Messages from Canterlot High

by aricaitlyn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 7802

After the trouble at the school's Fall Formal, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are sent to different towns to tell others everything.

Since the incident with Sunset Shimmer at Canterlot High's Fall Formal, the news channels are abuzz with speculation. Rainbow Dash, an athletic teen girl who supposedly gained the power of flight that night, is sent out of district alongside Pinkie Pie, her best friend, whose attention span seems to shorten by the minute. Together, they must tell people all over the world the exact information about that night while also blending in as normal high school girls wherever they end up. Are they capable of doing it?

Published 2013-09-29 19:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-26 22:03:28 UTC

1: The Mission

It was just another ordinary day at Canterlot High, or so I thought. I sat in math class finishing up Friday's quiz when an announcement came over the intercom.

"Rainbow Dash to the principal's office immediately, Rainbow Dash to the principal's office immediately. Thank you."

I put my pencil down. People sitting around me stopped their writing to stare at me. It's like they were almost anxious to know what I was in trouble for this time, if there even was trouble.

"I didn't mean to steal Principal Celestia's slacks!" I wanted to shout. "I just wanted to prove a point to Rarity!" But instead, I pulled my backpack on and walked out of the classroom, trying my hardest not to make eye contact with anyone.

Closing the door behind me, I took a right turn and found the staircase, the same one that had led me straight to Principal Celestia's office many, many times before. I opened the door to the office (our school called it a "guidance office") and stepped inside. A school secretary sat at a desk, clacking away on her computer.

"Hey, Principal Celestia wanted to see me, so...I'm here?" The nervous way I spoke made it sound like a question.

She pulled her hands away from the keys once she noticed me. "Ah! Rainbow Dash, you're right on time. Step right into that office; Celestia said that she had big plans for you!" Her voice was singsongy, making these "plans" sound either really awesome or totally diabolical.

I gulped and began to play with my hair, keeping my hands busy. "Plans?"

She nodded. "Something about a confirmation. I don't know, but she seemed really eager. Almost like she was dying to tell you the news!"

I took a gulp and stepped into Celestia's office, prepared to apologize endlessly for this week's shenanigans until no words remained. But instead of looking businesslike and angry with me, Principal Celestia sat at her desk with her feet up, and it looked like she had gotten herself another pair of slacks. Her sister, Vice Principal Luna, sat next to her. The two were sharing a box of donuts.

"I'm sorry to interrupt...whatever this is, but you wanted to see me?"

I took a seat in the wooden chair Celestia would set aside for me whenever I had to see her. The chair was a bit too firm for my tastes, but otherwise comfortable for sitting and listening to one of Principal Celestia's lectures on "responsibility" and/or "anti-vandalism".

Principal Celestia swallowed and immediately sat up, almost like she was afraid that I had seen her not being, well, principal-y. "No, it's fine. Luna, the lights!"

Luna stood up, holding a chocolate donut with blue frosting in her mouth. She flicked out the room's lights and took her seat, munching on the donut.

Celestia turned on her projector, displaying a PowerPoint presentation. "The city of Canterlot, a diverse and tranquil city full of unique landmarks," Celestia narrated.

She clicked to the next slide. "But exactly one month ago, trouble in the form of inter-dimensional travelers appeared."

The next slide showed a picture of the school's horse statue. "According to thirty-five online forums and one guy down the street, this statue encloses a portal to another dimension. We believe that the travelers from this dimension begin as frogs and come into our world in the same forms as us."

"I know that, Principal Celestia. Everybody knows about the dimension-traveling frogs. But what does this have to do with me?" I asked.

Celestia turned to the next slide. A video taped from a local news channel began to play. "This just in," the news reporter, a tall woman with yellow skin and purplish hair announced. "Six girls with equine traits were seen just tonight. They were capable of vanquishing evil forces, the one in question having escaped from another dimension. Footage was shot of Canterlot High's destruction. A satanic demon, most likely from another dimension, had faced off against these girls and lost. Canterlot High's foundation was also lost, and rebuilt from scratch as punishment for the demon's destructive actions. Witnesses say that this event was all but a hallucination, induced by either lack of sleep or some kind of a mental dysfunction. Half of the witnesses were high-school students who had been supposedly brainwashed by the demon. And now, tomorrow's forecast."

Celestia stood up and turned off her projector screen. Luna hit the lights. "We need you to visit other places to prove that this event was real. Even though there was footage and proof, some people are still skeptical of the whole thing." Celestia clapped her hands together and her expression grew darker. "Canterlot High needs more buzz. Heck, the city of Canterlot could seriously benefit from all of this!"

The trash can next to Principal Celestia began to shake suddenly. Without hesitation, Celestia kicked the trash can over and Pinkie Pie, my best friend, tumbled out. Her frizzy pink hair was coated in a fine layer of garbage, and instead of her usual cardigan, skirt, and combat boots, she wore a black hoodie and gray jeans.

"I'm here!" Pinkie announced, standing up. A large smile spread across her face.

Celestia put her hand on Pinkie's shoulder. "Pinkie Pie here will assist you in your travels."

Pinkie did a cartwheel in my way, then jumped. "I'm so excited for this, Dashie!" She suddenly snapped into a military-like salute. "I mean, yes, ma'am, Rainbow Dash, I am prepared. Hee hee!" Pinkie began to hop around in place, swinging her arms back and forth.

I nodded. "Okay. Where are Pinkie and I headed?"

"You'll be going all around the world," Celestia replied. "Your first stop is a little town called Vasqville. Assemble a home base and try your hardest to blend in with their world. Prove that there's nothing shady about you whatsoever, yet prove that the events of the Fall Formal were legit. Check in with us every night." Celestia handed me a pink backpack. "Everything that you'll ever need is in here."

I cringed. I look good in all colors of the rainbow, but definitely not pink. It was much too girly for my tastes. I was surprised that I could get along so well with Pinkie Pie; the girl's a pinkaholic. "Can I get this in a less...girly color?" I asked, holding the bag like it was contaminated with some kind of deadly disease.

Celestia shook her head and smiled at me. "According to our studies, the females of Vasqville wear the color pink quite often! You'll blend right in!"

I sighed and slung the bag over my shoulder. "Fine."

Pinkie Pie jumped up and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. "Oh, I'm so nervouscited!" she squealed.

"Pinkie, that's...not even a real word..."

I led her outside of the office. Celestia and Luna waved goodbye, then turned back to their almost-empty box of donuts.

2: Makin' Our Way Downtown

According to what Principal Celestia had told us, Vasqville was either a long walking distance or a short flying distance away. Since I had no idea how the heck I could even obtain my wings again, Pinkie and I chose to walk to town. But, of course, instead of walking, I began to sprint. Faster and faster, the satisfying thud of my sneakers hitting the pavement. Years of running cross-country as well as other sports had strengthened my muscles and nearly tripled my top speed.

"Dashie! Wait up!" Pinkie shouted, sounding a bit out of breath.

I stopped mid-sprint and turned, waiting impatiently. I forgot how weird it was to not be constantly racing somebody else. Pinkie finally caught up to me. Her forehead was dripping with sweat, and she had pulled off her black hoodie. "Can't you just...fly us there?" she asked, huffing loudly.

I shook my head. "You know that I don't know how."

As if on cue, the pink backpack I had been carrying along the way fell to the ground, like it was controlled by another force. The pack shook. A pair of blue pegasus wings spurted out of the back of the pack.

"Awesome!" I exclaimed, picking the bag up. "Principal Celestia said nothing about winged backpacks!"

The wings on the bag began to flit up and down. My feet rose off the ground along with the bag. Without hesitating, Pinkie Pie grabbed my ankle as we went up higher and higher into the sky.

Once we had gotten up as high into the sky as possible, I began to give a bit of dramatic dialogue, my specialty at times like this. "Okay, Pinkie, our mission begins now. Let's inform the people of Vasqville."

Pinkie let out a little squee sound. "Oh! Oh! Dashie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sing an information song, please?"

I groaned. "An information song?"

"Yeah. About our mission, you know. A song."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Just make it quick."

Pinkie Pie inhaled loudly. "One, two, a one, two, three...

We'll tell you what to know, know, know
We'll show you what you don't know
We'll inform you with information!
Information, information, information
Spilled out at our destination
Information, information, information
Yeah!"

As the wings flew us to Vasqville, Pinkie kept singing. It felt like it had been a thousand years until I finally decided to speak up. "Pinkie...will you please...stop...singing?"

Pinkie held up her index finger, indicating that she was almost done and didn't want to be interrupted by me. "In-for-ma-tioooooooooooooon! The end!" I could hear her gasp. "Ooooh! What's that?"

I looked up to see what she was seeing. "Vasqville. This must be the place." The wings on the backpack stopped moving and we landed on the ground.

"Okay, first we need to set up our home base." Pinkie Pie giggled.

I groaned. "Focus! You've gotta observe life here, okay?" I asked. Pinkie nodded. "Then, based on your observations, we'll begin to live here, completing our mission." I handed her the pink backpack and began to walk around, looking for a good plot of land to build my house on. Most of the neighborhoods and cul-de-sacs I passed were crowded with houses, all except for what looked like a rather shady part of town. The streetlights flickered and there weren't many houses, but it was also very close to the school. I wouldn't need to ride the school bus each morning and afternoon; I could just walk back and forth.

I sat down on the little plot of land, waiting for Pinkie to get back with her information. As if on cue, Pinkie returned, grinning. She handed me my backpack and I pulled it back on.

"Awesome work, Pinkie," I said. "Did you find out anything important?"

Pinkie Pie stuck her orange tongue out and pointed near the city. "Three bakeries in there. Three."

"And?" I asked.

"Of course I want to visit them, Dashie! You know that it's my dream to work at one!" She let out a loud gasp. "Maybe one of them is hiring! Yayyyy!"

"Oh, whatever. Let's just figure out our outfits, and then we can build this house."

"I want to be a mongoose," Pinkie said, one of her usual non-sequiters.

"Oh my gosh, Pinkie. No. Just...no."

I began to shuffle around in the backpack that Celestia and Luna had given me. I was told that everything I would need is in this very bag. Sure enough, there were clothes, suitable for me and Pinkie to wear as part of our "blending in".

I pulled out the wad of clothes and began to sort them accordingly. "Too pink," I muttered, tossing a pink, silky top behind me. "Too frou-frou," I groaned, throwing the wadded-up dress to the ground. My eyes finally rested on my outfit of choice. It was a pair of black skinny jeans with a dark purple hoodie. A pair of white socks were balled up on top, as well as a new pair of sneakers, running shoes with rainbow laces.

"AWESOME!" I exclaimed, hugging the clothes to my chest. I spun around quickly and noticed Pinkie almost staring at me. "I'm going to put these clothes on, Pinkie. You might want to turn around."

Pinkie blushed. "Oops, sorry!" She jumped, did a spin in mid-air, then sat, her back facing me. I rolled my eyes. She is so random sometimes.

Without hesitating, I unbuttoned the top button of my short-sleeved jacket and untied my shoes. Less than a minute later, I was dressed in the new outfit. I noticed an elastic band around the socks, and I used it to pull my hair up. Rarity would have been proud of me for trying out a new look.

"Pinkie, I'm dressed, you can turn around now!"

Pinkie turned around and immediately looked almost scared to see me. She began to look around frantically.

"What are you looking for?" I asked her.

"Dashie!" she called out, her voice growing thick. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here," I replied. She spun around and grinned.

I picked up the backpack and began to shuffle through it. "Okay, maybe you need a new outfit, too."

Pinkie shook her head.

"Alright," I replied, zipping up the backpack. "Now, I guess we need someplace to live."

Suddenly, I felt a vibration in the back pocket of my jeans. I reached back and pulled out the thing that was vibrating. It was a smart cell phone, complete with a touch screen and everything. I didn't even have a phone to begin with, so this was, of course, awesome for me.

A message appeared on the screen. Without even knowing how to operate a smart phone, I touched the screen. The message opened and the phone vibrated again. A strange magical surge encased the phone. Without thinking, I pointed the phone towards the empty plot of land where I planned to live. A house appeared, the same magical aura surrounding it. Different lawn items grew all around the house in odd placements.

The magic began to waft away, leaving me and Pinkie alone in front of this empty house. Of course, I stepped right in. Pinkie Pie followed, skipping happily. I closed the door behind me and wiped off the sweat beam that I hadn't even noticed before. Step one had gone smoothly.

3: Welcome to Vasqville High

After assembling my home, I assumed Pinkie as my legal guardian. Somehow, this seemed to work; she was older than me and even had a realistic fake ID on hand. With my new "mother", I was able to enter Vasqville High School under the guise of a regular teenage girl. Well, a regular teenage girl with blue skin. Everyone I saw here had an odd shade of skin, like a mixture of Applejack and Rarity's skin tones. It was an odd peachish color, ranging from light to dark. Some of the people here had a much darker color, almost like dirt. But I learned the hard way not to act weirded out by darker-skinned folks, because apparently folks here call that "racism". That's a word I had never heard before, yet don't want to hear again.

The woman who had helped me enroll in this school had given me a schedule, something that I recognized, for once. But instead of showing nine class periods, there were only four classes available: homeroom, lunch, gym, and library, in that order. I was confused, but then again relieved that I didn't have to retake my core classes.

My homeroom class was taught by a teacher named Miss Smith. Miss Smith was a tall woman with a pale complexion who wore dark clothing. Despite her age, a few freckles graced her face, and her gray-streaked blonde hair was tied up in a no-nonsense bun. She wore a pair of thin glasses, held by a gold chain. For some reason, she reminded me of Applejack from Canterlot High.

"Class, I'd like to introduce the newest member of our student body." Miss Smith's voice had a slight accent to it, almost exactly like Applejack's. "Her name is Rainbow Dash."

I was standing in the middle of the room, feeling rather awkward by the students in the class staring me down like I was part of a crime ring or something.

"Rainbow Dash," Miss Smith continued, "are you going to introduce yourself?"

I ran my fingers through my hair. As I did this, I saw the odd lack of students in this class with rainbow-striped hair. Fitting in would be harder than I thought.

"Well?"

"Uh," I began. "I just moved here from the city of Canterlot. I hope that we can all get along!"

"Take your seat, Rainbow Dash. I've got to leave the classroom to take care of an errand." Miss Smith stood up and began to walk out of the classroom. From what I had experienced back at Canterlot High, a teacher leaving the room left the students to party. But here, not so much. The students just sat around, looking bored out of their skulls.

I walked to an empty seat, one next to an interested-looking girl with black hair that was pinned back into a ponytail. She wore thick-rimmed glasses and a black coat. Her coat was unzipped, showing a purple T-shirt. She continued to stare me down, mouth agape, until I looked away. This girl, to me, looked a lot like Twilight Sparkle, the mysterious purple-skinned girl who had united me and my old friends back at Canterlot High. Twilight was also crowned Princess of the Fall Formal, and had dethroned Sunset Shimmer.

"Alright," the girl said. "Am I the only one here who sees the horse-woman in class?"

The students looked around. She pointed at me. "There! Right there! That's no regular girl, that's one of the horse-women that was on the news!"

"Not this again!" a girl behind me remarked. "Taylor, you're insane."

Taylor continued to state her point. "What about her skin? It's blue!"

"I have a condition," I groaned.

"And her rainbow hair? Is that also part of your 'condition'? Should we call the school nurse in here?"

I sat up, suddenly entertained by this crazy Twilight Sparkle lookalike. A boy sitting behind Taylor tapped her shoulder. Taylor spun around and pushed up her glasses.

"So just because somebody looks different, that makes them a horse-woman?" the boy asked.

Taylor groaned and pulled out a notebook from her backpack. She opened it to a specific page, one with a drawing of a humanoid like her and another with a drawing of the type of creature I had become, with pony ears, a tail, and blue feathered wings.

"This is us," Taylor stated, pointing to the picture on the left. Her finger moved to the picture on the right. "And this is Rainbow Dash! Does anybody see the difference? Are there any questions?"

"I have one," a girl's voice said. Taylor and I, as well as the rest of the class, turned around to see her.

"What is wrong with you?!" the girl continued. "This sort of conspiracy crap is all you ever talk about!"

I found this moment perfect to butt in with my genuine blend of sarcasm and rudeness. "Yeah, she's always saying stuff like that." I grinned. A few of the students nodded.

"You just got here!" Taylor shouted. She turned to the rest of the class. "Don't let her trick you!"

"Well, she does look kinda weird," a kid next to me remarked. A few other kids nodded in agreement.

Taylor smiled. "You see? Actual proof that I'm right! Finally, a way to prove that I'm...I'm..."

"...crazy!" I finished, leaning back in my seat.

"That makes lots of sense!" one girl remarked.

"We almost believed her," another voice replied.

The classroom bell rang. My classmates grabbed their things in unison and walked out. Taylor stepped outside, into a courtyard area. I followed, figuring that this was a shortcut to the next class.

Taylor turned around to see me. "Maybe your crappy disguise worked on everyone else. Sure. But they'll know the truth soon enough."

I scoffed and picked up the pace, just trying to get away from her. "Nobody will believe you."

Taylor skidded out in front of me. "They will, though, if they see what's really underneath! A pair of feathered wings, ears, and a tail!"

Taylor dropped her backpack to the ground and pulled out a pair of what looked like handcuffs. "Pretty," I remarked, the only thing I could think to say at this moment.

"They're sleep cuffs. They'll knock creatures like you unconscious."

I became skeptical of her methods. "How do you know if they work if you've never actually found something like me before?"

A devious grin spread across Taylor's face. "Then we'll have to see, won't we?"

4: The Chase

Taylor leaped at me, hollering loudly. I couldn't move; she had pinned me to the ground.

With a sudden jolt of strength, I pushed Taylor off my back. "Leave me alone!" I shouted. "What did I do to you?"

Without even thinking, I began to run. Down the stairs in the courtyard and right through a door, leading me back into the school building.

"Whew." I wiped the sweat from my forehead and leaned against a set of lockers in the hallway. "That was a close one."

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" Taylor hollered. I screamed and began to run faster, until I reached the end of the hallway. Dead end. My best bet was slipping into a classroom, but I didn't want this drama to interrupt any classes.

Taylor approached me, holding the cuffs roughly. "Maybe, when they find more like you, you'll become part of the Taylor race. A race of horse-women all over the world! I know they're hiding, and once I find one, they'll all reveal themselves! Ha!"

Instead of tempting fate, I continued running. I had left the dead end, looking for an exit. I was gonna leave this school for the day and leave Taylor to do...whatever she's gonna do.

"See ya, Taylor!" I hollered, leaving the school. I yanked on my backpack and the two wings popped out. I began flying back to my house, back home to tell Pinkie about my first day.

The wings, which somehow knew where they were headed, got me home in about ten seconds flat. Pinkie stood at the door, wearing an apron. "Welcome home!" she said, pulling me in for a hug like the mother decoy she was. We stepped inside and she shut the door behind us.

"How was school?" Pinkie asked.

"Eh, not too good. This girl, Taylor is terrorizing me," I replied. "But I can take 'er."

There was a knock at the door. Pinkie stood up and opened it. Taylor stood behind the door. "Your little tricks won't fool me, Rainbow Dash! I know where you live!"

Pinkie slammed the door. Taylor continued to persist, banging on windows. "You can't hide forever, Dash! I've been preparing for this all my life!"

Pinkie pulled out a remote and pressed a button. Outside, one of our lawn animals had obliterated the "horse-woman sleep cuffs" with a laser beam. Taylor stood, shocked. "Okay..." she said, turning on her heel. "I'm gonna go home and...prepare."

"I feel good about how today went," I said, slumping on the couch.

Meanwhile, at Canterlot High...

Principal Celestia sat at her desk, drinking from a can of soda. Her phone, which was located on her desk, suddenly began to ring. She read the caller ID and saw that it was Rainbow Dash, calling from Vasqville.

Celestia picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey. The mission goes well," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Alright. Have you told anybody about the conspiracy?"

Rainbow cursed on the other line. "No...I'm sorry. It just slipped my mind. This girl was terrorizing me today, and..."

"Terrorizing you? How?"

"The thing is, I think she already knew about me being a...whatever I became. I didn't say anything to her about it."

Celestia nodded. "Okay. Well, is that all?"

"Hello!" a perky, loud voice exclaimed.

Celestia nearly dropped her phone due to the volume of the caller. "Pinkie Pie?"

"Yes-yes-yes! Dashie and I are having a grrrr-eat time here in Vasqville. I'm her mom."

"Uhh...what?"

"Not really, though. That would be crazy."

Celestia fiddled with a pencil on her desk. "Right."

"Pinkie, we've got to hang up!" Rainbow Dash said from the other side of the room.

"Oh, right," Pinkie replied. "Well, we've got to go!" Pinkie hung up. Celestia put her phone down and turned back to her soda.

5: Friendship is Tragic

I sat alone in the school cafeteria. Sitting alone was not at all something that I was used to, considering that I was one of the most popular athletes back at Canterlot High. Oddly enough, this school doesn't seem to have sports teams, which is a big disappointment.

You know what else is disappointing about this school? The food. It looks like glorified toxic sludge, prepared with no heart or thought whatsoever. Of course, it's most likely inedible. I picked at the meal on my tray (they called it "chicken fried steak") skeptically with a spork. Two girls walked by my table, probably gossiping to one another.

"That new girl's such a freak," the blonde said. My ears perked up. Were they talking about me?

"What's her name? Rachel?" her friend, a short girl with brown hair, asked.

"She's been here long enough to make some friends, like that freak Taylor."

"I heard they were fighting in the courtyard."

"Maybe that's how those two communicate, through fights. Maybe this new girl can't speak."

"But she's all by herself. Not having friends is just...weird."

I stood up and pushed my tray to the side. "Alright," I said aloud. "I guess I'm gonna scope out some friends."

I looked towards a table. Two kids were sharing a cupcake. At another table, Taylor sat with another girl. They think that I'm friends with her? I immediately turned away.

I approached a darker corner of the cafeteria, where a few kids sat at a table. One girl had glasses and black, curly hair cut short. Another girl was slim with brown hair and glasses. The two were arguing loudly, but didn't seem mad at each other. It was almost like they were...singing.

"I'm looking for somebody to be my friend," I said.

"BECAUSE I AM THE LORD, LORD, LORD OF DIAMOND SWOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!" the two girls sang loudly. They ended their song with loud cheering and clapping, despite the fact that the tables surrounding them were annoyed by the song.

The girl with the black hair turned to see me. "Oh, hi. Would you like to sit here?"

I nodded and sat down next to her. Across from me sat another girl, a friend of these two. She wore a black-and-gray hoodie and her short hair was in a ponytail. "Hey, girl!" She stood up and got in my face, pushing her chest against mine.

"Do you want to sing again, Ivy?" the slim girl with the glasses asked.

"Yeah," Ivy replied. "Any other songs?"

"Nah, my throat's dry." The slim girl took a sip from her skim milk carton. Ivy looked almost disappointed.

"Why do you guys scream so much? Like, what do you get out of it?" I asked. The three girls turned to see me, like they had forgotten that I was there.

"We're expressing our individuality," the slim girl began.

"Nobody else does it," Ivy added.

"It's fun to scream," the girl who had gotten in my face said.

"I don't know how you guys could ever be my friends," I muttered, standing up and walking away.

I ended up at another table, where three kids were. "Okay, who wants to be my best friend?"

The three kids smiled.

"I have devised some simple tests to determine who is the best." I knocked over a carton of milk. "Clean this up."

The first kid left. The second one just sat there, while the third got on the floor, holding a wad of napkins. She began to clean the mess up, only stopping to push her blond bangs out of the way.

"The next thing I'll test is your speed in an obstacle course. Make it from one end of the cafeteria to the next. Running into something or someone is a penalty."

The two kids stood, ready to run. I pulled out my phone, which had a pretty nifty stopwatch app.

"On your mark, get set, go!"

They were off, navigating their way through the labyrinth that was a high school cafeteria. The second, who had decided to stand around during the absorbency test, ran into quite a few students. Her penalties were growing higher and higher. The third, however, was fast. She swerved and jumped her way through the cafeteria and even cleaned up some trays of food on the way.

"Time's up!" I turned off my stopwatch. The girl with the blond hair was the winner.

"We have a winner! What's your name?"

She smiled. "My name is Dana! Wow, I've never won anything before!" She wrapped her arms around me, embracing me in a hug. "I'll be the bestest, most loyalest friend ever!"

I had led Dana to the table where the two gossiping girls from before sat.

"I'd like you all to meet Dana. She's my best friend."

The blond girl who had mocked me scoffed. "Whatever."

I could see the jealously in her eyes. "Not your best friend! Mine! Dana is mine!"

"Get lost, losers!"

I nodded. "Alright. I guess I'll get lost." I led Dana out of the cafeteria.

"But I'm getting lost with my best friend."

6: Somebody's Watching Me

Dana and I hung out all day. She was actually pretty nice, in all honesty. A bit clumsy and loud, but still very kind. Since we lived in the same neighborhood, we had decided to walk home together.

"So, tomorrow there's this new movie coming out! I was thinking, maybe you and me could go? Best buds, right?" Dana held out her fist for a fist-bump.

I put her hand down. "You're a great friend, but now that the whole school knows that we're companions, I don't think I'll be seeing you anymore. We're done. Good job. Now, have a great day."

I stepped in through the door. The door was almost closed, but Dana jammed her head in the gap between the door and the frame. "Got any video games?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah."

Dana nodded and pulled her head out. She just kinda stood there for a second. It was freaky, so I closed the door. I did a good thing today.

I slumped down on the couch, when suddenly a piece of paper was slipped underneath the door. I turned it over. Dana had clumsily drew a picture of us together. She had written "best friends" across the top, but her handwriting was a bit shaky. That was actually kinda cute. The kid admires me, wow. I hung the picture on the wall with a thumbtack.

The phone rang. I picked up. "Hello?"

Dana was on the other line. "How're you doing, Dash?"

"Dana? I told you I was busy."

Dana sighed. "Nah, I get it. But I was thinking tomorrow we could-"

The phone beeped, indicating that there was another caller.

"Hold on," I told Dana, switching lines. "Hello?"

"You're gonna love this movie! It's PG-13! No restrictions!" Dana squealed.

I put the phone down quickly. I mean, I knew I was awesome, but Dana is just being a supercreep.

I pulled my head up and peered out the window. Dana was on the curb outside, sitting on a bike. She rode away the minute she saw me. I shuddered.

"Pinkie!" I hollered.

For whatever reason, Pinkie was just chillin' on the ceiling. She fell to the ground, then landed on her feet. "What's up, Dashie?"

"I'm going to my room. Don't let anyone in."

Pinkie saluted. "Yup!"

I remained in my room for the rest of the night, listening to the music on my phone. It's not like I was afraid that Dana was stalking me or anything. I peered outside every five minutes, is that so wrong?

I opened my door the next morning. I could hear bacon sizzling on the stove. Pinkie made me bacon? How thoughtful of her!

I stepped into the breakfast nook, but was suddenly stopped by Dana, who was cooking bacon. "You showed up just in time!"

I screamed. "Get out of my house!"

Dana pouted and tilted the pan towards me. "You don't like bacon?"

"Out!" I repeated, pointing at the door. "Out, out, out, out!"

Dana performed a walk of shame, still holding her skillet of bacon. I stood on the doorstep, making sure she walked home and never stalked me again.

"We can walk to school together!" Dana exclaimed.

"I'm sick," I replied, touching a finger to my blue skin. "Blue flu. Highly contagious. You might wanna go." I slammed the door and slumped down on the couch.

"What was that all about?" Pinkie asked me.

"Dana is following me. Cree-py," I replied.

"I'll go and talk to your friend." Pinkie stood up and walked out the door. I shrugged and hoped that Pinkie wouldn't cause any damage.

7: Do You Know That You're My Very Best Friend?

On Saturday, I lazed around instead of doing my usual weekend workouts. I spent the entire day camping out on the couch, only getting up for food and restroom breaks.

Pinkie entered the house, holding a bag from Party City. She walked across the room into the kitchen, trying to act subtle about what was in the bag. I stood up to get some more food. I was in the mood for a sandwich. Pinkie was strategically trying to put the bag on the table, but everything inside of the bag kept falling out. I saw party poppers, hats, and favors. She kept trying to pick everything up and put it back inside.

"What are you doing?" I asked, startling Pinkie. The party popper in her hand fell to the ground, her finger still attached to the string. It let out a loud boom, a mess of confetti, and the smell of sulfur.

"N-nothing!" Pinkie exclaimed, frantically picking up the confetti and fanning the air.

"You sure about that?" I asked, squatting down to scoop up some of the confetti.

Pinkie sighed. "Dana is planning a party for you and she's going to invite everyone from school because she loves you!" As soon as the words came out, Pinkie threw her hands over her mouth.

"Are you serious?"

"That girl loves you so much! I swear to God, she built a shrine to you! And I'm making the cake for the party!"

I gasped. "She's bringing everyone? Do you know what this means?"

Pinkie stirred the cake batter. "Uh..."

"We're effed!" I shouted, my voice cracking.

"Aw, no!" Pinkie cursed.

"I know!"

"Oh my God, Pinkie..." I began to spaz out, running my fingers through my hair. "Can you imagine how much explanation this would cause us?! What if Taylor found out that we really were the 'horse-women'?! Oh, friendship is tragic!"

Pinkie stood, poker-faced. She continued to stir the batter. I sat down.

"I can see it now...Dana is leading her tribe to our house at this very moment. Planning our demise. We'll never have a moment to ourselves 'cause we're freaks!"

There was a knock at the door, bringing me back into the real world. I answered the door shakily. The only girl on my doorstep was Dana. She held a small box in her hands.

"It isn't much," Dana says, passing it to me, "but I sure hope you like it!"

I opened up the box. Inside was half of a best friends heart necklace. I hardly ever wore jewelry, but it was very pretty. I unclasped it and put it around my neck. "Thank you so much!" I said, and I really meant it. "But where's the other half?"

Dana pulled her keys from her pants pocket. The other half was attached to the keyring. She put the two together. They connected with a magnetic click.

"I've got a present for you, too!" I told her.

"Oh, really?"

I nodded. "Yup. I'll be right back."

As I made my way into my room, I began to think. What could I possibly have to gain from this event? I had planned to put magic glasses on Dana to trick her into thinking that everything moving was actually me, but for the moment being, that just seemed cruel and heartless. If anything moving represented me, the kid wouldn't last a second. Eh, I guess I'll save it for someone who's actually worth the torture. I came back into the room and greeted Dana.

"Where's the present?" she asked.

"Well, by the looks of it, nobody you invited came to your little shindig, so...what do you want to do?"

Dana shrugged. "I dunno. There's always a movie."

"A movie, huh? Sounds nice."

Dana jumped a bit. "Oh, wait, you can't go. Sorry I asked."

"Why not?"

"Blue flu, right?" She pointed to my skin.

"No, I always look like this. Can I let you in on a secret, Dana?"

"Sure."

I cleared my throat. "Well, you see...I'm not human."

She gasped. "Really?"

"Yeah. Do you watch the news by any chance?"

Dana nodded.

"Well, do you remember the story about the horse-women of Canterlot?"

Dana nodded again. "Yeah. The blue one looked kinda like you."

"That was me."

Dana gasped. "...oh my God..."

"I sure hope you can keep a secret, Dana." I winked. She winked back and I pulled her in for a nice hug.

8: I'll See You...And Your Mother

It was just another day in class. Miss Smith was lecturing, as usual. Today's lecture was on the topic of the "Big Bang".

"An' you, right where your head is, there was nothing." Miss Smith had her finger pointed to a girl, who sat there, speechless.

Miss Smith turned and pointed to the window. "There was nothing out there, too!" Her finger moved to the floors. "And nothing, nothing under your chairs!"

I glanced at the clock. Thankfully class was almost over, but the clock stopped suddenly.

"Nothing by that tree, either," Miss Smith continued.

I pulled my phone out of my pants pocket and checked the time. Only a minute until class let out. Thank God. I twiddled my thumbs until the bell ring. We all got up to leave for lunch.

"Don't forget that tonight is parent-teacher night," Miss Smith called out into the hallway.

My ears perked up. I spun on my heel and walked right back inside. "I never agreed to this!"

"You sure?" Miss Smith turned on her computer and pulled down the projection screen. "Take a seat," she told me. I did as I was told.

The picture on the screen was of me, playing with a pencil in the middle of class.

Miss Smith's voice was heard on the recording. "Rainbow Dash, are you bringing your parents to the upcoming parent-teacher night?"

"Sure," my voice on tape replied. The video stopped, and Miss Smith retracted the projection screen.

I scoffed. "Why would you tape that?"

"Wow, why are you fighting over this?" a voice asked. I turned around and saw that it was Taylor. "Do you even know what parents are?" she continued, adjusting her high ponytail.

"Well, duh. Who doesn't?"

"Get out of my classroom, both of you," Miss Smith groaned. "And I'll see you and your parents tonight, Rainbow Dash!"

I made my way towards the exit.

"You and your parents!" Taylor mocked. I hadn't noticed that she was walking directly behind me. If I had, I would have delivered a swift kick to her knees.

10: And Then There's Pinkie

After Pinkie drove us to school, we made our way to the cafeteria, where we greeted Miss Smith.

"Rainbow Dash," she began. "And you brought your...parent?"

Pinkie touched a hand to her chest. "I'm widowed."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Miss Smith said sincerely. I scampered away, trying to avoid an awkward moment.

I stood by the punch table, getting snacks and drinks for me and Pinkie.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash."

"Taylor." By now, I didn't even have to see her face to know it was her. I turned around anyway. Taylor stood near a shorter girl with dark hair that covered her face. The shorter girl held a laptop with a webcam of a woman in a white lab coat.

"There's somebody I want you to meet," Taylor said to her mother.

"And this is the horse-woman from the news that you've been going on and on about? What country is she from?"

"Prob'ly Canada," the shorter girl mumbled. "Weirdos."

I excused myself and walked away. I saw Pinkie speaking with another mom. "What's goin' on?" I asked.

"My mom won't shut up about me," a boy pouted. "It's really embarrassing."

"At least she's not showing the pictures," his older sister replied.

"And you've just gotta see these pictures!" their mom exclaimed. She pulled out her phone and flipped through the pictures. Pinkie just stared, a blank, cloudy look in her eyes. The first picture was of the boy playing soccer.

"Sports aren't everything. A growing child needs more than just competition," Pinkie recited. I nodded.

"That's true," the mother replied. She pulled out a tray. "Would you like some chocolate chip cookies? Freshly baked just for the occasion!"

"Thank you!" Pinkie said, reaching for one. "You know, sugar tends to make children hyper and can lead to obesity."

The mother nodded, almost looking terrified. "Well, yeah..."

Pinkie took a bite out of one of the cookies, then spit it out in disgust.

The boy's mother scoffed. "How dare you spit out my cookies!"

"You don't use enough baking soda," Pinkie said. She immediately became distracted and grabbed the woman's hair. "Who's your stylist?"

I gasped. What exactly was in that video I showed Pinkie?

A crowd began to form around Pinkie and the boy's mom. I weaseled my way through and tapped Pinkie's shoulder. "Mom, we should really go home right now!"

Pinkie turned around, a dark look in her eyes. "Don't tell me what to do! Go to your room!" Suddenly, Pinkie picked me up and dunked me into the punch bowl. She walked away, ready to speak to the boy's mom again.

I pulled myself out of the punch bowl and a teacher came up to me. "Is your mom alright?"

"Uh, just dandy," I replied. I giggled nervously and walked away, back to the place where Pinkie was furiously demanding to follow the boy's mother on Pinterest.

"I signed in with Facebook!" Pinkie continued to repeat. "Do you have a Facebook account?"

I made it through the crowd again and began yanking Pinkie's arm. "We really have to go! Right now! Please!"

Pinkie turned around, looking cheerful yet disturbing. "You're upset!"

I nodded. "Yeah! Take me home!"

"Oh, I know what will cheer you up!" Pinkie pulled out a Beats pill speaker from nowhere. She activated it with her phone and began to play music loudly. "Everybody, do the Harlem Shake!" she shouted.

I suddenly fell to the ground, screaming and spazzing loudly. "Ow! My limbs! Help!"

Pinkie turned off the speaker and phone. "I think it's time we took you home," she said. Pinkie picked me up in a cradle position and walked me out to the car. The position was really babyish, but after the crazy night I had, it helped me sleep really soundly. And I slept all the way home.

9: How Parents Should Act

I sat at the desk in my room, doing my homework. There was a knock at the door. I walked out of my room and answered the door. "Yes?"

A tall woman stood at the door. She wore a modest blazer and skirt along with high heels. Her hair was up in a bun. She hold a bag of makeup. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is the lady of the household in?"

"That's me!" Pinkie suddenly exclaimed. As usual, she was hanging around on the ceiling...literally. "I'm her mom!" Pinkie wrapped her arms around me.

"Well, I'm selling makeup and I just know you'll love our new formula." The saleslady held out the bag. "Samples?"

"Ooh, makeup!" Pinkie fell from the ceiling but somehow landed on her feet. She began shuffling around in the bag, then suddenly stopped. "Can I just...take the whole thing?" Without getting a response, Pinkie took the bag from the woman's hands and skipped off into the bathroom to beautify herself.

I shrugged and closed the door. "Well, that's that."

I sat down on the couch. "What am I going to do? I only have a few hours. Sure hope it's not sabotaged."

I heard Pinkie humming from inside of the bathroom, probably making a mess of her sample eyeliner.

"Pinkie's not ready for that kind of responsibility. She's older, but is she...motherly enough?"

The bathroom door creaked open. Pinkie stepped out, her face a mess of makeup. "How do I look?'

"You look fine. Listen, there's something that's been bugging me all day..."

Pinkie sat down on the couch next to me. "What is it?"

"Parent-teacher night. I don't think you're ready?"

Pinkie scoffed. "Not ready? What's that supposed to mean?" Her lip quivered, like she was about to cry.

"Calm down. You're just not...mature enough. But I can help." I stood next to the TV and pulled out a DVD. I put it in the DVD player and waited for it to load. This was an instructional DVD I had bought about proper parenting, thinking that it may come in handy for Pinkie.

"Proper parenting begins with a thought. Do you want to be a good parent?" the TV boomed.

Pinkie shrugged. "Well, duh!"

"Thankfully, this is the DVD for you. Stay tuned to learn...How Parents Should Act!"

I stood up and walked into my room. "I'll leave you to it! Remember, parent-teacher night is in a few hours!"

After I got dressed in a slightly nicer outfit, brushed my hair, and updated my online status about twenty times, I was ready to go.

"Are you ready?" Pinkie asked, sounding surprisingly motherly.

I nodded and headed towards her.

"Let's go, then. I'll drive," she told me. "After you," she said courteously, holding the door open for me.

I stepped through. "Thank you very much!"

"You are welcome very much!" Pinkie replied, closing the door behind her.