Discord Gets Schooled

by lunabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, King Sombra, Fluttershy, Random, Adventure, Discord, Princess Celestia, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 1984

Discord just wants to get home to celebrate his birthday, but just can't seem to get away from everyone who wants his attention.

After a long, hard day, Discord just wants to go home to celebrate his birthday by himself. But one thing after another keeps popping up, and he begins to wonder if he'll even get home in time for his birthday at all.

***Disclaimers***
The characters in this story are representative of the characters in the series, not the people who play them. You know who you are.

Short story, one shot. Wrote this on request for my good friends birthday. Happy Birthday, J.M.!

This takes place in Canterlot High School, circa Equestria Girls timeline. They are humans. If you want pony ponies, you won't find them there. First attempt at writing humans.

EQG timeline: A few days before the Fall Formal. Sunset Shimmer is in Canterlot, and the Five are still fighting. Twilight has not yet gone through.

Published 2013-10-12 14:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-12 14:20:01 UTC

Friends Old and New

Birthdays only came once a year, and traditionally they were a day of importance and recognition. However, time did not stop just because someone was celebrating a birthday, although there were many times when one wished it would. A birthday was indeed was attempted to be celebrated on this particular day, which shall be told in just a moment. But first, there was business to attend to.

Cheerilee strode down the long, empty hallway of the school, a stack of papers in one hand. She'd had an extraordinarily busy day, and although she would like it to be over, it wasn't quite as such yet. Due to budget cuts, she'd taken on several wildly different positions within the school to cover a lack of availability. When she wasn't teaching, she was coordinating the library. When she wasn't behind the library desk, she was a tutor. When she wasn't tutoring, well, this last bit wasn't exactly at the top of her list of favorite things to do.

Opening a large door, she strode inside and placed the papers down on the desk, turning to address an almost entirely empty room. "Absolutely not," she said, addressing the three younger girls seated together in the front row. "Apple Bloom, back corner. Scootaloo, other back corner. Detention is not a place for social gatherings."

"Aww..." The two who had been named rose from their seats, and separated.

"Do you even know why you're here?" Cheerilee asked.

"Apparently playing our music videos in the library is inappropriate and causes student disruptions," Sweetie Belle quoted the exact words that Principal Celestia had used in scolding them.

"Very well. For the next hour you three will be writing me an essay on-" She paused, having opened the top drawer of her desk to find it void of paper of any kind. "The janitor didn't restock the supplies. Again." She sighed. "You girls stay here, and... well... think about more appropriate musical venues."

Cheerilee left the room and closed the door. She strode down the hallway once again in the opposite direction, and entered the Teacher's Lounge. A door in the back, primarily unused except by the janitor, had been installed on his insistence before taking the job. The condition had been fulfilled, as there weren't exactly any other applicants for it. She yanked the door open, taking in the all too familiar sight behind it, and scolded a sudden warning.

"DISCORD!"

The man behind the door was tall, lanky, and a rather suspicious looking character. He wore a bold, multicolored plaid suit that had never once been in style, and socks with sandals that really seemed to serve no fashion purpose other than to piss off any self respecting member of the industry. The man in question had somehow installed a hammock behind the closet door for napping purposes, and still had room for several bookshelves and a sink.

Cheerilee looked in confusion within the closet, and all the things it contained. "Is it bigger on the inside?" She asked.

Discord twirled a finger through a strand of snow white hair, an unusual feature considering the rest of him was fairly youthful in appearance.

"Yes?" He sounded a bit irritable, as anyone would upon having been suddenly roused from a nap.

Cheerilee sighed. "Discord, have you done anything at all of use today?"

"Not particularly. It's my birthday, you see, although I'm not entirely sure which one it is.I might be twenty three, or I might be a thousand and twenty three. Who knows?"

"If you're going to be part of normal society, you really need to learn to be more responsible," Cheerilee depended. "And sometimes that means actually working. On your birthday. We all do it."

Discord sprang up from his hammock. "Normal, normal, normal! That's all anyone wants. It's boring. Sometimes I want a little abnormal. Is that so wrong?"

Cheerilee just sighed. "Well at the very least go home, if you're not going to be doing anything useful." She turned and walked away, on a mission to find more paper, before being stopped in the hallway by Vice Principal Luna. The two exchanged a few brief words, Cheerilee facepalmed, and headed off in a different direction.

What black magic was this? Luna actually left her office? Discord changed his attire in an impossibly fast moment, now being rather impressively decked out in a navy blue suit this time. He wore matching dress shoes and what appeared to be some sort of high ranking military hat, something much more feasibly fitting for a fall formal function. Ooooh, that was a mouthful! He chased down Vice Principal Luna and caught up with her before she disappeared into the depths of her office once more.

Luna sighed. "Hello, Discord. Can I help you?"

He gestured a hand in the direction Cheerilee had gone. "Someone's causing trouble without me? I'm offended."

"Some of the students were rough housing, I merely sent Cheerilee to quiet them down. Nothing you need to worry about. Besides, shouldn't you be heading home? I thought you had said it was your birthday today."

"Yes, but I have nobody to celebrate with," Discord complained. "I thought perhaps I might retrieve a bottle of wine, and you and I might-"

"No." Luna interrupted.

"Aw, but fun is that?"

"I have work to do and a Formal in a few days to oversee, go home, Discord. Maybe I'll stop by later," Luna said, and disappeared back into her office.

Ha, a maybe. Everyone knew that meant yes. Discord smirked, and made his way towards the entrance of the building. Detention for the older students was just letting out, although by the sounds coming from behind the door, the teacher was most likely not present. He attempted to creep closer, although his timing was not ideal and he was almost smacked in the face by the door, through which a scruffy looking white haired young woman stormed out.

She glared at him. "Out of my way, dweeb." She huffed, and pushed past him. Discord was about to say something when yet another girl made an appearance, this one blue with multicolored hair. She gave Discord a very serious look while quickly straightening her shirt. "You tell anyone about this, I'll... um... well I don't know what I'll do just yet. But it'll be totally cool, bet on that." She closed the door and ran off after her companion.

Discord, who really had no interest in the goings on of the younger crowd, shrugged and made his way outside. Just wanting to get home at this point, he was only to be stopped once again by a timid young woman with a stack of papers standing near the front doors in front of a large billboard with even more papers on it..

"Excuse me, do you have a moment?" She squeaked. "Would you lend a caring hand to shelter those who need it? I'm trying to recruit more volunteers for the animal shelter, and I have signups on the left and petitions for larger cages on the right."

Oh, great, she was one of those.

"I really don't-"

The girl insisted. "Only have to sign your name, don't even have to read it...that is, if that's okay..."

Not wanting to appear like a total jerk, because he really wasn't, Discord reached out and took one of the flyers. "I suppose it might be looking into. I'll see what I can do," he said politely.

"Oh, thank you! Are you going anywhere right now?" She looked up at him with a slightly hopeful look on her face.

"Well, it's actually my birthday, you see, and I was hoping get home early. I didn't catch your name?"

The woman looked at the ground and coughed, extensive pink hair falling in front of her face. "Fluttershy."

"I didn't quite catch that?"

She coughed again.

Discord frowned. "Are you getting a cold? You should get that looked at," he said. "Thank you for the...flyer." He exited from her company, and once more made his way towards home. This entire day was beginning to become annoying. FINALLY having made his way out of the school, he took two steps towards freedom when-

"Discord!"

Crap.

Princess Celestia leaned her head out of her window, pastel hair falling into place. "Discord, if I might see you in my office for just a moment? I assure you it's nothing you did... this time."

Discord was pleased to hear that, at least, and returned to the building to enter the row of offices near the entrance. He knocked upon Celestia's door and entered, quickly beginning to back out upon seeing she had a guest.

"No, no, come in," she insisted.

Discord entered, taking a closer look at her guest. The young man was dark skinned and dressed as if he came from wealth, wearing a classy suit but rocking back and forth as if something was wrong with him.

"This is one of our exchange students from up north. I'm afraid he had a rather nasty blow to the head, he's incoherent and we're trying to see if we can fix him up."

The young man leaned forward, glaring at Discord with piercing green eyes.

"Crystals?" He asked.

Discord shook his head. "Er... no, no crystals."

"Cryssssstals!" The student lunged for Discord, who easily grabbed him with one hand and restrained him.

Celestia sighed. "Discord, please stop restraining my students. He's just confused, we'll sort him out." She gave the student a stern look. "Don't make me get the Gak out again."

The student immediately sat down, though he growled at her.

"I called you in here, Discord, to ask if you could be sure to order a new batch of muffin mix tomorrow. One of my students has apparently been hoarding boxes from the kitchen and we've yet to find out who it is."

Discord blinked. Unusual. "I can do that."

"Excellent. You're free to go." She waved him off.

Discord shook his head and left. This school just got stranger by the minute.

Having finally managed to break free of the inescapable school, Discord at last returned home. It was fairly easy to get to, he waited at a nearby bench for ten minutes or so before catching the bus, which was another ten minutes or so, and then a five minute walk into the outskirts of the city. His home, which appeared normal from the outside, was a small apartment building. Inside, however, was a different story.

Wanting a bit of something different, he had completely decorated the entirety of the apartment upside down. Chairs and tables were bolted to the ceiling, while the floor contained the occasional bladed fan and light fixture. It gave incoming visitors an incredible sense of disorientation, which was something he thrived on. The only exception to all this was a bed in the corner of the back room, which he sat down on.

"Why is it so incredibly hard to be alone on a birthday?" He asked himself.

Not expecting a response at all, he was understandably shocked when he was assaulted in his own house by a flurry of pink hair which was attached to a woman who'd been hiding under his bed, and sprang out.

"What...how..." he sputtered.

She poked a finger at his nose accusingly. "Well, for starters, you need to stop being so grumpy," she said cheerfully.

"How did..."

"Secondly," she continued, "It's not your birthday. Your birthday is NEXT Tuesday. Silly."

Discord felt his eye twitch. He grabbed the girl by the shoulders and shoved her out the door.

"Awww, is play time over already?" She asked.

Discord slammed the door shut, sinking down against the back of it on the other side.

Sometimes he swore the people around here were crazier than he was.

Oh well. There was always next week.