It was a peaceful day in Ponyville, With birds chirping, Pegasi working on the weather, And ponies living another day of their lives, All is as it was inbetween the 2 parter episodes.
"Another great day to be Pinkie!" She said opening the door of her bakery Sugar Cube Corner, Eager to see what ponies she would be serving today.
Business was always different everytime she opened the shop, With some ponies trying out her new recipes, Derpy coming in for her daily muffin orders, And sometimes Twilight and friends came round for a visit, But today for the 1st time in her life, Pinkie Pie would finally have some rivals.
Two ponies came into her shop with hypnotic swirls in their eyes, And enormous smiles on their faces, One of them was pink and adorning a diamond coated tiara, While the other was gray and wearing glasses.
"What can i get you two today?" Pinkie asked the clearly hypnotized ponies.
But no words escaped the two ponies' enormous pearly whites.
"It's alright, Take your time." Said Pinkie, The line wasn't that long anyway.
This time Pinkie was given something, A poster with a black background, A yellow border, And what looked like the most pedophilic smile anypony had ever seen.
"Attention ponies of Ponyville." She read aloud, "The Ministry Of Joy is looking for ponies to try out a new formula we created, Guaranteed smiles or your bits back, Anypony wanted, Young or old."
"WHAT?!?!" She screamed as the two hypnotized ponies left the bakery.
"Somepony else is trying to rival me?" Pinkie said quite puzzled at the fact that someone could compare to the smiles she brings.
"Sounds fun." Said the next customer as she looked at Pinkie's poster with a curious eye, This pony was a teal unicorn with a harp for a cutie mark, "I could take Bon-Bon with me, She deserves a treat after the long hours she works."
As the rest of the day went by, More and more ponies were handed the exact same poster, A few of them even went to said Ministry Of Joy, Coming back with enormous smiles on their faces.
"Something's definitely up, Gummi." She said to her pet alligator, "And i'm gonna find out what it is!" She finished falling asleep.
The next day, Pinkie opened her blinds to see more and more ponies were now swirly eyed and smiling, With a few new details this time, Their coats manes and tails were now a mix of yellow white and black stripes, Kind of like if a bee had done naughty things to himself, Their cutie marks were now that same pedophilic smile from the poster, And they all looked like they had been turned into mindless zombies.
"Mr and Mrs Cake! Somepony's trying to put me out of business!" She said to 2 shadowed ponies.
"We know, And you belong to them." They said with a zombified slur in their accent.
As they turned to face Pinkie, They too had swirling eyes and enormous smiles on their faces.
"OH NO NOT YOU TOO!!!" Pinkie said noticing the zombified co-workers she knew and loved.
She ran out of the bakery, Tail between her legs, And ran off into the distance.
"Come on Pinkie, It's awesome, You get these scary swirly eyes so you can prank ponies with." Said a zombified Rainbow Dash with swirls in her eyes, "And all it costs you, IS YOUR SOUL!" She said in a now G-Major-Warped voice.
Pinkie tried to run back towards Ponyville but soon noticed even more zombified ponies chasing her, They were saying some of the ministry's catchphrases such as: "JOIN US" "SMILE ALWAYS and "You Belong To The Smiler" Causing Pinkie to scream and run far away into the Everfree Forest.
Pinkie had been running for what seemed like days, When she finally noticed a metal door in the ground, It said:
THE MINISTRY OF JOY
SMILER TESTING GROUNDS
KEEP OUT!!!
Once again adorning that creepy pedophilic smile.
"This must be the cause of all this madness" Pinkie said as she pried the door open with the Pie Family's trademark crowbar, When she got in, She fell down a pipe.
"WHEEEEE! This is fun!" She said as the pipe swished and slided, It went on for what seemed like 2 and a half minutes with 14 loops in it, Don't asked how she managed to hold on, It is Pinkie Pie in this story.
"Whoa, This is not what i expected in the slightest!" She said noticing the blood trickling down from the roof when she landed.
The room she was in was made of glass, So she could see the facility clearly from here, And (If you've been to alton towers in england) What she saw was not pretty, It was all industrial, With electricity flying down from the area outside, She was however able to get a good grasp on the ponies, They were strapped into chairs against their will, And a 5-legged metal spider landed on their heads, Each of it's legs had a different machine on it.
"Hmmm, The Flasher, The Tickler, The Giggler, The Hypnotizer, And The Inoculator." Pinkie said reading aloud all 5 of the legs' names which were all engraved on the actual spider itself, "Something about this all seems Pinkamena worthy." She said shuddering at the fact that she acknowledged her grimdark side.
She was about to wonder if it was a new headgear for ponies until.... One of the spiders covered up a pony's forehead and started spinning its' legs, A few seconds after, A ring of spikes appeared around the spiders insides, And brutally cut open the pony's head, After it screamed, A special syringe was firing it's properties at the young filly's brain removing all pain and making it smile, Afterwards all five legs sprung into action, initializing their properties on the young girl, One with hyponic spinning discs, One with mini car wash brushes, One expelling laughing gas, Another injecting the filly with more syringes, And the last one slamming her with flashing lights which took her smiling picture, After it stopped, It stitched up the filly's head and gave her a pedosmile cutie mark.
"OK buddy, You've officially taken this happy thing too far! I'm shutting this place down!" Pinkie yelled into the darkness before another figure landed behind her.
"Go ahead and try." Said the unnamed stallion, "But the smiler always takes everypony one way or another, By the way my name is Pearl E Whites, Ministry Of Joy Ponyville reach president."
"Nice to meet ya, Name's Pinkie Pie, And I'M THE SMILE GIVER IN THIS TOWN!!!!" She said happily then furious that this, Pearl E Whites, Was trying to put her out of a hobby.
"Miss Pinkie, I know you are upset, But allow me to make it all better." He said calling another strap chair to said glass room in the hopes of getting her to sit down on it.
"NO WAY BUB! YOU'VE BEEN STEALING MY FRIENDS WITH YOUR METALLIC SPIDERS, SO NOW YOU'LL DEAL WITH THE PINKIE PIE!!!!!" She said resisting the urge to sit albeit her butt was asking for a sitdown.
"Come on Pinkie, I have a lollipop for you." He said showing a black and white swirly pop and placing it on the chair in an attempt to bribe her.
"You're bribing me, with SWEETS?!" HOW DARE YOU!" She said pulling out her giga-phone and yelling some complete nonsense into it, This caused the glass room to vibrate a little before it shattered, Sending the two earth ponies into a freefall, And while Pinkie fell, Pearl E was caught by the same chair he tried to get her so sit on.
"Very well little meddling horse, But you've fallen into the experimental zone, So enjoy the ride!" He said as a U-Shaped headbar came down over the sitting Pinkie, When the chairs started moving, Pinkie's first direction was down, curving to the left before swishing past a barrel roll in the track, At this time she knew what she was sitting in, Pinkie Pie was sitting in a roller coaster chair.
"As fun as this is, I'm starting to worry a little." She said as she swished under the legs of another metal spider, Only this one was larger than the ones she had seen, And it was adorning a cluster of TV screens where it's internal buzz saw should have been.
There was a demonic song playing in the back ground as she rode the mechanical deathtrap [youtube=watch?v=HpAKsWssXpA] With Pearl E Whites watching her as she screamed in terror.
When she came off, She went through what seemed like an acid trip just to arrive at what looked like a gift shop, She reluctantly bought her picture and looked at a group of other pictures, The pictures were of Ponyville ponies and Canterlot High students.
"He got the kids at Canterlot High as well?" She said with a horrified look on her face.
Just as things could not possibly get any worse, There was a stream of blood coming from the roof spelling out the word "JOIN US!"
"Do you see now Pinkie? The only way out is to let us work on you." Pearl E said as the gift shop suddenly changed into an arena, With another enormous metal spider coming out of it, And another one, And another one, AND ANOTHER ONE!
"Behold! The Marmaliser 8000! This device is guaranteed to make you smile, And in turn it makes you one of us." He said with a sinister look on his face, "As soon as you get marmalised, THESE HIT THE STREETS!!!!!!!" He said as he leapt on top of one of the marmalisers and bore a giant sword.
"Oh you wanna go? COME ON LET'S GO!!!!!" Pinkie said as she pulled out her Party Cannon and started shooting wildly at the marmalisers, Each hit bouncing off their metallic shells, And impacting the support beams above.
"Is that all? How pathetic! Now, Little Pinkie, OPEN YOUR HEART TO JOY AND SURRENDER YOURSELF TO THE SMILER!!!!!!" Pearl E said with a horrifying visage on his now insane face as the 60 foot marmalisers shot yellow and black lightning at Pinkie, To which she dodged miraculously.
With all this insanity however, Pinkie Pie was still able to fire more Party Cannon shots up into the air causing more support beam impacts, this in turn caused the support beams to snap, Which had them now falling down, Looking to crush the metal spiders.
"ANY LAST REQUESTS?!" Pearl E asked her as his marmalisers now cornered Pinkie.
"Yeah, Could you suddenly turn into a scarred pony coming out of a pile of metal debris?" She said as the support beams came ever closer.
"Huh- AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" He screamed as the spiders were crushed by the avalanche of metal beams and bolts, And replaced with a dust cloud and wreckage, To which he climbed out of and pulled a little remote out of his coat.
"Now Pinkie, If i'm dying.... I'M TAKING YOU DOWN WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He said in a G-Major-Warped voice before pushing a red button on the remote and fainted afterwards.
Suddenly a deafening siren went off and a computerized warped voice said, "MINISTRY OF JOY SELF-DESTRUCT ACTIVATED, THIS PLACE WILL EXPLODE IN 10 SECONDS."
"UH-OH, Time to make like Dashie and fly!" She said loading herself into the Party Cannon and shooting upwards into the clear night sky, Pinkie and the explosion were neck and neck, But Pinkie flew out of the fires just barely with her tail a little singed from the fires.
"Well that was fun and dicey, It was ficey!" Said Pinkie as she came up with another word fusion
The next day all was as it was, and all the marmalised ponies were back to normal and everything was well and good, And Twilight was asking Pinkie why she felt funny a few days ago.
And all Pinkie had to say was, "You need to lay off the cider." She started laughing as we fade to black.
Author's Note
Well that was interesting wasn't it?
By the way, GO TO ALTON TOWERS IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE REAL THING!
But anyway, my 1st one chapter fanfic is done.
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