Learning Friendship Through Disharmony

by Junkponi

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Discord, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 9249

An average guy gets tricked into becoming Discord's pupil to learn about friendship but what is there to learn really?

John used to be your typical college student looking for a part-time gig until one day, he was offered a job that was too good to be true. Now, he's Discord's most prized student in a world of ponies to learn about friendship. Worst of all, he's having the hardest time trying to smoke without any hands.

Published 2013-10-17 07:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-29 06:00:58 UTC

Finding the Fool

“Oh, what a grand day today has been,” said the odd anatomical creature, backstroking just above the ground and hovering his way from the premises of a tranquil looking cottage. “It’s just so pleasant to visit my favorite pony once in a while. But still…”

“Discord,” came a soft voice from an innocent looking yellow pony with a pink mane that flows gracefully over her head while she trots casually out of the cottage.

“Hmm?” answered the draconequus in mid stroke as he snapped his claws together disappeared and then reappeared upside down in front of the yellow pegasis.

“Yes, my dear Fluttershy?” chimed Discord.

“You almost left this behind,” replied Fluttershy as she smiled picking up a little brown paper bag, bulging from the content within the bag.

“Why thank you, now how can I forget those sweets you made so hard for our little tea parties. Can’t let these go to waste.” Discord picks up the brown bag of goodies and deposits it into his open cranium like some kind of cookie jar.

“I will enjoy these later,” he commented to Flutter’s gesture of kindness. “But for now, I must say adieu.” Both Discord and Fluttershy waved each other goodbye as Discord comfortably floats his way down the same dirt path on a cloud that he magically caught with a lasso.

Now free of any disturbances, Discord returned his attention to his train of thought earlier that gave him a sense of perplexity and emptiness. It has been some time now since Discord became a ‘good guy’, for the most part, from his rehabilitation with Fluttershy. He even believes that this is for the best but from time to time Discord finds himself reminiscing those glory days of wrecking chaos at his own delight. Oh how fun it was causing unnatural disasters and comical mayhem before he was imprisoned in his cold, marbled form… twice.

But that was in the past and this is now. Discord is content with his new lease on life where he is free to do anything just as long he doesn’t get into whole lot of trouble. Most of all, he cherishes his friendship with Fluttershy and hopefully, more to those that wish to befriend him.

“Friendship…” Discored muttered to himself as the word brings sparks of wonderment. This ‘friendship’ that brings comfort in others, yet holds a power like no other. The very same ‘friendship’ that defeated Discord by Fluttershy and her friends.

“Surely, there has to be more to this phenomenon?” Discord asks himself bemused on his cloud that gently floats near the edge of a town where its citizens were happily going on with their lives. As if on Que, the answer came to him when he spotted a certain lavender unicorn, accompanied by her baby dragon, going towards a quaint store called Sofas and Quill until the purple reptile abruptly belches a letter.

‘Just another message from Celestia for her most prized pupil’ Discord blatantly thought when a glaring light bulb pops over his devilish smiling face.

“It’s so simple, why didn’t I think of it before?” Discord exclaimed. “I’ll get myself a prodigy of my own. This guinea pi-I mean student will have the pleasure of researching this ‘friendship’ and report any findings to me.”

Shuffling through the cloud Discord takes out an enlarge magnifying glass and looked through the giant lense from his fluffy sky perch. “But where am I to find somepony foolish enough to be taken under my wing? They would have to be cunning but not too smart, somepony who can take orders but most of a trouble maker such as myself.”

Discord vrooms through the peaceful skies over the little town looking for some innocent fool to be called his own. He looked for all kinds of ponies ranging from age to size and even personalities but couldn’t find anypony that were up to his standards. Admitting defeat, Discord slumps into his comfy nimbus to pout about his predicament.

“Maybe I’m not looking in the right place-” Discord strokes his goatee before getting up and magically opening a hefty looking door out of nowhere “-maybe I have to look somewhere no pony has been before, somewhere a little more chaotic.”
Looking into the black abyss of the magic door, Discord steps through without any hesitation. The door silently closes behind him with a loud ‘CLICK’ and then fades from existence.

Discord slithers in the black void with the intent of finding any sign of kind of getting out of this nothingness. Only the sound of his breathing can be heard in this dead space and the silence was leaving him a bit concerned until Discord sees far up ahead of him a faint twinkle in the darkness. With the destination ahead of him, he quickens his pace towards it. The closer he got to the twinkling light, the brighter his surroundings became. Soon Discord arrives at his destination to find the source of the light to be a little white orb emanating a weird aura of light.

“Ha ha ha…”

“Hello?! Anypony there?” Discord turned at the deep snickering murmur that surprised him that a sound other than him produced is heard. After a long silence of waiting for a reply, he just shrugged it off as his head playing games and went back to looking at the shining ornament. Discord then touches the orb with his paw. The orb felt warm to the touch, radiating a heat of its own. Suddenly, a flood of light engulfs Discord while he looks away to protect his eyes from the intensity of the light.

When Discord came to his senses, he finds himself hovering in the warm midday air. Taking in the new environment, Discords takes note that he is surrounded by a community of concrete and buildings with little vegetation evenly distributed throughout.

‘Interesting,’ Discord thought and then flies off to explore this alien place.

Discord flew silently through area while cloaking himself invisible to the naked eye and scanned the area to learn more about the place. He noticed that the habitants are some kind of naked monkeys with tufts of hair on top of their heads that wore clothing, busily scurrying with their lives. Discord recalls some time ago of these strange creatures being mentioned in some old texts but he doesn’t remember where and doesn’t care at the moment. Then Discord discovers where he was at when he found a sign that read University Student Parking placed in front of an open concrete building filled with metal carts.

“Oh this is just perfect! I’m surrounded by willing individuals ready for the pickings to be educated and trained. More importantly, I find an apprentice that I can use and teach the ways of disharmony. For good, of course…mostly,” Discord snickered and began his search.

Hours flew by since Discord began his quest but unfortunately, he’s coming up empty handed. It was always some flaw that Discords keeps on finding with these hairless apes such as one being too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too obtuse, too acute, too ugly, too beautiful, not enough imagination or too much imagination. Discord continued his search wavering in a random plain hallway with a wall covered with different pieces of paper that he happens to come by. Almost carelessly passing through, he noticed an interesting character next to the confetti wall that could be what he was searching for.

“No new job posting or internship for today I guess,” I sighed pulling out my cellphone from my jeans to look at the time. It read 12:41 pm.

‘Shit. Two hours ‘til my next class starts. Nothing but time now.’ I thought to myself pocketing the little device back into my pockets and fumbling now for my lighter.

It has been a few months since I entered the university life and already I’m running low on funds for essentials such as food and cigarettes. Sure, I get some money once in a while from doing odd jobs but there’s a limit when you’re cutting people’s five acre lawns and cleaning mold out of people’s homes. Honestly, I just want a stable source of income before I graduate and well, do something for a career. I guess this is why I’m always coming to the same bulletin board everyday looking for something to do.

“Shit,” I cursed at the empty little white paper box with a single broken cigarette in my hand. Putting the broken possession back into the front pocket of my black hoodie, I turn to the guy standing next to me with his headphones blaring music.

“Hey buddy, can you spare a cigarette for a fellow smoker? Please?” I asked respectively to the brown haired stranger wearing a light brown jacket and blue jeans while he was busy writing scribbles on a notepad from the bulletin board.

“Sorry I don’t have any on me,” he replied taking an earpiece down from his headphones and holding onto his pad with pen in his left hand.

‘Lying bitch!’ I yelled in my head. 'I just saw you smoking five minutes ago outside and the fact that I can see the pack of cigarettes sticking out your left pocket. Oh well, I did say please…'

“Alright, then can you do a big a favor for me? Can you look after my bag while I go into the bathroom?” I quickly asked, abruptly pushing my backpack into him and quickly switching his cigarette pack with mine as he gives the most confused look.

“Sucker,” I whispered to myself walking to the restroom around the corner of the hallway and then abruptly bumping into someone.

“Sorry about crashing into you,” I instinctively replied backing up from the intruder and wiping the short black hairs from my forehead where I was hit.

“It’s quite alright. In fact, you’re the type of pon- er, person I was looking for,” he answered.

“What?” I said looking at my crash victim. He appears to be a middle-aged Caucasian man with white hair, a goatee, and piercing reddish-brown eyes while in a Hawaiian shirt get-up as if he just came from some tropical paradise.

“I said you’re the exactly the type of person I’ve been looking,” he said circling around me and inspecting. “Yes, not too big or small, a little husky but that can be managed. And from that little scene back there, you show you can be mischievous and crafty.”

“Look, I know what it looks like but I didn’t really mean to steal cigarettes from the guy,” I pleaded hoping that this weirdo doesn’t report me to the campus PD.

“Yes you did! I saw it my own two eyes and that is why I’m offering an internship to you to be my personal student.”

“You have to be kidding me.” I said dumbfounded by what was coming out of this total stranger’s mouth.

“Nope. I’m not kidding around, at least this time, but more to the point this job requires you to follow simple orders and to simply learn whatever is given.”

“So what field is this in? Mister…” I asked.

“Mr. Discord! And yes, this can be in any field that you want it to be! There will be many benefits that come with the job too! You’ll be able to travel to new lands, meet the natives and even mingle with ladies if you get my drift,” Discord persuadably chimed, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and leading me to a broad sturdy door a few feet ahead next to the bathroom.

“It all sounds too good to be true,” I said feeling that this whole ordeal is inconspicuous and not sure of it. “But you know, I don’t know if I can travel and stay in school right now. It’ll be a hassle and I’m still not sure of the- “

“Did I mention that you get paid very handsomely,” Discord butted in handing a single gold coin into my hand. I looked down at the shimmering gold piece in my hand and felt my heart skip a beat. Fuck it.

“Where do I sign up?” I asked eagerly as he simply smiled and pulled a piece of paper out from behind us.

“Just sign here,” Discord replied handing me a pen and instantaneously the document was sign without a second thought.
“And now we’ll get into further details of what you’ll be doing for me right through this door.”

“Ah, I almost forgot. I didn’t catch your name?” he asked with a smug grin.

“It’s John,” I returned.

Discord opens the large bulky door and I walked into darkness, only to find that I made a grave error when I find myself falling into the abyss. “FFFFUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!!!”

“Oh do be careful, that first step is a doozy!” Discord laughed as he followed behind, closing the door behind him forever.

Author's Note

First story I ever written. Comments and criticism on the chapter are welcome. Also I'm looking for an editor, so if you're interested pm me.

Falling Stars and Monsters

“Hurry up Spike! You don’t want to miss the meteor shower do you?” exclaimed a lavender unicorn with a streak of magenta and purple running through her dark blue mane and tail, waiting for her purple reptile slowly following behind with a telescope in tow in a red wagon.

“I like to see you try and pull this thing up hill Twilight,” Spike spat pulling the heavy load as they approach a group of ponies on the hill in the beautiful night air surrounded by orchids of apple trees. “Besides, we’re already here.”

“Twilight! It’s ‘bout time y’all show up!” came from the southern accented orange pony with her Stetson hat.

“Sorry Applejack. We would’ve come sooner if a certain dragon hadn’t taken a three hour bath before coming here,” Twilight glared at Spike who was too busy being in a trance gazing at certain purple mane white unicorn lounging on a luxurious sofa.

“That’s alright, Twilight. Cupcake?” replied the cheery pink curly-haired pony offering a delicious looking cupcake with a white, pink swirl.

“No thanks, Pinkie. I really need to calibrate the telescope if we’re to get any good views of the meteor shower that Princess Luna told us about tonight,” Twilight declined returning to the looking glass and tweaking the propped up device.

“Um, Twilight…this meteor shower isn’t going to…uh, fall on anypony or hurt any innocent woodland creatures?” asked Fluttershy looking worried and shielding the little bunny under her wings.

“Nah, these flying rocks of fire just come and go,” answered a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane sipping from her juice box.

“Actually Rainbow Dash, these ‘flying rocks of fire’ are streams of debris left by comets or random meteors that fall and burn up in our atmosphere.” Twilight pointed out looking through the telescope while Rainbow Dash just gave a shrug and continued drinking her juice. “So there is nothing to worry about Fluttershy.”

“Thank goodness,” Fluttershy sighed letting go of the bunny that was not too keen of the restraining act.

“That should about do it,” Twilight commented finishing setting the telescope when she noticed the night sky begins to stir. “And just in time too.”

The dark sky rained pearls of light that sparkled in all direction. Some were fast and some were slow but overall, it was a spectacular sight. The scene captivated everyone’s attention as they can only look in awe.

“Don’t forget to make a wish everypony!” Applejack yelled interrupting everyone’s daze of the night light show.

“Phhsh, that’s for babies! You know well as I do that wishing on a star is an old mare’s tale,” Rainbow Dash replied plainly.

“Now that’s not true,” Rarity interjected. “Everypony have a wish that they want to believe would come true someday. And besides, it doesn’t hurt to wish for some things in life every once in a while.”

Suddenly, an unusually large falling star appeared. It out shined all of the other raining stars with its bluish hue and bright tail, dancing in the black canvas that was the night sky. With their eyes set on the blazing star, everyone closed their eyes and proceeded to wish to their heart’s desire. All but one.

Twilight’s eyes followed the flying phenomenon as her mind raced on what to wish for. She thought deeply about what worldly possession that she can request for but no answer could be found. Twilight then wondered if there was anything wrong with her life and again, she felt satisfied with her life at Ponyville. There was one thing though that did come across Twilight’s mind and it wasn’t the first time that it has in her life. She felt flustered as the thought crept up.

‘Is there a special somepony out there for me?’ she thought as the question haunted her and brought emotions of uncertainty.

This perplexing thought has Twilight questioning about herself, her future-to-be special pony and what kind of life that they both would share. Finally Twilight made up her mind and closed her eyes to the falling star.

“I wish to meet my special somepony,” Twilight whispered then opened her eyes to confirm that the wishing star she wished upon was still there.

“Is it me or is that falling star getting bigger?” Rainbow Dash asked pointing at the large blue comet soaring in the sky.
Everyone watched the comet get bigger by the second until they made a dreadful revelation.

“It’s not getting bigger! It’s getting closer! Get down!” cried Twilight as everyone fell down to get cover.

The giant blue fireball flies over everyone by only a few feet and continued until it blazed through the leafy branches of an apple tree. The fallen object then crashes behind the fire lit tree and skids towards the Apple Acre barn, leaving a trench of destruction. Its path ends when the fallen star breaks through the side of the barn.

“Is everypony alright?” Twilight asked while everyone checked on each other and then nodded back in response. “Ok, we better hurry to get that fire under control before it spreads to the rest of the orchids! Then after, we’ll see what it was that fell into the barn.”

‘Water…I need…water’ was the only thought that ran through my mind. The intense heat and pain that I’m feeling was indescribable, only that I needed to be cooled off now. Opening my eyes, I made out from my blurred vision that I’m in a hole of a building of some kind with the moon shining through the ruined wall. My body burned with an immense amount of pain as I slowly crawled out to find the nearest water source in the dark. I weakly moaned at every motion with tears streaming from my face from the agonizing pain until I felt what I was looking for.

“Water…,” I gasped weakly feeling the cool wetness of some liquid touching my face.

Inch by inch I immersed myself in the puddle being poured from a nearby open barrel and slowly closed my eyes as I plant the side of my face into the muddied puddle. A cooling relief swept over me with my body lying in the sweet scented pool.

‘Apples,’ I thought smelling the intoxicating aroma and hearing voices closing in before falling into a deep sleep.

“That’s the last of ‘em,” Rainbow Dash said putting out the last of the fires from a burning tree with a raincloud as everyone gave a sigh of relief.

“Good work Rainbow Dash! Now all that’s left to do is to check the barn,” Twilight commented and leads the group to the broken entrance of the barn.

“What do y’all reckon it is that rammed into my barn?” Applejack asked inspecting the barn’s broken wall.

“I bet it’s a monster from outer space!” Rainbow Dash replied making various ghoulish faces and ‘OOOoooOOoo’ sound effects.

“A monster?!” said Spike and Fluttershy in unison both showing signs of fear.

“Yeah! Like from those movies where the space monster crashes at some secluded farm, just like this one,” Rainbow Dash answered smugly. “The monster then eats its unsuspecting victims with its green slimy tentacles and razor-sharp teeth. And the last thing that you’ll ever hear is its horrible moaning before it gets you! ”

“Really Rainbow? How droll,” Rarity said rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, Rainbow Dash!,” Pinkie chimed in, “Monsters don’t have slimy tentacles. They have jagged claws with hairy backs and sixteen glowing red eyes and…”

“Twilight! There is no such thing as monsters? Right?” Spike asked holding onto Fluttershy while they both shuttered at the monstrous description.

“No Spike, there is no such thing as monsters. Rainbow Dash is just letting her imagination get the best of her,” Twilight sighed as her horn begins glow a purple aura before emanating an artificial purple light. “Now if everypony is done playing around, we can start investigating whatever it was that crashed into Applejack’s barn.”

Twilight carefully guides the gang into the dark eerie barn with Spike and Fluttershy straying behind. They quietly followed the skidded path from the fallen star until they reach the end of the impact. Expecting to find something, there was nothing in the small sized crater.

“Is there supposed to be a rock or something?” Pinkie questioned.

“There’s supposed to be one be one here but I don’t understand where it could have went,” Twilight replied perplexed by the missing object.

“Mmmmgh.”

“Aaah! It’s the monster!” screams Spike at the mysterious moaning as Fluttershy shrieks in terror and they both huddled together shaking profusely.

“Rainbow Dash, now is not the time to be playing around again!” Twilight snapped at Rainbow Dash.

“That wasn’t me Twilight,” Rainbow Dash replied just as bewildered as Twilight at the strange noise.

“Mmmmh.”

“It’s coming from over there!” Applejack cried out pointing at the direction of the moaning.

Twilight points her lit horn at the general area and sees something lying on the ground near some of the broken barrels in the far corner of the barn. Cautiously making her way with everyone staying closely behind, she spies an unconscious pony lying in a puddle of cider. On instinct, Twilight runs to aid the fallen pony as everyone immediately follow after.

“What is it Twilight?” Rarity asks.

“It’s a pony and I think he’s hurt,” Twilight answered as the whole gang arrives to the lying body drenched in apple cider.

“Look! He’s still breathing!” Rainbow Dash pointed out at the stallion’s weak breathing.

“Oh boy, he ain’t looking too good eitha’. Just look at all those nasty cuts and burns,” Applejack remarked at the stallion’s condition.

“Do you think that he’ll be alright?” Spike asks looking down at the hurt pony in worriment.

“I don’t know, Spike,” Twilight replied letting her lit horn die out and then magically picking up the limp pony in the moonlight.

“But I do know that standing around asking questions is not going to help. We got to take him to the Poniville Hospital and fast!”

“What about the missing star? We haven’t found it yet,” Pinkie asked looking back at the empty crater.

“That can wait, Pinkie. For now, our priority is to get this guy the medical attention that he needs.” Said Twilight levitating the body towards the exit with the moon shining down on them and the night sky clear of the meteor shower. ‘I have a feeling that this pony might know what happened to the fallen star.’

*beep*

“Uhh.”

*beep*

“Uhh…fuck,” I groaned, trying to open my heavy eyelids. Slowly, my eyes open to reveal my blurry vision but shut them immediately when the light flooded in. Rubbing my eyes, I take in the new surrounding with the annoying beeping blaring over my left shoulder.

I was in a pale blue and green room with brown trimming and the sun’s rays peeking through the window from the side. The air was cold and had a strong smell of disinfectants and rubbing alcohol. A white curtain resides next to the bed that I occupy as a beeping heart monitor and IV stand sit idly by. Instantly I knew where I was. I was in a hospital. Looking at the IV and the heart monitor, I trace the wires down to my stubby, handless arm.

‘Wait a minute…’ I thought looking over my blue fingerless limbs in horror. ‘Where are my hands?! What the hell happen to me!?!’

A wave of terror and confusion swept over me. In a manic craze, I threw off the covers to reveal the rest of my body. I was covered in blue fur and my feet…oh god, my feet were gone.

“Nurse! Nurse!!!” I cried out at the top of my lungs trying to figure out how all of this happened to me.

“Think, Think John. What could’ve happened to put you in the hospital and leave you horribly disfigured?” I told myself trying to remember the day before.

‘I was at school doing my usual check-up at the wanted board and took some cigarettes from some jackass. And then I was offered the greatest internship by some complete stranger before I fell…yeah that’s it, I fell and now I’m...him. That bastard did this! He fucking did this!! ’ I thought looking down at my fucked up figure and feeling my anger growing deep inside me.

“Nurse!” I yelled out again before the door’s knob begins to jiggle and then creaked opened.

“What’s the matter, sweetie? Are you hurt?” replied a concerned feminine voice and stepping in was the freakiest thing I ever seen.

This thing looked like a white miniature horse with a pink mane put into a bun. It wore a nurse’s hat and shares the same red cross emblem on its rear end. Expressing a concern look for my well-being, the white mare slowly trots her way towards me as I stared at her in awe and fear.

“Stay away from me…”

“Excuse me?” she asked stopping about half way.

“I said stay away from me! You, you freak!” I yelled at the now bewildered mare. “I don’t know who you are or what you are, but stay away!”

“I, I’m just trying to help you, dear. There’s nothing to be afraid of, you’re in a safe place now. Just let me give you some medicine to calm your nerves,” she replied, trotting once again my way.

“No! Get the fuck away from me!” I pulled the wires attached to my arm and the heart monitor came crashing down along with the IV stand in front of her. I breathed heavily at the shocked white mare and felt pain in my arm where the IV tubing was hooked up. Blood. Blood was trickling steadily out of the fresh wound as I try to grab my arm the best I can to stop the bleeding.

“Oh Celestia, doctor! Doctor come in quick! We have an emergency!” she cried out.

“What is it Nurse Redheart? Is there something wrong with the new patient?” replied another pony stepping in the room.

This time it was a brown stallion wearing glasses and in a typical doctor’s white lab coat except this guy was different from this Nurse Redheart. Sticking out right below his dark brown mane was a horn and not just an ordinary horn but one that glows.

“What happened here? Is the patient alright?” he questioned with his horned glowing a strange yellow aura and a clipboard floated sharing the same aura floats in front of him.

“I tried to help him when he called out for help but he refused my help. Then he panicked and caused the equipment to fall while injuring himself,” Nurse Redheart answered pointing out the blood dripping out of the side of my arm, staining the bed sheets.

“Alright, go find another pony to help Nurse Redheart while I prepare the sedative for the patient,” Nurse Redheart nodded at the doctor’s command and quickly ran out of the room while his horn glows again. I winced as I watch a syringe hovers out his lab coat and siphons an orange liquid out of a green bottle that appeared from the same coat.

“I’m only going to say this once so cooperate and we won’t have any trouble. Don’t and we’ll do this the hard way. Now be a good pony and take your medicine,” said the brown pony coming closer with the menacing floating syringe.

“Fuck you,” I told him when Nurse Redheart trotted in with another nurse but this pony was tannish-yellow with her light blue mane permed. With a nod from the doctor, both nurses lunged at me trying to strain me to the bed.

Nurse Redheart latched onto my injured arm while the other nurse struggled with the other one. I thrashed my arms about to get loose until my bleeding arm slipped out of Nurse Redheart’s grasp, leaving a bloody imprint across her face and hooves as I contend with the other nurse. Seeing the sharp needle nearing, I desperately bit at the blue mane mare in the arm as she gave a loud “ouch”, letting me free momentarily until I’m attacked from behind. I fall onto my face on the mattress with Nurse Redheart holding me down and soon the other nurse joining in the dog pile.

I struggled for my dear life under the two mares until I noticed that the orange filled syringe was nowhere to be seen. Then it hits me, literally. The syringe stings me in one of the worst places to have, the ass. Soon a mix of pain and dizziness take hold of me as Nurse Redheart simply coos me calmingly while gently stroking my hair. Knowing that this is it for me, tears swelled from my eyes and flow down my cheeks.

“You sons-of-bitches…you all did this to me. You made me into a monster,” I murmured feeling the drug’s effects and beginning to black out. “A monster that use to be human…y-you and that fucking Hawaiin shirt wearing Mr. D…”
My jaw gives out as my face falls to the bedding and my eyelids getting heavier by second. With only seconds of consciousness, I watched the nurses slide off of me while sighing in relief before the doctor.

“Nurse Redheart if you ever so kindly contact Mrs. Sparkle about her friend’s condition and then get the bandages for his injury.This one is going to need a lot of help. Not only is he a threat to everypony but he’s a threat to himself also,” he sighed as my vision dissipates from the world. “Celestia have mercy on this pony.”

“Hellooo? Wakey wakey. Anypony home?” asked the booming voice. I stir from my slumber from the loud, yet familiar voice and roll onto my side to bury my face into the unknown soft cushion to get away from the annoying sound.

“Oh come on, is this any way for an intern to act to his employer?” said the condescending voice, taunting me as I immediately recognize the speaker. It’s the bastard who put me through hell and all this pain. The bastard that I want to see dead.

“You mother fucker. I’m going to kill you!” I weakly replied rolling over and opening my eyes to see the tropical shirt wearing asshole but was instead greeted by something else.

“Ah ah ah, no rude remarks,” Discord commented as I silently stared at him trying to make heads or tails of what kind of creature he is as he sat cross legged across from me.

“Now I just like to say congratulations in becoming my apprentice and-“

“What are you?” I interruptedly asked continually staring at Discord’s abnormal structure and his smug face.

“Why, I’m your new teacher and you are my student. Isn’t it obvious?” Discord said distinctly.

“N-no, I mean what kind of monster are you and who said anything about me becoming your student?” I questioned him.

“Monster is such a harsh word. I prefer to be called unique, but if you must know, I’m a draconequus. You know, a magical creature made majority of different body part from animals. But I shouldn’t be the one worrying about that my little pony,” he smirked snapping his bird-like fingers and magically appears a mirror in his claws to prop it up to my face.

I look into the reflection expecting my own, but saw someone else staring back at me. It was a miserable blue pony lying on his side in a strait jacket with his black mane messed up. I tilt my head at the image and the pony did the same. Then I open my mouth to stick my tongue out and the reflection imitated again. Shit. I’m that poor of excuse of a pony strapped in a strait jacket.

“Why am I in a strait jacket and where are we?” I asked finally taking notice of my surroundings, seeing that we’re both in a small white cushioned room with a metal door that has a barred peep hole.

“You don’t remember John? You had a fit with the hospital staff and how you panicked when they try to help you. It was an interesting sight and it was no brainer to know that you ended up here with the way you acted,” Discord replied giving a crazy expression, waving his paw-like finger around his head and rolling his red eyes.

“Besides, that’s not important right. What’s important is that you signed an agreement to be my apprentice,” Discord stated presenting the signed piece of paper out of his non-existent pockets. “You see, and as such, you are bonded until I decide that you are of no use.”

“Ok but why do you need me? I mean, just look at you. You can make stuff appear out of nowhere and stuff. What can I possibly offer you?” I asked.

“Friendship.”

“What?”

“Friendship. I want you to research on friendship,” Discord said bending over and placing me against a wall in an upright manner. “I have always been curious on this ‘friendship’ thing and I want for you report your experiences to me.”

“Really? It’s not that hard. All you do is go out, meet new people and instantly become best buds,” I nonchalantly replied.

“Hmm, let me be a bit more specific. I want you to become friends with these certain ponies named Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy. Just get to know them and report anything of any value to me,” said Discord.

“And if I refuse?” I asked, “I’m not going to be your lackey, so I can spy on some stupid ponies. All of this just sounds too much work for me really.”

“You got a point there. How about we make a game out of this then, shall we? These six ponies all made a wish upon your arrival to this world. If you fulfill each pony’s wish, I’ll let you return to your normal life as if nothing happened. But I still want you to report back to me. Do we have a deal?” Discord replied smugly putting his paw out as I sighed, coming to terms with this game of his. What do I have to lose?

“Deal,” we shook hands, er hooves, when I oddly lifted my right leg to complete the ordeal.

“So how do you want the info be sent to you,” I asked

“Easy, just get a post card and burn it with it addressed to Mr. D and the rest should take care of itself,” Discord gestured grabbing a random postcard out of his ear and then lit it ablaze with his clawed thumb. The postcard instantly turned into white smoke and slithered its way through the peep hole of the metal door.

“My oh my, just look at the time. I got to go,” Discord commented taking an oversized pocket watch out his non-existent pockets again and showed the watch’s hands marked on ‘Time to Go’ before stuffing back in.

“Before you go, can you at least give me a smoke? I could really go for one, please?” I asked politely as he looked at me stroking his goatee deciding on my request.

“Sure, I’ll give one for my most prized pupil,” he chimed sticking his tongue out with a cigarette ready.

“Don’t push it bub,” I glared at him before he puts the jack onto my lips and then lighting it with his thumb.

The scent of cigarette smoke quickly filled the room as I close my eyes to take my first hit of the day and exhaled, feeling the cigarette’s magic working. When I opened my eyes again, Discord has already disappeared and this left me thinking my next move to make.

‘How the hell am I supposed to get out of here?’ I thought when suddenly the white metal door made loud clanking noises of the locks turning and slowly creaked open.

“I hope you know what you’re getting into Ms. Sparkle when I say that the patient..isn’t….ready?” said the doctor from before to the purple-lavender unicorn next to him and three other ponies as they all stared at me, perplexed at what they were looking at.

They silently stared at me as I awkwardly exhaled a cloud of smoke and meekly smiled, “So, how is everybody doing today?”

Author's Note

Chapter 2 up and running! Comments and criticism are welcome!

Escape

“Where in Tartarus did you get that?” the doctor commanded as the lit cigarette flew out of my mouth and levitated in front of the stern doctor. He then broke my only possession in this world, in half and stomped it into a burnt brown stain in the cushioned floor.

“NOO!!” I yelled and lunged onto the soft floor. I crawled on my stomach towards the brown pony, gnashing my teeth to give the bastard the worst bite of his life but I never stood a chance. The doctor used his weird glowing horn and next thing I know, I was hovering a foot away from him and the other strangers.

“Do you see now Ms. Sparkle? The patient isn’t ready to see anypony because of his hostile hysteria. Until a complete analysis can be made to determine his condition, he’s going to be confined here,” stated the doctor looking directly at me.

‘Take this you bitch,’ I thought, building up as much saliva and phlegm that my body can produce. Then I spat my mucus aerial attack right on to the doctor’s face.

“AHH!” cried the doctor, trying to rub the sticky mess off of his face. The lavender unicorn ran to his aid as I abruptly fell to the floor and wriggled in the strait jacket as fast as I can to the door.

“Hold it right there pardner,” said an orange-blond pony, wearing a Stetson hat, blocking my path to freedom.

I smirked at my opponent and went on full charge. She stood before me, confident in her stature as I crawled towards her and then at the last second, I turn to my side to roll. This caught the orange pony off guard and she went tumbling down from my rolling barrage. I continued rolling to my destination until I was stopped.

“Don’t worry guys, I caught him,” commented the haughty blue pegasus, leering over me with her rainbow mane face only inches away from mine.

‘That’s what you think,’ I thought, thrusting my muzzle onto hers and made out, invading my tongue into hers. The flustered pegasus suddenly pushed me off of her. She fell to the floor next to me spitting onto the floor and criticized the taste of my smoky kiss.

I then resumed my escape, crawling to the open doorway that was now only a few feet away. With freedom in sight, I meet my final opponent blocking my way. It was a pink pony with the curliest hair I ever seen and what’s worst is she’s looking at me in a funny way; as if she’s excited to see me.

“Ooo, ooo, it’s my turn!” she cried, running towards me and hopping on top of me as I squirmed to the doorway. “Wee! Look Twilight, I’m riding the pony-caterpillar express!”

The pink pony rocked back and forth in glee while I tirelessly made my way to the exit. When I finally made it, I managed to pop my head out of the entrance to look before I was suddenly pulled back in. I was this time covered in a purple aura, floating past everyone and set to the spot that I originally started from.

Everyone glared at me angrily, except for one satisfied pink pony while I slump against the soft wall, admitting my defeat. I stared off into the distance, avoiding any eye contact as the doctor cleaned his glasses with his coat and then puts them on again.

“This charade ends now,” he said, sternly turning around and walking towards the exit. “If you please follow me, I believe this concludes your visit and any future visitations.”

All four ponies begin to follow the angry brown steed out of the white room but not before saying something.

“Y’ah know, I feel kinda’ sorry for the ferlla’. He’s just scared, that’s all,” said the orange pony looking over me sympathetically.

“I know what you mean Applejack, but what can we do? You saw the way he reacted,” replied the purple-lavender unicorn expressing a concern look.

“Does this mean we’re not going to find out what happened to the falling star Twilight?” asked the pink pony.

‘Twilight? Applejack? Aren’t those the names of the ponies Discord wanted me to-,’ I thought, realizing who these strange visitors were and my only way out of this hell hole.

“Wait!” I cried after them as they turned around, staring me at my response. “Are you Twilight?”

“Yes, I am. Do you know me?” Twilight replied, looking at me suspiciously.

“No, but did you and your friends make a wish on the day that you all found me?”

“Yes, but how did you know that?” Twilight asked taken aback by the answer.

“Well, I guess it’s kind of hard to explain but I’m here to make all your wishes come true,” Twilight gazed at me perplexed by the answer before the upset doctor returned.

“Ms. Sparkle it is time to leave. The patient needs to be left alone until I-,” he said, annoyingly until he was cut off.

“Doctor Caster, is the patient ready to leave the hospital?” Twilight asked, interrupting Doctor Caster in the middle of his sentence. He narrowed eyes, looking her as if she made a stupid statement.

“No, he is not ready to leave. Have you not been paying attention to what-,”

“Is the patient ready to leave?!” Twilight repeated, sharply looking at Doctor Caster with her serious demeanor.

“Physically, he is able to leave anytime,” Doctor Caster sighs, “But mentally he is unpredictable.”

“Then I see no problem. Release him today under my custody and I’ll be responsible for his actions,” Twilight replied.

“Alright, but don’t say that I warned you. I’ll go ahead and get the discharge forms for our guest here, mister… well, we don’t even know his name,” Doctor Caster turned to me as well everyone else waiting for my response.

“The name is John,” I answered with everyone giving me awkward expressions as if something I said was out of the ordinary.

“It must feel great to get out of that jacket huh,” Rainbow Dash asked, walking beside me with Pinkie Pie through the hospital’s twin doors and into the sunny front entrance while Nurse Redheart pushed me in a wheel chair.

It has only been about thirty minutes since Twilight told Doctor Caster to release me from the hospital. I have to say, she knows how to convince a person to doing things her way. Shortly after Doctor Caster submitted, I was taken to the examination room to get a brief check-up before my discharge. Doctor Caster seemed to be relieved to be rid of me as he looked over my condition. He did what most physicians did; he stuffed a tongue depressor down my throat, listened to my heart, blinded me with a mini flashlight and even changed the dressings on my cut. I was given a break when Doctor Caster pulled Twilight to the side to sign some papers and I gotten to know Twilight’s friends a little bit better now. I even apologized for the crazy fiasco that I pulled earlier.

“You have no idea,” I told Rainbow Dash when Twilight and Applejack shortly came after us with a paper brown bag flying above them.

“Ok, we’re all set. You’re free to go and this is for you,” Twilight plops the floating bag onto my lap, “A nurse gave me that bag saying that it belonged to you when you first arrived to the hospital, but I don’t remember you having anything on you when my friends and I found you.”

Staring at the bag, I wondered what could be in the bag. Then I took the brown bag and dumped its contents. My black hoodie fell from the brown bag with a note pinned to it. Curious, I awkwardly picked up the crumpled note with both hooves to read the parchment. The note read: –Mr. D.

‘That son-of-a-bitch,’ I thought, smiling and putting on the black clothing. The hoodie went over my head easily and felt comfortable hugging against my body. On instinct, I stuffed my hands, er hooves, into the pockets to find my pack of cigarettes. Expecting not to find any, I was surprised to find a fresh new pack with another note pinned on it reading: You’re Welcome.

“Ready to get off?” Nurse Redheart smiled as I turned to return hers with my own and then hopped off the wheel chair, ready to be on my own two feet. Man-o-man was that a mistake.

I immediately fell on my face and was greeted with the bitter taste of dirt.

“That was hilarious! You were all excited and ready and, and, and then you went kaput on your face!” Rainbow Dashed laughed.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight glared at Rainbow Dash, who immediately stopped her snickering and tries to compose herself.

“Sorry,” Rainbow Dash apologized.

“Are you alright darlin’?” Applejack asked, concerned for my well-being as I stumbled onto all fours.

“Don’t push yourself too hard. You've been comatose for a week and your legs should be a little weak. If you feel that you can’t do it, you can get back on the wheel chair,” Nurse Redheart commented, ready with the wheel chair.

“No, it’s alright. This is the first time that I ever have to walk on all four and I’ll be damned to have myself to be tied down. Not again,” I weakly put my right hoof in front and back left hoof after. Soon I was moving but slowly.

“I think I got the hang of it,” I reassured myself until my back left leg tripped me and found myself on the dirt path again.

“Here, let us help you,” Twilight gently nudges her head under mine and firmly helped pick myself up as Applejack softly pressed her body against mine, supporting my stance. Then all three of us began to walk with Twilight and Applejack acting as training wheels.

“Well, I have nothing to worry about knowing that your friends are there to take care of you. Just don’t let me catch you back here again, you hear?” Nurse Redheart giggled, returning back to the hospital.

Within minutes, we were on the road following the path that leads to a small town in the distance. Twilight and Applejack steadily paced themselves to keep me walking as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie stayed beside us.

“Alright, let’s get down to business. How did you know about the wishes on the night we found you and why are you so keen on granting them?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah! Are you some kind of genie or something?” Pinkie chirped, happily bouncing at the idea of her dreams coming true.

“No, I was sent here on a mission of granting the wishes that you all made in the hopes of learning something and once I accomplished the task, I was promised to return home,” I sighed, “I’m not even supposed to be here, much less, a pony.”

“Why’d you say that?” Applejack replied.

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I used to be human before coming here, going on with my normal life.”

“What’s a “hyu-mon”?” Rainbow Dash butted in, looking confused as everyone looked to me for the answer.

“A “human” is a mammal that walks on two feet, has hands, and bare skin except for the tops of our heads,” I replied.

“So you’re like a hairless monkey,” Rainbow Dash plainly stated.

“No, not like monkeys but more ape like,” I corrected her while she just nonchalantly looked at me.

“Right, monkeys,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Anyway, none of that of that matters now,” I said annoyingly. “What matters is I need to get back home and the only way to do that is to grant your wishes.”

“What I want to know is who could have done this to you?” Twilight asked.

“His name-,” I blurted, but stopped when I felt something rustling in my pockets.

I halt my pace with Twilight and Applejack to dig through my pockets to see the cause of the disturbance. Finding the source, I take out another note from Discord. This time it read: No snitching or the cigarettes get it! Love, Mr. D.

“Is something the matter?” Twilight eyed the piece of paper and back at me, suspicious of my sudden behavior.

“It’s nothing,” I meekly replied, “His name isn’t important anyway.”

“Ok, well, here’s mah stop,” said Applejack as we approach a fork in the dirt path; one leads to town and the other goes to an apple orchard in the distance. “Pinkie and I need to do sum’ chores on da farm. We’ll meet y’all later at the Sugarcube Corner.”

“Yeah, we’re going to do some “chores” and that’s all. Nothing to worry about, and be sure to show up at the Sugar Cube, but not too early! Or too late! Actually, just show up, ok?” Pinkie commented excitedly, bouncing off to the distance with Applejack.

“I gotta jet also,” said Rainbow Dash, stretching out her wings and then lifted off the ground, hovering in place.

“Do you have to leave so soon?” Twilight asked as I shuffled through my pockets, fishing out for my pack of smokes.

“You know me, got places to go, things to do and I know that cloud duty isn’t going to take care of itself. Besides, you got John to take care of and from the looks of things, it isn’t going to be easy,” Rainbow Dash giggled, pointing Twilight towards me before flying off as I sat on the dirt path, tonguing the pack of the cigarettes to grab one out.

Twilight contently sighed before my pack is floating in a purple aura and a single cigarette meets my lips, then lights itself with my mini white lighter. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Hmm? You say something,” I said, unintentionally shooting a grey cloud at Twilight’s way.

“Do you have to smoke that?” Twilight coughed, clearing the air with her hoof.

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” I apologized, and then we begin to walk down the same dirt path towards the town. There was an awkward silence as we trotted, avoiding each other’s gaze. It lasted for a couple minutes before the mood was broken.

“You know, I’m surprised at how you’re handling all of this. I thought that you’ll be asking all kinds of questions by now,” Twilight commented.

“No, not really. I learned that you just have go with the flow in life and hope for the best. Now, if its questions that you want to know, how do you do that thing with your horn?” I asked, exhaling another cloud of smoke, expelling it away from Twilight.

“You mean this?” Twilight’s horn glowed and my pack comes flying out my pocket before returning. “It’s magic.”

“Can I do that too? It would make things so much easier than doing everything with these” I waved my hooves at her as she only giggled.

“I’m sorry to tell you, but you have to be unicorn to use magic,” said Twilight as we approach to the edge of the town. “But, there are other things than magic that you can do.”

We enter the town with Twilight leading the way. Timber-framed houses and shops laced throughout the town with certain unique buildings standing out from the rest. The place was bustling with life as the pony citizens are busily going on with their lives. Vendors were selling their wares on the streets, the sound of construction can be heard, and ponies are happily enjoying themselves, but mostly, it was the strange stares from everyone.

“Um, Twilight? Why is everyone staring at us?” Twilight looks at me and then to all the ponies that we passed.

“I believe it has to do with your smoking,” Twilight replied trotting along casually.

“Why is that? Is there something wrong with smoking?” I asked again.

“Oh no, there is nothing wrong with it. It’s just that most ponies don’t smoke and it is usually something practiced by other cultures such as zebras and griffins,” Twilight said stoically, nearing a large tree fitted with windows and a door that stuck out from the typical timber-framed homes around it. “Alright, here we are.”

“What is here?”

“This is the Golden Oak Library where I live and it will be where you’ll be staying for the mean time,” Twilight chimed, entering the painted red door with a picture of a lit candle. I followed behind her after spitting out my burnt out cigarette to the ground outside.

In the hollowed out home, I was amazed at how much room there was compared to the way it appeared from the outside of the library. The room was filled with books of different size and color, covering many of the walls and a table top with a bust placed in the middle of the room. I roamed throughout the room, reading different titles such as Magic: Concepts of Logical and Illogical Theories, Perplexing Pony Plagues and Blue Eggs and Hay while Twilight stood by, smiling at my curiosity.

“Twilight? Is that you?” came a kid’s voice from upstairs.

“It’s me Spike,” Twilight yelled back, “I need you to come down here for a second. We have company over.”

“Coming!” said the mysterious voice.

Then a purple and green scaled reptile came scampering down the stairs. He was a short little guy that stood up right and has green spikes acting a Mohawk running down from his head to his tail. He gazed at me with his lizard-like eyes as he walked towards me. He stops in front of me smiling and gives out a clawed hand.

“Hi! I’m Spike! And you are?”

Author's Note

Third chapter! Enjoy.