Prologue: Our Lovely HostView OnlinePimp Spike's SwagPrologue: Our Lovely HostIt's Nighttime in Ponyville & it was a full moon out tonight, Luna, in Celestia's private study shall be our host for the night, telling us the stories of Spike and 20 other's "Ah, hello Bronies & Pegasisters, you may be wondering what am I doing here? Well, it's to read all the fan-mail you've sent me to tell you fascinating tales about my dragon of a nephew's love life! Oh, I got the goosebumps waiting for the 1st letter to arrive! Ah, here it is!"
Ch.1: Cherry Suprise.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.1: Cherry Suprise."Yes, the 1st as you all say ship shall be..." *Drum roll...* "Cherry Jubilee, now let's... excuse me Element of Laughter, you can stop tapping on the drum now thank you." "Okay!" It was a fairly fine day in Ponyville, Spike & Ms. Cheerilee's class were on their way to dodge junction to see the T-Rex skeleton that was discovered there. Twilight Sparkle had Spike enroll in Ms. Cheerilee's class when she realized that Spike was starting to become just like her, an anti-social person who would rather spend his time reading than going outside to do stuff. She thought that school would help Spike regain his social skills due to the fact she's always making Spike do chores & such. They finally made it to Dodge Junction the T-Rex skeleton was near the Cherry Hill Ranch. They all saw the skeleton with awe. "Wow, that's awesome!" Spike said. "Isn't it?" A female voice said who walking over to them. The class turned & it was Cherry Jubilee, the owner of the orchard. "Hello kids, I'm Cherry Jubilee the owner of this here orchard." "Hey, I know you, Applejack told me that you used to be her employer after she lost the rodeo." Spike said. "Aw shucks, now that was a pony who can really work." "Yeah, she's a really great friend, tried to keep her promise to get the money, but still saying she wanted a change of scenery from apples to cherries sounded like real bull." "What was that?" "Woah, I don't have a problem with cherries, I happen to think they're very sweet!" Cherry blushed at the comment. "I'd actually like to see for myself what going from one thing to the other would do." "Well, aren't you nice for a dragon?" "Yeah, living your whole life in the kind gentle embrace of ponies will do that to you." The class then aww'd. "Okay class, the train will be leaving in 30 minutes, meet me back at the train station at 7:30, in the meantime, have fun in dodge junction." Said Cheerilee as she walked towards the station. "Huh, guess I got plenty of free time." "Would you like to come in & see the orchard?" asked Jubilee. "Okay." Spike replied. Spike got a tour of the place & saw it all. He thought it was amazing. "Wow, this place is amazing Cherry, I'd like to work here someday!" "Well, you'll have to wait till you're older." "Hey, I've been able to perform amazing feats at such a young age!" "Prove it, why don't you go & sort the cherries, miss one & I'll call you're bluff!" "Bring it!" So they entered cherry sorting room. The pony making the conveyor belt move was ordered to run really fast! "Okay sugar, if you can sort the cherries correctly without missing a single one till I get back, I'll let yah work here whenever you want & maybe we can get together sometime." So she left & the cherries were coming in, Spike was as fast as lightning, sorting cherries like a pro, when the pony started running faster, he began to sort faster, his hand coordination was off the charts, but I guess that's what happens to a boy who learned his skills from Celestia, the ruler of Equestria! He filled well, I'll tell you how many bins later. So Cherry Jubilee returned & was shocked to see 2 days worth the usual quota finished! "I-I...wow!" Then she hugged Spike "Thank you Spike, Bessy, tell everypony that they got the day off tomorrah! I've never seen anyone work so fast & Impressively & the cherries are all sorted correctly, you didn't cheat at all!" "See? A young person can do anything if the put their mind to it & I just succeeded in filling this many bins of Cherries." "I can see that hon!" "So, remember when you said when I won?" "Oh yes, but I never expected you to actually...fine, let's go." "Alright, take my claw milady!" She blushed & gave him her hoof! They spent whatever time Spike had left before he had to catch up with his class. It seems the residents at dodge junction didn't see anything wrong with them being together & Spike so polite & nice. Cherry was so flattered that she became flustered with cherry red all over her face. So she hid it with her fan. "Wow Cherry, you're so beautiful, how come you're still single?" Spike asked. "Well, I thank you for calling me beautiful, but I'm not really sure about why nopony's worked up any courage to ask me out yet." She was getting redder. "Hey what's wrong, you've been hiding you're face with that fan the time we've been talking are you okay?" Looking for a way to dodge the question, she looked at the clock. "Oh, will you look at the time? We better get you back to the train you're classmates & teacher." So she walked him back to the train station where they were all waiting for their ride back to Ponyville. "Have a safe trip back young 'un." then she kissed Spike on the cheek causing all red On Cherry Jubilee's face to be transferred to his face. Then She walked away. Spike held his cheek, wondering what he's done to deserve a kiss. "Hey boss, I told them all they've got the day-off!" said Bessy. "Good girl, now I'm planning on closing up shop for the weekend." "Huh? Why?" "I'll be heading to Ponyville to visit someone special." Then she looked as the train chugged by. End. "Well, that wasn't a very good story now was it? Hopefully the next one will be much better. GUARD, BRING ME THE NEXT FAN LETTER ADRESSED TO ME!!!" Said Luna, using the traditional Canterlot royal whee! Author's Note I know I rushed this one but I wasn't quite sure on how a pairing like tis would go, I'm gonna try next time with a girl who actually knows or met Spike at one point in the show.
Ch.2: Eyeroll!View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.2: Eyeroll!"Thank you, the next ship shall be...oh, of course this one would happen, its only the most common Spike ship 2nd to Sparity ever!!" She rolled her eyes at this! "The next one is Twilight Sparkle, I know of course someone would put in this ship, & all of you wish for something very out of the ordinary like maybe Spilda or Spyra, but it seems we get another Spilight or Twispike if you'd prefer, let's get this over with as they'd say." It was a beautiful morning in Ponyville & Twilight got up before Spike did so she could make breakfast this time (Yeah, HEY TWILIGHT, read the fanfictions here in this website & you'll just have to accept the fact that you suck as a chef!). She got a brand new cookbook called "Learning How Cook Before Your Kids Wake-Up!". She tried everything in the book but she still fails at making a meal for herself, honestly if Spike moved out, she'd starve to death, either by studying to damn long or if she was just hungry. Spike woke-up to the smell of pancake batter. "(She's making breakfast again? How many cookbooks must I incinerate in order for her to realize she's just as bad a chef as Sweetie Belle?)" The 17 year old dragon thought. Spike hopped out of bed & walked to the kitchen, uh-oh, smoke! Spike ran inside to see what was going on. The stove was on fire. "Oh, good morning Spi-" She was cut-off "Outta the way Twilight!" Spike grabbed Twilight by her shoulders & placed her on her usual spot at the dinning table. Twilight looked into Spike's eyes & she felt something in her heart, she never looked at Spike so close-up before. Spike was just a child to her before, but as Spike got older he also got wiser, even realizing his pursuit for rarity would never happen & let her go. Twilight's eyes were sparkling after witnessing a close up of Spike's handsome face. Spike then used a fire osmosis spell to absorb all the fire into his body. Twilight was now looking at Spike a different way, his muscly body was muy macho & he was taller than any stallion. Twilight was imagining herself as a princess riding on a carriage with her handsome... "Hey Twi, the fire's out." "Oh, it is?" "Yeah, & this book will be burned like the rest so you'll never do this again!" "No!" She then jumped at Spike *CRASH BANDICOOT!!!* Twilight was now on top of Spike, she was now lying on Spike's well chiseled biceps. Spike was a little embarrassed at the situation they were in & so was Twilight. They starred into each other's eyes without even noticing what has happened. Could they be falling in love with one another? Well, They have known each other since childhood, and know a whole ton about the other, their hopes, fears, dreams! There were no secrets kept from them! They've been inseparable since the start. (Totally eyerolling here seriously!) Their faces were coming closer & closer till they realized what they were doing & reeled back both of their heads! "Oh my gosh, were we going to...to..." "Don't say it, things will only become more awkward then they already are!" Spike finished. So they sat there at the kitchen table eating breakfast with awkward silence & awkward faces. They still couldn't believe they were going to kiss! "Hey Spike?" "Yes Twilight?" "How's about we go somewhere to get our minds off you know?" "Yeah, let's do that!" Spike replied. So a while after breakfast Spike & Twilight left the Golden Oaks Library, big mistake, a while later, everypony was being so romantic towards their partner, Lyra was rubbing noses with Bon bon, Rainbow Dash was on a bench leaning on Soarin's side letting us all know of her trying to be cute, Derpy & the Dr. making out, all of this was making them uncomfortable! They ran to Sugarcube Corner, but Pinkie & Pokey Pierce were making out with each other there & it seems it was a Hearts & Hooves day sell so a lot of couples were buying sweets for their sweets! "It's Hearts & Hooves day!?" The both gasped. Yeah, you just had to forget about your version of Valetines day didn't you? So they rushed out of Sugarcube Corner & headed to Fluttershy's cottage! Problem is, all the animals were horny & were all humping when the 2 got there! They headed strait for Sweet Apple Acres to avoid seeing anyone kissing or cuddling, Hah, when they got there, Big Mac was making kissy face & gaga eyes with Ms. Cheerilee! Applebloom was kissing Pip's face multiple times, & dare I say it yes I do dare, Babs Seed accepted Scootaloo's offer to be Marefriend & well... Marefriend HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! They then started running till they made it to The Carousel Boutique Twilight was going to knock until... "Wait, what if she's making wedding dresses & tuxedos in there?" Twilight pointed out. "Yeah, let's just go home, this walk has become a disaster!" Spike agreed. Before they made it to the door, the final blow was struck to them after seeing Discord & Fluttershy kissing! That's when... "I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE, COME HERE!!!" the both of shrieked while facing each other with crazy faces. They then tackled each other & were aggressively kissing, tons of love hearts popping out from both, and so, they kissed the night away! Yeah, that one stallion sure is one to talk about getting a room since he was kissing in public with Berry Punch & of course only the crazy would want to be seen with a drunk for a girlfriend. The next day... Twilight & Spike awoke at the same time in the same bed. "Well, great that's finally out of our system." Said Spike "Yeah, it was amazing!" Twilight agreed. "So..." "So..." "Will you be my Special somepony?" They said in unison. "I love you so much!" they said again in unison. They then cuddled with so much love for each other in their hearts End. "I don't know about any of you, but that was quite funny. GUARD, BRING ME ANOTHER!!!" Meawhile... "Ugh, can't she keep it down? It's 1 in the Me damn morning!" The princess of the sun grumbled to herself. Author's Note Don't be offended, by some of the eyerolling, it's just that come-on! I'd like to see somepony freaking ship Rarity, I'd be moaning a very loud of course!
CH.3: The Diamond Dog Fetish.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCH.3: The Diamond Dog Fetish.Luna was watching the Big Bang Theory. "So come-on lemon (Bernadette) make me a sandwhich (rocket) because froggy (Howard) wants to come home." "Ohohohoh, that was such a humorous code!" Commented Luna. "Psst Princess!" "Oh your back? Ahem the letter if you'd please." She then opened the letter. "Ooh, this will certainly be a challenge, next is... Diamond Tiara, but it seems we'll be going to that other world for this one." We go through the magic mirror & enter the Equestria Girls version of our realm, So the CMC have been assigned to pet sit Spike until Twilight & her family return from vacation. It was the last day of them watching over Spike, they were walking him but that's when Diamond Tiara & her cohort Silver Spoon arrived in a limo to attempt to bully them once again. "Aw isnt this just cute Sweetie dumbbelle is walking a mutt while Applebimbo is walking a chicken." Said Silver Spoon. "I don't even think these losers will be good at watching animals!" Commented Diamond Tiara. That's when Spike went in & bit Diamond Tiara in the leg. "Ah!" She then shook Spike off & he was growling viciously. "You mutt!" she then kicked Spike. "Hey, leave Spike alone!" Snapped Scootaloo. "Men, take the dog!" "Yes ma'am!" The 2 muscly men then grabbed Spike, threw him in a kennel & held the CMC back as Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon entered her limo. "Later suckers!" Spike was wimpering in fear. soon we make it to Diamond tiara's mansion! "Okay boys, you're all free for today, Silver spoon, I have some "Private Business" to attend to so please leave me alone." "Okay, see you tomorrow." then they did their thing. "Bump bump, sugar lump rump!" As soon as the door closed... "Okay dog, I'm makng you my bitch!" With that, she took off her clothes & got Spike out of the kennel! Even if it was small, it was hard as steel Spike thought he could use the opportunity to escape, but why would he pass up the chance to have that kind of fun with a human. Later... "We're really sorry Twi." "It-it's o.. NO IT'S NOT OKAY!!! I TREATED THAT DOG LIKE A SON I EVEN FREAKING TU..." she was cutoff from a ringing at the doorbell. Twilight Sparkle opened the door revealing Diamond tiara with a satisfied face & holding a sleeping Spke. "Here!" She said, handing spike over. "You 3 are off the hook!" "(I'll see you later tonight in my dreams little guy heh, heh, heh.)" THE END "Man, that was short, maybe because the author of this story didn't really like Equestria girls! Awell, next letter!"
Ch.Four: Lightning Left in the Dust!View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.Four: Lightning Left in the Dust!"Ah, hello, sorry, but it seems that Luna wont be able to narrate, so I'll narrate for you guys, forever, and ever, a..." Then Screwball was cutoff! "BEGONE CHILD!!!" Luna said with a booming voice. "Aaaaaaaaah!" "Seriously Discord, I leave to go to the bathroom for 3 minutes & his damn kid tries to creep everyone out! But I digress, letter please!" She then read the letter. "Ooh, a story starring Rainbow Dash's greatest Imitator. It also seems that Spike has to reform her & is the new Captain of the royal guard!" "Princess, can I be in this story as well?" Asked Shogun Deezutra! "Very well Deezutra, I shall allow you an appearence in the story!" "ATTEN HUT MEN!!!" Spike commanded in a powerful voice! Spike became captain of the royal guard as instructed by his older brother Shining Armor & Celestia agreed to make Spike the new captain once he reaches age 22 which is exactly what happened now. "Today, I wont be available because I have to reform a recently apprehended criminal!" "What did this criminal do?" Asked Private Pip. "After dropping out of the Wonderbolts Academy, she used her speed and other abilities to steal from local Canterlot jewelery stores! Not just that, but she's also been picking fights with other members of the royal guard! The only one who was able to finally stop her reign of terror was my good friend Rainbow Dash!" "Of course because she's awesome!" Replied his entire unit! "So, for until I return, Shogun Deezutra will lead you in my absence!" Shogun Deezutra was a human samurai who came from another world! He's been universe hopping for many years but once he finally made it Equestria, along with his team of 6: Charizard, Typhlosion, Blaziken, Infernape, Emboar, and Delphox! He decided to settle down. He currently resides in the mountains overlooking Ponyville. "I shall not fail you sir!" Deezutra then saluted. "Aw man why not us?!" groaned privates Snips & Snails. "BECAUSE YOU 2 ARE UGLY SMELLY MONKEY FACED RETARDS!!!" Replied the entire unit! Later... Spike was face to face with a pegasus who was shakled & had weights on her wings so she couldn't fly and escape! 2 guards were on either side of her holding spears. "You 2 are dismissed, I can handle the rest!" He said. The 2 guards saluted then left Spike alone with Lightning Dust! "Lightning Dust, or should I say the Lightning Round Theif! How could you abuse the training you got from the Wonderbolt Academy for crime? When I 1st met you, you seemed like an okay gal, but after you dropped out for going against Rainbow Dash, your lead Pony's orders, you just had to go & become a criminal, did you?" Spike scolded. "(Hmph, so the squirt from 10 years ago became Captain of Celestia's royal guard huh?)" She thought. "Oh shaddup! You & I weren't even that close, why would you even want to help me out huh! Princess Celestia should just banish me to the sun anyway, I don't deserve to live anymore!" She then began to cry. Spike quickly noticed. "Hey, what's wrong?" "My family...I tried to prove to them that I am destined for greatness by becoming a Wonderbolt, but they never believed in me! They told me that I was going to be nothing! So, every waking moment, I would train & challenge myself to become the ultimate best! But once the time came... I entered the Wonderbolt Academy, I couldn't believe it, my parents were so apologetic, but once I lost my temper, and argued with Rainbow Dash, I felt hatred in my heart, then I dropped out, to make sure my parents wouldn't make fun of me...I killed them! After that, I became a very notorius criminal in Canterlot, so I could avoid my sad reality!" she then collapsed & fell to the floor! Spike then stopped her before she landed on the floor! "Woah!" Lightning Dust then pressed her face against Spike's well built chest & cried more. "Shh,shh...It's going to be fine, he, how's about we get some Ice Cream?" He offered "I'm lactose intolerant, sorry." "Well, how's about we go um...aha, let's go see my celebrity friends, I'm really plugged in to the famous click you know." "Really?" "Yeah, I'm good friends with Fancy Pants even though he took my true love from me, then there's Hoity Toity, the stallion who took her from me after she stopped dating Fancy Pants, there's also Soarin of the Wonderbolts, she was dating him for a short while..." Then tears started rolling 5 per second, till he collapsed, then it was Lightning's turn to catch him. Spike quickly wiped off his tears after. "You know what, how's about we go to Ponyville so you can apologize to Rainbow?" Spike asked. "Isn't she currently dating somepony named Rarity I read about it on the news last month?" Spike was now sniffling, "sniff..sniff, waa.." "Woah, woah, woah there big guy! Don't go crying on me again!" So after some comforting on both sides, they decided to go to the park, and just sit there. Yes, it was boring, but then Lightning Dust made the 1st move. "So, It seems that you started crying when you got emotional when I mentioned rarity, would you like to talk about it?" "Okay." So Spike explained his long Dragon Tale(Get it? Like the show Dragon Tales?) of heartbreak to Lightning Dust, She didn't even notice that tears were flowing out of her when they were just 3 and a half minutes through his story & he continued to speak for another 5 hours until... "Enough!" Then she grabbed Spike & wrapped her front legs around his torso as she cried, then Spike returned the embrace & was crying too. After a while, about 5 to 15 minutes they calmed down. "Spike?" "Yeah?" "It may not seem like much, but would you be willing to make me your girlfriend? I want to fill that giant void in your heart." "Yes, but let me fill the void in your heart, the lack of love your parents never gave you must have been Tartarus on you!" She agreed, and they held each other close, meanwhile on top of a nearby building, Shogun Deezutra was watching them, he then teleported to the troops. "THE CAPTAIN IS GETTING LAID TONIGHT!!!" He roared. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!" They all roared back like Mordecai, Rigby, Muscleman, High 5 Ghost, Skips, Benson, The Baby Ducks, and all those viral video people from Regular Show. "Hey, let's go to my room, it's getting pretty late." "Oh Spike, but we just started dating." Lightning Dust teased. "It's nothing like that, it's just that I thought you might like sleeping in a high quality bed is all & there will also be some Fireworks at 10." Spike then blushed. "Riiiiight... and I'm an equestrian Princess." "(I'll make you eat those words.)" He thought Months later... "You know I was just kidding right?" "Yeah, but I bet you didn't know I was Celestia's son did you?" "Touche." Then, Prince Spike & his newly married Princess rode off in their carriage to their honeymoon suite. "Oh, that ending was very amusing, My nephew sure made Lightning Dust eat her words, and now, I must take a break & watch some television. Next Letter!" "Coming right way your highness." Deezutra said as he left the private study. "Ooh, Ed Edd 'n' Eddy is on, truly the best Cartoon Network original, that is until Steven Universe premiered."
Ch.5: Bob Seed.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.5: Bob Seed."Wow, I can't beleive how much slapstick they put into what is obviously a show staring the teenage version of the 3-stooges, anyway..." she read the letter. "Looks like the person who wanted us to do the Spilight story, got another story for us to tell." "What do you mean us, your the only one telling the stories Princess?" Big Mac Questioned. "Just go back to licking my crotch okay honey?" "Eeyup." and so he did. "Our next story will be about Applebloom's favorite cousin Babs Seed, but as a twist, we'll Rule 63 this, so the story will be starring Barb the Dragoness & Bob Seed. Oh, Big Mac, I'm so close, look away viewer, somepony play the scene transition before I orgasm!" "Ow! Hey, who threw that?" Barb said, wondering who exactly it was who threw the shard of sapphire at her. "Must have been that jerk Diamond Crown, this is why I rejected daddy Solaris's fortune, all these rich jerks are always carelessly throwing their cash away!" Meanwhile in a bush, Applebuck's cousin, Bob Seed was spying on Barb. "(Aw-man, why must you be so shy with just giving the gem to her directly?)" Bob thought. Bob fell head over heels for Barb after seeing how tough she is compared to him & his type were the tough girls yes, indeedy. Eversince Barb turned 16, she's had amazing strength, making her 4 times stronger than AppleJuice, Rainbow Blitz, and Macareiner combined! So she takes extra special care to not crush her friends when she hugs them. Barb ate the sapphire that was thrown at her, then continued back home to prepare for the next Grand Galloping Gala & it wasn't going to suck like last time, Solaris can ensure that. This time the ruler of Equestria decided to make the Gala a fun party since it is afterall on the day of his daughter's birthday. That's right, the Grand Galloping Gala is Barb's 17th B-day party! Barb invited all of her friends such as Nightdancer, Butterscotch, and of course Bob Seed. Wow, that's a big lack of female friends, I actually consider Butterscotch to be half a man & Elusive whenever he whines, he sounds like a complete bitch. Barb didn't care if most of her friends were dudes, she just cared that she had friends. So now it's time for Bob Seed's next plan, spend the night at the Gala with Barb. Elusive was going to take Frilly Skirt with him as his date, I think that's what Fancy Pants's R63 name is, but I digress, Barb accepted defeat when she figured out those 2 were going out. So there was nothing to stop Bob from asking Barb to dance with him, if he could do that, then he can ensure a happy ending for him and her. Later that night Bob Seed put on his tuxedo, and he looked absolutely dapper. "You called?" asked The Disaster Pokemon Absol "No, not you, go back to your ball!" I said "Okay Bob, the time of being shy is over, the time to ask out that dragon is now!" he yelled to a mirror "Ask out that dragon?" said Applebuck, poking his head out. "Ah, cous..." Now this was awkward Applebuck just figured out about his crush. "Yur in luv with Barb?" "Yes." "Well alright, how can ah help you win the heart of that great gal?" "Wait, yah aint gonna tease me abou'..." "Bob, we are family & Cavaliers, you really think Ah'd evah tease you? I'm gonna go get help from Silver Bell & Scooter, we're gonna make sure this happens, besides, what can be better then bein' together right?" "Thank ya cous, yur a great friend, now let's get movin, the Gala is in an hour." 1 hour later the Gala was in full swing, Bubble Barry was dancing the samba, Eris was doing the worm, and Rainbow Blitz was twerking which is what the author thinks is a dishonorable dance. Butterscotch was playing 7 mins in heaven with Angela Bunny because Fruit Punch spiked the punch bowl in which caused Butterscotch to get drunk. Prince Artemis was greeting the guests, Barb was sitting on Solaris' thrown, Prince Solaris & Dusk Shine finally got to catch-up on things unlike the last Gala. Bob & the Cavaliers passed through the crowds, until they made it to the control room that controls the lights and music. "Alright, I'll be taking control of the settings, Silver, you'll be singing on the stage over yonder after Scooter drugs the band, Bob, you focus on gettin' to dance with Barb. Everypony git what they are suppose to do?" Applebuck asked "Yes!" They all replied. "Alright, move out!" "Roger!" Bob Seed was in the middle of the dance floor, all the guests didn't see Scooter knockout the band Solaris hired, they also didn'y notice when he stuffed them all in the broom closet, and Butterscotch still had 2 minutes left LOL. Silver Bell got up on stage & waved to Applebuck. The waving was Buck's que to shut off the lights & stop the music. When he did everypony gasped. Then a huge spotlight & some slow music started playing. Silver Bell tapped on the mic so he could get everypony's attention. "Alright everypony, let's give a round of applause to the birthday girl!" Silver Bell said into the mic and everyone applauded. "Oh, stop it guys, I'm blushing." Barb said with a big smile on her face. "Alright, now it's time for the birthday girl to come-on down to the dancefloor & dance with a guy who's had a thing for her since they 1st met, ladies & gentlecolts, I give you...Bob Seed!" Then the audience clapped loudly. barb then walked to the dance floor, she was wearing a beautiful red dress Elusive made for her, with long white gloves. Barb held out her hand, Bob took it & then they danced. "So, I figure you were the one throeing sapphires at me?" "H-how did you know?" "Because whenever Crown throws gems at me, it's always my least favorite ones, like quartz. Don't worry, I understand, guys and girls usually do this sort of thing to their crush, but you know, I forgive you." She then kissed him & he kissed back & the crowd roared and cheered. "Oh, what a fascinating tale we've told.' "You said it Princess!" said caramel. "Caramel? what are thou doing down there?" "Big Mac's tongue was getting sore & texted me to come over & be his replacement, we switched places when you weren't looking." "HE SHELL FEEL MY WRATH FOR ABANDONING ME, but right after the next story... Caramel, go get the next letter."
Ch.6: Eating Ice Cream With a Silver Spoon.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.6: Eating Ice Cream With a Silver Spoon."Princess, please let me stop, the tip of my toungue is beginnning to get sore!" Big Mac pleaded. "NEIGH, YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED, NOW CONTINUE TO LICK MY HOOVES WHILE I NARRATE THE NEXT STORY!!!" She then read the next letter "Well well well, looks like Spike will be shipped with Silver Spoon. very well, let's begin." "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!!" "What do you mean Silver Spoon?" "I can't do this anymore, you're always like this, you think you are better than everypony just because you're rich!" "That's because I am, I can do anything I want when I want because I got the money to do it!" "But this time, you've went to far & now the CMC are in the hospital! For now on, we are no longer friends, goodbye Diamond Tiara, enjoy you're worthless cash!" With that, Silver Spoon left her used to be BFF alone in her room. "Hmph, pathetic bitch! She'll never understand that in order to not be weak, you must always be on top of the world." She said with a soul as cold as the artic north. Meanwhile... Spike, Big Mac, Granny Smith, Magnum & Pearl, and the mane 6 were all kicked out of hospital because of their persistent refusal to leave because visiting hours were over. "I'm gonna sui!" Yelled Magnum "That Filthy Rich must learn how to control his demon of a child!" Rainbow Dash added "EEYUP!" Big Mac said with the force of thunder! "Since I'm a princess, I can hire the most unstoppable lawyer in Equestria & take away all of their money!" Said Twilight. While they were all chanting "Down with Filthy!" Spike heard crying in the bushes. He followed the voice until he found Silver Spoon all alone. "(Hmm...it's a good thing that she actually has a heart, even if it's a broken one.)" He thought. That's when he fell over because Discord diguised himself as a tree & shoved him with a branch. "Woah!" Thud! after hearing that, she quickly wiped her taers and put on her glasses. "Huh? Who's there?" "It's just me." "Oh, your...Sweetie Belle's boyfriend?" "No." "Applebloom's Boyfriend?" "Wrong again." "Scootaloo's boyfriend?" "3 strikes, your out. I'm Spike, I don't have a girlfriend & where did me being the CMC's boyfriend come from?" "Well, my classmates at sometimes debate on which one of them is the right girl for you. Sometimes they start fighting." "(Dammit, warring shipper factions!)" he thought. "So why are you here all alone?" "I couldn't take witnessing Diamond Tiara's cruelty anymore, so decided to stop being her friend." "So you finally decided to call it quits huh? Guess the gang was right." "What do you mean?" "Everpony in ponyville doesn't have any beef with you Silver Spoon, their rage is targeted at Diamond Tiara, you were just the sidekick. We all thought you just went with her so you wouldn't get bullied, we even agreed with your parents that she was a bad influence on you. We predicted that something big enough would cause the end of your friendship & we were all right." "Wow, nopony hates me?" "Nopony, so, do you want to be friends? Do you want to join us?" As Spike held out his claw, the floodgates opened. She started crying tears of joy & leapt at Spike, embracing him, digging her head into his chest. Spike calmed her down with some shushes & pats on the back. "Hey, wanna ditch this place & go to the brand new icecream parlor that just opened up yesterday?" Spike offered. "Sure." So they walked together to the new icecream parlor know Skatescream & bought the most expensive product there. The reason why it's called Skatescream because it's also a roller skating rink also, little known fact, the owner is Starscream! As they were consuming, Pony Adam West, the Family Guy version said... "so, it's an icecream eating contest huh? Well game on children!" Then he ate real fast until he got a brain freeze & fell to the floor. after they finished eating, Spike offered to pay. "No, no, no, let me, you obviously wanted to buy this without thinking." "No, I actaully can afford it, my mom gives me big allowences." "Really? Twilight doesn't look that rich?" "My mom is Princess Celestia, Twilight is more like a sister." "GASP!" She then got down to the floor & before she bowed down... "Woah, I'm not a prince I rejected that title so i can make friends the traditional way/" "Oh, heh." She was embarresed. After they payed, they rented some skates & skated around the rink, doing moves that put all the couples there to shame. These 2 were having the time of their lives & were coming to terms with something they both have realized meanwhile... "Diamond Tiara, you have dissapointed me for the last time, so for now on, my fortune after I die will be going to your older brother, Crazy Rich!" "(FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!)" She thought. "I love you." The couple said to eachother and as they kissed, Diamond Tiara hung herself out of pointless frustration, the end. "Well, the ending was very messed at the end, but she got what was coming to her if she continued her trail of being a how do you say jerk, Bic Mac, you are free to go." "Bess oo rin-ess." He said, with a sore tongue. "Now, I'll be turning on the T.V. next letter!" "Right away." The guard said, as Princess Luna was watching the Cleveland Show. "Maybe your not a racist dick, maybe your just a dick!" "HAHAHAHAHA, most amuzing!" "(Can't she put that loud voice to rest? Jeez, I promised Spike, i'd take a day off to play with him tomorrow, but you're being so loud!)" Celestia thought.
Ch.7: The Feminen Side to Chaos.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.7: The Feminen Side to Chaos."Alright, I've read the letter after you clicked to this chapter, it seems the Spike will be shipped with Eris, the R63 Discord." "Oh my, the R63'd me?" Said Discord in drags. "Take a hike!" said Deezutra. "Hey, since when did you get here?" "I've always been here, I was standing there beetween the bookshelf and potted plant." "Let's just get the story started already & Discord if you turn our world into Kuzco's doodles while I'm reading, I sware I'm gonna kick your ass so hard that you'll be going to the bathroom like All the way up anus Pewtershmidt." "Discord, for taking pictures of the Canterlot females in the hotspring, you'll have to face a severe punishment!" Princess Celestia said with the rage of a fire type Pokemon! "Oh my, banishment to the moon? Okay, I got my astronaut suit on, fire when ready Tia!" Discord gave no fuck to. "No, you are going to see what life is like, as a woman!" "WHAT!!!" "Sayonara Discord, Hello Eris!" "Now, now, now, Princess Tyrant, I'm sure there's a logical conclusion we can...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Discord was getting zapped if you were wondering. After that, he became draconequess female. "Aw woman!" You get the joke right? because instead of aw man, it's aw woman? "Now goodbye Eris!" Princess Celestia then pulled a lever next to her thrown & ejected Eris out of her castle. "I'll find a way to get revenge, you'll see!" She cried out while being flinged into the air! Meanwhile... "Oh, how I love dusting my Super Sentai & Kamen Rider figurines." Spike sang to himself. "Alright, now that the last chore is done, time to go help Pinkie Pie test out her new recipe of cupcakes, still, I wonder where Rainbow dash has been, I haven't seen her since this morning." As Spike opened the door he could her a female voice screaming. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh..." He looked up and saw Eris falling out of the sky, Spike made sure he was in her shadow & succesfully caught her. "Woah, that was close lad...wait, Discord is that you?" "No, according to your tyrant of a mom, I go by Eris now!" "Hey, hey, hey those theories of mom being a tyrant were all disproved by Dr.Whooves." "I know, but now I have to spend the rest of my life, as a woman, & by look of things, a rather diminuative one at that." "It's not that bad being short, at least the citizens will call you cute." Spike tried reassuring a very unamused Eris. "I guess..." Then she started thinking something in her head. "(Hmm...how do you like me becoming princess Eris after marrying your son huh, Princess Dorkia Mwuahahahahahahahaha!)" "Um Eris? are you okay? You zoned out for a while there." "I'm fine, but Spike...I don't think Rarity is the right girl for you." "How do you know? Rarity is perfect i'm sure I can woo her if I tried and blah blah blah...." While Spike was spouting useless info he's told all of his friends before, Eris shut him the buck up,snapping her fingers & ended up wearing a maid outfit with a very short mini skirt, exposing her white panties, she even made herself a F-cup, and for good measure made bedroom eyes at Spike, what's worse, she teleported them to Twilight's bedroom with the door & windows shut tight, no escape. "You shouldn't be chasing after a girl like Rarity, when you should instead be going for a woman like me..." she then put her mouth to his earfin. "...Spi-key Wi-key." "Woah back off, i've known you as a guy, & it's gonna be very awkward for me, so I must..." She then pulled up her skirt. "But Shrimpy, I'm all wet, see?" "Woah, back off." "Sorry, dragonboy, but I locked every exit, there's o way you're gonna run from me." with another snap, there were condoms on Twilight's nightstand & she was nude which would've been normal, except for her twin moutains awakening something within Spike. "Hey, you stay down there, we are not Glen Quagmire who is unable to tell the difference." "Aw, now you've hurt my feelings." she teased while walking closer & closer, until she backed him into a corner & started rubbbing her breasts against his chest. she wrapped her arms around Spike's body. Shivers ran through Spike's body like marathon runner. With one more snap.......................................................................................... Later... "Oh yes, that was great!" said Eris. "...Love you." was all Spike could say. "Love yah too kid." She said while smoking a cigarette in one hand & hooking her oother arm around Spike's back. "Crap!" Celestia said in annoyance. "These stories just got very dark in some parts, but now it's tme for the next letter, please." "As you wish your majesty."
Ch.8: Getting Into some Deep Do-do.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.8: Getting Into some Deep Do-do."You know, it's getting kinda boring waiting so long, so I'll get the next letter next time." "Here you go yuor highness!" "Hm... well, it looks like Spike will be shipped with famous author A.K. Yearling. AKA Daring Do!" "Wow, I've always wanted to meet A.K. Yearling, her books are the best, it's as if the stories are real!" Spike said with much enthusiam & eagerness as he waited in line for A.K. Yearling to sign his favorite volume of the Daring Do series. "Yeeeeaaah, very realistic." Rainbow Dash said with an awkward face & voice Finally, it was now his turn to get A.K.'s autograph. "You're books are the best Ms.Yearling." "Thanks, I know my book are popular with Equines of all kind, Minotuars, and the occasional Goblin, but I never knew dragons liked my books as well." She said with a tired but happy expression. (Hey, she's been signing books all day long since 12 in the morning, there were about over 718 ponies & other creatures. Well, I digress.) "In fact, you maybe the only dragon I've ever met who actually reads." "Well, I was raised by ponies & they raised me right." "I concur, so you want to spend the day with me tomorrow? I don't leave till monday." "I get to hang out with a famous author? Why would I pass up that chance? Okay, meet me at Sugarcube Corner at exactly 1:30 tomorrow! Bye!" "See you." Spike exited the bookstore A.K. Yearling was signing her books at & Rainbow Dash was waiting right outside. "What took you so long sport?" "Sorry, I was having a chat with A.K. Yearling." "Eh, well anyway, let's go back to our home." You are probably wondering why the word our is underlined, well that's because Twilight Sparkle was assassinated & in her will stated that the custody of spike will be shared between A.J., Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash. Still, Spike saw the silouhette of the assassin & will never forget those evil blue eyes! So tomorrow came, & A.K. was waiting outside the exact place at the exact time & saw Spike running over from a distance, but hey, since it was Rainbow Dash's week to watch him, & Rainbow's house is far away from Ponyville, you saw Griffon the Brush-off right? It would make sence for Spike to go run & not keep a lady waiting. "Y-you're here." Spike said with huffs & puffs. "Why do you sound so suprised?" she asked in confusion. "I'm always stood-up by dates, I was worried friends would be the same, I even get trolled a bunch of times by her highness, Princess Celestia." He was very sad, but got over it & perked up becasue he was in the prescence of a celebrity. "(Aw, poor guy.)" Daring thought with much pity. 'Hey, would you please show me you're favorite spots in town?" "Yes, I will Ms..." He was cutoff "Please, just call me A.K., calling me Ms. makes me feel like an old woman." (She's 47 get it, like an AK47? LOL!)" "Oh, sorry A.K. but anyways, follow me." So Spike led her to all of his favorite places. A.K. Yearling was having lots of fun. "Wow, I never realized a pony as old as me can still have this much fun." "What do you mean?" "Well, I've never taken a break from wri..." She was cutoff. "No, I mean, what do you mean by old? You don't look old, infact, you have the face of a young adult." She became very red from Spike's kind compliments, because she's always going around the world, and all of the creatures met, always called her old. That's when they were ambushed by Ahuizotle's cats! *GASP!* Spike gasped. "Those blue eyes on the house cat..." He recognized those evilly adorable eyes! "He'e the one who killed Twilight!" Spike became very angry, with the rage of a demon! "What, the? What are you guys doing here?" Asked A.K. The Polecat gave her a scroll which she read out loud: "Dear Daring Do, thanks to your latest triumph over our master, he's become so depressed that he's not dong anything anymore & as part of our 2 part plan of revenge, we decided to start off by killing a princess, then killing you!" "Wait, did that scroll say.. you're..." "Yes! I'm Daring Do!" then she took off her regular clothes exposing her adventure clothing, then she put on a pith helmet! "Woah, so the stories are real! But still, that cat is under arrest for assassinating my mom!" Then a fight broke out & our heroes came out victorious! Spike hugged Daring Do, which she returned. "Thank you, now Twilight can finally rest in peace, but I still feel empty inside!" "How's about I fill that void." Then without warning she kissed him and he returned that just like when she returned the hug. "...Oh what? Heh, sorry I wasn't paying attention, well, it was very interesting, I sure hope her next book is about her getting a love interest, *giggle* I'll get the next letter.' Author's Note The part about the 718 is a reference to the number of Pokemon in the pokedex, but then someone hacked into the game's code finding 3 more meaning that there is 721 in all.
Ch.9: I Love you Aunt Luna.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.9: I Love you Aunt Luna.She made the next letter magically appear. "Oh my, I know the story is staring me & Spike, but must we do a chapter about me & him?" She said with the grace of an actor. "My... it's unthinkable, me & my nephew, but we are after all not related by blood, maybe I could think of it like the anime Kiss X Sis, starring twin teenage girls Ako & Riko who are in love with their younger step-brother Keita." "Umm could you please knock it off with the fake drama, we got a story to tell." said a soldier who was passing by. "Oh yeah, your sister wants you to shut-up." "I will not shut-up, and I will tell the story." This story takes place in season 1 just so you know I think maybe during Look Before you Sleep . So anyway, Spike was at Canterlot Castle, enjoying running around his old home, all the guards waving to him & him waving back, all the while the guards say "Celestia's son is so adorable, I wish I could be the father/mother of a dragon." Spike then stopped at Luna's new bedroom in the castle, his mom Celestia told him that his new auntie was resting in there taking a nap & he decided to sneak in & sleep with her, you know what I mean by sleep right? Not the sex kind of sleep, just the sharing the same bed kind of sleep.Just wanted to clarify. So Spike sneaked into the room and gently shut the door, then he slowly entered the blanket made of the finest of silk, compliments of Rarity, who at this point should be making the shmores (I'm not sure how to spell that sadly. I apologize.). He then managed to get both of her front hooves around him and he put his claws around her body. Yep, I bet you're all gonna comment that he's being a creeper. Luna was unaware of what was going on, but didn't care, she was enjoying the warmth of Spike's sleeping body. A little while later she woke-up to see such a cute face. Spike awoke just as she did. She didn't care there was someone with her in bed, the creature was so cute. "Hi Aunt Luna." "Little one, dost thou call me aunt Luna?" "Why yes, Mom didn't tell you I'm her well, heh, 2nd son?" "Well, she did speak of a dragon being her child, but what are you doing here?" "Well, I'm here on royal business, but I wanted to meet you 1st." Spike then nuzzled her cheek. "Wow, you are so beautiful, I can't believe mommy never told me about you." She blushed at the compliment "(Now, now Luna don't be thinking of the animes you've watched with family members falling for each other, that is wrong, and, and...well, he is adopted, as I remember correctly, Tia did break it off with that one dragon since they were going nowhere, so he's not blood...well, sometimes in anime blood relatives do fall for eachother.)" She thought to herself. "Tell me dragon child, what's thine name." "I'm Spike." "(Cutest name ever to give to a baby dragon... hold-on, As I recall, during me & Tia's childhood there was this one pink baby dragon named Spike & then during our teenage years, there was this one blue violet dragon named Spike, strange...) Nephew Spike." She then began "Yes aunt Luna?" "Kiss me, it's normal for family members to kiss is it not?" "Oh, okay!" Spike then went for her cheek. "No,no,no. Not there, on the lips, it doesn't count as a 1st kiss on the lips if it's with family." She requested. "If you say so." Then the both of their lips met. Yep, the Luna version of Molestia everyone. Spike was oblivious to what she was doing & she was enjoying the rather exhilarating moment. Then they released. "Wow!" She squeed "Huh?" "Oh nothing...say, do you have a crush on somepony? If you want, we could help you practice kissing in case you get a chance to kiss her." She offered. "You'd do that? Wow, you are the best pony and princess! I love you aunt Luna!" "We love you too nephew." So, after that, they've been practicing kissing as Luna would point it out, very soon, Rarity said no to Spike and went out with Breaburn, On the bright side, well, her bright side, Luna didn't help Spike practice sex yet. So I bet you know what happens next! Hint, hint. "..." "Um Luna?" Luna wasn't paying attention she was lost in the romantic fantasies she now had for Spike.
Ch.10: Peace Offering.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.10: Peace Offering."Ah, here we go, another letter... and it's from the author! Let's see... Oh my, he wants us to ship Spike with Chrysalis! Very well." "NO MOMMY! You can't do this to me!" Spike pleaded. "I'm sorry my one & only son, but it is the only way. You have as much love as Cadence and that love you have for us all will feed them, but not kill you! Spike, you must do this... for all of us." She then started to cry, because she didn't want to do this, but her responsibility as a princess outweighed her responsibility as a mother. If she wasn't a princess, then she'd be able to live a regular life. Poor Spike & Celestia! A mother being forced with no other option left, but to give her own child away as a peace offering to Queen Chrysalis, the ruler of the changelings. Then, 2 changelings arrived to escort him to the changeling hive. Spike was certain his life with love was over, but when he got to the hive's castle... "Oof!" Spike said with a thud. He got up to find that Chrysalis was hugging him. "The man I've been waiting for finally arrives! Do you realize how boring it is here for me? Now that you're here, let me show you around, I actually need your help to boost morale in here & helping out everypony who can't help themselves in this hive. Doing that should make all the changelings here feel love for you & that love should be enough to feed them! Besides, who wouldn't love a face like that? I know I love a face like that when I 1st asked Celestia for you as a peace offering." "Wait, you're plan is to make the Changelings eat their own love?" "Why yes, my husband." "Wait what?" "You heard what I said, I plan on making you the king after we've made all these boring, dull, and sad faces perk-up." "Hey!" Said a passing changeling. "Talking back to the queen, that just threw you into the guillotine." Then, the changeling was taken to another room. "So, will you be willing to save Equestria and all other kingdoms by making the changelings eat their own love?" "Yes, I will!" Meanwhile... "I say we break in their, decimate every changeling that stands in our way, and free Spike from The Queen's tyranny!" Suggested Rainbow Dash. "Yeah!" Agreed, A.J., Pinkie, Rarity and for some reason, Snowflake was in the library as well, agreeing with them. "Also, if we manage to capture their queen, let's use the guillotine on her!" Pinkie added! "Wait, we gotta th..." A smack came to her face "Twilight, Spike has been kidnapped by the changelings and we've gathered all of the friends willing to assist us in rescuing him, they must already feeding on the poor little guy, he's obviously in the worst pain of his life! Thinking for a plan is over!" Rainbow said, with the most serious of faces ever! All the friends who were gathered to save Spike were as followed: The CMC, Snowflake, Derpy and the Dr., Shogun Deezutra along with his 6 Fire starters, Dan from Dan Vs., Trixie, Breaburn, the buffaloes, Big Mac, Trahzo AKA Rainbow Ranger (He's from my very 1st story, and I wanted him to make a cameo.), the Powerpuff Girls, the pets wanted in on the action as well, Flash Sentry, Daring Do, Spitfire & Soarin because they both owe Rainbow Dash a favor, Jappleack, Lightning Dust, Deadpool, and finally, Riz (He's one of my followers). Twilight looked at the mixed matched group they have for this rescue mission, then looked at Dash & the rest of the mane 6! "Okay, you're right, the time for thinking is over!" "Alright, come-on everypony, and creatures who aren't ponies!" "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" chanted the group. "Don't worry Spike, we're coming for you!" Meanwhile... "Huzzah for Spike the dragon!" The changelings bellowed from across the cave, all smiling with glee, Spike has managed to help them make their own food! "Huzzah, in deed little one!" Chrysalis then pecked him on the cheek. Spike blushed a little, but it got bigger, with a suprise kiss to the lips. "Come, we must go!" "Go where?" "To my, or rather, our bed chamber!" She then winked. Spike was actually have lots of fun, I mean, sure he can't see his friends anymore, but still. Then when, they got to "their" bedroom, Chrysalis spoke. "Spike?" "Yes, Chrysalis?" "Are you okay with me making you my king, even though you don't like me?" "What? Why would you say that? I'm okay with it, at 1st I thought you guys were gonna eat all of my love, but that's when mom trolled me when I got here! She said that all of you were gonna eat all my love because I have as much as my cousin Cadence. But why would she do that?" "So we'll have guests at the wedding, so they'll know that everything is okay here!" "Really." "Precisely son!" Said Princess Celestia coming out from the shadows. "Ah! Mom?" "You're probably confused aren't you?" "If there was a word that's stronger than confused, I'd use it!" Spike replied. "So, could you explain to me what you're elaborate plan was?" "For you to rule your own Kingdom. Spike, you have the sweetest heart out of any other dragon in Equestria, that alone is why I thought you could have a kingdom, but not alone, even though Cadence was a worthy princess, I wouldn't let her own her own Kingdom unless she had a co-ruler, but I made sure that part was left, unknown. Since she's married to Shining Armor, that's why I sent her to rule the Crystal Empire, and now, since Chrysalis loves you Spike, you do love Spike, right?" "Of course, don't you see me, eating my own love for him?" Spike and Celestia shared a chuckle. "As I was saying I thought of you as worthy and since she loves you, that's why I want you to rule this kingdom." "Wow, that's pretty genius, so when Twilight finally gets the courage to propose to Flash Sentry, you'll give her a kingdom as well?" "Of course, now, I must be going, I have to find the appropriate clothing to wear, see you at the wedding." "Okay, now that she's gone." Chrysalis then pounced at Spike and got his face all messed up with lipstick. So days passed for the planning and the wedding finally happened. Meanwhile... "CHAAAAARGE!!!" said Twilight and everyone came running behind her, entering through the front entrance. They all were about to engage in assault, but the changelings just passed by them flying, laughing, and playing. They were very confused by this. That's when Princess Celestia appeared. "Oh, why hello Twilight, come-on, the wedding is going to begin in any minute now." "Huh?" "Oh, and bring the others with you!" So they all followed Princess Celestia to what I think was a cathedral. They were all stopped by an usher who asked if they were friends with the bride or groom, Celestia told him they were all friends with the groom. He let them all in, and to their surprise, Spike was getting married to Chrysalis. It seems Spike was okay, he didn't need them to save him. So they congratulated him on getting married and being crowned king. Then Spike and Chrysalis went back to their room to consulate the marriage. months later, Queen Chrysalis laid a bunch of eggs which hatched into Dragon Changeling crossbreeds, what would that look like I wonder, I bet someone already made a fan baby for this ship, eh, I'll check later on deviantart. "Wow, such a confusing chapter, but all well, I'm starting to feel lazy again, guard, get me the next letter." "Yes, you're highness." Author's Note I just love the guillotine!
Ch.11: Talon and Claw.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.11: Talon and Claw."Soon, and I mean soon, will FINALLY...oh, isn't this awkward? I forgot that you're still there." A depressed, sad griffin was seen roaming around the Everfree Forest. She had just lost her best friend, because she was stubborn, even more than her! However Gilda was fortunate, for she wasn't the only one roaming these forests, as soon as she decided to take a nap in a clearing, playful sounds of someone swinging on the vines could be heard! It was Spike, he was sent on a mission by Twilight Sparkle to find Owlouiscous a fine tree to place a nest, because he found a mate, which resulted in him wanting to move out and Twilight agreed, but when Spike found a vine, he became completely side tracked because swinging on vines is very fun, well, at least until he grabbed onto a snake, and was now not swinging onto anything because he was now falling and also, he didn't watch out for that tree, good job George of the Jungle! Strange right? He's suppose to be very focused, but hey, he's still a child. Spike bounced of the tree & landed on a napping Gilda's back, causing her to jump in surprise! Spike slid off her back and they were running in circles screaming until they got bored of it and just stopped. "Hey, I know you." they both said simultaneously. "You're Spice right? I only heard your name once from my welcome party to Ponyville." "No, it's Spike, and hey, you're Gilda, that Party pooping jerk who doesn't know when to take a joke." "HEY! I had no idea Rainbow Dash set those pranks & I had no idea about how embarrassing it is when you're the victim of a prank." she snapped. "Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, Dash wouldn't have stopped being you're f..." Then something came out from behind because it heard their loud conversation! "W-what's that?" It was a wood golem! The wood golem was going to attack them, but Spike countered the punch by burning it's fist. The wood golem shrieked in pain. then Gilda decided to shut the monster's mouth up! She punched, kicked, and slashed at the creature. The fire then spread all over, the wood golem then died and all that remained was ash, Spike smiled at Gilda, but Gilda was just keeping a strait face, not trying to look excited they killed a creature from the Everfree Forest that towered over them. But, one look into each others eyes made them realize what they had to do! So, Spike & Gilda opened a secret organization where they fight to protect innocent ponies & other creatures from monsters, for a reasonable fee of course, and as the years went by, more & more members joined their organization, because they all thought Celestia was being as useless as the cops from our world. Still, the members all had great abilities that profited them greatly, like for example, a pony with enough flexibility to squeeze through a beastly thin opening (Yes, it's Blossom Forth), or a Minotuar who was a master gymnast. Also, during those years, whenever Spike & Gilda went on a mission together, Spike always had to save her & she would blush whenever he picked her up when she was tied up. Also, Spike would sometimes steal a look at a certain area. These 2 were very shy to express themselves to each other, but after Gilda's mom encouraged her & Rarity encouraging Spike, yeah, she was saying that whole never give up even though you're 1st crush got with someone else speech, because Twilight never dated in her life, so she couldn't help. So, when Spike was a legal adult by Ponyville standards, he proposed, and Gilda accepted. After the wedding, these 2 took Talon & Claw, then walked to the carriage waiting for them, to take the happy newlyweds to a suite, a high luxury one no less, since Twilight is a princess, she was allowed to get anything she wanted, and used that title to get that luxurious hotel, which was 10x more luxurious then Luigi's mustache. "Hey, that's mean!" said Luigi "Shut-up dude, your year is almost over, but hey, you did a great job." "Yeah, I guess." Anyway, Spike & Gilda couldn't have been any happier than in the arms of eachother. So, they spent the rest of their lives together, with Talon & Claw. "Amusing, I especially liked the part where Luigi showed-up, I sometimes feel overshadowed by my own older sibling, but at least lots of fans love us, hey, maybe next year could be the year of Princess Luna! Yes, let's do it, the year of me. Right after this story's last chapter is over."
Ch.12: The Strong Heart of a Dragon.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.12: The Strong Heart of a Dragon."Okay, after reading, this is in fact the 3rd time Fatboi1000 suggested something, come-on you guys, there's gotta be a ship you've always wanted to see, like maybe Spike the dog & Opal or something? I don't know, it's gotta be strait, not a crossover, nor an OC. Now, let's just get to it already, so Spike will be shipped with Little Strongheart, okay begin." "Spike, you are the one I trust with the highest of respect to save Little Strongheart from the Chaos Thunderbird of Extreme Rage!" Said Chief Thunder Hooves. You maybe wondering what the Chaos Thunderbird of Extreme Rage is huh? Well, it's this ancient evil being that attacks the buffalo every 500 years, it is said for generations that in order for it to never attack anymore ever again, a male chosen by the tribe must traverse the mountain filled with dangers and if he manages to defeat this beast with the long name I don't want to type & brings the maiden it captures back, then the tribe will be eternally safe. So, Chief Thunder Hooves chose Spike because he knows of the tremendous power dragons posses. With Spike, he has high hopes that he'll save them all. He may even get lucky with Little Strongheart. Don't worry, Spike's a teenager in this chapter. So Spike, with his bag of tricks (Recycled from a previous story were I ship Spike with Zecora), traversed the mountain, fighting off the marauders, cannibals, various lethal predators, he even took on a bunch of Cactuars. For those of you who don't know what they are, Cactuars are an enemy from Final Fantasy (All Versions). He pulled out a hard hat to prevent his head from being hit by rocks, He used repellent for those annoying dessert insects. Used steel cleats to hold him down, so he didn't shake when the ground shook. Answered various trivia questions so he didn't have to fight gangs of bandits who camped out there. burned down walls of Cacti blocking his path, he even accidentally burned a Cacturn and angered it. For those of you who don't know what a Cacturn is, they are a Grass-Dark type Pokemon from Generation 3 or is that Dark-Grass? Oh well, the point is, he made it to the top of the mountain where the Chaos Thunderbird of Extreme Rage was sleeping. Little Strongheart was in a cage and the key to that cage was right next to her. Spike tiptoed ever so quietly to the cage, not trying to make any noise that could alert that big bird. Oh how he was relieved he was gonna ... *WHAM!* A booby trap punched the dragon in the lower jaw. The Bird shifted a little bit, but was back to resting. Spike caressed his jaw, now he had to somehow get to the key without walking. Um he's a teenage dragon hello, they can fly over. So he did just that. He got the key, unlocked the door, Little Strongheart gently opened the cage door, and crept silently to out of it, but then... *POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!* Another booby trap activated and hit her, causing a loud grunt which awakened The CTBoER (Chaos Thunderbird of Extreme Rage for short heh, I'm going to great lengths to not spell this name again, or just do it faster somehow.), now it wasn't called Extreme Rage for nothing, it was charging up a-lot of electricity & Oh, I mean a-lot! Spike managed to calm it's nerves with some bird-seeds that he threw to the ground, then smothered them in honey. There was no-way in Tartarus that it will resist the best bird seeds of Canterlot. While it was distracted, Spike imitated something he saw Freedy do once in What's New Scooby Doo. A bunch of fallen branches, some leaves, and a piece of gum peeled right off of his shoe, and voila, a hand glider for 2. Spike and Little Strongheart, jumped off the edge of the mountain and glided back to the tribe just in time for supper. The tribe all cheered because Spike became their hero and his tale will be told for many generations, I sure hope the next generation of Mlp will be just as good as the current one. "Spike, you have saved everyone from an eternal nightmare, we, thank you! Now you may marry Little Strongheart." Thanked The Chief. "Wait, did you just say marry?" "Yes, in order to finish the ceremony for our eternal safety, the hero must marry the maiden, you don't mind do you Little Strongheart?" "Not at all. Mr.Spike, I always wanted to you as a boyfriend, but now I get to have you as a husband, which is so much better." Hah, what had he gotten himself into, but hey, he's an honorable man, and would willingly follow any rule, even if that meant marrying a girl that he hardly knew. On the bright side, they get to use the time they now have as a married couple to learn everything about one another, she even agreed to go back with him to Ponyville. When Pinkie learned of the many things that took place, she didn't just have 1 big party, she had 4 of them. I have no idea what the other 3 were for, but I shouldn't think about it because Pinkie makes no sense like the mayor of Townsville. Wait a minute...Ponyville-Townsville and they both have a mayor named mayor...The references they keep on making & I feel like I'm the only one who notices them oh Celestia & Arceus. So, Spike and Little Strongheart arranged to have Twilight create 2 more rooms in the library with her magic. One room for them & one room for their child. also, as a story cliche, they all lived happily ever after the end. "Hmm. Not one of you're best chapters, but there's gotta be at least one where Spike saves somepony. I guess, next letter please!" Author's Note Man, I referenced a-lot of things in this chapter didn't I?
Ch.Thirteen: It's Okay to be Different.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.Thirteen: It's Okay to be Different."Woah, Endorf just destroyed Dogold from the inside, well he's actually a living suit of armor who posses strong fighters, but still, I guess hatred is stronger than rage." If you guys are wondering what the hell she's talking about, then watch brave 42 which is episode 42 of Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger. "Princess, break time is over." A guard told her. I'll get back to this right after this.. him and that mailmare?" Spike was walking through the park, enjoying the air which would've been fresh if that jerk wasn't smoking 9 whole cigars the size of toothpaste tubes! Geez this guy is gonna have cancer in 3, 2, and he's dead. Wait, you guys are here to read a story, not listen to me complain. So yeah, he was enjoying a cooling off by splashing water in his face from the fountain & he really needs it he's been annoyed all day by the 2 idiots known only as Retard & Even Bigger Retard! *Whisper* "Oh, my bad, I meant to say Snips & Snails, he was about to leave until a gray colored Pegasus with a blond mane & tail crashed onto him, he managed to regain consciousness in 3 seconds & pry the right off of him. "Hey, I know you, you're Derpy Hooves, the local mailmare." "Thanks, it's nice to know somepony recognizing me for my job, not my medical condition, even if it is a non pony citizen." She then started shedding tears. "Hey, you okay? Was it something I said that offended you? If it is, then I take it back." "Sniff, it's not you it's just that my boyfriend when back home, everypony started making fun of me again." She said with a sad squeak. "Hey, just ignore those ponies who make fun of your, just don't mind them, then they'll leave you alone." "That wont stop the mean insults." "trust me, they will forget & hey, could you please get your head out of your mane, how am I supposed to talk to you if I can't see your face?" "Oh yeah? How is anypony ever going to forget these eyes!" She snapped. "There you see, nopony will ever forget eyes messed up like these." She then revealed her face it was so pretty, that he didn't mind the eyes. "I don't see any messed up eyes, in fact, it makes your pretty face look even prettier." That there is what made Cupid shoot Derpy Hooves, with love vertigo bullets. She was never called pretty or any synonym of the word in her entire life until she met the Doctor. Safely, now that he's back in the human world , there was no-one to protect her, but this fateful encounter with a very nice drake. Who also doesn't care if she does have wall eyes. Upon instinct, she grabbed Spike & squeed while squeezing him. she then began flying up into the air & putting Spike on top of a mountain overlooking Ponyville. "Hey, why'd you fly all the way up here?" "So I can smooch you without any restraint." Then her tongue drooped from her mouth as she inched closer & closer to Spike, ignoring Shogun Deezutra's command to get off his lawn. Then Derpy dug right in if you will into Spike's face. "My, my. She had wall eyes? I've never ever noticed & I go to Ponyville a few times to discuss the approval of off some really mature games since tons of my fans live in Ponyville & I want them to worship me even more no matter what, I'd even accept them clopping to my R34."
Ch.14: Here Doggy Doggy Woof-Woof!View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.14: Here Doggy Doggy Woof-Woof!"Woah, Superman can make his heat rays become microscopic?" She was watching Death Battle: Goku Vs. Superman. "Your highness." "Oh, okay I'll pause this. So this time we got Spike the dog & Winona. Oh, we all knew this shipping would happen the day we figured out Spike was a dog in Equestria Girls, and eversince then, there have been fan pictures & Fan fictions of Spike terrified of Winona's affection, much like Garu being afraid of Pucca's affection." "Help, help, help!" Spike cried in fear, he was being chased by something, it was big, it was on 4 legs, it was brown & white, it was female, it was a dog just like him! It was a horny Winona who really wants to mate with Spike since he's the only dog in the city who hasn't been neutered yet because of Twilight's refusal to have him be neutered. She wants Spike to have kids before going through the really painful procedure. We all know that would never happen because he's in love with Rarity and she can't have kids with him! Anyway, Winona was running right next to Spike, he tried running faster but that's as much as he could haul. Winona then ran in front of him, and wham! XX minutes later... "Ugh...where am I?" Spike awoke to find him inside a shed. Then the door opened revealing Applejack & Twilight. "Oh, finally we've caught you Spike." Said his master. "Now please, make some puppies with Winona here." She stepped aside to reveal Winona. As Spike tried to run, he found that one of his paws were chained down to the floor. "Just be a good boy & I promise not to neuter you boy." "Yeah, and Winona's been so lonely, just look at how wet she is." Winona then turned so her ass was facing Spike. A.J. lifted Winona's tail exposing the dog's pussy! (A dog having a pussy, isn't that just funny?"). It was dripping wet. "Oh, looks like someone's getting attracted to this." "I concur." They could both notice Spike's penis getting erect. "Shut-up narrator we already know what's going on." said Spike...hey! I was gonna tell the reader how you made a fantastic escape and moved with Rarity to the Kalos Region, I mean France! Fine, if you wanna be rude, then I'll make you suffer more than when people suffer from Miley Cyrus' singing. Applejack, could you please command your dog to make it painful for a week? "Sure thing Mr.Narrator. Winona, make it as hard & rough as you can make it till next Thursday." Wait, it's Thursday? Man do I hate Thursdays! Now I'm even more mad! So Applejack & Twilight left the shed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Spike shrieked. then for a whole week, Winona & Spike got..it...ON! Then their owners returned to find a mentally scarred Spike & a satisfied Winona. "Don't worry Twi, I'll pay for therapy." "Thanks & I'll go arrange the doggy wedding. hee-hee! Oh, I wonder who should be Spike's best man? The Fireman or Shining Armor?" "Has anypony been noticing how many members of the Apple Family my nephew's been shipped with? I mean dang!" Author's Note By God, we've shipped Spike with AppleJack, Applebloom, Babs Seed, and now Winona! Who's the next one in the Apple Family to be shipped with him? I bet one day someone will write a story where Spike's harem is the entire fucking Apple Family, which also includes the men in the family! What the fuck everyone? What The Fucking fuck?
Ch.15:Now was it Raining Dogs & Frogs or Cats & Dogs and Harold from Billy & MandyView OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.15:Now was it Raining Dogs & Frogs or Cats & Dogs and Harold from Billy & Mandy"...Well, looks like the next story will be a ship between opposites. By that I mean Spike the dog with Rarity's cat Opal!" Spike & Twilight, hold on before I continue... *deep breath* I hope never have to do another Equestria Girls Chapter ever again after this. Spike & Twilight entered Rarity's boutique. "Oh Twilight, hello darling and it seems you brought Spike with you, and good thing to, Opal has been so lonely without her forbidden love boyfriend." "Yeah, I just thought that since these 2 make quite the cute inter-species couple, I thought why not bring Spike along with me for our slumber party." Spike & Opal have been in love ever since he saved her from a bunch of stray dogs when she was going for a walk by herself. Opal was informed that the docks were going to throw back some small fish if the cats in the city didn't get there at 6:00, she was just 1 block away until the dog version of Garble & his 2 cohorts attacked her but that's when Spike along with Owlowisciuos, Tank, Gummy, Winona, and Angel all came & rescued her but of course, Spike took down the top dog Garble. Then they became a couple even though all the other pets around the city didn't approve, which included those pets from Littlest Pet Shop. Even if the pet community didn't agree & a few citizens who know of their relationship are confused of rather their kids would either be Cogs, Dats, Doat, or Caog, it didn't matter to them, because they were in love. Also, I think dog/cat crossbreeds would be called Pussyhounds, thanks to Vinny from Family Guy. Man, I thought he was gonna a permanent character, I thought it was going to be the start era, but I guess not. Also, yeah, Twilight was at Rarity's for a slumber party with the girls & apparently, it was raining. Also, if you look outside you could see Harold from Billy & Mandy being pulled around by the strong howling winds. Opal then had Spike follow her to her cat bed. "Have a romantic evening you 2 darlings." Cooed Rarity. "Aw, aren't they just precious?" Twilight added. Now that no-one, well except us was looking. Spike and Opal put the blanket over their bodies, wrapped their front legs around each other & began making-out with tongue. Then things started getting even more intense as the seconds went by. Their tongues coiling and uncoiling at the same time. Opal's puss, just flowing, and Spike's D getting harder, then the time came where they spent the next 2 hours doing things I'm sure you all know what they are doing. Meanwhile... "Okay Pinkie, truth or dare?" Asked Rainbow Dash. Then loud howling and screeching could be heard from a distance. "What was that?" asked Sweetie Belle. "Oh don't worry, I can tell that they just finished." said Twilight. "Finished with what?" Asked Fluttershy. "I could tell you, but a girl never kisses and tells." Rarity answered with a wink. "Drat, they showed the kissing and genitalia, but they aren't showing the sex yet! Maybe a future chapter will feature Spike having sex and not implied the implied kind."
Ch.16: Cheerilee's Best Day-Off EverView OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.16: Cheerilee's Best Day-Off Ever"We'll be shipping Ms.Cheerilee this time." "Um, it was totally obvious from the title Luna & Also, you got an important notice from the author." Said Pinkie Pie while handing Luna the letter. "Hmm...so it seems the final chapter will be his idea as well! Also it seems he's doing that because of how much he loves the Ben 10 franchise and yes he even loves Omniverse even though many of you might say that nothing beats classics but he thinks otherwise." "What a lovely day Spike, how did you find out that this date would be perfect?" Asked a female voice. "I asked Rainbow Dash, she's always willing to help anypony." Answered Spike, wearing his pimp hat. " Besides, Cheerilee, you deserved a day off, don't worry, I know this nice teacher from Canterlot who agreed to sub for you." "Wow Spike, you sure planned out everything perfectly, a great spread, perfect weather, a nice teacher to sub for me, and this beautiful hill overlooking Ponyville. I wonder if this day could get any better?" Cheerilee wondered. Then music was heard from a distance, it was Fluttershy & her songbird choir accompanied by Pinkie and her one pony band of 10 instruments. Then Spike and Ms.Cheerilee started dancing, while holding each others front appendages. (That's arms and legs if you're wondering what it meant.) Then at the big finale, Spike and Cheerilee fell to the ground and shared a short laugh. These 2 ate and talked. She couldn't get enough of Spike's cooking, it was the best she's ever tasted. Wow, I can't believe how good his cooking is & he's just a little guy, heh, I guess that's what happens when Princess Celestia teaches someone how to cook, the food is as beautiful as her. "Um excuse me, who are you?" Asked Spike. "Ignore me, I'm the narrator, I'm not even suppose to physically be here. So just let me take a couple of cupcakes & sponge-cakes then I'll be on my way." Then I jumped out of the scene. "That was weird, I never thought I'd see someone else do something I'd normally see Pinkie do." "Ditto." agreed Cheerilee Then she went back to uncontrollably eating the food Spike made. She then controlled herself after she realized she had stuffed 6 cookies in her mouth and a kid was watching her. Haha, that's setting a bad example of having bad manners! "Oh, sorry." Ha, she talked with her mouthful as well, more bad manners. "You're on a day-off, who cares what you do, no matter how uncouth." That word, was what made Spike sigh in a sad way. She noticed this. "Hey, what's wrong?" "Huh?" "Well, you sound sad." "Oh, well it's because... I don't want to bore you." "Come-on, if you talk about it, you'll fell better." "Fine...well, I originally planned this day for Rarity but when I asked her, she rejected thinking that it wouldn't be right & uncouth for just me, a child & her, an adult to Go-onger a picnic, I mean go-on a picnic alone together. She said, that it might cause negative gossip about her being a pedophile since everypony knew about my crush, but just hearing her say all of that just made me finally give-up on her." Spike then turned and cried. "Please don't look at me, it's not like a man to cry." Then she hugged him from behind. "Rarity's the uncouth one, she doesn't realize that you could make a great boyfriend, and I don't see any kid here, just a mature youngster." She said with a soothing tone. "Wow, you really know how to calm you're students down when they're upset, you are the greatest teacher in Equestria. You may also make one heck of a mother one day." "Well, that's only when I meet the right guy, who I think is right here with me." "You want to marry the narrator?" Spike joked. "Oh come-on Spike, you know who I'm talking about." "I know, I just have sort of a habit of being sarcastic, which I got from Twilight." "Oh Spike, you tease." "Hey, I see all the food is gone, & we've been here for 15 minutes." Cheerilee blushed because she couldn't control herself from Spike's cooking. "Sorry, it's just that..." She was cut-off. "Don't worry, Like I said, it's your day-off." "Well, since it's my day-off, I suppose you wouldn't mind if I did this!" She then pushed Spike down & Started kissing him, so he could taste the baked goods he made for himself. So of course Spike returned the kisses & became very happy. They spent the rest of the day just making out on the picnic blanket. Then they noticed that the sun was setting. "Well, guess it's time to pack-up." "Yes, thanks for making this a great day-off for me Spike, we gotta do this again sometime." "Yeah, but next time, I wont bring as much food I made with my own claws, I think I made you become addicted to it." "Okay, come here you." She then chased him around in circles playfully, and after 3 minutes, they packed-up & went their separate ways for now. "I gotta taste Spike's food sometime."
Ch.17: He Spits Fire & Her Name's SpitfireView OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.17: He Spits Fire & Her Name's SpitfireShe then read the letter. "The Captain of the Wonderbolts Spitfire, this time? I thought she was dating Soarin." "Um, Princess, they broke-up because Spitfire kept on misunderstanding Soarin's love of pie." said Shogun Deezutra. "Oh did they now you must give me details after the story is over?" Spike was online. Talking to his girlfriend, sadly they couldn't video-chat because she was too shy to see him. Yeah, there is some modern technology in this version of Equestria, but not the kind that would completely render Spike's scroll sending fire breath obsolete, but hey, how would you send a message, through fire breath, or by texting? "Say, we've been together for a year already." Typed his girlfriend. "Yeah, and?" he replied "I...I want to finally see you, kiss you, hug you, maybe even make love to you?" "I'm not sure about making love, I'm still a teenager." "But you said you're big sister home schools you!" "Hahaha, I was just joking, but you know, it's great that you're finally going to reveal you're self to me." "Yeah, but could we please meet somewhere fun? You said you lived in Ponyville right?" "Okay, we'll meet at Sugarcube Corner, just ask anypony in Ponyville, you'll get the directions bye dear." Then he signed off. Meanwhile on the other side...A Pegasus Mare with a coat and mane making her look like a living golden fire was sitting at her desk. "Oh Spike, you know I don't like nicknames." The Next Day... "I don't get it, she should be here." Said Pinkie. "That's because she lives in Canterlot, it's gonna take her a while." Spike told her. Minutes passed and she finally made it to the sweet shop. She noticed a sign that said Spike's girlfriend, I'm over here. She cantered over and was surprised to learn her boyfriend online was a dragon and a very handsome one at that. "S-Spike?" He turned around and dropped his jaw like it was hot! "Wait, a-are you?" He couldn't finish the sentence. "Yes, I'm the mystery mare you've been internet dating." "I'm Spitfire's boyfriend... the c-c-c-captain of the fucking Wonderbolts." Meanwhile in the confines of his mind, his brain shrieked loud enough that it sounded like a whisper outside of his mind: "I'M DATING A CELEBRITY!!!" "Did you hear that faint whisper?" "It's probably the draft I feel, Carrot Cake, one of the co-owners of this place promised to fix that later." "..." "Hm? Is something the matter?" "I just never realized I was dating such a handsome dragon or any dragon at all." "Aw, you flatter me." "Can I kiss and hug you?" "Of course, we are an IRL couple after all right?" "Right." She then sat next to him and they put their arms around eachother and kissed long enough so I can tell you about this one idiot in my 6th period class who thought sweat shop meant a type of Gym, then he tried explaining his logic by saying and I quote: "When you hear sweatshop, you'd usually think of a tread mill." Then everyone, even the teacher all shouted no, some of us even tried to individually explain what sweatshop meant. I think I remember the teacher smacked him. Oh my God, I can't control my laughter...Oh wait, they're done making out. They then pulled away from eachother. "Wow." Said Spitfire. "I know." Spike replied. "Want to do another IRL date sometime?" "Yes, but let's finish this one 1st." So the camera zoomed out of Sugarcube Corner and then out of Ponyville, then out of earth, then finally out of our solar system. "What's a sweatshop?"
Ch.18: What a Croc, I mean Twist.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.18: What a Croc, I mean Twist."My nephew will be shipped with that one kid I think everyone forgot about...Twist, yeah that's her name." *Sob* *Sob* *Sob* a poor filly cried from her backyard. She was sad because she sorta lost her BFF. I said sorta because they now seldom hang out. She had her cutiemark and her friend didn't. her friend was to busy trying to find her special talent & what's worse, she sorta got replaced by 2 others, I said sorta again because they are friends with her. Poor Twist cried till she heard a sound. *Cough* "Tell me again Twilight, why are we dressed as chickens?" "Pinkie said that 20 books appear in this spot every Sunday in spring if you dress-up as a spring chi...Okay, Pinkie is going to get her flank kicked, Spike I'll see you later." She then took off the costume and teleported. "Ugh, 3 dozen ponies laughed at us for squat." said Spike, while removing the head piece, He then heard someone laughing. Twist couldn't hold it in, it slipped out a few times. Spike was able to locate the laughing and found Twist in her sister's garden. "Oh, it's just you Twist, I thought Pinkie was waiting to jump out and surprise me." "No, it's just me." "Hey, why do your glasses look so moist? I know me & Twilight looked ridiculous, but not enough for someone to cry when laughing." "Oh, uh, uh..." She couldn't find an answer. "Don't lie to me, I've been able to see past them." *sigh*"Fine, the truth is I was crying because I've lost my Best Friend Applebloom." "What? Don't be silly Twist, there's no way Applebloom would stop being your friend." "But look, she's been hanging out with the crusaders more, I can't hang out with them because I already got my cutiemark." "Pardon my language, but I call bull crap on that." He then put a claw on her shoulder. "Twist, they are your friends, it doesn't matter if they don't have their marks and you do, so please, don't be so sad, okay? You look more adorkable smiling." "Hey, I'm not a dork." "Yeah, but you look like the stereotypical kind, later." "Wait, can you please stay? I really need someone to talk about my problems with." "Sure, I'm pretty sure Twilight is about halfway through with kicking Pinkie's ass." "Thanks." So they entered Twist's home & she explained how even though she got her mark, she feels very miserable because DT & SS still tease her for looking like a nerd & how they think she's got a crush on the teacher, which is a rumor they spread since the episode Hearts & Hooves Day. Even more harsh and unpleasant rumors were spread about her which I wont explain. She was crying on the couch while Spike caressed her head, giving her tissues to dry her tears and blow her nose. Don't you just feel bad about her? Then it came when Spike couldn't take anymore. "Twist, listen, you can't let those rumors get to you." "I try my best for the other ponies to believe me, but they don't" "Hey, how's about this? I'll enroll in you're school so I can protect you?" "Y-you'd do that for me?" "Yeah, back when I lived in Canterlot, there were negative rumors spread that my cousin Cadence was a whore & My cousin Blueblood was gay, but I sure showed those who started them. I was also able to convince everypony that Twilight wasn't a traitor." "Traitor?" "Well, everypony at 1st thought Twilight was a traitor because she chose to watch after me & *sigh* many citizens didn't like dragons that much, even the tiny ones. Still, I somehow managed to show everyone." "Wow, you're a great guy, I can't believe what Rarity is missing." "How'd yo..." "Everypony knows, it's very obvious dude." "Heh, hey you're special talent is making sweets right?" "Oh, you want some snacks? I'll make some right away?" After a few minutes, she returned with a plate of peppermint sticks and candy canes. "Enjoy friend." and so he did. "These are amazing, how did you make the curves on the candy canes?" "I used my own mouth to shape 'em." Spike stopped abruptly. "Huh? Hey what's wrong?" "So that's how you got the lisp." "Wait, what?" "Your lisp, it's because you freaking burned your tongue repeatedly making the curves on candy canes with your own mouth." "You really think so?" "You are a true crusader like Applebloom and her friends if you'd sacrifice getting that lisp." he then put his stick down and hugged her. "Y-you really think I'm a Cutiemark Crusader like Applebloom & her friends?" "Yes, I most certainly do!" "Aww, you're so sweet, like my sweets." AH, I CURSE THAT PUN!!! "Thanks, and look, your smile is back, making you look more adorkable then ever, but let's see what you'd look like without the glasses." "Wait, let me do it." Oh look, I'm rolling my eyes at a very overused scene. She took off the glasses and what Spike saw was amazing. She looked graceful. All he could do was grab her head. "Spike, what are you...hmph." she didn't hold back because like most stereotypical nerds, they are desperate for a boyfriend/girlfriend. You know, like the previous chapter, let me tell you about this other fool from my 6th period class, the teacher kept on telling him to stop looking at this one girl's butt which she called: Elizabooty, oh my God, did I painfully laugh with the rest of the class. The teacher kept on telling him to stop trying to and I quote: molest her. Oh, wait, I'll get back to you guys on my 6th period American Sign Language class later, they finished their long 1st kiss. "Wow, my 1st kiss." They both said at the same time. "So, I suppose I won you off of Rarity right?" "Yes, yes you did." "Yay, I'm moving up again, I wonder what DT & SS will say to me, a nerd having a boyfriend, who can protect me." "They'd probably say things like, "Sorry Twist, we are such a couple of huge cunt nuggets." "Yeah, good one." So, they spent the rest of the evening talking about how DT & SS would react and stop bullying her when Spike enrolls into Ms.Cheerilee's school. "Short and Sweet." Author's Note It's one of Digibrony's theories with this other guy that explains the origin of the lisp.
Ch. 19: Welcome to the Spike & Pinkie Pie are now a Couple Party!View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh. 19: Welcome to the Spike & Pinkie Pie are now a Couple Party!"You got another notice from the author Princess." said Pinkie Pie. "Okay, 1st the letter says that you will be shipped with Spike this time." "Yippie!" "Also, The notice says that the author plans to sequel this chapter and make it star Shogun Deezutra." "Oh yeah!" *Smooch* *Smooch* *Smooch* A certain party throwing mare was uncontrollably kissing the drake who agreed to be her boyfriend. "Oh Spikey, we gotta throw a party announcing our love!" "Yeah, we gotta invite everyone of our personal friends." "Great idea, the gang's already invited since they are our BFF's and will congratulate us." "Yeah, let's do it now." So, Spike wrote invites to Thunder Lane, Rumble, Pip, June bug, Lickety Split, Dinky, Not Snips & Snails (No really, there are 2 colts in Ponyville called Not Snips & Snails like how Spongebob met this one guy named Patrick Notstar. It's jokes like that, that would convince theorists to say that Spongebob actually & literally is making people's brains get stupider. No offence.), Feather Weight, Button Mash, You, Shogun Deezutra & his adoptive son Riolu, Naruto Uzumaki and all his friends from Konoha, and finally Godzilla's son Minya. Pinkie Invited, Lyra, Bon bon, Optimus Prime, Dead Pool, before I continue, yes the Cakes, why wouldn't the Cakes be invited to a party taking place at their home? Batmare, Mare 2 Well, Gary Oak, her super hero rival Electroman, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Zack & Cody (The Suite Life On Deck version.), Zeke & Luther, The Mario Bros., Team heroes, Every version of Megaman, yes, when I say every it includes that ugly one from Street Fighter X Tekken (Personally, my favorite version is Megaman X.) and their successor Mighty No.9, The Nostalgia Critic, Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger and their successors Ressha Sentai Tokkyuger, Mordecai & Rigby, Ash Ketchum and all of his traveling companions from the classic show to Pokemon the series XY, Yugi Moto and his friends, Jaden Yuki and his friends, Yusei Fudo and his friends from Yugioh 5D's (Seriously, what's so stupid about dueling on motorcycles? That's sounds awesome.), Yuma Tsukamo and his friends from Yugioh Zexal, (I don't see anything horrible about this show, in fact, my favorite summon is XYZ summoning), and finally Sakaki Yuya the new protagonist for Yugioh Arc-V. Don't worry, your favorite background ponies & OC's were there as well. So the party heated-up that night, lots of dancing, the Nostalgia Critic was kicked out because of how much of an angry person he is, Dan from Dan vs. was angry because he wasn't invited. Thunder Lane was dancing with Rarity, yes, another world where this douche who only saved her once became her boyfriend. Yeah, I love saying the word douche bag after president douche bag from Family Guy. Pinkie fired and reloaded her party cannons. Finn & Jake crashed the party but were allowed in so they can rap battle against Mordecai & Rigby. Twilight cuddled on the couch with Flash Sentry, but then she tried shooing people away who thought they were cute and wanted to take pictures of them together, Pikachu danced with Buneary while Ash & Dawn discuss having them breed. Daigo Kyoryuu changed into Kyoryu Red Carnival, which gave him the edge on partying harder than Pinkie Pie. Spike requested to see Yuma pass the torch to Sakaki, since he's now the new protagonist for the Yugioh Franchise. Then after the party started to die down. It was now time for the big reveal. "Ahem, ladies & gentlemen, may we have your attention please." Pinkie said into the mic "We wanted to tell you all the reason why we had all of you come over tonight." "What was the reason?" You asked. "Well, recently..." Pinkie then blushed with excitement. 'Oh Spikey, you tell them." Spike then took both of her front hooves in his claws and said. "We've become a couple." Then the crowed roared with a big OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! Everyone took turns saying how happy they are & wishes them the best of years to come. Soon, the party ended and they all left, Pinkie had arranged for her to spend the night at The library, and Twi agreed to this. So later that night the new couple cuddled under the sheets and gave eachother a goodnight kiss. Meanwhile... On a hill that overlooked Ponyville, a dark figure with a Ninjaken sword in one hand and a Kanabo in one hand stood watching. He wore black shogun armor and had the characters for the end of it all written in blood on his scarf. "So, this is where my arch nemesis lives, time to settle this Deezutra!" "That was a whole lot of cameos."
Ch.20: Bonbonbon-Bon Bonbon-Bon!?View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagCh.20: Bonbonbon-Bon Bonbon-Bon!?"Okay, the letter from the author has come and then the last chapter will be starring... Bon-bon/Sweetie Drops. Hmm, it says here that he's seen a few Spyra fics, but never a BonbonSpike fic." "Alright, whenever you ship someone with one half of a duo, you gotta balance it out by shipping the same person with the other half of that duo. Just like how there are Spikeluna fics to balance out the Spikelestia fics. That's how I see something making sense." said Shogun Deezutra. "Great Logic. So, for those of you writing Spike & Derpy ships, I reccomend balancing it out with Carrot Top & Spike fics.' Yes, I did base the Chapter Title off of the anime Bobobo-Bo Bobo-Bo, which is what Spike had just finished watching. He left the Library to ask Bon-bon for a book she checked out back or else she'll have to pay a fine. When he got there, to Bon-bon's candy shop, he had to hold back so he doesn't accidently spends the fine on the candy she made. When he entered, Twist had a job there, the Pony version of Ed, Edd and Eddy where buying jawbreakers, I was buying this one very expensive white chocolate sculpture of a life sized Vanellope Von Schweets. "Hey Twist, is Sweetie Drops there? I gotta ask for the book she checked out." "Oh, she's in the back, but be careful, she's become really fragile after you know." "Yeah." Bon bon became heart broken after her girlfriend Lyra Heartstrings went with Dr.Whooves to the human dimention. She has been unable to leave her home after that, everyone in Ponyville tried to cheer her up, even Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon, yeah, those 2 heartless flank holes tried to willingly make her happy. Spike didn't try to because he was busy in Canterlot that week. She punched Snips & Snails for being idiots and making things worse, I don't care if I've been hard on them these past few chapters, they are actually stupider than any other character in the show, I even called Pinkie & Rainbow Dash the idiots of the Mane 6 who are sometimes the Mane 7 when Spike is with them & whenever I see pictures of PinkieDash, I call them a couple of idiots but still, Snips & Snails must have been dropped hard on their heads when they were babies. So Spike entered Bon bon's bedroom where she was eating ice cream & moaning over her broken heart. Spike paused, his body completely frozen, the only visible movement was a tear rolling down his body. He's seen this before, it was how he felt after Rarity married Fancy Pants. He did the same thing, but he accepted his friends offer to leave the darkness. What he saw before him was what would've happened if he rejected. He mustered up all the bravery he had and walked over to Bon-bon. She saw him walking to her, she then hid under the sheets. "GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYPONY!!!" "Well, it's a good thing I'm not a pony is it?" He then pulled the sheets away from her. "Listen, you'll never understand how I feel, the one I've given both my 1st kiss & virginity to, the one I've given all my love to is gone!" "I may not have lost my virginity or given my 1st kiss to my true love, but I did lose the one I've fallen in love with & what I see before me is the alternate ending if I had not allowed my friends to pull me into the light." "Huh?" She stopped scooping ice cream. "Bon-bon, please, take my claw & I promise that things aren't that bad." Spike offered. She then put down her spoon and tub, and gave her hoof to Spike. Spike then walked her out of the Candy Shop & called out to everyone. "HEY EVERYPONY, GUESS WHO'S FINALLY GOT OUT?" "BON-BON!!!" The passing ponies and mules and donkeys called out. They were all happy to see her. Bon-bon finally smiled, all her friends missed her, they wanted to see her smile again and Spike was the one who brought that miracle into reality. She was close to tears, she missed her friends as well. She was happy, her face shined like brand new armor. "Um, Bon-bon?" Spike whispered "Yes?" She said with glee. "Well, I know this is short notice, but..." He was cutoff. "Yes, I will go out with you?" "...Well, thanks for agreeing to go out with me, but I was actually..." Again cutoff. She kissed him, making him almost forget his original objective. "No, you gotta return the book you checked out & also, please kiss me again" "Oh, done & done." After she left, Spike fainted, because he had just gotten a new girlfriend. So Spike & Bon-bon became a couple where 2 broken hearts were turned into one. "Well, that was certainly interesting of how these 2 would work."
Epilogue: The Harem Ending.View OnlinePimp Spike's SwagEpilogue: The Harem Ending.Spike woke-up one morning to find he was all alone in the bedroom, then Rarity came in. "Hello darling, here, put on this tuxedo, your 20 brides are waiting." "20 brides?" Spike said with a shocked voice. "Yep, and it is rude to keep them & all of our friends waiting, so please hurry-up and get ready." Spike showered, brushed his teeth and got his tuxedo on neatly, then when he opened the door to the outside, All 20 girls who he was shipped with were there. Yes I mean all 20 which included the R63'd Discord: Eris! They were all anticipating their groom to make his appearance. Spike walked down the aisle and met with his 20 brides which he got married to. Spike was happy with this because, Rarity is beautiful, but to have 20 women fall in love with you and marry you as well, that's much better. After that, Twilight had written a schedule to appeal to all 20 wives but on holidays, it would be all 21 of them at the same time. Wow, couldn't you just imagine a 21 way? Now that is weird. Now, I'll end this by telling you about another fool in my 6th period class about this one classmate that my teacher says is a fake Basketball player, because she's seen his moves and says he's a big faker. Alright, the end.