Oh god, it's so boring around here... Nothing ever happens, and on the off chance that it does, Twilight and her gang of BFFs are quick to snuff out the light of excitement before it can even dawn. Equestria was pretty boss for the first few weeks, like a vacation from your dull life back on earth. However, it wasn't long before you came to find that dullness is entirely objective, and can rear its' ugly head almost anywhere, magical talking ponies or no. Sitting quietly on the couch in your house just as you've done for the past year or so, you try to come up with any feasible way of making something interesting happen. "I'm so fucking booooored..."
You are of course talking to yourself as you pout and throw your limbs about in childish tantrum, but it seems that some kind god heard your plea and decided to answer you. "If you're bored to such an extent, why not just liven things up, hmm?" A voice full of seductive playfulness rings out through your empty home from seemingly everywhere.
Assuming it's just more pony shenanigans, you can't work up the will to be too alarmed. "Easier said than done. Though perhaps I could get Pinkie to supply some more fireworks and cakes..." You chuckle to yourself as you recall the last time.
The voice chuckles along with you, apparently sharing your amused reverie. "While that would do the trick, it's still too soon, don't you think? Fun things are best when done on the spur of the moment and unexpectedly."
She's right of course, it's only been a week. The ponies are still trying to scrub the scorch marks and frosting off of their homes nearby. "Heh, Twilight had such a hissy that day... So what did you have in mind then?" The air vibrates with an amused titter before she responds.
"How about a game? I'll be hosting an event very soon, and the inhabitants of this world would be perfect for stirring things up a bit." A game could be fun, and listening to disembodied voices always leads to good things. Always.
"I may be interested, what's the plan?" Clapping reverberates from all around before being overcome by the sound of ripping fabric, as what can only be described as a tear in existence opens before you. A field of deep blackness extends further than you can see, broken only by countless glaring eyes inside this rip in space which is neatly tied off with small red ribbons. It's a gap.
"The plan is for you, and select others of this realm to be transported to the land of Gensokyo, where you will play a game of war for our mutual amusement. Would you like to play?" Neat. Though, should you really be the sole person to decide the fates of those around you so casually? To resign the ponies to something that will impact their very lives and the way they view the universe around them? Taking a glance through your window at the idle town that never changes, you quickly make up your mind.
"Hell yeah." What's Celestia gonna do, lecture you? You walk forward into the creeping darkness at the same time as it begins to widen to take in the room.
"Very well, I hope you have as much fun as I will~" With this last foreboding statement and a final chuckle, your senses become overwhelmed by the penetrating blackness.
Opening your heavy eyelids to the sound of an explosion, the rays of the setting sun greet your sight. Laying in the dirt beneath one of those red arch things that the Japs love so much, you slowly raise your body and take in your surroundings. Autumn leaves drift by lazily, coating the ground with the orange and gold of the season. You appear to be at a shrine, judging from the donation box that stands in front of the ancient building in front of you. It would bear a look of quiet dignity and grandeur, if not for the smoke slowly coiling upwards from the tiled roof. At your back is a long staircase that winds its' way through a dense forest. Turning to look down at the foliage and valley beneath, you see what appear to be falling stars that cascade downwards as far as you can see. They impact all across the land, leaving more smoke trails in their wake. A meteor shower over Gensokyo, it really is beautiful. A sudden boom and shockwave from behind almost sends you careening down the steps, but you manage to regain your balance.
"Oooow..." A pained, feminine groan comes from the crater that used to be a donation box, as a brown coin rolls past you. Making your way towards it, you see the ruffled gray feathers and dirty blond mane of Derpy Hooves. She rolls back and forth in the hole she created, with forehooves cradling her skull. A few burning paper bills that may once have been money float down around her gently in imitation of the falling leaves.
"Ya alright, Ditz?" She blinks a few times as she shakes her head, her eyes being in a different position each time they open. "That really hurt... " A feeling of concern for her well being washes over you, but is overcome by dread almost immediately. She just destroyed a part of the shrine. Reimu is going to kick her horsey teeth in. Before you have a chance to voice your fear, a slam from the main building draws your attention.
Looking up slowly, you cringe in dismay at the sight. "...Fuck." There she stands in her trademark red and white dress, one hand dragging an unconscious Colgate, and the other holding a fist full of vicious looking needles. Her head is tilted downwards, but you can make out an ominous red glow coming from shadowed eyes, set above a grim expression that contrasts harshly with her sunny yellow kerchief. Slowly raising an arm, you point to the mailmare beneath you with a trembling finger. "She did it."
You aren't sure if she took the time to so much as glance down at the pony you accused, as you're already running. "fuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCK" Not caring about what kind of damage it may cause to you, you dive down the stairs and begin to tumble. It hurts. Each step seems to add its' own agonizing note to the melody that was your idiotic escape plan. Still, what lies behind is so much worse. Or rather above. Or below, depending on the angle of your neck after each bounce and subsequent painful snapping noise. Barely registering something that shimmers in the air like a mirror, you hurtle through some hax boundary, before landing in a crumpled heap of bruises at the top of the stairs once more.
Light footfalls work their way over to you. They move slowly enough to get the message across that this may very well be the last sound you ever hear. This is a world of tangible gods, isn't it? So you pray weakly. "Help me... Based Kanako...." The footsteps stop. Risking a glance up, you see an angry red vein beginning to throb on the shrine maiden of paradises forehead. She apparently dropped Colgate unceremoniously behind her.
"Did you just... In my own shrine...? What are you going to do if she pokes her nose where it doesn't belong, eh?" You can't be blamed for this. It was out of your control.
"Well, I would pray to whatever god resides here, but... Who is it? Like, Mima or something?" The needles somehow grow in length and begin to faintly pulse with strange energy. "...No? Uh... Suika?" Apparently not, as she begins to stalk closer once more, radiating an aura of unavoidable death.
"Captain!" The wall eyed mare who was watching from afar bravely launches herself in front, adopting an aggressive posture. Yes, they call you Captain. Because who would stick with their real name when given the opportunity to change it?
Reimu halts once more, offering a confused look towards the bubbly little pony. "Did that thing just talk?" Pulling Derpy into your lap, you coo down to her. "You're so brave, standing up to this demon from the very depths of hell."
Both female parties look slightly miffed, one for being called a thing, the other for being called a demon. Or maybe she's on the rag, who knows. "U-uhm, I'm not a thi-"
"You and that thing have got guts calling me a demon from hell that's good for nothing but sleeping in and drinking tea without a care in the world... Unfortunately for you, the reality is so much worse." Sounding as though she's about to show you the truth(?) behind her statement as she cuts Derpy off, she glares at you ominously and takes another step closer. Yep, she's definitely on the rag.
"H-hey, I'm not a th-"
"Fuck off, Hakurei, she's my thing." Saying as much, you grip the adorable mare closer to your body as she radiates warmth from her rising blush, born first of annoyance, then shyness. "I'm not a...! ... I-I'm yours...?"
Reimu simply stares in disbelief at your crude language. "Excuse me!?"
Leaning down to bring your mouth next to Ditzy's ear, you whisper in a none too quiet fashion. "Everyone in Gensokyo is gay. You have to be careful, or they will all fall in lesbians with you." The pegasus nods slowly with an even fiercer blush as the red-white glares at you angrily. "EXCUSE ME!?"
A rip appears behind the fuming shrine maiden, and Yukari herself leans out to drape her body over Reimu's shoulder. With a face that's one part shit eating grin, and another bashful modesty, she lovingly rubs her cheek against Reimu's. "He's right, you know~"
Without even bothering to respond, Reimu violently tears the gap youkai from her void and hurls her over a shoulder to the ground. You can't help but clap at the display of a perfectly executed judo flip, as the mare in your lap looks on worriedly. "Is she... Going to be alright?"
Beginning to stomp repeatedly on the body at her feet, Reimu doesn't break eye contact with you, which is somehow even more terrifying. "You have 10 seconds to explain to me who you are, why you and your talking horses are here, AND WHY THERE'S NOTHING BUT A SMOKING HOLE IN THE GROUND WHERE MY OFFERING BOX USED TO BE!"
Shit, she mad. "I honestly have no idea where all this anger is comi-"
"5 seconds." Not wishing to actually provoke a beating from the girl who is almost half your size, as that would devastate your masculinity, you simply point to the somehow not dead Yukari under her foot.
Disappearing into a gap in the ground, the youkai reappears above us with a smile. She sits nonchalantly on her inter-dimensional transport as though she weren't getting curb stomped 2 seconds prior.
Finally looking away from you, the shrine maiden stares up at her with unveiled annoyance. "What did you do?"
The gap hag pulls a fan from a slip in space before putting it in front of her, effectively hiding her mocking smile. "Brought participants for another game of team battles~ I could tell that you were getting tired of doing nothing but sweeping leaves every day, and it has been a while since we've had an incident. And if you win, you get a wish granted~"
She lazily drops a letter through the air as Reimu gives off an annoyed sigh. "Please don't watch me sweeping leaves. Or doing anything. It's really creepy. As a matter of fact, please just stop breathing." Clearly stifling her laughter, the youkai simply vanishes without another word.
The pony in your lap leaps through the air to grab the letter before returning to your side with a victorious smile. Quickly opening it, she begins to read aloud. It went something like this.
- Choose a leader, and the team becomes an army.
- Anyone, human, youkai, or otherwise, can participate.
- Armies will have territories to be contested over.
The shrine maiden seems to droop further with each word, a look of complete dejection overcoming her features by the end. Placing a hand to her face, she mumbles under her breath about idiots wasting her precious time and worthless youkai.
"We get a wish granted, Captain! Want to... Be on my team...?" Looking at you with adorable apprehension, as though already tasting rejection, Derpy splays her ears across her tilted head as she asks with a slight frown.
Grinning brightly, you pat and tussle her mane before speaking in a tone of confidence. "Of course! You, me, Hakurei, and Colgate over there together? We're unstoppable!" Pointing to each individual as you say their name, you can't help but double take at the still unconscious Colgate. She's going to be trouble, you can tell. So lazy.
"Who says I want anything to do with this? Because of you all, I have to get a new donation box, AND fix a hole in my roof. That magician is going to be noisy and bothersome as well..." Staring at you with an unimpressed, almost resentful expression, Gensokyo's guardian thankfully slips her needles back into her shirt.
Fishing around in your pocket, you produce a bag full of shiny golden bits and retrieve one. Flipping it with your thumb towards the downcast shrine maiden, you watch her instantly snatch it out of the air. Got her, this battle is already won.
Inspecting it closely with an eye that speaks of distrust and accusation, she actually brings it to her mouth and bites down. Releasing it with a girlish squeal of joy, she looks back up at you with shining eyes and a wide smile. "I don't have much to offer, but would you and your horse care for some tea?" Looks like she's all fired up.
"Actually, I'm a pony..." The poor mailmare pouts adorably with a scrunched muzzle. They get vexed at being called horses, for some reason. Probably because horses are the dune coons of Equestria, living over in Saddle Arabia.
The red-white turns and makes her way back inside with a bounce in her step as she casually waves a hand over her shoulder. "Same thing~" You can't help but snicker as the pony's scowl deepens.
Standing and lifting Ditzy under one arm, you begin to follow Reimu into her abode. Leaning down as you pass the sleeping blue mare still on the ground, you grab a leg and drag her along as well.
*Hakurei Shrine Faction has been Formed!*
In the dense golden and burnt orange forest adjacent to the shrine, a certain firefly youkai is preparing for colder weather. "Alright everyone, there's some nice warm tree hollows over in this direction. Be sure to stock up on plenty of food and stay warm!"
Overseeing her tiny companions of multiple varieties as they scurry and fly amidst the trees, she smiles with all the warmth of a doting mother. For hers is a humble existence, with her own happiness directly correlating with the well being of her small friends.
"And remember to always keep one eye or antenna to the sky, don't let those nasty birds catch you!" Unbeknownst to her, two pairs of predatory eyes were also watching over the caravan of insects.
"It's just the natural order of things, nothing to be mean about~" A melodious and teasing voice floats down from the treetops, one that Wriggle Nightbug is all too familiar with.
"No kiddin, I don't want to hear a bug calling me nasty." And a seperate, gruffer voice that she doesn't recognize, but that seems to hold less playfulness, and more threat.
Following her own advice, the bug lantern youkai glances up towards the treetops to see two birds of prey staring back her back. The night sparrow, Mystia Lorelei, looks back down with amused eyes and a mischievous smile, her brown dress flapping gently in the wind. There was no danger from her, the two were old friends.
The same could not be said of the half lion, half eagle that perched on another branch. Gilda licks her beak in obvious hunger before leaping down with a single mighty flap of her wings.
"Guh!" The sudden downburst of air topples the startled firefly, but she quickly begins to scurry away. Only to be yanked backwards with a yelp as though tugged by a leash. Fearfully looking back, she sees a single talon pinning her cape firmly to the ground.
"You're kind of gangly, but ya have more meat than I'd expect from a bug." With a wicked grin stretching across her beak, the griffon rubs the other razor sharp talon across her chest feathers mockingly. "Guess I lucked out..."
As the bird youkai also floats to the ground, Wriggle looks at her pleadingly. Surely her old friend would prevent her from becoming a quick meal. Surely she would step in and blind this offending beast with her song.
"Now, now~ Why not snack on the little ones over there, and leave the big one for me to eat~?" The pleading expression drops to one of horror and betrayal, even if she's sure that Mystia is joking. Sort of sure.
Glancing back cockily, Gilda appraises the fellow predator before scoffing and turning back to her prey. "Get real, dweeb. Who's gonna make me? You? I'm surprised those twigs you call wings even work." She hears a huff of anger from behind and tenses for an attack that comes far too suddenly. Feeling a hand gripping the scruff of her neck, she is violently tossed away before she has time to react.
A deep growl emanates from the griffon as she glances back up with anger seeping to the core of her being. Only for that anger to quickly fade to a questioning look at the sight that greets her. Standing over the bug that was seconds away from becoming food, is an exact copy of said bug. Flexing a hand, that now more resembles a claw, wreathed in green flames, she sneers with a very un-wriggle like expression of contempt.
"If she doesn't stop you, I might..." In a perfect imitation of the firefly's voice, but bearing and inflection of pride that is unknown to Wriggle herself, the doppelganger lays a challenge. The bug youkai still prone on the ground is shocked beyond words, and can't seem to work up the thought process required to move.
Mystia stares rigidly, confused at the scene before her, but for all the wrong reasons. "You did't tell me you had a brother~"
Finally gathering the mental fortitude to reply, the bug does a mental double take at that statement, her wonder quickly turning to anger. "What do you mean brother?! She looks exactly like me! And I'm a girl!"
All movement stops as the three stare at the embarrassed bug in shock, the very air seeming to hold its' breath. The second wriggle even has the gall to open the front of her pants and gaze down curiously before making a small "o" shape with her mouth. Becoming aggravated, her eyes narrow at her friend who is also standing slack jawed. "Why do YOU look surprised!?"
Looking away with a hint of red on her face, the night sparrow begins to idly poke her index fingers together. "W-well, you always wear shorts... And your hair..." A familiar letter drifts down lazily and catches her eye. She uses the opportunity to abandon the sinking conversation, and rips it from its' descent. Opening it and scanning the paper with a serious expression for a moment, the tension in the air rises with each second.
"I still can't read." Said tension dies a fiery death at that statement, all heads in the area aside from the abashed night sparrows suddenly slumping in exasperation.
Rising to her feet, Wriggle makes her way over with an annoyed huff before snatching the paper away and beginning to read aloud. At her words, the attention of those gathered begins to peak.
"Well, are you ready to give it another shot, Wriggle~? That Hakurei shrine maiden definitely deserves what we have in store for her this time~" Smiling excitedly, Mystia flits about in anticipation. The last time didn't go as they had planned, but here was a brand new opportunity.
The griffon didn't really care one way or the other, but the prospect of having a wish granted caught her interest. Perhaps she could use it to gain a second chance with the one who abandoned her? The pain of losing a best friend was not something she wished to think about, but if this was for real... "I'm in."
"Yes, I believe I'll join as well." The excitedly chattering youkai turned in surprise to the newcomers. They hadn't considered going beyond seeking the aide of that girl in the darkness once more, but this certainly wasn't unwelcome.
"Alright, with all this new muscle, there's no way she'll get the drop on us!" Pumping a fist in conviction, Wriggle stops with a blank look before turning to her copy. "So... Why do you look like me?"
*Youkai Army faction has been formed!*
Author's Note
Alright, here's the start of turn 1. You get 3 actions per turn. Actions can range from spending time with a specific ally, to attacking a neighboring territory. Before you can attack, you must declare war, which takes an action. When defeating an opposing army, you will take prisoners. These prisoners must be recruited to be utilized, and this recruitment takes an action. for example,
- Chat with Derpy
- Declare war on Youkai Army
- Attack Youkai Army
For now, only the Youkai Army is active, but as more territories are taken, additional armies will be formed and be open for attack. Don't know if a romance element will be taken into account, but if a single ally is frequently interacted with, and the general consensus calls for it, we may go that route. Other than that, feedback is appreciated, and have fun. That's all for now. Update when it's done.
