I pulled out a map from one of my saddlebags and opened it up.
"Alrighty, so this is the map Zecora gave us to navigate through this place. Hmm, doesn't exactly show us where to go. At all. Should we try asking around or something? Hmm... Wait, where's Scootaloo?"
+++++
"Hey? Guys? Where are you?" Scoots called.
She drifted into an empty alley in search of her friends, but instead soon faced three zebras, giving her hungry looks.
"So." one zebra began, "I heard you was a chicken."
"What? A chicken?! No! I'm a Pegasus!.. Hey, why do you have a fork? Uh guys? Can't we talk this out- OH GOD!! AHH! NO! AHH! NO, NOT THE BARBEQUE SAUCE! NOOOOOO-"
+++++
"-OOOOOOO!"
"...Eh, I'm sure she's fine."
"I hope she linched herself. Hey give me that damn map", I exclaimed as I swiped the map away with my magic."I can't read this shit, here have back." I threw it back at her and I start following Applebloom, because I thought she know how to read that.
"This is taking to long, when the hell are we going to be there."
"I don't know! This map is useless, it's all gibberish."
I stopped to stuff the parchment in my saddlebags, then continued walking.
"Ugh, this is all so confusing! We should have brought Applejack or Rainbow Dash along for this instead of doing it alone. I don't even remember what we came to this darn place for anymore!"
"Neither do I and nor do I care, were here so let's find something to do, I'm bored."
I proceed to follow her and whine about how boring walking around this trash bin of a village is.
All I have to do to pass the time is to look at the shanties, cardboard boxes with some sort of cloth on the inside, to simulate ghetto bedding, and the abundance of Zebras.
"Should we ask for directions or something? Should we leave? Hey wait, look, there's a zebra guy over there!"
I walked up to this zebra wearing an overcoat and aviators.
"Hey, can you show us where we are?" I asked, handing him my map.
"How about I show you something else?"
"Something else? No, I just want directions."
"I can have something directed into you."
"Uh, no thanks?"
"AAAH! APPLE BLOOM, HELP ME! TELL THEM I'M NOT A CHICKEN!! AAH!"
I looked to my left and saw Scoots running across the street, covered in barbecue sauce and being chased by a herd of zebras.
"What's that? All I heard was 'BAWK BAWK'!" I grinned.
"Looked like the chic...I mean Scootaloo."
"SWEET JESUS! AH! APPLE BLOOM, YOU STUPID ILLITERATE INBRED HILLBILLY FUC-"
"BAWK BAWK!" I mocked.
"GET BACK HEA, CHICKEN!!"
"AAAAAHH!"
I start rolling on the ground laughing uncontrollably as I witness Scootaloo running away from ziggas. "I'V NEVER SEEN HER MOVE SO FAST IN HER LIFE, HAHAHA!" As I hold my sides I tried to stand again so tthatI could watch more.
She ran around the place, buzzing her wings to try to get away, but eventually she left the neighborhood and into the woods, screaming bloody murder like there was ten zebras trying to kill and eat her for dinner.
Oh wait.
"Alright, so aside from Scootaloo being chased by chicken hungry zebras, why are we here again?" I started digging a little hole in the ground to recall our reasons for being here.
"Surly its not just for sight seeing"
"Sight seeing? What's there to see?... Oh, yeah! We were supposed to get more wood for the barn because it burned down... Shoot, I had forgotten about that."
"Oh yeah, that shit should have burned to the ground. If it wasn't for Big Macintosh, alerting everypony on the farm, it might have been.... I mean, what."
"What?"
"So uh... yeah wood, where are we going to get some," I said trying to get off topic. "What, don't look at me like that."
"Alright. So yeeeah. Wood. For the barn. That burned down. Mysteriously. Out of nowhere..."
"Yeah... that wood, maybe these ziggas know where we can get some. Quit looking at me like that!"
I look over at a zebra wearing a beanie slightly on the back of his head with an access flap of cloth folding in the back, a pair of purple beat up shutter shades, a necklace that is a faded yellow color and a big letter "T" hanging from the chain,and he had a suspicious brown paper bag that looked wet on the bottom. "Hey do you know where we can some wood, douche ba... nice zebra."
"Naw man, if I knew were to get some, don't you think I would have got some of dat sheit," the douchy looking zebra said.
"Sweetie Belle, I don't think he knows where to get wood."
"SWAG."
"Yeah, ok. I think we should get out of here."
"YO WHAT, YOU THINK I'M CRAZY OR SOM SHIT?! IS THAT WHAT CHU THINK?! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN FUCKING CRAZY TILL I TAKE A SHIT ON YO MUMS FACE! YOU WANT THAT? HUH? GIVE YOUR MOM A DIRTY SANCHEZ AND A STORY TO TELL HER INBRED DISGUSTING RETARDS SHE CALLS CHILDREN?"
"Uh Sweetie Belle? We should leave. Now." I looked back at the crazy zebra before bolting.
"WHAT?! TOO MUCH SWAG FOR YOU?!"
"Alright fucker, I'm tired of your shit"
"HOW ABOUT THIS FOR SWAG,"I yelled. I lift the bag with my magic, open his mouth than shove the bag in his face. He starts to stumble, than I lifted my hoof up an slammed it into his face.
"God, I hate dealing with bullshit."
I stared at the guy choking on Sweetie Belle's bag and reluctantly followed her. Seconds later, I glanced back and saw a group of zebras carrying a plate. On it, Scootaloo was lying on her back, hogtied and biting an apple. There was a bottle of barbecue sauce and a red and white bucket with the letters 'KFC' plastered on it.
"CHICKUN! CHICKUN! CHICKUN!"
Scoots spotted us and spat the apple she had in her mouth. She buzzed her wings and rocked back and forth, trying to get our attention.
"SWEETIE BELLE! APPLEBLOOM! HELP MEEEE!!"
"... Did you hear something?"
"No, I didn't hear anythin."
"Yeah, me neither."
We began walking away from the place and I sighed.
"Well this was a big waste of time."
"Yeah, tell me about it."
And they lived happily- NOPE JUST FUCKING KIDDINGNUGBLORISGBKDBGJUZKFGJKE
