Prime Time to Brush™

by Flint Sparks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Iron Will, Random, Colgate, Sweetie Belle, Nurse Redheart, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1030

Iron Will hosts an infomercial about health and hygiene with Ponyville's finest duo.

Iron Will hosts an infomercial with Colgate and Nurse Redheart on the importance of staying home when you're sick.

The results are unexpected, to say the least.

Published 2013-10-07 19:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-07 19:10:03 UTC

Show Time

Princess Twilight Sparkle trotted into Fluttershy’s living room after relieving herself. It was a nice, warm relaxing day and the princess felt like spending the day with a calm pony like her shy friend. Fluttershy was busy adjusting the set of her new television and moving the antennas in several directions.

“Here, let me get that,” Twilight suggested as her magenta magic grabbed a hold of the receptors and adjusted them to the correct position, instantly restoring the snow to the broadcast they had intended to watch.

“Thank you, Twilight. You’re much better with technology than I am.” Fluttershy smiled at her friend through her mane and gently flew to the couch, taking a seat next to the lounging princess.

The broadcast abruptly changed to a commercial. Twilight immediately began to bounce in her seat.

“Yes yes yes!” she squealed with each jump. A few days after her coronation, two mares had approached her with concerns involving the populace. After much debate, Twilight finally convinced them education was the best possible solution and had arranged for their new education infomercial to broadcast during prime time.

A small white filly lay in bed, sweating. An older mare with a lusciously styled mane held a thermometer in the filly’s mouth, checking her temperature.

“Hey! That’s Rarity!” Twilight cheered, clapping her hooves. Fluttershy smiled and lightly tapped her on the shoulder with a wing.

“Twilight, I think it would be best if we watch it.” Twilight, in response, took a deep breath and forced herself to be silent as to not miss a single second.

The filly stared at the white mare as she shook her head, staring at the temperature on the thermometer.

“I’m sorry, darling, but you simply can’t go to school today. You’ll get everypony sick.” With those words, the mare trotted out of the pink and decoration-less room. It was obviously a low budget set, having a single pink wardrobe and a blue painted door.

The filly creeped out of bed and slipped under her saddlebag for school. “I can’t miss school! What if I miss getting my cutie mark?” She bounced to the door, coughing a fit, and placed her hoof on the doorknob.

And twisted the knob.

BOOM!

“IF YOU GO TO SCHOOL SICK, YOU’RE A PRICK!” screamed a voice from the smoldering hole that used to be a wall. The filly screamed in sheer terror.

“AH!!! Who are you ponies?!” the filly cried; her plot bounced against the door as she tried to back away. Three silhouetted figures confidently strode through the wreckage.

“I am Colgate! Defender of all teeth and slayer of plaque!” the blue mare announced, puffing her chest out.

“Redheart! The bloodthirsty protector of all health and vitality!” the white mare with a pink mane-bun declared, holding a majestic hoof up in the air.

“I AM IRON WILL! IT’S TIME TO TAKE A PILL!” the muscular minotaur roared as his hand slipped down to his utility belt. As the filly screamed in terror, he pulled out a blue pill and threw it like a fastball. The filly’s cries ceased and became guttural chokes as the pill obstructed her throat, completely missing her teeth and lips.

“IF YOU’RE FEELING FEEBLE, TIME TO TAKE THE NEEDLE!”

“For vaccinations!” Nurse Redheart smiled as she pulled out a needle the size of her barrel. She jumped into the air and stabbed the choking filly in the side with it as she injected green glowing fluid into her. Colgate saluted her as Redheart walked back to the group.

“COLGATE, MARE OF FACT! USE YOUR BRUSHING ATTACK!” Iron Will ordered, pointing his finger dramatically as the filly’s face turned purple. Colgate took out her emergency toothbrush and used her magic to brush the filly’s teeth until she began foaming at the mouth. The choking filly’s eyes rolled as she choked on the foam. “FEELING FLUSH? DON’T FORGET TO BRUSH!”

“LITTLE FILLY, FEELING NOT SWELL? IRON WILL MAKE YOU ALL WELL!” the minotaur shouted as he picked up the filly in his arms and began rocking her. Her hooves began to twitch.

Nurse Redheart stood on her hind legs and lifted a bowl of tomato soup to the filly’s mouth. “Here’s some soup to make you feel-”

“BETTER! IRON WILL MAKES THE BEST SITTER!” Iron Will poured the liquid onto the filly’s face, threw her over his shoulder, and pounded her back. Her immediate reaction was spewing the pill, foam, and soup onto the opposite wall and painting it a sickly orange and pink blur.

The filly struggled in his grip, tears flowing down her cheeks. “Leave me alone! Let me go! WHO ARE YOU?!” she squeaked in her prepubescent voice. Iron Will merely laughed.

“WHO AM I, REALLY? THE ONE TO HEAL YOU, SILLY FILLY!” he chuckled, taking the small filly in a single hand and lifting her behind his back as his muscles contracted.

“W-what are you doing?!” she screamed, frantically flailing all four hooves. Her squeaking voice had become clear in her absolute terror.

The camera zoomed in to Iron Will’s face. He smiled, his whitened teeth glistening onscreen.

“A SICK FILLY GOING TO SCHOOL, INSTEAD? LITTLE MISSY, IT’S TIME FOR BED!” Iron Will grunted as he threw the small filly to her bed, breaking the frame in half as the filly lay twitching on the wreckage.

The camera panned to the two mares to the side.

“Remember fillies, when you’re sick it’s time to stay home. Most illnesses are very contagious,” Nurse Redheart informed as she shook her head slowly.

Colgate grinned widely, showing off her reflective pearly whites. “And don’t forget to floss! Getting rid of plaque prevents disease and keeps your teeth bright and shining!”

Iron Will stepped in front of the mares and crossed his arms, an angry expression plastered on his face. He then pointed to the camera, frothing at the mouth.

“IF YOU’RE SICK, STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL! OTHERWISE, THAT JUST ISN’T COOL!”

“And now back to How I Met Your Breeder."

Fluttershy’s eyes twitched as she watched the screen. Twilight brought a lavender hoof to her eye.

“That… was… beautiful…” she sniffed, wiping away a single tear.