Now, before I begin, let me just say that what I am doing might cost me my job and, possibly, my life. This is meant to be top secret and not to be shared with the public or the Internet. I know I have said this many times, but I just need to get this clear and make sure that you understand.
Anyhow, with that being said, let’s get on with what you came here for.
Diary Entry #1
6/1/13
I honestly don’t know why I’m even writing in this. The doctors said that it would help me with my disorder, which they still haven’t figured out what it is yet. Oh well; I have enough patience to wait.
I guess I could start by introducing myself; my name is Robert and I’m thirty five years old. I’ve been suffering from this sickness for as long as I can remember.
I don’t really remember much of my childhood, which isn’t a good thing I know. All I remember is me having temper tantrums and my mom going off on my dad. I didn’t really have that many feelings for my mother. I’m not saying that I don’t love my mother; believe me I love her to death. I’m just saying that she didn’t take responsibility for me. My dad cared about me the most and he’s my fucking hero. He’s the one that got me out of there. It didn’t really make my disorder any better. I still had my temper tantrums, but nowhere near as bad. My dad would say very comforting things to me, like how much he cared about me and that the fact that I was away from my mother made feel a lot better. Like I said; I love her to death and that feeling will never go away.
Now; let’s see what else I could talk about here. Oh; the pills that they are giving me. They’re small capsule-like pills and their color is green. Strange color if you want my personal opinion.
I guess I could also talk about the staff of this place. They’re really nice, unlike the others where they are just straight-up douchebags and forcing you to do shit. I wasn’t a patient of those kinds of facilities. This is the first institution that I’ve ever been to and I don’t seem to regret it.
They let you take your time and whenever a patient has a break down, they always seem to calm them down. However; the only reason that they are able to do so is with their magic. One of the patients here told me that if they start using their magic, it’s nothing to be afraid of. From what he’s told me, it feels like you’re in a completely different state; a state of peace and satisfaction. If that’s the case, then I’m really glad I came here.
The only thing that I’m worried about is turning up missing. Apparently, from the rumors that I’ve been hearing, there were a couple patients that disappeared into thin air; WAY before Nightmare Moon appeared in Ponyville.
Speaking of Ponyville; before I came here, I decided to check out the little village and it is a great community. I’ve never met people so nice to you. There were very few people that gave me dirty looks, but it didn’t bother me. I brushed it off.
Well, I guess that’s it for me. I’ll write tomorrow, if there is even anything interesting to write about. Hopefully, there might be a fight or something. That shit gets me fucking excited. I love fighting.
So his name is Robert and, from what I’ve read, he’s had a history with this unknown disorder. It still mystifies me that the doctors couldn’t figure out what his disorder exactly was.
Diary Entry #2
6/6/13
Sorry I haven’t been writing anything for the last five days. Nothing interesting has been happening lately. Today, however, was a really interesting day. Apparently, the doctors contacted Princess Celestia herself, telling her that they couldn’t figure out what my disorder was and that they wanted to see if she could at least get some ideas or clues on what it is.
It was a really big surprise to me because, on the 4th of June, they told me that they were going to be bringing a special guest over to my room to have a long chat with. I figured that it would be some sort of consoler or something, but not HER. It was a big honor for her to be in my presence and I’ve always wanted to meet her. It was a shame that Princess Luna couldn’t join, but I wasn’t complaining in any shape or form.
For the last few hours, I tell her everything about me and my disorder; mainly the temper tantrums that I had when I was a little boy. At the last few minutes, when I was done talking, she wanted to do something a little different. She told me that she had the ability to see what is going through my mind. All she had to do was put her hand on my forehead and focus her magic on my brain. I accepted her offer and she did just that. This went on for a few minutes and she finally stopped. I looked at her and she seemed to be looking normal. She told me that she couldn’t see anything wrong. Then, before I could say anything else, she just left the room.
At the time, I was confused, but then I shrugged it off and continued doing what I mostly did; watch television or look up at the ceiling.
Now that I think about it, there must be more going on than what she led on. What did she see in my head that caused her to leave like that? I’m saying this because the doctors are outside my door right now, watching me extensively. I’m beginning to get a little worried. What’s going on?
I have to agree with Robert; Celestia’s behavior was very strange. What did she see that made her react in that way? It’s not like her to leave so abruptly like that. Not even a simple goodbye or anything.
Diary Entry #3
6/20/13
Has it really been almost three weeks already? Jesus, time flies by quick. The doctors still haven’t found anything yet. This is beginning to worry me a little bit. The doctors don’t have answers and Celestia probably has the answers I’m looking for; but she won’t tell me what it is that’s causing my sickness. This is getting really annoying. I fucking want answers. That’s the whole reason why I came here; to know what’s happening to me and to be cured from this disease.
I wish my dad was here. He would know what to tell me.
Diary Entry #4
6/21/13
I had the weirdest dream last night. I told my doctors about it and they advised me to write it down in my diary for documentation.
I was in a forest, probably the Everfree Forest and I’m walking around the joint casually. This continued for a long while. As I’m walking, I suddenly get this feeling of rage and sorrow. I wanted to turn around to see what was behind me, but something held me back from doing so. I then heard footsteps coming from behind me. I tried to walk away, but I couldn’t do so. I couldn’t even open my mouth. I could only blink my eyes.
The footsteps stop and I heard only silence for a few minutes. Then, out of fucking nowhere, I hear a low growl. It was loud at all. It was a very quiet growl. I then feel hands on my shoulders and something breathing on my neck. I then feel a very sharp pain in my stomach and, to my horror, there was metal sticking out of it.
That’s when I woke up, drenched in cold sweat. It was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had in a long time. Who- no, WHAT was behind me? This is going to bother me all night.
I’m starting to think that this is more than just a disorder, but I can’t jump to conclusions just yet. I need to read the rest of the entries before I do so.
Diary Entry #5
6/23/13
I got into a fight today. It wasn’t anything physical or anything; it was just us screaming at each other. He was the one that started it. I was about to punch him right in his fucking mouth, but the security guards stopped it before it got ugly and, honestly, I’m glad because I could have really injured him. I still have that temper; it’ll never go away and that’s something that I have to live with for the rest of my life.
Other than that, nothing interesting happened today. I had to stay in my room for the rest of the day. They still came by and gave me lunch, which was very nice of them. It’s still one of the reasons why I love Canterlot and the residents.
I’m getting tired. I think I’m going to-
It ends there. He probably just fell asleep or probably had another fit. Yeah, it says on his medical record that he’ll have strange fits on occasions. From reading the medical records, it basically tells me that it rarely happens, so I guess something must have caused it. Again, I’m not jumping to conclusions just yet.
Diary Entry #6
6/25/13
I am so pissed off right now. Okay, let me just give you a basic rundown of what fucking happened to me a couple minutes ago.
So, as usual, I wake up and I’m released from my room to get breakfast and a cup of coffee. You know; the usual. As I’m eating and drinking my coffee; I hear footsteps coming towards me. I turn around and, right away, I get a big punch to the face. I fall on my ass and I started to taste blood. I check to see if my nose was broken and, you guessed it, it WAS broken. I looked at my fingers, with the blood from my nose, and my vision was starting to get blurry. I was blacking out. The last thing I remembered was staring at the guy that punched me; James (#1298).
The doctors told me that they had to get three security guards just to get me under control, which is crazy. I knew my anger was bad, but I didn’t know it had to take THREE of them to pin me down. Am I really that strong? If that’s the case, then there’s a lot to my strength that I don’t know about.
They also told me that I would have to stay in my room for a couple hours to calm down, which is reasonable.
Oh, and get this; James is now in isolation. Good. That’s what he gets for being the fucking idiot that he is. I don’t even know the guy and yet I will expect him to be the biggest pain in the ass while I’m staying here. I won’t really be here for that long anyway. I’m only going to be here for about five months. That should be enough time for me to at least find out what’s causing my mental sickness.
Anyways, I hope that shit doesn’t happen again.
I don’t really blame the guy for being pissed at that particular moment. What James did was ridiculous. Why did he suddenly attack Robert like that? Was James the person that Robert was arguing with in Diary Entry #5?
Diary Entry #7
Unknown Date
Bad dream. Running. I was in a forest. Kept running. Heard screaming. Sounded like children. Came from the woods. Felt something grabbing my shoulder. Heard very loud grow. Woke up. Can’t go back to sleep.
Want this to stop. Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop
Diary Entry #8
6/26/13
I don’t even remember writing that. That is NOT something I would write in my journal and I also don’t remember having any nightmares at all last night. I wasn’t even close to having a nightmare. I was dreaming about taking a walk down a dirt road on a sunny day. How is that a nightmare?
What’s happening to me?
This is very strange behavior. What caused Robert to write something like this? Was the nightmare that bad?
This also doesn’t make any sense. How can he have a good dream while having a nightmare?
Diary Entry #9
6/27/13
I know what I wrote was yesterday, but it still scares me to no end. What made me do that? Like I said before, I don’t ever remember having any nightmares that night. In fact, I wasn’t having a nightmare at all. I was having a completely different dream.
I’m starting to think that what I have is a lot worse than I originally thought. I will be keeping a close eye on myself from now on and I’ll ask the doctors to the same.
This is starting to scare me pretty badly. I came here to get better; not to get worse.
I want HELP. SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME DAMMIT.
It seems as time goes by for Robert; it only gets worse. Unfortunately for him; it’s only the beginning.
This is the last entry in this journal. We have two more journals to go through. Yeah, that’s something I forgot to mention before; after Diary Entry #9, all the rest of the pages have been torn out. The doctors told me that Robert requested for two more journals to write on. The reasons were never told.
I haven’t read the last two, so that’s what I will be doing here in the near future. I’ll post the second journal once I’m done reading it. The third one, I’m not so sure. It looks torn up and the front label says:
"STAY AWAY."
I don’t know what that’s all about, but I’ll find out once I start reading it. Why do I have this feeling that I shouldn’t be reading this? It could be from the nervousness, but I’m not entirely sure.
Anyhow, I’ll post the rest of them here in the near future. Yes, I will be posting ALL of the entries in his three journals.
Author's Note
So uh...did you like it? I sure hope you did.
I’ve already finished reading Robert’s second journal. Here are the entries from it:
Diary Entry #10
7/2/13
I should be happy right now, but I’m not. It’s my birthday and I’m not happy. My dad came to Canterlot to see me, but the doctors wouldn’t allow him to do so. I was listening to the argument the whole time and I just wanted to get into the whole situation, but something held me back and made me listen.
After a couple minutes went by; my father gave up and asked them to bring a note to me and that’s when he left. After another couples minutes went by; the male doctor read the note and then told the nurse to burn it, because of Celestia’s orders.
That crossed the fucking line for me. I ran up to him, socked him in the jaw, grabbed the note and ran to my room. I read the note, and all it said was how much he missed me and that he wanted me to come home soon.
What did he mean by “Celestia’s orders”? What the fuck?! I’m starting to get really pissed off. What happened to me getting better? They haven’t been doing shit for me ever since Celestia came and gave me a visit.
What the fuck is going on here? Is this really a mental hospital or is it a completely different facility because my mental disorder is getting worse and worse.
“Celestia’s orders”? Was Celestia trying to keep Robert from seeing his family or did she just want them to stay away from Robert due to his disorder?
Diary Entry #11
7/3/13
Wow, another shitty day? That’s totally not surprising. Guess what happened to me today? I woke up; STRAPPED ONTO MY BED. I started freaking out, but I got a slap to my face. Guess where it came from; that one doctor that tried to burn my father’s note yesterday. Yeah, he was pissed at me for doing that and, for my punishment that I don’t deserve; I have to stay here for a longer amount of time due ‘to my sickness getting worse’. Guess how long I have to stay here now; A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR.
The thing that pissed me off the most was the fact that he told me this;
“Princess Celestia has given us orders that you are not to see your family or relatives until you get better.”
Here’s what I said:
“Okay, what is going on here? You won’t tell me anything, you don’t treat me the same way you people did when I first came here and you’re pretty much watching me constantly ever since Celestia left. And what do you mean by “Celestia’s orders?” Is she seriously trying to make me worse? You’re a fucking doctor! You people should know that I need to see my father every now and then. This is an outrage! You can tell Celestia that what she is doing is ridiculous and that she pretty much violated my right to see my family! You can’t do this to me! Why do you think I’ve been getting worse? It’s because you people won’t tell me what’s going on, you’re not doing anything to make me feel better and you won’t let me see my own father, which not only makes it worse; but it makes me regret even coming to this damn place. Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to deserve this? This is a place for people to get better, not worse. So, why are you doing this to me?”
He didn’t answer. In fact, he left; laughing. This is just cruel. Why is he doing this to me? More importantly; why would Celestia not want me to see my family again? What the hell is going on here?
This just gets worse and worse for Robert. He’s right; what Celestia did was ridiculous. This isn’t the kind and sweet Celestia that everyone knows. No, this is a completely different Celestia; a cruel and heartless Celestia. What she was doing is just completely nuts. It isn’t right.
Diary Entry #12
7/9/13
I had another weird dream again. It was even weirder than last time. It was more like a nightmare. Here’s what happened.
Instead of being in the forest; I was in a building. It looked like a very old abandoned factory. I walk around the place to look around and I hear chanting somewhere in the second floor. Since curiosity got the best of me, I went up the stairs to see what was going on. I make it up to the second floor and I look ahead to see a big hallway. At the end of the hall, I see a door that illuminated light from the other side of it. I started to walk towards it, but I also made sure that I was quiet, so that nothing could be heard. I finally make it towards the door. I grab the doorknob and I barely open the door; just enough to see what was going on. When I was able to see what was in there, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was a cult gathering. I watch and observe as they chant. I then heard muffled screams. Two members brought out somebody. I didn’t recognize him at first, but I would soon get the answer. The man had a hood on his head, but the two members took it off and I was shocked beyond all belief. It was my dad. There was a tall man that wore the same hood as the rest of them. He spoke in a language I couldn’t understand. Then, a woman walked over next to him, speaking in the same language. Her voice sounded very familiar, though. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know I have heard her voice before. It was not Celestia, I know what her voice sounds like. She was different. She was a bit shorter than the man standing in front of my father and her skin was a bit darker than Celestia’s.
The women asked my father a question and this is what he said:
“I don’t know what you want from me. I gave you everything I had; including my other son, so what else do you want from me?”
The woman laughed and said:
“We don’t want anything else. We got you to simply say that your service is no longer needed. However, don’t think you will be walking out of here with the knowledge that you know now. We want to keep this cult a secret and with you being out there in Equestria; we want you silenced. Guards; hand me my axe!”
As soon as she said that, I knew what was coming. I wanted to go in there and stop it; but something was holding me back. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything but watch the horrors of what was to come.
The guard gave the women her axe, put my father’s head on the floor and said these last words:
“Tell Jonathan that I said hi.”
With that said she raised her axe and swung it at the floor. It hit my father’s neck and that’s when his head was rolling onto the floor; rolling towards me and out of the room. His eyes were looking at mine. I was horrified. When it seemed that it was all over, his eyes blinked and I was about to scream, but then I held it in. My father looked at me and said:
“I’m sorry, Robert. I’m very and truly sorry.”
I was in tears. I was about to say something, but then his head turned into ashes and it disappeared into thin air. I looked at where my father’s head was for a couple of minutes, before I got the feeling that I was being watched. I looked at the room and all of them were right at the door; staring at me. That’s when I started running, but was immediately halted by a force. I looked below me and I saw that I was being held by an aura of magic. I tried to break free, but it was no use. I was then spun around and I was looking right at the face of the women that killed my father. She removed her hood and when she did, my vision went extremely blurry. I think I might have seen her eyes. I believe her eyes were the color green, but I’m not sure. The worst part is that I heard another women laughing right beside me. I instantly got the feeling of utter dread.
The second woman took her hood off as well. Again, I couldn’t make out anything but her eyes. Her eye color was purple.
After a few minutes of silence, the woman with the green eyes said:
“Look at that. You’re the last one of your family. You are all that’s left. Your mother is dead, your brother is dead and your father is dead. That only leaves you alive out of your entire family. Don’t worry, when we find you, we won’t kill you. Instead, we will make you feel like the person that you are. However, it won’t last forever. Eventually, we will kill you, but not physically. No. We will kill you mentally. How does that sound?”
I didn’t say anything. Then, the woman on the right said:
“The exact response we were hoping for; silence. We know you fear us. We fear you as well. We know what you are capable of. You know James that you fought with? He’s dead and he will never forgive you, just like you will never forgive yourself. However, you don’t feel guilty about it and that’s why we like you. We want you to become one of us, Robert. Though, it isn’t a good time. Eventually, we will take you under our ‘care’ and make you become one of us. Until then…”
They both stood back and I saw a very dark aura form, from what I assume is their hands, and they both said:
“Farewell.”
They fired at me and I was engulfed in the darkness.
That’s when I woke up screaming, drenched in cold sweat.
I’m still sweating my ass off and it’s currently 4:00 a.m. I’m not going to let a nightmare get in my way. It was just a nightmare. My dad is still alive and I don’t have a brother, as far as I know.
It still makes me think; who were those women that were speaking to me? I’m not scared of them. Why would I be? I knew it was a nightmare as soon as I saw their little cult, if it even exists.
And what the fuck do they know about me? They don’t know shit about me! If they really do know who I am and what I’m like; then all I have to say is: COME AT ME.
Anyway, I’m going back to sleep. I’m tired as hell.
Diary Entry #13
7/12/13
Today has to be the worst day in my entire life. One of the nurses that actually give a shit about me; Carrie, comes in and tells me that my father has been found dead in Manehattan. As soon as she told me that, I started crying my eyes out. It felt like a part of me died inside. I’m still crying as I’m writing this. Some of the tears are falling onto the page, but I don’t care.
Carrie is standing outside of my room, making sure that I don’t have an episode. I can understand her concern. In fact, it comforts me that there is actually somebody in this damn hospital that cares about me. She’s the only nurse here that I can actually talk to and she’s the only person that comforts me when I’m in emotional pain. What I’m feeling right now is the worst kind of emotional pain I have ever had in my entire life.
I can’t write about this right now. I need to calm down and talk to Carrie.
This Carrie character really interests me. He never talks about her until now. I never saw her in the hospital at Canterlot because I interviewed every employee and they have never mentioned any woman by the name of Carrie. Was she just a figment of his imagination or was she an employee there at the time when Robert was still there and either got fired or quit her job there? It’s weird. Why didn’t he mention her in the past entries?
Diary Entry #14
7/12/13 (same day)
Okay. Now I’m calm enough to write about this. It took me at least two hours to calm down. It’s now 12:30 p.m. If it wasn’t for Carrie, it could have taken me a lot longer to calm myself down.
So, she basically gave me the newspaper explaining what the police found. They found my father’s body in an abandoned building in Manehattan with his head completely decapitated, plus the loss of a couple vital body organs, including the heart. They don’t have any leads at this point, which kind of bummed me out to no end. I know who did this to my father. I wish I can find her, but there are two problems; there’s no way I can get out of here and I don’t know where that woman could be living at.
God, if only I could be granted with the ability to fly.
I still haven’t told the doctors about the nightmare that I had on the 9th. I’m going to be doing that once I’m done writing this, which is going to be right now. I want to get this out of my chest because it’s been bugging me ever since it happened. It’s probably not going to get a good reaction at all because of what the police have found a couple days ago, which was on the 10th of July.
This is only going to get worse and worse for me. I still can’t believe that my dad is gone and that the fact that he had to die such a horrible death. He’s in a better place now.
If only Princess Celestia didn’t give the staff the orders. It’s still fucking bullshit that she had to do that to me. I don’t care if she’s the ruler of Equestria; she has no fucking right to do that to me. What she did was below the fucking belt. I’m starting to form a grudge against her and it will never go away for as long as I live.
I say this from the bottom of my heart; once I die, I will forever haunt her every living being until the day she dies. I’ll even haunt her dreams if I have to. No amount of apologizing will ever change the way I feel now. I will never accept her forgiveness, even when I pass on to the afterlife.
I can feel his anger from reading this. It isn’t fair. The least she could have done was let Robert see his father every now and then. Maybe then he wouldn’t have had that grudge he has for her.
Diary Entry #15
7/13/13
You are not going to believe me when I say this; but Princess Celestia had the fucking nerve to come back and talk to me again. They even strapped me down because they knew how much anger I have over her and she even knew it as well. Once the doctors were done with strapping me down, she came into my room and I gave her the nastiest look I have ever given to somebody. She had the nerve to say that…let me write down the whole conversation. I have not forgotten what she said and I have not forgotten what I have responded with.
“...Hello Robert. It’s good to see you again.”
“...”
“As you may already know, your father is-“
“I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW YOU DUMB BITCH!!”
(I screamed from the top of my lungs.)
She just sat there, staring at me. She knew that I was pissed at her. She even had the nerve to give ME a dirty look.
“Oh don’t you DARE give me that look! You know what you fucking did was UNHOLY!!”
“I did that to protect your fami-“
“BULLSHIT!! DON’T GIVE ME THAT. YOU DID IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO SUFFER AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I DID. THANKS TO YOU; MY CONDITION IS TEN TIMES WORSE THAN IT WAS BEFORE I CAME HERE!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WERE YOU THINKING HUH?”
She just sat there, silent.
“YEAH, YOU BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT. I BET-“
“THAT’S ENOUGH!! I DID IT TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY FROM YOU AND IF YOU CAN’T SEE HOW MUCH OF A FOOL YOU ARE, THEN I DOWN-RIGHT PITY YOU.”
I just stare at her, completely outraged.
“…You know what? I pity you as well.”
She gave me a confused look.
“I mean, you’ve been living far longer than any of us have and you can’t even see the decision that you even made was down-right ridiculous. You should know that people like me need to see their family members in order for them to even keep going. You, my fine fellow princess, are ignorant beyond belief and not as wise as everybody says you are. You may have lived far longer than I, but let me tell you, you still have a lot to learn about the mentally ill. Why can’t you see how much I have suffered?”
(I was crying at this point.)
“Do you even know how much I have suffered through my life? DO YOU?!?!”
Celestia just sat there, tears streaming from her eyes.
“My mother never cared for me. She never even gave me anything THOUGHT. She would always give me the nastiest look, basically saying that I’m a worthless piece of shit and that she never loved me. I love her to death, believe me I do, but it’s so hard not to have the biggest grudge over her. She beat me, she tortured me. SHE EVEN MOLESTED ME WHEN I WAS JUST FIVE YEARS OLD AND THAT WAS BEFORE MY FATHER CAME BACK!! Only he knows about it, but now you do. You’re the second person that knows about this. I hope you’re happy. You now know what my childhood is like and that’s not something to be happy about you dumb, FUCKING BITCH!! I…I fucking hate you. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I…”
I couldn’t talk anymore. I just let out everything I wanted to say to her and at that point, I was sobbing. I then heard footsteps coming towards me.
“NO!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!! CARRIE!!!!!”
Carrie instantly ran into the room, unstrapped me and that’s when I grabbed her and embraced her tightly. I was sobbing and a huge amount of tears were streaming down my face and onto Carrie’s shirt.
“Please leave your highness. He really does not want you to be here at all.”
“Of…of course. Robert, I’m-“
“LEAVE!! NOW!!!!!”
(I screamed at the top of my lungs.)
She took no hesitation and left immediately. I then heard intense sobs in the hallway. I didn’t care. I cried my eyes out.
Afterwards, Carrie had to leave because of her duties, but I was calm enough to be left alone. I was still crying, but definitely not as bad.
So now I sit here, writing this. I think I need to take a nap, but first I need water. I’m very thirsty from all the crying that I did earlier. I’m still fucking pissed at Celestia because she actually had the nerve to come back to my room. What the hell was she thinking? Was she seriously expecting this to go as she planned? It was far from what she had in mind. Instead, she now has something on her very conscious and I don’t think that will ever go away as long as she breathes the same air that I breathe in and breathe out of my lungs.
I can’t write anymore. I need to lie down.
I am utterly speechless. I don’t know what to say, other than what Celestia did was utterly foolish. However; I still feel bad for her. She didn’t exactly NEED to hear that from him, but she did deserve it after the decision she made.
Diary Entry #16
Unknown Date
Another nightmare. In factory again. Screams. Screams. Sounded like children. Also many women too. Why are they doing this? To me? Why why why why why why?
Hear something. Only my imagination. Or is it? What’s happening to me?
Want help.
Want this to stop.
Carrie is the only one who gives a damn. Maybe I’ll tell her. Maybe I’ll kill her. Maybe I’ll do what they say, especially the man.
What does he want? What do they want? Why me?
Noise is back. Much louder this time. Now it’s gone. See shadows in hallway.
Oh god. Them again. What do they want? Why me?
Help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help hel-
It ends there. I don’t when this one was written.
There aren’t any details on whom or what was in his nightmare. All I know is that he was at the factory again and it’s most likely that he ran into the cult again, along with the two women that he was mentioning in #12. He also mentioned about a ‘man’. It could be possible that it was the man that he also saw in his nightmare that he wrote about in #12. It could someone/something else, but I’m not completely sure.
Before I go on any further, I thought I would take this time to tell you guys what’s been going on with me lately. I just want to get this out my chest, since it always seems to make me feel a lot better.
Whenever I walk around Canterlot; I always seem to have this feeling where I’m being watched and it always seems to be coming from Celestia’s castle. That’s the big thing that scares me. Either Celestia is planning something…or she knows what I’ve been doing. No, that’s crazy. How would she know what I’ve been doing when she has never been anywhere close to my apartment? Has she really known all this time? What if she’s waiting for the right time to strike? What if I’m in danger?
If that’s the case, then I need to hurry and get this information out. This needs to be shown to the world, so that you will know what happened to this man. I don’t know for sure what happened to Robert, but I think I’ll find out once I start reading his third journal. I mean, come on, in a journal looking like this; the answers will definitely be lying in there. I know it for sure.
Diary Entry #17
8/2/13
It’s been almost a month since I’ve written on this journal. All I have to say is…I’ve never felt this great before. I feel like I’m being cared for again. It’s awesome!
The best part is; I haven’t had any nightmares lately.
…But that still doesn’t mean that I trust them. I don’t trust anybody in this hospital, except Carrie.
Speaking of Carrie, she hasn’t been here in a couple days. I asked the doctors about it and they never answer me. They would immediately talk to me about something else.
I’m sure that she’ll be here tomorrow. She’s probably either sick or something came up.
I hope she comes back. Otherwise, I’m just going to go nuts again…
Diary Entry #18
8/3/13
What a huge relief. I saw Carrie today. However…she’s different. She’s not talking to me today. The doctors said that she had a lot of issues that she had to deal with for the three days that she was gone, so she’s not really that talkative today. I hope she gets better soon. I really need someone to talk to. I’ve been having these thoughts going through my mind and I need to let them out.
It isn’t healthy for me to keep my thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. If I don’t let them out, then I go absolutely nuts and that will lead to a whole bunch of other things.
Anyhow, I’m going to see if Carrie will talk to me. I’ve known her ever since I got here and I know her well enough because she would usually come by my room and talk to me until she had other duties to do around the hospital.
So, wish me luck I guess...
Diary Entry #19
8/3/13 (same day)
Carrie is crying her eyes out right now. She won’t stop crying and the doctors are blaming me for it, even though Carrie has told them multiple times that I didn’t do or it wasn’t my fault. They won’t listen to her and they especially won’t listen to me. I also don’t know where all of her crying is coming from.
We were talking, as usual, and then she starts to talk about her childhood. It was a good thing that she was letting those thoughts and feelings out. However, the thing I wasn’t expecting is the fact that she was…ugh. I think I’d better write down the conversation. That might make explaining things a little easier for me.
At first, she didn’t say much at all. I had to do the talking since she wasn’t going to do it. She laughed here and there. I even told her some of my stories when I went on little adventures around the in my backyard when I was young.
After a while, I tried to get her to talk to me again and I guess it worked. However, it didn’t really go as expected; as you already may know.
“…So where have you been, Carrie? Were you sick or…did something happened?”
“…Something happened.”
(She sounded very depressed when she said that.)
“…Does it involve a family member?”
“…yes.”
(That’s when she started crying.)
“Oh no…Carrie, please don’t cry. Hey. It’s okay. Just calm down and tell me what happened.”
I reached to her and embraced her softly. This continued for a few minutes, but she eventually calmed down.
“…I’m sorry about that, Robert…”
“It’s perfectly alright. I don’t mind. Now tell me what made you break down like that. What happened during the three days you were gone?”
She took a deep breath and started talking to me.
“…Well, first things first; I really wanted to drop by to tell you where I was going, but I was simply in a hurry and I didn’t have time to do so. With that, I deeply apologize.”
“It’s alright. Carry on with the story.”
“Okay…”
She fell silent. She had a nervous look on her face. I was expecting that.
“Carrie. It’s alright. I’ve been through a lot of shit, so don’t be afraid to tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll understand.
Now…please tell me what’s wrong.”
“…My parents were murdered.”
“…Oh my god. I’m so sorry. How were they killed?”
“…Their heads were decapitated.”
“Jesus.”
“Their bodies were found in the same abandoned factory.”
My heart fell to my stomach. I got up and started panicking.
“Robert, calm down. I’m sure that this is some sort of coinciden-“
“No. That is NOT a coincidence. Do you know which part of the building they were found in?”
“Um...I think it was on the second floor. Why?”
“That’s where my father’s body was found. Why would my father and your parents die in that same floor? Do you really think that’s a coincidence?”
“…”
She fell silent.
“…What else was on the report?”
“There were markings all over the walls and your name was on one of the walls, written in blood.”
My eyes widened so badly. That’s how shocked I was.
“…My name…was on the wall?”
“Yeah and they also found a lot of pictures of you too.”
“Okay, this is starting to freak me out. Let’s talk about something else…”
“Robert, are you alright?”
“Not really. It’s nothing to worry about though. Did you attend the funeral?”
“…No.”
I looked at her in surprise.
“No? How come you didn’t attend it?”
“It’s because I didn’t want to fucking deal with my shitty-ass family! THEY FUCKING HATE ME!!”
I’ve never seen her like that. She screamed at me.
“…Carri-“
“Not only are they the shittiest family known to man…”
“Carrie.”
“But they also ruined my fucking life!”
“CARRIE!!!”
It fell silent for a few minutes.
“…Look. I get it. I have…no, I HAD a family like that and look where I am now. You aren’t the only one with those feelings, Carrie. I can totally relate to you. That’s why we get along so great.”
“No…we…don’t…get along…that…”
(She seemed to be fading away.)
“Carrie?”
“No…don’t touch me daddy.”
I realized what was happening. She was having flashbacks. I walk back a few inches; across the room to be exact and tried to calm her down.
“Carrie, you aren’t living with your father anymore. You are here with me. It’s me, Robert. Snap out of it!”
“NO. DON’T TOUCH ME. GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!”
“No…”
She started screaming. Then she stopped after a few minutes and started balling her eyes out.
“…No no no no no no. Not again. Not…THIS.”
“Carrie?”
“DON’T.”
“How are you going to calm down, then? Let me help you!”
“...Robert.”
She started crying even harder now. I ran over to her and embraced her tightly. Then, the doctors came rushing in and I got stuck from behind.
“OW!!!” WHAT WA-“
I was struck again by the guard.
“OW!!!! WHY?!”
“You were attacking Carrie.”
“…WHAT?! THAT’S OUTRAGOUS! HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW ANYWAY? WHERE’S THE PROOF?”
“Right over there. If you didn’t attack her, then why is crying, hmm?”
I looked at him with the nastiest look I could give to anybody. This guy is an IDIOT.
“She’s crying because SHE WAS HAVING FLASHBACKS!!”
“How would you know?”
“I’ve seen it happened to my mother. Do you really think I’m that stupid? Well, let me tell you something-“
“No, let me tell YOU something, Robert. Carrie is no longer allowed to see you anymore because it quite obvious that you are torturing her mental-“
“WHERE’S THE PROOF?! DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF THAT I DID THIS SORT OF THING?! I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING AS HORRIBLE AS THAT TO THE ONE PERSON THAT ACTUALLY GIVES A DAMN ABOUT ME. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME, HUH?! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING THING. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME. WHY DO YOU THINK SHE COMES TO MY ROOM ALMOST EVERY FUCKING DAY OF THE WEEK?! SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME. OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN’T SEE THAT AND YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE MY LIFE AN EVEN BIGGER NIGHTMARE BECAUSE PRINCESS CELESTIA PROBABLY GAVE YOU MORE ORDERS, AM I RIGHT?!”
The doctor didn’t say a word and just left, along with Carrie.
Not only is Carrie crying, but I’m crying too. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to see her again, besides seeing her walk by my door. I’m never going to talk to her again.
What do these ‘doctors’ REALLY want me here for; to torture me some more? That’s it. I’m signing out of here tomorrow. I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m fucking done. I’m going to request to get transferred to another facility. This is fucking bullshit.
I can’t help but feel horrible for Robert. Even I thought that mental clinics were meant to help people. Obviously, in Robert’s case; he was getting the exact opposite. To make the situation worse; Carrie and Robert were separated. I’m just letting you guys know right now; it only gets worse and worse for him.
Diary Entry #20
8/4/13
Today; Carrie has officially quit her job and moved to Ponyville. I don’t blame her. In fact; I feel great for her. Before she left, she came to my room and gave me the biggest hug she can offer. She told me how much she’ll miss me and that she’ll write to me every day. I felt great from that moment on because I’ll finally get to…
Did I just fucking see that?
No…there’s no way that thing is real. There’s ju-
It ends there. The rest is just a bunch of gibberish.
Like with Robert’s first journal; all the rest of the pages have been torn out. I still don’t understand why he would do that.
There’s only one more journal left to read and I can’t wait to get this done.
Remember when I was talking about me getting the feeling of being watched? It happened again. As I was typing out Diary Entry #19, I got the feeling again and it came from behind me. I looked behind me and it was one of my windows. I grabbed my gun (just in case), walked over to the window and peeked out. I saw something in the bushes, but I couldn’t get the details of what it looked like. All I saw was a dark figure. It ran off right when I peeked through my curtains.
I’m starting to ask myself the same question that Robert has been asking himself.
What is going on?
I think I’m beginning to be in mortal danger. I don’t care. Like I said before, I need to get this information out. Then, I’ll burn the journals and that’ll be the end of it…right?
I hope that’s the case.
Anyhow, I’ll begin reading the third and last journal. I’m going to post it when I’m done reading it, which will be in the near future.
Hello.
It really has been a while, hasn't it? The journal? Read it. Couldn't believe what was written on it, let alone who Robert keeps mentioning. Guess I'll just type it up so that you people can read for yourselves. It's pretty mind blowing, especially to me. Why I haven't posted sooner? Been laying low. Found out that Celestia was indeed keeping an eye on me. Had to get rid of my old computer. Using another one. It's untraceable. Now she won't know what I'm doing. Don't know how long that will last. Might as well take advantage of it while I still have some time left, right?
This is an update covering Robert's third journal. It has a lot of useful information that absolutely needs to be shared to the public. I don't know how long it will be before it will be taken down, but read it while you still can. This might just destroy her reputation as the 'kind' and 'loving' princess that you all know. What you all don't know is that she's a monster. Read for yourself. There's only three pages in this journal, but they are part of a huge diary entry that Robert wrote up before a huge time gap took place between this and the last journal. Yeah, there's a forth. Forgot to mention that.
I will warn you; it's disturbing.
Diary Entry #21 (Page 1)
8/14/13
No one cares. You don't care. I don't care. Found a piece of glass on the floor while roaming the facility. Finally found out what this place is. A slaughter house. Carrie was never real. Carrie was only a figment of my imagination. Found out while reading my report. Says that I started imagining a friend named 'Carrie'. Maybe they wrote that so that one day I would find it, read that part and make me believe that she wasn't real. No. She was real. What am I saying? She felt real. Fucking liars.
Keep cutting myself. Feels amazing. Never felt such a rush in my life. Love seeing the blood oozing out of my wrists. They don't care if I cut myself. They see me do it, but only smile and laugh. Glad I'm entertaining the folks here. I like it here now. Feels like home. I miss them already. Wish they would just come into my room and do the shit they did to me yesterday. The pain now gets me excited. Used to it. They cut off two of my toes off, so that 'I don't escape'. Why would I escape such a play like this? It's great here!
The hell am I saying? I HATE IT HERE! I wish I could just go home and see my friends. No, I have no friends. No one cares. You don't care. I don't care. No, I do care. Care about my sanity, but I already lost it. They think that they can break me, but they won't. I'll keep fighting til I die of exhaustion. Fuckers think they're smarter than me. They aren't. I found a way out while roaming around today. Found a piece of glass on the floor. Went back to room. There, I cut myself. Feels amazing. Never felt such a rush in my life.
Wait, didn't I write that already? God, I really am broken, aren't I? I need to get a grip on myself. I need to focus on getting out of here. But what chance will I have in breaking out, anyway? It's over. I'm going to die here. It's all her fault. Celestia.
Speaking of her, she visited me again a couple days ago. She just stood over me with an angry glare. Luna did the same. Luna never cared. She only pretended to care. They're both monsters with the same intentions; to kill me. They won't kill me, though. They'll just keep me alive. Torture me. They might make it look like that I've died, but I really won't be dead. I'll be alive. Whatever you'll hear, it's a lie. Whatever they will ever tell you is a lie. Do not listen to them at all.
Keep cutting myself. Feels amazing. Never felt such a rush in my life. Love seeing the blood oozing out of my wrists. It excites me. Gets me going. Gets me going. Gets me going.
Where the hell am I now? In a room. Oh yeah, it's my room. Whoops. Wish something exciting would happen. A hot nurse getting naked, sucking on my thing, and jumping up and down on it while I watch her breasts bounce around. I need some of that. Wish I could get it, but who would want me, anyway? I'm not the same Robert as I was. No, I'm not Robert anymore. Who am I? Who is Robert? Who's journal is this and why am I writing in it? Where am I? Why am I here? How did I get here? Am I going crazy, or are they doing that?
˙ǝɯ uǝʞoɹq ǝʌ,ʎǝɥʇ ʞuıɥʇ ı
This is the first page of the three. Robert is slowly descending into a hell of Celestia's making. Luna may not have anything to do with this. Luna might've been there, but I think Robert thought that she had the same look as Celestia did, hence the reason why he now thinks Luna was never his friend. Though, that's just a theory.
Diary Entry #21 (Page 2)
Though if I was so broken, then how can I be writing right now? Maybe I'm not all that broken after all. Maybe that was just the beginning of what is to come. Now I'm starting to collect myself. So, what do I do now? Why am I asking myself this question when I already know what to do? Why am I asking questions to myself, in general?
Cutting myself really is painful. It's only exciting when I'm going out of my mind. I really don't like seeing these scars on my arm. It really depresses me because I never thought that I would harm myself. Now, here I am, in a room, going insane and cutting myself with glass that I found on the floor.
Wait, I just remembered something. While I'm roaming around, doing my own thing, I do indeed see broken glass. But here's the weird thing about that; there are never any jars, glass bottles or any of that shit nearby.
Oh my god. THAT'S how they have broken me so much. They knew that I would get to this point, so they purposely broken a glass cup or something, picked up the largest piece, put it in that exact spot and leave it there for me to pick up. I really am not as smart as I thought I was. I feel stupid now. I can't be doing this shit anymore. I need to focus on getting out of here. I need to focus on getting out of here. But what chance will I have in breaking out, anyway? It's over. I'm going to die here. It's all her fault. Celestia.
Robert ends up writing the same sentences he wrote on the first page. Skipping ahead to the end of the page.
THERE I GO AGAIN! WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT?! This has been going on for two fucking days now! It's pissing me off. Whenever I'm about to write something important, I just write the same sentence that I wrote a few minutes ago. It's over. I'm going to-
SEE?! TWICE IN A FUCKING ROW! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME?! ...Maybe she's doing that. Celestia. She probably sees me writing and keeps doing this to me. No, that's impossible. I mean, yeah, she's powerful, but I don't think she's powerful enough to the point where she can see what I see and what I'm writing. Now I think I've gone beyond insanity. I don't even think there's a word to describe how crazy I am now. It's unheard of. Or maybe it has been seen before, but I doubt it. Wait. Heard something coming. Hold on a sec. Gonna check it out. Be right back.
End of page 2. Page 3 is where it really hits the fan for Robert. Just read and find out for yourself.
Diary Entry #21 (Page 3)
Okay. Everything is fine. Doctor just came in to give me my daily shot. Only good doctor around here, or at least that's what I think. I hope he's a good guy. He seems to understand my situation. He even says he might find a way for me to escape. Yeah right. No doctor around here would fucking help a person like me. Do I belong?
Whoa, I think it's starting to really kick in no͘w̶.̕ W̶hat͢ ̕d̸id͏ h͘e g̸̶̸i҉v̀e̕ m̕̕͟e̷͡?̴ Some sort of knock-out shot or something? Whoa. I'm getting tired as fuck. This may be it for me. I may be back later, but I don't know. This may be my f̵̛i̛̕ņ̀͟a̕l̛ ḿ͏̸om̨͠e͝n̵̶t̨̧ before they take me to the deeper parts of their hell. Mother, f̴̶̀͡o̸̧̡͟ŕ̵͟͟g̷̢͢͢i͡v̶҉̶̀͜e͟͏ ̵̢̛m͘e͝͏̶̷͢.̢̢͜
The rest of the page is nothing but scribbles and extremely hard-to-read writing. Nothing important nor interesting.
Before I go on to posting the fourth journal, let me explain what's been going on for this past year. I've just been laying low. That's all. I was afraid that if I were to post the third journal immediately, I would be tracked down by Celestia. So, I had to wait. While I was waiting, I got a package in the mail. I opened it up and it was another journal. The fourth one. There was a note attached to it and it said the following:
I know what you've been doing. Do not worry, I'm not one of them. What you have in your possession is the fourth journal of Patient #1308; Robert. If you are to post this, don't just yet. Wait until everything is in the clear. What is in this journal will destroy Celestia's image. She's not who you think she is. Read at your own risk.
I didn't read it immediately. For the rest of the time me laying low, about 3 months later, I finally sat down and read every single page in this journal and let me just say that it is absolutely horrifying to read and picture in your head. I will post it some other time. Right now, I need sleep, because I haven't slept in a couple days. Some time in the future, I will post the entire journal. Everything in it is what I've been looking for this whole time.
Finally, her true colors wil͢l̵ em͡èr̸ge.̧
