Oh, Spoony 3: Revenge of the Spoon

by Jondor

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Romance, Fluttershy, Comedy
Length: 1228

It's tough being a unicorn.

Fluttershy and Rarity share breakfast. Rarity can't eat. Betcha can't guess why.

Another ill advised spoony story.

I just couldn't stop myself. Also: Unicorn Master Race.

Published 2013-09-28 16:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-28 16:50:01 UTC

Oh, Spoony 3: Revenge of the Spoon

Rarity hummed softly to herself as she prepared breakfast. Her horn shone continuously with its bright blue light as various utensils, cabinets, and foodstuffs were surrounded by their own bright blue glow, moving according to her every whim. Just as with dressmaking, Rarity was a master of multitasking when it came to making breakfast. In mere moments, everything would be prepared and set in order.

Not all was as she would have prefered it, of course. This breakfast would not be nearly as elegant as she would like, but there was little to be done about that. Rarity was limited to the meager offerings of Fluttershy’s kitchen. For the very first time preparing breakfast for her marefriend, she would have prefered something much loftier, and more befitting of the lovely mare she loved, but she had not planned this the night before.

Finally, everything was nearly done. The floral centerpiece, picked fresh from the garden, floated to the table, followed by the glasses of orange juice, freshly squeezed. A rack of beautifully browned toast followed in turn, and was soon joined by a pitcher of cream. Finally two bowls of steaming oatmeal floated over, settling neatly into place.

Rarity nodded her approval at the table setting, then suddenly clicked her tongue in annoyance. She had forgotten the silverware. No matter, Fluttershy would not be coming downstairs for a few more minutes. That would be plenty of time to seek out eating utensils and complete the place setting.

Fluttershy yawned cutely as she cantered down the stairs to the kitchen. She’d woken up to an empty bed and panicked just a bit at first, but the sound of Rarity’s humming and the gentle clatter of kitchenware told her that breakfast would be served shortly. She’d always wondered what Rarity’s breakfast would be like, and waited with bated breath until the noise in the kitchen died down.

The smell of breakfast filling the kitchen made her mouth water as she turned into the kitchen. However, instead of her marefriend sitting at the table waiting for her, or fussing over some little detail the way she expected, Rarity was sitting on her haunches in the middle of the kitchen, looking quite dumbstruck. Every single drawer was pulled open, and all manner of utensils were floating by in lazy arcs, each one held aloft in the pale blue glow of her magic aura.

“Rarity?” Fluttershy called in her soft voice. “Rarity, are you alright?”

“There are no spoons.” The reply was rather short and extremely inelegant.

“Excuse me?” Fluttershy cocked her head, quite confused, simply searching for an explanation.

“There are no spoons.” Rarity repeated. “Do you not own any spoons? I cannot find any.” Rarity gave a hollow laugh as she turned to Fluttershy with a slightly manic twitch to her eye, reminiscent of Twilight Sparkle. All the utensils floated haphazardly back into their drawers and shut themselves away.

“No, I don’t. Um, I’m not a unicorn, so I can’t really hold spoons.” Fluttershy sat back on her own haunches, twiddling her forehooves nervously.

“But,” Rarity said, her voice putting a hard edge on the syllable, “how do you eat without a spoon?”

“I can show you.” Fluttershy replied timidly, stepping toward the table. Rarity watched in horror as Fluttershy dipped her muzzle to the surface of the oatmeal and took a very dainty mouthful, using her tongue and lips in concert. When she sat back up, some bare flecks of her breakfast remained, stuck to the soft pelt around her lips. A quick swipe of her tongue removed them and she smiled at her marefriend.

Summoning her chaise lounge, Rarity fainted dead away.

Rarity woke to find Fluttershy fanning her gently with her wings.

“Oh, my. Rarity, you had me so worried.” Fluttershy gently touched down next to Rarity’s sofa and ran a hoof along her muzzle.

“My apologies, darling. I believe I had a bit of a nightmare.” Rarity gave a hollow little laugh. “I dreamed that we were having oatmeal for breakfast, and there were no spoons. Can you imagine anything so absurd?”

Fluttershy bit her lip, unsure exactly how to answer. “Um, Rarity,” she squeaked, her voice barely audible. “That did happen. I don’t own any spoons.”

Rarity stared at the ceiling, aghast. Fluttershy was afraid that she may have slipped back into unconsciousness. “But then, you took a bite from your bowl like a common mule. A lady doesn’t eat like that!” Rarity spluttered, wringing her hooves in horror.

“Well, I am considered to be quite a dainty eater. Rainbow Dash used to make fun of me for it all the time.” Fluttershy breathed out, her eyes darting to the side as her teeth bore down on her lip further. “Maybe…” she began, then paused, unsure. “Maybe, you could try it my way? Then you’ll see it isn’t so bad.” Her voice was especially soft as she made the suggestion.

“Try it…” Rarity gulped, stunned. “Try it your way? Darling, I don’t know. I…” Rarity broke off. Her eyes had flicked over Fluttershy’s face and caught the pleading look in her beautiful blue-green eyes. Those self-same eyes that melted her into butter every time. “Yes. Very well, darling.”

She sat at the table, staring down into her bowl. The contents had cooled, quite considerably by now. Her horn lit as she reached out with her magic for her glass of orange juice. A small swig of the tangy liquid helped her swallow the lump in her throat.

Her eyes left the bowl and looked across the table instead. A smile greeted her. That beautiful smile that she loved. She would do anything those lips asked of her. Right now, they were asking her to eat her oatmeal. To eat her oatmeal without a spoon; that was her task.

Her eyes turned back to her bowl and blinked. One final swig of orange juice to cure that dreaded lump again. Rarity closed her eyes and leaned down.

Author's Note

Spoiler: Rarity forgot to open her eyes again and got a faceful of oatmeal. A spa trip soon followed.

Bonus Chapter: At the Spa

Fluttershy perched on the massage table, half amused, half exasperated. She’d learned how to deal with most of Rarity’s little quirks. Some of them she confronted head on. Some, she reveled in. However, with this particular quirk, it was best to sit back and indulge her.

“Be glad you were not there to see it! It was absolutely horrifying, Aloe.” Rarity’s high pitched whine split the room in two, making the three other ponies wince. “Flecks of oatmeal everywhere, and I’d already had one shock this morning. It was all I could do not to pass out again, but I feared I would wind up muzzle first in the bowl. All for want of a spoon!”

Fluttershy twitched her wings as she watched Aloe and Lotus tending to Rarity. She extended one and flexed some of her pinions in front of her eyes. Perhaps, for Rarity’s sake, she could learn to hold a spoon.

Author's Note

Bonus chapter because the other two have one now.

Oh, Spoony
Oh, Spoony 2: Electric Boogaloo
Oh, Spoony 3: Revenge of the Spoon <--You are here
Oh, Spoony 4: The Voyage Home