In an almost desolate part of town a gray pony was tying a long braided rope from the rafters of her house. The bottom of the rope hung halfway between the floor and the rafters above and a noose was dangling at the end. The gray pony was having trouble tying the rope to the rafters. Her vision condition made it hard to feed the end of the rope through the loops to secure the knot.

In frustration she threw the rope on the ground while tears welled up in her eyes. The floor was a mess with bills and eviction notices scattered in random patterns, aimlessly thrown across the room. She sat on the floor surrounded by the mess and grabbed two of the items that were close to her. One was a picture of her daughter, Dinky. Her yellow mane was brushed by the wind as she happily played in a grassy field. Tear drops beaded on the photo paper and rolled off.

The other was a pink slip notifying her that her employment with the postal service had been terminated. After five years of dedication, showing up early and staying late, they took her job from her with out as little as a thank you. Just a cold hard pink piece of paper in her work mail box was all her dedication had added up to.

The frustration gave her a new found determination to hang the rope. She flew the end of the rope back up to the rafters. She already had trouble seeing but the tears washing over her eyes made it even more difficult. She had made the loops larger this time to compensate for her troubles. The knot was finally made, messy and poorly formed. The gray pony thought it a fitting look to tie up the rest of her troubles.

She slipped her head through the noose at the bottom of the rope and flew back up to the rafters. With a quick tug she made sure the rope was tight around her neck. Wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hooves she looked down at the floor and saw the picture of Dinky again.

She remembered that one time Dinky came home in tears. Some of the other foals were making fun of her for having a retarded mom. “They say such mean things! I think you are perfect, mom”, Dinky had sobbed.

A wavering smile appeared on the gray pony's mouth edged by a fresh wave of tears. “Maybe they're right”, she whispered. Slowly stopping her wings, she fell to the end of the rope.

Meanwhile down the road at Sweat Apple Acres, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were practicing their newest skit for the upcoming talent show. They had decided to do another song and dance routine but this year they were going to try and do something a little edgy.

“No Scootaloo! You got it all wrong”, Sweety Bell shouted, “It goes like: See we could just quit and be chump motherfuckers, but we'd rather reload and just dump motherfuckers”

“Man, its a good thing that motherfuckers rimes with motherfuckers; other wise this rap shit might be hard”, Scootaloo said scratching her head.

Twilight and her group of friends came bounding down the road towards the three fillies. The party was nearly formed with the exception of the yellow pony known as Applejack. The three members of the great crusade stopped their activities to address the caravan.

Nicolas Cage was hanging out of Twilight's saddlebag. The luminescent film splayed a rainbow of colors as the sun reflected from its chrome exterior. She stopped and turned broad side to the three fillies. With a dramatic flick of her head she looked at the fillies, “Yo, AB dawg, where yo sisa at.”

“She said she didn't want to talk to you anymore”, Applebloom replied ignoring Twilight's attempt to be dope.

“Pssssht, bitch please! She be trippin!”

“No, I think she is serious this time. After you told her she was a boring friend because incest didn't excite you anymore she pretty much locked herself in her room.”

“Y'all makin' fun of that pony's retarded mama again”, a voice belted over from the back side of the hill. It's southern draw as sweet as saccharin and about as real. “Now Ah done told ya to...”

The golden orange pony stopped in her tracks much like her words. The green monster of jealousy made her blood boil as she looked at Twilight with Nicolas Cage. Seeing Nicolas Cage dangling carelessly out of the saddle bag brought a wave of emotions over her. Only poets could justly speak of the love they had for each other and the passion they shared. Applejack knew a love such as theirs could only exist in fairy tales and she felt that he knew it too. Toward the end of their relationship Nicolas Cage had grown cold and rigid and the love they made was more out of routine rather than passion. Having reached the inevitable conclusion of their relationship, she said her good-byes and left him standing on the train station platform in Canterlot.

Seeing him again raised her passion. Lusting after thoughts of feeling him touch her most intimate parts and the way he knew just the right angles to stretch her in ways that no man ever could, her face flushed and her crotch moistened. She knew it was wrong to yearn for a love lost so long ago but her heart ached for one more passionate night. One night to play like innocent foals exploring love for the first time. One night to melt away the pain of the years spent cold and alone crying with a shattered heart for his embrace. One night to say she was sorry.

“... wait for me”, Applejack finished in a soft lofty tone.

“Applejack! Get your stuff, we have to save Canterlot... again”, Twilight said dropping the dope act. She knew that she was already too cool for Applejack and proving it just seemed redundant.

“Now wait just a minute there curly pube”, Applejack smirked as her new rendition of 'sugar cube' rolled nicely off her tongue. “I recon you owe me an apology first!”

“I am sorry you're boring. Now com'on we don't have any time to lose”, Twilight turned away enhancing the sting of her backhanded apology.

“No! You said that you didn't approve of Big Macintosh not tongue punching my fart box when he went down on me”, Applejack spat with rage, “Now ar love might be boring to y'all, but you DO NOT get to come in to ar house as a guest with you scowl of disapproval and judge us on ar abilities.”

Applejack was boring. She always had been and always will be boring. The sound of her pathetic attempt of a southern accent was like knives being stabbed right into Twilight's nipples and twisted so the holes widened and layers of skin were scraped off along the edge of the blade. She had had enough of talking to Applejack.

With out a second thought Twilight used the reformation on Applejack that she had learned during her last encounter with Discord. The spell was designed by Princess Celestia to subjugate the working class to maintain the empire with out desire of compensation. It basically removed the desire to live and replaced it with the desire to work. Princess Celestia, the kind and caring ruler of Equestria. Or so the ponies thought. No pony thought otherwise.

With a sudden change of attitude Applejack smiled and said, “Ah'll be right witc ya.”

Author's Note

Almost forgot a few paragraphs from the story.