Derpy day (totally not cupcakes <.<)

by lTruelPsycho

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Dark, Human
Length: 1169

It's derpy day meet's cupcakes this is also my first ever piece of writing

90% of you will hate this.This is my first story like ever to write i never wrote in my life before man so sorry.

But this is pretty much a seth derpyday/cupcakes thing and yes seth is still human during this fic.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-02 07:24:02 UTC

One shot

It was a usual day for derpy, after waking up and having her normal breakfast muffin she walked outside to see seth raping the dead body of The great and powerful trixie.

Seth paused and looked over to derpy and cheerfully proclaimed "happy derpy day derpy" and laughed.

Derpy looked at seth a little more confused than usual, which was hard for derpy "what's derpy day?" asked derpy.

Seth upon hearing that derpy has not somehow heard of the holiday he had made over derpy said "It's a holiday where you give everypony you meet muffins!" at this point he had lost all interest in The great and powerful trixie's body and left it where it was.

When derpy heard that there was a holiday made after her and much less her love of giving pony's her special muffins she was   over thrilled "you made a holiday about me?!" said derpy happily and excitedly, then suddenly had a look of worry on her face.

Seth seeing that derpy suddenly looked worried asked "What's the matter derpy?"

Derpy with tears in her eyes replied "but...i don't have enough special muffins to give out like i usually due on my shifts at work i don't have any of my special ingredients and only one of my special muffins left"

Seth not wishing to see derpy sad said eagerly "OH! i can help you get the special ingredients you need!"

When derpy heard this her eyes stopped tearing and she turned back to her house "Great! follow me and we can get started." she then opened the door to her house and gestured for seth to follow, then she went to the basket she always kept on her table for her special muffins and lifted her last one that she was planning on using later in the day to get more special ingredients, and gave it to seth "This is my last special muffin but you can have it, after all your going to help me make the next batch after all!"

Seth hungry from the raping of the now a rotting corpse outside took a large bite of the muffin "wow! these are really good" said seth and then gulped down the rest.

Derpy looked at seth happily and said "I'm happy you liked them dinky helped me make them" she answered with a giggle she noticed that seth was starting to look a little sick and asked "awww are you not feeling good?"

Looking slightly sick and wobbling around replied "I don't know what went wrong, i just feel suddenly light headed and then passed out onto the floor.

Derpy jumped up and down in glee "Now it's time to get to work" and went proceed to pull his unconscious body down to her cellar.

(i'm lazy so i will be doing a scene  jump where he ends up int he rather generic cupcakes basement)

Seth awoken to find himself shackled to what appeared to be a modified surgery table and noticed a strong order in the air he looked around the small room still dazed from being drugged but he was used to waking up in strange places after being drugged and was not really concerned or worried and then he noticed a pony derpy walking up to the side of him.

Seeing that seth was now awake derpy looked at him and said cheerfully "Oh your awake, i can't thank you enough for offering to help me make my special muffins seth" and picked up a butcher knife from the table behind seth and walked in-front of seth.

Finally getting that he was going to be killed chopped up and made into muffins seth began to scream and cry at the top of his lungs and beg for his life as so many of his rape victims had done in the past.

Getting angry at how loud seth was screaming and crying derpy put the knife down then shoved her hooves into his mouth and pulled his tounge out tell enough for her to work with was out then pressed one hoof down on the tip pressing it on his chine to hold it in place "I can't have you screaming to loud seth, i learned with dinky that this cellar really is not to sound proff" she giggled and picked up the knife noticing what she was planning to do seth started to squirm but was unable to move much due to the restraints "you really should not move so much seth or i might miss!" said derpy hearing this seth began to panic even more derpy sighed then said "oh well guess it can't be helped" and chopped down hard onto his tongue taking a few inches of it and taking his top lip off and embedding it into his lower jaw "ooops! sorry about that but i did tell you to stop moving so much" and then pulled the knife out of seth's jaw roughly seth's jaw flopped down still hanging onto his face by only some skin and other odd bits.

Derpy looked at seth who was crying and spurting blood out of his mouth while attempting to beg for his life and took a moment to lick some of the blood from the knife "well time to get to work" Derpy then took the knife and pushed the tip into seth's chest and cut all the way down to his genitalia seth by this point was spouting so much blood from his fucked up jaw that he looked like a blood fountain derpy laughed and and put a hoof into the opening that she had just made in his chest to make him thrash around more and played in the shower of blood that was coming from seth then she recalled she needed to hurry the buck up and get this story ended and took a bucket from the side and started to harvest her ingredients.

Seth barely alive attempted to gargle something at derpy but only more blood came out of his ruined mouth, stopping derpy looked up from her harvesting and said "don't be sad seth you are helping me make my special muffins that many pony's will enjoy why it will make this derpy day the best one ever! at that she went back to putting all the organs and meat into her bucket by this point seth had died he died how he lived crying and a animal covered in blood his only company.

Derpy un-shacked his corpse and put it into the pile of other pony's and others species that had donated to her muffins and went upstairs to cook her specials muffins for derpy day...

...............................................................................................................................................................................................

Derpy with her fresh batch of cupcakes went about her job as a postal mare for ponyville and at every stop she wished everypony a happy derpy day and gave them one of her specials muffins.

Derpy day was a huge success and said loved her muffins.

The end.