The Adventures of Ball-point

by Lonelydarkness

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2981

Meet the greatest artist in all Equestria, Ball-point!

Ball-point is the best artist in all Equestria… in fact he is so good that he is literally "The Royal Artist of Canterlot". He is a humble pony, but he has quite a head on his shoulders.
This is his story, following the "A Canterlot Wedding" plot forward. See how he will interact with the "Mane 6", and all the other ponies!
(This storyline is all cannon before "A Canterlot Wedding", so I decided to skip to the juicy bits.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-04 20:20:02 UTC

Saucy Suspicions

The Adventures of Ball-point

Chapter One: Saucy Suspicions

        I woke to the regular, groggy and bleary-eyed morning. I’d heard that if you really want to, then you can face any morning with “pep in your step,” but I don’t believe a word of it.

        The heavy downy blanket locked my body heat inside, protecting me from the cold room. My eyes opened moments before the annoying clock could ring, and my hoof hovered over the clapper. Just as the clapper began to ring, I brought my hoof down swiftly, silencing its annoying chime.

        I filled my somewhat long horn with my mental focus, allowing me to move my blanket without moving myself. I crumpled it carelessly at the foot of my bed (as usual), and slowly lifted myself to my hooves. The soft bed still radiated comforting warmth, calling me to sleep, but I had a job to do (unfortunately).

        I stepped onto my hardwood bedroom floor, with a loud clop, and looked around the modest room. Scattered all across were drawings, sketches, doodles, paintings, manuscripts, and basically a little of anything else you could find on a piece of paper or canvass.

        Simple wooden furniture and a wide assortment of tables were buried, all save for one. At the far end of the rectangular room, was a simple mahogany desk, with a comfy-looking, desk chair under it. On the other side of the door opposite the desk was the rest of the “modest” house in Canterlot.

        In truth, the only room in the house that was simple was my bedroom, the rest being the classic white marble of Canterlot nobility (a bit too gaudy for my tastes). My being the Royal Artist of Canterlot does not mean I have no appreciation for the simple things.

        I slowly walked to the small door from my room to the opulent landing, with several rooms branching off on the right side. Over the handrail was an excellent view of the ornate foyer, which is so intricate that it would take an hour to describe (so I’ll leave it to you to have your imagination run wild (think along the lines of the Royal Palace, but smaller)).

        I slowly made it to my large bathroom to attend to my daily grooming. Upon opening the white wooden door, I saw a gorgeous stallion looking me right in the eyes. He had a light grey coat, and strikingly blue eyes. His mane was a shade, not unlike a mild wood varnish, and it was all combed over to cover his right eye (that meaning it was on my left side while looking at him). His tail was quite similar to his mane, but the tip was far darker, making it look as if he had used it as a paint brush. I flashed him my side, and he mimicked me, revealing his unique cutie mark. A simple scroll was emblazoned there, with a pencil and quill crossed over top (like a faux coat of arms).

        After playing with my reflection, I decided it would be a good idea to bathe, before anypony decided to sneak up on me and make a commission. One nice thing about getting to live so close to Canterlot castle was that I had a MASSIVE hot water tank (which is nice if you like long hot showers).

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        After getting out of the shower, I decided that I was quite hungry, meaning one thing, “Doughnut Joe,” I said to myself.

        I walked down the large spiral staircase to my living room/foyer. I looked around for my saddlebag, finding it oddly tucked under a couch cushion after a half hour search. “Just where I left it,” I said sheepishly to myself.

        I levitated it using my magic, and clipped it around the middle of my back.  I walked out and found the usual, lone guard posted outside my house. “Good morning sir, off to the Palace?” he asked in his usual, upbeat voice.

        “Yeah,” I said turning the key to my house “but first I’m headin’ to Doughnut Joe’s, and it’s my treat.”

        His stoic expression instantly melted into a huge smile. “Thanks man, I was wondering when we’d go there again, he’s awesome!”

        “I thought you were still on duty?” His smile instantly disappeared, and he began to sob, with obviously fake distress.

        “Oh woe is me! Had I but remembered my position, I may have spared myself the disappointment!”

        I laughed at his antics, “I’m bustin’ your balls, man! You’re such a ham, Flash.”

He laughed and lightly punched my shoulder, “Yeah, but you know me!” He said, striking an awkward pose. I laughed and replaced the key in my bag, heading down toward Doughnut Joe’s.

Being on the Royal Staff had its perks, like getting your own personal body guard from the Royal Guard! He’s called Flash Sentry, an average pegasus.

He had an orange creamsicle coat, and a dark, windswept, cerulean mane, and his tail was cut short and well groomed. He was only recently accepted into the Royal Guard, but he was very much like the other Royal Guards. The only real difference between him and the other Royal Guards was that he hadn’t been present for the Nightmare Moon event.

I was told to meet the princesses at the Royal Palace before noon, and it was only around 9, so I still had plenty of time to get there. I had heard rumors that the Capitan of the Royal Guard, Shining Armor, had gotten engaged, meaning that I was likely being called upon to depict the wedding… how touchy-feely.

My duty now however is to eat some breakfast. We strolled up to the doughnut shop in a reasonable time frame, and entered with a flair that could only be pulled off by someone as sarcastic as me.

“Kind doughnut vendor, I seek your various goods for sustenance!” I said using my Canterlot voice. Joe instantly turned toward me, at first frightened, but then he realized it was me.

“You gotta quit doing that to me! How do you even do that anyway?” the distraught vendor asked.

I snickered and used a snooty British accent “Because I am of high caliber, my good sir! Now, go and fetch for us some doughnuts, with sprinkles!” He rolled his eyes, and with a smirk, he began mulling about in the back of the shop for some doughnuts.

“You like messing with that guy too much!” Flash said, “He probably gets enough trouble from the Guard as it is!”

“At least they can’t scare the crap outta him with a Canterlot voice!” I said, laughing. He just snickered in response.

“All right, Ball-point, here’s your doughnuts,” he said, dropping a small paper bag onto the counter. “That’ll be 10 Bits.”

I smiled and levitated the bits out of my saddle bag and put them directly into the register. “Thanks Joe!” I said, smiling.

“Have a nice day.”

We walked out of the shop and sat at a small patio table with an umbrella, opening the small bag and greedily eyeing the contents. We split the half-dozen doughnuts equally and practically inhaled them.

“I friggin’ love these things!” I said, patting my stomach contentedly.

“Eeyup,” Flash said, nodding sleepily. I got up and nudged his shoulder, prompting him to follow me.

We headed off toward the Palace, still making excellent time, heading straight for the throne room. I was usually late for a scheduled commission, but it is my only real job to serve the princesses. We were unimpeded on our way there, but the castle itself had seriously beefed up security.

“Halt! State your names and purpose, or be escorted to the dungeons!” spoke an overly protective guard.

“Office of Royal Artist: Ball-point.”

“Royal Sentry to Official Royal Artist: Flash Sentry.”

The guard raised his spear, relaxing slightly. “You may pass.”

We walked across the drawing bridge and into the Palace, my only words being: “Dafaq?”

“We needed to beef security up for the wedding… among other things.”

“Those other things being?”

“Lol! I don’t know, they wouldn’t tell me!” he said, a stupid grin plastered across his face.

I let out a sigh and continued walking. Maybe I could get Luna to tell me what’s going on.

We entered the foyer and were met with the sight of several more guards, and a few mares I recognized instantly. “Rarity! It’s been so long, how are you?”

A stark white mare turned away from the group and looked in my direction. “Ball-point? Oh my, it has been too long!” she trotted over to me, “How have you been darling?”

“You know, just trying to keep the patrons away long enough to enjoy my work, and what of yourself? I haven’t seen you in so long, almost six months!” I said, wrapping her in a friendly embrace.

“Hey there, Rarity! Y’all didn’t tell us ya had such a handsome stallion friend here.” Came a southern drawl from the group.

She looked like quite the farm girl, flecks of dirt on her legs, dusty hooves, and a build that would put a Royal Guard to shame. Her mane and tail were a dirty blonde, and tied up at the ends. She wore a brown Stetson hat, keeping the sun off her freckled face, but somehow her green eyes still caught the light. “Glad to see you don’t remember me, Applejack.”

“Hey! Idon’trememberyou! Doyouknowmynametoo? I’llgiveyouonehint, it’sPinkiePie! Oohwait, thatwasn’tahint, Ijusttoldyou! MaybeIshould’veletyouanswerbeforeIgaveyouahint…” I didn’t understand a word she said, but maybe I shouldn’t have understood the poofy-haired, pink earth pony.

“Uum… Pinkie, I… I don’t think he understood a word you just said…” My eyes turned to a shy pegasus, with a butter-colored coat, and long, flowing, pink mane and tail. She hid one of her blue eyes under her mane, and turned the other to the floor.

“Pinkie! You need to slow down! Nobody can understand a word you’re saying!” This one was a bold, blue-coated pegasus with a… rainbow colored mane? Her purple eyes shone with power, competition, and loyalty.

“I just said that…” said Fluttershy.

“Sorry! I forgot to use the space bar!” Replied the pink pony, with a dopey grin.

Nobody seemed to understand what she said, or even acknowledge she said it. “What’s a ‘space bar’?” Flash asked.

I laughed and patted him on the back, “It’s best to not ask with Pinks.”

“Wait, I remember that Ball-point called me that when he sketched me for the window!”

“What in tarnation are you talkin’ about Pinkie?”

“Remember? After we beat Nightmare Moon, he sketched us off screen and made the window there too!”

“Well, I do remember gettin’ drawn, and I remember hearin’ ‘bout the window too… but where, or what in tarnation is ‘off screen’?”

“Didn’t I just say it’s better to not ask?” I said, laughing. Everypony else laughed too, except Applejack, who just looked confused.

“So what brings you here darling? Aren’t you usually locked away in your house, furiously scribbling on a piece of paper?” Rarity asked.

“Like you’re one to talk,” I said nudging her gently. “We are slaves to our craft!”

Rarity giggled slightly and nudged me back, a slight blush present. “You still haven’t answered my question yet, darling.”

“Well, I was summoned here yesterday via an invitation to the wedding. I’ll be a design consultant for…” I pulled the scroll from my saddle bag using my horn, “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Sounds foreign, where did Shining meet her anyway?”

“Oh, but didn’t you know, darling? That’s Princess Cadence! It looks like you haven’t met her yet, I mean really. She is quite beautiful, I feel honored to be able to design all the dresses!” Rarity spoke, eyes twinkling with admiration.

“Thanks, and you better do a good job of it too…” spoke a feminine voice, with an air of brutal intent.

I spun around to see a lone pink mare, with a multicolored pastel mane. I was a bit taller than her, but she was still a bit taller than the average pony.

“Oh your highness, I didn’t expect to see you here!” Rarity said, taking a bow. “I was just telling Ball-point here about you!”

“Y-yeah,” I said, bowing as well. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Yeah. So who are you, and why should I care?” she said, totally disinterested.

“Oh. Why your majesty, I am to be your official design consultant. On any matter of aesthetics, do not be afraid to consult me, I am here to serve!”

“Oh, coolio. So what do you think we should do here, hmm?” she asked, still disinterested.

“Well, I’d like to do a little bit of inquisition before I make any suggestions.” I lifted myself from my bow, smile concealing my screaming doubts. “How do you feel about an insect theme?”

Her eyes lit up and she smiled. “That sounds so…” she looked around the room, seeing the odd stares from the mares behind me. “Odd. I don’t think so,” She added quickly.

“So what did you have in mind? Red velvet, with hearts perhaps?” I said with a knowing smile

“Umm, sure,” she said with a nervous smile. “Do whatever, I don’t care.” She then turned and cantered away, sweat glistening on her forehead.

“Did you see that?” I whispered to Rarity.

“What exactly is it you said that made her nervous?”

“Have you ever heard of changelings?”

“WHAT?! You can’t be serious!” she whisper-shouted.

“Well, does she normally act like that?”

“Well, no… but a changeling? You should really keep those things to yourself.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE HER!” came a distraught voice. I recognized it quickly, placing it to the student of Celestia, Twilight Sparkle. She was stomping toward us, muttering to herself.

“Hello, Twilight. How have you been?” I asked, severely confused.

“Fi…” she paused, looking up at me. “Oh Ball-point! It’s been awhile, I haven’t seen you in a few weeks! I haven’t seen you since I stopped by here for one of my old tomes from the Canterlot Library. So did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yes, that book on the Dragoniquis was quite informative, I’ll have to show you my depictions sometime. I spent a long time working on it.” She smiled and nodded, turning to the other mares behind me.

“Y’all here ta spread more doom an’ gloom ‘bout the princess?” Applejack asked, rolling her eyes.

“Just because I know something’s wrong and you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!”

“Maybe you’re just mad that you didn’t get a say in the matter…” Fluttershy suggested.

“Yeah, lay off her Twilight, seriously.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Girls! No need to get nasty, let’s just keep our opinions to ourselves.” Rarity said, directing the last part to me.

“I concur, there is no need to argue in such a fashion. I’ll talk some sense into Twilight, as the princess just basically gave me free range over the party planning.” I said, pulling Twilight off to the side.

Rarity was suspicious at first, but eventually she agreed to let me go. After some superficial talk, I decided to start with my accusations when the others left.

“What would you say if I told you that Cadence is a changeling?”

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After some heated discussion, we decided that Cadence was definitely an imposter (arguably a changeling). Twilight proposed that we go to Celestia, but we would need proof beforehand. Twilight proposed that we use a truth spell, but I suggested an illusion disrupter would be better.

Eventually we decided to use the illusion disrupter during the dress-rehearsal. I told her how to use the spell, and she practiced it, while I returned to preparations to avoid suspicion.

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        “Ball-point, darling, do you really think that all this black would be appropriate for a wedding?” Rarity asked, grimacing.

        “Black is slimming, and beside the point, Cadence made me official wedding planner. She told me she loves to wear black anyway.”

        Rarity looked very shocked, and slightly appalled. “How dreadful!” she said, putting her hoof delicately across her forehead. “A princess wearing black? I’ve never heard of such a thing!”

        “Well, at least you look good in black. It compliments your coat so well, your features just pop in it!”

        Rarity just blushed and deflected my compliment with the wave of a hoof. “Oh, stop it. You’re making me blush darling!”

        “A continence of beauty incarnate! Elegance is too mild a term for you, my dear.” I said, running my hoof under her chin, pulling her gaze towards me. A sly smile crept onto my face, warmth spread across my cheeks.

        Her face blushed furiously, eyes locked with mine. “Th-thank you…” she said, words trailing off into nothing.

        “I always appreciate beauty wherever it lies.”

        “…” she stood silently, looking into my eyes, a hint of want in her eyes. I removed my hoof from her chin, my smile growing slightly larger before disappearing.

        “Come, we both have jobs to attend to… we can whisper sweet nothings to each other afterwards.”

        “I…!”she said, her face now crimson red, contrasting strongly with her blindingly white coat. I just smiled and absently fussed with the curtains.

        We went about our separate ways and prepared for the wedding in our own ways (I should get to have a little fun… right? (Right?!)). I met up with Twilight, who was still practicing her spell for the rehearsal.

        “So have you got it down yet?” I asked, seeing several different fruits changing shape and color randomly.

        “I think so, I can make these enchanted rocks go back to normal for a good hour at a time now,” she said, making one of the odd fruits levitate and turn into a rock in front of her.

        “Excellent… now we’re ready for tomorrow afternoon.” I said, stamping my hoof firmly down.