Not The Camping Trip I Was Hoping For

by vincent5000x

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1780

All I wanted to do was go on a small camping trip with my uncle. Now I'm in Equestria, separated and lost in the Everfree Forest. What else could go wrong?

I was supposed to be on a camping trip with my uncle, yet I'm not. I'm lost in the middle of the Everfree Forest! Now, I have to find my uncle, get help and get us home. But obviously, life is cruel and it's not going to be that easy. I still have to survive the forest, figure out why I'm in equestria and not lose my sanity along the way.

(My first and probably only HiE story I will do. Its more of a side project, so don't expect much)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-30 00:08:42 UTC

Chapter 1

“This is going to be awesome,” I yelled at my uncle. He merely chuckled in response, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Not when you start to stink to high heaven because you didn’t bring enough clothing, Chris,” he commented as he turned down a nearby dirt path.  I decided not to respond to that as I watched the approaching tree line. So I had only brought one other set of clothing. At least I had left all my pony stuff back at my place.

“So where is this damn camping spot anyways, Kurt?” I asked as we drove further and further into the woods. I couldn’t help but wonder how the Dodge dart was faring in the bumpy terrain.

“The guy I talked to said it was a few miles in,” Kurt replied. I merely shook my head, warning him to drive carefully. I couldn’t help but fear the ground collapsing and sending the car into a ditch or something.

*       *         *

            “Another dream about ponies,” I sighed as I watched the strange images flash and jump in front of me. I was ok with having them every now and then. I’m a brony, what can I say?

But lately, theses dreams had been getting out of hand.  I had been having them nonstop for the past two weeks. I never remembered what they were about. My mind usually erased whatever dream I had the next morning.

Although, whenever I had theses dreams, morning couldn’t come fast enough. No matter what I tried, these dreams did nothing but cause me nights of un-restful sleep. I was hitting a breaking point and my family knew it.

That’s when my uncle suggested the camping trip. I jumped at the chance to spend a long weekend away from home and work. More of a brother than a uncle, I couldn’t help but imagine the oncoming cause that we would cause to the poor innocent forest.

I couldn't help but remember the old Smokey the bear quote “Only you can prevent wildfires.”

Pushing my plans for mass destruction aside, I watched the images playing through my eyes more closely. They were fragmented and jumpy, obviously due to my mind not having enough information to create the missing segments.

Each of the main 6 stood in front of me. Talking and joking with one another as if I wasn’t even there. All I could do was watch as they continued with their day. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I watched it all occur. It seemed… cute.

“Chris… Chris!” my uncle’s voice began echoing around me. Repeating my name over and over again.

“Guess its time to wake up,” I felt myself say, both in my mind and in real life. Before I could even open my eyes, a blinding pain enveloped my head. “What the fuck!?”

“Good to see your still alive lard ass,” Kurt sarcastically said from next to me. Looking over, I could see twigs in his dark brown hair and a fat lip coupled with a black eye. I would've laughed if my own head didn’t feel like it was about to split open.

“Well, at least you didn’t break your glasses,” he continued, barely moving an inch. He tried to move after that, but it was apparent that he wasn’t up to the task yet.

“And I can still move,” I said with a chuckle, looking around. I had no idea what was going on and the surrounding darkness wasn’t helping. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” my uncle responded, finally finding the ability to move. “One moment we're driving down the dirt path,” he paused for a second to remove his seatbelt. “The next, I’m waking up in complete darkness with you passed out next to me.”

“You better not have tried anything! I’m saving myself for marriage,”” I joked. I didn’t mean to, but whenever I get nervous or afraid, I would joke around too much. It was a bad problem I had.

“Just get out of the fucking car,” my uncle nearly yelled as he forced his door open. It was obvious by the force he used, that it wasn’t doing so good.

Getting out of the car, all I could do was stare into the darkness. I could hear my uncle on the other side of the car cursing the world for the damage done to his car. Even in the darkness, I could see the entire front end nearly crushed as it was pressed against what I could only guess was a tree. The windshield was shattered and I couldn't help but think that my seatbelt saved my life.

“Dude, I think you hit a tree,” I said as I felt my way to the back of the car..

“No shit!” he responded from behind the car. “Now get the fuck back here!”

“Hold on a sec,” I said as I felt for the trunk release button. Finding it, I opened the trunk and cursed god when the light didn't come on.Feeling around for my pack, it was easy to find because of how it was the smallest thing in the trunk. As I opened it, I could hear my uncle move up next to me.

“Got any medical supplies in that thing?” he asked.

“Yep,” I replied as I flashed him with a flashlight.

“What the fuck!” Kurt yelled as he covered his eyes. But I stood motionless as I stared at everything behind him..

“I think I’m seeing shit,” I muttered. Everything that was being illuminated by the light looked far different than what it should. To put it simple, everything looked like it had been taken out of a cartoon.

“What the fuck did you give me!?” my uncle began to respond, his eyes adjusting to the light. The look on his face told me exactly what I feared. Everything looked like a cartoon to him to.

“I didn't give you shit! You were the one driving!” I yelled as he looked around. We continued to yell back and forth for almost an hour, trying to blame the other for the fucked up position we were in.

“We probably have concussions and are seeing things because of it,” I finished, trying my best to make sense of what I saw.

“And we just happen to be seeing the exact same shit?” my uncle responded, flailing his arms into the air. “You know what I think, I think we’re both in comas and imagining all this. Hell, we might already be dead!”

“Well since you’re here, this must be hell,” I joked as I pulled out my phone. It wasn't until I unlocked the phone that I noticed the ‘no service’ words above the time. Even the time showed nothing but zeros.

“Either its midnight or my phone is broken,” I grumbled, looking at my watch. My uncle began to pull his phone out as I stared at the flashing zeros.

“Mine wont even turn on,” he grumbled as he threw his phone into the trunk. I merely put mine back in my pocket as I turned toward the trunk. Without looking, I grabbed my pack.

“Only one other thing to do I guess,” I said as I reached into my pack and pulled out a small first aid kit.

“Survey our surroundings,” my uncle responded as he took both the first aid kit and my flashlight. I agreed as I pulled another flashlight from my pack. It was a small hand reachable one. Turning it on and slinging my pack over my shoulder, I walked one way while my uncle walked the other.

“You find anything,” my uncle called after a few minutes.

“Yeah, I found that tree you were looking for,” I yelled back. “Did you know it was attending a family reunion?”

“I’m being serious you ass,” my uncle yelled back as I felt a pinecone hit my head. I apologized and continued moving forward. To be honest, all I saw was more and more tree’s. Most had hanging leaves and looked like weeping willows. Yes there were bushes and flowers, but they looked so weird that I kept my distance.

“You find anything,” I yelled back to my uncle. When he didn’t answer I turned to see what was wrong. I felt my heart sink when I didn’t see the light from his flashlight. Getting worried, I made my way back towards the car.

After Ten minutes of walking, I became even more worried. I knew that I hadn’t walked that far from the car. I had even walked a completely straight path, never changing my direction once.

“Fuck,” I began yelling, now running in the direction that should have been the car. I kept expecting to see it or my uncle, but it never happened.

Suddenly, I realized how stupid I had been. Running in some random direction without thinking ahead.

“If I didn’t know any better,” I mumbled to myself as I looked around. “I’d swear that I’m in the Everfree Forest.”

Pulling my pack back off, I started emptying it, looking for my compass. “Sleeping system, large tarp, canteen, survival knife, map, paper and pen, pocket knife, duct tape, carbon fiber cord, binoculars…” I said as I continued to empty my pack.

“Where the fuck is my compass!” I yelled to no one as I dumped my pack entirely. A bit of relief flooded over me as I saw it land atop my pile of shit.

“Thank fucking god!” I yelled out as I picked it and the map up. Unfolding the map on the ground, I put the compass down and held my flashlight over the map.

“Okay, since we were traveling west down the dirt path,” I began, finding the path on the map. I traced it for a second, happy that it was strait. “So if we veered off somewhere around here, I should just have to travel…”

I looked at the compass, watching as its arrow continuously spun. Picking it up, I leveled it out and tried to move it around. Yet no matter where I pointed it, the arrow continued to spin.

“Thats it,” I sighed, dropping the compass on the ground. “God hates me and left me here to die.”

After several moments of silence, I shoved everything but my flashlight back into the pack and stood up. “Well, better get a move on before the wolves find me.”

Standing In that one spot for several moments, I tried to catch my bearings.

“Fuck it,” I said as I began walking in a random direction. I could already tell that it was going to be a long night.