Creepy ponies

Ben was sitting on a random bench with two other ponies. He would've been in the library listening to his Ipod that he always had in his pocket, but Twilight had told him that he needed fresh air. He looked over at the ponies he was sharing a bench with. One was the gray cross-eyed pony he'd seen on the first day they came here. She was chewing on a muffin wrapper while holding the muffin in her hooves. With a little more derp and a dash of stupidity, she could be just like Jeff. Ben thought. The other pony was a yellow earth pony with a curly orange mane. She was looking at the pegasus next to her with an annoyed stare.

"Derpy, you're supposed to eat the muffin." She said.

"I am. I'm getting extra crumbs off of the wrapper so I don't miss any of it." Derpy replied, her eyes derping even more.

The other pony sighed. "Honestly, Derpy. I think you like those things a little too much."

Derpy smiled wider. "You like carrots too much."

Ben watched their argument in amusement. It reminded him of his arguments with Jeff.

"Carrots are my special talent, Derpy." The other pony responded. "There's a difference."

Derpy seemed oblivious to what the pony had said. she was balancing her muffin on her tongue, and doing a surprisingly good job at it.

The other pony just sighed and looked away.

Ben would've watched longer, if it wasn't for somepony calling his name. Before he could do anything to react, He was literally tackled to the ground by Jeff, who was covered in blood and had a few splinters. "What did you do?" Ben asked.

"I won." Jeff answered. "But, that's not important, look, I need you and Eyeless' help."

Ben was almost scared to ask. "With what exactly?"

"Timberwolves, Ben. They're coming in the hundreds, maybe thousands." Jeff whispered so none of the other ponies would hear.

"They're just wolves, I think you can-"

"They are not 'just wolves'!" Jeff, for the first time in Zalgo knows how long, looked panicked and scared. "They're made of Timberwood, Ben. The only way I beat them was by punching and kicking, and defying logic a little bit."

Ben couldn't believe a word he was hearing. Timberwolves made of timber wood. His day just got way more interesting. "Alright, but I'm not sure if I can help." Ben agreed to at least come along, He had to see this.

"You still have your secret Gameboy and your iPod, right?" Jeff asked.

Ben nodded, although the answer was obvious.

"Then you'll be able to do something, now, I'm gonna go get Jack. You wait for me at the Everfree and fight off any wolves brave enough to attack before I get there." Ben nodded and ran to the forest.

Jeff wished he had paid attention to where Jack said he'd lived, but sadly, he was too broke to pay attention. For all he knew, Jack could be anywhere. Ben can't fight them off, you know. A voice in Jeff's head told him. It made him stop what he was doing and freeze in fear. "You again." He said.

Yes, I bet you thought I'd never return.

"Go away, You'll only make murdering these things harder than it has to be."

You're the one making it harder than needed, Jeffery.

"No, I'm getting help to fight them off with." Jeff tried to defend himself. It was a futile effort.

The more time you waste finding Jack, the more likely Ben will be gutted and Ponyville will be invaded by timberwolves. The voice stated. Besides, what will Jack do to help, he has the strength of an earthworm, only 2 notches above Ben

"Look, there's more strength in numbers, okay."

How do you know that? In my opinion, three weaklings straying from their nest won't be able to make a dent in that number of wolves.

"We're not weaklings." Jeff growled.

Only weaklings fight battles they can't win.

"How do you know we won't win?" Jeff asked, wishing he could stab The Voice in it's face.

Jeffery, you must understand one thing. I am a spawn of Zalgo, one of his minions, I'm never wrong.

"Never wrong, huh?" A smirk crept onto Jeff's face. "What about that one time you told me the forest would burn down if I put Ticci Toby in the hospital again?"

You are wasting time, Jeffery. Ben could be dead now, you best hurry and get what help you need before it's too late.

"Oh, right." Jeff continued running frantically for Jack.

                                                                             ~~~

Ben was waiting at the edge of the forest waiting for Jeff. He could hear the growls of the wolves and he could see the green orbs that were their eyes. They could attack him at any second. If I die before Jeff gets here, it's all his fault. He thought. Of course, wasn't it already all his fault? Ben looked at the wolves more closely. They didn't seem to care for him. They were waiting for some other pony, listening for something. They didn't really seem to notice Ben.

                                                                                   ~~~

"So, How long until they mess something up and all the wolves destroy the pony town?" Watcher asked Rake rhetorically.

"I'd sssay, just wait until Jeff gets here."

"You didn't need to answer that." Watcher pointed out.

"Well, nothing is getting brutally murdered, so I'm bored." Rake answered.

"You watch people while they sleep."

"Sssleeping is more interesting than you think."

"You're crazy."

Rake rolled his eyes. "No, really. I thought Slender liked us for no reason."

"That was also rhetorical."

The conversation was interrupted by hoofsteps.

"Shh, they're coming."

                                                                             ~~~

  Jack was hovering in the air above Jeff.

"Are you sure all the kidneys won't fit in our pockets?" Jack asked.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "I don't even know if these things have kidneys. If they do, we'll try."

"Okay." Jack landed next to Ben. "So, nice weather we're having."

"Did he find where Ponyville keeps the alcohol?" Ben asked.

"No, I just told him an interesting story about what I think I saw in a cloud." Jeff answered.

"How did you look into a cloud?" Ben asked. "You're not a pegasus."

"In, not on."

"So, what did you see?"

"Well, I'm not really sure, but it looked like a factory where they kill ponies to make rainbows."

"Are you sure you weren't drunk?" Ben was looking at Jeff with an unamused expression.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I was sober." Jeff promised, doing the correct motions.

Okay, so he's drunk right now. Ben thought.

What did I just see? Jack thought, not surprised at all.

"Why are you guys staring at me like I just did something stupid?" Jeff asked.

"Because you did." Ben and Jack answered at the same time.

"Wait.." Jeff tried to put two and two together, and failed miserably when he saw his surroundings. "They're about to slaughter us."

"What are you-" Ben had no reason to finish his sentence. He looked around. They were completely surrounded by Timberwolves. "Are we dead?"

"You are." Jeff answered.

"So, you're gonna leave me for dead?"

"What, no. You drowned, remember?"

"No, when did that happen?" Ben said sarcastically.

"When you were 16." Jeff said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Can you stop saying things we already know and start murdering these wolves some more?"

"I would." Jeff said. "But.."

"But what? We could all be brutally gutted and murdered by wolves." Ben glared at Jeff. "What's so bad that you can't start killing them again?"

"Well, for starters." Jeff had a very serious and annoyed look on his face. "My hooves are tired, I killed the manticore already, I'm bored, I'm hungry, I'm lazy, I stepped in a puddle on the way here, I only ate 20 trays of bagels today, I haven't killed any of the same species in forever, I don't have a job." Jeff paused to catch his breath. "And I thought you two could be bait."

"First of all, 90% of those reasons had nothing to do with what's going on at all."  Ben took a few steps closer to Jeff. "And if you try to make us bait we'll leave you for dead here."

"And?" Jeff tilted his head. "I'm Jeff, don't question me."

"Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it." Jeff and Ben were almost nose to nose by now. "Now run mindlessly into that crowd of wolves and hope none of them actually have a brain." Ben shoved Jeff closer to the advancing Timberwolves.

"So, sacrifice myself for my friends safety?"

Ben and Jack nodded.

"Hmm..Nah." Jeff waved a hoof nonchalantly in the air. "I'd rather stay alive and have you two die."

Ben facehoofed. "All of us will die if you don't do something."

One of the timberwolves jumped at Ben. Jeff kicked it away back into the crowd. "That's something." He said. "Happy now?"

"Can you two stop arguing for 2 minutes and actually do something productive for once?" Jack was hovering above them. "I really don't wanna watch you two die yet."

"Alright, I'll kill the timber-Wait, what do you mean 'yet'?" Jeff glared up at Jack. "Are you saying I'm gonna die?"

Jack sighed. "Even you're not immortal, Jeff."

"I am, technically." Ben said, raising a hoof.

Both ponies looked at him quizzically.

"I already died, remember?" Ben told them.

"But you could still die." Jeff said.

"Not of old age." Ben pointed out.

"Both of you stop arguing and start trying to stay alive." Jack's forearms were crossed.

"Okay, fine." Jeff turned to face the crowd of wolves. "Hey timberwolves, I'm made of meat and pixie dust!"

                                                                        ~~~

"And then I went up to the last one left and karate chopped it in half." Jeff concluded his story. They were walking back into town, all three covered in splinters.

Ben rolled his eyes. "We know, it happened 2 minutes ago."

"Well, I need something to talk about that has something to do with how awesome I am."

"If you two start arguing again I'll drop kidneys on your heads." Jack threatened. "That's the 5th time since we started walking."

"Sorry." They both said at the same time.

"Hey, Ben." Jeff nudged him slightly.

"What?"

"Blood is 95% water."

Ben froze dead in his tracks. The scream was heard all throughout Ponyville.