Rarity? Rarity? Rarity? Rarity? Rariteeeeee?
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Ghost Nappa Haunts a Unicorn
Rarity? Rarity? Rarity? Rarity? Rariteeeeee?
It was yet another fine day in Ponyville. The sky was clear, birds were singing, foals were out playing. Everything was absolutely perfect.
This perfection was currently being admired by a certain alabaster unicorn from her workroom window. She gently stroked her cat, Opalescence, who was being pleasantly cooperative today.
"Tell me Opal, what do you think I should do on such a wonderful day? It would seem like such a waste to spend it cooped up in here.”
She looked back to the patterns that had yet to be cut, dresses that had to be sewn, gowns that needed to be pressed, and a whole assortment of things that only a dressmaker could identify.
“Well, I suppose visiting a friend couldn’t possibly hurt, after all-”
Vegeeeta?
The unicorn eyes widened as she was overcome by shock. She glanced around the room and checked under a few things before taking a step back.
“I could have sworn I heard somepony…” she said just before shrugging.
“Perhaps I am a bit too overworked. I’m starting to hear-”
Hey are you a pony? Oh, are you a talking pony?
She was on alert now. Somepony was definitely here. “Who’s there?! I know I’m not imagining things, now come out!”
Well, someone seems a bit grouchy
Putting on the most menacing face she could, without causing any wrinkles of course, “I’M SERIOUS!”
You know, you won’t find me anywhere.
“Oh, and why exactly wouldn’t I?”
Cause I’m a ghost from another planet. Boo.
Rarity opened her mouth, then closed it. Then opened, then closed. Rinse and repeat a few more times.
She considered what this voice was claiming itself to be. Then considered that the world she lived which had Manticores, Timberwolves, Sassquashes, Changelings, and a large assortment of other things. Maybe ghosts weren’t too far out there.
Hey pony, did you forget how to breathe? ‘Cause it’s real easy you know.
Rarity took a breath as she mentally prepared herself for what she was about to do. “No, I did not forget how to breathe, but I thank you for your concern. May I ask who it is I have the pleasure of speaking with?”
I am Nappa
“Nice to meet you mister, Nappa. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?”
I’m a Saiyan from Planet Vegeta. Oh have you seen Vegeta?
“I’m afraid I haven’t, do you think you could describe him for me? Or perhaps what you were doing when you last saw him?”
Well, he’s short, real spiky hair, very very angry, and he likes killing things. The last thing we were doing was killing a bunch of guys to get some Dragonballs so we could make a wish and get some panties. Or was it pandas?
Rarity’s eyes were wide in panic now. She wasn’t sure what to do at this point. Apparently she had a murderous, probably perverted ghost stuck in her head. Either that or she had an absolutely insane, probably perverted ghost stuck in her head.
Hey pony, why’s there a lump on your head? Did you get it from hitting your head on a wall or something? ‘Cause Vegeta has those too sometimes.
This was no time to panic. She had to stay calm, after all she had no idea what this, thing, could do. Ghost or not. Perhaps Twilight would be able to provide her with assistance. She walked towards the door whilst grabbing her coat in her magic.
Whoa! Your lump lit up! Whoa! Those things are floating! Are you doing that pony? Are you a maaagic pony?
Rarity huffed. “First of all, my name is Rarity and that ‘lump’ is a horn. Yes, I am causing these items to float. And finally, I am a unicorn, good sir.”
Alright. Hi Rarity. Are we goin’ out or something?
That was easier than she thought. “And if you must know, we are going to visit a friend of mine. She may be able to help you find this ‘Vegeta’.”
OOOOOOHHHH!!!! Does that mean we get to see more ponies?
“... Yes.” What kind of ghost is this?
The market was the fastest way to the library, but all things considered, it may not have been the safest. So she took used the side streets and backroads to get to Golden Oaks. It should have been straightforward, unfortunately there had been one thing that was biting at her as she snuck around.
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“No.”
Are we there yet?
“I SAID NO!!!”
Of course, as fate would have it, Junebug just so happened to be on the very same street Rarity was on when she lost it. She looked at the haggard looking dressmaker with concern.
“Uhm, are you okay, Rarity?”
She gave an awkward smile in return. “I’m fine, thank you Junebug. I suppose I’m just a bit worn out. I’ve got quite an order on my hands. I see your wearing the dress you ordered yesterday.”
“Oh, yeah! Thanks again by the way. I love what you did with the sequins.”
“It’s no problem darling, always happy to please a customer.”
With that they parted ways. As soon as Junebug left the immediate area, Nappa spoke up.
Man, I hate awkward silences.
“Will you be quiet!” Rarity’s left eye twitched.
Hey, if that pony was wearing clothes does that mean that you’ve been naked this whole time?
She really had no idea how to react this time. True, that was a point she had always wanted to address in regards to their social etiquette, but frankly, she had bigger problems on her plate right now. So instead she decide to keep sneaking on to Twilight’s.
Hey we’re moving again! Are we going to friend’s place now?
Rarity?
Rarity?
Rarity?
Rarity?
Rariteee?
Rarity felt like pulling her mane straight off her head now. And considering who this was, that was saying something.
It had taken a while, possibly longer. Rarity really couldn’t tell anymore. Not with all the-
Are we there yet?
“YES!”
A thud and footsteps were heard from the library. In no time at all the door was opened by a very excited young dragon.
“Hey Rarity!” he greeted, “Everything okay out there?”
“Yes, Spike, everything is fine, though might I-”
GAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSPPPPPP! Another Pokemon!
“speak to Twilight. If you don’t mind of course.” She struggled to maintain a calm friendly demeanor. Unfortunately her facade was betrayed by her twitching eye and mouth.
“Sure, she’s in the basement. Go right ahead.”
“Thank you, darling.”
Darn! I don’t have anymore Pokeballs, I used the last one on Earth.
Rarity really couldn’t care less at this point, so she went straight for the basement. When she got there she saw-
Hey! A purple pony! That one looks weird.
Twilight, diligently going over what looked like a chemical experiment. She approached the purple mare and-
Oooooo, is that pony doing science?
immediately dropped to the ground and grabbed her friend’s fetlocks.
“TWILIGHT!” she began in an exaggerated, thought justified, voice, “You have to help me! I am being haunted by an insane ghost called Nappa that simply will not SHUT UP!”
Twilight was taken aback by her friends sudden arrival and outburst. She lifted-
Hey, I thought you said she could help me find Vegeta?
her friend back to her hooves and looked her in the eye.
“Rarity, did you just say you were being haunted?”
Rarity was very clearly desperate. “YEHEHEHESSSSS!!! Please, you have to help me Twilight.”
“Well, I can try something.” Twilight lit her horn and a horizontal-
Hey that pony’s lump light’s up too!
beam emerged that promptly went over Rarity.
“Well, I’m not detecting any spirits, poltergeist, apparitions, or any of the like.” said Twilight.
I dunno what she’s talking about. I’m right here.
Rarity was on the verge of breaking now. “Is… Isn’t there anything else you can do?”
Twilight considered, “Well, I could try this.”
A flash of light consumed the room. Rarity opened her eyes and waited. Nothing. Silence. Sweet sweet silence. She gave a sigh of absolute ecstacy.
“Thank you so much Twilight, why I simply don’t know how to repay you.”
Twilight smiled at her friend. “It’s fine Rarity. No problem at all.”
“No, that simply won’t do. I’ll figure out someway to repay you, but for now, I have an order to accomplish. Ta darling!”
After she left Spike approached Twilight.
“So what spell did you cast, Twilight?” inquired the assistant.
Twilight smiled once more, “Nothing but a simple restorations spell. I usually use it when I need to get some studying done and it’s the middle of the night. I figured Rarity might’ve over worked herself again so I thought she’d need it.”
“Huh, guess it worked then.”
Rarity was looking over a pattern for a fine silk gown. She considered adding a bit more plumage to the back, after all that would greatly compliment the-
Hi Rarity!
The scream that day pierced the heavens.
Author's Note
This entire thing was done whilst sleep drunk.
