The Conversion Bureau: The Last Man Standing

by Jlargent

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character
Length: 2379

The last human alive recounts the events that led to the downfall of humanity by Celestia's hooves.

The last human alive recounts the events that led to the downfall of humanity by Celestia's hooves. Rated Teen for slight launguage and violence.

Published 2012-03-02 08:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-02 08:24:02 UTC

The Conversion Bureau: The Last Man Standing.

The Conversion Bureau: The Last Man Standing.

Written By Jlargent

Me: This story was inspired by the numerous Conversion Bureau fics out there so I thought I should try my hand at it. Typical disclaimers apply I do not own MLP in any shape or form.

How long has it been? That question still haunts me to this day I remember when the ponies first arrived holding out an olive branch towards the human race. But what we didn’t know that they were also concealing the dagger that would effectively doom our race as a whole. At first it was a few humans that would volunteer to become ponies for the sake of science but that number started to swell rapidly, apparently the monarchs Princess Celestia and her younger sister Luna were keeping a secret from us humans.

Their race was dying out.

So when the human race was discovered Celestia ordered her top scientists to create the ponificatin serum, she saw humanity as a means to save her dying ponies, they created three variants based off the three distinct races of her people: Red for Earth types, Blue for Pegasai and Green for Unicorns, shortly afterwards humans began to join Celestia out of ignorance thinking that life as a pony was better than one as a human. Once there was enough fresh blood on her side she openly declared war on humans and that there were sleeper cells amongst us the whole time, we were caught unaware as suddenly multiple cities were hit turning the populace into Celestia’s loyal servants.

Naturally we tried to fight back with everything we had but in the end it was all for nothing as a year into the Last Human War as it was now called Celestia implemented a terrifying new weapon of mass destruction: The Ponification Bomb. Celestia had her scientists combine the devastating power of a nuclear warhead with the serum effects, as a result entire cities changed in an instant and Washington D.C. was the first to feel this power, in a single flash every human that lived in the city was turned into ponies.

Soon every major city in the U.S. was targeted and from there the world slowly fell to Celestia’s control, the world government tried to mobilize a last ditch effort to stop the bombings but that plan fell to pieces. How can you have an army when a vast majority of your soldiers are no longer human but are now the enemy? Your former comrades and brothers in arms are now on the other side of the battlefield carrying bottles of the serum that will make you into one of them. It became a devastating loss of moral as the forces were quickly overwhelmed and converted in the span of minuets.

I was one of the few that was in that battle. I remember it all like it was yesterday, I was lucky enough not to turn as I was ordered to retreat from that debacle, since then the world has fallen to Celestia’s control and ordered her ponies to seek out and ‘Teach them the value of Friendship’ as she likes to call it. There were pockets of resistance but they became few and between as they were quickly snuffed out, some of the more cowardly members of those groups tried to run away but were quickly found and turned and then led the search parties to the rebel camps. I’ve only hung out with a few of them but I left before they were converted knowing that sooner or later that I too would be one of them, but a part of me wanted to keep the hope that I would be able to help repopulate the human race. I guess that it was a pipe dream to say the least, but it was that feeble hope that kept me going.

Until now that is, by some miracle I managed to avoid detection for five years but they say that one’s luck would eventually run out, I was careless on my part, I relaxed thinking that I would not be detected, I discovered an abandoned cabin that was once owned by an apparent rebel group and was well stocked with food and water. I was so tired from all the running and hiding, I slipped into the bed and I was asleep the instant my head hit’s the pillow.

“Human! We know you’re in there! Surrender at once and we can resolve this without conflict!” a pony’s voice rings out snapping me out of my deep slumber, I quickly scramble out of the bed and rush over towards the boarded up windows and look through the crack to see a group of Pegasai flying about. And I look downward onto the ground and could see the perimeter of the house surrounded by Earth ponies and Unicorns equipped with the serum on bandoliers and to my shock Princess Celestia herself is apparently leading the charge. I know that I’m screwed six ways to Sunday now, the goddess herself is nigh immortal which means that she can’t be killed, many humans have tried when she was alone and they failed.

I pull out my gun and check the bullets and grimaced I only have five bullets left and when I ransacked the building last night I didn’t find any ammo either I am completely and utterly screwed.

“Human we are giving you until the count of three before we storm the building. Either come out with your hands up or we’re coming in.” the lead unicorn shouted I cocked the gun and gulped knowing that this is a no-win situation.

“Is this what you want Celestia? To commit genocide? To erase the existence of humanity as a whole and leave our legacy to rot?” I shouted to the princess leveling my gun at her through the window.

“Humanity has been seeped in blood and violence since your birth. Don’t you see I am not erasing your species I am evolving it, please don’t resist human I would rather not force you to submit but either way you are going to join us.” Celestia spoke through the bullhorn she was levitating.

I laugh loudly “Hypocrite! You’re nothing more than a hypocrite on a goddamn power trip. I’d rather die than join.” to prove my point I fire a round destroying the bull horn “I have four shots left Celestia and I’m saving the last one for me. So everyone here will remember that my blood will be the last thing on your dainty hooves. A fitting end for humanity huh?” I call out to her hoping that I can figure out a plan of escape.

All of a sudden a something heavy breaks through the window and the sound of a bottle smashing confirms my worst fears: They threw a serum and judging from the near vicinity of the red smoke they’re not taking any chances, when a serum container is smashed it quickly changes from liquid to gas in a near instant and breathing in the fumes is the only way to get turned I rush over to my backpack and pull out my gasmask to filter the effects as two more glass vials shatter against the wooden floor in blue and green smoke I pull the hammer back just as the door blows open and the smoke dissipates for a brief moment catching the unicorn off guard as I fire a round he barely jumps to the side as I use the confusion to escape the cabin.

Three shots left.

I run into the woods breathing hard into the mask knowing that the instant I remove it I’m doomed to a life of slavery, I swerve left heading into denser wood making it harder for my hunters to find me and making it more difficult for the Pegasai to enter the woods a snap of a twig alerts me that a pony was nearby I jump out of the way just as a tree was about to fall on me and I keep running onward. I spot two unicorns ahead of me about to use their magic to stop me I fire a shot wildly at the unicorn on my left hitting the horn dead center and the magic backfires creating a small explosion sending both of them flying backwards.

Two shots left.

I strain my ears to hear the sounds of a waterfall and heads towards it thinking that I have a chance to escape capture if I jump, I can hear the ponies chasing me gaining ground quickly.

“He’s heading towards the waterfall!” I hear a Pegasai above me speaking into a radio speaker coordinating the group, I level my gun and fired nailing the winged pony in the wing and I continue running towards to the waterfall hearing the roar closer and closer as I make my attempt to live another day.

One shot left.

I skid to a stop five feet away from the waterfall and look down at it. Should I jump now and avoid the hassle of a long drawn out melodramatic standoff or should I end it right here? I remember that I have one bullet left, I mentally beret myself for wasting ammo like that.

“We have you now human.” Celestia’s voice speaks as the ponies start to close in each one holding a vial of the serum, I place the gun to my temple making them stop in their tracks.

“One more step and you’ll be one slave short Celestia.” I growl backing my way towards the edge “The way I see it I have nothing to lose and freedom to gain. You already have taken away my family and friends and not to mention my home to satisfy your lust for more power, before I pull the trigger I want to know why. Why us humans? What makes us perfect for your grand scheme?” I ask her wanting an answer to the hell she put humanity through.

She laughs coldly “Why? Simple really, the population of our species was on a steep decline for decades with mares outnumbering stallions four to one. To put it crudely too many pussies and not enough dicks to go around, me and my sister became desperate and we searched for a possible solution, spells, potions, ancient artifacts, nothing worked we estimated that our race would die out in less than a millennium. That’s when my student suggested looking for a fresh gene pool outside of our species, so we searched other dimensions and we stumbled upon your world. And the rest is history as they say, speaking of history I actually did a check on the now dwindling human race. Congratulations you are officially the last man on earth.” she tells me, her words were like a dagger through the heart.

“Y-you’re lying! There’s no fucking way that I am the last human alive!” I yell at her making the other ponies tense save for Celestia herself.

“Why would I lie? I mean I could be wrong but that rarely happens. Now just accept this, and join us.” Celestia said.

I look at the ponies with a look of pity knowing that they did not choose this. It was forced upon them the last remnants of humanity gone forever never to return. I lower my gun slightly but still…I press the gun against my temple and breathe deeply recounting my life before this and my finger refuses to pull that trigger to end it all. No! Come on! Just pull the damn trigger! My finger pulls the trigger.

*Click*

What? I pull the trigger again only to hear another click. Am I out of bullets? No, I checked and I had five, I wasted four of them getting to this point. So what’s wrong?

“It seems that your gun’s jammed human. A pity really, I guess you weren’t meant to die here.” Celsetia said as all of a sudden a Blue vial shatters in front of me just as I feel my gasmask being forcibly removed from my head.

“NO!” I cry out too late as my fate is now sealed, I cough as the smoke enters my lungs triggering my transformation, at first there was a slight burning of my muscles which grew in intensity, I cry out in pain as my muscles warp and twist to fit my new form I look at my hands as they too change into hooves. My body continues changing as my internal organs shift and change, I feel my normally short brown hair lengthen as my face reshapes itself into a equine nature, my eyes became blurry slightly but quickly clears up as my brain receptors readjust themselves I could feel something coming out of my rear end, I turn my head to see a long horse tail emerge matching my mane and my skin darken slightly as orange fur was sprouting from it. My back spasms painfully as the final product of my physical transformation starts at first two stubs emerge but grows rapidly as my newly acquired wings take shape.

I can feel the magical effects of the serum now affect my mind, memories that I once cherished as a human became disgusting and hurtful. Princess Celestia did the right thing by making me into a pony. No! I’m still human, but is it better than being a human? It’s better to be a pony really, I don’t know why I fought against it even my human name is no longer needed.

“Welcome to the herd Starbreaker.” I hear my princess’s words, I look at her majestic form and bow in reverence to her glory.

“I live to serve you. My princess.” I said as I flap my wings following the others to start a new life as a loyal servant of the princess.

The End.

Me: This is the first time I ever wrote a fic with a sad ending so please go easy on my writing style. The title of the fic was inspired by the Bon Jovi’s song Last Man Standing, I figure that it would be a fitting title. Anyway please review!

As always Hoody Hoo!