Erm... Hello? *Cricket* *Cricket*

"HELLO!? ANY ONE OUT THERE?!"

"Zie, No need to shout, they can hear you just find."

"Oh... Sorry Pinkie.."

"No Problem!"

"Mhm... Anyways... If your getting this recording, I need your help. You see, I'm stuck on this planet filled with talking Ponies. I'm not saying it's bad here, I just want to go home is all. My duty is-"

"Bwahaha! You said Dooty!"

"PINKIE!"

"Oh... Sorry!"

"Eh.... Anyways (again)... Let me tell you how I ended up here, as one of them..."

Many Months Earlier

"Ugh... My head...." I groaned, waking up from the worst slumber I had ever had.

Well not entirely the worst, because I fell asleep in a tree once when I ran away as a kid. Buuuut, Lucky me fell from 'said' tree, breaking my nose and several ribs. But hey, I got a really cool blue cast though!

I sat up the best I could, cracking my neck as I did so. Looking around, I could tell that I wasn't in my room. Unless my room grew trees during the night, and tombston- Wait... What!?

"AHH!!" I scurried away from the terrifying stone of death that I was using as a pillow, staring at it in horror.

'What was this? Why did I wake up here? Did I die!? AHHH! I'm a Zombie!'

Ok, I was overreacting inside my head. Plus I was hyperventilating, but wouldn't you do the same? (Fuck you who ever said no!)

I kept scurrying backwards until my head bumped into something hard... and stone-like. "Oh no..." I said, slowly turning my head towards the offending stone block behind me. And what do you know... Another tombstone...

This caused me to stand up on my two feet, only to become off balanced and fall on my face into the dirt.

'The fuck? Why was it so hard to stand!?' I asked myself inside my noggin, while 'said' face was still planted in the dirt. This dirt tasted like dirt by the way.

While my rump was still in the air, I turned my head, my right cheek resting on the dirt flavored dirt, to check out my feet. Except the feet that was suppose to be connected to a pair of very (very) hairy legs were gone. Instead was replaced with a pair of technicolor'ed black legs with a pair of the same colored black marshmallows as feet.

'Great! What could get any worst than this?' I thought. And just as that thought left my inner lips, something spoke.

"Nice ass..."

"Wha-?" I stood up on all fours in a hurry, before planting my rump right where my face was just seconds ago. I looked around to find where the voice had come from, but to my surprise, no one was there.

"Ok... Enough of this crazy shit! Wake up self! WAKE UP!" I was, as you can probably tell by now, freaking out. Here I was in the middle of a graveyard, with marshmallows for feet! Plus a voice from no where just said I had a 'NICE ASS!'. I don't know about you (Whoever you is?), but this is waaaay too freaky to be real. Right? Right...

"Oh Shush... No need for this ruckus, little pony" Said the voice. I could make out that it had to be female. Or this guy had a VERY feminine voice, which was quiet sexy by the way.

I closed my eyes by now, hoping that someway I could wake up, that this was only a dream. Then what he/she said hit me like a pile of rocks (Which hurt by the way!). "Pony? Whose a pony? Where's a Pony!?"  I said, Looking around for a cute little horse, hell, even a plushie from the 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' series!

Yes people, I am a Brony... I'm one of those grown adults who go down the terrifying (To Jocks, Mothers, and Goths, that is) pink isle in the toys section, and drool at the sight of the many ponies on the shelves. I read fanfics of the show, and will spend the rest of my life watching the show even when the series had ended. Because you know what? I can just care less about who said's it's wrong! Oh and by the way- Wait, wait... I'm ranting, sorry...

Anyway, when I saw that there was no Plushie, Toy, or Real Pony (*Sad Face here*), I pouted. "Your such a liar Missus Voice!" I told her, he, it... whatever.

"Liar? Why little Pony, Your the Pony" At what it said, my eyes grew huge.

"What? Me? A pony? Nahh..." I waved a hand in protest, before my eyes caught sight of a black marshmallow waving like I had my hand. A Hoof! My hand was a HOOF!!! It looked like a hoof, smelled like a hoof, and even tast-

"Ptewy!" Thats me spitting by the way, after just licking the black marshmallow hoof of mine. Ok I know, I know! Stupid of me to lick it. Of course it would taste like dirt, but how was I suppose to know!?..... Oh, shut up...

"Bwahaha! What you expect!? It tasted like black licorice?" Said the voice through he/she's laughing fit. I grumbled, placing the dirt flavored hoof back on the ground. I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn, was that anger or me blushing? Mabe both.

"Shut up! Who are you anyways....?" I asked, staring at the ground.

She snicker'ed some before answering my question (It's a she ok! so fuck that he/she crap!). "Heh~ Oh... no pony special, the names Chrysalis"

She sounded very close now, like very close. I looked up from the hole I had started digging from my stare in the dirt. There she was, sitting right across from me, The Cheese Queen herself, Chrysalis. She looked a bit roughed up, and her mane was more messy than on the show. She looked at me with pleading eyes, which kinda freaked me out. Hell, you have a villian look at you like she was now! I bet you'll piss your pants! (Joking, joking...)

"Human... I have brought you here for a reason" She said, still staring at me with those big green pleading eyes of hers. I stared back, with what ever colored eyes I had now. She seemed sad about something, but what?

"And that reason is?" I asked, taking the chance to look her over while she spoke.

"Well, you see... Many months ago, war had broke out in Equestria-" Wow, she had a LOT of holes in her body. "...Silver Star had tried to stop the human who was-" Even her hair had holes! I mean, they showed that in the show, yes. But, Damn! She is the cheese queen! "-And so, they entrusted me to call upon a hero to save this world... So that's why your here, Zie"

The sound of my name woke me from my, what I call it, 'The Not Listening to You' state. Was she saying something important? Nah... "Hm? What?" I shook my head, pretending I had just listened through what ever she was saying.

"Nothing..." She said with a sigh, before standing up. "Just follow me..." She started to walk, alone... into the grave yard.

Being the man- Pony I was, I did as she said, and followed her. Hey! I cant let a girl go into a creepy place alone!!!