The #1 Assistant Always Rings Twice
Spike was laid out on the library floor. He blankly stared at the ceiling, some small part hoping it would collapse so something exciting would finally happen.
"Boooooooooooooooooooored," he moaned to the empty room. Twilight had gone to Canterlot for a few days. Spike had been left to his own devices; his only job at the moment was to service the seldom pony that came by to borrow or return a book.
He sighed. Complaining to the library wasn't going to accomplish anything. He hopped up; maybe he could try that 'reading' thing that Twilight was so crazy about. He walked through the stacks of literature, absentmindedly listing off the names of some of the thicker ones out loud. After nearly half an hour of browsing, he grew even more frustrated when some of the books just seemed to be the same. Then he realized he had been walking in a circle.
Spike fell to his knees, fists shaking at the air. "Aaaaaaaaargh! There's nothing to read!"
"Spike?"
The dragon turned his head to see Rarity standing in the doorway. A book was suspended above her, and she possessed a very confused look. "Am I interrupting something?"
The dragon's eyes became heart shaped; he ran right up to Rarity, eager to complete any menial task she had for him. "Of course not! I was just, uh, practicing my yodeling! Are you returning a book?"
Rarity didn't look convinced but lowered the tome down into Spike's claws. "Yes. I can see how it's a best-seller; I simply couldn't put it down!"
"The Hard Spell?"
"It's probably the best noir book I've ever read! Well, I must be going. Goodbye, Spike."
Rarity exited the library before Spike could attempt to woo her, leaving him alone with the book. The cover art of a mean-looking pegasus in a dapper suit stared back at him.
"Well, if Rarity liked it, how bad could it be?"
Spike laid the book on the floor, opening it to page 1. On his belly, he scanned the page. He read the words out loud, unconsciously.
"It was one of those long, Canterlot rains. The type where the water comes down and washes out all the scum into the gutters and clinks. Of course, with my luck, the biggest floatsam floozy would drift right into my office..."
What a day.
I woke with a start. No telling how long I'd been out. Days? Weeks? In the library, time was a casualty. The whole building screamed with silence. Not even my old buddy Owlowiscious was around to keep me company. He'd gone with Twilight, abandoned me. I didn't need his help; Spike always looks out for number one.
That's when I noticed a hard knocking at the door. And that I was narrating my thoughts like that book. Didn't care about either. But, I knew the chump at the door wouldn't go away until bopped him, so I went over and and threw the entrance open, claws clenched to slug the boob who thought it was a wise game to interrupt my nap. Instead, I opened the door to Fluttershy, tears in her eyes. She was carrying an embroidered hankie, already soaked with her troubles. 'FS', it said.
"Hello, Spike," she said to me, "You haven't seen Twilight, have you?"
Twilight had to leave on pretty short notice; not a surprise that Fluttershy was out of the loop. "You didn't know?" I said, "She's off in Canterlot."
She fought back another round of tears. "Oh," she said, and just like that she dropped into a crying mess. "Oh, it's horrible Spike!" she wailed, "Angel's gone missing and I—I can't find him anywhere!"
Angel. There was nothing angelic about him. That little ball of fur had a mean streak as long as Luna's, and the only pony who didn't seem to notice was Fluttershy herself. I'd even had a few tussles with him in my time, but to just walk out on a pony as innocent as the emotional wreck in front of me? What a punk.
I struggled to find words, any words that could give her heart a fighting chance. "Don't worry, Fluttershy. I'll help you look for him." Idiot! I'm retired from the private eye life! Don't get sucked back into to that game!
Fluttershy looked up at me. "You will?" she asked timidly. She probably knew I'd turn to jelly at the first sight of tears. I'm such a sap.
"Yeah," I reply in the nicest voice I could, "I'm sure he's just out on bunny business. You think Discord might have seen him around?"
That timid pegasus looked confused. I mean, Discord wasn't exactly the most reliable fella even at the best of times, but even he couldn't resist a begging Fluttershy. She didn't just think of askin' him?
"Actually," she said with a sniff, "I haven't seen him around for a few days, either."
That low-down snake...thing. How could he just run off and leave Fluttershy a mess like this? I had to think fast; without Angel, every pony in Ponyville would walk all over her like new pavement.
"That is strange," I reply. No Angel, No Discord. Those two were always at each other's throats. I had half a mind to believe they just offed each other is some brawl, but the whole thing was sketchy. "So where have you checked?"
Turns out, Fluttershy had only looked around her own cottage before deciding her little cherub had ran off forever. Granted how close they were to the Everfree, I asked if Angel just breezed off into the forest. Again, she said no. Angel's stuff hadn't been disturbed, and there wasn't no clear marking that he drifted out of bed. It's like he just up and left.
Before we went any further, I had to get ready for the hard case ahead. I told Fluttershy to sit still while I ran upstairs; there was something I needed to pinch before I could tackle this. I rummaged through my own chest, looking to glom my best headpiece. At the bottom, there it was. A white, beautiful thing with a red feather, a gift from Cheerilee. She was a good number. I'd have to visit her sometime when the heat wasn't so high.
And something else, too. I had helped Rarity with a big order just two weeks ago. I couldn't take her cabbage; wasn't right, so she gave me the next best thing. A white piece of glad rags with a red tie. Perfect fit.
Then, a crash. Sounded like the whole building had gone goofy downstairs; I was barely able to stand as the floor shook in every way you could dream. I made one last twitch to my hat and sprinted down, ready to KO whatever noise was rioting on the first floor.
I came down to find a disaster. Books on the floor, torn open, furniture upended. Fluttershy was nowhere, but I called anyway.
"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! What happened!?"
Nothing. A few of the open books fluttered in the wind, and—
"Wind?" I said to the ruined library. I look over to see one of the windows was wide open. Cracked, too; looks like whoever snatched Fluttershy had to leave in a hurry. I walked over to see if the bum had made some kind of mistake when he took foot. Something snatched my own, and I fell down face-first. Looking back, I saw I had tripped over a book. Copy of Magical Theory, one of Twilight's favorites.
And it was burned. Most anyone would just see some ripped pages, signs of aging. But there it was, a tiny singe mark on the top of the binder. No way it was an old burn, must've just happened a few seconds ago. I dusted myself off and look back to the window. The breeze had stopped and the silence of the room taunted me.
With Fluttershy gone and Twilight out with the bigwigs, there was only one pony who could help me on this case. With a tug of my hat, I set out into the mean streets of Ponyville, claws in my coat.
The doors bell rang its dry, sour chime as I entered Sugarcube Corner. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were busily preparing a massive chocolate sundae for some special something. Some ponies could take the sweet; my tooth knew better. I raised a claw, and Mr. Cake noticed me.
"Oh, hello Spike," he answered, "Can I help you?"
"You seen Pinkie?"
Mrs. Cake turned her attention away from their artpiece as well, eyebrow arched. "Actually, I haven't seen her all day."
Figures. No telling where she was. I thanked them for their time and headed out, but not before taking a lollipop. The Cake's pops lasted a while and I was gonna need all the sugar I could get through this. I flipped a bit on the counter as I went out, even though Mr. Cake still owed me for that score in Las Pegasus.
So Pinkie was a no-go. That left Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash, and honestly, none of them were snoop material. I didn't like it, but I was gonna have to go to the buttons. Or worse, the mayor.
Town hall was just a crack away from Sugarcube. The security around it was a joke; all I had to do was bang on the door. Pretty soon, a secretary answered me.
"I need to see the mayor," I said.
The dame at the door didn't look too pleased. "The mayor's very busy right now. Could you please schedule an appointment and come back?"
"Hey!" I snapped back, tired of the runaround, "I voted for her! The least she could do is meet with me! It's important!"
The pony gave me a gray frown. "Are you even old enough to vote?"
"Not the point! Now is Mayor Mare here or not?"
"Send him in," a voice answered from behind an oak door behind the secretary. I had my ticket.
The secretary was still giving me the hairy eye while I jumped up to grab the doorknob to the mayor's office. Typical paper-pusher. When I closed the heavy door behind me, the mayor had her back to me, looking out the venetian shades of her office. The light of the grim noon sun created a mournful shadow gazing over old Ponyville.
She didn't even look at me when she talked. "Spike. Long time no see."
"Mayor Mare," I shot back. That earth pony had her tan little hooves in everything; she probably already knew why I was here. "Look, I don't like it, but I'm calling in that favor."
"That box job in Manehattan was a long time ago, Spike."
"Darnit, Mare! This isn't some gem shuffling gig that I'm doing on a whim! Fluttershy's missing! One of the Elements has probably gotten chilled off and all you can think about is sitting here on your throne!"
Mayor Mare gave one of those long, drawn out sighs that you only hear when someone's lost an argument. "I know. Some ponies reported a 'disturbance' at the Golden Oaks library. My boys found the place torn apart."
She looked away from the blinds, eyes heavy. "We have witnesses saying you left the joint around the same time."
"I was upstairs when it happened!"
She checked my face for a second and looked back to her blinders. "I believe you. But the chief isn't so convinced. Did you know all of Twilight's friends went into the air? Twilight's missing, too."
I shook my head in shock. They were all gone? "Sweet Celestia."
"I managed to talk some sense into the chief. Convinced him to lay off you for one week. That's one week me and my coppers have to solve this."
"One week? They'll be reporters swarming this place by tomorrow. Everypony's going to be losing their conks!"
"I've got the whole case quiet. Real quiet, you got it? If you want to stay out of the clink, I suggest you keep your yap shut about this too."
"I'm not gonna be able to stay zipped if I don't even have any meat to go on."
"My boys'll let you look at the crime scenes. Try not to make it too obvious when you take the evidence."
What a highbinder. The Mayor didn't say anything else. Her silence had a way of making a fella feel unwelcome, so with a tip of my lid I mozied my way out of town hall. As I walked down the steps, a low rumble echoed across the sky. I looked up to see thunderclouds already gathering overhead. Completely forgot a rain was scheduled today. I held out my claw, and the first drop hit square in my palm. The drizzle followed, soaking me to the bone.
I'd been in colder places. With the mayor leashing her dogs for the moment, I figured the best place to start was where it all began.
Golden Oaks. What a day.
