Buffin' Up For "Sinnytars"
Buffin' Up For "Sinnytars"
Howdy.
Ah'm Applejack.
Do ya mind? Ah'm kinda in the middle of sumthun' 'ere. As in, the "being violated by one of my best friends who I brainwashed into lustin' fer me completely by accident" kind of sumthun. OH! OOOWAH! D'OH!
"Rarity!" Ah turn mah head back to shout at my transformed friend. "Go a little easier – HRK!" Ah have to grunt as Rarity stops fer a sec'...then wraps her legs 'round me and gives a big ol' squeeze right where it hurts.
"Hurts" of course, bein' a very polite euphemism under the circumstances.
Seriously? Yer gonna stay and watch? Y'all don't want to watch this, trust me.
GAAAH! OOH-OOH! Dag nab it, why did Rarity's transformation make her so buff, and muscular, an'-an'-an' thick? Goodness, what would Granny Smith say if she caught me where Ah am now!?
Wut's that there, ya peepin' tom!? ...Oh? Y'all wanna know how this happened? Well, Ah guess Ah can't blame ya fer bein' curious.
How do them new-fangled stories tell it? That whole bit where they go back to explain how they got where they are now? Oh yeah, it goes a little something like this, doesn't it?
5 (and a half) Hours Earlier...
Yeah, that seems right.
Anyways, about the a-four-mentioned time, me and mah gals – that's Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and our most recent addition, Sunset Shimmer, were in the Crystal Castle of the Crystal Empire, which was made entirely of – you guessed it- see-through crystal.
We were all gathered wit' the lovely Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence in a certain on the second-highest floor of the castle. See, there was this funny magic mirror that led into another world populated by these thingies Twilight and Sunset called "hoomans". Twilight had been there once. Sunset Shimmer stole Twilight's Element of Harmony, powerful amulets that the gang and Ah use to defend Equestria, and Twilight went to get it back.
Then, some time after that, Sunset came through the portal, found Fluttershy, brought her to a cave, turned into a creepy (but attractive, or so Ah'm told) snake-human thing and hypnotized Fluttershy into lovin' her. When the spell was broken, Fluttershy decided she really did love Sunset after all, and they've had a good relationship since.
The whole thing creeps me the heck out. That is not a healthy thing to base a relationship on.
Sunset had mastered some fancy shapeshifting magic, as she was still a hooman even though the mirror was supposed to turn everypony who went through into the species on that side. Hoomans going through became ponies, ponies going through became hoomans.
Today, mah friend, Rarity, decided she wanted to go through and visit the hooman's world. She wanted to learn their fashions, their customs. Secretly, she confessed tah me that with Twilight and Sunset both on our side, she was sure it was only some time before we all had to go through for one reason or another, and she wanted to get 'ahead of the curve, as it were'.
So there we all were, in the room, three princess, six ponies, and one hooman shapeshifter, bidding our friend good luck as she was about to step through the mirror. Rarity had some saddlebags on her haunches containing important supplies, like some hooman clothes (courtesy of Sunset), a sports car to amuse herself, (from Rainbow Dash), some make-up, (for and from herself), and the most necessary thang...the recipe for mah family's Apple Pie, so when she found my doppelganger on the other side, she could have mah counterpart bake it. Ah can't imagine somepony goin' for more than a few days wit'out access to the family recipe.
"Wish me luck, everypony!" Rarity trilled to the room. "I shall return with fabulous stories of fabulosity!"
"Good luck!"
""Fabulosity" isn't a real word!"
"Twi..." Ah said to her, wrapping my leg around her neck for comfort.
Twilight sighed. "Fine. I guess you're right."
"Remember: change your clothes." Sunset reminded her. "People will get suspicious if you use the same clothes day after day."
"Duly noted!" Rarity assured Sunset with a salute.
"Bring me back a souvenir." Dash said, looking at her own hoof.
"Oh! Oh! Bring me one too!" Pinkie squealed.
Rarity chuckled. "How about I just bring back one for all of you?"
Pinkie paused dead in her tracks, like Rarity's idea wasn't possible in her world. Given tha' way she thinks... "Yeah, I guess that works."
"We wish you a safe and joyous journey on your trip, Rarity." Luna said.
"Have a good time with the humans." Celestia added.
"With your blessing, I certainly will!" Rarity assured him. Figures she'd take the opportunity to brownnose and suck up to the Princess.
She pushed one hoof through the mirror, which rippled like...like when y'all throw a rock into the water? Look, Ah'm a farmer, not a poet.
After a moment of hesitating, Rarity happily skipped through into the mirror's surface, which continued to ripple until the last hairs of her tail passed through it.
"I hope she comes back okay..." Fluttershy murmured.
"She can take care of herself." Rainbow Dash assured her. "As long as nopony hurts her mane!" She added with a laugh, slapping her own knee and bursting into laughter. Her eyes shifted between everypony in the room when she realized nopony was laughing wit' 'er.
It was true Rarity tended to worry more about her appearance than her survival, but nopony seemed to care 'bout Dash's joke.
Then the mirror started to glow with magic, like a rainbow.
"Hmm?" Celestia raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't seem right..."
"Ah think Rarity heard ya, Dash." Ah joked, but nopony seemed to like mah joke any better than Rainbow's.
"Something's wrong." Celestia said seriously. The mirror's glow began to increase, then decrease, then bounce all over the place, sumtimes bein' as furious as tha sun, sumtumes being as a dim as a broken bulb.
Everypony, mahself included, tensed up and got ready to fight.
The alternating glow began to die down and stabilize, affirming itself a mild glow, before shifting into a sphere of light. The sphere began to move slowly into the room like a foal's top, and it swelled up before exploding, blinding all of us with the flash that came out.
Ah groaned, and so did everypony else. Ah rubbed mah eyes, though Ah'm not shore wut everypony else did... 'cause Ah couldn't see, mind.
After a minute or two, mah vision came back, and we were all raising eyebrows and widening our irises at the sight on the floor.
There were some hooves, kinda like Rarity's, but thinner, longer, and more muscular. They legs were were white, like Rarity's, but the hooves themselves were a shiny black. The weird thing was, it wasn't some of sort coal black, or evil black, or unnatural black. Tha' weird thing was that it looked totally natural.
The weirdest thing, by far, was that at the top, where Rarity's neck was supposed to be – Ah guess – was there was human waist like Sunset's, that going up, went into a human's entire top half. A human face, hands, arms, and hair like Rarity's, a face like Rarity's, but...as a human, wearing a light purple shirt that went well with her complexion.
So...this was Rarity's hooman counterpart? Funny, she looks like a pony from the waist down. Ah thought she was supposed to be entirely hooman?
Ah was too busy trying to work out who or what this was exactly to notice that they were two of them until Luna called it to everypony's attention.
"Why...are there two of...whatever this thing is?"
Ah turned mah head slightly to the left, where sure enough, there was another Rarity hooman-pony thingie.
"What is going on!?" Luna demanded, shaking a hoof furiously at the air.
"Allow me, your highness." Sunset stepped forward, walking up to the second Rarity-thing.
"Sunset Shimmer?" The second Rarity-thing exclaimed. "I haven't seen you since Twilight came to the school!"
"Uh-huh." Sunset nodded, not interested in the second Rarity-thing's surprise. She turned to the first one and began to scan her up and down.
Sunset pointed a finger at the first one. "Do you remember me sabotaging your attempt at the Fall Formal?"
"No...I've never heard of such a thing."
The second one raised her hand. "I remember that!...vividly, as well."
"Okay. That's all I need." Sunset concluded, putting her hands together and turned to the Princesses. "I think I know what happened."
"Do tell." Celestia encouraged.
"I think," Sunset said, raising a finger in the air, "that the Rarity in our world, and the Rarity in their world, tried to enter the mirror at the same time, and as a result, they collided with each other at the midway point. Where our Rarity was being half-way turned into a human, and their Rarity was being halfway turned into a pony."
Sunset raised both her hands, then slowly brought them together. "They got...stuck in the mirror, and the mirror, not knowing what to do, simply picked them both up and dumped on our side in these half-transformed states."
Sunset tilted her hips while placing a hand on them. "Pretty simple, isn't it?"
"Mmm." Luna murmured. Ah can't help but think she was happier that we had an explanation at all than anything.
"Yes." Celestia, Luna, and both Rarity-things nodded.
"Yeah, sure." Dash added while Fluttershy silently nodded. Pinkie just spun her eyeballs around in their sockets, causing a drumming noise. Ah'm pretty sure that's not her commentary on events so much as just Pinkie being herself.
"So..." Sunset murmured to herself. "We have two... Rarity...centaurs."
"Centaurs?" Celestia asked, stepping forward and helping the second Rarity to her hooves, while the first one was able to get up by herself.
"Yeah." Sunset explained. "It's a...human myth of a creature that's part human and part...well, pony."
"Mmh-hmm." Celestia nodded, looking over the Rarity from tha hooman side of the mirror. "Well, we'll need a way to differentiate the two, and Twilight and Sunset will have to work together to get them both to adjust while we wait attempt to figure out a solution to this problem."
"Oh, it's no problem at all!" The first Rarity said, kicking her front leg out. "I feel five years younger, and so much healthier!"
"Well, that's all well and good for you, but I, on the other hand, feel heavy and overweight." The second Rarity said, shaking her haunches and bucking her hind legs. She began to rub her own hips. "I feel fat."
"Fat?" Twilight questioned.
"You know...fat." Hooman-Rarity gestured aimlessly through the air.
Sunset Shimmer chuckled nervously, cozening up to her sort-of friend. "Uh, Rarity... uh, Human-Rarity she doesn't know. See, Ponies don't really suffer from...obesity. At least not the ones I know."
"Obesity?" Twilight questioned. She did her trademark leg wiffle through the air. "Quit using these terms I don't understand! I HATE terms I don't understand!"
Hooman-Rarity pouted her lips. "I suppose that makes sense. After all, what good is being a magic, talking pony if you still suffer from common human problems?"
"I still don't know what you're talking about!" Twilight complained.
Celestia cleared her throat. Everypony fell silent.
"As Twilight and Sunset are the only ones who have experience being both ponies and humans, both Rarities will need their guidance adjusting to their new forms while we work out a solution for this predicament."
"We need some way to tell them apart." Rainbow Dash interjected. "I mean, we can't just keep calling them "Rarity 1" and "Rarity 2"."
"Why not?" Pinkie said happily.
"Because it's derisive!" Both Rarities snap, putting their hands on their hips. They exchanged looks and giggled at having the exact same thought at the exact same time.
Ah personally decided to leave, as Ah figured Ah couldn't really add anything to the conversation at this point. Ah turned around and trotted out into the hall, but Ah wasn't halfway down when Ah heard somepony calling me name.
"Applejack, wait!"
Ah turned my neck around to see Princess Cadence runnin' after me.
"Uh...hello, Princess." Ah nervously greeted 'er, bowin' mah hat. What could she possibly want with me that she couldn't get Twilight or Rarity for?
"I have something I've been meaning to ask somepony, and you seem like the pony for it, since Rainbow Dash is irresponsible, Pinkie is Pinkie, and the rest of us need to work on getting the Rarities back to normal."
"'Kay. Wut is it?"
"Take this vest..." She whipped her head around and pulled something out from her royal saddlebag. A dark purple vest with yellow trim and blue diamonds studded all 'round it. "And get rid of it."
"Um, all right." Ah mutter, nervously takin' the vest into mah teeth.
"Thank you so much!" Cadence cried at me. "I've been meaning to get of this awful thing since I became regent of the Empire. Have a nice day! I'll come get you when we're ready to fix the Rarities."
"Uh-huh." Ah nod, watching as she trots back into the mirror room.
Ah pick the vest up in my hoof and give it a look-over. It's really a flattering shade of purple, and the trim is...well, Ah hate to admit, the trim is fetchin'. Goodness me, Ah'm starting' sound more like Rarity.
Speakin' of sounding like Rarity, Ah think this vest would actually look really good on her.
"Hey! Rarity!" Ah shouted. Both Rarities came trotting down the hallway, looking at me expectantly.
"Yes?" They both asked me delicately.
"Errr...the native Rarity? The one that grew up as a pony?"
Both of them looked uncertain for a sec', before the one on the right stepped forward with her arm raised. "That's me, I do believe."
The other one tapped a finger to her chin, before nodding and trotting back into the room. She trotted oddly, like she had some sort of gait in her legs.
It took me a minute to figure how simple this really was; the native Rarity, mah Rarity, was the one who no trouble with her hooves, but some trouble with her hooman half, while the Rarity from the other world was the one who had no trouble with her human half, but some issues navigating with her hooves.
"You wanted to see me?" Native Rarity asks, trotting up to me with her usual prissy elegance.
"Yeah." Ah held up the vest. "Cadence told me to get rid of this. Ah figured Ah give it to you. Ah think it would look good on you."
"Hmm..." She looked at the vest before picking it up in her hands. "Well, you couldn't have chosen a poorer time to give it to me..." She gestured to her now human top half, and Ah decided to force a chuckle. "But I suppose I may as well try it, just to get a sense of how it feels."
She lifted it up and began to pull over her human half, clasping the buttons closed around. It draped way past her waist and way past her thighs, since it was designed for regular ponies, and not this lean thing Rarity currently was.
Mmm...her legs were actually very buff and muscular in this form. Normal pony bodies looked almost chubby by comparison. Very muscular, jus' tha way Ah like 'em...
...Wut am I sayin'? Well, Ah guess Ah'm sayin' Ah think Rarity's new sinny-tar form is...sexy.
... There's is no way, no how, that Ah am goin' to admit that out loud.
Ah take another look at the vest, and the diamonds on her vest seem to glow in recognition that Rarity is worthy of wearing it.
"Wow..." Ah murmur, dazed by the diamond's prettiness. "Y'all look stunnin', Rarity..."
Rarity chuckled. "You're not looking too bad yourself, sailor."
Um, a'ight, Ah guess...no. No, wait, wut?
"Wut?"
"I mean...you still have bit of dirt here and there." Rarity says, lifting a hoof up to cup mah chin. She began to lean in her, tryin' to bring her nose close to mine, a smile on her lips the whole time. "But it's nothing we can't... clean up together."
"Uh-huh." Ah nod mah head, tryin' to make her complacent before Ah make my escape. Ah think she's flirtin' wit' me, and honestly, the idea of her flirtin' wit' creeps me out. Ah raise mah hoof and push her hoof off mah chin. "That sounds, er, lovely, Rarity, but Ah, uh...need to be...not here."
She leaves me wit' a hauntin' image of her saddened, rejected face as Ah turn 'round and ske-daddle down the hall away from her as far as Ah can get.
"Hoo..." Ah take in a deep breath, bringing mah hat over mah chest. Ah don't understand wut's goin' on, and Ah don't like it one bit.
Ah hide behind tha' corner of a door in the hall and watch as she trots back and forth in the hall, obviously feeling really depressed by mah rejection.
"Well," The Hooman-Rarity sighs, limping out into the room like a wounded deer. "They say they need a few hours to figure out a solution to...this." Hooman-Rarity kicked her leg out.
"Shouldn't they have one by now?"
"Plenty, but none of them are safe."
"Hmm." Native Rarity cupped her cheek and turned to her doppelganger. "Say, what can you tell me about flirting in your world?"
"Flirting?" Hooman-Rarity questioned. "Well, yes, I suppose I could teach you about it, but I have to ask...why?"
"I tried it, and fell flat on my face." Mah Rarity answered. Ah'm can't believe this...not only did she try to flirt with me, but she admits to the next pony over!
"Oh! I do believe those are some Guards right now. All right, come closer and...do this!"
The Hooman-Rarity hugged and pulled Native Rarity close, squishing their, er, stallion attractors together. There's a proper name for them, but Sunset Shimmer and Twilight had a long talk about whether to tell us what the real name for them was, but they both decided against it. Sunset explained that in human interactions, to refer them by name was 'inappropriate'. Lookin' at them squish is kinda funny, really, since they seem to have no bone in 'em, but Ah can't see how it might entice any passing stallions...at least not on our side.
The two passing Crystal Guards stop to examine the two Rarities cuddling each other. They shared a chuckle and kept trotting on.
Hooman-Rarity's jaw dropped. "What!? You're just going to walk off like that?"
"Eerr...yes?" One of the Guards said. "I'm happy you two are being affectionate with each other, but I don't see what the problem is..."
"The problem is, in my home world, this-" She gestured to the squishing, pressing stallion attractors. "-would leave the males with nosebleeds and struggling to stay standing through the heat of their arousal!"
The two Guards exchanged looks.
"Well, ahem," One cleared his throat, "I don't know if you noticed, but this isn't your world. What is hot and attractive in your world, may not be such a big deal in ours."
The two Guards resumed walking, going on their patrol, unfazed by Hooman-Rarity's distress and confusion.
"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't help." Hooman-Rarity apologized, but mah Rarity was already raising her hands to assure her.
"It's no problem...I have an idea..." Mah Rarity said, before trotting down the hallway...
And before Ah realize it, she's already found me in the door.
"Hiiiii..." Ah drawl at her nervously.
"Hello, sailor." Rarity drawled back at me.
She rears up, wraps her front legs around my back, cupping my cheeks with her hands before pulling my face smack-dab into her attractors. Ah'll admit, they're very squishy and soft...they make great pillows...but Ah'm starting to lose oxygen.
"Rarity?" Ah squeeze out through her spheres, tapping a hoof on her shoulder. "Ah can't...seem to breath."
"Oooh!" She lets out a really disappointed whine. "Are you sure you can't hold out a little longer? It feels so good to have you touching me like this..."
Ah blink mah eyes, not entirely shore ah jus' heard that right. Deciding mah air flow was more important than her comfort, Ah put both my hooves on her shoulders and push myself out.
"Rarity, yer one of mah best friends, and Ah like you, but..."
"Oh! Oh! I have an idea!" She cuts me off, skipping excitedly in place. "Would you touch them?"
"Would Ah wut?"
"You know...touch them." She leans down, presentin' the attractions perkily to mah face.
"Um...all right." Ah concede. "Y'all seem real desperate, so Ah guess?"
Tenderly, Ah raise mah hoof and place it against her attractors. They're really soft, and they, like, decompress or sumthun' when Ah place mah hoof on 'em.
Rarity giggles in a way Ah find very unsettlin'. "Ooooh...hehehehe..." Her legs start lifting up an' down like she's in some fancypants music number. "That's it, that's it...harder, please."
"Come again?"
"Press harder!"
Ah think Ah should make it clear, she seems to be enjoyin' this more than Ah'm comfortable wit', but Ah'm shore she would be real upset if Ah stopped... so, despite mah better judgment, Ah follow her request and press mah hooves further into her attractor-thingies.
She starts tah moan, if ya can believe that. Of all tha' things she could do, she had to go wit' moanin'? Not only that, but she leans forward to give me better access to the squishy things, her hind legs kicking out and her eyes turnin real half-lidded.
"Yes...yes." She moans out. "Yes, yes! That's the stuff, right there! Could you do it harder still?...and maybe rub them, too?"
"What are you two doing?"
We both turn to see the Hooman-Rarity standing in the hallway, staring at us with a look half between fascination and shock. Mah Rarity blushes, while Ah jus' look at mah hoof in her attractors.
Ah turn to Hooman-Rarity with a heavily forced grin on mah face, using mah free hoof to bow mah hat. "Howdy. Am Ah, uh,...doin' sumthun Ah'm not supposed tah?"
"That depends on your relationship with her..." Hooman-Rarity answers, resting her cheek on her hand.
"Uh, yeah, well..." Ah alternate mah gaze between the two of them, easily able to tell which one's which by the vest Ah gave mah world's Rarity.
Ah decide to take this opportunity to whip mah hoof out of the squishy things and take off galloping, where Ah find, to mah relief, there is another hallway for me to go through. Wit'out lookin' back, Ah took off like a wagon down the hall.
Ah can jus' barely still hear the sounds of mah Rarity whinin', cryin' mah name and galloping aimlessly after me, wishin' for me to come back and keep on doin' wut Ah've been doin'...
Ah'm not lookin' where Ah'm goin', beyond jus' "Away from Rarity", so Ah don't realize Ah'm about to crash into Princess Cadence until Ah've already faceplated into her mantle.
"Ooww!" Ah pull back, coverin' mah nose with mah hooves. "Yer mantle is hard, Princess!"
Cadence rolls her eyes at me and scoffs. "Well, it is made of gold...hard, solid, gold."
"Yeah, yeah..." Ah dismiss her, too focused on mah hurtin' nose to realize Ah jus' got uppity with royalty.
Wait a minute, Cadence is jus' tha' pony Ah'm lookin' for!
"Princess!" Ah shout, wrapping mah hooves around her shoulders. "Ya gotta help me!"
"With what?" She asks me with concern.
"Rarity's gone cuccko!" Ah explain. "She keeps tryin' to git me tah do... things wit' 'er!"
"What kind of things?" Cadence asks. "And which Rarity?"
"Our Rarity. First, she cupped mah chin with her hoof, then she smashed mah face into her stallion attractors, and then she had mah use mah hooves to squeeze them!"
Cadence raises her eyebrow, putting her hoof to her chin in though. After a moment, she narrows her eyes at me.
"You...didn't give the vest I gave you to her, did you? And make her put it on?"
"Ah didn't make 'er, but yeah...why?"
Cadence smacks her hoof against her forehead. "Because when I said "get rid of it", I meant get rid of it! Burn it! Throw it out! Tear it apart, thread by thread! But NOT "give it to your best friend to wear"!"
"Well, maybe if y'all had TOLD me to do any of those things, Ah might have! Now wut's the problem!?"
"The problem," Cadence growls at me, "is that that vest was a tool of the Crystal Empire's enemies in the distant past! It makes the wearer into the love slave of whoever gave it to them!"
"Love slave?" Ah blink. Ah put mah hooves to mah mouth in horror. "Does that mean wut Ah think it means!?"
"Eeyup." She drawls. "As long Rarity's wearing the vest, the only thing on her mind will be you, you, and when you and her can start getting it on. She will love you for eternity, and want to do everything in her power to make you feel good and taken care of."
"Oh, buck me." Ah pulled mah hat down over mah head to hide from reality.
"Yes." Cadence says. "That's what I just said. You know, Twilight would have realize what I meant..."
"Well, in case y'all hadn't noticed, AH AM NOT TWILIGHT." Ah shout, before timidly asking, "Can we make it stop?"
"Yeah." Cadence assures me. "All we have to do is get the vest off."
"How do we do that?"
"Simple. Just reach up behind her and start unlatching the vest." Cadence explained. "Only...she'll be too busy pursuing you to let me near her, and if you get near her, she'll be more obsessed with dragging you to the bedroom...hmm." Cadence scratches her chin. "Let's see if we can get Auntie Celestia to help."
Cadence helps me sneak down the halls, hiding me behind vases and urns when she catches wind of Rarity nearby, until we can finally got to the mirror room. Unfortunately, it didn't sound their efforts to fix our mix-and-match Rarities were going any better than we left.
"So, Sunset Shimmer..." Princess Luna said, trailing her hoof down the side of the mirror as she tried to think. "How goes your relationship with Fluttershy?"
"Good, good..." Sunset Shimmer answered, doing the same with her hands, looking behind the mirror the way plumbers look under a faucet. "...whyyyy?"
"Oh, no reason." Luna assures her. "Just wondering how well a relationship can truly be when its based of hypnotism."
"Will you let it go!?" Sunset shouts.
"Well, excuse me for being concerned for Fluttershy's well-being!"
"Uh, everypony?" Cadence raised her voice ever so softly, garnerin' tha attention of everypony in the room. "Applejack has a problem...see, I was trying to have her get rid of a magic vest that brainwashed the wearer, but she misunderstood what I meant-"
Oh, misunderstood what y'all meant, mah Cutie Mark. Y'all literally could not have made what you wanted any more ambiguous than y'all did!
"And now Rarity's wearing the vest. We could use your help getting it off her."
"A magic vest that brainwashes the wearer?" Twilight questions the air, looking up with a thoughtful look.
"Aww, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash complains. "You're not really thinking about using that for your plans to usurp Celestia, are you?"
Twilight blushed furiously. "What? No! Of course not! I was just wondering..."
"What's this about a plan to usurp me?" Celestia interjects.
"Nothing! Nothing! It was just a...thought...experiment I had." Twilight lies. "That's all it was."
Celestia doesn't buy it, and her eyes narrow at Twilight. "This wouldn't have something to do with your reaction to knowing I participated in the Erotic Horror Novella Contest, does it?"
"No! No! Of course not! I would never decide to overthrow you just because the sinless, flawless Princess Celestia is actually an extreme pervert..." Twilight mutters the last part.
Cadence turns to look at me. "Let's go. I don't think we're going to get any help here."
"Yeeah..." Ah agree, 'cause Ah can see the look on Celestia's face that just says she's going to retaliate to Twilight's thoughts. "Let's leave while we still can..."
"Soo..." Ah drawl as we trot away from the room. "What do we do?"
"I have an idea." Cadence says, raising her hoof. "Find Rarity, lure her to the bedroom, make her think you're going to give her what she wants...and then before anything naughty happens, I'll swoop in and snag the vest. It's foolproof!"
"Yeah..." Ah mutter, more focused on Rarity not pursuing me anymore than the holes in Cadence's plan, but they slowly appear to me. "Wait, what if Rarity fights ya off?"
"She won't fight me off!"
"Y'all shore? Have ya looked at her sinny-tar form's muscles? Those legs are thick as metal!"
"Well..."
"And what if something interrupts y'all, huh? Wut if we're in the bedroom, and y'all can git tah us 'cause y'all needed to go to the bathroom, or sumthun'?"
"That won't happen." Cadence says with an unamused look.
"Oh yeah? Wut if somepony decides they Rarity and Ah to git it on wit' each other, jus' for their own sick amusement?"
Cadence opens her mouth to answer, but she stops. "That...could happen."
"Darn right it could." Ah mutter. Ah'm not happy 'bout this, in case y'all hadn't noticed that already. Did Ah make that clear? AH'M NOT HAPPY.
"Just go find the nearest unoccupied guest room, go sit on the bed, and call Rarity's name. Before things could too far, I'll come in and rescue you." Cadence instructs me, and though Ah'd really rather have a plan that didn't involve getting all cuddly with Rarity, Ah comply.
Ah'd like a plan like that, but we don't have one, so into the bedroom Ah go.
It doesn't take me too long to navigate the hallways mah way through the hall and find an uncopied guest room. See, the Crystals pride themselves on their hospitality, so more or less every other room is a guest room.
To avoid any unfortunate...views, Ah need one that's not occupied, and Ah find it easily. Ya know how ah can do that? It's simple; check for the mint. If there's not one, it's occupied. If there is one, it's vacant.
Each room is a soothing light blue, with a large, plush bed that could easily house a couple and their foal. The bed's blankets are a light blue that match the décor. In sum of 'em, there are travel posters wit' corny sayin's on 'em. Like 'Why travel the world when you can stay right here at home?"
So, after finding a room that still had a mint left, (and personally taking steps to change that by takin' tha' mint into mah mouth. Ah know, Ah know, Ah'm such a naughty girl) Ah jumped up on the bed, makin' the mattress bounce, and pulled off mah best "seducin'" pose.
"Y'all ready, Cadence!?" Ah shout from the door.
"Ready!" Cadence assures me, opening the door to peek her head in.
"All right...here goes."
Ah take in a very, very, very deep breath and git ready to shout. Cadence pulls away from the door.
"RARITY!"
In seconds, there's a half-hooman, half-pony woman in the room, but it's the Hooman-Rarity. Ah can tell, 'cause she's not wearin' the vest.
"Did you call for me, darling?"
"Other Rarity." Ah growl, mah frustration with the situation risin'.
"Oh. Sorry." Hooman-Rarity turns to leave tha' room, but she's bowled by tha Rarity Ah'm looking charging into the room. "OW!"
"You called for me, darling?" Native Rarity purrs, stepping over her double and using her hind legs to push her double out of the door.
"Yeah, yeah Ah did..." Ah mutter, very, very scared as she very slowly trots towards the bed.
"Oooh...you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to call me." Rarity drawls, still walking slowly up to the bed, spreading her arms to the side to show her total submission to me.
"Pretty shore Ah do..." Ah mutter. "Anyways, y'all have been waitin' for this, huh?"
"Ooh, yes." She drawls as she gets close enough to place one hoof on the bed. She starts climbin' up towards me...
"Uh, Cadence?" Ah murmur, havin' to crawl backwards on the bed to keep Rarity from touchin' me. "Cadence? Cadence, Ah'm ready for that rescue now!"
"What is going on here?" Ah can hear Celestia's voice ask, but for some reason, rather than be filled with hope, mah heart sinks.
"Oh! Auntie Celestia! I was just trying to help Applejack with the fact she's put a brainwash vest on Rarity."
"Girls..." Ah cry out. "Rarity's getting' closer!"
"Uh, Aunt Celestia? Why are you getting the way of the door?"
"I want to listen..." Celestia says.
"WHAT!?" Cadence screams.
"Well, she put the vest on Rarity, didn't she? She should get...punished."
Oh, Ah can't believe this...
"I can't believe this!" Twilight shouts. Ah do believe Ah just said that. "Not only are you a pervert, but you're also a voyeur!"
"I am not!" Celestia snaps, and she sounds more than a little embarrassed 'bout it. Ah think Twilight is right on tha' money.
"Are too! Rainbow Dash! My plan to overthrow Celestia is back on!"
"Fine by me!" Dash says.
"WOULD ONE OF MAH SO-CALLED 'FRIENDS GIT IN 'ERE AND HELP ME, PLEASE!?" Ah scream.
"We would, if Princess Celestia would move her FAT CUTIE MARK out of the way!"
"That is it, young lady! Go to your room!"
"You're not my mother!"
"No. No, you're right. I'm your teacher. "F" for your current assignment!"
"HA! Joke's on you! You already graded my current assignment!"
Ah sigh as Ah resign myself to tha' fact that one way or another, this day isn't gonna end until Rarity gits to have her way wit' me.
"All right..." Ah take in a deep breath and spread mah hind legs out, mah gaze on the firm muscles of white lordin' themselves above me. "Let's git this over wit'..."
To mah surprise, Rarity coos like she's disappointed. "Already? Just like that?"
"Eeyup." Ah answer.
"What, really? No nothing? No teasing? No foreplay?"
"Well, seein' as Ah don't know what foreplay is..."
Rarity shakes her head and clicks her tongue. "Oh, Applejack...I suppose now would be a perfect time to teach it to you."
"All right, fine." Ah sigh, wiping mah hoof over mah forehead. "What is it?"
"What is it? Well, depends on who you ask, but I find its teasing done beforehand so that the actual lovemaking is significantly more..." Rarity chuckles, raising her front leg and stomping it against mah chest, pinning me down.
"Motivated." She whispers.
There is a certain thrill Ah find to havin' such a strong and muscular leg pressing against mah chest. Ah feel like Ah'm in danger, but Ah know Ah'm not. It's actually real exhilaratin'.
She begins rubbing my chest up and down with her hoof, moving as expertly as though she was still a pony. She reaches her human half down and uses the fingers on 'er hand to start scratching behind mah ears.
"Ooh...that's good..." Ah reluctantly admit, kicking mah hind leg out like a dog. Rarity definitely notices.
"Oh, you like that, do you? Like a dog?" She teases me. "Who's a good dog, hmm? Who's a good dog?" She teases further while she scratches behind mah more and more furiously.
"Ah am!" Ah cry out, eager to have mah ears scratched by her expert hands. "Ah'm a good dog!"
Rarity chuckles again. She stops scratching, lifts her hands off me, and starts to turn around, stomping her hooves into mah gut with a hint of sadism. Honestly, Ah like the pressure she's putting on mah stomach.
She flicks her tail into mah nose to let me appreciate how good she smells. Rarity made a point of personal pride to always smell good. Ah had jus' never had the chance to appreciate like this before now.
She leans her human half down and begins to scratch mah Cutie Mark on both sides. Ooooh wow, Ah never knew Cutie Marks could be...stimulated so easily.
"Ooooh..." Ah moan.
"Do you like that?" She asks me with a mocking tone, like she knows that Ah like it, an' jus' wants to hear straight from the pony's mouth.
"Yes...Ah do."
"Excellent, excellent..." She continues sweeping her tail across mah nose while still scratching and rubbing mah Cutie Mark with her hands.
"Oooh..." Ah moan again.
"I have another idea..." Rarity purrs dirtily tah me.
She lifts herself up and turns around again. She lifts her front legs up and wraps her hooves 'round mah, then brutally lifts me up and turns me over, forcing mah face into the pillow while givin' her unrestricted access to mah back.
She lays herself down on mah back and starts to give me a back massage, alternating between her fingers and her front hooves. Dang, she knows jus' where to press an' what to pull.
"Ooooh..."
"Oh," Rarity boasts, "you really like this one, don't you?"
"Ooh, yes..." Ah moan, feeling like butter under her touch. "Ah...Ah don't like this foreplay, Rarity. Ah feel so worked up, an' Ah want sumthun inside me awful fierce."
Rarity chuckles yet again. "That's the whole point, darling...but I guess that's been enough for now...actually, a little more, and then we'll start."
Rarity stands up on mah back, and starts tramplin' on mah back, giving me this amazing feeling of being pounded. There's so much pressure in her blows...
"Ooh! Ooh! OOOH!" Ah squeal repeatedly.
"Hmmhmm...all right, all right, that's enough." Rarity tells me, then her front legs wrap 'round mah chest and pull me up, makin' me sit upright. Ah can feel Rarity movin' herself towards me...yup, let's see...
Her front leg cups mah chin and forces mah head back into her stallion attractors. She lifts me up in her front legs and makes me sit down in her hind legs. Her front legs reach 'round mah shoulders and curl 'round mah chest like vines.
"What to do, what to do, oh yes..." Rarity murmurs as she takes her fingers and begins to massage mah shoulders.
"Are y'all...usin'...magic?" Ah have tah ask. There is no way that she is makin' me feel this good wit'out some assistance from sumthun'.
"No, no. This is all by hoof...or hand, as the case may be..." She tells me, but Ah don't buy it. Ah don't believe it. Ah don't want to believe it. Ah don't want to admit that Rarity of all ponies could make me feel this good...
Ah feel her shiftin' on mah back. Wut's she doin' now?
"Rarity?..Rarity, wut are you doin'?"
"Adjusting for maximum pleasure." She tells me. "You just relax. Let me take care of everything...let me take care of you...I'm here to make you feel good."
"You've already made me feel good..." Ah protest.
"Ah ah Ah! Not like this..."
She starts climbin' up mah back, reaching her front hooves really far down until she reaches mah entrance. She starts using her front hooves to rub me "down there".
Ah can feel her tail sweeping along mah Cutie Mark. Wut's she doin' wit' that?
...OOF!
Her tail seems to be forcing itself underneath mah hindquarters...is she, no, no, she wouldn't- AHH! She is!
Rarity is usin' her tail to enter mah plothole!
"Urrgg!" Ah have to grunt, 'cause Ah wasn't prepared for that. She takes it, cool as a cucumber, and jus' pulsates her tail in and out roughly until mah muscles relax and let her slide in and slide out more smoothly.
Mah eyes lower...mah head drops, and mah tongue starts to loll out of mah mouth as Ah start pantin'. She is putting those new muscles of hers to real good use, and she really wants to make me feel good, jus' like she said she would.
Maybe Ah could...huff, huff, pant, pant, could...git used to havin' a slave like this when she makes me melt like this.
"Ooh! Ooh! Oooh!" Ah keep pantin', and moanin', and mah chest starts havin' forward. "Oooh! OOOH! Rarity! Stooop!"
Of course, Ah say "Stop", but she and Ah both know Ah mean "Go faster and rut me!"
MMMH! HRMP! MMMMMMMHH!
Wut's that, sonny? Oh sorry, it's kinda hard to think when Ah'm being rocked to Luna's moon and back.
Anyways, Ah...Ah think – OW! - Ah think this is 'bout when y'all came into the picture...
"Rarity! Go a little easier- HRRK!" Ah grunt, before Ah start pantin' again as Rarity eases up on her force...but only a little bit, as she still rocking me like a plaything.
"Oooh...oooh...OOOH...oh mah goodness, Rarity...Rarity...stop, stop." Ag! No! Wut am Ah thinkin'!? Ah know when Ah say "stop" she'll take it to mean "go faster!" So she's goin' to go faster, even though Ah really mean for her to stop this time! Ah can't take much more of this! It's almost punishin', at this point! AHHH!
"Rarity...Rarity, quit it..." Ah desperately mumble out, but she starts making her front legs rub mah privates even faster and harder, while contining to push her tail in and out of Mah plot...
Ahh, aahhhh, aahhhhaa... All of our friends should be centaurs! Strong centaurs with deep, thick mucles that make it really hard to fight them off when they're brainwashed into wantin' make love tah us!
Ooooh...oooh, so fast, and so strong. So very, very strong. Ah can't- Ah can't think straight. Ooooh mah goodness, oh mah goodness, oh mah goodness, Ah think Ah'm goin' to-goin' to-
"AAAAAAAAHHAAAAAH!" Ah scream in delight, reaching mah apex. Haa, haa, haa...haa...haa...
Ah can briefly register the sound of mah own labored breathin' before Ah pass out, totally exhausted.
"Well, it took awhile to get to a solution we really should have been able to come up with in the first place,"
"As I recall, you were too busy arguing with "Molestia", as you started to call her, to really think about solving any problems."
"Okaay...maybe I got a little carried away when my perfect image of the Princess was completely shattered into a fine powdery dust..."
"A little?"
"Mrph." Ah grunt, finally regaining of mah thought process to realize Ah was listenin' on somepony's conversation. "Mrph." Ah grunt again to let them know they're disturbing me. "Mrrph." Ah grunt one more time to let them know Ah'd really like somepony to attend to me right now.
"Applejack!" Ah hear a high-pitched voice that could only belong to Rarity exclaim. Ah can feel legs wrapping 'round my chest. "I'm so glad you're all right! I was so worried Ah might have been too hard on you..."
Weakly, Ah open mah eyes, and Ah see Rarity – normal Rarity, as a regular unicorn pony, not a muscular, sexy sinnytar, staring at me wit' her big blue eyes.
"Do you think she'll forgive me?" She asks Twilight, who's also in the room.
"I think she'll be worried about whether or not you forgive her." Twilight answer.
"Oi." Ah snap. "Ah'm awake. Ah can hear y'all an' everythin'."
"Oh..." Rarity whines, stroking mah chin. "I'm so sorry, Applejack...I didn't mean to...to..."
"Go on." Ah tell her. "Ah can take it. Ah'm a big girl."
Rarity sighs, placing a hoof over her eyes. "I didn't mean to tail-hump you into unconsciousness."
Ah lift the velvet blanket that's been tossed over me and offer mah hoof to her, gesturin' for her to come over 'ere. With a tear in her eye, she collapses against mah chest and starts to cry.
"There, there..." Ah assure her, patting her on tha' head. "It's all right...Ah didn't mean to put a brainwashing vest on you."
Rarity keeps sniffling.
"It's okay...it's okay..."
She keeps cryin' into me.
"Seriously, Rarity, let it go. The worst of it is over now."
Rarity finally stops cryin', and she looks up at me wit' those blue eyes of hers. She looks away shyly.
"Applejack?"
"Yeah?"
"If you don't mind me asking...how was it? How was the sex?"
"Ooohh..." Ah groan, slapping mah hoof to mah face. "Do ya really want me to answer that honestly?"
"Well...you ARE the Element of Honesty, after all."
"All right, fine..." Ah roll over on tha' bed so Ah don't have to see her face when Ah tell her...
"It was fantastic."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah...Ah don't see how y'all could've humped me unconscious otherwise."
Rarity giggles. "Oh, I'll be sure to boast about this to my next stallion, then!"
Ah roll mah eyes. "And yer gonna leave off the bit where y'all were turned into a sinnytar, aren't you?"
"Well...perhaps I will exaggerate some details..." She admits without a trace of shame in her voice.
"Centaur." I hear Twilight correct me.
"Wut?" Ah question, sittin' upright from the covers.
"It's "Centaur"."
"Ah know. That's what Ah said. "Sinnytar."
"No, you're saying "Sinnytar", it's just "Centaur."
"Sinnytar...Sinny...tar. Sintar."
"No, no, "CEN-Taur"."
"That's what Ah said! Sintar!"
"No- never mind." Defeated, Twilight buries her face into her hooves.
Ah look down at mahself, and a thought jus' occurs tah me.
"Y'all, um," Ah had to clear mah throat. "Y'all washed me off before ya put me in this bed, right?"
"Yes." Twilight tells me.
"And...the bed Rarity and Ah did it in?"
"Thrown into the fireplace and burnt to cinders." Twilight answer me.
"An' tha' vest?"
"Same."
"Okay." Ah let out a deep breath Ah didn't even know Ah was holdin'. "Say, how did Rarity git back to normal? … As in, Pony normal?"
"Oh, well, we figured it out eventually." Twilight answers. "Just sent them both through the mirror at the same time, and they completed the transformation at one end before our Rarity came back through the mirror."
"It took y'all..." Ah glanced up at tha' clock. "Six hours to come wit' that?"
"Actually, only one." Twilight says to contradict me. "But add in the three hours I spent arguing with my pervert of a mentor, and then the fact you and Rarity were...otherwise engaged...and yeah, that tallies up to about six hours."
"Hmph." Ah huff, crossin' mah front legs. Meanwhile, Fluttershy, Celestia, Luna, Sunset, and Cadence all stream into tha' room.
"Hello, Applejack." Luna greets me courteously. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah...Ah guess."
"Good, good..." Luna says, looking at her sister, Celestia.
Twilight crosses her front legs and huffs. Celestia notices.
"Could you be anymore obvious, my student?"
Twilight raised her hoof, then stepped down off her seat, and bucked the chair she was sittin' on
Celestia facehooved. "That was not an invitation..."
"You were kinda asking for that." Cadence says.
"Just you wait!" Twilight says. "I'll find some blueprints of the vest and modifity, and then I'll make several copies and overthrow you!"
"Twilight..." Cadence complains, trotting up to her former charge. "Don't keep up the vest's legalacy, please."
Twilight jus' continues to huff. "Equestria deserves a leader who isn't a pervert and a voyeur!"
"Perhaps," Cadence admits, "but it also deserves a leader who is mentally stable. Celestia may be a pervert, but she is stable." Cadence pokes Twilight in her nose. "I'm starting to question whether or not you still are."
Twilight bats Cadence's hoof away and starts to shake her hoof at Celestia. "I will stop your lustful rule, "Molestia!"
Celestia shrugs the compliment off with a fit of giggles. ""Molestia," that's a good one...oh, you know what I'll do? I'll spread a rumor that the real reason Sunset run off was because "Molestia" got her. It will intimidate my would-be enemies! They'll be so scared of my perverse nature they'll abandon their plans to dethrone me!...except Twilight, of course, because she knows that's not what happened." She added dryly.
Luna gave her sister an odd look. "Sister, I'm getting you a therapist."
Luna took another look around the room, looking at Sunset. "I'm getting you one too, Little Miss Hypno-Snake." She takes another look around the room, looking between Cadence, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and mahself. She took a particular long look at me and Rarity, probably thinking mine and Rarity's...recent actives.
"You know what? I'm getting all of you therapists."
Author's Note
Author's Notes for "Buffin' Up For "Sinnytars"
I've been meaning to turn Shying Up to Sunsets into a series! The common themes being, of course, first-person view and awkward mind-control sex with a hybrid creature, (Lamia, Centaur, the like...) oh, and humor. Don't forget the humor.
What thing that gave me trouble with this story was the fact that Applejack was supposed to be gettin' on with a Centaur, which is basically a human and horse put together, so I have to ask: what can a centaur do that a pony or human alone can't, bedroom-wise? Ultimately, I couldn't really come up with anything, beyond making so an otherwise non-athletic character (Rarity) had strong, buff muscles. I hope this doesn't ruin the piece too badly for you.
I also had an even harder time writing this than I did Shying Up to Sunsets, because then not only do you have the logic problem of characters "thinking in prose", but then you go and apply to Applejack, who speaks bluntly and briefly anways...it's a nightmare. That said, let me know if you think Applejack is too eloquent or wordy for her character at any point in the story.
And a perpetual problem I have is that I come up with really good, really perverted sex, but I just don't have the stomach to go into TOO vivid detail about it...sigh. Oh well. Use your imagination to extend the scene a little, if it helps.
If you liked this, leave a comment explaining why! And if you didn't like it, leave a comment explaining why!
And for the record, I didn't mean to have the title be THAT explicitly a reference to the title of "Shying Up to Sunsets", but I was going to make the title for each story "[Adverb][Proposition][Proposition][Noun]
I forgot to credit my friend on Fanfiction, "Tails absolution" for helping me refuel my creativity after being dry on idea for awhile.
