My Little Pony: Love is Blind

I stare inside my dark empty mailbox. It’s just a cold reminder that I’m going to waste my day doing paperwork instead of solving crimes. The mailbox has been empty for almost a week. It seems like nopony needs a detective anymore.

“Are there any reports, Sprinklejinx?” Thunderwing asks hovering over me.

“Not today.” I reply as I levitate the door on the mailbox shut.

“Three more weeks until Octavia’s concert.” Thunderwing says trying to look on the bright side of things.

“You’re still counting?” I ask. I pour myself a cup of hot chocolate and begin my paperwork. Organizing the criminal records from A through Z is a boring and tedious task, but I guess it puts food on the table.

“Did you hear that Twilight Sparkle became an alicorn?”Honey Flower asks. It must be cool to be an alicorn. If I were an alicorn I would be able to use magic and fly. Controlling the weather must be useful too. I feel sorry for earth ponies. They seem to get the short end of the stick. I know some ponies say that growing crops makes them special. It doesn’t seem very hard to bury seeds and water them. Even if earth ponies didn’t exist there would be plenty of grass to eat. They have no way to defend themselves if they were attacked by a timberwolf or a hydra. Due to natural selection, not as many earth ponies will be around in the future. It’s a shame because Honey Flower and Weakling are nice ponies.

“She did?” I ask after taking a sip of my drink. The hot chocolate scalds my tongue. I should have waited longer for it to cool off.

“Yeah. Her and her friends went to the Crystal Empire to celebrate.” Weakling said.

“Wouldn’t that make her a princess?” I ask.

“Yes. Isn’t that wonderful. I would love to be a princess. Wouldn’t you?” She asked.

“And have people do everything for me all the time? No way.” I say fiddling around with my stapler. I hear a knock at the door. My ears perk up.

“I’ll get the door.” Weakling and Thunderwing say in unison.

“I want to answer it.” Weakling whines like a little colt.

“No! I’m going to get the door!” Thunderwing says pouncing on Weakling. They wrestle each other like two timber wolf puppies. Weakling flinches away from Thunderwing. I roll my eyes and trot past the two barbaric stallions.

“Boys! Stop fighting!” Honey Flower says.

“If you two kill each other, don’t get any blood on my carpet.” I say answering the door. Princess Cadence is standing nervously at my front door. Princess Cadence? I must be going stir crazy. What would she be doing here?

“Sunshine, Sunshine, lady bugs awake.” Cadence chants as she dances on my doormat.

“Clap your hooves and do a little shake.” I say. She seems a bit disappointed that I didn’t dance around when I finished her song. “Princess Cadence, I wasn’t expecting to see you today. Come in.” I say.

“What’s going on in there?” Cadence asks taking a few steps back. Thunderwing is sitting on Weakling’s back and yanking on his leg. Weakling struggles to get out from underneath him.

“Break it up, you two. Princess Cadence is here. That’s no way to behave in front of her.” Honey Flower says. They stop pulverizing each other and bow to Princess Cadence. Weekling’s sheepish smile is hidden by his messed up mane.

“Sorry about that. What could I do to help you?” I ask.

“When I was with Twilight and her friends last night, The Crystal Heart was stolen. Do you think you could find out who the thief is?” Princess Cadence says franticly. I wonder why she’s freaking out about this Crystal Heart. It’s just a stupid rock. I guess it must be very valuable. I wonder how many bits it is worth.

“Last time the Crystal Heart was taken, everypony in the Crystal Empire was in a deep depression. To make matters worse, Sapphire Shores was planning on borrowing it for a prop for her concert. She seems pretty angry about the robbery. I hope you could get The Crystal Heart back.” Cadence says.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’m on it.” I say levitating my equipment into my saddlebag. Cadence’s horn shines brightly and we appear inside her castle. I wish I was powerful enough to teleport that long of a distance. Shining Armor trots over Princess Cadence. He doesn’t seem to even notice that we’re here.

“I’m so sorry. I should have kept a better eye on the Crystal Heart last night. I just hope nothing bad happened to it.” Shining Armor says.

“Don’t worry about it. Sprinklejinx is here to take care of it.” Cadence says.

Sapphire Shores briskly paces back and forth in front of the empty platform where the Crystal Heart once stood. Surrounding the wooden platform is a web of caution tape. I carefully step over the caution tape and begin to take a look around.

“What are you doing here? Can’t you see we’re trying to do an investigation in here?” She said.

“We’re here to help find The Crystal Heart.” I say.

“I already hired a professional detective.” She says rudely.

“Maybe we could help them so the mystery could be solved quicker.” Honey Flower says.

“They don’t need help from a bunch of amateurs. The more ponies on the job the more bits I’ll have to pay.” Sapphire Shores says.

“Isn’t Princess Cadence supposed to be the one making the decisions?” Weakling asks.

“She was also supposed to be in charge of The Crystal Heart too and look how that turned out.  I’m decide putting matters into my own hooves. Now if you excuse me, I have some rehearsing to do.” She says walking out the door. She reminds me of Diamond Tiara before I taught her a lesson. Ever since she attracted all that attention from the outfit Rarity gave her she’s been acting like a little diva. I used to like her music when I was a filly.

“Now what do we do?” Thunderwing asks.

“I don’t know. We might as well look for clues since we’re already here.” I say.

“Sapphire Shores is right you know.” A purple unicorn with a short blue mane said. He walked up to me with his head high with pride.

“Who are you?” I ask.

“You’ve never heard of me? My name is Clue Seeker. I am the greatest detective in Canterlot.” He says. Wow! I’m talking to the best detective in Canterlot?

“I’m Sprinklejinx. I’m a detective too. Princess Cadence sent me here.” I say.

“I doubt a rookie like you will be of any use to me. I’ve already found two possible suspects.” Clue Seeker says.

“That’s wonderful. Who are these suspects, if you don’t mind me asking?” I ask.

“A mare named Rarity and a dragon named Spike.” He says.

“I know them. They would never steal the crystal heart. Rarity is the element of generosity after all.” I say.

“Sapphire Shores said that they’ve been arguing for quite some time. Maybe Rarity stole it to get back at her.” Clue Seeker says.

“Well Rarity does like pretty things… She always wanted to be a crystal pony… But she wouldn’t be spiteful enough to steal the crystal heart.” I say.

“What about the dragon? Dragons are greedy creatures that eat large gems.” He says.

“We don’t know Spike very well. He seems like a nice dragon though.” Honey Flower says.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Everypony knows that dragons are the greediest creatures in Equestria.” Clue Seeker says.

“Why won’t you just listen to us?” I ask getting frustrated.

“You don’t belong here. This is no job for a mare. You would be better off cooking and cleaning or something.” He says.

“I could solve this mystery just as easily as you can. I’ll show you.” I say.

“Suit yourself. Mystery, get me a coffee.” Clue Seeker says.

“I’m on it.” The red pegasis with the pink pony tail says flying past me. She looks at me for a moment and then spills the coffee on the floor.

“Sprinklejinx? Is that you?” She asks. I know her from somewhere. I just can’t quite put my hoof on it. I remember now. She was my friend many years ago.