Seven Days of Random Violence.
"So, you want violence and gore, do you? Are all those silly Slice of Life stories getting to be too boring for you? Are the tales of Sadness and Tragedy a bit too emotional for your desensitized brain to handle? I got just the cure for you. So kindly take a seat and pay attention before I slap you upside the head for ignoring me."
"Yay, I love stories."
"Good, now pay attention and don’t interrupt."
*ahem*
It was a lovely Monday morning and Twilight Sparkle was busy running around in her library, as she was prone to do being the autistic and OCD bitch that she is, trying to tidy it up in time for a visit by Princess Celestia. She didn’t know why the Princess was visiting; she simply received a letter the other day that read “Dear Twilight. I am coming to visit. Get your shit together. Princess Celestia.”
So that’s what Twilight did; she got her shit together. She sorted all the books, dusted every shelf, arranged the drinking glasses and plates in size order and even went to the trouble of making Spike’s and her beds. There was no way Twilight was greeting the Princess with a messy library. It didn't matter if, in return, someone walked Spike for a month. It didn't matter if, in return, she miraculously grew wings and became one of those OP Alicorn jerk-offs. There was no way, in Hades, that she would be greeting Princess Celestia with a messy library. Luna, maybe she would do it for Luna, possibly Cadence as well. Not Celestia though.
After about five minutes, because she’s efficient like that (It’s the German blood.) Twilight had finished ‘getting her shit together’ as Celestia put it and was standing by the door, ready and waiting for the Princess to arrive. “I can't wait till Princess Celestia gets here. I wonder what she wants.”
“She's probably coming to tell you that she no longer wants you to be her student and that she hates your guts.” Spike said, walking out of the kitchen chuckling.
“You be quiet, minion.” Twilight picked up Spike in her magic and flung him against the wall, knocking him out cold, before turning back to the door. At that moment, there was a knock at the door.
“Uh, you're supposed to ring the doorbell.” Twilight called out, more than a little bit annoyed that the visitor had neglected to ring the bell she'd installed just yesterday.
“Twilight, it's me; Princess Celestia.” The Princess's voice called out from the other side.
“Ring the bell…”
“But, Twi-”
“RING IT!” Twilight shouted back at the Princess, cutting off her excuse. How dare she not ring the bell? How DARE she?
“Ugh, fine…” The next second, the doorbell rang. Twilight walked over to it and opened the door to greet Princess Celestia. “Really, Twilight, I hardly think that was necessary.” Celestia walked passed Twilight and entered the library. Twilight followed close behind.
“Oh, it was VERY necessary.” Twilight wandered into the kitchen to prepare something to drink, talking to the Princess from across the rooms. “I wasn't sure if they'd installed it properly. I needed someone to ring it so I could make sure they did it right.”
“Couldn't you have just rung it yourself?”
“That's NOT how things work.” Twilight walked out of the kitchen, two mugs of Applejack's cider in her magic, glaring at her mentor. “There is a strict balance that MUST be maintained. The doorbell MUST be rung by a guest, not by the owner of the building. It's the rules.”
“Fine, fine.” Princess Celestia sat down and took one of the mugs from Twilight, drinking from it. Twilight sat down at the table with her.
"Is that really how Twilight would act, uncle?"
"Don't interrupt me when I’m telling a story or I'll lose my train of through."
“So….To what do I owe this visit?” Twilight asked, taking a drink of cider. “A Princess doesn't just come down, all the way from Canterlot, to Ponyville just to visit somebody. So why have you come to visit?”
“I've come to visit, Twilight.” Celestia took a drink, deliberately building up suspense as Twilight stared at her, waiting. “I've come to visit you, Twilight, to inform you that I longer wish to have you as my personal student and that I hate your guts.”
“WHAT!?” Twilight stared at Celestia in disbelief and anger.
“Called it! I fucking called it!” Spike called out from the corner of the library where Twilight threw him earlier, practically bursting his gut from laughter (And possibly an overdose of ice-cream).
“I NEVER GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK, MINION!” Twilight picked up Spike in her magic and pulled him over to where she and Celestia were sitting.
Celestia watched in shock as Twilight pinned her assistant against the wall. Well, I say she watched in shock. In actual fact, she merely observed the whole event in amusement, thinking back to those fun filled times back in Canterlot when Twilight would abuse the tiny dragon on a daily basis for whatever reason. Oh, the memories.
“What did I say about speaking out of turn?” Twilight gave Spike two powerful bitch-slaps to the face, leaving bright red hoof-marks on both of his cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Twilight. I forgot. Please forgive me.” Spike pleaded for mercy as he hovered in Twilight’s magic.
“Sorry doesn't cut it.” Twilight wound back her pimp-hoof, ready do deliver a vicious assault of pimp-slaps to Spike's cheeks. “You...” *slap* “Should never…” *Slap* “Speak…” *Slap* “Out of…” *Slap* “Turn…” *Uber-Slap*. Every slap she delivered dug deeper and deeper into Spike's scaly hide, eventually starting to draw blood.
“Please, Twilight, please…” Spike cried a combination of tears and blood as he begged for mercy. “It won't happen again, I swear!”
“Oh you swear, do you? You swear?” Twilight gave Spike a look of sympathy, as she pulled his closer to her face.
“Y-Yes, I swear it won't happen again.” Spike than gave a yelp as Twilight pinned him up against the wall a second time. Twilight glared at him with a look of pure malice.
“What did I tell you about swearing? You know I will NOT tolerate any foul language from you!” Twilight wound back her pimp-hoof again, but instead of slapping him, she gave him a solid punch directly to his puny, baby-dragon nose, breaking it on the first hit. Blood poured out of Spike's crippled schnoz as the little wimp cried out in pain.
“argh! I'm sorry, Twilight. Please, I'll be good. I won't do it ever again. I promise.” Spike stared at his violent mistress through bloodied eyes and his cheeks and nose slowly bled onto the floor of the library.
Princess Celestia, meanwhile, was busy recording the whole thing on her iHoof, getting ready to upload dat shiz onto PoneTube. A vid of this calibre was a cinch to go viral. It might even top Luna’s music video “Children of the Night”. That’'ll show her who has the best PoneTube channel. Aint nobody going to outviral Princess Celestia on PoneTube. Least of all, Princess Luna, her own sister for fuck's sake. It was bad enough when King Sombra beat her with his “They’re taking the Ponies to Hoofengard” Remix, which got about 6,000,000 views, now her own sister is making viral videos, while she's stuck making stupid vlogs about how hard it is to run Equestria.
"Uncle?"
"But…..I digress…"
Twilight pulled Spike off the wall and brought him close to her face, examining him, before turning to Celestia. “Leave us…”
“But Twi-” Celestia began to protest, not wanting to miss out on this, when Twilight cut her off with a raised hoof.
“Now!” Twilight snapped. “Before I change my mind and punish you as well, for ditching me as your student.”
“…Twilight, my powers rival yours any day. You wouldn't stand a chance.” Celestia responded matter-of-factly. Twilight released Spike from her magic, who quickly ran and hid, leaving a trail of blood in his wake, and walked over to Celestia.
“Oh your magic rivals mine, does it? Is that what you think?” Twilight advanced on her ex-mentor, an angry glare on her once happy and joyful face. “Well, let’s see just how ‘powerful’ you are without your horn!” With that, Twilight grabbed Celestia's horn in her magic and, with a mighty surge of energy, ripped the Princess's horn clean off her head.
"Is that even possible, uncle?"
"I don’t fucking know. Don't interrupt my story."
"But uncle-"
"It's a fictional story, I don't got to explain shit!"
The princess screamed in agony as the gaping hole, where her horn used to be, bled profusely all over her head and onto the floor, leaving a slippery puddle that some careless idiot might slip and fall over. Twilight's magic powered up, once again, as she slowly advanced on the, now retreating, Alicorn.
“T-Twilight…Let's just, talk about this. Alright?”
“No more talk. You are going to pay for ditching me.” Using her magic, Twilight summoned up a carving knife, testing the finesse of its blade by running it across her cheek, causing a small cut and drawing blood. “Ah, yes. Perfect…” A mad grin appeared on Twilight's face as she continued her advance. Celestia, seeing that she had no hope of calming the crazy, flipped out, unicorn, spread her wings and made to fly out of a nearby window. Twilight quickly cast a spell and blocked all the windows, and the door, with huge slabs of concrete, blocking all the exits.
“T-Twilight…”
“You're not going anywhere…” Twilight advanced on Celestia, the knife still in her magic.
With a violent slash, Twilight brought the knife down into Celestia's shoulder, the cold metal of the blade digging into her soft, supple, delicious flesh. The blood flowing out of the deep wound in long, bright red streams of delicious-
"Uncle?"
"Uh…I mean…"
"Were you just fantasizing about drinking Princess Celestia's blood?"
"Of course not, what ever gave you that impression…Now let’s carry on with the story"
In a violent slash, Twilight buried the knife's cold blade deep into Celestia's shoulder, cutting into the bone and even puncturing an artery. The Princess screamed like a little bitch, stopping only when Twilight punched her on the nose, similar to the one she gave Spike. This one, however, didn't break Celestia's nose. “SHUT UP! I NEVER GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO MAKE A NOISE!” Twilight punched Celestia again. This one broke the nose.
“Twilight…W-What’s gotten into you?” Celestia stared at her, now retired, student through pleading, bloodied eyes.
“No more am I going to put up with being pushed around and neglected by you.” Twilight withdrew the knife from Celestia's shoulder, allowing the blood to flow freely and causing the Princess to wince.
“I-I never neglected you.”
“No more having to deal with my stupid, pathetic minion.” Twilight casts a spell on the knife, sharpening the blade even more.
“I’m not your minion, I'm your assistance!” Spike called out from his hiding spot.
“YOU SHUT UP!” Twilight suddenly spun around and, with her magic, launched the knife at Spikes hiding spot in one of the cupboards.
The knife, now incredibly sharp, whizzed through the air and buried itself into the cupboard, the sharp blade allowing it to slice clean through the wood and embed itself into the neck of the baby dragon hiding inside. A watery gurgle, muffled by the wood, emanated from within as Spike slowly choked to death on his own blood as it leaked into his throat and made its way into his lungs. Bursting out of the cupboard, Spike ripped the knife out of his throat, severing his jugular at the same time, and threw the knife at Twilight in a vain attempt to kill her, as he fell to the group and slowly bled out.
Twilight, being OP as fuck, merely grabbed the knife in her magic and swung it around, slashing it across the face of Princess Celestia, damaging her once beautiful (and sexy, might I add?) face. Celestia cried out in pain as the knife cut into her flesh once again. Twilight stared her ex-mentor right in the face. “You shrugged me off for the last time, you OP Alicorn bitch.” With that, Twilight took the knife, still drenched in Spike's blood and plunged it deep into the Princess's face. The highly toxic dragon blood-
"Dragon blood is toxic?"
"It is now, stop interrupting me."
The highly toxic dragon blood seeped into Celestia's blood stream and mixed with her own blood, injecting her with the poisonous toxins. Celestia could actually feel her life draining away as the toxins did what they were best at. Twilight simply grinned an evil grin, Twilight grinned a nasty grin, an evil, nasty, menacing grin at Celestia as she watched the Princess slowly die. “You see what happens?” Twilight gave Celestia a violent punch to the nose for good measure, breaking it further and causing even more blood to pour out of Celestia's already mangled face. “Maybe next time, you'll think twice before blowing me off. Oh wait, I forgot; there won't BE a next time will there because you'll be dead. Oh well.” Twilight cackled slightly as the dying Princess started to cry as she slowly died.
As she watched, Twilight wiped away some of the blood from her face. In her haste, she'd been careless and allowed Celestia's and Spike's blood to make it onto her. Thankfully, she had no open wounds, so she was safe from Spike's blood and only had to cast a cleaning spell to get rid of it. Speaking of Spike, how was the little fucker doing, you might ask? Twilight was wondering the same thing, so she left Celestia to her fate and about-faced to see whether Spike was still hanging in there. Annoyingly enough, there he was, still bleeding out and still struggling to breath. Twilight glared at his small, insignificant form. “Dammit, are you still alive?”
“T-Twilight…Help M-Me…Please.” It really was a pathetic sight.
“How the fuck are you still alive!?” Twilight stared at the young dragon in a combination of shock and anger. “You should be dead by now.”
“D-Did you…Forget?”
“Forget what?” Twilight asked as she looked at Spike curiously.
“Dragons…H-Have more blood…Than ponies. E-Even…The babies. They also…S-Survive much worse…I-Injuries…This is...Easy for a d-dragon.”
“SON OF A BITCH!” That was the final straw that broke the hypothetical camels back as Twilight flew into an absolute rage. She powered up her magic, her pupils contracted mere dots and she proceeded to absolutely tear into Spike's puny body.
It was truly a sight to behold. Twilight used a powerful cutting spell and sliced open Spike's stomach, his most recent of meals spilling out over the library floor in a puddle of ice-cream, gems, blood and gastric juices. She then used her magic to levitate over one of her favourite books “A Complete History of Equestria” and used its enormous size, and mass, to completely decimate the bones in Spike's arms and legs. When this was done, she picked up the, still annoyingly alive, dragon in her magic and slammed him repeatedly against the floor, and walls, of the library. She launched him into one of her bookshelves, breaking several of his ribs as she did it. As a final attacked, she picked him up, targeted his neck specifically and violently wrenched his neck, completely breaking it.
This was all it took to finally finish off the young dragon, who went completely limp as soon as his neck broke. Satisfied, Twilight flung his mangled corpse over her should, into the body of Celestia, who had died during the violent process.
"Uncle, why did Celestia and Spike have to die?"
"You asked for violence and gore. If nothing happened to them, it would have just been another boring Slice of Life about Twilight trying to cope with being blown off. It wouldn't have been what you asked for if she didn't flip out."
"But why Celestia and Spike?"
"Because they were the first two I thought of, okay? Now shut up before I slap you."
"I’ll be good…"
"Anyway."
Twilight looked over her work in satisfaction. Wondering what to do with her time now. She'd killed her ex-mentor and her minion, leaving her with nobody to push around and abuse. However, her boredom didn't last when she looked around and realised the state that her library was in. There was blood all over the floor, the books and the furniture. Some of Spike’s innards had left a visible stain where she had sliced open his stomach and Celestia had, in her death rows, vomited blood and juices all over the floor as well, leaving a stain there as well.
“Oh well. Might as well clean this up.” With that, Twilight started the cleaning process. She threw the mangled corpses of Spike and Celestia into a skip-bin just outside her library and then set to work casting various cleaning spells around the library as she finally calmed down and, as Celestia so brilliantly put it, “Got her shit together.”
"So. What did you think of that?"
"I'm scared…"
"Well don’t wet your panties just yet, we've still got six more parts and six more murderous ponies to go through before this story’s done."
"What do you even call this story, uncle?"
"I call it…The Aristocrats."
