don't you do the female thing, go and get ready for five minutes and meet up here at around seven?"

…Seriously?

I had the voice, the looks, the positioning and the right words.

Yet I still felt no excitement beyond the idea of seeing a movie with me.

"I am going to get him aroused if I have to bend over and pleasure myself in front of him to do it!" I vowed mentally.

It was almost disgraceful. I was a practically a sex goddess and yet Richard was the one being that refused to get it up no matter what I did!

None the less, I agreed and gave him a kiss on the cheek on my way out.

And do you know what happened?

He blushed!

It was very faint but he blushed!

"And I am getting way to excited over this." I chided myself. "He is a walking baby maker, a snack, nothing to feel so happy about…victorious maybe, but not so happy."

The next few hours were spent changing my form's mane and tail style. I was originally going to keep the long, cascading mane that went down to my midsection. But I eventually decided on shortening both of them a little bit, while still keeping it all young and attractive.

I arrived back at his home a little before seven and knocked on the door. I wasn't wearing anything, although I did nearly decide on a pretty little dress. But in the end I decided to go all natural. How else was I supposed to accidently lift my tail every so often?

The door opened and I was greeted with the sight of a topless Richard. To my delightful surprise, he was actually quite well built. Not overly so, but enough to show that he was well in shape.

"See anything you like?" he asked playfully, yet again with no apparent knowledge of flirtation as he did so.

"How is that even possible?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Maybe I do," I teased, throwing him a saucy wink for good measure.

He chuckled deeply before turning around and grabbing a black and white checkered shirt from a radiator and chucking it on.

He then walked outside and shut the door behind him, looking at me with a small grin as he passed me a cream coloured ticket.

I took it and looked down at what it had to say.

One Ticket To See "My Life Keeps Changeling"

Showing Is At Seven Thirty.

Please Show To The Ticket Salespony On Your Way In.

I blinked at the title in shock and a little honest fear.

"Did he figure out what I am?!" I thought frantically. "No, no, no. He's the most fertile male around, there won't be anyone else like him. Everyone else is…insufficient!"

I was snapped out of my mental breakdown by a warm hand landing on my back gently.

"You okay?" Richard asked worriedly. "You look a little pale Chrissy. Are you sure you're up for this?"

Ahh satisfaction. The concerned, worried emotions coming from him were overall entirely pleasant. It's not love, but it's still nice.

But best of all, they showed that he had no idea of the implications I'd conceived from the ticket.

"I-I'm fine Richie," I lied effortlessly. "I just felt a little dizzy is all, nothing to worry about."

He looked at me with a scrutinizing gaze, but eventually smiled and nodded for the two of us to being walking.

The concerned emotions my feelers had picked up however…did not waver for a while.

We eventually arrived at a rather large mass of ponies, all of them lined up outside a huge building.

"Well…this looks popular," Richard quipped dryly, slight amusement and annoyance radiating from him.

I nudged him with my flank and smirked flirtatiously as my…fourth or fifth plan that night, went into motion.

"It's not so bad Richie," I purred enticingly. "It is a bit cold though…do you mind if we get a little closer?"

I wasn't lying about the cold either. It didn't bother me much, changelings have to bear all conditions if they are to survive after all. But from the goosebumps on his arms, I could tell that he wasn't faring so well.

Thus getting closer would allow me to rub up against him, tempting him silently, whilst also helping him get a little warmer.

Win, win really.

"Sure thing," he agreed, moving closer and wrapping his right arm around me, his hand ending up just a touch above my tummy.

I failed to repress the aroused shiver that wracked my sexy form.

Richard seemed to take this as me being cold however, and thus gripped me just that little tighter.

Do you know how hard it is for me to supress a purr? Especially when it is literally dying to come out?

It's difficult!

The line eventually began to shorten and about fifteen minutes later, we reached the ticket pony.

She was a small, plump older unicorn, that gave off the nice sensation of kindness with some minor arrogance, barely mentionable because all the unicorns in Canterlot had it.

That was until she saw Richard however.

I instantly felt the change through my feelers, kindness mutating into fear and slight…disgust.

"Ma'am you aren't allowed to bring any pets into the theatre," she chided snidely, not even paying the now annoyed Richard a glance.

"Excuse me?" I asked, irritation and…ire somehow easing their way into my voice.

"Your pet," she explained slowly, pointing a Richard. "He's not allowed in. This is a pony only showing."

I've always prided myself for my ability to lie effortlessly and keep calm in any situation. But this situation…was different somehow, even if I had no idea why.

I mean Richard was a means to an end, nothing more…and yet I could not deny the urge I felt to magically backhoof that mare into next week.

Protective…that's the only word I can think of when I remember this, because it's exactly what I felt in that moment.

Even if it made little sense, I barely knew him!

"So sorry to disappoint you sweetheart but he is not my pet!" I growled furiously. "He is a friend and under my and Princess Celestia's watch. So I'm going to count to three and if you don't stand aside then not only will it cost you your job, but you may just lose a limb."

I said the words with such conviction that the mare's fear swiftly rose by quite a bit.

"Y-Yes ma'am, I'm sorry ma'am," she spluttered pathetically. "Please g-go right in and h-have a good time ma'am."

I narrowed my eyes and stared at her until she began to sweat, before darting my eyes up to a very amused Richard and back again.

"O-Oh and you too sir!" she added frantically, thrusting a voucher of some kind into his left hand. "Just hoof it to the food till and you'll get a free box of large popcorn!"

The mare quickly stood aside as we walked past her. I looked back and smirked at her frightened and flushed face, which only became more so once she realized I was still looking at her.

"Thanks for that," Richard said gratifyingly, causing my gaze to snap back onto his as he stopped walking.

"It…it was no trouble," I replied quietly…almost shyly?

"Get a grip on yourself mare!" I scolded myself crossly. "He is a lay, a simple male and nothing more."

Wasn't he?

"We should…go and see this movie," I advised cheerfully.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I've never really heard much about changelings other than the invasion that happened before I showed up, so this should be interesting."

"Interesting?" I ribbed sarcastically. "It's about changelings Richie, it's going to be the best movie in the world."

One movie later.

"That was the absolute worst piece of shit I have ever had to burn my eyes with!" I raged angrily.

The move was bloody dreadful. They got almost everything wrong with the changeling physiology and way of life.

"Changelings do not sparkle in the moonlight!" I continued ranting. "And a Queen does NOT have a dick and a snatch! A Queen is called a Queen for a reason! A King has a dick not a Queen!"

Richard was just laughing at my angry ranting. I couldn't fault him though, he had no idea how insulting that movie was to my kind and probably took me for an obsessed fanmare or something.

"Hey Chrissy?" he drawled teasingly.

"Don't you dare!" I growled, glaring up at him in annoyance.

"Is your Queen in another castle?" he continued anyway, resulting in a sharp slap to the stomach.

He just took it and laughed some more.

Honestly though, the movie was so abysmal that I stopped trying to flirt with Richie about ten minutes into it.

I was so stuck in my ranting and raving that I didn't even notice that we were standing outside the hotel where I was staying until he stopped walking.

I looked up at him questioningly and got a flurry of emotions in response.

Amusement and happiness were most prominent.

"It's the nearet hotel in Canterlot," he explained. "You told me a few days back that you didn't have a home, so I guessed you were bunking here."

"Heh, smart male."

"I do…and thanks," I said, an honest smile worming its unwanted way onto my muzzle.

He hadn't been returning any of my affections that night…but I'd had a fun time and made some progress. I'd just have to be patient and-

I was wrested from my thoughts by the feeling of Richard's lips on my own. It was brief, but carried a large wave of affection with it. Unfortunately he moved away before I could return it, winking at me slyly before turning and walking away, his hand high in the air and waving at me in goodbye.

"Cya later Chrissy, good night," he said mirthfully.

I was still so stunned from the sudden kiss that I didn't say anything, merely watching instead as he turned a corner and vanished from view.

I moved a hoof up to my lips and touched them gently, the warmth of his own lips combined with his affection still lingering.

"What just happened?"

Author's Note

And there's the second chapter!

Next time on Never Judge! -

A Few Months Have Passed!

Ice Skating With Awkward Accidents!

Cya then!