Meeting the Progeny of Chaos

by TheTobacconist

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Fluttershy, Comedy, Discord
Length: 1143

Screwball comes by Fluttershy's cottage.

Screwball is looking for her daddy. Fluttershy had no idea that Discord had a daughter. Awkwardness ensues.

Published 2013-10-06 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-06 23:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Screwball flew through Ponyville, ignoring the confused exclamations of the ponies beneath her. Her whirling beanie provided sufficient speed, she arrived at her destination quickly. She glanced at the many birdhouses surrounding the cottage, and hovered in front of the stable door.

"That would be a good pun if anyone understood it," Screwball chuckled.

She knocked on the upper half of the stable door. Fluttershy opened the top half.

"Hi!" Screwball yelled and flailed about, "I'm looking for my Daddy!"

"Your Daddy?" Fluttershy opened the dutch door fully, "Are you lost?"

"Not really," Screwball floated into the cottage, "I just heard that he lived here."

"I don't know anyone with children who lives here," Fluttershy admitted, "What does your daddy look like?"

"He's pretty tall. Has a beard, missing a tooth." Screwball sat down on the couch. "Long tail."

"I don't know any stallions like that," Fluttershy admitted.

"He's not a pony." Screwball shook her head, "Uhm... Bushy eyebrows?"

"Not a pony?" Fluttershy frowned. "Do you mean Discord?"

"That's him!" Screwball smiled. "Where is he?"

"He... uhm," Fluttershy took a moment to think, "He's rebuilding a chateau that he made in my closet."

"That makes sense," Screwball said, "Well, I don't want to bother him while he's working. Just let him know I stopped by."

"Please stay a while," Fluttershy insisted as best she could, "If you're alright with that. I didn't even realize he had a daughter."

"I don't want to be a bother," Screwball began to stand back up.

"You wouldn't be," Fluttershy asserted, "Just make yourself at home."

Screwball smiled, took off her propeller beanie, and sat it on the side table. The table floated to the ceiling. Screwball clapped her hooves together, grinning madly. Fluttershy sat down across from her, ignoring the floating table. Living with the embodiment of chaos had numbed her to such things.

"So, umh," Fluttershy looked down at her hooves, "Tell me about yourself. If you would please."

"Well, I've been busy with getting my masters in Applied Chaos Theory, I already have my minor picked out, fourth wall breaking," Screwball summoned a bubble pipe, and puffed away thoughtfully, "I'm in my five hundredth year at the University of R'lyeh, Go NightTerrors!"

"Wait, how old are you now?" Fluttershy asked, and blushed, "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. You don't have to answer that."

"I'm not quite sure," Screwball admitted, "With all this reality jumping and time looping it is really hard to tell. I mean, I'm ageless I suppose, but I'm not even sure what age Daddy meant for me to be when he made me."

"M-made you?" Fluttershy stammered.

"Yeah, sugar, spice, and phlebotinum," Screwball blew a ring of bubbles with her pipe, "There was supposed to be a fourth thing, but Daddy couldn't add it because of copyright laws."

"So, you don't have a mother?" Fluttershy immediately put a hoof over her mouth, "I am so sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Screwball crossed her legs. "No, I guess I don't, but I never really needed one."

"Thank goodness," Fluttershy mouthed silently, and then looked up. "And your cutie mark, what does it mean?"

"This?" Screwball looked at the screw and ball, "It makes more sense if you think of the screw as a line, and the ball as a circle. The line never touches the circle, showing that I specialize in non-tangential connections."

"I didn't really follow that." Fluttershy lowered her head.

"I'm just messing with you," Screwball laughed, "It's random, like me and Daddy."

Discord burst out of the closet. He was clothed in a construction uniform, complete with a hardhat.

"Daddy, that joke is really tasteless," Screwball accused.

"Not really," Discord tossed some long two by fours back into the closet, "It was unintentional really, an accidental joke set up by a poor author."

"Really?" Screwball raised an eyebrow. Of course she did not have one of her own, so she was literally raising an eyebrow she had found on a creature who had them. We can call this hypothetical creature with eyebrows Terry. It had been somewhat painful for him when Screwball took a complete eyebrow of his face. Nevertheless, she raised an eyebrow.

"No," Discord sighed, "It was intentional."

He stepped back into the closet. Five Discords popped out, one as a biker, one as a sailor, one as a construction worker, one as-

"No," Screwball put her hooves down, "That's offensive."

Discord pulled himself back together.

"Let me guess," Discord snarked, "They taught you cultural sensitivity at that fancy school of yours."

"A little," Screwball confessed.

"Why do I even pay for you to go?" He asked.

"Because you love me." She nuzzled his paw. "And you know you don't actually pay a thing."

"Discord Fun Bits are a legitimate currency," Discord insisted, "I don't care what anyone else says on the matter."

"You know that they only accept your Fun Bits because they use them as landfill," Screwball giggled, "Right?"

"How dare they use my Fun Bits on something so responsible," Discord fumed, "They are only meant to be used on frivolous purchases or thrown at nuns."

"So," Screwball sat back down. "Your girlfriend is cute."

Fluttershy's jaw dropped, and her eye twitched. Discord stopped moving. He pulled a glass from the air, summoned a miniature cotton candy cloud, and filled the glass with chocolate milk from the cloud.

"Could you say that again please?" He put the glass to his lips.

"I said your girlfriend is cute," Screwball repeated.

Discord spewed the glass out of his mouth. Screwball grabbed her beanie, and used the propeller to blow the glass back into Discord's face.

"I think we have a misunderstanding here." Discord wiped the glass off his face and pushed the milk back into the cloud.

"True. But obviously not on my end." Screwball nodded and set the beanie back on the side table. "So, you live together?"

"Well, yes," Discord admitted.

"And you like her?" Screwball smiled, placing her chin on her hooves, her purple eyes whirring into the shape of hearts.

Discord scratched his neck. "Yes, but as-"

"And she's special to you?" Screwball drew out the 'special', doing her best not to giggle.

"Yes," Discord agreed, "But as a-"

"Then she's your girlfriend," Screwball stated, placed her beanie on her head, and hovered, "Well, nice seeing you Daddy."

She held him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. She looked down at Fluttershy, and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Personal space," Fluttershy mouthed, "Personal space."

"Good luck becoming mom," Screwball whispered.

Screwball flew off, flubbering her lips with her hoof. Discord and Fluttershy watched her from the stable door.

"I think we gave her the wrong impression," Discord looked down at Fluttershy, "What are we to each other?"

"Friends," Fluttershy offered, "For now."

"Yes," Discord agreed, "For now."