The Travelerby TeushChaptersCh1 “The sh*t’s going down”Ch2 "The sh*t's hitting the fan"CH3 "No more 'sh*t' chapters"Ch4 "Meeting the gang"Ch1 “The sh*t’s going down”Ch1 “The sh*t’s going down” Princess Celestia was sitting in her room with a stack of laws to be enforced in front of her. With a sigh, she grabbed another one and skimmed through it. Some noble wanted slavery to come back, so he could expand his cotton plantation and cut workers’ salary. She grabbed a red stamp, put it in the ink container and placed a big *DENIED* sign on said paper. Of course, there was A LOT more such as this one: enslavement, minimal payment cuts etc. She wasn’t expecting a guard suddenly barging into her office, winded, barely standing and with fear in his eyes. “Princess! *huff* Please forgive me for rushing in, but you ordered to be immediately informed if this was to happen…” He wizzed in one breath. “What is it?” She asked in her usual motherly tone. “It’s an order coded ‘Discord is just a trickster compared to this’.” Celestia’s eyes shrinked to pinpricks at the name of the coded alarm. “Call Princess Luna and Shining Armor to the Summoning Chamber. Tell them it’s an emergency worse than Discord. They’ll know.” And then she teleported out of the office. … “Are you sure this is enough? It’s just a train ticket and some change. Also you should take that to the hospital” Said the mayor of a small backwater town pointing to the still bleeding wound. The conversation was getting tiring. The man standing in front of him was… infuriating, to say at least. “I’ll be alright. There’s a werewolf raging in the next town. And there’s a full moon in three days, gotta hurry.” “If you say so, Traveler. Farewell then.” “Aaaaall aboard, train departs in one minute!” Conductor’s voice announced. The man slinged his bag through his back, adjusted the sunglasses sitting on his nose, sent a court nod to the mayor and moved into the train, searching for a vacant cabin. “I’ll never adjust to him. He’s so…” Started the mayor standing next to the conductor. “Not from this world?” The conductor finished. “Yes. He’s been helping get rid of monsters, abominations and maniacs trying to take over the world for five years now. No one even knows his goddamn name!” “I’ve seen him before in London. He was talking to professor Bernard Marlowe” “Bernard Marlowe? THE Bernard Marlowe? The guy, who is known from disappearing from London for over a year to travel around the world?” “The one and only. I overheard them talking about Transylvania’s woods. Something about saving from a pack of werewolves…” “A whole pack of werewolves? The guy is a beast.” “Ah, yes. There was ten of them. He truly is amazing.” A posh voice chimed in from behind them. “And how do you know…” Started the conductor turning around to see who had such an info about the mysterious fellow, but his jaw has met with the concrete at their feet. In front of him was standing the man he just mentioned. Professor Bernard Marlowe. An aging man, completely gray hair, a bit wrinkled, with eyes as sharp as a young student’s. “I do know, I was there” He said with a smile and eyes a bit distant. … After finding an empty cabin, he placed his bag in luggage space, then reclined on a bench, placing his legs on an opposite armrest. With a sigh of comfort, he pulled his hat to his face to get some sleep. His thoughts were already drifiting in the realm of dreams, when the shaking of the train has gotten stronger. That however, despite his light sleeping, didn’t wake him up. The cabin was distorted. Colors fluctuating around, changing from warm to cold, from white to black, clashing with each other. In a middle of colourful chaos, a portal appeared, sucking him and his luggage in. … Stirring from dreamless sleep, he stretched, hearing a satisfactionary *pop* from his spine, he groaned, pulled his hat back to its place. What he saw, wasn’t an opposite wall of a train cabin, but a wall of spears. Spears held by not humans, not werewolves or any mythological creature you could think of. The ones holding spears, white-furred humanoid abominations, clad in golden armour, with stumps resembling hooves instead of feet. His instinct was screaming at him, to jump back and get ready to fight. Instead, he sat in his place, both eyebrows rocketing up. “Huh, I’ve woken up to many weird things, but that’s new.” ... With cuffed arms and legs, he was being led the devil himself knows where. Through red carpeted, then golden carpeted, then silver carpeted halls, then into the dungeon like chamber. The armour clad creatures uncuffed him, just to chain him to the stone wall. Why wasn’t he resisting? He wasn’t sure himself, maybe a hunch telling him they weren’t going to hurt him, maybe because he wasn’t feeling intimidated by those horse/human hybrids. Probably the latter, because they didn’t even bother to disarm him. His revolvers were still hidden in his duster coat, fixed to the mechanism designed for him to quickly bring the guns out. Even his 7 inch hunter knife was still resting in its sheath. Maybe he had a grenade pocketed for good measure. Just maybe. Then there came another one of these creatures, this one however, obviously female, complete with wings, white coat, flowing mane and… a horn? Things are getting weirder by the second. He thought. Then, the female started speaking. “Hello, human. Please forgive us for the bindings, but we are in state of alarm and we need to be sure you aren’t going to hurt any of us.” “Alright. So… What do you need from me?” "First of all, I need you to swear you will not hurt any of my little ponies." Ponies. Things are getting really weird. "That I cannot do, ma'am" Her stoic face switched to a bit intimidating face. "Why is that?" "What if one of your so called 'little ponies' attempts to hurt myself? I'm not gonna have any means to defend if I accept this oath" She sighed. "It's an exception. If anypony attacks you, you're free to defend" Anypony? That's going over the edge. Are all things 'pony' in this crazy world? "With that, I accept. I won't hurt any living thing, unless it endangers me or any other. Now, a question. Why in the hell am I here?" Ch2 "The sh*t's hitting the fan"Ch2 "The sh*t's hitting the fan" She looked a bit surprised at his way of speaking. She gathered her composure with a cough. "Let's start from the beginning. You are no longer on Earth. Our land is called Equestria, inhabited mostly by us ponies. I am Princess Celestia, together with my sister Luna we govern this country and also keep control over moon and sun." The shock on his face was getting more visible with each sentence. This isn't Earth? This woma... female and her sister control day and night cycle? Fate really likes to fuck with me. Or it's time to cut on the whiskey. "I know in your world moon and sun move on their own, but here it's different. But we're going offtopic here. We summoned you. And we need your help." "I noticed. It's not like I'm called just for get-togethers back on Earth anyway. More like 'Oh no! Monsters are attacking our fair city! We need help!'" He ended his sentence with a rather good impression of a citizen in distress. Celestia noticed a glint in his eyes. It wasn't a glint of wonder, nor a glint of fear. It was a glint of loneliness. Celestia knew it. She saw this in a mirror, in her own eyes, before her sister came back to her after being purged by the Elements Of Harmony. However, her position of a princess forbid her to comfort the human. Her little ponies were in danger and she would do anything to save them. Even sarcrifice a lonely soul for their sake. "There is a power in our world which is able to vanquish evil from our world. Elements of Harmony have already served us for millenia. There is however a force even them cannot defeat, for the Elements can react only to objects and living things nonresistant to magic. This one, however, is not dependent of it. No magic in this world can defeat him. That's why we need another being not dependent of magic. A human." Oh boy, here we go again. 'Only you can do this! You're our only help! Oh, and the only thing you get from that is a ticket back home and everyone will be afraid of you.' Why did I even get this job? I should have listened to mother and become an engineer, but no! It's a boring life! I wanted to fight monsters! Become a hero of mankind... *sigh* Oh well, now that I'm here, might as well help them. And maybe have some fun. Hope they've got some good booze. "You see, our whole world is encircled by magic. It flows through everything and everypony. It controls everyponies' fates and future." Celestia's tale was getting quite elaborate. Despite this The Traveler listened. Hed had to know all the details of this... realm. His world had magic, but technomagi mainly used it to pour artificial life into golems, which worked as substitutes for bartender, physical workers, bouncers, Mainly the mundane tasks no one wanted to do. Such was the life on Earth. Aristocrats, beggars and people who helped saving the peace such as him. "A long time ago, a new species arrived to Equestria. They called themselves humans." Humans. In this world. A long time ago. I think I know where this is going to. "They asked for a place, whre they could stay, create a village. We agreed, and a new town was created. They built their own houses, bred and lived in harmony with us ponies. But then something terrible happened." Nailed it. "Some of the Pegasi refused to control weather over, as they called it, 'a monkeys' shithole'. They wanted the humans driven out of Equestria, and more and more ponies agreed with them. Because of that one the humans started a riot. " Revolutionist. Must be a revolutionist. "His name was Wolfgang. He persuaded the rest of humans to start a war against us. I had no choice but to fight them. They had small cannons held in one hand, explosives, know-how about creating diversions and immunity to ponies' magic. Many died, on both sides. However, the humans where losing. So the had no choice but to leave their town and hide from us. But now, they are back, stronger in numbers, better equipped." The human sighed. Again. "And you want me to fight a whole army of fully armed humans with just a pair of those 'small cannons' alone?" "No, I need you to retieve something for me." Treasure hunting. That's new. "My former student, Princess Twilight Sparkle, found something about an ancient artifact able to overcome the immunity to magic. I need it for the oncoming war. But it's protected by magical field. And only one species in this world can overcome it. Humans." He was already inhaling to say something. And believe me, the look on his face said that those words sitting in his head, ready to be told, were NOT gentle. Nor quiet. Nor appropriate for children. But they quickly got interrupted.] "Wait! I know what you're going to say. 'I won't stand up to my own kind for sake of species I got to know exists a few hours ago." "Something like that." Fuck, how can one story can get more annoying than this? If those humans aren't werewolves or something worse, my answer isn't going to make her happy. Dear Mother Earth, seems like I'll be back quite early. "They're something you've fought for five years on Earth. Werewolves." "Oh for fuck's sake!" He had enough. He couldn't hold his tongue any longer. Name it any way you want. Just know that Celestia's face at his outburst was amusing. So were her guards'. Namely, faces of astonishment and contemp for such language on ponies' muzzles surrounded him from every side. Except the side with the wall he was still chained to. "Alright, alright. I'll find your god forsaken artifact. Just point the way. And stop looking at me like that. Can't a man relief his tongue with some French?" Author's Note Almost two months. Quite a long time, eh? Especially while waiting for a new chapter. My only excuse is 'I had no money for booze to continue writing'. I know it's no excuse. Sorry. Now, just wanted to say I'm thankful for all the 'hands up', favourites and comments. It's the first time I share my work with the outside world, so it makes me happy someone likes it. Teush out. CH3 "No more 'sh*t' chapters"CH3 "No more 'sh*t' chapters" "I know what you're going to say. 'Such filthy languange right in front of Her Majesty! How dare you! You should be beheaded right now!' But I am Her Majesty's last resort and despite how I behave you can't do anything that goes around your helmeted heads. So let's make a deal. I stop cursing, you unchain me from this damn wall. I do what Her Majesty wants, I get to do what I want, within reason of course, around this new to me world. Deal or no deal." "Deal." He was sure some of the guards would answer him. But this one word that tied many weird, reasonable and downright stupid things didn't come out of any of the guards' mouths. It came from Celestia herself. "Release him. It's getting too late for any more explanations anyway. Tell the maids to prepare a guest room, bath and dinner with meat. We will talk about details tomorrow. Now take him to his new chamber." The guards saluted and took the chains off his wrists. With a wave, they ordered him to follow. Hope the guestroom has a bar ... He looked at the clock. "Half past eleven, it's still early. Holy hell, never had such good whiskey." The glass in his hand was almost empty. "Time for a refill" Grabbing the bottle, he poured quite a bit of tea-colored alcohol to said glass. The weather was nice, so he decided to take his drink outside. He had a good view of full moon on clear sky. An image which always put him at ease and on edge at the same time. He reached into his trousers' pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it, he leaned over a balcony's railing. "Thou must be the human our sister summoned. We must say, we had a different imagination of thou." He always believed in his sharp senses. But he wasn't used to beings with wings, so he reacted in way he wasn't known of. "Whoa! Fucking hell!" On the balcony landed another horned pony with wings. This one dark blue. "We thought thou are more courageous." He said nothing. He just let the mechanism hidden in his duster's sleeve put a gun in his hand and fired a bullet to the sky. The pony shouted. Not a distinguished one, but a screech of a girl scared to death. "Says who." "Art thou insane?!" "No... maybe. I just don't like when people say things about the book while knowing only it's cover." Fuck's sake... Putting up with these ponies... "Alright, let's start over. Yes, I am the human Celestia brought to your world for help in defeating werewolves. It's kinda my job back in my world." The only thing her face was showing was confusion. "Right... We art Luna, the princess of the night. Celestia is our sister." How many princesses is there anyway? Time after time I get to know one by one... Hmmm... Since I jackpotted a lot of things during Celestia's monologue, let's say there are four princesses of Equestria at the moment. If I'm wrong, no booze for a month, not even beer. "So... Does a savior of our world have a name?" This question triggered a feeling he hasn't been getting in a very long time. Namely - surprise. "Beg your pardon?" "What's your name silly?" Now that's a question I wasn't expecting. How long has it been since I introduced myself to anyone? Three years? Eh, might as well go with it. "I'm Roran. Roran Drexler. Monster hunter , mercenary and adventurer." "Quite a bit of jobs." "Well, it's just three names of one. I travel around the world, deal with the trouble and get paid for it, that's all." "But what about fame? Thou must be pretty known around the globe." "Yes, I am. But not the way you think of." Luna noticed he started to avoid eye contact. Before, he was at least looking in her way, except when sipping from his glass, but then it seemed like his whole attention was centered somewhere beyond the night sky, far away from th Canterlot castle's balkony. It was like he was a completely different person. Instead of a snarky adventurer, a helpless romantic dreaming of a journey to the stars. "What might thou mean?" "You might think a hero protecting his kind from savage beasts would be always welcomed with honors. But no. People see me as a weird creature able to fight these monsters endangering their daily lives. They call me because they don't have any other way. There are not enough werewolf hunters to get all of them nor save everyone. I'm their last second save. I'm consiedered an abomination on the same level as the monsters I kill." "That's dreadful! How can one resent their hero so much?" "No idea. But someone has to do it. Humankind might perish without us hunters. I don't resent them for fearing me. Such is the life on Earth." "Thou art truly a mysterious creature, Roran Drexler. Despite your kind resenting thou, thou still protect them without a second thought." "Hah, I get that a lot." Huh, this one is quite likable, I wonder about the other two. Ch4 "Meeting the gang"Too much whiskey. Definitely too much whiskey. Was the only thing on his mind when the sunlight started to seep through the curtains straight into his face. This is why I always sleep with curtains closed shut. At least you can open your eyes without looking striaght into the sun. Slowly, he reached for his sunglasses. With much more comfortable amount of light assaulting his eyes, he moved to the bathroom. After dealing with a problem of full bladder, he poured himself a small amount of whiskey. Well, as they say in Poland, "What you've used to poison yourself, you use to cure yourself". Guess it's time to get something to eat. Fried eggs would be nice. With that, he dressed, leaving his duster on the hanger. The revolvers also stayed in the room, unneeded in the castle. Opening the door, he came face to face with a maid just about to knock. Instead, she patted him to the chest. Startled, she jumped back to a full bow. "I-I'm so sorry, sir! P-please forgive my rudeness!" "Jeez lady, easy. I'm not some stuck-up noble, who would've beheaded you for something like this! Please, raise your head, it's getting somewhat awkward." Grabbing her by the shoulders, he straightened the maid's posture. "Y-yes! Thank you, sir!" " I am also not an army's general. You don't have to sallute me, nor ending every sentence with 'sir', alright? Just say why you wanted to call me." The maid seemed to relax a bit. "Ah, yes. The Princess invites you to have breakfast with her." "Does she now? Well, can't say no to that. Lead the way." The maid led him to the dining room. Upon entry, he's noticed the princess already waiting for him. "Ah, sir Drexler, good morning. You look a bit pale, are the royal chambers not satisfactory to your sleeping habits?" Said Celestia with a permanent smile of a good matron. Seems like the princess of the night has quite a long tongue. Not that I mind being called by name after all this time. "Good morning to you too, princess. And no, the bed is extremely comfortable. Let's just say the royal liquor cabinet is too tasty to stop at one glass." Should've just said I'm hangovered. "Oh my, should I call the chefs to get a medicine for you?" She looked truly concerned about his state. "No, it's alright. Just a plate of fried eggs and a cup of coffe and I'll be good as new." He said with a hand wave. ... After the meal, he leaned back on his chair with a mug of black drink in his hand. "Now then, I guess it's time for some planning for my treasure hunting journey. As I know nothing about the land, I'll need a map and a debriefing about what I'm going to encounter on my way. And a hint about what said artifact looks like." Straight to the point, smooth as always. But seriously, if a war is about to break out, I need to act quickly. "There will be no need for that, sir Drexler." Said Celestia, sipping from her cup of tea. "Okay. One, just Roran is fine. Two, what do you mean by 'no need for that'? How am I supposed to find the bloody thing if I don't know where to look or even how it fucking looks like?! Oops, I'm truly sorry princess, I promised not to use such a language." Damn you filthy mouth of mine! "That's quite alright, I understand your confusion. It's because you won't be travelling alone." Won't be travelling alone. I'm probably not gonna enjoy that. "My former student, Twilight Sparkle, wanted to find this artifact on her own, but then her friends insisted to go with her. But when she heard I've summoned a human, she insisted to 'supervise the human so he wouldn't jeopardize the searching in order to change sides" Oh god, I have to babysit a princess AND her friends? I'm sorry Celestia, but that's not gonna happen. "With all due respect princess, but I have to object. Don't say 'I work alone', too cliche. First, I don't think a sheltered princess would be able to withstand such a journey. Second, I'm not gentleman enough to listen to their complaining. Third, I work alone." Aaaand there we go. Cliche as fuck. "My apologies sir Drexler, but they're already on their way to Canterlot to meet with you and get ready for the journey." Right after these words a pony in a butler tux came in. "Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and the Elements of Harmony, have arrived." After that announcement, he opened the double doors and revealed a group of six ponies.
Ch1 “The sh*t’s going down”Ch1 “The sh*t’s going down” Princess Celestia was sitting in her room with a stack of laws to be enforced in front of her. With a sigh, she grabbed another one and skimmed through it. Some noble wanted slavery to come back, so he could expand his cotton plantation and cut workers’ salary. She grabbed a red stamp, put it in the ink container and placed a big *DENIED* sign on said paper. Of course, there was A LOT more such as this one: enslavement, minimal payment cuts etc. She wasn’t expecting a guard suddenly barging into her office, winded, barely standing and with fear in his eyes. “Princess! *huff* Please forgive me for rushing in, but you ordered to be immediately informed if this was to happen…” He wizzed in one breath. “What is it?” She asked in her usual motherly tone. “It’s an order coded ‘Discord is just a trickster compared to this’.” Celestia’s eyes shrinked to pinpricks at the name of the coded alarm. “Call Princess Luna and Shining Armor to the Summoning Chamber. Tell them it’s an emergency worse than Discord. They’ll know.” And then she teleported out of the office. … “Are you sure this is enough? It’s just a train ticket and some change. Also you should take that to the hospital” Said the mayor of a small backwater town pointing to the still bleeding wound. The conversation was getting tiring. The man standing in front of him was… infuriating, to say at least. “I’ll be alright. There’s a werewolf raging in the next town. And there’s a full moon in three days, gotta hurry.” “If you say so, Traveler. Farewell then.” “Aaaaall aboard, train departs in one minute!” Conductor’s voice announced. The man slinged his bag through his back, adjusted the sunglasses sitting on his nose, sent a court nod to the mayor and moved into the train, searching for a vacant cabin. “I’ll never adjust to him. He’s so…” Started the mayor standing next to the conductor. “Not from this world?” The conductor finished. “Yes. He’s been helping get rid of monsters, abominations and maniacs trying to take over the world for five years now. No one even knows his goddamn name!” “I’ve seen him before in London. He was talking to professor Bernard Marlowe” “Bernard Marlowe? THE Bernard Marlowe? The guy, who is known from disappearing from London for over a year to travel around the world?” “The one and only. I overheard them talking about Transylvania’s woods. Something about saving from a pack of werewolves…” “A whole pack of werewolves? The guy is a beast.” “Ah, yes. There was ten of them. He truly is amazing.” A posh voice chimed in from behind them. “And how do you know…” Started the conductor turning around to see who had such an info about the mysterious fellow, but his jaw has met with the concrete at their feet. In front of him was standing the man he just mentioned. Professor Bernard Marlowe. An aging man, completely gray hair, a bit wrinkled, with eyes as sharp as a young student’s. “I do know, I was there” He said with a smile and eyes a bit distant. … After finding an empty cabin, he placed his bag in luggage space, then reclined on a bench, placing his legs on an opposite armrest. With a sigh of comfort, he pulled his hat to his face to get some sleep. His thoughts were already drifiting in the realm of dreams, when the shaking of the train has gotten stronger. That however, despite his light sleeping, didn’t wake him up. The cabin was distorted. Colors fluctuating around, changing from warm to cold, from white to black, clashing with each other. In a middle of colourful chaos, a portal appeared, sucking him and his luggage in. … Stirring from dreamless sleep, he stretched, hearing a satisfactionary *pop* from his spine, he groaned, pulled his hat back to its place. What he saw, wasn’t an opposite wall of a train cabin, but a wall of spears. Spears held by not humans, not werewolves or any mythological creature you could think of. The ones holding spears, white-furred humanoid abominations, clad in golden armour, with stumps resembling hooves instead of feet. His instinct was screaming at him, to jump back and get ready to fight. Instead, he sat in his place, both eyebrows rocketing up. “Huh, I’ve woken up to many weird things, but that’s new.” ... With cuffed arms and legs, he was being led the devil himself knows where. Through red carpeted, then golden carpeted, then silver carpeted halls, then into the dungeon like chamber. The armour clad creatures uncuffed him, just to chain him to the stone wall. Why wasn’t he resisting? He wasn’t sure himself, maybe a hunch telling him they weren’t going to hurt him, maybe because he wasn’t feeling intimidated by those horse/human hybrids. Probably the latter, because they didn’t even bother to disarm him. His revolvers were still hidden in his duster coat, fixed to the mechanism designed for him to quickly bring the guns out. Even his 7 inch hunter knife was still resting in its sheath. Maybe he had a grenade pocketed for good measure. Just maybe. Then there came another one of these creatures, this one however, obviously female, complete with wings, white coat, flowing mane and… a horn? Things are getting weirder by the second. He thought. Then, the female started speaking. “Hello, human. Please forgive us for the bindings, but we are in state of alarm and we need to be sure you aren’t going to hurt any of us.” “Alright. So… What do you need from me?” "First of all, I need you to swear you will not hurt any of my little ponies." Ponies. Things are getting really weird. "That I cannot do, ma'am" Her stoic face switched to a bit intimidating face. "Why is that?" "What if one of your so called 'little ponies' attempts to hurt myself? I'm not gonna have any means to defend if I accept this oath" She sighed. "It's an exception. If anypony attacks you, you're free to defend" Anypony? That's going over the edge. Are all things 'pony' in this crazy world? "With that, I accept. I won't hurt any living thing, unless it endangers me or any other. Now, a question. Why in the hell am I here?"
Ch2 "The sh*t's hitting the fan"Ch2 "The sh*t's hitting the fan" She looked a bit surprised at his way of speaking. She gathered her composure with a cough. "Let's start from the beginning. You are no longer on Earth. Our land is called Equestria, inhabited mostly by us ponies. I am Princess Celestia, together with my sister Luna we govern this country and also keep control over moon and sun." The shock on his face was getting more visible with each sentence. This isn't Earth? This woma... female and her sister control day and night cycle? Fate really likes to fuck with me. Or it's time to cut on the whiskey. "I know in your world moon and sun move on their own, but here it's different. But we're going offtopic here. We summoned you. And we need your help." "I noticed. It's not like I'm called just for get-togethers back on Earth anyway. More like 'Oh no! Monsters are attacking our fair city! We need help!'" He ended his sentence with a rather good impression of a citizen in distress. Celestia noticed a glint in his eyes. It wasn't a glint of wonder, nor a glint of fear. It was a glint of loneliness. Celestia knew it. She saw this in a mirror, in her own eyes, before her sister came back to her after being purged by the Elements Of Harmony. However, her position of a princess forbid her to comfort the human. Her little ponies were in danger and she would do anything to save them. Even sarcrifice a lonely soul for their sake. "There is a power in our world which is able to vanquish evil from our world. Elements of Harmony have already served us for millenia. There is however a force even them cannot defeat, for the Elements can react only to objects and living things nonresistant to magic. This one, however, is not dependent of it. No magic in this world can defeat him. That's why we need another being not dependent of magic. A human." Oh boy, here we go again. 'Only you can do this! You're our only help! Oh, and the only thing you get from that is a ticket back home and everyone will be afraid of you.' Why did I even get this job? I should have listened to mother and become an engineer, but no! It's a boring life! I wanted to fight monsters! Become a hero of mankind... *sigh* Oh well, now that I'm here, might as well help them. And maybe have some fun. Hope they've got some good booze. "You see, our whole world is encircled by magic. It flows through everything and everypony. It controls everyponies' fates and future." Celestia's tale was getting quite elaborate. Despite this The Traveler listened. Hed had to know all the details of this... realm. His world had magic, but technomagi mainly used it to pour artificial life into golems, which worked as substitutes for bartender, physical workers, bouncers, Mainly the mundane tasks no one wanted to do. Such was the life on Earth. Aristocrats, beggars and people who helped saving the peace such as him. "A long time ago, a new species arrived to Equestria. They called themselves humans." Humans. In this world. A long time ago. I think I know where this is going to. "They asked for a place, whre they could stay, create a village. We agreed, and a new town was created. They built their own houses, bred and lived in harmony with us ponies. But then something terrible happened." Nailed it. "Some of the Pegasi refused to control weather over, as they called it, 'a monkeys' shithole'. They wanted the humans driven out of Equestria, and more and more ponies agreed with them. Because of that one the humans started a riot. " Revolutionist. Must be a revolutionist. "His name was Wolfgang. He persuaded the rest of humans to start a war against us. I had no choice but to fight them. They had small cannons held in one hand, explosives, know-how about creating diversions and immunity to ponies' magic. Many died, on both sides. However, the humans where losing. So the had no choice but to leave their town and hide from us. But now, they are back, stronger in numbers, better equipped." The human sighed. Again. "And you want me to fight a whole army of fully armed humans with just a pair of those 'small cannons' alone?" "No, I need you to retieve something for me." Treasure hunting. That's new. "My former student, Princess Twilight Sparkle, found something about an ancient artifact able to overcome the immunity to magic. I need it for the oncoming war. But it's protected by magical field. And only one species in this world can overcome it. Humans." He was already inhaling to say something. And believe me, the look on his face said that those words sitting in his head, ready to be told, were NOT gentle. Nor quiet. Nor appropriate for children. But they quickly got interrupted.] "Wait! I know what you're going to say. 'I won't stand up to my own kind for sake of species I got to know exists a few hours ago." "Something like that." Fuck, how can one story can get more annoying than this? If those humans aren't werewolves or something worse, my answer isn't going to make her happy. Dear Mother Earth, seems like I'll be back quite early. "They're something you've fought for five years on Earth. Werewolves." "Oh for fuck's sake!" He had enough. He couldn't hold his tongue any longer. Name it any way you want. Just know that Celestia's face at his outburst was amusing. So were her guards'. Namely, faces of astonishment and contemp for such language on ponies' muzzles surrounded him from every side. Except the side with the wall he was still chained to. "Alright, alright. I'll find your god forsaken artifact. Just point the way. And stop looking at me like that. Can't a man relief his tongue with some French?" Author's Note Almost two months. Quite a long time, eh? Especially while waiting for a new chapter. My only excuse is 'I had no money for booze to continue writing'. I know it's no excuse. Sorry. Now, just wanted to say I'm thankful for all the 'hands up', favourites and comments. It's the first time I share my work with the outside world, so it makes me happy someone likes it. Teush out.
CH3 "No more 'sh*t' chapters"CH3 "No more 'sh*t' chapters" "I know what you're going to say. 'Such filthy languange right in front of Her Majesty! How dare you! You should be beheaded right now!' But I am Her Majesty's last resort and despite how I behave you can't do anything that goes around your helmeted heads. So let's make a deal. I stop cursing, you unchain me from this damn wall. I do what Her Majesty wants, I get to do what I want, within reason of course, around this new to me world. Deal or no deal." "Deal." He was sure some of the guards would answer him. But this one word that tied many weird, reasonable and downright stupid things didn't come out of any of the guards' mouths. It came from Celestia herself. "Release him. It's getting too late for any more explanations anyway. Tell the maids to prepare a guest room, bath and dinner with meat. We will talk about details tomorrow. Now take him to his new chamber." The guards saluted and took the chains off his wrists. With a wave, they ordered him to follow. Hope the guestroom has a bar ... He looked at the clock. "Half past eleven, it's still early. Holy hell, never had such good whiskey." The glass in his hand was almost empty. "Time for a refill" Grabbing the bottle, he poured quite a bit of tea-colored alcohol to said glass. The weather was nice, so he decided to take his drink outside. He had a good view of full moon on clear sky. An image which always put him at ease and on edge at the same time. He reached into his trousers' pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it, he leaned over a balcony's railing. "Thou must be the human our sister summoned. We must say, we had a different imagination of thou." He always believed in his sharp senses. But he wasn't used to beings with wings, so he reacted in way he wasn't known of. "Whoa! Fucking hell!" On the balcony landed another horned pony with wings. This one dark blue. "We thought thou are more courageous." He said nothing. He just let the mechanism hidden in his duster's sleeve put a gun in his hand and fired a bullet to the sky. The pony shouted. Not a distinguished one, but a screech of a girl scared to death. "Says who." "Art thou insane?!" "No... maybe. I just don't like when people say things about the book while knowing only it's cover." Fuck's sake... Putting up with these ponies... "Alright, let's start over. Yes, I am the human Celestia brought to your world for help in defeating werewolves. It's kinda my job back in my world." The only thing her face was showing was confusion. "Right... We art Luna, the princess of the night. Celestia is our sister." How many princesses is there anyway? Time after time I get to know one by one... Hmmm... Since I jackpotted a lot of things during Celestia's monologue, let's say there are four princesses of Equestria at the moment. If I'm wrong, no booze for a month, not even beer. "So... Does a savior of our world have a name?" This question triggered a feeling he hasn't been getting in a very long time. Namely - surprise. "Beg your pardon?" "What's your name silly?" Now that's a question I wasn't expecting. How long has it been since I introduced myself to anyone? Three years? Eh, might as well go with it. "I'm Roran. Roran Drexler. Monster hunter , mercenary and adventurer." "Quite a bit of jobs." "Well, it's just three names of one. I travel around the world, deal with the trouble and get paid for it, that's all." "But what about fame? Thou must be pretty known around the globe." "Yes, I am. But not the way you think of." Luna noticed he started to avoid eye contact. Before, he was at least looking in her way, except when sipping from his glass, but then it seemed like his whole attention was centered somewhere beyond the night sky, far away from th Canterlot castle's balkony. It was like he was a completely different person. Instead of a snarky adventurer, a helpless romantic dreaming of a journey to the stars. "What might thou mean?" "You might think a hero protecting his kind from savage beasts would be always welcomed with honors. But no. People see me as a weird creature able to fight these monsters endangering their daily lives. They call me because they don't have any other way. There are not enough werewolf hunters to get all of them nor save everyone. I'm their last second save. I'm consiedered an abomination on the same level as the monsters I kill." "That's dreadful! How can one resent their hero so much?" "No idea. But someone has to do it. Humankind might perish without us hunters. I don't resent them for fearing me. Such is the life on Earth." "Thou art truly a mysterious creature, Roran Drexler. Despite your kind resenting thou, thou still protect them without a second thought." "Hah, I get that a lot." Huh, this one is quite likable, I wonder about the other two.
Ch4 "Meeting the gang"Too much whiskey. Definitely too much whiskey. Was the only thing on his mind when the sunlight started to seep through the curtains straight into his face. This is why I always sleep with curtains closed shut. At least you can open your eyes without looking striaght into the sun. Slowly, he reached for his sunglasses. With much more comfortable amount of light assaulting his eyes, he moved to the bathroom. After dealing with a problem of full bladder, he poured himself a small amount of whiskey. Well, as they say in Poland, "What you've used to poison yourself, you use to cure yourself". Guess it's time to get something to eat. Fried eggs would be nice. With that, he dressed, leaving his duster on the hanger. The revolvers also stayed in the room, unneeded in the castle. Opening the door, he came face to face with a maid just about to knock. Instead, she patted him to the chest. Startled, she jumped back to a full bow. "I-I'm so sorry, sir! P-please forgive my rudeness!" "Jeez lady, easy. I'm not some stuck-up noble, who would've beheaded you for something like this! Please, raise your head, it's getting somewhat awkward." Grabbing her by the shoulders, he straightened the maid's posture. "Y-yes! Thank you, sir!" " I am also not an army's general. You don't have to sallute me, nor ending every sentence with 'sir', alright? Just say why you wanted to call me." The maid seemed to relax a bit. "Ah, yes. The Princess invites you to have breakfast with her." "Does she now? Well, can't say no to that. Lead the way." The maid led him to the dining room. Upon entry, he's noticed the princess already waiting for him. "Ah, sir Drexler, good morning. You look a bit pale, are the royal chambers not satisfactory to your sleeping habits?" Said Celestia with a permanent smile of a good matron. Seems like the princess of the night has quite a long tongue. Not that I mind being called by name after all this time. "Good morning to you too, princess. And no, the bed is extremely comfortable. Let's just say the royal liquor cabinet is too tasty to stop at one glass." Should've just said I'm hangovered. "Oh my, should I call the chefs to get a medicine for you?" She looked truly concerned about his state. "No, it's alright. Just a plate of fried eggs and a cup of coffe and I'll be good as new." He said with a hand wave. ... After the meal, he leaned back on his chair with a mug of black drink in his hand. "Now then, I guess it's time for some planning for my treasure hunting journey. As I know nothing about the land, I'll need a map and a debriefing about what I'm going to encounter on my way. And a hint about what said artifact looks like." Straight to the point, smooth as always. But seriously, if a war is about to break out, I need to act quickly. "There will be no need for that, sir Drexler." Said Celestia, sipping from her cup of tea. "Okay. One, just Roran is fine. Two, what do you mean by 'no need for that'? How am I supposed to find the bloody thing if I don't know where to look or even how it fucking looks like?! Oops, I'm truly sorry princess, I promised not to use such a language." Damn you filthy mouth of mine! "That's quite alright, I understand your confusion. It's because you won't be travelling alone." Won't be travelling alone. I'm probably not gonna enjoy that. "My former student, Twilight Sparkle, wanted to find this artifact on her own, but then her friends insisted to go with her. But when she heard I've summoned a human, she insisted to 'supervise the human so he wouldn't jeopardize the searching in order to change sides" Oh god, I have to babysit a princess AND her friends? I'm sorry Celestia, but that's not gonna happen. "With all due respect princess, but I have to object. Don't say 'I work alone', too cliche. First, I don't think a sheltered princess would be able to withstand such a journey. Second, I'm not gentleman enough to listen to their complaining. Third, I work alone." Aaaand there we go. Cliche as fuck. "My apologies sir Drexler, but they're already on their way to Canterlot to meet with you and get ready for the journey." Right after these words a pony in a butler tux came in. "Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and the Elements of Harmony, have arrived." After that announcement, he opened the double doors and revealed a group of six ponies.
