Chapters "One round? How about it?"
"No thanks."
"Come on, man. Loosen up."
"I'd really rather not."
I checked my watch. 7:52 P.M. We'd been at this for a couple of minutes now. I had to hand it to Trevor, he sure was persistent.
"Okay Andy, here. Look around you, buddy. What do you see?" Oh boy, here we go. Another one of his hammed-up speeches.
Well, it was pretty hard to miss you, Trevor. You're the only person I know who would wear a huge duster like that, and you still refuse to shave that scruffy black beard of yours. Not even for tomorrow. Although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the least bit jealous of it. The best I can grow is a patchy goatee.
Alright, might as well indulge him a bit. "I see the same old run-down bar we've been coming to for years." Yes, The Blue Moon has been somewhat of a hub for me and my friends since the end of college. The walls were cracked and covered in tacky photos, the windows were fogged and stained, and I didn't trust half of the chairs in here not to collapse when I sat on them. The only saving grace this place had was that the drinks were way better than you'd expect.
Trevor circled his hand in a motion that signaled for me to go on. "And?"
"I see.... you guys?" I looked over our table. In addition to Trevor, there was Neil and Brian. The gang was all there, as always.
"Getting closer. What else?"
"I see... uh..." What else was there? I really didn't know. What was he getting at?
"You might as well tell him before he hurts himself, Trevor."
Yeah. Fuck you too, Neil.
"Alright, alright," Trevor interjected. He must've noticed the glare I was giving Neil. "You know what I see, Andy? I see something wonderful and refreshing. Something you'll never be able to have again after tonight. I see freedom. "
Uuugh.
"When you walk out of that wedding tomorrow a married man, you won't have that anymore. You'll be chained and confined to your wife for the rest of your life, only going out for yourself when Janice allows you to. That's why we're here right now."
"We're going to give you your final night of freedom, and we're going to make it an amazing one." Neil stated after a long drink from his mug. "I say after this, we hit a buffet. Or a strip club."
Yeah, I don't need you guys to describe what a bachelor party is, I thought.
"But," Trevor continued. "We can't do that if you won't loosen up. So, let's have a round."
"I don't want to drink right now, man." I tried to convince him.
"Oh, take a drink and quit belly achin' would you." Brian said in his Irish accent. "We haven't left this place yet to start the actual fun because you got a stick up your ass." Beautifully put as always, Brian.
I rolled my eyes. "Look, I didn't ask for a party like this."
"Why don't ya tell us what's wrong then, bud?" Trevor insisted.
"Nothin's wrong, why does something have to be wrong?" was my response.
"Oh, so first he's all moody and now he refuses to tell us why? You sure this is the groom, Trev'? He acts a bit too feminine."
I'm not in the mood to snap at Neil. The idiot would probably just laugh off my anger anyways.
"Shut the fuck up, Neil," a familiar, hardy voice says. Thank you, Brian. He actually listens to you for some reason. Most of the time, at least.
Trevor just ignored both of them. "Is it about tomorrow?" he asked, continuing his line of questioning.
"I..." I don't know what to say to him. I'm no good with trying to describe how I'm feeling. "I guess I'm nervous about tomorrow."
"Why's that?"
Oh boy, how can I phrase this right? "What if I, like, screw up?"
Trevor shook his head slightly. "...I don't know what ya mean, mate."
"Maybe he means he's worried about the reception. Like, he'll somehow be stupid enough to screw up saying 'I do.'" Neil suggested with a shit-eating grin.
"No no, there's a difference between that and screwin' up, Andy," Brian continued the tangent, assuming that what Neil had said was correct. "Like, you know that footage of the Hindenburg blowing up? That's the difference." And then the red-headed madman went right back to his drink. What the hell kind of analogy was that?
"Uh, thanks but that's not what I mean."
Trevor looked somewhat impatient at this point. "Well what do you mean, then? Explain."
I sighed in resignation. To their credit, none of them interrupted me while I tried to think of a way to properly explain how I felt. Not even an insult from Neil. "Janice is amazing. She's probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. But, like, I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing?"
"A bit late to be getting stage fright, Andy." Trevor was giving me a look like he was about to give me a scolding. "You're not getting cold feet, are you?"
"What? No!" Geez, I knew I didn't do a good job explaining myself. "I just... I don't know! I'm so nervous about this I feel like I'm going to explode! Things will never be the same again, and... and..."
"Calm down, Andy." Oh great advice, Brian. Like telling a sick person just to feel better.
"Calm down? I'm completely fine! " I lied at full volume, standing up from my seat. It was probably a good thing the pub was completely empty. Saves everyone from having to deal with the angered giant that was myself. No, only my friends had to deal with me right now. Although none of them seemed worried. For some reason I found that slightly annoying.
"There's no need to be over-dramatic, Barbara." You get one guess as to who said that.
"Neil, I swear to god—!"
"Listen here, Andy," Trevor commanded, interrupting me from saying something I'd probably regret later. "I understand you're under a bit of pressure right now. I understand that you're nervous, but that's all it is. Just last-minute jitters. It's only natural to be feeling a bit intimidated. Because tomorrow, you get to marry the woman of your dreams. Tomorrow is the beginning of your life!"
"More like the end of it." I heard Neil mutter to Brian. I regret to say that an annoying voice in the back of my head didn't disagree with him as I sat back down on my creaky chair.
"But with every beginning, there comes an end." Geez, and Neil was calling me dramatic. "Though you may start your life with Janice, you will lose your freedom. Nights like this will not come so easily for you anymore. That is why we are all here tonight! Tonight, we are going to make your final hours of freedom the best that we can!"
Neil and Brian gave a small cheer to that. I had to admit, he was making me feel better too. He always did know what to say to me.
Without warning, Trevor rose from his seat at our table and swiftly made his way to the bartender. There awaiting him on the bar were four shots on a tray. When he came back to our table, he brought the little glasses of alcohol with him. How he managed to order these drinks without me noticing was beyond me. The sly bastard.
"Now, Andrew. Will you take a shot so we can get this show on the road?" Trevor asked as he handed me my own glass.
I mumbled to myself. "What is it? Irish car bomb?"
"Freedom."
I have heard that word too many times today. "Seriously, what is it?" I retried.
"Christ' sake! Drink it already!" an impatient Brian barked at me.
"Alright! Sheesh, calm your freckles," I forfeited.
Reluctantly, I took the poison from Trevor's hand. In my peripheral vision, I noticed that Brian and Neil both had their glasses as well. In that moment, I can't explain why, but all my worries just melted away. Seeing my best friends all together like this, happy and ready for fun, gave me some sort of joy I couldn't describe. Trevor, Brian, even Neil. We may have our differences, but they've always been there for me. I wouldn't give these guys up for anything.
I looked them over once more before a big, stupid grin spread across my face. They appeared eager for me to say the next words, as if they knew exactly what I was going to say.
"Bottoms up." Here goes the first of many shots.
They all approved, and finished poured their drinks down their throats faster than I could even lift mine off the table. I hesitantly glanced at it for a final split second. What was it? Well, only one way to find out. Besides, Trevor knew what I liked, and If you couldn't trust your best man then who could you trust?
I lifted the glass to my lips and...
And that's about all I remember of that evening. The rest of the night could've been the best of my life, or just another average outing for me and my friends. It doesn't matter right now.
Because my earliest memory after that moment is standing blankly in a snowy desert with a bone-chilling blizzard raging at the moment. Really, that's how it happened. One moment I was sitting with my friends in an old pub, and the next I'm standing in the middle of arctic nowhere. I've never just blanked out like that, what happened?
Whatever transpired, it didn't matter now. I was currently stuck alone in Antarctica. I think. Or Greenland? That place has snow, right? Where else on earth was like this? I really didn't know. I couldn't think straight because It was so freezing. I could be anywhere in the world, and... and...
...
...And my wedding is all the way in California!
Thoughts raced in and out of my head as I begun to panic, mainly going something like "No, no, no! This can't be happening! " Millions of profanities left my mouth, and I collapsed to my knees in the icy powder. One prominent thought stayed in my head as I remained there in the stinging cold.
What the hell was in that drink?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"And the crystal guard is being re-assembled?" Princess Cadence inquired.
Shining Armor looked out the window of the castle's throne room. He could see the snow falling outside of the empire's shield. "Well, they still look pretty shaken up to me. I guess being gone for a thousand years will do that to a pony." Shining armor couldn't relate, but he was quite frankly glad for that.
"I don't expect them to be ready for duty immediately," Cadence understood. "We should give them all the time they need to recover."
"I don't know. I'd rather we be prepared for anything." the cautious unicorn advised.
"Sweetheart, Sombra is gone for good. We both saw it happen yesterday. What everypony needs now is some well-deserved rest." Cadence responded, knowing the meaning behind Shining's words.
Shining Armor turned away from the window, examining his wife. "Speak for yourself. You still look like you need your sleep."
The caring alicorn blushed at his remark. "I look terrible, don't I?"
Shining knew he shouldn't agree with that. "Wha— No! You... you look great!"
She didn't. Her mane was frazzled, her bloodshot eyes still had bags under them, and he even noticed her magic was still barely strong enough to levitate a cup of tea. She simply looked drained.
Cadence rolled her eyes. Shining armor was a terrible liar. "In that case, I will be returning my room." She actually looked extremely relieved to say that. "Think you can handle things without me, today?"
"Yes. I've got everything under control." Shining saluted, more out of habit as a guard.
She was halfway out of the empty throne room when she turned to address him once more. "Unless Sombra himself comes back from the dead, try not to wake me."
Shining Armor chuckled. "Yes, dear."
Seconds later, Shining was all alone. He didn't blame his wife for needing so much rest. Any magic user knew that magic, when used in excess, could quickly drain your energy. Cadence had pushed her magic to the limit and further with the shield yesterday. He was thankful they had the crystal heart now, otherwise the only season for their empire would be winter.
He gazed out the window once again, watching everypony down below on the streets. They were all so cheerful, as if their horrible nightmare had never occurred. Shining Armor knew they were all keeping their troubles inside, but he didn't blame them for it. At least they had purpose to smile once again after so long. Silently, Shining swore that as long as he stood, they would never lose their reason to be happy again.
Things were looking up for the Crystal Empire.
As I'm standing there, shivering and trying to keep as warm as I can with my brown fleece jacket, I realize I'm experiencing an unfamiliar emotion.
I'm scared. I'm genuinely scared.
I don't know where I am or how I got here, I don't know how I'll get back home, hell, I don't even know if I'll make it out of here alive. The only thing that gives me any bit of comfort is the hope that maybe one of my friends will shout back to me as I continuously scream their names over the roaring snowstorm. Ten minutes of nothing responding back to me quickly discouraged me from persisting with that.
I've never been this cold in my life. I swear to god, If I make it out of here, I'm never complaining about the warm weather ever again.
For a brief moment, my mind is filled with glee as I remember the contents of my pockets. Car keys, pocket change, swiss army knife, wallet...
"Cell phone!" I randomly blurt out with a smile as I pull it out of my pocket. My confidence fades as my phone tells me I currently have no service. I go into my contacts anyways. I had to at least try, and try I did. I must have called every contact I scrolled over, and even though I knew none of the calls would go through, It still crushed me every time an attempted call failed.
And then I scrolled over her name. Janice. The woman I was supposed to marry. Does she know I'm gone? How is she dealing with this right now? Intentionally or not, I've essentially left her at the altar in front of her friends and family on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life. Oh god, she must be devastated.
Not only her, but my family as well. What could they be thinking of me? They must be so disappointed. Mom, Dad, all of my relatives...
Why did this have to happen? How did it happen?
Right then and there, I promised that whoever did this to me would pay. I would destroy them, make their life a living hell, make him or her regret ever messing with me on this special day. Our special day.
If I survive this ordeal, that is.
With nothing else I could do, I walked on into the blizzard. Ice began to form on my hair, and my fingers were so cold I could hardly feel them anymore. Putting my hood on protected my ears from the sharp winds, but crossing my arms tucking my hands under my armpits was the only thing I could do for my poor digits. I couldn't see far ahead of me, mostly due to the snow blowing into my eyes anytime I looked up. All I knew for certain was that the surrounding area was almost completely flat, and there were no trees in sight.
I had nothing but the howling wind and my thoughts to listen to while I trudged on in the ankle deep snow. Is this storm getting worse? I think so.
It was so cold. Had I already said that? Because it was. I was trying to move faster, but my body felt like it was working against me. I felt almost frozen in place.
Heh. If any of my friends had heard those last few words, they'd laugh like idiots.
"G-gotta keep m-moving," I tried to tell myself in hushed whispers. "Keep moving f-forward."
As I moved forward in the numbing snow, I noticed the the area gradually got less flat and more hill-y. Going downhill was no problem, but trying to move up one of these hills was something else entirely. Trying to scale just one of these tiny hills probably took me a full two minutes.
One of the hills was large enough that if I made it to the top, I think I could scan the area. Maybe see if there was a cave I could hide in, or something. That wasn't completely unlikely, right?
Five of the longest damned minutes of my life later, I was crawling and panting at the top of the hill. I squinted in every direction, looking for a sign of civilization, life, anything. In almost every direction, I could only see the haze of the blizzard. Then I turned to my right.
Is that...? Yes, I think it is! A soft red glow in the distance, it had to be a light!
With newly found strength, I started down the hill as fast as I could towards the source of the light.
And then I tripped. On what? I don't know. All that mattered now was that I was ungracefully tumbling down the hill, and ice-cold snow was finding it's way inside of my clothes. If I wasn't chilled before, I certainly was now. I'll spare you the details of my colorful vocabulary at that moment.
As soon as I stood up and shook myself of the offending white powder, I could already feel the snow inside my shirt start to melt, and I remembered hearing that this wasn't the best situation to be in. Being in the cold weather is one thing, but being wet in the cold weather? My chances of crippling hypothermia just skyrocketed.
Turns out I did learn something from watching Survivorman. Thanks, Les Stroud.
There was no time to waste. I had to make it to the source of that light before I froze to death.
As I got closer to the illuminated haze, I noticed that whatever was glowing was definitely more of a pink tint than it was red. Strange, but if it meant being rescued then I could not give less of a shit! Nearer and nearer, the illumination grew in size and strength. Thank god, I just might make it out of this!
I was getting close to it now, I could feel it. Just one small pile of snow to climb and I could see what the light was.
Finally able to look at what it was, I was not expecting what I saw. A gigantic, pink bubble stretched across the land and rose into the dark clouds above. I don't know what to think of it. What the hell am I looking at?
Wait... There's something inside. I stared at the colored dome longer than I probably should have, trying to pierce the bubble with my vision. Pushing my sight to the limit, I could see what looked like...
"A city?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Shining Armor walked in the crystal castle's hallways with the rejuvenated captain of the crystal guard. His steely coat and gradient mane of green were made even more magnificent to look at under the empire's glittering magic.
"Are you sure that you and your troops are ready, Stone Rend?" Shining asked him. He was surprised that Stone Rend said they were all ready to reassemble the guard. "There's no shame in needing some time. You've all been through a lot."
"Bah!" Stone Rend answered. "You make us all out to be a bunch of fillies. Of course I'm sure. Besides, it's the troops who want to get back in action. They're really itching to start protecting the citizens again, y'know?"
Shining Armor did not appear convinced. "You have nothing to prove, Captain. In fact, Princess Cadence even encourages you all to take your rest."
Stone Rend merely scoffed. "Sorry Shining Armor, sir, our minds are all made up. We want to get back to work as soon as we can. And don't call me captain. That rank belongs to you now."
"You don't seem particularly disappointed with having lost your rank, Stone Rend," Shining expressed with surprise. "Aren't you upset?"
"We've been gone for a thousand years, Shining Armor, sir. Last I remember, we were nearly at war with the Minotaur clans, and this 'Canterlot' place didn't even exist! I have no doubt that many other things in Equestria have changed during that time." Stone Rend explained. "I would rather we were led by somepony who was up-to-speed with basic history. They deserve that much."
"If you're certain." Shining Armor had to appreciate Stone's loyalty to his troops. "It's a commendable thing you're doing, Stone Rend."
"I'm not about to let my pride come before my guard's well-being."
Shining knew nothing he could say would deter the guards from their decision. With a sigh, he gave up. "Well then, I guess we should start getting the crystal guard up to speed today."
"That's what I'm talking about," the shining stallion replied. "I'll go let them know the good news. They'll be excited to report for duty!" he remarked as he began to trot off to the barracks.
"Try not to sound so disappointed!" Shining jokingly shouted after him before he disappeared from sight. Shining Armor knew he'd get along well with the cap— former captain of the guard. Loyal and hardworking, Stone Rend had all the merits of an honorable guard. It was no wonder he used to be the stallion-in-command in his day.
Shining had to wonder how Sombra managed to best the entire crystal guard. Their battle must have been quite a sight to see. Too bad he couldn't ask Stone Rend without re-opening old wounds.
The guards must feel some sort of obligation, Shining thought as he strolled through the beautiful castle. Maybe they want to make up for their defeat. Shining mentally noted that he would need to deal with that tiny issue later. He needed to plan out how he was going to whip them all into shape.
The Crystal Empire's guard would be fit for duty in no time.
No mater how long I stared at the pink bubble, I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. What was it, even? Was it some sort of protective force field? Was it impenetrable? Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me? I hoped not. The settlement inside was my only chance, and I don't know what I would do if it turned out I was just losing my mind.
Where on earth was I? What was happening to this place?
I'd have to save those questions for later, preferably when I wasn't on the verge of getting frostbite.
With renewed haste, I made my way down the hill towards the strange dome. Only when I was not twenty steps away from it could I comprehend just how large this thing really was. The pink bulge scaled higher than I can see, and it appeared large enough to cover thirty football fields or more! I gotta admit, it was intimidating as hell. I guess now I know how my opponent feels whenever I get in a fight. I immediately hated this emotion: feeling inferior to something else.
Not only was it gigantic, but the thing didn't make any sense! The walls of the barrier didn't look thick at all; in fact it seemed as thin as paper. How was it standing up? Doesn't this go against the laws of physics, or whatever? Then again, it obviously wasn't made of glass. Maybe it's some sort of advanced government science experiment to protect cities?
Speaking of, I could still hardly see the one inside. All I knew for sure was that one particularly large building towered high into the sky, but still didn't pierce the dome. Seriously, where is this place?
Agh, again with the distractions! I could deal with it later, I'm positive that I was close to safety now!
I lumbered forward until I was right next to the force-field-looking-thing. Reaching a hand out, a thought in the back of my mind told me to pull away, as this thing could be life threatening to the touch. I shoved that thought away. it was either do this, or go back out there and die of hypothermia.
My hand shivering from icy weather, I reached forward with my fingers until they touched the surface of it. I grit my teeth expecting some sort of electric shock, but it never came. In fact, I didn't feel anything. My hand just passed through as if it wasn't there.
Oh no, it really is just a mirage! I thought in dismay. Regardless, I kept pushing through even with the thought in my head until I was completely on the other side of the bubble. What I saw could only be described as astounding.
Grass. Honest-to-god grass. There wasn't a speck of snow covering the ground in here, or a howling blizzard threatening to freeze my balls into icicles. In fact, the snow that was stuck in the folds of my clothes began to melt. I was so relieved that I began to laugh like an idiot. How this was possible, I didn't care! My nightmare was over, I could see my friends and family again!
And then I looked towards the city.
I hadn't seen anything like it before. Hundreds, maybe thousands of tiny little houses and trees surrounded the one humongous tower in a perfect circle. The humble little houses all appeared to be carved out of some sort of crystal, shades of colors ranging from rose red to turquoise. The same type of crystal was jutting out of the earth everywhere outside of the city as well, although nobody had tried to make a home out of these ones.
But no matter what, my eyes always ended up at the grand centerpiece of it all; the large white castle. The very essence of it commanded attention, it was so huge. Lined with alabaster crystals and artistic designs, the titanic tower ended in a single point at the top.
I knew that earth could be strange sometimes with the places to live, but I've never even heard of something like this! You'd think it would be big news, what with the force field protecting keeping this place warm and habitable in the middle of desert wasteland. Maybe I've stumbled upon a secret? But why would anybody hide that kind of technology?
Just where was I?
Well, surely I'd find out. As soon as I stopped shivering, I'd go try to talk to some of the locals and explain my situation. I might be pretty far out still, but I can just barely make out some of the little blurs walking around on the roads.
I'll get home, Janice. I promise.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
At the center of the empire, Stone Rend faced twenty other stallions lined up in a row. Each of their glittering coats altered to a purple tint by their enchanted steel armor. Any outsider might find standing underneath the castle a bit daunting, but it was an everyday occurrence for the crystal guard.
"Alright, troops!" Stone Rend barked. "As I have already told the other groups, I am not your acting captain anymore."
Their training forced the guards not to make a sound or move an inch, but Stone could see the worry in their eyes.
"Until further notice, your acting captain is now Shining Armor," the intimidating stallion roared at them. "I can tell some of you seem a bit unnerved! Any of you want to tell me why?" He already knew what was on their minds.
Most of the stallions chose to remain silent, too cowed to say anything. Seconds later, one of them in the middle of the row spoke up. "Sir. I would like to ask why Shining Armor has been promoted to Captain of the Crystal Guard, sir." Stone Rend recognized the voice well. Dusty Ore was possibly the most outspoken guard he had met, and that trait had gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion.
"You want to know why?" the former captain parroted. "Well I don't know if any of you have noticed, but we have all been gone for a thousand years. Nopony we knew outside of this city is around anymore, save for the princesses. Cities have been built and dismantled in the time we've been gone! And if you asked me what our current relations were with Griffonia, I couldn't tell you!" Stone Rend lectured them, pacing back and forth along their line. "I think you all get my point. As things are right now, I don't have the knowledge to lead you.
"Unlike me, Shining Armor, who you will all refer to as 'captain' from now on, has been born in the last century! He will be the one to bring the Crystal Guard up-to-date with current events of Equestria." Stone paused to take a look at his troops. Again, their eyes betrayed their stoic looks. "Now, see here. Shining Armor is a great leader. He is strong, stalwart, and fierce. And if you recall, he also helped to defeat Kin—" Stone fumbled with his words, remembering that monster wasn't in power anymore. "Sombra , yesterday. He is just as dedicated to the safety of this city as we are. I trust him, and I ask all of you to as well.
"Now! Anything else on your minds?" They all stood silent. It seemed that Stone Rend's answer had satisfied them all. "Good. For now, you are to resume your daily patrols around the empire, but at exactly 12:00, you are all to report to Captain Shining Armor in the castle courtyard. It is there that he will train you all to be the guard that this era demands of you." Stone Rend took off his helmet. "I know that to some of you it might sound like you're going back to school."
A nervous Stone Rend rubbed the back of his head with a hoof, hesitating to finish his thought. "Well, that's because that's exactly what's happening."
All of their vigorous training. All of their discipline. All of their years of being in the guard. None of it stopped the loud, collective groan that escaped their mouths.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I never thought I'd see the sun again.
I laid on the warm, dry bed of heaven that was the grass. Allowing the green blades to soak up the melted snow which dripped off of my fleece coat. Through the top of the dome, I could see the sun shining through. I had to say, it was a nice alternative to the snowstorm out there.
Well, I figure I've been on the ground for long enough. I thought as I threw off my hood. I didn't want to waste any more time. Looking towards the settlement, I got off my rear and put it in gear. It was time to talk to some of the people down there.
I had quite a ways to go before I reached the edge of the city, so of course my mind began to wander. Almost always landing on the million dollar question 'where the rollerblading Christ am I?' I was absolutely sure it wasn't America. Somewhere in Europe, maybe? I had no idea. I just hoped I wasn't breaking any laws by being inside this force-field town place.
My thoughts stopped as I suddenly felt a pain in my right foot. While I was thinking to myself, I had apparently managed to step on one of those tiny crystals jutting out from the ground. This one might have been really small, but damn was it sharp! I didn't last very long jumping around on one foot, as I fell right back on my ass again. I'm really glad there were no children around, because at that moment I said some profanities that I felt disturbed for even saying.
Taking off my shoe and looking underneath confirmed my thoughts. The tiny rock had poked right through my shoe just to stab me in the foot. Damn it, I had just bought these shoes a month ago. I consider myself extremely lucky that, by some miracle, it didn't draw blood.
I scanned the ground for the stupid little mineral. I certainly didn't want some other unfortunate fool to step on the death trap. My eyes fell upon a jewel as blue as a Hawaiian sea. It looked barely bigger than a large marble, but the edge of it threatened murder. I was able to pull it out of the ground, with a lot of digging and extra effort. The crystal was bigger than I thought at first. Now that it was fully exposed, the thing was about as long as a comb.
I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I slipped the gem in my pocket. Who knew, it might come in handy, someday. Besides, I couldn't very well let anyone else step on it.
A bit of pain still occurred when I stood on my right foot, but I didn't want to stop and rest again. I couldn't wait any longer to get home; I've already been gone long enough as it is.
The edge of town was in sight, and I'm noticing how different it is to see this place up close. Now that I can make out all the details, this city became something out of a fantasy. The crystal houses, the design of the walkways, it was all beautiful, really. It's a shame I was in such a rush. Under better circumstances, I would love to explore this place. I'd have to try and come visit here someday after I got out of here.
Wherever that was.
Well, now I'm officially inside the town. I'm surrounded by these crystal houses, or whatever they are. They've got doors and windows, so I assume they're houses. I mean, the doors look really small, but whatever. I am a pretty big guy after all. Where were all the people? I swear when I walked inside the barrier, I could see people walking around like it was nobody's business. I didn't imagine them! Now I can't find anyone to save my life. Maybe they were all inside?
Looking around, I spotted the nearest crystal building and made my way to it. The house was colored a maroon color, and even had a garden out front by which, one could clearly see by the drops of water on the flower petals, was watered recently.
I hate meeting new people. It's always such an awkward experience for me. But I had to get home somehow, and I didn't know where else to go to in this town. Better get this over with.
I walked up the stairs to the front door, and knocked. I waited for quite a while before I heard a woman spout some unintelligible gibberish on the other side. Oh thank god, somebody does live here! I thought. I could hear her turning the door handle on the other side. The portal opened and...
...out stepped some sort of purple, four-legged animal.
What the actual....
I don't know how long I just stood there on the doorstep, staring at the hoofed, quadrupedal... thing that had opened the door. The creature's violet fur was so vibrant that it was literally shining like an amethyst. In addition to the white hair on top of it's head, it also sported a bushy tail of matching color. And it's eyes . Those gigantic eyes were like nothing I had ever seen before. The violet things were the stuff of poetry, I could stare at them for hours.
All in all, the weird creature appeared to be some kind of miniature, mutated horse.
Taking all of this in proved to be too much for me, as my jaw bobbed up and down trying to form words. The thing in front of me looked to be having the same problem I was, as if it was too scared to do anything. Wait, was this thing intelligent?
Fortunately for me, the animal took the liberty of making the first move whilst I gazed at it in silent shock. Unfortunately for me, it decided to screech at the top of it's lungs and slam the door in my face. I guess it was scared of me. Or maybe it found me really ugly. I don't know.
I was breathing a bit heavily, still reeling from the shock of discovering the house's inhabitant. Never in my wildest childhood animal books had I seen anything like that. Talk about awkward first meetings.
Was that thing intelligent? Like a human? was the first thought to buzz into my head. The pony had seemed to be smart enough to open and close doors, and it had also responded to my knocking. I didn't want to rush to conclusions, but it all seemed to add up to one theory.
Intelligent life did exist.
I backed away slowly from the door. I really didn't know how to react to this new information. Some weird alien species lived in this city? Where were the humans?
Oh, shit! Are there any humans here? The questions just kept piling on, and I wasn't smart enough to answer any of them. God, I hate this!
I'll try another house! Maybe the crystal houses are only populated by the new species as a sort of designation by the humans, or whatever. I rationalized. Yeah, it was a weak theory and I knew it, but I needed something here. I was having one of the worst days of my life.
Traveling through the abnormal suburbia, I spotted the most normal house I could find. Rather than the shimmering crystal walls, this one looked to be completely carved out of dull, gray stone. I mean it may have still been pretty shiny, and It was still kind of built in the 'multiple sides' style the gem houses were sporting. But it had a flat roof, and that was good enough for me.
I swiftly rushed past the multiple gardens and fences, when something caught my peripheral vision. One of those alien pony things had its head poked out the door, staring right at me. As soon as I turned to look at it, the door slammed shut. with an annoyed grunt, I ignored it. "Just keep going, Andrew. It'll be done with soon enough," I quietly hoped.
I didn't slow down as I hurried to the door. The first knock I gave was more or less just me slamming into the wooden entry. Two forceful whacks followed soon after.
I heard a voice from the other side. I couldn't make out what it was saying, but it sounded like a human male. My hopes were cut short as the voice opened the door, and revealed himself to be another one of those alien horses. This one looked bigger and more muscly than the last one and sported a shorter blue hairdo. I guess this one was a dude? Good to know they have genders, I guess.
"No..." I muttered under my breath as I took a step back. Behind him I could see what looked like the interior of a bar? If my experience with The Blue Moon was anything to go off of.
This creature was giving me the same treatment the first one did, what with the silent bug-eyed staring. Only instead of screeching in my face, this one sounded... different.
“Fs… svool?”
...What?
“Blf xzm fmwvIhgzmw nv, irtsg?”
Was... was it talking to me? What language was that?
"You can speak?" I tried to ask it.
"Dszg?”
"Huh?" Yeah, that was definitely not English. Fuck me sideways, I couldn't communicate with it.
The alien continued to speak, but I couldn't make heads or tails out of what it was trying to say. That wasn't Spanish, I knew that much. (Thank you, high school.) It didn't sound like any French or Italian I've ever heard... didn't sound German either, I knew a little bit of that as well.
...Okay, maybe the only German word I know is "scheiße." Shut up.
Let's see... what other languages were there? Was it Arabic, maybe? I've rarely if ever heard any of that language. Japanese? Chinese? Is Norwegian a language? Wait, what did I care? Even if I knew what language it was, It wasn't like I'd be able to speak it anyways!
"Bah!" I finally said out loud. "Screw this! Screw you! I just want to get home!" I turned and stormed away, probably leaving the poor thing in confusion. He probably couldn't understand me either, but I didn't care. I just wanted to find the people behind this.
Someone else had to be here. Someone of my species. Maybe there was somebody out on the street I could talk to and get this whole mess sorted out. I was too afraid to knock on another door, for fear of finding another alien steed.
"I gotta keep calm." I audibly told myself. "Any minute now, I'll run into a scientist gathering data or something out here. Then they'll tell me I stumbled upon a secret experiment and send me back home where nobody will believe me when I tell them about the intelligent ponies. Yeah..." My nervous chuckling would tell anybody that I didn't even believe that at this point.
I had to keep going.
My legs were moving faster. I'm basically running at this point, getting closer and closer to the main street. Little did I know, getting out of the alley and turning the corner would only show me one thing. A colorful plethora of horses, everywhere. Roaming the streets, sitting at tables, talking to each other, doing everything an intelligent species would do. And not a single human in sight.
I didn't want to admit it, I didn't even want to acknowledge it. It was ridiculous and childish to even think of the possibility, but the evidence pointed to the outcome.
Wherever I was, it certainly wasn't earth.
In a lame attempt to cope with my horrible situation, I tried some referential humor to calm myself. "Toby, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
The dog was named Toby, right? You know, from The Wizard of Oz ?
...
God damn it if I get out of here, I'm never going to take a drink again!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"—and so, the Minotaurs were out of options, and were forced to call upon Princess Celestia for her help." Shining Armor droned on in front of the guards.
The castle's training ground, once an area used for honing physical fitness, had been transformed into an giant improptu classroom. On the grass inside the track ring, at least forty stallions and a couple mares all sat in rows of tables, each one free of the armor which sat next to them. At the end of the field the makeshift desks faced, Shining Armor stood on a podium, reciting a millennium of history from textbooks and his own knowledge.
It was safe to say that at least half of the guards were bored out of their minds, but most of them forced themselves to pay attention. Some didn't see the point of it, but Shining Armor was firm about the gravity of this history lesson. He was glad that Stone Rend at least knew the importance of it all.
Shining Armor could tell that the trained enforcers were straining to absorb the information, but he continued on with his lecture. "With the princess' help, Minotaur shaman Brugadd was able to discover a cure for the devastating Horn Plague. It was this event that began to ease relations between the two... uh..." In the middle of his tale, Shining Armor spotted a hoof near the back raised among the crowd. "Uh... yes, mister...?"
"Dusty Ore, Captain," the rust stallion finished for him. "I'm just a bit confused. Back in our time, the king of the bovine would have sooner condemned his people than ask us ponies for help. What happened?"
"Also I kind of have to use the bathroom." Another guard spoke.
Shining Armor choked on his breath upon hearing the minotaurs being so casually referred to as "bovine." Such a remark nowadays would be seen as extremely racist in everypony's eyes. Although, Shining Armor realized that the rest of the guards had no problem with such a slur. They had continued as though he hadn't said anything wrong.
Shining took a deep breath and shut his eyes. They're from another time. Things were different one thousand years ago, he had to remind himself.
"Okay, so..." Shining Armor groaned. "First of all, I would like for you all to refrain from calling them... 'bovine.'" The very word was poisonous for him to say. "And to answer your question, you're right. King Gangor did not ask for Celestia's help. His grandson, Tarbuul did. When Gangor died, the minotaurs grudge against ponies soon followed. It was only until a third of the minotaur population was infected with the fatal disease that King Tarbuul decided to do anything about it. Under Tarbuul's leadership, the minotaurs and ponies were able to— "
"Wait, why shouldn't we call 'em bovine? That's what we've always called 'em." another voice interrupted, followed by faint murmurs of agreement.
Shining Armor fumbled with his words. This was not the direction he was expecting this lesson to take.
Why do I have to be the one to explain this? "Okay, If you'll let me continue my lecture, I can explain to you how relations between minotaurs and ponies furthered into peac—"
"Sir, I really have to use the bathroom," came the voice from earlier.
"Just wait for a little, I need you all to hear this." Shining assured them. Shining was about to continue his spiel when more voices heckled him.
"Hey! Where's my helmet!? Where did you put it!?" one stallion accused.
"I didn't do anything with your helmet!" another defended.
"Oh so it just vanished, did it? You're a liar!"
"I said I didn't do anything with it! Maybe you just misplaced it like the idiot you are!"
Shining decided he had enough of their little spat. "You two! Cut that out! I'm trying to teach a class here!"
The two guards at their table both begrudgingly slouched in their chairs, glaring daggers at each other.
"Sir, can I please go use the restroom?" the stallion retried desperately.
"I kind of have to go now too...." somepony murmured near the front.
"No! No bathroom breaks!" The exasperated captain huffed. "You all said you wanted to get back into it as soon as possible, but as it is right now you all need your knowledge tested! So let me speak and we'll be done!" But his voice seemed to fall upon deaf ears. The quantity of voices only increased, along with his frustration.
"Wait, we're gonna be tested on this?"
"Seriously, where did you put my helmet!?"
"Would you shut up about your stupid helmet!?"
"Aw sweet, a bit!"
"Captain! Bash is clicking his tongue to annoy me!"
"Am not!"
"Why do I have an extra helmet?"
"Oh dear Celestia, my bladder is going to explode!"
Shining Armor's face met the wooden surface of the podium.
Amethyst Glory had to had to hurry. There may not be much time left.
Through the streets of the Empire she searched frantically for a guard, but to no avail. The only sight that met her purple eyes was the population cheerfully going about their lives.
A bunch of fools they were! Didn't they know that a minion of Sombra was on the loose!?
She would try to tell everypony about the danger herself, but she had gained a... reputation in this city. Nopony would listen to her. They'd all believe she was a foal crying wolf.
She shuddered in remembrance of the creature. The thing had waltzed right up to her doorstep and pierced her resolve with it's soul-rending gaze. Not to mention those hideous claws! She just about though it would rip her throat out before she slammed her door and hid inside her house. Amethyst felt lucky to be alive to tell the tale.
"Where is a single guard!? Useless brutes!" she blurted in frustration. She received a few looks from the crystal ponies around her, but most of them rolled their eyes when they discovered who caused the outburst.
She decided the marketplace was a good area to try. There had to be a guard there, making sure nopony was foolish enough to steal from the vendors.
The frantic mare picked up her pace, shaking the long strands of hair out of her eyes. Her mane was an unkempt mess at this point, but it didn't matter right now. There were much more catastrophic problems to worry about.
Her sprinting came to a stop when she spotted it in the corner of her eye. An armor clad, crystal guard walking with a spring in his step towards the castle. Relief washed over her as she called out for the stallion. "Guard! Oh my stars, Guard!"
The stallion in question turned only to give a look of horrifying realization. Amethyst Glory needed to report a 'problem' to the guard. Again. She was well known for constantly harassing the guards for petty problems. There wasn't one guard in their ranks who didn't know who she was, or dreaded having to tend to her next.
"Thank Celestia, I found you! Where are the rest of you, anyways!?" she huffed.
The defender sighed. "Miss Glory. Always a... pleasure to see you. What seems to be the problem this time around?"
"Oh, it's terrible! A horrible creature has invaded our home!"
"You mean like the 'horrible' fox that 'invaded our home' last time?" he scoffed.
"Much worse than that!" she spoke in a shrill voice. "I believe an agent of Sombra himself has wormed it's way here!"
The stallion's surprised gaze lasted about a second before it turned into an annoyed stare. "Miss Glory, I'm really not in the mood for your jokes right now."
"Wha— I am not joking!" Amethyst stomped a hoof. "I'm completely serious!"
"To be quite frank, miss Amethyst, you are serious about all of your reports to the crystal guard. More often than not, they turn out to be rather trivial."
"Trivial!? Why, you big oaf! I'm trying to help save us!"
"Alright, alright, I apologize, miss. I'll hear you out." he conceded.
"Hmph! This is the thanks I get." She took a moment to get her bearings before she told her tale. "Now, I was tending to my chores at my house in the west district, when I hear a knock on my front door. Being the polite mare that I am, I decided not to ignore whoever might have been rudely interrupting my daily routine."
The guard could see where this story was going, and he already didn't believe her.
"To my horror, a tall and menacing monster the likes of which I've never seen before was standing on my doorstep! It stood on two legs, and looked large enough to devour me whole! Just being near that thing gave me a bad vibe!"
The guard stood unfazed. "So then what happened?"
"Why, I locked my door, ran upstairs and hid in my bedroom! When I peeked out my window, I saw it lumbering off somewhere else. When I was sure it had disappeared, I ran faster than I ever have in my life to find you! You simply must do something, the very air around that thing felt wrong!"
He shook his head. "Are you sure you didn't just see a bovine, miss Glory?"
"This thing was unlike any minotaur I've ever seen, if it was one! The legs just weren't right, and it didn't have any horns." The distraught mare took a moment to ponder, trying to remember any other important details of the monster.
"Miss Glory, I'm sure whatever it was you saw, it's actually nothing to worry about." The unimpressed guard derailed her train of thought.
"Nothing to worry about!?"
"I mean no offense when I say this, but it's rare for you to report a problem that is actually.... well... a problem."
"What about that swarm of horrible insects!? If I didn't see them coming from a mile away, they would've destroyed our crops!" she quickly rebutted.
"You mean the swarm of tiny birds? That weren't harmful in any way?" he replied. "What kind of bug would even live in this climate?"
"Oh...right." Amethyst felt sheepish as she remembered the event in it's entirety. "But you must do something about this! I may not always be right about what I see, but I assure you I have only the best of intentions!"
He was about to reply when a new voice cut him off from afar. "Excuse me! Guard!" Amethyst turned to see a gruff, turquoise stallion she didn't recognize trotting up behind her.
The two ponies regarded the stranger for a moment before the guard spoke up. "How can I serve you, mister...?"
"Glass Pond, sir," he nodded in acknowledgement.
The guard's visage brightened upon hearing his name. "Ah yes, mister Pond. How was business at The Thorny Rose last night?"
"Same as every Crystal Fair night. Place was packed full, especially after Sombra's defeat. 'Twas a night to remember," he recalled fondly. "But that's a story for another time."
"Right. What did you need, mister Pond?" the guard inquired.
"Well, I was searching to find one of you when I couldn't help but overhear you two talking about Amethyst's issue."
"You heard all that?" she asked quizzically.
"As a bartender, you develop a good ear. Anyways, I wanted to tell you that I had a similar experience to Amethyst's. A creature I've never seen before is lurking around."
"You saw him too?" Amethyst nearly hollered.
"The thing knocked on my door and stared right at me. And let me tell you, it may have looked similar to one, but this was no Minotaur."
"Ha! What did I say?" Amethyst sneered at the guard.
"But I'm not so sure about the whole "agent of Sombra" thing."
The indignant mare adapted a confused look. "What? Why else would it be here? We're finally rid of Sombra and coincidentally this new creature shows up out of the blue? I don't think so!"
"I don't know what it could be here for, ma'am. All I know is that it didn't seem very friendly when I tried to communicate with it. Just yelled some gibberish at me and stormed off."
"And you're sure about this, mister Pond?" the guard asked.
"Sure as the moon rises at night," he said with confidence. "Besides, I didn't get the best feeling from being around it either. I mean, maybe this thing doesn't have anything to do with Sombra, but I don't think any good can come from having this new creature roaming around the way it is right now."
The guard considered them both for a moment before he gave a resigned sigh. "Well alright, I suppose it never hurts to be too cautious. We'll find this newcomer and assess the situation from there."
Glass Pond smiled. "Thank you, sir."
The guard nodded. "Now, if there's nothing left to say, then I should be on my way. New captain's corralling the guards together, and I don't want to be late for that. Farewell, Mister Pond." He pivoted back towards Amethyst. "And farewell to you too, miss Glory."
And without another word, he trotted off.
"Hey! You best do something about this soon, you hear!?" Amethyst hoped her words reached his ears as he disappeared from sight.
"Y'know," the bartender started. "I think you worry too much sometimes, ma'am."
The confused mare had almost forgotten about the stranger still present. "I'm sorry, have we met before?"
"Yeah, last year you accused me of murder." He stated blankly. "Or should I say one thousand one years ago?"
"I...." A blush quickly found it's way onto her face. "Can you really blame me for that!? I saw you dashing into your house with blood splattered all over you!"
"That was paint."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Damn, I hated snow. The stuff might've been fun for the grade school snow-days, but when your boss is an idiot who doesn't get that it's near impossible to drive in such a frozen-over hell, snow isn't exactly as fun as you remember it to be.
I could hardly see out of my car's windshield as I raced to my job as fast as I could. Though, I actually wasn't going very fast at all. If I dared to go faster than ten miles under the speed limit, the ice under my tires would most likely carry my car into disaster. I guess it's a good thing nobody else was following behind me.
Not eager to be late, I checked my watch. 8:13. Oh wait, 8:14 now. I had sixteen minutes to drive three more miles. Provided nothing went wrong, I could make definitely make it. Which, of course, meant that something would totally go wrong.
I didn't want to be out here right now. I didn't want to be risking my safety for a job I didn't even like that much, but I'd already been late before. If I showed up to work late again, I don't know if I'll be able to keep my job. But I needed to put food on my table, and I was tired of mooching off of my parents.
Why do I bother. Even if I did get fired, I bet I could find a better job anyways, I thought. Deep down, I knew that wasn't true. I'd try my hardest to apply for every job I could, and none of them would call me back because apparently god had it out for me. Hell, I was lucky to get this job at the coffee shop.
Before I knew it, I was reminiscing about my old job at the closed down bar. Being a bouncer at The Bottomless Tankard was probably the best job I've had. I didn't have to do much, just throw out anyone who got too rowdy. And, being the incredible hulk that I was, overpowering people was something that came naturally to me. Those were the days. I'd come in, sit in a nearby corner and chat it up with the bartender all night. Ah, I missed Jim. Funny guy.
In my daze of nostalgia, I did not notice the stop sign which was coming up very fast. Nor did I see the Toyota in front of me which had already come to a full stop.
Panicking, I slammed my foot on the brakes. It may have stopped the wheels from turning, but as predicted, the black ice on the road pushed me onward at higher speeds than I would have liked.
Now I know there was something I was supposed to do in this kind of situation, but instead I just froze up. I didn't swerve out of the way, or do anything. Instead I just kept my foot pressed against the brake pedal as hard as I could and said my prayers.
The good news is that my car did slow down quite a bit. Bad news is that it only came to a full stop when my bumper thudded against the Toyota in front of me. Figures. The one car I see in these deserted streets and I run right into it.
"Oh, shit..." Looked like I was gonna be late. At least I had an excuse this time.
The voice from the other car was, predictably, rather upset. "What the fucking hell! Who's the absolute shithead that ran into me!?"
Ho, boy. I understood he was mad, but I hoped for his sake he wasn't picking for a fist fight. The raging guy who stepped out of the driver's seat looked about as strong as a pile of sticks. To my surprise, he wasn't the only one who was in the car. From the passenger's door, I could see a redheaded guy stepping out as well. He looked a lot stronger (and more neutral) than the other one, but nothing I couldn't handle if he was planning on being this guy's goon.
Well, time to step out and assess the damage, I thought with disdain.
"Hey, jackass! What the hell's your problem, huh!?" the same guy screamed at me. Before I could get out of my car, he was at my window screaming bloody murder. At least now I could get a better look at him. Short, black hair, blue hoodie, and some bony looking fingers to boot.
I was not in the mood for this right now. I had only woken up about an hour ago and I already wanted to go back to sleep. Maybe I could defuse the situation before it got any worse.
I rolled down my window to confront the raving jerk outside, talking with as much care as I could. "Hey, glad to see you're alright." Really, I was. "Look, I'm really sorry about this. I could hardly see out my windshield, and I tried to brake but—"
"But apparently you're a moron who doesn't know how to drive!?" he rudely interrupted. "Christ, how did you even get your drivers license!?" It seemed this guy wanted to test my patience. I guess he couldn't see how big I was from outside?
"Look buddy, there's no reason to be getting mad. It isn't gonna solve anything right now." I rubbed my temples. "Let's just calm down, alright?"
"No reason!? You crashed into my car!" his hollering was attracting a bit of attention from the occasional passerby. "I'd say there's plenty reason to be upset, you idiot!"
Idiot? Oh, he's on the edge of a knife right now. I was beginning to boil with rage like he was. "I'm warning you. Calm down, or this will get ugly." I threatened from my driver's seat. Hopefully he'd have the common sense to back off.
He didn't. "What's the matter, Dumbo? Don't like having your obvious mistakes pointed out to you?"
That's it. You wanna go, motherfucker? Let's go. I hated being called stupid. I knew I wasn't very smart at times, but I despise being labeled one of those stereotypical big oafs. So naturally, I wanted to break this guy's fingers.
My car door forcefully flew open, nearly hitting the douche in the gut. Stepping out of my car, I now stood to my full height looking down on him. The angry stranger only now realized what a mistake he made. The look on his face was priceless. I bet he was wishing he hadn't prodded the bear so much now. Too bad for him.
Before I could knock out all of his teeth with one punch, his buddy from earlier stepped in between us. "Woah, woah wait, stop! I'm sorry about that. You'll have to excuse my friend here, he can be a bit of a handful sometimes," he spoke with a heavy accent. I was pretty sure it was, like, Scottish, or something. "Now why don't we all just take this down a notch, eh? Look." He directed out attention to our cars. More specifically, the point of contact. What I saw was a bit surprising: There wasn't a noticeable dent in either of our automobiles. "Hardly anything to write home about, am I right?"
I had to agree. "Yeah..." I conceded with a sigh.
"Now you," the redhead said to Asshole McDickbag. "need to apologize to him."
Asshole simply decided to scoff at the idea, but a firm glare from his companion quickly adjusted his attitude. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry I blew up at you like that. It's... been a rough morning."
What, did your mom die or something? Although I haven't been the best at dealing with loss in the past, either. "Yeah, I can relate," I grumbled. "So, what do we wanna about this?"
The two strangers took a few steps towards the collision. They were talking to each other just quietly enough that I couldn't make out what they were saying. I simply opted to stand in the snow quietly, even though I was freezing to absolute zero. Turns out a baseball cap and light coat were not enough to keep me warm in this weather.
After a minute or so they turned to face me again, the red headed one with a sly smirk on his face. Asshole didn't share the smile, but he seemed a lot less upset.
"Well it looks like it's your lucky day, buddy," McDickbag told me. "We've decided we shouldn't get our insurance companies involved in this... minor bump."
"That works for me," I quickly said. "Again, I'm really sor—"
"On one condition!" the accent guy stopped me. "Tonight, we all go to the bar on the other side of town, and you buy us a drink." He couldn't contain his grin from stretching ear to ear. No way the lanky jerk came up with that idea himself. He doesn't seem like the type to get along with people easily.
You know, I might've been stretched for cash, but what they were asking wasn't really unreasonable. Besides, I'm sure I'd want a drink too after today. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Asshole again, but his friend seemed fairly nice.
And hell, I was a bit lonely these days. I'd settle for any sort of human contact at this point. "Alright, that's more than reasonable. What time do you want to meet?"
Redhead was beaming at this point. "Nine o'clock. Don't be late."
"And just to make sure you don't skip out..." Asshole swiftly swiped the baseball hat off my head, exposing my brown buzz cut. I let out a cry of protest before he cut in again. "We're just gonna hold on to this until we see each other again."
Asshole finally gave a small sneer of his own, but his friend actually returned it with a glare of his own. Yeah, I felt the same way.
"Look, if you just come to the bar tonight then you'll get this back no problem, right?" Asshole reasoned.
"I wasn't going to skip out," I defended.
"Then you have nothing to worry about."
Ooh, I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face! I liked that hat, too... "Fine. Look, I gotta go."
Redhead nodded. "Very well. We'll see you later, mister...?"
"Andrew," I told them, heading back to my car. "You two?"
"Brian," he answered. Well, I didn't have to rely on calling him Redhead anymore.
"Neil."
...Eh, I was gonna stick with calling him Asshole McDickbag.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I know it may not seem like it, but that was actually a fond memory of mine. My life really turned around after that moment. Before I met Neil and Brian, I was in an antisocial rut. Every day that passed just... did. After I met those two bastards, I had something to look forward to again.
"Brian. Neil." Those words came out as a mere whisper.
I had collapsed against the side of some horse's gem house after wandering around like a brain-dead zombie for a couple of minutes. I didn't know what what to do. Part of me was still thinking this was all a dream and I would wake up any moment now. I had pinched myself several times to the point where I drew blood.
"Please. Wake up," I whimpered.
I feel so hopeless sitting here and remembering what I used to have. I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me and I couldn't get back up. I wanted to go home. To see my friends and family again. But it was all taken away from me. The only things I had left were the clothes on my body.
What could I do? I didn't know. So instead I sat there and wallowed in despair.
A single pair of stallions stood facing each other on the track field, which was now devoid of any tables or podiums. Only the natural grass of the field was there to grace their hooves. Surrounding them were their compatriots, watching with interest as Shining Armor spouted his monologue.
"When I blow the whistle, you will begin," he promptly stated. "Ready..."
The two armored guards took on their battle stances.
"Set..."
Their glares hardened, but like everyone else, they kept silent. In that brief moment, the tension could've been cut with a knife.
Then the whistle sounded, and the two ponies blitzed towards each-other with great force.
Shining Armor had to admit that the ensuing struggle between the two fighters was impressive, but he quickly confirmed that it was just as he had previously hypothesized. They were still trained in the old ways of Equestrian combat. Judging from these two, he could guess that the rest of guard would fight like they would as well.
Shining Armor had some work to do, but that was alright for him. He rather enjoyed this part of the job.
A stallion was thrown to the ground, while the other quickly pushed his advantage and followed up with a painful hold. It didn't take a genius to figure out the forelegs weren't supposed to bend that way. Some of the observing guards had even winced in ghostly pain.
After a bit of listening to the poor stallion's grunts of pain, Shining Armor stepped in. "Alright, that's enough. Dusty, release him." The cheers of the watching stallions died down as Dusty Ore complied. Walking back to join the crowd, the pained stallion rubbed his legs in an attempt to soothe his deescalating pain, and Dusty Ore sported a wide grin as he received praise from all who placed their bets on him.
"Well, wasn't that interesting?" Shining remarked out loud, earning a few murmurs of agreement among the crowd. "I certainly learned a lot from watching you two go at it. You all want to know what I gathered?"
Only eager silence met his ears.
"I learned that you scrubs need some serious work! What I just witnessed was barely passable!" he half-lied at them. Many bewildered looks met Shining's eyes, but he continued. "It seems that even combat techniques have changed in the past thousand years. Don't worry, I don't hold it against any of you. It just means it's time to run a lot more drills!"
Hushed whispers were passed in the sizable crowd. "We can't really be that bad, can we sir?" a curious voice among them demanded.
"There's a multitude of things that you all need improvement on, if that sparring match was anything to go off of. Outdated techniques, missed opportunities for well placed..." his voiced trailed off as an idea popped into his head. "You know what? How about rather than try to explain it, I show you?" He repositioned himself where Dusty Ore once stood in the ring. "Who would like to face off against me?"
Nopony immediately volunteered. It took a few seconds of the guards looking at each other expectantly before one did take up his offer and walked out of the surrounding crowd to face his captain. A few shouts of encouragement from his fellow guards helped to boost his morale.
Shining Armor regarded the tall ruby unicorn for a moment. Shining mentally admitted he was impressed by the size of this guard, but he knew it wouldn't help him in the end. "And your name is?"
"Coral, sir," he replied.
"Well Coral, come at me," Shining told him, getting into a battle stance of his own.
And like the obedient subordinate he was, Coral did just that and charged headfirst.
A confident Shining was ready for him, galloping to meet the unicorn halfway through his charge. Coral did not stop his sprint,as he was intent on delivering a lightning-fast hoof to Shining's face. To the surprise of the spectating guards, Shining ducked under Coral's jab faster than anypony thought was possible, and wrapped his forelegs around the outstretched hoof above him. Utilizing his incredible strength, Shining lifted Coral off of his hooves and threw him across the field.
Coral had been rendered a mess on the ground in less than ten seconds.
"Practice is over, Coral." Shining gleefully mocked with a chuckle. "Why don't you show me you're really made of?"
The stallion lifted himself off the ground, shaking his salmon mane out of his eyes. Looking at his surroundings, he realized that Shining Armor had tossed him right where he was originally standing. The fight may as well have not even started.
As he readied himself to engage his captain again, Coral wondered what he had gotten himself into.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I don't know how long I sat there in the shade between the two buildings, just moping. It couldn't have been very long though, as the shadows had hardly moved since I sat down.
I'm if sure somebody else were here in my situation, they'd be able to find out where they were, or make a plan and follow through. They'd find out what the hell the story is behind this alien city, and find their way home with ease.
I really wish I could be that guy. I wanted to be that guy, but I just wasn't. That guy would be on his feet by now, looking for clues or whatever. That was the kind of guy she deserved. Not the one pathetically whimpering in a dark corner.
Every once in a while, I'd spy one of those shimmering pony things walking by. It only served to remind me of my current situation, and my wallowing would start all over again.
My hand rustled around in my pockets, searching for my cell phone. I figured that now that I'm inside this... weird bubble force field, maybe by some miracle it would grant me service. I had to pull out everything else in my pocket before I could get it out of there, and when I did I was not amused. Still no service.
"Yeah, great. Just fucking great." I ran a hand through my hair, taking a deep breath. I really didn't have a way out of this.
One by one, everything went back into my pockets. Phone, swiss army knife, gem that damn near impaled itself on my foot. I was doing it all subconsciously until I picked up my wallet. Instead of slipping it back in my pants, I opened it up. I needed a bit of relief. I needed to see her face.
I silently mulled over the small picture I pulled out. There was Janice, smiling back at me. Her short brown hair, her flawless skin, and her bright green eyes. The mere sight of her was so comforting to me that it managed to curl my lips as well.
I was pushed back onto my feet as I put the picture away. Maybe I really couldn't get out of here, but I wouldn't let it be said that I didn't try my damned hardest to get home. Because Janice deserved just that.
I couldn't give up. I had a wedding to get to.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Shining Armor stood unscathed, and didn't even break a sweat. Coral was a collapsed wreck on the grass.
"Is this really all you troops have to offer? My little sister could probably fight better than this!" he fibbed as Coral managed to slowly pick himself up. "If this the way you all handle unarmed training, I can't imagine what your skills with weapons are like!" He badgered the guilty audience of guards. They all knew in the back of their minds that they wouldn't have fared much better against Shining than their compatriot.
"You all better brace yourselves, because we're gonna wail on each other! Get in formation!"
At his command, the surrounding crowd quickly transformed from an unorganized clump to five organized rows of ten. Shining gave a subtle smirk upon seeing Coral back on his feet as though he didn't just get the snot beaten out of him. Maybe these guards had more in them than Shining had initially guessed.
"Now, everypony! Starting with you," Shining pointed to the stallion in the front corner. "The guard to your right is now your enemy. Show me what you can do!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I decided to try and keep a low profile, as I was still not sure about these things being completely docile. So I kept to the shadows, wherever I could find them, and moved when hardly anyone was in sight or paying any attention. Where I was going, I had no idea. I just continued on forward in hopes that I would find something of interest.
Great plan, I know.
One thing I hadn't noticed about these aliens before was that every single one of them seems to have a tattoo right on their ass. No tattoo was the same, though. I saw images of gems, pillows, musical notes, elements, animals, and more. Sometimes it was hard to make out what the tattoo was depicting because their skin would shimmer in the sunlight so god-damned much.
What the actual fuck are these things? Why do they all have tattoos?
Boy, I wish those were the only questions on my mind. I could go on forever about this place and how I didn't understand anything about it. Why go through the trouble of living in the arctic if none of you can tolerate the cold temperature? I'd silently inquire. Why not just build your city somewhere else more habitable? Or maybe their entire world covered in snow?
I really needed to stop asking questions. It wasn't getting me anywhere. Speaking of getting anywhere, I didn't know where I currently was. I mean, it was kind of hard to get lost seeing as how there's a gigantic white spire in the center of the city, but everywhere in this city looked the same. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was the area of the city I had entered in.
"Wait..." Up ahead of me behind a couple crystal houses, I could see a large crowd of those pony creatures. What they were all doing over there was beyond me.
Now that I thought about it, most of the areas I had been in had been somewhat sparse in population. Maybe this was where they all went? But why? What was going on over there?
Ignoring the part of my brain telling me I'm not good at being stealthy, I strode up as quietly as I could and hid in between the two houses. What I saw caused my stomach to grumble in desire.
A market, mostly consisting of food.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Everypony was beating the stuffing out of each other, and Shining was loving it.
With every match he passed by, he would call out something they were doing wrong, or give them both advice. He was flattered to see that some of them were even attempting to pull off some of the moves he had performed on Coral. Some were met with success, but most of them were off with their execution, and Shining reprimanded them for it.
He did so adore this part of the job. Training the guards to become better fighters was something he prided himself on.
Just when he was getting caught up in it all, a voice behind him sounded. "Captain."
Shining Armor turned to see a guard half a head shorter than he was, saluting and standing at attention. "Oh, hello. Aren't you supposed to be wailing on somepony else right now?" Shining asked.
"Yes. I called for a brief pause while I talked to you about a problem I encountered before I came to the guard's fitness training."
Shining raised an eyebrow. "A problem? You didn't think to report this earlier?"
"I never got the chance to. Besides, it isn't exactly urgent."
The exasperated captain sighed. "Well, you're here now. What is it?"
"I recently received a couple complaints from some of the locals, telling me about some sort of deformed bovine roaming the streets."
"First of all, minotaur , if you will," Shining clarified. "Second, what's wrong with a visitor to the Empire?"
"The citizens seem to believe that the bovi—" A hard glare from Shining forced the guard to rethink his wording. "Minotaur... will cause some sort of trouble."
Shining contemplate this information. A deformed minotaur? It sounded to him like the citizens were being a bit paranoid. And racist. But he couldn't very well ignore it in case it did turn out to be trouble. "Fine, I will deal with this." He finally said. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. You can return to your fight."
With a final salute, the guard ventured back to his enemy. Shining watched him for a short while before turning to his left, where two familiar guards were already going at it.
"Coral! Dusty! Front and center!" He barked at them.
The two stallions, wrestling each other on the grass, perked up upon hearing their captain call for them. They promptly released one another from their iron grips, and swiftly made their way to their intimidating captain.
"Sir!" they said in unison with a hoof raised to their foreheads.
Shining began his debriefing. "I have a task for you two..."
I gazed wistfully at the stands of fresh produce from my hiding place. The numerous amount of ponies here were all on a mission for one of the many vendors, with bags hanging from their sides and even trading around what I had to guess was currency. I should have been amazed at how these things were able to set up their own economy even, but it's hard to be impressed with anything when your stomach is growling at magnitude eight.
My belly was aching so loudly that a couple of the passing ponies (which, at the risk of being racist, I had taken to calling them,) seemed to look around, trying to find the source of the disturbing noise. That's how loud it was.
All of the best food stands were out of reach, and there was no way I could get to them without being seen. Luckily for me, between a pony selling cabbages and another sporting some carrots, I spotted a stand which was selling what had to be the most appetizing berries I've ever seen directly across the road. Those things looked beautiful, I tell ya. A work of living art! I had to get some. Unfortunately, not only would my presence probably scare everything there, but unless U.S. dollars are universal, I had no way of paying for them.
And if that wasn't trouble enough, the stall of fruits was being supervised by a much larger pony. A gradient of purple hair, turquoise body, and boy did he look pissed off. At least, I think it was a dude. My point is, you'd have to be desperate to try to steal from him. But I was that desperate, and those berries looked so worth it anyways. Besides, I could take him on if it came to blows.
But how would I get some without being seen? I'm not stealthy, and I'm sure to be spotted if I stay here too long.
Sheesh, you'd think I haven't eaten in days with how hungry I am! Actually, given how I had no idea what happened between the events at the bar and coming to in the frozen desert, it was very possible that I hadn't actually eaten in a while.
In a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, I hatched an idea. Me! Hatching an idea that could actually work! Who knew, right?
Wasting no time, I felt around my deep pockets for the stupid crystal I had stepped on earlier. With the blue rock in hand, I watched the passing crowd for my chance, and waited.
And there he was across the street to my far left, walking on by and minding his own business. He looked frail and small, like he'd be knocked out easily by this thing. I felt somewhat bad knowing what I was about to do, but he'd be fine in the end.
Making sure noone was looking in my direction, I gripped the rock in hand and hurled it as hard as could at the back of the small pony's head.
Boom, direct hit. As expected, the blow was enough to take him down. Thank you, high school football.
A bunch of other ponies immediately noticed him collapse, and before I knew it, they all hurried to huddle around him. Even the angry looking one at the berry stand left his post to see what the hubbub was about. Perfect.
With nobody on my right paying attention and everyone else on my left tending to the injured pony, I channeled Sonic the Hedgehog and sprinted across the street behind the berry stall. With great vigor, I reached into one of the baskets around me and grabbed a handful of the incredibly appetizing fruits.
Just to be safe, I looked back towards the distracted crowd. Sheesh, I know it's strange to see somebody randomly fall to the ground, but I didn't hit the guy that hard. I didn't think he'd need a hundred ponies to help him. Strange, really, but what's done is done, and now I had a fistful of food.
Oh my god, I can't believe this worked! I silently celebrated as I lifted the multicolored berries to my mouth. Maybe I don't give myself enough credit. I just may be able to get out of here and... and...
...
I didn't finish the thought as I was currently spitting out the rabbit turds these ponies called food. "What the hell!? These berries taste like shit!" I whispered in disgust. Eating these things was like eating dirt and mosquitoes. Seriously, these were up there on the list of most disgusting foods I have ever eaten. Just past Tofu and right behind McDonalds.
In my attempts to remove the taste from my mouth, I hadn't noticed the tiniest pony ever, standing right next to me and staring at me with blue eyes the size of dinner plates.
Oh shit, how long has she been there!? She wasn't moving or saying anything, so I had a small amount of time to absorb this situation. If I had to guess from her size, she looked like she was only a child. What really confused me was that she didn't have a tattoo on her ass like all the others. So they're definitely not born with it. Was getting a tattoo a coming of age thing for these ponies? Whatever, I had to shoo her off or risk getting caught. I hoped nobody would believe her when she said she found an alien.
"Shoo, shoo!" I tried to tell her, but to no avail. "Go away!" I whispered loudly, batting an arm at her. She backed up a bit, but she didn't seem to get the message still.
Suddenly, the kid looked off into the distance and began to say... something... very loudly in their unintelligible language.. "Nlnnb, nlnnb! Ollp dszg r ulfmw!"
"No, shh! Be quiet!" I pleaded.
She didn't listen. She was too busy screaming for everyone to hear. I had to get her to shut up. In an act of desperation, I tried to shoo her off again. This time more aggressively by gently nudging her away or swinging my arms in the air, gesturing for her to go away. She was still obliviously yelling at the heavens and not paying attention to me.
To my eternal bad luck, one of my wild arm swings went a bit too far, and knocked into the stand I was hiding behind. This caused the box of dogshit-berries sitting precariously on top of the stand's edge to fall over.
Right onto the kid's head.
Well, it got her to shut up, but now I faced a bigger problem. Upon lifting the box off of her, I saw her eyes begin to water, and her lip began to quiver.
I knew what was about to happen. "Oh no. No no no no, please don't—"
Too late. She was crying and screaming at the top of her lungs now. Praying I hadn't hurt the poor kid, I picked her up and held her in a lame and creepy attempt to comfort her and get her to stop crying, but it wasn't working. To be fair, I'd be pretty freaked out too if an alien I've never seen before hoisted me into the air. What was I thinking?
It only took about ten seconds for me to realize that every single pony in the crowd was now gazing slack jawed at me. Holding a crying child next to a ransacked dogshit-berry stand. I can imagine how bad it looked.
I opted to chuckle guiltily and slowly put down the crying child before I addressed the masses. "Uh... hello?"
And I guess that was their cue to release a collective scream and panic. Hollering and running, they all emptied out faster than I thought was humanly— er... horse-ly(?) possible. In less than a minute, they had all run away or hid in their homes. Even the big tough stall guy, the crying kid, and the one I injured with the crystal seemed to have disappeared from sight. I guess I really spooked them.
"Great. Can't wait to see what repercussions this will have, I thought in bitter defeat. Well, might as well take the time to see if I can find something actually edible.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"What are we looking for, again?" Dusty Ore asked repeatedly. He and Coral had donned their spears and enchanted coat color-changing armor, and were both patrolling the streets in search of the 'strange visitor' that had been reported.
"For the last time Dusty, I don't know. The captain just told us to go find what looks like a b— minotaur, and assess whether or not it's a threat," Coral responded, more than a little annoyed at his partner's constant nagging. "If it is, we bring it back with us. If not, then this was an immense waste of time."
Dusty nickered in Coral's direction. "You're not really going to start with that 'bovine and minotaur' manure, are you?"
"Hey, I'm not too fond of our current captain, but he's right about one thing. If we're going to live in this time, we need to start changing the way we do things," Coral stated. "Besides, we don't exactly want to anger a minotaur."
"Like I care." Dusty snickered. "Also, 'not too fond of him?' You're just saying that because he whooped your sorry flank."
"I am not," Coral pouted.
"Except you are. You're mad because he humiliated you in front of us all, and now you're never going to hear the end of it from us," the snarky stallion remarked.
"Shut up."
"The truth hurts, doesn't it? Well, you're gonna have to—"
"No, I mean actually shut up. You hear that?"
Dusty and Coral both paused and stood still, honing in on their sense of hearing. What they heard didn't sound promising.
"Screaming? What's happening over there?"
"Sounds like it's coming from way over there," Coral pointed out before he took off running. "Come on! I bet that's where we'll find our target!"
"Right behind you!" Dusty replied, sprinting after Coral.
Coral feared what he would find. On occasion they would run past a pony currently running away from their destination. The two defenders stopped one mare with a crying filly to ask what was happening, but she was hysterical and raving about some horrid beast that nearly devoured her daughter. Hearing this only quickened their pace.
"Do you still think it's a minotaur?" Dusty called to Coral.
"I don't know what we'll find! All I know is that it's up to no good!"
Dusty thought for a moment. "I can only imagine what foul things the beast is doing right now!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"P-too! What the fuck, does everything here taste terrible!?" I exclaimed as I spit out the chunks of chewed apple. I had been from stall to stall and every food I ate tasted horrible, and each one I threw it away. At this rate, I would have to choose a food and stick with it. Even if it tasted bad, food is food. I couldn't very well die of starvation after coming this far. That would just be pathetic.
Tossing the apple aside, I made my way to the next stall. Along the way, my journey was interrupted when I stepped on something familiar. The blue crystal I lobbed at that pony's head. Upon closer inspection of it, I began to see why such a large crowd had formed around him earlier.
The crystal had a red splotch on it. A single taste of it confirmed my suspicions. That wasn't ketchup.
"Oh..." If I didn't feel bad before, I certainly did now. I must've really hurt the guy. I didn't think he would be that fragile! I didn't even know these things could bleed! I just thought they were purely made of crystals, or whatever!
I wanted to throw the stupid rock away again, but I didn't want to hit anyone else with it. So with much umbrage, the dirtied mineral went back into my pocket.
Deciding now was not the time to mope, I went back to scanning the market. Cabbages, watermelons, carrots, all of which looked deceivingly delicious. Maybe I'd try the watermelon later, but I knew better about the other two.
I was still secretly hoping for a wagon full of cheeseburgers to appear.
My eyes finally fell upon the last abandoned cart in tow. But this one didn't have produce on it, rather it sported what looked like fresh baked pastries. So now I knew these ponies could cook, too. I guess that's good to know. I mean, it would be a lot better to know if they ate steak or bacon, but I doubted it.
Now, I knew fruit and vegetables would taste bad, but I wasn't exactly sure about baked goods. Maybe these would be different. They weren't sparkling like the rest of the foods being sold around here, so that could make a difference. Reluctantly, I stepped up to grab what looked like an ordinary muffin. I slowly lifted it to my lips, expecting it to be laced with poison ivy, or something equally terrible, but nothing bad ever came to taste buds. In fact, it tasted... bland.
"Good enough for me." Before long, I was digging into a box full of the flavorless muffins working them down with the power of fifty Oliver Twists.
I was still halfway through the last one in the box when I heard a shout from behind me. "Szog!"
Turning around with a mouthful of muffin, I spotted the source of the noise. Two brilliantly shiny purple ponies in silver armor, both of which were carrying some sharp looking spears on their backs and looking severely pissed off and baffled at the same time.
...How do they plan on using those spears, exactly? I wondered. It wasn't like they had hands to carry them with. I decided I'd save it for later. Right now, it looked like I was busted.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"What in the name of Celestia is that thing!?" Dusty questioned as the creature turned to face the two armored guards. "It's hideous!" Whatever it was, it was doing quite a number to that pastry cart.
"It's gigantic," Coral spouted. "But that's supposed to be a minotaur? Are those.... clothes?"
The beast swallowed the muffin currently in it's mouth, and began to walk towards them on it's two legs. The two guards realized this and immediately readied their battle stances. Whatever the thing was, it seemed to understand they were being a bit apprehensive, and stopped in it's tracks with it's upper appendages held in the air.
"What's it doing?" Dusty asked.
"I don't know. Let's approach it slowly."
With each wary step they took, the monster didn't move. Coral disliked how the beast did not seem afraid or intimidated by them in the least.
Only when they flanked the creature on both sides did they try to communicate with it. "What manner of creature are you?" Coral asked.
"Dszg?" it said, facing Coral. The language it spoke was like nothing they had ever heard before.
Coral hesitated. "Do you understand us?"
"Uli tlw'h hzpv, hkvzp Vmtorhs!" Whatever it said, it seemed to be getting annoyed.
"That's not Equestrian. What is that?" Dusty asked his partner from afar.
"I have no idea."
The two legged creature gave a sigh. "Ollp, R'n hliib zylfg trermt vevibylwb z hxaiv, yfg..."
The unknown entity continued it's long rant while Coral and Dusty eased up. The two decided to walk closer to each other while the individual spoke in it's strange language.
"...zmw gszg'h nb hglib, zoirtsg?" The bipedal fellow finished, leaving the two guardians puzzled.
"Do you think it's dangerous?" Coral asked Dusty.
"Maybe. It hasn't exactly tried to attack us, yet."
"Well, we know it's intelligent. Has there been any newly discovered species in the last thousand years?"
Dusty rolled his eyes. "Don't ask me. I wasn't paying attention during the captain's lecture."
"Look at it's legs." Coral marveled, poking at the creature with a hoof. "I've never seen anything like— Gah."
"What's wrong?"
Coral brought a hoof to his head. "I don't know, I just suddenly felt... weaker."
Dusty faltered. "Are... are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm good now. Strange, it only happened when I touched him."
"You think he did it on purpose?"
"Not sure, but we can't let him roam around the city as he is right now."
"Right. We should take him to the Captain. He'll know what to do."Dusty paused. "It is a he, right?"
"I assume so."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Oh my god, what the hell are they saying?
Ever since I tried to explain to them my situation, they've just been talking back and forth and prodding me with their nubby little hooves, much to my annoyance.
The two security guards (or whatever they were) didn't seem to be on edge anymore, so that was good I guess. Means this little encounter will probably go smoothly. Although it would be going even better if we spoke the same damn language.
Wait a minute, what's on his head? I hadn't noticed it at first, but one of these ponies had some sort of pointy protrusion sticking out of his forehead. "A horn? Oh, you're kidding me." It was silly to consider, but here I was in the presence of a real live unicorn. "What's next, Sasquatch?"
Then one of the enforcers had moved behind me. What were they doing now?
"Nlev!" he barked at me. No idea what he wanted from me, but it didn't sound polite. The unicorn one in front of me said the same thing, but I still didn't get what they were trying to communicate. I cocked my head at him.
To my displeasure, I felt the one behind me give me a push. Or at least he tried to and I only budged one step. In the process, the guy must've passed some static electricity on to me, because I felt a tiny little shock. Seconds later I saw the armored guard behind me, struggling for breath. I knew I was strong, but man these things were lightweights.
Whatever. Served him right. Don't push, asshole.
Although, I have been feeling pretty good these past few hours. I felt like I could lift a horse right now. And not one of these puny little pony things. I'm talking one of those big-ass shire horses that are about as tall I am.
I silently wondered why I was feeling this way while the unicorn soldier in front of me said some gibberish and went to the aid of the weak one behind me.
I shook my head. What is the deal with these things?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Are you alright, Dusty? Come on, don't collapse on me now." Coral was wary to see his friend out of energy so fast.
"I'm alright, I'm fine."
"Sure you are. You were panting like a wolf in heat just seconds ago." Coral joked.
"No really, I'm fine now." Dusty flexed every muscle in his body to prove it. "You weren't kidding about touching him."
"So he won't cooperate with us, and we can't physically move him without some major effort," Coral stated, looking at the strange being who was currently staring wide eyed at the Crystal Castle. "How are we going to get him back to the Captain?"
Dusty pondered on the topic for a moment. "Can you use your magic to levitate him?"
"That might be pushing my magic the limit, but provided we hurry back, I think I can hold him for that long. Good idea."
Dusty held his head high. "Heh, I try."
Approaching the creature from the front, a pink glow enveloped Coral's horn. The large individual seemed intrigued by this, and bent over to inspect it further. Coral backed off, afraid of the being's touch.
Dusty waited for Coral to lift the thing off the ground so they could get going, but it never happened. "Hey, Coral, quit fooling around. Pick him up already."
"I can't!" Coral said through strain. "My magic doesn't interact with him, it's like there's nothing there!"
"What? Don't tell me this thing is magic resistant, too?"
"No, if it were magic resistant, I would be able to at least touch him with my spells. This is something else entirely." Coral said, deactivating his horn. "Hold on a moment. Let me try something." Closing his eyes, Coral tapped into his magic once again.
"Alright, I'll bite. What, exactly, are you doing?" a confused Dusty requested.
"Shh. I'm concentrating." Coral said, pointing his horn at the very confused looking creature.
"Really, what are you doi—"
"By Celestia's horn!" Coral blurted out in a panic.
"What, what's wrong!?"
"He doesn't have any magical properties! None!"
"What does that mean?"
Coral couldn't believe his colleague's ignorance. "You really don't know?"
"Let's just say I didn't pay attention in school." Dusty said sheepishly.
"You're hopeless."
Dusty nickered. "Spare me your attitude and give me the nutshell version of the lesson."
"Alright, fine. Essentially, everypony has a sort of magic in their being. Unicorns, pegasi, even earth ponies. It allows us to live the way we do, using magic, interacting with the weather and growing crops with ease." Coral hastily told. "In fact, every living thing on Equus has some sort of magic in their being. Gryphons, minotaurs, even plants and animals. Granted, a lot of these beings have very little magical essence to them, but to have none at all? It's an impossibility. Even Sombra himself had magical properties." The mere mention of that name earned an internal shiver from both stallions.
"So, what does this mean for him?" Dusty directed towards the very bored alien.
"I... I don't know. It's impossible to predict what exactly this thing can do." Coral admitted, examining the alien species. "But I think it's connected to the fact that we can't touch him. And who knows? It could be connected to something, or somepony, even worse."
Dusty could guess who Coral was hinting at. "Well we definitely can't let him roam around now, but how are we supposed to get him back to the castle?"
Coral contemplated their predicament. When he set out to deal with this issue, he never expected anything like this. He could stay with the unknown specimen and have Dusty go back to the castle to retrieve the captain, but he wasn't sure he could take it in a fight alone if the situation got out of hand.
"I've got hoofcuffs. Will those work?"
An idea popped into Coral's head. "If I levitate these onto him, maybe I can guide him to the castle by grabbing the hoofcuffs with my magic."
"Sure, might as well try."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I was so close to just walking away at this point. After that unicorn did the weird thing with his horn, I lost interest shortly afterwards. Now they've just been talking to each other again, occasionally looking back at me with expressions I couldn't discern. Did they even need me here, or could I just go?
I'll give them both five more minutes, and then I'm gone. I thought. They can follow if they want, but I'm not just gonna sit here forever when I should be trying to find a way back...
...Are those handcuffs floating towards me?
I am not proud to say that I've had some brushes with the law. Whether they were misunderstandings or extremely minor offenses, all of my encounters with the police have sucked the big one.
Quick note for all of you young rapscallions: If you're gonna hop a fence, be absolutely certain there isn't a police officer directly on the other side of it.
What I'm trying to say here is that I was no stranger to handcuffs, but this situation was certainly a new experience for me. Not only was I being arrested by small, horse-like aliens, but those handcuffs were floating towards me all on their own. There weren't any strings or hands to hold them, only that weird salmon glow around them. Which, coincidentally, was the same color of the unicorn's glowing horn.
Ah, I see now. The unicorn had magic powers. I should be going on and on about how that's impossible, but I had long since stopped being surprised and baffled by such things. My lack of wonder also could have had something to do with the fact that I was being arrested.
I backed away slowly from the ghostly cuffs. I didn't want to go to their jail! For all I knew, I wouldn't be coming back if I went with them. I didn't have the time to go through jail, either! I needed to be finding my way back to earth, and I seriously doubted that sitting in a cell would help me with that.
Plus, judging from how small these ponies are, that wouldn't be a very big cell. That wouldn't do at all, since I'm a big man and I need my space.
So, relying on my instinct, I moved my wrists away from the cuffs which threatened to clamp onto them. But the metal bracelet kept trying for my poor hands. I can't imagine how I looked at that moment.
"Hey, stop! I haven't done anything wrong!" I tried to tell them while dancing my arms around the air. I didn't really expect them to understand. Especially not when they're blabbing at me in their backwards-ass language.
Trying to defuse the situation, I decided to grab the cuffs out of the air. They yielded to my grasp fairly well, thankfully. I half-thought I would have a tug-of-war with the air. As I expected, Unicorn dude began spouting his drivel at me again. My mind told me that I wanted to deck him in his exposed jaw, but my conscience argued that would only make this bad situation even worse.
Instead, I stupidly opt to talk back to him, knowing full well it would have the same effect as trying to crack a boulder using tissue paper. "Dude, I'm not your enemy here! Calm the fuck down!" I retried, advancing on him slightly.
His horn began to glow pink again. Using his weird-ass unicorn powers, the spear on his back gracefully twirled around in the air before pointing it's sharp end at my chest. I took it he felt a bit intimidated by me if he felt he had to use that thing.
"Oh..." I meekly squeaked out. I immediately stopped and held my hands in the air, dropping the cuffs to the ground. My death was only a single thrust away and I knew it.
Being on the verge of injury or death wasn't a new experience for me. I've had my fair share of knives pulled on me, but it never get's any better to deal with. Time seemed to slow to a crawl, and my brain was trying to register a million thoughts at once. Really the only thought I could clearly register was Holy shit, he's gonna kill me.
Pushing all the cluttered thoughts aside, I thought fast. If I could grab the handcuffs out of the air so easily, maybe I can do the same with the spear? I only hoped that I could grab the shaft faster than he could thrust into me.
This was no time for innuendo. Shut the fuck up.
As though fate had given me a break, I successfully managed to swipe the polearm from the unicorn's... floaty grasp thing. The unicorn looked at me in horror upon realizing his weapon was now in my hands. As if he thought I was going to murder him right then and there. I wasn't that type of guy, though, so lucky him.
Seeing as how the tiny spear had no practical use in comparison to a big guy like myself, I decided to get rid of it. (Plus, I had no idea how to use a spear properly.) So I drive it headfirst onto the smooth pavement of the road. The sheer force of the impact caused the spear to splinter like a twig in a wood chipper.
And I wasn't even trying that hard. Strange.
I decided I would process that information later, as the unicorn now looked a lot more intimidated by me. I wanted so hard to teach him a lesson and do to him as I did the spear, but my conscience thankfully got the better of me again. So I took a knee and hunched over to reach eye level with him. As softly as I could, I told him. "Look. I'm sorry, but I don't have time for this. I'm gonna go now. You can follow, but I'm not going with you." I tried using hand gestures to help him understand better what I was saying, but I doubted it worked.
Eager to get out of this situation, I moved to walk away from the guard. Talk about bad first meetings. I really hope these two ponies aren't the vengeful type.
Those two... Two? Wait, where'd the other one go?
Answering my question immediately, I heard the sound of clanking metal around my ankles, and found myself falling back down to the ground. I managed to get a good scrape on my forearm in the process. I looked down at my feet to see that the other pony had managed to sneak up behind me and clamp the handcuffs on my ankles. How he did it without hands, I have no idea.
"What the fuck good is that gonna do you, asshole!?" I screamed at the pony who held a smarmy smile on his face. If he came any closer to me, he wouldn't have had that face anymore.
"That's fucking it! I'm done with this!" I raved at them.
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The beast had been incapacitated by the sly actions of Dusty Ore. The stallion may have been able to stealthily put the hoof cuffs on the creature's lower legs while he wasn't looking, but touching the alien species was literally exhausting. Dusty mentally noted he hadn't been this exhausted since Stone Rend made him do ten laps around the whole Crystal Empire.
"Snap out of it, Coral," he huffed at the Unicorn.
"Right. I'm fine," Coral responded distantly. "Captain's going to have my head for losing that spear."
"Worry about that later. Right now we have to get this thing back to the... to the..." his train of thought derailed entirely upon seeing the unknown specimen angrily pulling at the chains on his legs.
And the links were bending to it's will.
"Quick! Use another pair!" Dusty said, tossing Coral the other set of shackles they had brought with them
Coral caught the cuffs in his magic and flung them towards the beast, but the thing was a split second faster. The hoofcuffs that bound his lower legs snapped in two, and he had uninhibited movement once again. It looked up just in time to witness the second pair flying over to his paws, and swiped them out of the air yet again.
"Oh, for the love of Luna!" Coral exclaimed in annoyance. His irritation was cut short as the enraged alien screamed his language at them both, advancing on them in it's fury.
"It's getting violent! We have no choice but to use force!" Dusty decreed.
"Careful! Don't get too close!" Coral warned.
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"—that nothing about this god damn place makes any sense! Why do you idiots live in the fucking North Pole!? Why the fuck does everyone here have a tramp stamp!? And why do your fucking-ass berries taste like shit!?" I had been pushed too far today. Not to rip off a popular quote, but you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
They only watched with caution as I went on with my tirade. I was sick of this. I was sick of being lost, I was sick of worrying for my friends and family.
But most of all, I was sick of these damn colorful horses. I had tolerated their stupid language, their shitty produce, and now these two jokers had the nerve to arrest me after everything I had been through today. The mere sight of them right now made my blood boil.
To my confusion, the non-unicorn one bites the blunt end of the spear and tosses it off of his back to his magical friend. After doing so, he starts running towards me with violent intent clear in his eyes. Not that I understood how he could've used that spear, but wouldn't one think it made more sense to keep the spear with you when fighting your opponent?
I didn't have time to ponder the thought long as he was already up in my business, landing a good punch (kick?) to my right shin. I grunted in pain and dropped down to one knee, not in pain but from having lost my balance.
Yeah, balance. That's it.
Instinctively, I swatted my arm at him, but he jumped away from me just in time. Seeing I was in a vulnerable position, the pony ran up to my right side faster than I could pivot to face him. He turned around, and with an audible grunt, the pony raised his hind legs and kicked me square in the jaw.
Actually, this wasn't the first time this had happened to me. Let's just say that back then I didn't know enough not to approach a horse from behind.
And just like the last time horse hooves decked me in the head, I went down. I inspected my mouth with a hand to make sure my jaw wasn't broken, and sluggishly pushed myself back onto my knees. a quick look at my opponent told me that, while he looked like he just got out of a wrestling match, he was still coming at me. Intent on pushing his advantage.
"Not this time!" I hissed at him. I had won countless fistfights with dozens of douchebags, and bested brawls with the odds stacked against me. There wasn't a chance in hell I was going to let these two schmucks beat me.
As soon as he got near me, I managed to catch him off guard and grab the fucker by his neck with both hands. Taking advantage of the situation, I stood up with the pony still in my grip, lifting him off the ground. He makes a few choking noises, but I'm not even putting any real force behind my grasp. He'd be fine.
Funny, I expected the pony to be much heavier. Also, it turned out these things weren't made of solid rock like their glittery coats suggested at first glance. They were actually covered in hair. How did their fur shine like jewelery? I wanted to ask what the deal was with that, but this situation did not call for it, and they wouldn't understand me anyways.
A shout from my side turns my attention to the very angry looking unicorn with the spear caught in his magic. The spear made a beeline for my abdomen, and I couldn't grab it because I needed two hands to hold this thick-necked shitlord. Thinking quickly, I turned 90 degrees to my left so that the spear would pierce his friend instead of me. To my joy, I could see the spear stopping just short of the guards reflective fur and moving back to the unicorn's side. I had him right where I wanted him.
He tries howling at me once more, but I was in no mood to hear it. Getting a better grip on the hostage in my arms, I flexed my muscles and hurled him full force at his unicorn buddy. Seeing as how he weighs virtually nothing to me, I have no problem throwing him that far and scoring a direct hit. Again, thank you high school football.
What I did have a bit of a problem with, is that my throw is strong enough to send the pony, and the unicorn he crashed into, sailing far away from me. Seriously I must have thrown the pony at mach two, because damn did those guys go far. The only proof I had that they ever stood near me was the spear laying on the ground, alongside one of their helmets. I had hit him so hard that his helmet came off.
Now I knew that wasn't natural. What the heck was going on with these ponies?
I didn't care at the moment. Right then, my anger was my main driving force. "That's right! Why don'tcha suck on that, you fucking horses!" I taunted at them, kicking the metal helmet that was at my feet. That thing went pretty far as well, but I didn't pay attention to where it landed. I doubted they heard me, seeing as they were a pile of limbs more than fifty yards away from me, but I deserved to gloat at this point. "Stupid ponies, thinking they can take me in a fight."
With my confidence rising, I dusted myself off and stood up straight. I walked away from the scene with a smile on my face. It's about time things finally went my way, I smugly thought. I'm going home, and nothing is gonna stop me.
Especially not these damn ponies.
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With Dusty Ore on top of Coral, the two guardians laid on the ground defeated. Dusty was breathing quite heavily from the amount of physical contact he made with the beast, and couldn't move at the moment if he tried.
Coral was also still reeling from the devastating blow. He never expected the monster to be strong enough to hurl them both across the pavement. His helmet was missing too. He figured it must have flown off upon the impact with Dusty, and was probably also the reason his head was currently pounding.
Tying to regain his senses, Coral directed his attention to the heaving stallion on top of him. "Dusty... Dusty, are you alright?"
"Just..." Dusty inhaled sharply. "Just give me... a minute," he weakly replied.
Coral wanted to put more time into making sure his friend was alright, but there were bigger things he had to worry about. "Do you see the creature anywhere?"
A few weak turns of his head later, Dusty replied "Nope."
"Ponyfeathers," Coral cursed, letting his head fall back onto the floor. "We need to tell the captain about this."
"Sure. Just... let's lay here for a while?" The drained guard rasped.
Coral managed to wriggle his way out of under Dusty and stand up on all fours, making sure he wasn't hurt too badly. "Nope. Come on, you might need medical care," he denied, leaning forward to help up his partner.
"We should also tell the captain about that... monster," Dusty said, rising off the road.
"Right."
A few moments passed in silence while Coral helped up his associate. Neither of them wanted to speak of their humiliating defeat.
"What do you think it was?" Dusty broke the silence.
"I don't know. If I'm being honest, it might be related to... Sombra." Both stallions visibly shuddered at that name. "But what I know for sure is that we are going to take it down," Coral growled. "No matter what."
There was not a single guard who wasn't actively exercising in the courtyard, and by extension, there wasn't a single guard who wasn't tired and aching. Their new captain had every stallion working overtime, whether it was running laps around the track or supporting their bodies with the tips of their wings.
"Keep going, Grit! Push yourself!" he ordered a visibly exhausted stallion on the track. So far, Shining Armor was impressed by the crystal guard's endurance and ability. The numerous stallions had held out for longer than most of the guard back in Canterlot; certainly longer than he expected. Not one of them was lacking in the physical department. But that didn't mean he couldn't push them a bit further. With a bit more time, the Crystal guard could be turned into some of Equestria's finest troops.
What he didn't expect to see were the two guards he sent out earlier, coming back from their mission just as tired and spent as everypony else. He spotted them coming through the door with heavy breaths, and with a couple dents in their armor. Seeing the two of them in their drained state gave Shining Armor some pause.
With heavy steps, he approached the two scouts, and a foreboding feeling began to rise in his chest. Something told him he would not like what he was about to hear.
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Suddenly, he had vision.
It was blurred and fuzzy vision, but still, it was vision. It was a slow process, but everything eventually became clear to him. Objects took their normal shape, and undecipherable blobs regained their corners and edges.
The long hall he awoke in was tinted multiple shades of a bland white, and many empty cots lined the walls. The window at the end of the hall to his left clearly showed that it was still bright and early in the day.
The excruciating pain in his head was the next thing he noticed, but not by choice. When he attempted to lift himself off the rock-hard mattress of his own, the headache raged in his cranium, and he found himself lifting a hoof to feel the back of his head. He was a bit surprised to find the bandaging wrapped around his head when he attempted to do so.
"Welcome back, dear," a cheery voice spoke from his right side. "Take it slowly, now."
A quick look to his right found the source of the voice. A peach pegasus mare, donned in a nurses outfit. Surprisingly enough, she was the only other one in the long hall besides himself.
"What... where?" he stumbled to ask.
"Don't worry, dear. You're in the infirmary. You took a nasty blow to the back of your head and fell unconscious," she stated as though it was an everyday occurrence. "Luckily for you, it turned out to be nothing too bad. No damage to the brain or broken skull we could see."
"How did I—?" he tried to communicate, trying to find the words. He felt like he wanted to throw up instead. "I remember being in the market, and..."
The nurse perked up at that. "Oh, well I was minding my own business in here when a couple of raving ponies dropped you off here saying you were struck by a crystal. I think they were also shouting something about some sort of monster?" she shrugged her wings. "I'm not sure what it is they're worried about, but the whole thing has me worried, too!" she didn't seem nearly as worried as she claimed, but he guessed she was putting up a front for him.
"A monster?" He lifted a hoof back to the bandage, this time attempting to remove it. If he found a mirror, he might be able to see how bad the injury really was. Plus he found the wrapping seriously itchy.
"You shouldn't mess with that bandaging, dear. It's there to cover the staples."
He froze. "Staples. Oh." That was enough to deter him from further tampering with the cloth around his head. "S-so, now what should I do, miss...?"
"Call me Nurse Poppy, Dear. And right now you don't have to do anything but lay there," she smiled. "But what should I call you? I didn't get much information from the two who dumped you here before they ran off."
The injured stallion ran a hoof through his short, messy mane before answering. "My name is Shamrock," he returned. "Who exactly dropped me off here?"
"Sorry, dear. I didn't get their names."
"Oh well. Maybe I can ask around outside and see what happened." Shamrock moved to get off the cot he was lying on, but the pain in his head begged him to stay still, and he fell back against the pillow.
"Well Mr. Shamrock, I can't recommend you go outside yet. Not just because of your condition, but with the way things are out there, I fear it might not be wise to go outside," the nurse stated with a wary glance out the window. "But in the meantime, I'd like to run a few tests on your senses and make absolutely sure everything in your head is still functioning properly," the nurse advised, reaching for a stack of papers on a nearby shelf.
Shamrock also gazed outside the window, confirming what Nurse Poppy said to be true. No ponies were trotting on by or talking outside. In his daze, the entire situation just now started to dawn on him. Whatever was going on outside, his injury must've been connected. Reminded of the painful days when Sombra ruled, he felt so helpless. It was as though he had no choice in the matter.
A quiet rage started to build within him as his head pounded. Shamrock hated feeling helpless.
"Okay dear! Now I'm going to hold up these cards and you're going to read all the letters from left to right," Poppy debriefed, with cards held in her wing. "Shall we?"
"Do I have a choice?" Shamrock scoffed.
Poppy didn't seem to care about the snide remark, if she noticed it. "Well, sure you do. I just hope you make the smart decision!"
The injured stallion gave an annoyed grunt. "Fine."
Her smile stretched even wider, "Alright, dear. Cover your left eye with a hoof and begin with the top row of letters."
Shamrock nickered and complied.
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Shining wasn't convinced. "You must be joking."
"We do not jest, sir," Coral reassured.
Shining Armor looked them over in disbelief. "I send you two on a simple mission, and you come back telling me that not only did whatever-it-was snap it's hoofcuffs in two, but it defeated two trained soldiers in battle and is now roaming around the city!?"
"We told you sir, we couldn't come in direct contact with him."
"And exactly why is that, again?"
Coral hesitated, unsure if the captain would believe them. "Any physical contact with creature swiftly exhausted all energy from us, sir. Not only that, but the creature seemed to actively negate all magic used on it. When I performed a magical examination, I detected no magical properties from it. I'm not certain, but I believe these variables are all related."
Silence fell upon the three stallions. Neither of the two guards could tell what Shining was thinking by his unreadable blank expression.
"That's impossible," Shining finally responded.
"It's the truth, sir," Dusty argued.
Shining Armor remained unconvinced. "But It goes against everything we know about magic 101! What you're explaining could rewrite some of our most basic understandings of magic! A living thing without a magical essence is like an ocean without water, or a Timberwolf without wood! It just doesn't work." His sister must've been rubbing off on him quite a bit for him to fly off the handle like this.
Coral was at a loss for words. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, sir."
Shining Armor deflated. He immediately felt guilty ranting at them both, remembering that a good leader kept a level head at all times. A look around showed that most if not all the guards on the field had long since stopped their exercises to listen in on the conversation. Some looked worried, or afraid. Others were harder to read.
He took a deep breath. "Nothing to be done about it now. Where did you two last see the creature?"
"We found it ransacking the western marketplaces, but it disappeared after our encounter," Dusty Ore filled the captain in.
"Very well," Shining Armor said before he turned to the onlooking crowd of eavesdropping guards. "All pegasi! Front and center!" At his command, a line of the numerous winged ponies immediately stood in front of him at the ready. "I want you all to scour the Crystal Empire to search for this creature. It is bipedal, wearing clothes, and roughly has the shape of a minotaur! If any of you do happen to spot this thing, report back to me on the double. Do not engage! You all hear me?"
A unanimous "Sir! Yes, sir!" was their answer before Shining sent them off.
"Stone Rend!" he called out among the clump of guards. "Where are you?"
"Right here, sir," a gruff voice said behind him.
Shining would've jumped in surprise, were it not for the masculine image he needed to keep up. Keeping a cool appearance, he addressed the former captain. "You sure are discreet for a large stallion."
"Thank you, sir."
"Stone Rend, take however many guards you need, and warn the citizens of this danger. Tell them to stay in their homes and lock their doors for their own safety."
"Yes, sir," he loyally saluted.
Shining turned before remembering to add one last detail, "And Stone? Do your best not to alarm them. The last thing they need right now is to worry about a powerful entity."
Stone gave a knowing nod. "Trust me, sir," He replied with a determined glower. "We are all well aware of what they're going through."
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I'm sure I've said it before, but I'll say it again: this is the worst day of my life.
"Welp. Now what do I fucking do?"
My adrenaline had long since worn off after my fight with the guards, and after realizing I still had no plan, my confidence soon went along with it. I soon found myself slumped in an alleyway that looked suspiciously identical to the one I was moping in earlier today. I decided that laying low would be my best bet for a while.
I crossed my arms in thought, wondering how long it would take until the ponies sent their ranks out for my blood again. I may not be very smart, but even I knew that scrap with the two privates was only the beginning. And I'll be honest, they weren't half bad soldiers. They managed to get a few good licks on me, if the marks on my body were anything to go off of.
It was right then upon examining my body that I found I had no such marks. The bruise on my face that should've been swelling up and making half my face numb? Non-existent. The scrape on my arm from when I was tripped? Gone. I wouldn't have to deal with any of the injuries I suffered in the past hour or two, because they had all gone and healed.
On one hand, I should've been happy about that, but on the other hand, what the fuck was happening to me?
I inspected the rest of my body on instinct, trying to locate any old scab or wound so I could find out I was just going crazy. Upon lifting my shirt, I find nothing that would indicate I had ever been injured.
Not even...
"Oh, hell no," I mutter in shock. "Where's my scar!?"
"Maybe it wasn't so bad," Brian tried to comfort.
I scoffed at the suggestion. "You weren't there. The guy wanted me out of his office as soon as possible."
Neil smirks as he lifts his drink to his mouth. "Can't say I blame him. You're pretty horrible."
"Fuck you, too."
I've had a pretty bad day. On top of waking up late for a job interview and nearly getting run over by a semi truck on the way there, I botched said interview so terribly that I'd rather not say how. Things only went downhill from there, and now I'm in the middle of explaining it to to Neil and Brian at our regular spot in the bar. Truth is, I didn't even expect to see them here tonight. I walked in here hoping to drown my sorrows, and there they both were, waving me over.
"Pretty busy here tonight," I casually remarked, observing the crowded place.
Brian nodded. "Eeyup. Can't remember the last time it was this busy."
"Okay, so how exactly did you botch the interview? I doubt you're stupid enough to go in there unprepared," Neil asks, genuinely curious.
I sigh heavily before answering. "No, it wasn't because I was unprepared. See, it all started when the guy's wife—"
Our conversation was cut short as a loud crashing of chairs gains the attention of everybody in the bar. Us included. All eyes are on the three men in a face-off. Two of the men are both glaring daggers at the scruffy-looking guy. Their chairs were toppled on the floor, obviously the result of them both standing up in anger.
The man with an admittedly impressive goatee put his hands up, obviously in an attempt to cool things down. "Hey, hey, let's all just settle down now."
"Not this time, Greene!" one of the other two guys bark.
Assuming these dudes had their fair share of alcohol, I knew where this was going. I had seen it all too many times during my time as a bouncer. It wouldn't be long before the fists started flying. Speaking of bouncers, does this place even have one? And if so, where was he? It was about time for him to come break it up or throw these guys out.
I must have blinked, because before I knew it, the two goons were on the goatee guy, (Greene, I think was his name.) intent on beating him to a pulp. The bartender is yelling something at them all, probably trying to tell them to scram.
The lone, bearded fighter was putting up a decent fight in defense, but it was a hopeless situation for him. One of the two brutes was holding Greene in place while the other wailed on him. Cowards. If you can't fight by yourself then don't fight at all, I say.
Among the panicked cries of the crowd, I decided I had seen enough. If nobody was going to put a stop to this, it would get out of hand, and I didn't see anybody stepping up. Those two guys needed to go.
I took off my hat and placed it on our table before I leaned in closer to Brian and Neil so they could hear me over the noise, "Have I ever told you guys I used to work as a bouncer?"
They only have time to gawk at me for half a second and blurt out "You're not seriously going to—" before I'm out of my seat and stepping towards the ongoing fight.
I can feel the eyes of the customers on me as I lumber towards the spat. I guess it is pretty hard to miss someone of my size. Unfortunately, this means that the jerk holding "Greene" spots me approaching and warns his partner. Dang, and I was hoping to catch at least one of them off guard. Oh well.
"Fuck off! This isn't your business!" One of them tries to intimidate me by advancing slightly.
Time to work my magic. "Either you and your friend leave now, or I make you both leave with headaches."
"Fuck you!" he says, throwing a punch at me. There are a million ways I could turn this punch around on the guy, but just for kicks I decide to go full on intimidating. I let his fist connect with my jaw. I don't make any grunts of pain or anything, even though it did sting a bit. Sluggishly, I turn my head back around to blankly stare back at the guy who felt brave just mere moments ago. Oh yeah, he looked afraid now.
I flex my hand before clenching it into a fist, and with all the power I can muster, I fire my arm at him. As soon as my lightning-fast punch hits, he falls to the floor and writhes in pain. He was being over dramatic, I didn't even hit him as hard as I could've.
That just left the other guy still holding onto his struggling victim. He doesn't seem phased by my show of strength as he throws his hostage to the side. He just looked really pissed that I took out his butt-buddy. In his drunken stupor, he charges and wildly swings his arm towards me. I easily caught it without a second thought and held onto it. While he attempted to get his right arm back, I headbutted him. I swear I heard Brian let out a cheer as I did so, as if he was getting a kick out of this.
I love Brian and all, but I swear that guy's a little off his rocker.
Well, that took care of them. Both of them are on the ground and it doesn't look like they're getting up anytime soon. All that was left to do was make sure "Greene" was alright, and throw these jokers out of here. The whole room is silent as I walk over to the victim, who is getting up by himself already. I offer him a hand, and he accepts it with a ghost of a smile.
"Are you alright?" I ask him.
Greene cracks his neck. "Yeah, yeah. I'm alright. I didn't even feel it."
"Well, that's good to he—"
"Watch out!" He suddenly blurts, pointing behind me. My eyes follow his finger just in time to see one of the brutes had got back up, and was now lunging at me with a switchblade in his hand. I hear a few screams right before he thrusts it at my gut, intent on turning me into a shish-kebab.
I try to dodge out of his way, but it's not enough for the blade to miss entirely. A lash of pain shoots through my body as the knife slashes across my left side, cutting deeper than I would like. Over my own grunt of pain, I hear a few more cries of fear and my name being shouted. Probably Neil or Brian.
Okay, here's the thing: Getting slashed by a knife hurts a lot more than I let on. Especially when the side of your torso is the area affected. You can hardly make any movements without experiencing sharp pain, or possibly making the injury worse. So I'm not in the best position here, anymore.
Shit, I should've payed more attention. Idiot! I berate myself. The switchblade guy wastes no time, and intends to push his advantage while one of arms is wrapped around my side to cover the bleeding. I can't let this happen. Have to disarm him!
To the brute's surprise, (and mine) Greene had managed to sneak around behind him, giving the goatee stranger the perfect chance to smash an empty bottle on the back of my attacker's head before either of us can do anything. That gets a few more screams out of the audience, and the bogey goes down for good this time.
It all happened so fast.
"This is what I get for wanting to handle things maturely," he frowns before looking towards the audience. "Someone call the police," he says before examining me in my state. "...And maybe an ambulance, too."
Hustled, nervous chatter seems to return throughout the room and my two friends rush to me and start talking my ear off in concern.
I shake my head. "It's nothing, I'm fine. I'm okay!"
Brian chimes in as he moves next to me. "Like hell you are! You lose too much blood, you're going down. Doesn't matter how big you are."
How did he know that? "It's not bleeding that much," I lied. In reality, I didn't know how bad it was, since I was too afraid to move my arm from the wound. But if the mere action of turning my torso slightly to the left gives a good lash of pain, then I should probably keep pressure there
Neil pops out of nowhere and gives his two cents as well, "Andy, it's like something out of a horror movie. There's blood soaking through your clothes, for god's sake. That's cool to see and all, but not on you."
Aw fuck, it was. Never mind the fact that there's definitely a gaping slit in the side of it from the knife, but the surrounding area of clothing was painted red. I really liked this shirt, too.
Brian grabbed a white rag when I wasn't looking, and hands it to me. "Keep pressure on the wound. We don't need ya bleeding out."
Bleeding out? The cut wasn't that bad. Regardless, I grab the rag, and quickly press it against my injury. Damn it hurts, and I'm sure everybody knows it from the hiss of pain I give.
"Don't do that again, you fucking dipshit. You nearly got yourself killed," Neil politely reminded me.
"You really do care," I half-joked. "Besides, I could've taken him."
Greene doesn't interrupt our conversation, which really could be called "Neil and Brian scolding me for nearly getting gutted like a fish." I kept telling them that I knew what I was doing, but they both remained unconvinced. The two dumbasses that started the fight had been dragged off somewhere else, hopefully to be restrained with rope or something in case they woke up before the cops get here.
The once full bar now only held a fraction of the customers. I guess a barroom brawl can really kill the mood.
Neil and Brian somehow get wrapped up in their own little conversation, keeping within arm length of me. After being silent for so long, Greene inches over to me and quietly speaks up, "Hey."
"Hey," I parrot.
With an unreadable expression, he continues, "Thanks for the save. I... I'm sorry this happened to you."
"Not your fault. You were trying to calm them down, I saw. What was all that about, anyways?"
Greene avoids eye contact, shuffling around nervously. "They were... old acquaintances of mine. I wronged them both, and I waited too long to try to make things right." He pauses for a moment before subtly adding "I didn't want it to happen like this..."
It was a vague story, but that was all I needed to hear about it. He obviously didn't want to talk about it much either, so I wouldn't press him.
"By the way," I get his attention. "Thanks for saving me, too."
He cracks a smile at that. "Oh, it was nothin'. The least I could do."
I let out a sigh. "I almost lost a fight. And more with it. I can't remember the last time my enemy got the upper hand on me." I run my free hand over my head, feeling the short bristles of my hair. "I feel ashamed."
"Hey, it could've gone a lot worse, right?"
"Yeah, it could have," I spit. "But it I shouldn't let it get that bad in the first place. I should've been able to handle them both easily, but... I just—"
"Hey, hey, come on now," He cuts me off. "I was there to cover you, and everything turned out for the better, so what's the point in moping about it?"
"Well... I mean..."
"Why don't you lighten up a bit? The stress can't be good for your cut down there," he smirks.
Well. Maybe you don't always have to fight alone.
I could hear the faint sound of sirens coming closer, and seeing as how everybody is turning their heads towards the noise, I'm not the only one who notices. The police were finally here, and not a moment too soon. I'm was starting to feel a little lightheaded.
"By the way, I never caught your name," Greene insists before I can do anything else.
"I'm Andrew. And if I remember correctly, you're "Greene", right?" I grin at him.
"Trevor is my first name," he corrects. "I'd prefer you called me that."
It was unbelievable, really. Every bruise, scratch or scar I've ever had had disappeared or faded away. Even the bad-ass scar I got when I met Trevor.
You might find it strange, but I was pretty miffed about that. That scar was like a trophy to me; the day I saved Trevor from an ass-whooping, and he did the same in return. But now it was just gone, and it just felt wrong to me.
"What the fuck is happening!?" I screamed, only to remember I was trying to lay low. "This place is giving me some super powers or some bullshit and it's freaking me right the fuck out!
"I'm not supposed to just heal every cut and wound instantly using magical Disney powers of imagination. I'm not supposed to be on a world of talking alien horses. I'm not supposed to be here!"
I kick the nearest object, and the poor metal bucket sails high in the sky with a new dent in it's side. I watch as the pail eventually falls from it's remarkable height, bounces off one of the rooftops and lands with a loud clang nearby.
Closer inspection of the area the bucket landed in revealed something I hadn't noticed before; A cellar door, covered in grime and dust. I'd somehow completely overlooked it in the past.
I shamble on over to the wooden doors in the ground to get a better look. One of the handles was missing, and a keyhole was underneath the one handle that remained. One attempt to open it tells me that the doors were indeed locked.
I give a quiet grunt. "Oh well. Wasn't like I needed to get in there anyways," I say, walking away to see what's happening outside my hiding spot. No matter where I looked, I didn't see any ponies walking around. I had at least expected some more of those guards to be looking for me right now. I highly doubted they would just forget about my little run-in with Tweedledee and Tweedledouche.
Once again, I hear the gibberish language, but not where I expect it to be. A glance in the air tells me everything I need to know.
"No. Fucking. Way." They had wings. The guard ponies had wings, and they were flying around calling to each other. And damn, there was a lot of them. There had to be at least ten of the fuckers flying around, and those were just the ones in sight!
"What the fuck is with this place? Next thing I know there's gonna be ponies that can burst into flames at will, or shoot lasers out of their eyes!" I say a little louder than I should've. I cover my mouth immediately with one hand, hoping I wasn't heard. But I can hear all the nearby pegasi rattling on in response. Probably saying things like 'What was that noise? Go find out!'
I was gonna be caught if I didn't get out of there, and I don't think I could fight my way through a gang of foes I couldn't even reach. I had to retreat for now, but if I left my cover between these two gem houses, I'd be spotted immediately. What could I do?
Logically, my attention turned towards the cellar door again. But a quick tug at the one handle reminded me that I needed a key.
The voices of the ponies were getting closer.
In desperation, I ready one of my legs. "I'll give you a key..." I remark at the cellar. One good stomp, and the doors burst open inwards. One of them even flies off it's hinges. Thanks super powers, I guess.
There's no way the guards didn't hear me break it open, though. And if they're smarter than a fifth grader they'll put two and two together and know something went in here. I don't know what I'm expecting to find in here, a weapon, a good spot to hide in, anything. just need something I can use to my advantage. I hope it doesn't come to violence right now, but... I don't think there's gonna be any cooperation from either side right now. It's best if I just continue to lay low.
More gibberish language in the distance is all the convincing I need. Hopefully my phone wasn't dead, because I'd be needing the light.
I clamber on down into the hole, thankful I can fit through the damned thing. Wouldn't want to get stuck trying to escape from the aliens. That would just be embarrassing.
With the pace I'm fleeing at, I reach the floor in no time, though it's nothing to sneeze at. The entrance must be at least 20 feet above me. I waste no time turning on my phone flashlight to see in the darkness, and I'm shocked by what I see. This wasn't some sort of wine cellar or anything like that. It was a giant tunnel, carved out inside the earth. The path extended both to my right and left, and the pitch blackness in either direction told me that there was no end in sight.
Suddenly I grew weary about this plan, but I hear the chatter of the ponies up top, and that's all the motivation I need to get the heck out of dodge.
I turned to my right, and hustled into the darkness.
Dusty Ore and Coral trotted through the streets, carrying out their orders. Coral's horn glowed, coating his magic around his companion's throat, so as to amplify his voice among the crowd, "Attention, citizens of the Crystal Empire! Due to an emergency, we require that everypony return to their homes and lock their doors for the rest of the day. Repeat: return to your homes, and lock your doors for the rest of the day. This is not a drill. "
Coral quietly mulled to himself as Dusty's voice echoed out. The forced curfew of the citizens only served to rub salt in his wounds from their earlier defeat. All he could do was consider what they could have done differently to subdue the abnormal animal.
Dusty noticed Coral's sullen look, waiting for the magic to fade from around his neck so he could console him, "I'm not any happier about this either."
"I know," Coral replied, snapping to attention. "I wish I still had my helmet."
"Good thing it's the chest-plate that augments the color of your coat. You'd stick out like a spot of shaved hair with the rest of us guards," Dusty chuckled.
The population around them hastily moved to their homes with worry and confusion visible on their faces. Such an abrupt order was unnerving.
Amethyst Glory was suspicious, to say the least. Her encounter with the strange beast occurred not too long ago, and she was positive that this fiasco was connected. Among the hustling crowd, she walked out to meet the armored duo. She was going to get to the bottom of this.
"Excuse me! Guards!" she called for them, interrupting their mission.
Dusty answered, "Yes ma'am, what is— oh," he gulped, realizing who it was. "Hello, miss Glory."
"Yes, just what is all this about?" she huffed. "What is happening that requires us to lock ourselves in?"
Coral put on his best stoic face before answering, "At this time, we can not divulge that information to you. Rest assured, the Crystal Guard will take care of the matter shortly, but right now we need full cooperation from you and the rest of the citizens to ensure your well-being."
Amethyst whinnied at his rehearsed answer. "Don't give me that. I know what this is about! This is because of that creature I saw lurking around our empire, isn't it?"
She missed the slight dilation of the guard's eyes as Dusty tried to think of a way to calm her down quickly. "Please calm down and return to your home, miss Glory. There is no need to be alarmed."
"Oh really? Then it shouldn't be a problem for you to tell what's going on," she loudly stated for the passing crowd to hear. "As a citizen of the Crystal Empire I demand that you tell us!"
Curse this mare's nosiness! Dusty spat in his mind, tossing a look to his cohort in armor. Her commotion was turning the heads of several others, much to his dismay.
Coral tried again, "As I have stated before, we have the situation under control. But at this time we require your full cooperati—"
"No. As a citizen of the Crystal Empire, I have a right to know what is going on. We all do!" Amethyst blurted out for all to hear. "Would you really keep it a secret if Sombra's minion was on the run!?"
Her words didn't go unnoticed. Ponies stopped in their tracks upon hearing the name of their ex-enslaver, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Before anypony knew it, mares and stallions were flocking around Dusty and Coral, shouting similar complaints.
The crowd steadily grew in size and volume, surrounding Amethyst Glory and the guardian duo. Amethyst inwardly celebrated, knowing that causing this outburst could finally give her the truth.
Coral and Dusty shared a calm look, communicating that they both knew this situation needed to be quelled immediately. Dusty stepped up to Amethyst before attempting to contend with the notorious whistle-blower, and cleared his throat. He wanted to make sure everypony heard his response, "Since you all want the truth, we will confess. There is an aggressive individual running rampant around our home."
A unanimous gasp from the masses sounded.
"Yes. Unfortunately, earlier today a minotaur entered the Crystal empire. He is now on a rampage through our city, and we are all doing our best to detain him," Dusty explained. "But that is all it is, an enraged bovine. There is no agent of Sombra, and Sombra won't be returning ever again."
A collective sigh of relief escaped from everypony.
Dusty continued, "But as we have already told you, we must ask you all to please return to your homes until further noti—"
"Now hold on just a second!" Amethyst butted in. "I have seen this being with my own two eyes! It was no minotaur that I saw!"
That gave the two guards, and the mob, some pause.
"Did you now?" Coral inquired further.
"It walked right up to my house and knocked on my door!" Amethyst asserted. Coral and Dusty noticed the worried whispers amid the citizens.
"That is a wild tale you have to tell, miss Glory," Dusty said to her before Coral had a chance to respond. "But it wouldn't be the first time now, would it?"
Amethyst looked offended. "Just what are you implying!?"
Coral smirked ever so slightly, and raised his voice for all to hear, "We've done this dance before, miss Glory. The snow yeti's, the murder accusations; You've had plenty of outbursts exactly like this before."
"Wha— I— How dare you! I know what I saw!" Amethyst fumbled with her words. The crystalline crowd looked less convinced as Dusty Ore went on.
"I mean no offense when I say this miss Glory, but you have a knack for crying 'wolf' when there is none to be seen." Dusty could faintly hear the hushed agreements of the mob. "But now is not the time for any arguments. Regardless of what the creature is, and I assure you it is an enraged minotaur, what we need right now is not a riot. We need for all of you to retreat to the safety of your houses."
The muttering sounds of agreement came from the citizens, and trickled away from the throng little by little.
"Wait! I'm not lying, I swear!" Amethyst could only sputter as the ponies began to disperse, begging for somepony to listen to her. She tried to argue her point to anypony who walked past, but they simply ignored her or shot a dirty look in her direction. It wasn't long before Amethyst slumped to her haunches, alone in the streets.
"Now please, go home Miss Glory," Dusty requested. "It's not safe outside."
Dusty, proud of his work, trotted away from the dejected mare alongside his armored counterpart. It wasn't long until the smug guard turned to find Coral glaring daggers at him.
"What?"
"That was a low blow, Dusty," he whispered to him disapprovingly.
Dusty narrowed his eyes. "Would you rather we let her cause an uproar? One of us had to do something and it wasn't as though you were thinking of any ideas."
"We're supposed to protect the citizens, not render them crestfallen," Coral scolded.
Dusty snorted. "Spare me your criticism, white knight. You know as well as I do that we need to step on some hooves every now and then if we want to help others."
"That doesn't excuse what you did," Coral chastised.
"Oh I'm sorry, were you going to do something about it?" Dusty mocked. "Because I saw your slack-jawed stare before I took care of it. You really looked ready to spring into action."
"You're missing the point, you foal!"
"Oh, am I!? The point was to get the job done, and that's what I did!"
The two locked eyes, daring the other to say more. Before their quarrel could continue, a shadow quickly passed over the both of them, cutting their heated conversation short. The two drones turned their gaze skyward to find the pegasus guards, all soaring in one direction and homing in on one point. One of which Coral recognized.
"Lithosphere!" Coral shouted to the nearest one. "What's going on?"
"Oh, Coral! Dusty!" the pegasus named Lithosphere noticed them. "The target has been sighted! You two better come along, We're going to need your help!" he yelled from the sky before taking off once again.
Coral and Dusty shared one last glower before they followed after Lithosphere.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Amethyst watched helplessly when the crowd dispersed. Not a single pony had believed her, no matter how much she begged for their trust.
It didn't take long for everypony to disappear from sight, and for the shrewd sound of the guard's voice to address her again, "Now please, go home miss Glory. It's not safe out here."
Amethyst could hear the gloating within his sentences, boasting over his manipulative words which turned the citizens against her. She wanted to turn and give the snake of a guard a piece of her mind, but she couldn't bring herself out of her morose state. She doubted the guards were still behind her at this point, anyways.
"Won't anypony believe me?" she whimpered quietly. Did voicing her concerns really mean nothing to the crystal ponies? Was she really only known for being the mare who cried 'wolf'?
"I believe you," a familiar voice chimed in.
Looking up from the stone walkway, there stood Glass Pond, offering a hoof.
"Really? You do?" she asked, accepting a lift from the ground.
"I saw the monster too, you know. Certainly didn't look like any 'enraged minotaur,'" he smirked. "So yes, I'm a little interested in what they're hiding."
Amethyst Glory whinnied in frustration, "Well, why didn't you speak up when I was trying to warn everypony!? I looked like a fool back there!"
"Because the guards were right about one thing; the last thing we need is a riot right now," he calmly reasoned. "Don't misunderstand me, your heart is in the right place, but you're approaching this issue all wrong."
"Wrong? I saw danger, and being the kind mare that I am, I immediately tried to warn the citizens. How was that wrong?"
Glass Pond sighed, "That isn't what I meant, Miss."
"Please, call me Amethyst. There's no need for formalities," she paused. "Pond, was it?"
"Indeed."
The following awkward silence was brief. Amethyst scanned around her, plotting her next move.
"Up there," Amethyst Glory pointed to the heavens. "Look at them."
Glass Pond's eyes followed her hoof, seeing the many pegasi of the guard flying in the same direction.
"They're all off in a hurry," he commented.
"They must've found something interesting. Maybe the creature itself?" she grinned.
Pond raised an eyebrow. "Maybe. Why?"
"We should investigate and see what's happening."
Glass looked at her incredulously, "We're not even supposed to be outside, Amethyst."
"Do you want to find out the truth or don't you? This is the only way to know. Come on, we'll be discreet," she said before trotting away after the pegasi.
"Do you even know what discreet is?" he said, knowing she couldn't hear him. Reluctantly, Glass Pond followed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dusty and Coral dashed to keep up with the pegasi in the sky. It wasn't long before they were lead to a small space between two gem houses. The duo could see that multiple guards were crowding around something, chatting among themselves. Though what it was the pegasi guards had found was hidden behind the armored ponies.
"What's the situation?" Coral asked as him and Dusty trotted forward.
All of them turned to face the newcomers, but only Lithosphere addressed them, "There you two are. Take a look for yourself," he moved out of the way to reveal a trapdoor with it's hinges busted and the entryway opened.
"A cellar?" Dusty inquired.
Lithosphere shook his head, "Actually, it's an entrance to the old slave mines."
Coral and Dusty simultaneously froze. "Why is there an entrance to the slave mines right next to a random citizen's house?" Dusty asked.
"Actually, there are random entrances all around the Empire. I've got one right next to my house, too," he explained. "But that doesn't matter right now. We have reason to believe that our target retreated into the mines using this entrance."
Coral's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."
"I wish I was."
"Does the captain know about this?" Coral asked.
"If he doesn't yet, he will soon. I sent a messenger a while ago."
"That must prove it, then. The unknown creature must really be related to Sombra!" Dusty affirmed.
"What, just because it fled into the mines? We can't know that for sure," Coral discredited. "Maybe it just needed someplace to hide."
"Why would it need to hide, Coral? You and I both know how powerful it is!"
Lithosphere boisterously cleared his throat, regaining their attention. "There's no time to assume, or argue. Every moment we waste is a moment the target remains at large."
"Alright, so what are we going to do?"
"What else? The captain will obviously have us go in after it," Lithosphere stated as a fact.
Everypony else fell silent. Each guard in the vicinity nervously looked to one another, Coral and Dusty included. Their anxiousness did not go unnoticed by Lithosphere, who also shared in their unease.
Dusty Ore broke the hesitation. "Well good luck then, Lithosphere. I'm sure you can do it."
"Are you daft? I'm not going back in those tunnels," he denied with wide eyes.
"Way to opt out, chicken-wings," a nameless drone threw in his two-cents.
"Who said that!? I'll throw you down there myself!" Lithosphere raged.
The argument escalated quickly, and the entire crowd of crystal guards was soon engaged in a verbal battle.
But it didn't last long. Coral made sure of that, enveloping his own throat in magic and shouting over them, "Enough! Quit your squabbling! "
Everypony complied, and Coral deactivated his horn. "Bunch of foals, I swear. Arguing about something so trivial."
"Coral's right, this is ridiculous," Dusty sided. "Let's just wait for the captain's reply before we do anything else."
The guards gave a few groans of compliance, and waited uncomfortably in fear of having to go back down to the mines again.
Unbeknownst to them all, two citizens observed from around the distant corner.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"In the slave mines?"
"Yes, sir."
Shining Armor had read about those caves. Back in the day, Sombra's reign ensured that everypony did grueling work when they weren't catching the few hours of sleep he allowed. The massive labyrinth of tunnels spanned even larger than the entirety of the Crystal Empire. Not to mention it was poorly lit, unsanitary, and regulated by dangerous, mindless golems doing Sombra's bidding. Conditions were so horrible that some unlucky slaves never came back out alive. It was safe to say that being down there was the Crystal Empire's own personal Tartarus.
And the fact that the unknown alien retreated into those mines made everything a lot more difficult.
"Might I ask you something, soldier?" Shining discussed with his back turned.
"Yes, sir."
"Would you ever want to go back down to the work mines?"
The crystal guard thought about his answer. "I will go wherever I am needed, sir."
"That's not what I asked," Shining Armor wheeled around to face him. "Do you want to go back down in those mines?"
The messenger's stone-face visage finally cracked. Shining Armor could clearly see the pain in his eyes as he replied, "No sir. I lost too much down there. I figure just about everypony lost something down in those tunnels."
Shining gave a light sigh. "I see. Thank you for your answer."
Their scars were still tender, that much was evident. Sending any amount of soldiers into the mines would do no good. The psychological effects of being in there could inhibit their performance, and the large scale of the mines meant that they could search for days and still never find the intruder. It would effectively be a wild goose chase.
But he knew the thing couldn't stay down there forever. From the earlier reports of the raided markets, Shining Armor knew the creature needed food and water to survive.
Shining made a decision, "Relay this order to them; Keep a pair of guards near every entrance and exit to those mines. And if there's any sign of the criminal emerging, do not engage. Notify me, instead," Shining planned. "And under no circumstances should anypony enter the mines. That is all. Now go, and be quick about it."
"Yes sir!" the armor clad pegasus saluted before trotting out the castle doors.
Shining Armor made sure he was alone before groaning to himself, "What a nuisance this thing is. At this rate it actually will turn out to be a servant of... of..."
His wife's words echoed, Unless Sombra himself comes back from the dead, try not to wake me.
Shining Armor pushed the thought out of his head. Sombra wasn't returning, and he had the situation under control. All they needed to do was wait, and waking his wife wouldn't help with that. Besides, Cadence still needed her rest.
I can tell her everything when she wakes up on her own, he convinced himself. For now, I need to stay ready in case the monster shows himself again.
Not much was known about the individual, but one thing was crystal clear to Shining. Who or whatever this outlaw was, it was either very smart, or incredibly lucky.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
For the third time since I entered these stupid caves, I walk face-first into a hanging rock outcropping.
"Fuck my life," I hiss in pain.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 