The Starswirled Spell

By a show of hands, who thinks I am retarded? *Entire world raises their hands.*

Ok that was expected, how long did it take me to write this? A month? I dunno, Again I am really sorry I have just been so busy I couldn't keep up. Expect more frequent updates in the future because I got incredibly distraced, and no this fanfiction will not die.

“See girls, I told you I could find a canon at this hour!”

“NO! I take it back, no, no, no, NO!” I exclaimed.

“Fer the last time Spike, it’s completely safe, I calculated the parabola of your arc to land you in th’ most painless manner possible.” Applebloom retorted.

“Yeah well, I came to help you, not satisfy your crave for vicious bloodshed!” I yelled.

“Come on Spike, it will be fun! If you live I will do it too, I promise.” Stated Scootaloo.

“I don’t ca… wait what do you mean by IF I live..?”

The two fillies giggled while Sweetie Belle stood awkwardly to the side.

“We’re just jokin’ Spike, you’ll be fine!”

I sighed in defeat, it doesn’t relinquish my undying need to escape my bundled contraption, because quite frankly it was quite uncomfortable to be messily tied up in a 17 foot long rope. But I knew that they were young and still ambitious, they would never hurt me on purpose… right?

“Allight, ya’ll ready?” Asked Applebloom.

“Yes!” Rang Scootaloo.

“No…” I squeaked.

“3!”

“No no wait!” I pleaded.

“2!”

“Can’t we talk this over some tea?”

“1!”

“I was the one who spilled milk all over your romance novel!”

“LAUN… Wait what?” Quizzed Applebloom.

‘Whoops, I thought it would’ve gone off by now.’

“Uuuuh… I…”

“LAUNCH!”

My exposition was cut off by the loud blast of fire and gunpowder exploding and combusting. But fortunately I was not worried about that, because I had to focus on living as long as possible as my body stretched and swam in the air like a graceful swan caught on fire.

So far it wasn’t that bad, as I was immune to most heat sources so I barely felt a thing, and admittedly the cold breeze of air did feel quite nice as it rustled through my spines.

My stomach rose and I began to discharge a dose of dragon vomit, which was basically fire with disintegrated vomit dissolved into the mix. It is also somewhat uncomfortable to have it splattered across your face.

My acceleration began to slow at snail’s pace, but exponentially picking up speed. Looking below myself I saw the lingering coastline of the Everfree forest, slowly approaching my direction. And to add to the inevitable, I began to descend.

‘Did these girls need my help or were they trying to kill me?’

I was now above the large body of trees, I could briefly see a few animals lurking around the more sparce and exposed parts of the forest. The falling sensation began to kick in as I felt my spine rattling and tingling.

In an attempt to slow myself down, I spread my arms wide increasing my wind resistance which for the most part worked. This kind of reminded my when I accidentally tripped the wire of that hot air balloon and landed the Everfree forest. The one unfortunate difference here is that I am going to be smacking into the hard dirt at 200 miles per hour.

The ground began to approach me faster and faster, and as I braced for impact my eyes shed a few tears (primarily from the speed) and contracted.

I waited, and waited, but nothing really seemed to happen. Taking initiative I slowly opened my eyes to find myself dizzy and unable to focus. Quickly I shut them again and rubbed them furiously to the point of fanaticism, but it was better than the pain they endured before.

Opening them once more I could see a vast plain of darkness with a few abounding plants in the way of my vision. I began to pick myself up off the surprisingly soft terrain to get a wider view of the landscape.

I tripped and stumbled, but I couldn’t blame my legs as they were shivering like mad. It was incredibly hard to pick myself count, but eventually I managed to hold.

Immediately I looked below to see a somewhat large patch of moss that logically cushioned my fall, I guess Applebloom doesn’t want me dead after all.

After absorbing the atmosphere a ringing tone of fear began enveloping my senses, I couldn’t think of anything else. I began to take my first steps in the new world, or at least new to my previous memories.

‘What did those psychotic foals want me to get again…’ I thought.

Honestly I was surprised I could even think about trying to do a favor for ponies who just tried to kill me, I would think that they would plan the natural surroundings. I lived the impact, I’m sure they had planned this out.

‘It was… something round…. And uh orange… And rubber, that’s it!’ I remembered.

I paced around the general vicinity not wanting to deal with outside behavior, I kept myself hidden while still keeping one eye for the objective. Even if they wanted me to get a basket ball for them I really didn’t want to come back empty handed after this traumatic experience.

Actually I want to make their lives as miserable as possible because they did want me to get a basket ball.

There perched upon a high stone was an orange sphere sitting there in one of the few openings to the surface that is not clouded up by tree leaves. I pondered if I even wanted to bring it back for them, their selfishness almost got me killed for a basketball they could have bought in a convenience store. But after all I guess I kinda owe Applebloom for her book, and I guess Sweetie Belle for giving her bad dating advice. I still don’t remember why I did that.

I made the most painful shrug any living organism has ever performed as I approached the tall stone erecting from to soil.

It was somewhat difficult to get a grip on it, as it was at a very high angle. But after a few attempts I managed to find a few crevices carved into the rock with consecutive dents following the first.

After a few trials and climbing strategies I finally reached the peak of the stone tower, with bruised claws no less. Seeing the objective in sight I carefully brought my feet forwards, careful not to slip on the vine’y slope that loomed over the edge. It slowly became more steep the closer I approached it even to the point of me having to crawl on my belly to get enough stability.

Eventually I pushed myself forwards to grab the ball right before I started to slip off. With the ball cradled in my right hand I reached forwards to grab hold of a few vines that squiggled around the top surface. I additionally used the high friction of the basket ball to slowly screech myself to an incredible unstable halt.

I awkwardly swung back and forth over the looming edge of the pillar with no real options left, it wasn’t really bad, I just couldn’t do anything. I heard the dreaded crackling sound as the plants above began to pull forwards and twist. Frantically I threw the ball back up onto the rock surface which rolled off the other side.

‘Oh great…’ I spouted.

Still dangling off, I thought of how I might be able to get off this wretched island, the answer became more and more clear. Relinquishing my grip I fell to the ground, but instead of suffering a broken skill, I penetrated through the dirt surface.

I flung backwards as dirt threw itself onto as many places possible, but long story short it was incredibly discomforting, or at least discomforting for what I was in previously.

The fall was long, but there were enough obstructions in the way to keep me falling at a steady pace. It seemed like hours before I felt the cold trickle of water slithering it’s way down my sensitive underbelly, and subsequently collapsing on the large, dark bed of what felt like dirt.

All around me was darkness giving me the perception of a snail, or in better terms practically blind. I didn’t care for getting up anymore, every time I try it seems I dig myself a hole deeper and deeper. With a final sigh I closed my eyes and fell unconscious.

Sorry I am a bit unsure about the quality of this chapter, if you have any complaints please tell me because I was not fully satisfied with the outcome of this one. :(

Well see you guys soon.