Ponyville is known for its brutal winters.
Before I moved into the library in the beginning of spring, I was warned about this specific season. Princess Celestia mentioned that a new wardrobe of heavier clothing was in order, and supplied me with such. When the time came, I would be prepared.
Canterlot’s winters weren’t the worst in Equestria-in fact-we were one of the most mild. Reasons always escaped me as to why, but all I knew was that we received some snowfall and one and a half months of cold. The rest of winter felt more like late autumn.
With this in mind, I had everything within reach when winter rolled around. Snow shovels, snow boots, parkas, even extra food and water supplies just in case.
The weeks before hinted at a rather large weather system, as the skies were unusually calm, and not a drop of precipitation could be found. Most ponies welcomed the fair weather with open hooves, as did I. But in the back of my mind lingered the thought of drought affecting the area, and the ramifications of such.
With this in mind, I made a scientific trip to Ponyville’s reservoir.
I had a folder and notebook filled with measurements of daily temperature, precipitation, and humidity levels among other things. All signs pointed to a severe lack of water in the coming future if these conditions were to keep pace.
It didn’t take me long to confirm my hypothesis.
The second the lake came to view, I could see that the water level was much lower than normal. Anypony could see the line on the land where the flora met water, extended by a dark and lifeless mass of soil which led to the water’s edge (or ice, since the middle of it was currently frozen). Normally, that dark soil would always be submerged, give or take a couple of feet. Mild droughts were tolerable and occurred from time to time in most climates, and a good rainstorm could reverse this pattern.
This wasn’t a couple of feet.
Walking up to the very edge, my observations concluded a 20-foot difference between the normal water level and the current one. Not only did this mean Ponyville was experiencing a dry spell, but the town was steadily spiraling into a terrible drought.
It was then I noticed Rainbow Dash off in the distance, her head pointed down towards the reservoir as well. As I strode towards her, I could see the perplexed and worried expression on her face. She continually switched between looking out at the water, and at the exposed soil. A worried Rainbow was something I was never used to seeing.
“Something on your mind?”
She looked up, startled at my sudden appearance. She tried to brush it off like it was nothing, but I knew by her mannerisms this wasn’t the case. Her eyes darted around as if she was being watched, like a pony with a mild case of paranoia. On top of this, her right hoof was tapping incessantly on the ground, producing a small depression in the dry soil.
“Hey Twi. What brings you out here?”
“Funny, I was going to ask you a similar question. I came out here to figure out if the town was going into a drought anytime soon, as I noticed in my notes that this winter has been relatively dry so far. I don’t really need any other evidence than this.” I gestured a hoof to the reservoir, to which Rainbow agreed.
“I’m actually out here for a similar reason.”
I could sense a different level of intensity in her voice than usual. Gone were the customary jokes and teases that I grew used to hearing from her, replaced with a more formal, serious tone. Rainbow wasn’t angry, but whatever she was worried about, it was causing her a great deal of stress. It wasn’t hard to see that she tried to hide it.
“There is going to be a really huge snowstorm tonight,” she stated, pointing up in the sky at the clouds that had just rolled in. “All those clouds look really droopy and dark right? Those are nimbostratus clouds, but you probably already knew that. The last month, my team and I spent forever trying to figure out what caused all the dryness. We searched hundreds of miles for even the smallest amounts of water vapor for making clouds, knowing that a drought would be in our future if we didn’t bring some rain to Ponyville soon.” She shivered a bit at the cold air. “Or snow.”
“Couldn’t you have asked the higher level weather ponies for help?”
Rainbow scoffed in annoyance, not at me directly, but at the mention of her bosses. The last time we had talked about it may have been long ago, but I remembered that she was Captain of Ponyville’s weather patrol. She explained to me that while it was a high level position which demanded focus and attention, there were many more experienced pegasi who watched her every move as if she were under a microscope.
“Trust me, I did. The only thing I was told was that they were certain there was some moisture out there somewhere,” she sneered, imitating one of them from what I could tell. “They wouldn’t get off their lazy flanks to help us out. I swear, if I ever get up to that position I’m actually going to help others, not sit there and do nothing.”
I made a note to myself to give this information to Princess Celestia. She could definitely do something about it if what Rainbow was saying is true.
“At least everything will be sorted out with this storm right?” I tried to put some cheer and hope in my own voice, trying to get Rainbow to worry less about the situation.
“If I calculated everything correctly, it should. I just found out from somepony today that all of those higher up jerks are already on my case about this drought. So, basically this storm determines if I continue with my captain duties… or end up unemployed.”
This surely explained her moodiness. I would have been more than annoyed myself.
“I’m sure everything will be just fine,” I reassured, trying my best to cheer her up.
Rainbow looked at me, the reassurance that I tried to give a lost cause. Her eyes were determined in the forefront, but she was nervous as could be behind them as she stared outward into the water. “I don’t do just fine. This has to be perfect, and I know it will, because perfection is what I do.”
“Don’t think like that!” I barked at her, concern taking over. “What is this pessimism going to do for you?”
She was having none of my worry for her.
“How would you like if the Princess suddenly gave you a test, a test you studied your flank off for. You go into this test knowing everything, and yet you are still worried. And then after the test, she tells you that if you aren’t perfect, well, then say bye bye to being the Princess’s pupil.”
The comparison struck home, and I thought about the prospect of this happening. But of course, Princess Celestia didn’t ask for perfection. All she wanted was my full effort.
“I know she would never do that to me,” I replied, failing to understand the correlation.
“Which is why you can’t understand the situation I’m in!” Rainbow growled, and I could see that she growing restless of the concern I was giving her.
I was trying so hard to not let her frustration get to me, because I knew she was just a flurry of emotions from all the stress she was placed under.
“I want to understand! Rainbow, you have to give me a chance!”
Her hoof grabbed the nearest rock she could find, hurling into the water before her. The rock hit the water with a splash before sinking into the water, causing waves to ripple out in droves, disrupting the once serene and quiet landscape. Rainbow and I stared into the water in silence, watching as our reflections blur beyond recognition.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she turned her head to look at me.
“Twilight, I appreciate the concern. But right now, I don’t need anypony’s pity. I just want to figure this out on my own.”
I only could watch as she flew into the distance, turning into a speck in the sky.
Rainbow Dash is one of the more complex ponies I had ever attempted to understand. On the outside, the mare is just an athletic, brash, and fun individual who doesn’t have much hiding under her exterior. This is what the majority of Ponyville sees.
What we see is somepony who has a sensitive side, but hides it in fear. This fear isn’t an object or something along the lines of a spider. Instead, Rainbow had a fear I know all too well, and she hit a nerve I usually don’t touch when she said it.
Perfection.
There are ponies who deem the term nonsense, stating that to strive for perfection is to strive for the impossible.
Interestingly enough, these are the same ponies who initially thought Ursa Minors were impossible to stop. Well I was able to stop one, so what does this mean? Am I able to go beyond expectations and actually make what is impossible possible? So by the transitive property, I should be able to achieve perfection if I put my mind to it.
But at the same time, I don’t think something like perfection exists, even if there were times I would strive for it.
The storm was rolling in faster now, swaths of gray menacing clouds taking over what once was a crisp blue sky. I could feel the sting of moisture on the surface of my fur, as the air cooled rapidly. I figured it was about the right time to leave, knowing full and well I didn’t want to get caught outside.
Conditions only worsened the closer I got to home. Ponies were out and about here and there, many of them carrying food, candles, and other supplies just in case the weather trapped them inside. In a blizzard it was a very real possibility, so I had already prepared an emergency kit for the occasion.
“Twilight, what are you doing out in this weather!?”
I turned my head to the sound of my name, Fluttershy standing there look of surprise. She cradled a large bag in her right hoof, and from what I could see, the entirety of it was food.
“I’m actually heading home before the storm gets worse,” I replied.
“Make sure you do. I heard this is going to be one of the strongest blizzards the area has received in a long time. I’m just making sure I have extra food just in case.” She gestured towards the bag, which looked about ready to burst. “Stay safe!” With that she was gone in a wisp, mane blowing in the ever increasing breeze.
I could make out tiny snowflakes dive bombing the ground, and in the distance I thought I heard what sounded like thunder.
“Thunder in a blizzard? I’ve never heard of that one.”
A minute later it happened again, only this time it was incredibly loud, the sound waves rocketing across the entire town as the ground shook beneath my hooves.
Normally, weather wasn’t something I considered scary. But factor in thunder and lightning, and the ever real danger of being struck by an entity which measures five times hotter than the sun? This didn’t sit well with me, and now I was almost running towards my library.
While it took a while for the snow to start, it didn’t waste any time picking up steam. Once I could finally make out the outline of the library, the snow was falling in heavy sheets which made audible noise as they smacked hard into the ground. The wind only amplified all of this, turning the sheets of snow into needles in one’s face and fur. I was doing my best to look forward, but it was beginning to become painful to do so.
I finally reached my front door and tried to open it, only to find that it would barely budge an inch. I further realized that the wind was strong enough that the resistance was like trying to move a hundred pound boulder. Eventually I opened it enough to slip inside before the wind slammed it closed behind me, the sound echoing through the library. I was shocked it didn’t break from the sheer impact.
I slid down the back of the door, breathing heavily. Part of me wished Spike was around, but Princess Celestia needed him for some special affair which he wasn’t allowed to tell me about. Celestia noted that it was nothing overly significant, and left it at that, although I still found it strange.
The wind howled as I sat there, similar to how it was always described in horror novels I used to read. I watched snow fly into the windows, turning them opaque color and blocking any vision I had of the outside world.
CRASH
My head snapped right, wondering where in Equestria that noise came from. It sounded like cracking wood more than anything.
Wood?
I could feel my heart sink as panic surfaced in my mind over the state of the library. It had only been less than an hour into the blizzard, and the library was already undergoing damage?
As much as I detested the idea, I had a hunch that the loud noise came from outside. Part of me said stay inside and wait it out, but I had to make sure the damage wasn’t too severe.
It took me a couple of tries to open my door to get back outside. I walked along the perimeter of the house, making an assumption that it would at least make it easier to navigate without looking up into the blinding snow.
As I reached the side of the library, what I saw made me do a double take.
There was a rather large dent in the wood that made up that part of the library, some of it splintered a bit but otherwise in good enough condition to ride out the storm. Rainbow Dash was standing there, her mane in all different directions as she tugged at small sliver of wood which had gotten stuck in her wing from the impact.
I just stood there for a moment, as I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she would be out there in these sorts of conditions.
Rainbow looked over and looked at me standing there with a bewildered expression on my face. “Sorry for the damage Twi. I’ll fix it later on, promise.”
What confused me more was that she was trying to brush off crashing into the side of my house during a life threatening blizzard as nothing. I grabbed her hoof and gestured hastily to my front door, the two of us using each other as leverage so the wind wouldn’t blow us over. Both of us stumbled into the house, the door slamming shut behind us.
“What were you doing out there!?” I was trying to remain level headed, but that was quickly becoming difficult.
“I’ll make it simple,” she began, “I screwed up the calculations for the storm. So I have to go fix it before the storm becomes even stronger.”
You could hear a pin drop as silence filled the room between us.
“Stronger?! You’re telling me that this isn’t the worst of the storm yet?!”
“It wasn’t even supposed to be this strong. Like I said, I messed up the calculations when the weather team and I created this storm. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go weaken it.”
She walked past me like I wasn’t even there, the floor squeaking loudly with the water from the melted snow. I could see small trickles of blood cascade down her side, realizing that it was the same area where she had pulled out the wood outside.
“No, you’re not.”
I grabbed the undamaged wing, causing her to stop in her tracks. She stood still for a moment, before turning back to me with a glare that could pierce hearts. I swore I could hear the faint sound of a low pitched growl escape her lips as she realized I had tugged on her wing.
“You’re hurt Rainbow. There is obviously blood on your wing. How can I let you go back out there like this?” My tone was concerned, something I know she detested. I couldn’t help it however.
“If you were my friend, you would let me go back out there,” she replied as level–headed as she could possibly be. “Not only is this something I have to do, this is something I need to do.”
“So you need to go out and endanger your life? For what? To make a bunch of stupid bosses happy? You don’t need to be one of their puppets Rainbow!” I could only gasp at what left my mouth.
The calmness Rainbow Dash had attempted to keep shattered instantly and she marched right up to me, putting her face nose to nose against mine. I cowered in fear, worried that I went over the line with what I said, but I didn’t see just anger in her eyes. I saw pain, as well I saw sadness and sorrow? Those emotions weren’t what I was expecting.
“I’m going to be nice and ignore that last comment. I’m not sure how well you know me Twilight, but there is no way in that I would ever let somepony control me like that. Over my dead body would that even happen,” she snarled.
“Whether you approve of it or not, and frankly it isn’t much of your business, I am going to go back out there. Creating this storm was my responsibility, and I made a mistake in making it this strong. It is my job to go out and correct the problem before somepony gets seriously hurt out there.”
With that, she began to make her way to the door. Realizing that she wasn’t taking no for an answer, I ran over to the door and blocked it. “You’re going to hurt yourself. I’m not letting you leave the library until the storm passes!”
She stared me down, eyes with as much confusion as my own as I attempted to intimidate her. Rainbow is one of the hardest ponies to refuse, not in the sense of being spoiled in that she gets whatever she wants, but because she can make you submit. The only times when this happens is if you try to get in her way.
Step in the path of a determined Rainbow Dash, and there is a confrontation waiting to explode.
“Twilight… I will give you one more chance. Move out of the way so I can leave, or I’ll move you myself.”
There was no way I was going to budge. If she wanted to get physical, then so be it. But a little bit of roughhousing wouldn’t cause nearly as much harm as a life endangering blizzard would.
“I can’t let you do that.”
Rainbow closed her eyes before looking at me, a fire behind them as she stared me down. Although I was going to hold my ground, I couldn’t help but be frightened by tricks she might pull.
“Like I said before, you don’t understand the situation enough to convince me to stay put. This is much more than just my job Twilight.” She paused for a moment, her breath visible as I realized how cold it was inside. “There could be ponies endangered because of me, because of my own mistakes. For my own sake, and theirs, I have to try to correct the problem. It’s the least I can do. Besides, perfection’s my thing, remember?”
I looked at her sympathetically. “Nopony is asking for perfection.”
She didn’t answer, staring at the ground hesitantly as the wind continued to roar, nearly drowning out our conversation.
“I am.”
Before I could make a move, she rocketed under my legs, breaking through the wooden door with a resounding crack. The door splintered apart into several pieces, most of these blown with the wind to parts unknown, and I could barely make out a blurry cyan dot that disappeared into the menacing gray sky.
“Rainbow!!”
There was nothing I could do. The only access to the skies I had was my hot air balloon, and I’m not insane enough to even attempt that. Panic set in as I realized my only option was to wait and hope she would be all right.
I held my sanity for the time being by searching around the library for some spare wood of some kind to patch the massive hole in the door. It caused the wind to stream in like a miniature tornado, swirling inside the living room and kitchen, bringing snow with it which coated the doorway. I found some extra planks down in the basement and carried them up. Luckily there were some nails and a hammer along with them, and I thanked Celestia for my luck.
Once I patched up the door and cleaned up the snow which had melted into a watery mess, my thoughts centered on where Rainbow might be. It had only been a few minutes, but they felt more like hours.
The sound of broken glass and cracking wood filled my ears, followed by an ear-splitting scream answered my question. My heart and my mind stopped in pure fear as I traced the sound to my bedroom deck.
What followed was silence.
It was a painful silence unlike anything I ever experienced. The powerful storms disappeared from my ears as I waited for a voice. I expected to hear Rainbow call out to me, to give me some indication that she was hurt, but alright. I waited for something to give me reassurance that everything would be okay.
That never came.
My mind remembered a single sentence I had said to her during the conversation we had at the reservoir not too long ago.
Everything will be just fine.
I sprinted up to my bedroom as fast as my legs could take me. Within moments I stood in front of my bedroom door, fear overtaking me as I reached unsteadily to open it.
What if she… was dead?
I swallowed hard at the very thought, and wasn’t sure if I could even handle myself if this was the case. But in the back of my mind, the optimism in me said otherwise. Rainbow Dash would put up a fight before her demise, and that there was no way she would perish in a mere crash. If there was anything she was a pro at, it was getting up, dusting herself off, and trying again.
…Right?
Slowly I opened the door. A blanket of shattered glass greeted me, littering the floor and my bed. My curtains blew around as if they were possessed, the bitterly cold wind stinging my eyes, causing me to tear up. Tip-toeing around the glass shards, I tried to keep my balance as I looked over what was left of the porch outside my bedroom window.
Half of the porch was destroyed, ripped apart by the impact of whatever had hit it. Climbing down the side of the tree gently, which was easier said than done, I could make out a rainbow mane hidden in the debris, partially stained red in what I imagined what blood.
“Oh Celestia…”
As I drew nearer, Rainbow Dash groaned, the larger splinters of wood moving above her as she attempted to free herself. With every movement she made, I could hear her hissing in agony at the pain she felt. The sight was becoming too much for me, and I could feel my eyes start to water.
“Rainbow please… stop! You’re hurt!”
She paid no attention, her expression still retaining her dignity and perseverance as she used her hooves to drag her body out from underneath a large section of once used to be a deck. I came over to help lift it off her, and was stunned by what I saw beneath.
There was a terrifying amount of blood surrounding where she was, some of it having a deep crimson hue which only spelled trouble. Despite the wind, the scent was unavoidable, my mind nearly going into hysterics as I smelt it.
The flow had made its way a couple of feet away from her, so I tried to trace it to the injury. I crouched over her to find the source and did so where her right wing attached to her body.
A large incision had been made which stretched down at least a foot or so. I shivered, not due to the cold, but over just how badly wounded Rainbow really was. The incision was leaking a tremendous amount of blood, and I considered it a miracle in itself that she was still conscious.
Panic set in as I my brain scrambled for something I could do to help her. I did know one spell, but it was still a work in progress. Making a mistake could possibly only cause her more pain than she was already in, something I wanted to avoid.
I went for that spell, which was the only healing spell I knew. I cursed myself for not doing it earlier, but I was caught up trying to keep Dash from going back out. My horn glowed with a light violet aura as I casted it, putting as much of my own energy as I could into it.
The result was a glow as bright as I ever had seen from one of my own spells, as her wing was engulfed in that same violet aura. I noticed that thankfully the bleeding had stopped entirely, and the spell had its intended effect. The wound began to heal itself, albeit very slowly.
There was now the pressing matter of getting her to safety, which required moving around the pieces of wood. Thankfully I was able to teleport away most of the surrounding debris, saving Rainbow from being hurt anymore by the wood.
I considered trying to teleport her, but deemed it as being too dangerous. She ended up moving before I got a chance to crouch down and get her up.
“No… I have to…” Rainbow croaked, trying to use my body as well as her surroundings to stand. “I didn’t finish… fixing the storm.”
“Rainbow you did all you could, everypony is going to be fine,” I said, trying to be as reassuring and comforting as I could be. Incredibly, she was able to stand with my help, and I lead her towards the front door, as there was no way we could make it back to the bedroom now.
As we neared the door, I could feel her attempting to resist me and held her a bit tighter.
“Let… Let go.”
Suddenly she broke free of my grasp, and I watched pure horror as she slowly tried to run out into the storm yet again. She unfurled her wings, which scared me half to death as I thought the healing spell would wear off if not given enough time to properly take effect.
“Rainbow Dash, don’t!!”
She leaped into the air, but the lack of energy and the amount of pain she was in resulted in her getting only a few feet off the ground. The wind was so strong that it turned her around instantly so that it flipped her over. I was already running towards her as fast I could given the conditions.
I could only avert my gaze as she landed with a piercing thud onto the snowy ground.
A bloodcurdling scream of pure agony invaded my ears. I felt my spine stiffen as her voice echoed throughout the air, so terrifying that I even felt pain from it. Of all places she could land, she had ended up on her back, wings first. I was praying that the spell had held up, but from what I had heard, that might not be the case.
I tripped on my own hooves running to help her, falling face first into the snow. A searing pain filled my skull as I felt where I had made impact, finding a good sized stone buried beneath the snow.
Dazed, I picked myself up and located Rainbow Dash, although at this point there was multiples of her. The dizziness was causing me to feel nauseous, and I tried to focus my vision to a common point.
Slowly flipping over her body onto her stomach, I breathed a sigh of relief as I inspected the wing I had healed. The spell had proven stronger than expected, and the cut had remained healed despite her attempt to fly.
“I’m sorry…”
Expecting her to be unconscious at this point, I turned in shock to find a pair of cerise eyes looking back, the weak scratchy voice I had heard being hers. Through all of the snow and wind, I could make out the tears that cascaded down her face as she shifted her head into my chest, surprising me even more than she could still move.
Time was reduced to a crawl, and the raging blizzard disappeared from my mind as I held her head in my arms. I could feel the sobs ripple through her as she let the last of her remaining energy drain, finally realizing that there was nothing she could possibly do.
To see Rainbow Dash in this state nearly caused me to cry myself. A close friend who I always admired for her perseverance and loyalty, reduced to a broken mare with shattered determination that I cradled against me.
Right now, she saw herself as a failure.
I saw her as one of the bravest ponies I have ever met.
It was hard to determine just how much pain Rainbow was truly experiencing, as her expressions heeded no clues. I remember reading once that there can be a point where pain reaches such an advanced state that the body becomes used to the feeling, therefore resulting in the user feeling as if nothing ever happened. It sounds like a positive sign at first glance, but it isn’t.
The body uses pain to keep from hurting itself. Without this, Rainbow would assume she was fine, while at the same time she could be furthering her injuries. For now, I had to get her back inside.
She didn’t object as I picked her up bridal style, and trudged back towards the library. Opening the door with my magic, I cursed myself for not doing that earlier.
Given her current state, I figured cleaning her up should be the first option. I hadn’t noticed until now, but she was a mess of dirt, snow, wood, and grass. Along with this were various bruises and cuts, some deeper than others. Leaving her in the mess she was in would only lead to future infections and other possible diseases. If there was one thing that I knew about Rainbow, it was that she loathed staying in one place. Even when confined to a hospital bed, she would try to escape.
To my surprise, Rainbow wasn’t difficult to carry at all, even up my stairs. Pegasi are naturally lighter in weight than earth ponies and unicorns, a result of their natural flying ability. Rainbow Dash looked like a perfect specimen. Her athletic body was lithe and toned, with every single muscle trained to peak condition. I would guess that she has little to no body fat at all.
“Now I know you’re going to object, but I have to give you a bath,” I told her, watching as her eyes shot open.
I blushed at the idea of being in a bathtub with her, and I could clearly see she felt the same. Awkward was a complete understatement of the situation as I used my magic to turn on the faucet, steam coursing into the air as the warm water filled the tub. Once it was around three quarters full I turned it off and walked over, Rainbow still in my arms as I placed her in the tub of water. She flinched the second she made contact, her face contorting into one of pain as her body sunk into the water below. I could only sigh in relief at her recognition of the pain.
Finding a spare loofah and some liquid soap, I began to wash the dirt and grime off her body, paying extra attention to the deeper cuts. Special attention was given to the large gash I had healed, but it required me to lift her wing which I was hesitant to do given the amount of pain she must still be in.
“I’m going to lift your wing okay? Try to ignore it.”
Slowly I moved her wing upward, resulting in a seething groan escaping her lips as I cleaned the wound. She shivered aggressively a few seconds later, her eyes struggling to stay open. It caught me off guard, and I could feel Rainbow’s balance failing her as she tried to stay sitting up.
“Easy… It’s alright, I got you.”
Her body fell into my arms with an unexpected gracefulness. I had no problems catching her, and continued to wash the rest of her using my magic. Her breathing stayed level, meaning that her body went into sleep to combat the pain. I expected Rainbow in this state when I first found her, and considered it a blessing she had stayed awake till now.
A nifty spell helped me dry her in an instant, and I was finally able to start properly bandaging her deeper cuts and wounds. Above all else, her wings received the most injury, and I wondered how I could possibly convince somepony like Rainbow not to fly for at least a week. Cuts and slashes littered her appendages, sections of feathers gone completely as if they were ripped off by force. It would take time for them to all grow back, and until then, her overall aerodynamics might be affected. It was something I kept in the back of my brain to remind her later on.
The blizzard continued to bear down upon us as I brought her back downstairs, placing her limp form on the larger of my two couches. She shivered again as I did this, and I could feel the bitter chill on my own skin. Finding a heavier blanket, I wrapped her up nicely so that she looked similar to a cyan taco. I giggled at the thought.
I built a fire large enough to warm just the two of us, and sat down in the easy chair with a blanket myself. My mind was telling me to pick up a book, any book, and just read to pass the time. Instead, I was content on staying where I was as I watched the flames dance in the fireplace.
With nothing to do, I did the one thing I was avoiding this entire time.
Thinking.
The situation of what had just happened swirled in my head and I came full circle to the matter at hand.
Rainbow Dash almost died.
I saved her life.
The significance dawned on me as I looked over at the figure on the couch. She was fast asleep, her breathing soft and in rhythm as her chest rose and lowered.
As bad as physical injuries were, all of them will heal if with time. I’d say a month or so, and she’ll have little to no evidence of the event on her body.
What worried me most was not only her mental well-being, but my own as well. Some say it’s nearly impossible to correctly judge one’s own mental state given that most of the time, we like to make an assumption that everything is perfectly fine. If all I’ve read has taught me anything, it’s that admitting your faults, admitting that everything isn’t okay, is actually the opposite of what one might expect. It’s okay to do this, and I hope someday in the future I can teach this to her.
The gravity of the situation will do a number on Rainbow, whether or not she chooses to believe it. A near death experience changes ponies, sometimes for the worse, but also sometimes for the better.
I tried to think about what I could say to her, but really, what would I say?
I glance over and see her mouth curled into a grimace, reflectance of her pain which had flared up. Slowly getting off my own seat, I walked over towards her, removing the blanket to again reveal the massive wound. Taking a deep breath, I let the energy course through me before collecting in my horn, a light violet aura surrounding it. Focusing on said wound, I cast another healing spell, bathing the wound as well as our vicinities in said glow.
Rainbow stirred in reaction to the brightness, her eyes opening slightly as I rested. I was able to channel more of my energy into this spell, as the conditions were easier to focus in. However, it drained a considerable amount of my own energy reserves, which was stamina I could build up over time.
By the time I looked back at her, I was greeted with a pair of closed eyelids, and a serene look of contentment on her face. It was the first time in a while she had such an expression.
I could feel my own eyes growing heavy as I worked to reposition her blanket. The time of day was unknown thanks to the darkness from the clouds, but right now I just wanted to sleep.
Right as I finished, a hoof grasped my own, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. I bolted around, face to face with Rainbow Dash, whose eyes looked into mine. Whatever beckoned me to do so I will never know, but I closed the distance between us. Her eyes acted like magnets to my own, trapping me in a gaze I couldn’t escape from.
I couldn’t explain how she had found the energy to suddenly bolt up off the couch, but here she was, sitting straight up as her hoof found my face. With barely enough time to realize, her lips closed onto mine, and I could feel a mixture of emotions flood my core, enveloping me in a barrage of questions.
Rainbow Dash was kissing me?! Wait, why was she doing this? Am I supposed to like this?! Oh dear Celestia I think I do like this…
Her lips danced across mine, and I could feel her body press up against me. It didn’t feel exactly like I pictured a kiss as being, as there was an underlying feeling in her actions. The pleasure was easily evident in the tingle I could feel on her body as I wrapped my hooves around her neck. But at the same instance, my eyes opened and I could see beads of sweat forming on her forehead. It was at that instance I noticed that her eyes were shut tightly, as if to try and block out the pain her body was still racked with.
Begrudgingly, I had to push her away. I must have done so rather expectantly, as she looked emotionally hurt at my sudden response.
“Why did you do that?”
Rainbow looked unsure at how to approach my question. I tried to be as gentle and understanding as I could, knowing that she was in no condition for any added stress. For some reason, I wasn’t even expecting her to answer my question.
To be fair, I was just as confused as she was.
“I… I don’t know.”
I didn’t want to push her, but I felt my own curiosity beginning to come alive. “I mean everything. Why in Equestria did you risk your life like that!?” I could feel myself wanting to cry, but I held my tears back, staying serious for the time being. “Nopony can stop a storm of this magnitude alone, it’s just impossible.”
Her pain increased at the mention of storm, but Rainbow didn’t look like she wanted to ignore the question. “…Because that storm is my responsibility. I am… I was the weather captain in charge for bringing this storm here to help with the drought. It was never supposed to be this strong,” she responded, her voice still weak, although stronger than previously when she was outside.
Well it was an answer, a start I suppose. “Rainbow, you made a mistake, everypony makes them from time to time. I like to pretend that every letter I write, every research project I conduct, all comes out perfect. But that would be a complete lie. I can point you to the incident where I went insane from a tardy letter as a prime example.”
Rainbow merely nodded in agreement.
“Just because you made an error, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world…” I was cut off as a hoof went over my mouth, followed by a cold, icy stare which pierced my heart.
“Maybe it isn’t the end of my world, but it could be for somepony else,” Rainbow’s voice resonated sharply, like the edge of a knife. “Storms like this, they kill ponies Twilight. The last time a storm of this strength hit around here, a family of four lost their lives when their home collapsed on them. After it was all over, they figured out it was due to how powerful the wind was.”
I was intrigued by her story. “How did the storm become that powerful?”
“Exactly the same reason this storm became so powerful. There was a mistake made by one of the lead weather ponies, just like I did. He was fired the day after. Nopony really knows what happened to him. Some said everypony else, even his friends, just banished him… not only from the weather team, but from all the ponies of the town.”
We sat in silence, or the closest one could be given the raging storm that was unleashing itself outside. Rainbow’s head fell back onto the pillow I had given to her on the couch, a small violet colored thing, but it was soft and comfy nevertheless. I could hear her breathing over the viciousness of the wind, only noticing how unsteady it was. There was nothing I could do to help her there, that was merely a sign the body was working hard to repair itself.
I tried to think of how I could beat around the bush, but there really wasn’t any point in doing so anymore.
“I want to ask you something.”
Rainbow moved to sit up again, but I motioned for her to remain where she was.
“Did you ever think that maybe there are ponies who don’t want you to die?” I could feel the dampness under my eyes forming yet again. This time, I let the tears flow freely. “Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, myself… did it ever occur to you that maybe we valued you more than any job you might have? …That even if you never achieved the perfection you were searching for and assumed you needed to reach, we would never think any less of you.”
“I…”
“From the moment you went back into the storm after I found you were injured, I was scared to death. When you left my view, I started to go insane over a single question… what if you didn’t come back?”
There was a small part of me that wanted to slap Rainbow in the face for even thinking risking her life like she did was the right option.
But her face told everything that words couldn’t. Her demeanor changed dramatically from earlier on by the reservoir, the cold determined glare replaced by a disheartened look of remorse, both for me and herself.
“Remember what you said to me earlier?”
She nodded. “I said that you didn’t understand my situation,” The way she twiddled her hooves together already told me what I needed to hear.
“Think about it. You felt obligated to correct the mistake you made, knowing that the storm was reaching levels of intensity where life hung in the balance. How do you think I felt when you flew back into that storm?” I motioned out the window, the winds whipping through a sea of black, one that was lit up by numerous lightning strikes.
Rainbow stayed curled up on the couch, her eyes telling me everything I needed to know, my own doing the same. “I did everything to make you change your mind, to stop you from signing off on your own death warrant.”
“Twilight… don’t. It wasn’t your fault,” Rainbow pleaded, all of the serious undertones of her voice completely gone.
“Even if it wasn’t, I found you in a state of near death! Coupled with the bloodloss, you’re lucky my magic is as powerful as it is. Without it, and you’d be…” I found myself drawing a blank. Before I even knew, the sobs were starting to overcome me as all of the events of the last few hours converged on me at once.
Then the image of her near-comatose state flashed before my eyes.
That was the final straw on the camel’s back.
I couldn’t help myself, and buried my face in my hooves, letting all my emotions drain out like an open faucet. I prided myself on my strength in stressful situations, but never did I think I would face life and death so directly. Rainbow had been through enough in one day, I didn’t need her to see my cry, so I turned away and faced the other end of my couch.
It was all but a few seconds later when I felt the warmth of a blanket on my body, followed by a more than welcomed embrace. A hoof traced a line down my back, stroking in a calm smooth motion as a head found its place on the crook of my head and shoulder, strands of rainbow mane falling onto my chest. Our reflection shone in the window, the light from the fireplace making the figures of the window dance in a rhythmic pattern.
Our eyes met on the glass, a reflection of cerise meeting violet, and I could make out the wetness of my own. I hadn’t realized until now that Rainbow was crying too, but she was doing her best to ignore it, focusing on me instead.
The element of loyalty ran further in Rainbow than anypony knew. I could feel the shivers course through her nerves begin to fade as I traded her body heat, but that didn’t subtract from the fact that she was that cold to begin with. Goosebumps that once lined her fur dissipated.
I was just content to stay in this position forever, thankful that she was safe… that she was alive.
“Twi, I’m sorry for doing all of this to you. I’m sorry for being such a screw up, I’m sorry for acting like I did, I’m sorry letting my stupidity come between what is most important to me. I’m just sorry… for everything.”
The amount of apology I was getting from her was unprecedented. Just from the tone of her voice alone, I could tell that every single word was a hundred percent genuine.
It was a shame I couldn’t accept it.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I was met with a pair of bewildered eyes. Despite this, I continued as calm as I could be. “With the amount of stress that you put upon yourself day after day, it’s a miracle that you’ve remained the same old Rainbow Dash this entire time. You were given such an inconceivable responsibility, and expected to deliver with little to no mistake. It was practically drilled into your brain that everything needed to be done perfectly.”
“Who said that they told me to be perfect?” She looked hurt by the question, and also quite puzzled. She wasn’t attached to my shoulder anymore as we sat face to face on the couch, still wrapped up in the one blanket.
“I never said that it was them who did that. But tell me… who demanded you to be perfect?”
I wasn’t expecting a response to come quickly. Rainbow sat before me in deep thought, before her eyes came to realization.
“I did.”
“Why?”
“…I don’t know.”
Until now, the effects of me hitting that rock headfirst were subdued, as the only thing I was experiencing was a little pain. This was rising rapidly, and the more I ignored it, the louder the banging in my head became. I got up and threw another log onto the fire, trying to distract myself. The flames danced with delight at the presence of another object in which they could attack, almost like a little army of hunters spotting their prey.
I just stared into the fire, watching as fragments of wood were engulfed into the fire, turning a smoldering charcoal color. Smoke funneled its way up the chimney, and I could only wonder what the plume looked like with these winds. For the strangest reason, this helped my headache dissipate again.
It also made me understand some things.
“Be honest with me, where you trying to be perfect because you wanted to be yourself, or was it some other reason you’re not telling me.”
Rainbow sighed, a look of obvious defeat on her face. I could tell that she was going to tell me something else, as the “I don’t know” was merely a façade, one which hid how she really felt.
“Do you ever feel the need to impress ponies, to have them look at you and be in awe at what you do?"
The question was completely frank, and unexpected from Rainbow Dash. It required some thought, as I realized the answer wouldn’t be as cut and dry as I would have liked.
“Well… I can’t say no. Sometimes I end up learning a new spell I like so much, that I want to show it off to you and the other girls. It almost heightens my sense of accomplishment when I see the wonder in your and their eyes. But at the same time, I’m afraid of that same attention. I know I’m considered to be one of the most talented unicorns in the town, but I don’t want to see myself become overly boastful like Trixie was. It’s not who I am, or who I ever want to be.”
“I expected an answer like that from you,” Rainbow said, smiling. “I just wanted to see if you could understand the question the way I was looking at it.”
“With you though, I feel like it’s a similar reasoning…” I added, trailing off as I started to form the words I wanted to say in my head.
“Similar I guess…” Rainbow stopped talking as she figured out I wasn’t done.
“Your reasoning for being who you are stems back to something called pride. You take great pride in everything you do, from flying, to just being a good friend. Sometimes I feel like this immense sense of pride in what you do can overshadow everything else about yourself, even your loyalty in what you might believe is right.”
Rainbow looked like she understood the majority of what I said, but I could sense a shred of doubt in her eyes.
“I’ll make it really simple for you. There are times where you will want to follow your mind, that what you think is the right thing to do is the route you should take. There are times where you should follow your heart, that what you believe is the right path to take.”
Apparently that explanation wasn’t helping her, as she still looked at me quizzically. “So what you’re saying is that I chose the wrong path when I wanted to be perfect?” Rainbow cocked her head to the side, earning a smile from me at how cute she looked.
“Kind of… But now we’re getting off track.” My gaze went back to the window, and I had a sudden idea as my reflection stared back at me, dancing in the flames. “Turn around and look at the window, if you can. If it causes you too much pain, don’t worry about it.”
Rainbow nodded, cautiously shifting herself on the couch, gritting her teeth as she turned her body around. I already expected that even if she was still in a great deal of pain, she would have done it anyway. “Okay, I’m facing the window. Now what?”
“Tell me what you see.”
I watched as her eyes narrowed, focusing on the reflections in the windowpane. As we sat, I noticed that the wind had decreased in strength for the first time since the storm began. “I see you Twi, and me, although the light from the fire is making this difficult.”
“Is that all you see?”
She nodded, hesitantly like she thought she had missed something critical. “Well, what do you see?”
“Hmm… I see myself, but more importantly I see a cyan pegasus. From the looks of it, she’s been through a battle, a battle far tougher than she ever expected. All over her wings and the rest of her body, there are the wounds of battle, some visible, others not seen by the naked eye.” I got up and stood in next to the fire, putting my hoof out so the shadow of it pointed towards Rainbow’s reflection.
“There’s more. I see a pegasus who strives to be number one, who will never be content with anything other than her utmost best. She can be stubborn in admitting defeat in times where the results are not in her favor, even though she gave all the effort anypony could have expected. In the end of the day, she not only cares about her friends, but about everypony she meets.”
“Finally, I see a pegasus who demands perfection for the wrong reasons. She strives for perfection because normalcy isn’t her calling card.”
I looked back a Rainbow for a second, a sudden realization of how much I was saying. There she was, still on the couch, listening more intently than ever. I took a few breaths, the air finally warmed enough that my breath wasn't visible.
“But there is something she needs to know.”
“I, as well as all her friends, never demanded such from her, whether if we did directly or indirectly. So you made a mistake. Everypony makes mistakes, even Princess Celestia. You have nothing you need to prove to us, because at the end of the day, we’ll look at you no differently.”
“To see her go out and hurt herself, doesn’t just harm her. It causes terrible agony for all of us, knowing that our friend is in pain. We plead that she doesn’t do that to herself. There is no reason for it, because she is perfect just the way she is.”
I turned my gaze off of the reflection, and onto her actual face.
“Rainbow Dash, you’re this pegasus, and I love you just the way you are.”
Tears flowed from my eyes yet again, surprising me as I thought I had run out of them by now.
Sure, I was used to tackling all sorts of problems, many of which the majority of ponies wouldn’t dare attempt due to sheer importance.
Saving Ponyville from mythical beasts? Check.
Stopping Nightmare Moon from taking over Equestria? Check.
Healing a broken friend?
I wasn’t sure if I could accomplish something like that. I’ve read my fair share of books on psychology, but none of them can prepare you for dealing with somepony for real. Rainbow Dash might be in need of a specialist on the matter, but for now, I had no way of knowing this.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. To have her inner demons, or anypony’s for that matter, come out to the forefront is not a pretty sight. I could already forecast her terrifying nightmares in the near future, and would have to figure out a way to help her through them, to convince her that everything will be alright.
The kiss suddenly made sense to me now. It was hard to distinguish at the time, but it wasn’t just a romantic gesture. It was a call for help, an act so unexpected that I had no choice but to think something was wrong. She found me to be the one she trusted with such personal issues, and I couldn’t help but be almost honored in a way by this.
I’m still left in the dark on whether or not there is a romantic connection between us. That is a road I’ll leave unlit for now, but will consider revisiting in the future. I guess I would be open to trying such an adventure out. Knowing how both of us are, I know that there would be no hard feelings.
And as we sit here by this crackling fire, my arms wrapped around her injured frame as she lays her head into my chest, I can’t help but get this feeling that this is now things are supposed to be. The journey ahead won’t be easy, and I see it as being a mountain peak we’re climbing up to. There will be times where we’ll fall back down or take a wrong step. It might be her, but I have to remember that my own demons might come to the surface as well.
Of course, those bosses will come knocking on her door, demanding an explanation for the storm. I can still hear the roaring of its power all throughout the library, even though I’ve come to ignoring the most of it. To be fair, if they fire her, I can’t see her caring too much now. That is a trivial problem, and I’m sure that Princess Celestia and I can work this out in the long run. Right now, she was the main focus.
I can already tell that this feeling of wanting to help Rainbow Dash is mutual. She knows she needs help, and probably wants to help herself out of this as bad as I do.
All I know right now is that we’ll be doing this together.
And everything will be just fine.
Author's Note
Apparently this plotline specifically has been done a billion times over. I knew it was done a ton, but I didn't know it was to the extent that I was told. Oh well
Hope you enjoyed this! And cookies for all of the likes and favs!
DJRD
