The Epic Saga of Luna-tosh

by Pootie D. Trillist

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Sex, Big Macintosh, Random, Gore, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 1836

In an alternate universe, Celestia is a tyrannical dictator, Luna is an upstart, Macintosh is a writer, royalty has fallen in love with common pony, and a revolution is brewing

Two years ago I wrote this and posted it on Deviant Art. The feedback I received was so good that it pretty much became the reason I began writing pony fiction on my spare time. It was not even that good, but from the one fic i received almost 500 views, 11 favorites, and 15 watchers. This is my attempt to revamp this shipping.

In an alternate universe of hardship and despair, the tyrannical despony Celestia has reigned for almost eleven hundred years. Her sister Luna, an upstart who had almost succeed once in overthrowing her rule a thousand years prior, had just returned from her forced exile to rule as a figurehead by Celestia's side.
Even in the midst of the ciaos and confusion, ponies had still managed to live normal, productive lives. Pinkie Pie was still a party planner, Rarity still designed clothes, Rainbow Dash still cleared the clouds, and Flutter Shy still watched the animals. Twilight Sparkle still lived with her friends in Ponyville, but the elements of harmony were never used.
Now an ordinary farm pony has met the defunct Princess of the Night, and a lasting love is born. From this forbidden love affair, a revolution is brewing, but will the mane six you love survive it?

Forget everything you know.

Published 2013-10-01 05:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-01 05:00:01 UTC

For the Mother Buckin Bronies

At the age of 27, Macintosh Apple had already given up on living a remarkable life. His parents had died some years prior, leaving everything to him and his sisters Apple Jack and Apple Bloom. For the sake of tradition, and his sisters' well being; Macintosh knew that giving up his college dreams and working the farm was the only route his life could take. Season after season he worked the land, yielding similar results every time, yet always ensuring a decent life for his sisters and grandma.

Despite being proud of his hard work, living a comfortable life, and still being in his physical prime, the stallion had only one real problem in his life, his lack of any real love interest. There had always been plenty of good mares in Ponyville, just very few with the ability to challenge him mentally. In recent years, he had resorted to sexual relations with sluts at the local bar, if for no other reason than to fulfill his most basic desires.

He hated being called a man whore; Macintosh was very quiet and a philosopher at heart. He spent most of his down time in two places, in the library reading and in the field writing books under a pseudonym. Three of his works had been published, but his family would never know. The proceeds from his novels had only barely paid his family's outrageous taxes, allowing him to put farm profits back into the farm. From this humble life, Mac longed for something more.

=======

Princess Luna was getting ready for yet another boring event. For the first time ever, the Summer Sun Celebration was being held in the same location two years in a row, the small town of Ponyville. This was one of the greatest honors any town could hope to have, but to Luna this was just another boring event.

For the first hundred years of her sister's reign, Luna ruled as a figurehead, tasked with the simple chore of making the night look pretty. For that hundred years, Luna watched as her sister went from bad to horrible. Celestia's Machiavellian ways had caused millions of ponies unspeakable hardship, that is until the day Luna finally had enough. She built up her power and took a stand against Celestia, only to watch her sister win the skirmish.

As punishment for her crime, Luna was forced to spend a thousand years on the moon, in a cold dark climate with no air and hardly any food. Yet when offered to return to Canterlot, Luna was forced with a choice very few ponies could make: either live in luxury while others suffer or continue to suffer herself. Shortly after her homecoming, Luna wished she had picked the first choice.

Her sister paraded her around, taking Luna to different galas and superficial charity events (which never actually helped any one). Celestia was acting like a caring individual while her supporters shunned Luna, believing the younger sister to be nothing more than a villain feeding off of their Queen's good graces. So the smart and generally interesting Princess Luna was frequently forced into isolation, only getting to talk to the most boring of logical ponies.

She longed for a simpler life. She knew that she was only a heartbeat away from the crown of Equestria, but Luna had no interest in power. She only wanted to live a normal life and to be with somepony who loved her. Unfortunately for the Princess of the Night, this would never be the case. Her sister Celestia forbade it, adding that execution would be the punishment. Luna believed that all hope was lost, not knowing that the night ahead would finally hold the answer to her problems.

=======

The party in Ponyville's nicest banquet hall had gone off without a hitch. The catering staff was on their best game, Pinkie Pie had planned the thing to perfection, but Celestia was less than impressed. In her drunken stupor Celestia had left early that night, and per usual she never cared enough to say a word to Luna. The Princess of the Night sat in a corner, isolated from the rest of the ponies, but happy just to be away from Canterlot for a couple of days. She noticed Twilight Sparkle walking over and groaned, this was going to be one of those nights.

In the other side of the room, Macintosh sat and surveyed the area, while sipping on a blend of Hennessy and apple juice. He was scanning the room for any mare worth his time. He had already had his way with most of them, a fact that he wasn't too proud of; but he still felt that this particular party had potential. That's when he saw her, Princess Luna, talking to the local librarian and not enjoying a minute of it. He ordered two drinks and made his way over to the table, listening to Twilight talk about herbal medicine. "So basically I just can't seem to figure it out, does the willow tree's bark really have healing properties?"

Macintosh interrupted, "the bark from that tree has salicylic acid which relives pain and fever." The earth pony casually sat down next to Twilight and smugly continued. "Of course too much of it can kill yuh, but any laypony could tell yuh that much."

"Well... I... um," Twilight was shocked at being one upped by a simple farm pony and walked away determined to find the answer in a book.

This caused Luna to chuckle. "It appears that you have just made the smartest pony at this party look like a foal."

"Hardly, she's just going to check what I just said. Give it a week and she will be banging on my door and begging me to talk to her about the case study on the subject." Macintosh watched as the waiter sat down his drinks, thanking the stallion for his service.

Luna pretended to be interested. "So you read up on a case study about willow bark, I bet that was fascinating."

"Actually I was the student who wrote the study, but I would rather not bore you with the two years I spent learning the medical field." Macintosh watched as Luna stared at the drinks before he continued. "Of course I'm sure there is something of interest to you that we could talk about."

"How did you know Miss Sparkle was boring me?"

"That was simple mam, your eyes gave you away."

"Ok so I'm not convinced that you are the smartest pony in the room, but you might be the most intuitive," Luna was, for the first time that night, genuinely interested a pony. "What's your name?"

"I'm Macintosh Apple, but you can just call me Mac."

"So Mac I see you have two drinks, is one of them for me?"

"Eeyup!"

"You know this is technically treason," Luna teased her new friend. "If I told my sister about this you would be hung at dawn."

"And you would be the one who misses out." Macintosh smiled, causing a chill to run down Luna's spine.

Luna returned the smile, trying her hardest to keep the earth stallion from catching her off guard. "You really would risk death before you even knew me? I'm not sure if that makes you honorable or stupid."

"In all fairness I'm probably a little bit of both." Macintosh stared deep into Luna's eyes as he spoke. "So I guess I just need to know if you want this drink?"

"Eeyup," Luna mustered her best Macintosh impression, causing the stallion to laugh out loud. He was less than pleased with the unwanted attention his laugh had received, but in spite of it the two began a round of conversation and drinks which lasted well into the night.

Somehow that night ended with the odd pair walking back to Mac's house, where the two partook of more drinks. Conversations led to flirting and even more drinks. More drinks led to a very hazy start to the next day.

=======

Luna awoke with a hangover the next morning, wondering how her night had ended, when suddenly something jogged her memory. Macintosh entered the room carrying a breakfast tray full of apple pancakes, eggs, and coffee. Luna realized that she was in Mac's bed and leapt up in shock. "Oh my God my sister is going to kill us both!"

"Now what are yuh goin on about?" Macintosh asked as he carefully set down the tray.

"She is going to have both of us executed! She made me an enemy years ago, killing me would only give her reason to get involved with another war! This is just perfect, I humped a commoner."

Macintosh coaxed the night princess into taking a seat and calming down. He made her take a deep breath before handing her a cup of coffee. "Listen Luna, what your sister don't know won't hurt her. Now I can promise you this much, I have never met a mare quite like you before, and even though we barely know each other I still feel there is something special here. You are rare, you actually get me; and even though you can't hold your liquor well, I think I would rather die than not have the right to see you again."

Suddenly Luna was inspired. Once again she jumped up from the bed, this time spilling the coffee all over Macintosh. "If you can learn to love me than anypony can. Under my banner we shall unite all of Equestria in a glorious revolution against my sister. They will no longer be part of a tyrannical empire, through my revolution we shall become a new republic!"

"You crazy bitch!" Macintosh scoffed at the idea. "You have no idea just what you are proposing! That would take thousands of lives and millions of bits."

"How dare you call the Princess of the Night a bitch you son of a horse!"

"How dare you try tuh get me killed after one night together!"

"Well buck you!"

"Buck you!" Macintosh finished the conversation, and yet somehow realized that this wasn't over. The ponies ended up entangled in coitus for nearly another hour that morning, and by the end of their wild session the thought of revolution didn't sound too bad. The two ponies really did think alike, but a full scale revolt still seemed like a task far beyond either of their reach.

Author's Note

The original version looks like something written by a twelve year old kid, this one took some thought and effort.
(And a lot of weed)

So here's the goal, if you like my story please hit the like button and I will consider redoing the rest of it based on the number of likes compared to the number of dislikes. If y'all don't like it I won't waste my time. Not bad for a dread though.

:eeyup: + :trollestia: = gold lol