Getting back to her daily life after the princess summit had relieved much of Fluttershy’s nervouscitement and given her the opportunity to partly forget what bothered her after Twilight’s crush on a certain guard pony became apparent. Not everything felt okay yet, but if the soft-spoken pegasus could be patient with others, she thought, she should afford to give herself some time to adjust, too.

Eventually she would get over the fact that she herself could never truly pursue the type of pony she preferred while her friends did, and life would continue as it always had. Maybe, she thought, she’d take Lucky up on his offer to treat her to some hot cocoa one of these days. Maybe she could be like Twilight and have an almost normal relationship. She certainly liked stallions, just not nearly as much as, well.. she stopped herself from dwelling on it further and went back to picking berries for her hungry bear friend.

She couldn’t be expected to feed Harry all the time, and he was well aware of that, but keeping him happy with extra treats and occasional picnics brought Fluttershy a great deal of satisfaction.

Meanwhile, a certain filly stomped away from Carousel Boutique, frustrated to tears with the proprietor of said establishment. Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, remembering that a give and take was necessary, but does it have to be so hard?! Sweetie fumed to herself.

Only moments ago, Rarity had, for the fifth time in only five minutes and the twentieth time in under an hour, scolded her for trying to help. She wondered if her older sister remembered anything at all from the letter they wrote together to Princess Celestia on the day of the Sisterhooves Social. At least Rarity had agreed to come camping with her and her friends not too long ago, Sweetie reminded herself. Still, no matter how much she tried to look at the positive, Sweetie felt the need to get away for a bit.

As “fun” as farm labor was, this time, the tiny unicorn thought, maybe she’d try her luck elsewhere. Scootaloo, she remembered, was busy today training with Rainbow Dash, which left her only a couple more likely options to help take her mind off of things. In favor of something more active, (but not as active as Pinkie Pie), the filly chose to forgo the library and Sugar Cube Corner this time and, instead, made her way to the edge of the Everfree Forest.

As she walked, Sweetie reflected back on times she’d spent with the yellow mare that lived there. Once, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Sweetie had all gone together to the spa. Fluttershy had had an unusually open ear and a warmth about her that Sweetie couldn’t help but want more of.

While Rarity had gone on for a half hour about her clients and the daily struggles of keeping up her reputation in Canterlot long distance, Sweetie had seen a side of her sister’s friend that she’d missed during the famous Cutie Mark Crusader sleepover at Fluttershy’s cottage. Fluttershy seemed truly interested in what Sweetie Belle had always thought were some of the most boring and mundane things about her sister’s life.

What surprised her more, though, occurred during the last ten minutes of their visit together. Rather than take her own turn and ignore her friend’s sister as Sweetie Belle expected, Fluttershy had, with a smile so warm it melted her inside just a little, asked her about school, her friends, and crusading. By the end of their pampering at the spa, Sweetie felt as though she’d made a new friend of her foal-sitter. She only wished she’d gotten to know a bit more about Fluttershy, who, ‘til the end, asked for no attention for herself and gave no hint that she was anything but content talking about Sweetie Belle.

To Sweetie Belle, it had seemed almost as if Fluttershy preferred talking to her over her big sister. As one of the cutest fillies in Ponyville, though she’d be embarrassed to admit she knew it, Sweetie was familiar with adoration, and something about Fluttershy’s adoration seemed truly special to her. With this on her mind, by the time she arrived at her foal-sitter’s cottage, Sweetie already had a smile again on her face.

Fluttershy started at the sudden call of the young white filly who found her digging up worms for her birds. A brief second later, she realized who'd called, and her heart stopped racing.

“Oh, Sweetie Belle! It’s just you.”

“Sorry, Fluttershy. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

Fluttershy dismissed the abrupt intrusion with her usual. “Oh, that's alright.” She quickly found herself smiling in the company of the young filly. Of all days, she thought, the young mare recognized she’d be weaker today. Already, looking down at the adorable smiling foal, she felt herself becoming twitterpated, and she wished such a challenge hadn’t presented itself. No matter. Hopefully it would be quick.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Sweetie?” She always felt a bit odd at first, calling the filly by the same name she used for many of her animal friends.

“Well ...” Sweetie hesitated, not really having thought this through. She noticed the hole Fluttershy had begun to dig and saw Fluttershy looking back at her with a patient smile and eyes that sparkled with the same adoration she remembered. Sweetie Belle let loose a sigh before continuing.

“I just ... sort of need a break from Rarity right now, and I was wondering ... kind of hoping, maybe, you wouldn’t mind if I helped you out, or, well,” she added quickly, “I know I’m not always very good at helping out ...” she looked down, and an unconscious frown began to form on the filly’s face that made Fluttershy’s expression match it, “but maybe I could just watch if you don’t want any help ... please, Fluttershy?” Sweetie’s expression had gone from a frown to pitiful in the time it took her to remember why she’d come to visit.

The pegasus mare would have done far more than grant the filly’s request to see her smile return. Fluttershy steeled herself for a moment, closing her eyes before smiling sweetly once again. This wasn’t going to be as quick as she thought. Her stomach and her heart ached, but there was no pause or hesitation.

“I’d love it if you’d keep me company and lend me a hoof, Sweetie. Certainly!” Sweetie saw the young mare’s sincerity and Fluttershy was gifted with her cheerful smile once more. “But, um,” Fluttershy continued, being the responsible one, “does Rarity know you’re here?”

Sweetie Belle thought for a second. “Well, not exactly, but she does know I stepped out for a bit of fresh air, and, unlike last time we got in an argument, I told her I’d be back later.” Her answer seemed to satisfy Fluttershy, who gave her a little nod.

“So, how can I help, Fluttershy?!” she asked enthusiastically, ready to release the pent-up energy she’d been unable to with Rarity.

“Well, right now, um ...” The briefest pause made it look like the pegasus was considering possible answers. Fluttershy already knew which one she would offer the filly but had needed to recover from a skipped heartbeat. Again, she ached as she’d imagined what could happen.

“Would you mind helping me find some worms for the birds?”

The unicorn agreed instantly. “Where should I start?!”

“Why not try, um ...” again the same ache, “why not try over there, where the soil is darker. Worms seem to like that sort of place, usually.”

Fluttershy couldn't have imagined a better angle from which to admire the digging foal.

Either way, Fluttershy would lose the battle she fought. Between what she wanted for herself and what she wanted for everypony else, she was caught. Could she ever deny the love she felt for others to take something so selfish, so damning, for her own gratification?

Half a minute later, Sweetie struck paydirt. “Oh! Um, Fluttershy ... how do I, uh, collect the worms?” Sweetie looked back to see Fluttershy staring absently at a cloud with a slight blush on her cheeks and muzzle.

“W-well, usually, I just hold them with my mouth, but,” Fluttershy realized how strange that might be for the filly who was unused to holding food for other animals, “I'll go get us a bo—”

Sweetie had made her decision. What was good enough for Fluttershy was good enough for her, and, truth be told, it felt liberating not to be concerned with manners and etiquette. This was the sort of low-impact (lacking apple projectiles) messy business that Sweetie could get into. Even if it was indecent, Sweetie felt like playing in the mud and dirt was healthy.

“Howrf vif?” Sweetie interrupted the yellow mare and blushed a little at not being able to pronounce her consonants correctly.

“That'll be perfect for the new hatchlings around the cottage!” Delicately, the light pink maned pony fluttered over next to the unicorn. “Um,” this time Fluttershy actually had to think, “do you want to give them to the birds yourself, or would you like me to do it?”

Sweetie's expression would have answered her if she hadn't understood her muffled, enthusiastic, “Uee!”

Lifting the filly into the air from behind beneath her front legs, Fluttershy flew her up to the surrounding trees, directing her to drop a few into each nest with baby birds in it and the remaining three into a nest with a particularly large brood. Anticipating Sweetie's next move, Fluttershy turned her away to let her spit out the aftertaste and dirt, and then set the filly on the ground.

“Those baby birds were so cuute!” In Sweetie Belle fashion, her voice rose two octaves on the last word. The little pony jumped up and down excitedly. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

“Um ... Nothing at the moment, actually.”

The truth was that she already needed to take a break. The normally shy pegasus had become a bit flustered. The smell of Sweetie Belle's mane still lingered in her nostrils from carrying her, and her focus on her daily tasks in such a state would be rather difficult.

“Thank you very much for helping, though, Sweetie. You didn't have to hold the worms in your mouth, but, since you fed my birds for me, would you like to join me for some of Zecora's herbal tea and a snack?”

Sweetie nodded, smile bright as ever. “That would be lovely.” It would do her taste buds some good after those worms, she thought.

Suddenly, a realization hit the unicorn. She turned her head and pivoted to glance at her flank, but nothing new appeared. An oh well expression crossed her face briefly before Sweetie again looked back to Fluttershy whom, she noticed, had watched her and now, again, glowed softly with adoration. Their eyes met, and Fluttershy blinked and turned away to walk into her cottage before her features could betray what had crossed her mind.

Sweetie Belle was reminded of how little she knew about the mare beyond her cutie mark story, and, as she followed Fluttershy inside, she determined to find out all she could. It couldn't be that hard with how naturally being a reporter had come to her, she thought. Something that she couldn't put her hoof on intrigued the young filly about how she'd always seen her mature friend behave, and she hoped to get to the bottom of it.

Tea time passed pleasantly. Sweetie had quickly gotten to asking Fluttershy questions as soon as she'd brought a tray with their tea and some cookies from the kitchen back to the living room. The situation caught the shy pegasus off guard, not because she suddenly became the center of attention, or even that her crush was showing an unusual interest in her, but because of how comfortable she felt with the filly.

Fluttershy felt peaceful in conversation like she hadn't since she could ever remember. The nervousness she usually felt about what to say and what was expected of her never surfaced. She could have told the filly anything about herself, and she wouldn't have feared what Sweetie Belle would do or say in response.

So, this is what it's like to feel safe with somepony, she thought.

Sweetie Belle had started with the basics, learning about how Fluttershy liked the princess summit—most she knew already from her sister—what kinds of animals Fluttershy took care of, and what her plans were for the week past and yet to come. Fluttershy let the time pass, unconcerned with what she'd originally planned to do that day, and went to fetch more tea and a couple extra cookies when they ran out.

“Um, Fluttershy ...” When she realized the cookies were once again depleted, Sweetie Belle thought of the time and broke from her current line of questioning—centered on her winged friend's family and former cloud home—to ask something else that she felt, somehow, might be relevant to her investigation. “Am I keeping you from anything right now? I don't want to be a bother.”

Fluttershy thought for a second about the animals she could be taking care of. “Well, before I took my trip to the Crystal Empire, I put a lot of effort into making sure all of my animals were well-stocked with essentials and in good health. I took care of what little there was before you came over and was mostly just, uhm, going the extra mile, you might say.”

Something crossed the mare's features as she spoke. There was more than she was letting on, but, for once, she held back. As focused as Sweetie Belle was on Fluttershy, the strange subtle response didn't escape her, though she didn't know what to make of it. “Are you ... sure?”

Sensing that her half-truth hadn't convinced the foal, Fluttershy hesitated. “Well, it's just—I, umm,” her typical nervousness began to return, but not for any typical reason. She bit her lip a little before going on. “I actually really like talking to you, Sweetie Belle.”

This, Sweetie began to realize, had to be it, what she'd been looking for to begin explaining why Fluttershy seemed special to her. It was Sweetie's turn to be caught off guard, now. Nopony had ever before admitted to enjoying conversation with her. What did it mean? She felt flattered, but—she vocalized the last part of her thought automatically, being in the mode and feeling like she could trust the pegasus not to think she was odd to ask such a question. “Why is that? ... Why—why do you think I'm worth talking to?” The white filly felt herself blush a little at the question.

“W-well.” Fluttershy began to feel her already weakened resolve crumble. She could only endure so much, she told herself. “I, uh, well ...” She thought briefly of confessing the true nature of her feelings, then scolded herself for even considering it. “I guess I think you're more interesting than my animals.” The lie of omission felt bad to her and it showed on her face. Sweetie Belle took it to mean that she might have offended her.

“Oh, Fluttershy, I'm sorry. I mean ... I didn't mean to say I don't like it. It's just, I've ... never really been told that before, and, um ...” Her voice wavered a bit in embarrassment, and Sweetie Belle looked down. Fluttershy blushed to see the filly look so adorably timid but not as much as after what she heard next. “I really like talking to you too,” Sweetie finally admitted.

Saying it felt funny to the little filly, kind of warm and kind of scary at the same time. She looked up to see that Fluttershy's face was a shade pinker than she remembered and that she, too, had looked down. “Is ... is that weird?” Sweetie hoped she hadn't just committed a social foe paw, whatever that meant. Having Rarity for a sister made her more conscious than most foals in the realm of social etiquette.

“No! Of course not!” Fluttershy's exclamation came softly, but to her it seemed too loud. “I'm sorry. I mean, it makes me really happy to hear you say that Sweetie. I—” She shouldn't say it. She felt enough like a monster for ogling Sweetie earlier when her back was turned and for not making up an excuse to send her away sooner. She would only be inviting more self-loathing down the road.

She said it anyway.

“I'd really like it if you came by more often.”

Despite the fact that Fluttershy was the kindest pony she knew, Sweetie had, out of habit, prepared herself for rejection. When the opposite came, an extra wide smile spread across the little unicorn's face. “Really?!” Sweetie's voice cracked on the upward pitch.

“Yes. Really.” Fluttershy stated simply to keep from stammering.

She couldn't help but be a bit overwhelmed by how it felt to actually hear and see the filly of her fantasies be pleased at the thought of spending time together. There were so many conflicting hopes and emotions.

Sweetie Belle positively beamed in response. “Is it okay if I come over tomorrow too, then?!”

Fluttershy nodded.

“Oh, it'll be so much fun! And I promise I won't get in your way ... at least not too much.” The little filly squeed modestly, knowing from repeat failures with Rarity that she probably wouldn't be able to stay out of the way entirely.

“It'll be no trouble at all, Sweetie Belle, as long as you don't mind waiting for me while I take care of some chores.” The pegasus beamed back at her younger friend.

“Um ... if it's the same to you, do you think I could maybe, um ... help you with the chores? I think I might be more useful here helping than I would be if I just waited or tried to help Rarity out.” Her smile turned a bit anxious at the thought.

“I'll tell you what. If you come over early, I'll let you feed the chickens and their new baby chicks, and I'll show you how to help with whatever you'd like.”

It sounded too good to be true. The filly nodded enthusiastically. “That would be so great! I'll be sure to let Rarity know I'll be spending the whole day here! Uh ...” She realized she'd gotten ahead of herself. “I mean, if that's also okay with you.”

“I—” The pegasus was becoming as excited as her filly counterpart now. “I'd love it if you did! But you won't miss out on your crusading or time with your sister, will you?”

“Nope! Rarity has orders to fill, as usual, and Scootaloo is spending today and tomorrow training with Rainbow Dash. I'm not really sure what Apple Bloom is up to, but I think I'd rather not get roped into catching rotten apples with her again.” Sweetie Belle's eyes lit with excitement once more as she quickly moved past that thought. “So it's settled!” Fluttershy nodded brightly in response.

A moment of contented silence, and the unicorn thought back to what they'd been discussing before they were sidetracked. Despite her breakthrough, there were still many questions she wanted to ask. Sweetie Belle found the young pegasus mare uniquely interesting, after all. So the two whittled away the afternoon and early evening talking, now even more fluidly, about a bit of everything and nothing, from their favorite colors and how they preferred to use them to what their dreams had been like lately or what stunts Rainbow Dash might try to teach Scootaloo.

Time flew by faster than either of them realized until Angel Bunny approached, tapping a pocket watch impatiently at Fluttershy.

“Well,” Sweetie Belle sighed. “I should get going before Rarity worries about me.”

Fluttershy nodded and got to her hooves. “I should take care of some things now, and you don't want to be late for dinner.” Fluttershy saw the look of disappointment on Sweetie Belle's face and felt the same. The afternoon had passed so quickly. “There's still tomorrow, though. We'll be able to talk plenty, then!”

Fluttershy approached the filly and placed a hoof on her shoulder. Side-by-side they walked to the front door, hugged, and parted ways, smiling in anticipation of spending more time together.

As she went about her evening chores, Fluttershy thought about everything she would do tomorrow to make the day fun and educational for the little filly and give them plenty of time to bond. When the time came to feed Angel Bunny his evening salad, Fluttershy noticed him waiting a bit more patiently than usual with a serious expression.

What happened earlier, he knew, was not quite as innocent as it appeared. Fluttershy could tell what was on his mind, and she sighed as she placed Angel's salad in front of him.

“Oh, Angel, you're right!”

The bunny began to nibble hungrily, but continued to listen to his owner's plight. One of the advantages of talking to animals was that they were very good listeners in a pinch, and Angel Bunny cared a great deal in return for his caretaker, even when he sometimes felt she was being a nitwit.

Fluttershy sat pensively, watching Angel as he dove in, then sighed again. “What am I going to do, Angel?”

To the soft inquiry Angel looked up, finishing a slice of cucumber. Silently he frowned, concerned.

Fluttershy examined the possibilities again. Surely she wouldn't lose her self-control so easily, but... “You know there've been times I've done things I’ve ... regretted,” her voice quivered. Still, it hadn't been with other ponies, she thought. She wouldn't allow herself to make advances on the filly. That would be reckless beyond reckless, but, “What if she and I get very close? Maybe I won't be able to stop myself.” She bit her lip, her eyes full of worry. Could she resolve, then, not to get too close to Sweetie Belle? The thought pained her deeply. She felt desperate to be loved that way by one she could trust.

“Angel, I'm in love, and ...” she lowered herself to lie on the floor, hiding her eyes behind her forelegs and whispering, too ashamed to say it at full volume, “I'm afraid I'm too weak to either leave her alone or to keep from doing something terrible.”

It would all be much easier, of course, if she could be happy with a stallion. Trust seemed to be the key she'd never found with any of the ponies who'd approached her. She feared they wouldn't accept her for who she was beneath her timid facade—how desperate she felt for affection, how shamefully selfish she believed she was to wish for somepony to take care of her for as long as she lived while she, herself, was so flawed. Couples all over appeared to be able to find happiness, and they, she thought, deserved it, so why couldn't she just be normal, like them? Nopony was perfect, right? So why should she expect herself to be in order to have a fulfilling relationship?

They'll do worse than laugh at me, she thought. If I told even the closest of my friends what goes through my mind, would any of them understand? The risk, she decided, was unbearable unless she knew beforehoof whether they'd accept her. She was likely wrong to hide this way. She let fear control her, regardless, because she knew it better than the courage needed to pick herself up if she failed, even if that fear left her feeling stifled and terribly alone. As long as her attraction hinged on the beauty and innocence of foals, and as long as it was unrealistic to hope for a foal companion, she saw no likely end to her isolation.

Throughout adolescence, a filly of high ideals, Fluttershy made a spirited effort to fight fear with faith. Her life had been full of miracles small and great back then; rebirth had given her new purity, hope that some day she'd meet her special somepony and not have to be ashamed of her foalish indiscretion. Though still poignant, loneliness had been manageable while she still hoped that she could grow away from her uncommon obsession with younger foals. When her vice had reappeared and faith alone was unable to cure her, she'd known the right thing was to throw herself into action. Christ helps those who help themselves, after all, she believed. When she'd given herself to prayer, fasting, study, and service, her burning lust didn't end, however. She blamed only herself. If only she'd tried harder, she thought.

Miracle or not, she would keep trying if it took her whole life. Every lurid mistake, every cloying fantasy, only left her feeling broken afterward, regretting yet craving more. Selflessness, enduring kindness, divine love—these were the antidote, water to a parched soul. Now, as she invited both temptation and companionship into her home with Sweetie Belle, she asked herself, which was she really after—poison or remedy? Could she temper her infatuation with self control, or was it a lost cause as all of her other attempts to change seemed to have been?

Perhaps Celestia would pity her and cast a spell to fix her. This thought had crossed her mind many times. When she'd gotten to know Twilight, pupil of the most wise and powerful magic wielder in Equestria, Fluttershy's hopes had been raised that she might at least find out whether it was possible, but she never knew quite how to bring it up. Once, when watching Twilight practice her magic, Fluttershy had managed to ask under the pretense that she was simply impressed whether there was anything magic couldn't do. Twilight had launched into an explanation that only another scholar would likely be able to decipher, and, when Fluttershy's confusion became apparent, Twilight had given her an embarrassed smile and simply said, “Basically, it depends. The short answer is yes.”

Still, Fluttershy's own observations of what Twilight could do had taught her some things. Twilight, for example, had accidentally changed her friends' destinies not too long ago, a feat somewhat similar to what she wished for, but it had made them all miserable until the gifted unicorn discovered a way to change them back. Twilight had also attempted to prepare reforming spells to use on Discord and, presumably, change how he behaved, but, if that method would have worked, then why had the princess chosen Fluttershy to reform him? Finally, at the beginning of their friendship, Fluttershy herself had been a part of the intense magic that changed Princess Luna from evil to good, but the Elements of Harmony, it seemed to Fluttershy, didn't always work that way. If the elements could be used on Fluttershy, she didn't want to end up trapped in stone or the moon. Any possible magical cure for Fluttershy's problem seemed fraught with uncertainty, and asking would only raise suspicion, which the vulnerable yellow mare wished to avoid at almost any cost.

She believed there had to be hope, but waiting for an answer hurt.

Thinking had made the winged mare tired.

In the meantime Angel had finished his dinner and hopped over to keep her close company. It felt better to have his small soft body next to hers. Her mind drifted at the thought of 'small soft body' until she snapped herself back. There was still plenty of preparation to be done before tomorrow. Whether or not it was wise, the mare accepted that, at least tomorrow and maybe a bit longer, she would have company. Maybe, she hoped, just maybe she was stronger than she gave herself credit for.

Later that night, Sweetie Belle lay tucked in bed upstairs at the Carousel Boutique, reflecting on her day.

Despite the earlier friction between her and her sister, the two made amends without any trouble. Rarity had apologized for being so short with her, and Sweetie forgave her quickly. It was a good thing, after all, that she'd gone to spend some time away. Rarity seemed a bit relieved, as well, that Sweetie Belle wanted to spend the day with Fluttershy tomorrow. Things had worked out well for everypony, it seemed.

The little unicorn replayed various parts of the conversation she and Fluttershy had had in her mind. Fluttershy liked talking to her. ... She, Sweetie Belle, was interesting. She didn't know why, but, if “interesting” meant that Fluttershy liked her enough to spend time with her and be the big sister that Rarity couldn't be sometimes, then she thought herself very lucky.

The little filly's dreams were filled with visions of baby animals and a warmly smiling pegasus.

Author's Note

Last revision published: 22 January 2015
- for punctuation and flow

Thanks for your comments so far. They've helped me stay motivated.

Edit - 12/25/14 : Revised for punctuation, flow, and detail
Edit - 9/2/14 : Revised for format, punctuation, and wording.
And thanks to Setokaiva for the follow-up proofreading.