Pony Youtubers Book 3: Pewdiepony, Ponyaotic, and Marzipony

by Queen Cookie

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1975

*sigh* Again, Youtubers in Equestria. This time it's, oh, gonna have to move that one to a later date. No ideas. I know I left a cliffhanger for it, but I can't. So that means it's... Pewds, Marzia, and Cry.

Waht? Huh? Oh, yeah, Pony Youtubers. Hang on, I gotta list around here somewhere. Hmm, oh. This has taken an unexpected turn. I should make a couple rearrangements. *the sound of pencil on paper can be heard* Good thing I gotta plan for this one. SO. It's time for you to get the whole layout, right? *sigh* I knew you'd say that. It's time for… PEWDS CRY AND MARZIA.
Having woken up in the middle of the forest, Pewds was confused. His head hurt, and a pony, who had to be Cry, kept saying he wasn't speaking english. Now, he's slipping into Swedish, and he's gotten some bad news. Stephano, Mr. Chair, and Piggeh have been taken hostage by the barrels. Here in Equestria. Now with the help of Pinkie and my OC, they have to travel to a random cave and save them! TO ADVENTURE!!!

Previous Book (not required): Inner Demons

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-12 04:43:52 UTC

Prologue

    A throbbing pain, that's all it took. A throbbing pain in his forehead, and then pitch black. When he awoke, he could feel something was different. It was a familiar feeling, he knew it very well. He had... hooves. Shit... he thought, Wonder what happened. I've heard of the rifts from the boss, but I didn't think- Fuck... are the others here? He looked around, and saw two other ponies, passed out on the ground. Not the others he was referring to, but still.

    "Nine-one-one?" a voice asked. An earth pony. "Nine-one-one, what're you doing here? You aren't supposed to-"

    "The rifts." he replied, in a dead serious tone.

    "Oh, right, the rifts." the mare facehoofed, "How could I forget, four-three-seven and the boss got caught in the middle of that. Seems you've gone and done the same."

    "You remember the legend, right?" the stallion asked.

    "Yes, we were taught all there is to know about it in school." the mare thought for a moment, piecing things together, "But who would be the golden and silver brothers of above, below, and magic?"*

    "I have an idea," the stallion said, "But I'll need to talk it over with a few people, and actually meet the god damn guys."

    "Good luck, nine-one-one." the are turned around before remembering something, "Oh, you remember four-three-seven's er, how do I put this... special friend from Multiverse Number Four, right? Well, she's been thinking about paying him a visit. You'll have to make the arrangements to keep subjects nine-six-five and nine-six-seven away. ESPECIALLY nine-six-seven, he's most likely to find out."

    "I expect her to keep me updated." the stallion said, then to himself, "Why would anybody willingly go there?"

    "Wouldn't you, to see a friend?" the mare had heard him, "I mean, you travel through Multiverse One and Multiverse Two just to get to the Real World Multiverse, or Multiverse Three."

    "You know what I mean." the stallion said.

    "Whatever. So, anything to report on your studies?" the mare asked.

    "Which one?" he asked.

    "You know."

    "No, I have no idea yet why the rifts don't affect the inhabitants of Equestria." the stallion sighed, "At first, I thought it might  have to do with pony DNA, but then it affected four-three-seven, and her ancestors on one side are, in fact, pony. So, it's back to square one."

    "Don't worry, it's happened in most investigations." the mare said, "What about the... 'Bro Theory' you called it?"

    "I have no clue." the stallion said, "No matter what I do, he won't tell me how he does it! I swear, he's got some magic on his side. I do have a theory. His consciousness leaves his body, and goes there. His body, though staying behind, controls his movements there, using the keyboard and stuff. His body can also speak with others, just as he would. When he returns, these memories will be placed in his mind, yet he'll have the ones he just made in there."

    "What about the-?" the mare started asking.

    "I know, and I looked into it." the stallion sighed, "It has nothing to do with the fourth wall. You're the expert, I'll have you check it out sometime."

    "Maybe..." the mare sighed, "I don't like leaving Equestria."

    "THERE'RE TWO PEOPLE WATCHING OVER YOUR DESIGNATED GROUP!!! SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO WATCH OVER FIFTY, AND TWO HAD TO BE ASSIGNED TO ONE GROUP OF SIX!!! YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK!!!" the stallion said.

    "Next month." she said, "Next month."

Chapter 1: Where Is Stephano?!

    "Ugh, mitt huvud gör ont." Felix said as he got up. What did they call this place? Equencia? No, Equestria? Yeah, that's it, Equestria.

    "English, Pewds." a voice came from behind him.

    "Jag sade, ugh, mitt huvud gör ont!" Pewds turned around and saw it was Cry, as a pony, who spoke english, "Sorry, Cry. I said, ugh, my head hurts."

    "Better." Cry said.

    "We are ponies, aren't we?" Pewds asked. His fur was tan, his eyes were blue, and his hair was blonde. He was a unicorn, and his cutie mark was a controller. "We're fastskruvad."

    "Felix, please. English." Cry said.

    "Fastskruvad! I'm saying that correct, right?" Pewds asked.

    "You hit your head pretty hard. English, Pewds. Not. Swedish." Cry held his shoulders best he could with hooves. He was a unicorn. His fur was green, and his mane was brown. His regular mask covered his facial features, and his cutie mark was the mask itself.

    "Ah, i helsike du!" Pewds screamed, and Cry guessed it wasn't good, "Jag talar engelska!"

    "Im jeez, you hit your head so hard." Cry facehoofed.

    "Hello!" Marzia said, "I was hoping somebody I knew was here!" She was an earth pony, with a pink coat, brown mane and eyes, and a piece of paper being folded for a cutie mark.*

    "Marzia berättar jag talar engelska!" Pewds said, practically shaking his girlfriend.

    "Felix! You need to speak english, I can't understand you!" Marzia said. So Cry wasn't playing a joke on him.

    "Sorry, I guess I lost my ord there." Pewds slipped back into english, but some Swedish still stuck.

    "Sounds to me you lost some for good." Cry said, poking his friend's head.

    "Felix, try to remember your english, please." Marzia said, giving him puppy dog eyes.

    "I'll try." Felix said, "But you can't be too certo."

    Cry sighed, and mentally facehoofed to go along with his physical one, "This is going to be on HELL of a day." Felix didn't even realize when he switched from english the Swedish. Some reading between the lines would have to be done.

    "You're right." Felix said, he started trying to remember things, as they walked in a random direction.

    "You have to admit," Marzia said, "This place is lovely."

    "Totally." Cry said.

    "Godkänt." Pewds said, not paying any mind to the fact he spoke Swedish again.

Kill them.

No.

HE SAID KILL THEM

Shut up.

KILL THEM NOW

I SAID SHUT UP!!

You'll have to one day, Cry.

No I-

Can I do it?!

YOU AREN'T KILLING ANYBODY!!!

*snort* Yeah, right.

I swear if you-

This is boring. Bye, Cry. Bye, Mad.

Virus gets bored easily.

Go away, Mad.

     "Why do you look so mad, Cry?" Marzia asked, "Are you feeling alright, we can stop."

     "I'd snarare inte." Pewds said, "This place reminds me too much of Amnesia."

     "I'm fine." Cry said.

     "Do du grabbar hear that?" Pewds asked, "Voices." One sounded extremely excited, the other laughing a bit. One of them recognized the voices.

     "They're coming down the road." Marzia said as the sound of the voices got stronger.

     "But there wasn't mayonnaise, so I was confused!" the excited voice said, "They'd told me there was mayonnaise, and there wasn't! They lied to me, and lying isn't nice. It's unnice! It's really unnice! It's so unnice that-!"

     "Pinkie, please." the other voice said, "For the love of Celestia, I get it."

     "Fine, iI'll tell you- GASP!!" she noticed the three ponies in the road before her, "NEW PONIES!!!!"

    "PINKIE CONTROL YOURSELF!!!" the mare said.

    "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said, "I've never met you before, so you must be new! This is so exciting! What're your names? I'm gonna throw a partyyyy!!!!"

    "And you said lying was wrong." the mare grumbled, receiving a smack on the back of the head.

    "I'm Cry, she's Marzia, he's Felix, don't let him introduce himself, he's forgotten his words." Cry said.

    "Nothing I can't handle." Cookie said, "Little known fact about me, I speak multiple languages. Name's Cookie."

    "We saw the weirdest thing on the way here! Well, I did, Cookie wasn't there!" Pinkie said, "At first, it looked like there were two guys, but then I realized there were three! They were struggling, because these meanies had them tied up! They were about to put a gag on one, but before they could, he said, 'YOU BARRELS WILL DIE' or something. I dunno. He looked weird, like he was made of gold. Oopsies! I meant bu-"

     "Wait what?!" Pewds said, "Det är Stephano!"

     "What did he say?" Cry asked.

     "That's Stephano." Cookie said.

     "THE BARRELS ARE HERE!!!!" Pewds shouted, before going into panic mode.

Chapter 2: BECAUSE WE'RE SUPER DUPER UBER GOOBER LUBER KOOPER KOOPAH OKIE DOKIE LOKIE FRIENDS!!!!

    "I take it that's not good." Pinkie said, "Those guys sound like meanies, I mean, they captured your... what was that word you use, Cookie? Ah, that's right. They kidnapped your fucking friends!"

    "PINKIE!!!" Cookie whispered something in her ear. She nodded.

    "Sorry." Pinkie said.

    "What're you guys doing in the woods?" Cookie asked, "This is the Everfree, full of dangerous monsters. That's why I brought my fourth wall breaking friend."

    "THAT'S ME!!!" Pinkie said.

    "Well, we're sorta lost." Pewds said, "Kan du visa oss hur... här?" Felix pointed to a small map.

    "Where'd you get that?" Cry asked.

    "Bros gotta know where Barrels are." Pewds said, as if it made any sense.

    "Yeah..." Cry said.

    "I know how to get there, but it's dangerous." Cookie said, "Mind if we tag along?"

    "I don't care what you say." Pinkie said, "I'M COMING!!!!"

    "I'm stuck on Pinkie Duty, so I guess I'm coming too." Cookie said.

I'm so glad I'm not on Pinkie Duty.

That's because you've been assigned your target group.

    "Why? You don't even know us?" Marzia said.

    "BECAUSE WE'RE SUPER DUPER UBER GOOBER LUBER KOOPER KOOPAH OKIE DOKIE LOKIE FRIENDS!!!!" Pinkie smiled, "AND THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS DO FOR EACH OTHER!!!"

    "But-" Pewds started.

    "NO BUTS!!!" Pinkie said, "Friends of my friend are in danger! That means my friends are in danger!"  She was upside-down, staring Felix in the eyes.

    "How are you doing that?" Marzia asked in shock.

    "Don't question me!" Pinkie somehow quoted Felix, who looked at her in confusion.

Why are you REALLY doing this?

You know why...

You might not even get assigned anywhere near him.

Downer alert. Are you only bothering me?

Maybe.

Go bother Pinkie. She'll actually like it.

Fine. PINKIE!!!

YEAH?!!!

Do something.

Physical or mental?

You decide.

    "If you take a left here, you'll go to the mirror pool!" Pinkie shouted, "It's bad news. If you take a right, you can go to Zecora's hut, but then we'd be too far away from the main trail, and even get lost! If we go due north, then south, you could go to the old castle! It's spoooooky! But, we'll get where we wanna go if we take a riiiiiight... NOW!!" She grabbed the four ponies, and dragged them to the right.

Did you put her up to this?

Maybe...

Fuck you.

Thanks. I take that as a compliment. You want to-

Bad thoughts!

Well, it's not me having the bad thoughts, it's-

YOU'RE GONNA SPOIL THE STORY IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!!!

Right, the story. My lips are sealed.

    Cookie was flying a bit above them, "Kinda quiet." she said, trying to test her ability to balance two conversations. It was a rather cloudy day, and she didn't feel like doing anything about that.

    "You guys are boring." Pinkie said, "You aren't even talking."

    "Booooring." Cookie sighed, "C'mon, say something. Hmmmm." She thought a moment "Pewds är en utlänning från vettet!"

    "Why you little-!" Pewds looked he was gonna hurt her.

    "Did it really happen?" she asked, and the stallion suddenly stopped.

    "Woah, what am I doing?" Felix said, "Sorry, I guess my mind irrade."

    "It's fine." Cookie said, still maintaining her secret conversation.

Your powers are awesome!

You're misusing them.

Hey Pinks, what's D-O-W-N-E-R spell?

Hmm, I think it spells DOWNER!

Shut up. It's not cool.

The boss uses his powers all the time, it's fine.

I still-

Hey, the boss knows all.

Can't argue that you're from the same world... technically.