Relax, and Just Listen to the Voice at the End of Your Bed.
About 5:15 AM
Walking along in the darkened street I had some moments to collect my thoughts. The first of which was how was I going to wake up Liz. She sleeps on the second floor of her home and it's not like she just left it unlocked. Of course she did often leave her front door unlocked so maybe with luck; her family would've forgotten to lock it. With that taken care of the next question is, ‘what am I going to do once I'm there?’ Well, obviously wake her up and then let her come up with a plan of action. I'm not so good with the big life changing decisions. Now, with being a pony, I was completely open to suggestions.
I stopped when I reached the large street that separated our two neighborhoods. Luckily, since it was about five in the morning nobody was driving. Even though it was close to being abandoned at this time I still wanted to be safe. I had to keep calm, stay cool, and be ready for the challenge that faced me. Thus, finished mentally preparing myself, I trotted up to the edge of the sidewalk and watched the countdown for the stoplight. I can do this.
3...
2...
1...
GO!
I charged across the expanse of road practically screeching out my entire list of foreign curse words. After what seemed like forever, I found myself on the other side of the road sweating and out of breath. Looking back I saw no cars, but a fair number of houses were beginning to light up. Yeah, I handled that like a boss.
Continuing along my path I decided I had some time to return to my thoughts. The first of which was that I was going to have to look up more foreign curses so I could have a wider range. I should probably explain that. Basically, I feel that for starters, English is a fairly boring language and that at times it can become... monotonous in some ways. So I decided to learn foreign curse words because, they had several distinct advantages. First, I could use them and nobody would have a clue as to what I was saying. The other was that I was a fairly angry blonde teenager. Thus, I could say these words in front of little kids and I didn't have to worry about parents yelling at me for corrupting their children. Then there was the fact it sounded cool and made me sound educated. Or at least that's what I'd like to think. My brother would say, “If you're going to curse, then do it in a language that the people around you will know.”, but what does he know?
I looked up and saw the two story house with the large trees on both sides of the driveway. Trotting up to the door, I mentally prayed that the door would be unlocked. Please... Please... Yes! For the first time that night, fate was on my side. Well I guess it had been there earlier, but it had made me pay in blunt force trauma so it wasn't really fair.
Silently opening the door I made my way into the house and shut the door behind me. It occurred to me that if I wasn't a pony this would probably be really creepy. Wait, never mind, it would still pretty creepy. But it was too late to turn back now. I managed to make my way up the stairs having only tripped once. As I entered her room I slowly shut the door behind me. Yep, creeper status achieved.
In the darkness of the room I could just make out her sleeping figure on the small bed. She was a fairly short Asian who, at first sight would look no more than fourteen, but was in fact eighteen. With no doubt, she would occasionally act childish and wouldn’t care who was watching. Overall, she was a really good friend who knew there was a time to be serious, and a time to be silly and joke around.
As I was standing in the middle of her bedroom I was wondering how I was going to do this? If I just woke her up she would probably scream, or at the very least speak loud enough that she would wake the entire house up. I managed to tiptoe my way to the end of her bed and lowered myself so I couldn't be seen. Right, here goes nothing.
"Liz," I let out in a faint whisper. Nothing.
"Liz!"
"Liz!"
Oh for... I really didn't want to risk speaking any louder, but she was just refusing to wake up. I reached out a hoof and poked her foot before ducking back down. Still nothing! I sat up again and tried poking her foot once more; quickly ducking my head before she saw me. Unfortunately, I ended up hitting my head against her bed rail.
"Agh! Merde! Malaka! Vaffanculo!" I let out in a very loud whisper trying to tilt my head back to prevent the blood from going down my face.
I heard a faint murmur, and the sound of her sitting up. Well, I guess fate really did only answer to head trauma. I crouched even lower, afraid she might see me. I was scared to break the silence and I waited several moments before I heard her let out a whisper.
"Who's there?"
Just a friend who turned into a pony and decided it was a good idea to sneak into your house in the middle of the night so you could help him. Deciding that probably wasn't the best answer; I went with a different one.
"Noah." I let out in a faint whisper.
Please don't scream, please don't scream...
"What the hell are you doing in my house at five in the morning?" she answered back in a whisper.
Yes! Yes! Thank you fate! As soon as this is over I will hit my head against a cinder block a thousand times in thanks!
"It's... complicated and sort of hard to explain..."
"What's wrong with your voice?"
"Look... um... just come outside with me."
Yep, totally not sounding like a creeper. Please fate! Work for me again! Wait, what if it's luck and not fate? Which one is it then? Which do I send my hopes to? My thoughts were interrupted when she spoke up again.
"No. Tell me what the hell you think you're doing in my house!"
"It's not exactly easy to put into words!"
"Try."
Right do I just go with it subtly or do I just break it to her? Hmmm… Meh! Subtly is boring.
"I woke up as a pony, my head hurts like hell, and I need you to help me or I think I might go insane!"
"Wait... what? Okay fine, I'll be outside in just a minute."
Satisfied, I walked over to the door, grabbed it in my mouth and yanked it open. I made my way downstairs and closed the front door behind me. It occurred to me that she might not actually follow me outside though. She could always just lock the door behind me. I probably should have thought that one through. I then heard the sound of the door opening and I saw her step outside and look around in the dark before turning on the porch light.
She scanned around for me before she saw me just a foot or so before her eye level. Wow, I knew she was short, but when a pony is almost taller than you... Oh wait… that’s right. I looked up and saw her eyes go big. They seemed to glaze over for a moment as they tried to comprehend the situation. I should probably start talking.
"Look-" before I could finish though I saw her mind finally catch up and she decided to voice the first words that came to her.
"Apple Fritter?" Her tone was more confused than shocked if anything.
"-but I... wait what? I'm a female pony? Oh you have got to be kidding me!" I facehoofed. Ow! Oh yeah, I almost forgot about my injuries.
Notice: This story has yet to be looked at my editor. I apologize in advance for the horrible use of commas.
About 5:35 AM
I began pacing back and forth muttering to myself about how unfair this was. Of all the ponies I could of turned into it was a female pony. Not even one of the mane six or one of the important background ponies! Granted Apple Fritter was my favorite Earth Pony that wasn't in the mane six, was female, not one of the main background ponies, was a member of the Apple family, and had green hair... Look I don't like making decision, okay? I heard a small cough and saw that Liz was still standing there.
"Um, Noah... is that really you," I heard her ask trying to look into my eyes as if that would answer the question.
"Yes, Liz it's me. Look it's really hard to explain. I just woke up like this and I decided I should go to someone who might now what was happening".
"While I'm flattered, may I ask why you're covered in blood, cuts, and bruises?"
Oh yeah. That would probably be something that came up. While I was trying to formulate a way to answer her question her phone buzzed. Pulling it out she read a text message. I always thought it was kind of rude to do that while talking to someone. As if you weren't even paying attention to that person anymore. Granted, I was also guilty of doing that on occasion, but I didn't do it that often. She decided it wasn't really that important as she put her phone away and looked back up at me.
"Look, it's a long story but I'd kind of like to get going."
"Where?"
Oh. I guess I hadn't thought of that. What does one do when they turn into a pony? Wasn't there a post the other day on the My Little Pony Cheezburger page? What was it...? Go to New York? No that's was a stupid idea if you were a pony then you didn't go into a crowded city. Then everyone can easily find you! Finding a quiet area out here in Kansas wouldn't be too difficult I suppose. All I needed to do was take a thirty minute drive or so to get out of town. Yeah, that seemed like the best idea.
"We need to get out of town. I know of a camping spot a ways away from here. Grab some supplies."
Liz looked at me for a moment or two considering her options. She eventually sighed and went inside for a few minutes before returning with a bag of food and the keys to her van.
"Would you mind if we stopped back at my place? I have some things I would like to grab," I asked.
She sighed as we climbed into her van. I looked down at the seatbelt and thought about what my options were. After struggling for a few moments while Liz sat trying to hold back laughter I finally managed to pull a Lyra. Wait, this left my body in way to suggestive of a pose. Sighing while Liz began clutching at her sides struggling for air, I made my way into the back and just laid my head down.
After taking a few moments we began the short drive over to my house. I was happy she wasn't talking about the whole pony thing. To be honest I preferred not to talk about my feelings at the moment. Instead I turned my gaze to look outside as the sun began to hit some of the trees casting a small golden light. I often got up early since I had a zero hour at my school, but I rarely got to see the sun itself come up like this. Thats when I saw a shape out of the corner of my eye as we began to pass my old Middle School. It was small about the size of a dog and it was running into the trees.
Squinting my eyes a bit I looked at the shape closer. I saw what looked like a flash of blue. Odd. I wasn't aware of anything blue in our area and I was kind of curious as to what it might be. Granted it could be a hallucination due to my head trauma but, I've never had a hallucination before so the idea of confronting one could be very entertaining.
"Hey Liz, can you pull into the parking lot of the school? I think I saw something."
"Sure. Whatever you want pony-boy."
I'd make her pay for that one later. As I waited for the door to open I watched a bush twitch a bit. That was where the thing was probably hiding. Jumping out of the van I trotted over towards the bush. Liz ran to catch up to me. As we approached the bush I heard what sounded like some whimpering coming from within the bush.
I heard what sounded like a small gasp and then the bush violently shook and a large cream shape jumped out of the bush colliding into Liz, knocking her over. I looked over to see another pony furiously hugging Liz. I looked over this new pony. He had a light blue mane and tail similar in design to the OC of BronyDanceParty. His coat was a light cream color like mine only a little bit less yellow. I couldn't see his cutie mark as it was being obscured by a pair of cargo shorts with a hole cut in them to let the tail through.
Noticing that Liz was starting to have difficulty to breathing, I grabbed the strange pony by the ear and pulled him off Liz. It was then that he took note of me. He glanced over me for a few seconds with a look of shock, fear, and hope in his eyes. What was his deal? Was it the blood on my face? He finally seemed satisfied in believing I was a pony and turned back to Liz.
"Who is this," the mysterious stallion asked.
"I could ask you the same question" said Liz who had just now managed to sit back up and catch her breath.
"Oh, right," The stallion seemed to remember that it wasn't obvious anymore "it's me Sam."
Sam? He was one of my oldest friends but he wasn't exactly the most... accepting of people. He could be annoyingly stubborn at times and almost never took a joke the right way. He was also annoying in his views always contradicting himself, he said he was a Democrat, but he didn't like Obama; even though he had supported him in the election. He said he didn't like gay people, and then a month later denied having ever disliked them. He could just all in all, be quite the handful. Don't get me wrong, he was an okay guy a lot of the time but, I could only hang out with him for about an hour before I had a headache.
"Sam?" Liz said looking into his now sky blue eyes.
"Yeah, oh my god I was so worried. I woke up as this horrible creature and I ran out of the house. I knew you liked horses so I thought you might be able to help, in fact I was just on my way over. Who's this by the way," he said gesturing towards me with a hoof.
"Oh, thats N-"
"Nancy! I'm Nancy. One of Liz's... half sisters. I got turned into a pony as well." I said cutting Liz off abruptly.
She gave me a disappointed look. After introducing her to the show, Liz had become a very open brony while I on the other hand had tried to limit the number of people who knew. She had been trying to get me for months now to tell someone, but I had yet to work up the courage to really tell anyone. I wasn't sure why I had yet to tell anyone. Probably just the fear of losing friends I suppose. I looked away to avoid Liz's gaze but, I could still feel her eyes burning into my head.
"Hi Nancy, it's a pleasure to meet you. Are you okay? You have quite a bit of blood on your face," Sam said completely oblivious to the stares between me and Liz.
"What? Oh, yeah. I'm totally fine."
"If you say so. Do you by any chance know what's happened to us?"
"I just woke up as Apple Fritter thats all I really know. Liz and I were planning on heading out of town to a field or something to set up camp." I replied. I saw Liz give me a look saying we would talk about this later before turning back to Sam. He looked at me somewhat puzzled before I clarified "Apple Fritter is the name of this pony." Ha, seeing someone facehoof is even more funny in real life. I heard him mumble something about 'stupid kids show' or something but, thats his problem.
"Would you like to join us? We were just on our way to get some supplies."
Sam seemed to think it over for a second before nodding. As we walked back to the car, Sam began discussing with Liz what all we would probably need for the trip. Being a Boy Scout, Sam had a lot of camping gear and camping food already ready to go all we needed to do was get it from his house. I was bit too tired to join in so I just sat in the back just watching outside. We drove a block or two until we reached his house. They both decided to head in while I opted to stay in the car. I really just needed a little bit of time to myself to think things over anyway. I curled up in the back of the van and lied my head on my forehooves.
I tried to keep myself busy with my thoughts, but I realized that I had only gotten about an hour two of sleep in and I felt my eyelids start to get heavy. Deciding I might as well try to get some sleep I closed my eyelids and entered a dreamless sleep.
--- I am a Page Break. Ignore Me---
It felt like only a few moments passed before I was awoken by the sound of the trunk of the van opening. Startled I jumped onto all fours and found Sam pushing in several large bags smelling of smoke and grass. Grumbling to myself I hopped out and trotted over to Liz.
"Hey, would you mind if we maybe got some things from my house?"
Liz looked down at me and sighed a bit.
"You know, that will probably make Sam curious. Are you sure you want to go? You could always just tell him..."
"No! Look say, I don't know that I have some electronics that we might need."
"For camping?"
"Just get in the van."
Smiling to herself Liz walked back to the van and hopped inside. I jumped into the back and settled in as Liz came up with some weird excuse to Sam. As we drove back to my house I realized I was going to have to tell my parents something or else they might think I had been kidnapped or run away. I would just have Liz send them a text with my phone later. As we pulled into the driveway I took note that luckily all of the lights in the house were still out. As the three of us got out of the car I realized it would be hard to explain to Sam how I knew where everything was in a 'strangers' house.
"Hey, Sam. You went last time. How about me and Liz get this one?"
"Fine by me, I'm just glad Noah won't see me in this girly body."
Oh Sam if only you knew. We walked into the backyard and reached the door. Deciding it would be quicker if someone with hands went in I told her where everything was and watched her disappear inside. I sat there and began waiting for her to return. I suppose now was as good as time as any to engage in a conversation with myself to try and sort through all of this.
Any deep thoughts brain?
Our butt is cold and wet and I hurt like hell.
Right, once again you've been completely useless. Thanks for nothing.
Liz was starting to take a really long time. I was beginning to worry that something had happened when I heard a shout from inside and saw Liz come running out of the house with my computer bag in tow.
"RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN," Was all she said as she ran past me.
I decided I might as well join her and I ran after her as she passed through the gate. I lost my footing for a second as I tripped in some gravel and saw a porcelain cup shatter next to my face. Okay, time to get OUT of here. I ran to the driveway and flung myself in as we sped off. I immediately asked the big question.
"What exactly happened in there?"
"You have some really crazy cats, you know that?"
"Wait what do you mean? Are your cats with Noah's?" I looked over we had both almost forgotten Sam.
Merde. Merde. Merde. Think of something!
"Yes."
Great job there buddy. I was starting to feel a bit light headed probably form this whole crazy ordeal. He turned back to look at me when his eyes got really big. He began moving his mouth up and down trying to say something. What was his problem?
"Hey, Nancy. You seem to be bleeding an awful lot. We should get you to the... vet I guess?"
I lifted a hoof up to my face and pulled it away seeing a somewhat substantial amount of blood. I probably should go to the hospital. When that porcelain cup shattered next to me some of it must of have cut across my face. Of course if we went to the vet then we would have to explain how I wasn't an alien and was actually just a pony... I couldn't see something like that ending well.
"Couldn't you... I don't know wrap some bandages around my head or something? You said you were a Boy Scout right?"
"What, no I didn't. How do you know?"
"Um... Look my heads bleeding can you help or not?"
"Well yeah, but not with these useless hooves. I guess I could walk Liz through the steps though."
"That works. Liz! Pull over!"
We pulled over to the side of the road and Sam began walking Liz through the steps. They spent what felt like year bandaging each of the cuts and each time they said they were finished they spotted a new one. I tried to reassure them that I was fine, but they wouldn't hear it. SIghing I sat down and took out my phone. After several minutes of struggling I managed to find out that although infuriatingly slow, I could use my muzzle to manipulate the phone. Sam luckily didn't seem to notice that Nancy and Noah shared the same exact phone as I scrolled over to my unread messages. 23 unread messages from my mom and dad and 16 missed calls. Hm... It seems they would want to talk to me.
I considered calling them for a moment to tell them everything was okay before I realized that my voice had changed. Sighing I realized I had no other choice but to simply text them. But what was I supposed to tell them? I thought for a minute before I began typing.
Hey Mom, Dad. Sorry about not being home right now. Something came up. I am safe and I am with Liz and another friend. Please don't worry about me. I will try to return home as soon as I can.
Somewhat happy with the results, I hit send right as a pale blue pickup truck stopped a few feet in front of us. Giving Liz a look and then nodding my head towards the truck we all began to hastily make our way back to the van. Thats when from behind me I heard what sounded like a gun cocking and the voice of a deep man with a somewhat thick Missouri drawl.
"Turn around slowly or I'll blow your f***ing alien brains out."
Merde.
Giving Yourself a Concussion: A How to Guide
Day 7
Saturday
About 4:50 AM
A large crash from downstairs awoke me with a start. My eyes shot open and I attempted to blink away the sleep which, to be quite honest I never understood, it just ended up falling into your eyes and making the start of your day that much more difficult. Alas, I wasn't thinking clearly and so inevitably the sleep fell into my eyes making me wince in pain. I rubbed my elbow against my eyes furiously for a few moments to no avail.
Giving up I decided I had to sit up and go with a more fine tuned approach. Once I was reclined I moved my hand up to my eye and promptly ended up nearly blinding myself. Letting out a whispered curse I looked to my hand to see why it had decided to blind me. I was met with a large mass of a yellowish-cream object in front of my face.
Wow.
Still a bit tired.
Right, why was I up again? Ah yes, the crash! No doubt it was one of my three cats walking along the counter. They had a habit of walking along the counter and sticking their heads into any stray cups they found and knocking them over. It sounded like glass though, which meant I probably had to go clean it up so they wouldn't cut themselves. Yeah, I could let my father take care of it but he had mowed the lawn yesterday so I guess I sort of "owed" it to him.
Pulling myself out of bed I dropped my feet to the floor and immediately fell down. My momentum hurled me into the corner post of my bunk bed. Luckily, I didn't have to worry about waking anybody up. My brother and I haven’t shared a room for several years. I switched bunks to get some variety and... OW... That hurt a LOT!
Letting out another string of flamboyantly colorful words I tried getting up only to stumble and feel myself bang my head onto my dresser. The wooden corner of the open drawer caught me on the nose and caused it to bleed a little. Once again momentarily, blinded by the pain, I had a few moments to collect my thoughts. Unfortunately, this early in the morning and with the pain in my head, all I could manage to remark upon were the facts that I hadn't woken anyone up and that I should probably clean the pile of dirty laundry that my nose is currently bleeding into.
"Blegh", was what came out of my mouth. In a voice that was higher than I was used to.
After contemplating the possible reasons behind my voice being so high, I came to the conclusion that it was probably sore or it was once again the work of the dreaded puberty. Here I thought I was done, but noooo…. Life wouldn't be content with me singing bass two.
My vision recovering, I opened my eyes to see a mass of green hair in front of my face. This is what I get for trying to dye my blonde hair dark blue for my Halloween costume I suppose. I had tried to explain to my friends that when you dye a blonde person’s hair a dark color, it washes out green. But no, I just had to dye my hair or else the costumes “wouldn't” make sense. I'm sure Soarin dyed his hair sometimes so I didn't see why I had to dye mine so I could be him. I could of have of been Surprise. Awesome. Now I think of that. Great! Just great. My day was off to a wonderful start then. Anything else want to try and take a shot at my head? Hmmm…? I'm watching you desk! Yeah, that’s what I thought.
I decided to examine what had been causing me so much trouble. I looked down at my arm and discovered that the mass of yellowish-cream was still there. Letting out a small yelp in my annoying voice, I promptly jumped back and hit my head against my metallic bed. Muttering under my breath a French curse I decided it might be best if I just didn't move my body while I took a closer look at it. I slowly opened an eye and examined the appendage. The fingers appeared to be missing and it was far shorter than it normally would be. Strange. Looking behind me in the faint light from the street I could just barely make out that the same went for my legs.
My brain decided to start working again and I made the connection. Hooves! Small hooves and a small body. Small body with hooves equals horse right? No wait… a pony? Which equals what? Ugh! Stupid brain! Don't shut back down! Fine, I don't need you anyways. Standing myself back up, I took a look at my forehoof again. I noticed what appeared to be fuzz along the entire length of it as well as my other hooves. Curious, I lifted up another forehoof to feel the appendage and lost my balance landing into my dresser again. At least it wasn't the desk. That's right; I still have my eye on you! Deciding it was time for me to end the fan fiction stereotypes; I stood up and remembered the footing combo. Right front, back left, left front back left. Yes!
Walking over to my door I used my front two hooves to lean my body up as I grabbed the handle in my mouth. I attempted to open it when I remembered that I locked my door. Letting out an Arabian curse word or two, I realized I had been using the handle to steady myself, and I'd just let go of it... thus seeing its opportunity, my desk decided it was time to strike. I fell back, and before the rest of the Arabic could leave my mouth, the back of my head hit the corner of the desk knocking notebooks, pencils, and textbooks onto my nose. My VERY sensitive nose. Why had I chosen all of the classes with the heavy textbooks?! Yelping in pain I heard a grumble from my parents’ room as what sounded like my dad got up and started walking towards my room. No! Think, think! What do I do? What do I do? Rush past him! Of course!
I heard the handle of the door jiggle as the key slid in and I prepared my jump. The second the door opened I jumped out of my room and made a sharp turn over to the staircase. I managed to get about halfway down the steps before I tripped and slid down the stairs onto the landing where I collided with a marble cherub we keep at the bottom for who knows what reason. Letting the adrenaline fuel me, I blindly made my way down the last few steps just barely missing the lamp at the bottom. From upstairs I heard my father mutter something about crazy cats as he was heading back to bed. Ha! Yes! Success! Ow. Ow. Owowowowoowwowowowowowowowow.
I decided that it would probably be best if I just hurried out of my house before my parents woke up. It wasn't that they hated ponies or anything. They had actually supported me whole heartedly when I had told them about being a brony. It's just that they were TOO supportive. I know that seems like a stupid reason not to tell them what had happened to me, but it was true. I was expecting some sort of giant conflict when I told them. Instead it was more of just a “oh that’s cool we totally still love and support you”. So I decided I would have to go to someone else who knew about me liking ponies. Well that left it down to my best friend Liz or my ex girlfriend... Hmmm... Decisions, decisions... Liz it is then!
Picking myself up, I grabbed my phone from the coffee table which I had left there for who knows for what reasons. I nudged the button with my muzzle and then attempted to use my phone with my hoof. After several failed attempts sighing, I thought that a pencil might work, but after trying futilely for several minutes I had no results to show for my endless jabbing. . Sighing I decided I would just have to make the short walk over to her place. I put the phone in a reusable grocery bag that I then swung around my neck.
I should really take a gift with me over to Liz since it was kind of early to be waking her up. I didn't really have anything to give her though... wait. Stupid brain! Why would I take her a gift? These repeated blows to the head must be starting to get to me.
Right, what did they do next in the stories? Right! Food! Using a chair to hoist myself onto the counter I made my way over to the fruit bowl to see what goodies I would be getting. I was met with a fruit fly flying out from underneath a lone moldy orange and flying into my eye. Surprised, I stepped back and fell over the edge of the counter hitting my head on the marble below. I was really angry now and in a lot of pain. Letting out my signature string of Swedish curse words, I picked myself up off the floor holding back tears.
I heard another loud curse meet mine from upstairs and heard my father start stomping down the stairs. Merde! Merde! Merde! I ran over to the sliding glass door which led to the back porch. I used my muzzle to lift the black lever, locking it. I then grabbed the handle in my mouth (which might I add according to my taste buds, seemed to have NEVER been cleaned), pulled back and ran outside right as my father turned on the lights to the kitchen.
Running out and into the yard I jumped up and hit my head against the black handle to the gate. Ha! Yes! Freedom! Nothing could stop me now! I was on top of the world! And I was a pony! Which, I assumed was only temporary. This is quite possibly one of the greatest days ever! I began running along out of my neighborhood. HA! I've never gone so fast in my life! The night made everything nice and dark, but the occasional light from the street lamps gave just enough light that it added an edge of excitement to the whole situation. I felt truly alive with the wind rushing through my long hair... this was just amazing.
This new rush of energy managed to carry me halfway to Liz's house before I tripped and face planted. I’m still new at this. Not able to run yet. I could trot though! Now where was I... ah yes! Going to Liz! I began to laugh in ecstasy before I felt a major headache hit me. Ow! Okay no laughing.
