Denial and Death

by DarkDime

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Tragedy, Adventure
Length: 4535

After a horrifying nightmare, Rainbow Dash turns into what she feared most. She can't do anything to stop it.

Rainbow Dash goes to sleep one night. Nothing is out of the ordinary. That is, until she sees what her head has in store for her. Her immediate impulse is to turn to her bookworm friend. Things quickly go downhill from there. Will she be able to make it all right?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-27 15:30:01 UTC

Mistakes

    The darkness of the night had overtaken Ponyville. Nothing tells of civilization. Everypony is asleep. Nothing in Equestria stands to worry their peaceful minds. Nothing except for Rainbowdash. She was practicing her skills in a nighttime flight. Not a single thing could compare to the thrills of such an open airspace. Her resounding whoops of joy reached no further than a few yards. Not far enough to disturb any sleeping souls. She hadn't felt more alive in her life. The rushing winds matted her shiny coat down.

    She started to build up speed after one of her amazing corkscrews of sorts. This was it. The unmistakeable slipstream of the inevitable formed around the cocky bearer. Speeds of this intensity had only been achieved by the same mare. Rainbowdash had set the bar. It was mostly for herself. Adrenaline set into her lungs. She kept a steady speed of unmeasurable units. A sight so dazzling had never been witnessed by anything but herself.

    A sound louder than an explosion erupted out through the silence. It hadn't awoken anypony though. A slingshot effect took action as she broke the sound and light barrier. This sudden force rocked the very ground itself. An array of every color in the rainbow disrupted the bleakness of the surrounding night. Darkness dampened the glow ever so slightly. It could still be recognized from miles away though. A feat such as this was only achieved once in a blue moon.

    This concluded her nightly session of aerial acrobatics. Needless to say, she was exhausted of all her strength and in need of a good rest. She wasn't too far from her humble home. This made the trek back that much easier. She ascended ever so slightly to land perfectly on the soft padding of her porch. The cloud material soothed her aching muscles. With an athlete's willpower, the aching would only last for a few hours. Nothing that couldn't be solved overnight.

    Rainbowdash dreamed silently and peacefully. Her dreams were invaded by many congratulations from her friends. They shot the positive comments to her with a main similarity of her performance with the wonderbolts. In her perfect world, she had been begged to join them. It was a feeling that only fantasies could replicate. Her life's goal was to experience them in reality. It was far out of her reach though. One day, she would reach those heights, and be the flier she had always imagined.

    <>-<>-<>-<>-<>

    The next morning came slowly. The light crept up sneakily on the residents of Ponyville. When it was finally upon the light sleeper, namely Rainbowdash, she had been awake for about an hour. The morning rituals of her tight schedule came quickly and flawlessly. That schedule of hers normally contained daily exercise to her physical content. When she was finally thoroughly taxed, she would descend to the village to meet her eager friends. She normally had her head physically and metaphorically up in the clouds. It would take a lot of effort to push her out of her hopes. The practice would pay off in the end, she would always conclude. The answer, though, was only one of her many excuses to do what she loved.

    At around noon, she would meet with Scootaloo privately just so they could catch up with one another. It had always been her custom. Rainbowdash normally enjoyed it as much as her excited fan. The filly's parents had landed her a spot in the local orphanage, so it felt as though the duty to keep her enlightened was solely up to Rainbowdash. It gave her a sense of usefulness and caring. They had always had a special bond. One in which could never be broken.

    After her meet up with Scootaloo, she would head over to Sugarcube Corner to chat it out with her most energized friend. There was nothing in Equestria that could dampen her spirits. Except for, possibly, the dreaded rock farm she had been raised in. It helped shape her into the party animal she was today. Pinkie Pie had, for as long as anypony remembered, been accustomed to throwing parties over every slight detail. It was almost ridiculous.

    Once their long conversation had been concluded, she would head over to Sweet Apple Acres to check out the farm. It was mostly a visit to her southern-accented friend. It also included a little check up with the cutie mark crusaders. The little gang of fillies that was notorious for getting themselves into trouble. Be it from launching a catapult, or eating bugs, Applejack would always keep a keen eye on their activities.

    To excuse herself from the predicaments she would constantly be locked into, in their group, she would head over to Rarity's Boutique. The highest class of store in Ponyville. Only the finest of items would pass as merchandise for the fashion diva, Rarity. Her dresses were made for the most famous of contractors, from the finest material she could muster. She was normally swamped with large clients' orders for her dresses, as they were always in high demand.

    If she was too busy to converse with, she would go to have a cup of tea with Fluttershy. There was nothing more relaxing than then evenings she would spend with her shy friend. The caretaker of animals would always be concerned with the smallest of things, and worried about the future.

    To end the day, she would stop by the library. Her bookworm friend, Twilight, ran the only place to find books in Ponyville. She was always caught up in some sort of book or experiment. Rainbowdash would always get the lesser half of her divided attention when attempting to talk to her.

    The routine was not complete yet though, the sun may have set, but her spirits were nowhere near depleted. That was why she would always go the extra mile to hone her abilities. It was always jam packed with fantastic new tricks and stunts she had been dying to try.

    It was only, now that she would finally let herself slip away from town and reside in her cloud home. Tonight was different form every other night she had experienced though. Her dreams were much different. They were plagued with darkness. She was...killing ponies in the streets as others watched in horror. It was terrifying. There was seemingly nothing she could do to stop herself from ending innocent lives, as the nightmare would not loosen its grip on her conscience. It was only a dream though...right? She could never be so cruel.

    It took all she could to fruitlessly pry herself away from what was happening. Her body defied her thoughts as it ruthlessly snapped the necks of passers. It would drop kick the throats of petrified foals. And swipe hooves at any who tried to stop it. All the while, her mind pleaded for some justice. Her eyes were glued to the many faces of all the victims. Their expressions were so lifelike.

    She rose up in her bed, soaked with sweat. She was chilled from all the images that still stuck in her mind. What had caused that? She remembered Twilight mentioning something about dreams always representing some personal problems. There was no excuse for what had taken shape in her head though. Right?

    Instead of starting her day with the usual, and brushing up on her flying skills, she went straight to Twilight. If there was anypony who knew what had caused the visions, it was her.

    She arrived at the library in a very speedy manner. Her eyes were wide and her breaths were heavy. The wooden door looked so inviting. She knocked. Once. Twice. Three times. Spike pulled open the door with a twinge of urgency. The knocks had been so loud.

    "Spike! I need to see Twilight right now."

    "She's kinda in her studies right now so if you cou-" he began. He had glanced up at RainbowDash's face, and had seen the bloodshot whites and pinpointed pupils. He then understood the loud rapping of hooves on the door. "Uh, I'll go get her," he said as he turned to go back inside. The door shut, leaving Rainbow feeling anxious and shaking. How would Twilight react to hearing about the dream? She would soon find out.

    Moments later, Spike returned with Twilight in tow. Twilight motioned for him to leave, and he grudgingly complied. It was fairly plain that he had wanted to know what this was about.

    "What's wrong?" She asked. It was a broad question, but the hints that Rainbow's face held, told Twilight to approach the topic cautiously.

    "Last night I had a dream. Remember when you told me that all dreams had some sort of personal problem behind them?"

    "Uh, yeah, why?"

    "I uh...I," she teetered back and forth between to different explanations. Both would hold separate responses. The first was just to tell her point blank that she had been killing ponies in her dreams. The second was to try to avoid the main reason completely, and ask context in order to find out what they mean without sounding mentally challenged. "I was wondering what it meant if uh...you...were say to be...killing...in your dreams?" There was simply no other way to work it in. It was best of she knew anyways.

    "Killing? As in killing other...ponies?" A strong tension grew between the two ponies. "It means uh...I ...I don't...know what it means." She probably knew it clear as day, but was too concerned to voice it.

    "Oh, um...ok. Sorry to bother you..." It obviously hurt Twilight to not say it. She wanted so badly to prove that she did posses that knowledge. It would possibly be dangerous to Rainbowdash though.

    "Uhm, why don't you come inside. We can talk it over." Staying outside at the door would be fairly annoying, as an explanation would take a prolonged period of time. They walked inside and sat down at one of the low standing tables that sat on the floor. "Ok, it usually means something is bothering you. Sometimes it can mean that you're hiding something from yourself. It can even mean that you actually want to...kill. I doubt that that's what it is though," she tried to counter the possibility. After all, it shouldn't even be considered a possibility. Against her hopes though, in the back of Rainbowdash's head, a nagging voice told her to...no...it told her to...strangle...her friend. How could she? What was happening?

    Rainbow inched towards her friend with a secret intention to cause harm. NO! She caught herself immediately and stopped in her tracks. She could never ever do anything like that to anypony! The voice got louder.

    "I-I think I just...it was...it was a nightmare, forget about it. I'm fine." She said that quite loudly, trying to drone out the phrase.

    "Are you sure everything is okay? I'm starting to get worried."

    "No. I'm  Absolutely fine. I-I think I'll just go now." She could no longer bear the voice. Why was she even considering it? Before she could contain the action, Rainbow lunged for her friend's throat.

    "SPIKE!" Twilight called for help. He rushed in quickly. He must have been eavesdropping. As fast as he could, Spike scribbled chicken scratch onto a scroll and sent it off to the palace. Right after, he jumped in to intervene. Twilight was now trapped in a headlock. Rainbowdash tried as hard as she could to stop her frantic struggling. It was just like the dream. She wanted to stop so badly, but her body wouldn't obey. The voice inside her laughed maniacally.

    Spike's attempts at prying Rainbowdash from his friend were impossible. He would only delay her intentions. It was at that moment that a whole team of royal guards flooded into the library. They saw the sight and took action. Their impulse told them to temporarily subdue Twilight's attacker and calm them all down. Rainbowdash saw them and let the headlock go. Twilight collapsed to the ground, gasping for air. Rainbow panicked, and fled to the door. One of them were unfortunate enough to block her. It was just like her dream. She landed a firm punch on the back of his neck. It connected with his spinal cord, which resulted in a collapse, most likely death.

    All of her flight practice paid off. She was a blur of color, as she darted outside, taking to the skies. Spike and one of the guards stayed behind to assist Twilight. All the others commenced a pursuit. Rainbowdash was proven deadly, and in this protocol, they were advised to aim for the neck. It would have been in their best interest to abandon the culprit, but their royal duties told them otherwise.

    They tried furiously to catch up with her. Their poor maneuvers were inadequate in catching her. She needed to hide. She had lost them, but soon, everypony would be looking for her. A bloodlust clouded her thoughts. She had failed to disable Twilight, so she needed to kill another. She just had to. Applejack! She would be the first to go. She changed her direction at a near ninety degrees.

    Her mind protested madly. What was she doing. This was definitely not her. She wasn't even capable of disabling anypony, let alone kill them. When would this stop? It felt that she had no way to tell. It didn't matter though, because she had no way to control it.

    She landed with a thud. This was no longer Rainbowdash. She was now a mindless killer. She wanted to spill blood. She wanted to appease the voice in her head. She wanted to kill. She threw the barn doors open. As expected, there was Applejack packing in a few bales of hay. She turned around to face the unexpected visitor. She was relieved at the sight of Rainbowdash, but it wasn't comforting.

    "Howdy, Rainbow." She tried to greet her. There was no reply. She was close enough now though, to let Applejack see her face clearly. The bloodshot eyes triggered something inside of her. Fear. "Hey, can you give me a little space?" She requested defensively. Rainbowdash didn't slow. She only creeped closer. "C'mon Rainbow. That's not funny." She started to worry now. The eyes of the unknown were unnerving. The intruder still didn't stop.

    "Hello Applejack." She said monotonously. There was no sign of emotion in her body language. It was too fast to see anyway. She punched Applejack across the jaw. She didn't react. She was too shocked. It fueled Rainbow to take another shot. This time, it landed on the side of her throat. She fell down, out cold. The voice was still not satisfied. She needed more.

    She began to panic. Did she just kill her friend? Surely not. Applejack would never go down that easily. There were still lingering doubts to the theory as the loud wing beats of the guards outside filled the air.

    The guards had finally caught up to her. They saw Applejack who was instantly assumed dead. They all formed a blockade, and started to close in on her. There was now a tight circle surrounding her. There was no way to escape...unless...she bucked her hind legs at the closest opponent. She struck lucky and killed him with a fatal blow to the face. She used the gap to escape.

   Once again, she ascended to higher altitudes in order to evade the restless band of guards. They followed suit. She flew straight picking up speed. There was one sure fire way to lose them. The Everfree Forest. The slipstream formed around her again. Her pursuers slowed slightly, knowing what was about to happen. It was instantaneous. The guards flew backwards, at such a force that could break their necks from whiplash. Rainbowdash was propelled forwards at a dangerously high velocity. The trees marking her safe haven quickly replaced the rolling hills of Ponyville. She tilted her head downward, changing her direction entirely. She went straight down, divebombing into the hard forest floor.

   The crack of several bones could be heard. It was magnified tenfold in her head. Her right wing bent at an impossible angle, resulting in a loud snap. The pressure from the impact was taken mostly into her legs. She tried to pick herself up but fell, finding that her front left leg was shattered. The pain from it shot through her veins making her yell out to nothingness. Her wing only made it worse. Without it, she would be stuck there. The only way out is by hoof. Judging from the crater she had made, Ponyville was East. It would be near impossible to walk as well though. Her leg reacted to the slightest movement. The reaction being indescribable pain.

    The monster was gone. Never to return. A look of realization crossed her face. If she even got out of this alive, how would she convince her friends that it was all an accident. Surely they wouldn't accept it. There was no possible way she could rejoin them. Wait, this wasn't her. She wouldn't give up this quickly. She had to try. Her will to move was almost enough to overpower the pain of one thousand nails being hammered into her leg as she walked. To make sure, she tried an experimental flap of her wings. She was lifted about a foot from the ground. She dropped. A bone jutted out from her right wing. It probably wouldn't allow her simplest plan. She would have to walk.

    She started down her path of pain. Thoughts swirled around in her head. They were about her redemption. The emotional stress was greater than the stress of her leg and wing combined. There was no rational explanation of why she had tried to strangle her friend, then shortly after knock out another. The isolation was a double edged sword. She couldn't hurt anypony while out here. She also had a long road ahead of her. The news had to have traveled fast. An element of harmony killed innocent guards, and attempted the murder of two other elements. If she had lasted any longer, she would have gone to Rarity. Knowing this made her hate this new side of herself.

    While lost in thoughts, she traveled quickly. Almost a mile already. The weight of the pain was getting to her though. She limped through the trees, only hoping that it was the right way. Celestia pray that she reach the edge safely. In about an hour, she would be a fourth of the way out (at her current pace). It was hardly fair to expect that much from her in this state. It would most likely take just over a week if everything went well. Should she be cursed by Sombra, it would take almost a year.

    Exhaustion started to kick in. It would take more than a little ache to keep her from her goal. Unfortunately, it was quickly more than an ache. She was beginning to feel drowsy. Her eyes started to fall closed, but then flutter open in defiance. The limping of her leg increased. Without warning, they gave out. She fell to the ground, unable to do anything but feel terror. She would be eaten alive out here. She was too tired to scream. Too tired to attempt getting back up. So tired that she just drifted off. Away from all the madness. Maybe when she woke up, she would still be in bed. If only said luxuries existed.

    Tonight's dreams were different from the last, but still just as dreadful. She pictured her friends beating her to death. Her mess of a body had been thrown to the ground, and tramped over. She could only weakly mutter stop in vein attempts to end her suffering. All of them seemed to display a vicious intensity of emotion on their face. When her final breaths were drawing near, she lifted her eyes open. It had felt so real.

    <>-<>-<>-<>-<>

    She was getting close now. Only another half mile or so until she reached civilization. The days had not been kind to her. It had taken nearly two months to achieve this distance. She had overworked herself to get here. Too much more and she would pass out. If Twilight didn't understand her unlucky streak of terror, she would have all of those hours pushed back into her face. Hours of constant pain and agony to get there. It would all pay off soon. Her wing may have recovered slightly, but her leg was definitely in a worse state. She shuddered at the thought of being a cripple. Without the motor skills for her leg, she would be forced into a wheelchair. No more flying.

    The thoughts had again, propelled her forward at greater speeds. The view of bright green grass filled her sore eyes. She had pulled through. A new hope entered her stride. She finally made it. Twilight's library was her new destination. It was not to strangle, nor exact revenge on her. It was to make her understand. The place was right in front of her. It was now or never. She creaked the door open.

     "Twilight? Are you here?" The faint rustling of paper in the background ceased. There was no doubt, she would not be the happiest to see her. It was only to set things right. "It-it's me...Rainbowdash?" It felt odd to hear her name again in so long. "I know you're here." That was only to try and lure her out. If she actually were here, the remark would no doubt bring her out of hiding. And indeed it did.

    Ever so cautiously, the unmistakeable figure of Twilight appeared down the stairs. She was quietly coming into full view. It had been a while since she had seen her in person. For Rainbowdash, it felt like it was over a decade.

    "Why did you let this happen?" Twilight's voice was stern. It seemed like she knew why, but it was only a strategy to obtain the information.

    "I...I just couldn't stop. It wasn't me. I swear." A threatening glare shone off of Twilight's vengeful eyes.

    All too quickly, she jumped over to Rainbowdash, who defensively tried to duck away. A few frantic swipes thrown from the attacker proved harmless. Rainbowdash tried as best as she could to limit herself to defense only. Any more purposeful harm done to Twilight could be considered offensive.

    A purple bubble formed around the victim, making her thrash around wildly. Twilight wanted revenge, and the only way she would let up is when she could finally declare the pegasus deceased. Nothing was standing in her way. It could be so simple. She wanted to drawl out the scene though. To make her feel the pain that had been inflicted to her in the headlock. It wouldn't stop there though. Far from it. Twilight would annihilate her.

    "You did this to yourself. You only deserve what is coming," she pressed. It was another strategy. This time, it was to make Rainbowdash feel strong guilt and nothing else.

    "No! Please! I didn't want to hurt you!" The bubble dissipated. Twilight was quick to act. She galloped forward to use both front hooves effectively. In result, Rainbowdash was thrown back against a large bookshelf. The inhabits clattered noisily to the floor. She lay with her side to her friend. No time was wasted as Twilight reared up to buck Rainbowdash in the face. The one-sided battle was as painful emotionally as it was physically.

    "Stop! Please!" The pain was unbearable. Nothing would ever compare to this moment. To continue the bombardment. Twilight pulled her hoof back to release a jaw shattering punch. She threw her arm forward. Rainbowdash closed her eyes to brace for the attack. It would most likely be her final blow. It was all she could do to stop herself from breaking down right there. It didn't come though.

    Cautiously, Rainbowdash opened her eyes. Why had she stopped? A face with strong realization was worn by Twilight. She backed away as a sign of surrender.

    "You're not trying. Rainbow? Is it really you?" Of course it was her, but...she had expelled the demons in her head. There was a loss of words, followed by a few strange gestures indicating one's intentions to speak. When they tried though, nothing came out.

    "I-I...I'm back..." Did this mean she really understood? The thought of questioning her lost it's footing, and plummeted to the back of her mind, as Twilight took her into a hearty embrace. It was unclear wether the success of regaining a friend, or the lack of oxygen circulating to her lungs from her tight hold had left Rainbow gasping for air. It didn't matter. All that did matter was the final conclusion of this journey to hell and back.

    By the time of about five minutes elapsed, they slowly let go. It wasn't the end of the world, but it felt like being thrust back into the world of hatred that once shrouded them both. It took a bit more strength to defy the instincts of trying to hug again than it should have. The lives that had been lost on the one dreadful day could, unfortunately so, never be reestablished. They were lost in oblivion.

    "But why? Why did you try to...er...strangle me?" The words slid out of her mouth with such a dreaded presence. The mistake of letting them loose was soon verified. Rainbowdash locked up. The remembrance of the event left her reeling. Why had she let it happen? There was no actual motive or reasoning behind her actions. They were just executed without a second thought. Consequences were not taken into consideration. Sad results led up to the untimely death of two palace guards. It wasn't a pretty memory.

    "I don't know. Once I started I just couldn't stop. Something...made me do it." Her fake bravado was waning. After picking herself up, she leaned against the bookshelves for support. A smile was hard to conjure up at this point, but somehow she managed.

    "What was it?" Rainbowdash needed to think before she could answer. It had been one of the last things she had though about while in Everfree. The only thing that occupied her mind was redemption. It left no space vacant for others thoughts.

    "The-the dream...and a voice!"

    "What did the voice say to you?" Perhaps she could use the data to find out what had caused it and if it would ever happen again. At best, she would find the reason why it was that uncontrollable.

    "It...it said...kill. That's as it. It wasn't just the voice though. It was my dream as well. The one I told you about before I..."

    "No no. It's fine. I'd rather just leave this behind us, but I can't. We need to figure out what it was, so we can ensure that it won't happen again. If it does then..." She shuddered at the thought.

    "I agree." It was almost too sudden with the change in Twilight's attitude, but the size of intake on everything that had just happened was large enough.