Diamond Dentistry

by Bootsy Slickmane

Rating: everyone
Tags: Horror, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate
Length: 2805

Diamond Tiara's day at the dentist takes a very unpleasant turn.

Diamond Tiara does not want to see the dentist. Why would she? Dentist appointments are never fun. But when Diamond's appointment arrives, she finds herself wishing it were only as bad as just being "not fun."

Story revised on 2013, 10, 25 and again on 2013, 12, 01
Now available in Russian, thanks to Lonery.

Published 2013-10-07 16:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-07 16:30:02 UTC

The Doctor Will See You Now

The waiting room was quiet beyond the gentle sound of Filthy Rich turning the pages of a magazine and the receptionist writing at her desk, but Diamond Tiara wasn't paying attention to either sound. She wasn't paying attention to the other stallion waiting his turn nearby, or the mare and foal that came through the front door. She wasn't paying attention to the smiling cartoon tooth on the wall. Instead, her eyes were fixed on the floor and her mind was focused on her current predicament. She'd tried other ways of getting out of her situation, but none had met with success. Perhaps if she badgered her father enough, though, he'd relent.

"Why do I have to go to the dentist, anyway?" she asked for what must have been the tenth time. "My teeth are clean. I'm not some lame loser who never flosses their teeth. I brush every day. I don't need somepony else to tell me my teeth are perfect."

Her father didn't take his eyes off his magazine as he responded, "Diamond Tiara, I've put this off for far too long. It's time for you to see the dentist. You can make all the noise you want, it won't change a thing."

Diamond huffed in frustration and turned her eyes to the clock on the wall. If her memory was correct, they'd been there for 37 minutes. She didn't want to go to her appointment at all, but if she had to go then she'd at least want it to be quick.

"Why do we have to wait so long? I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some stupid dentist's office. I bet the doctor's cutie mark is for all the time she makes her patients spend waiting in this boring room." Her father didn't respond, and Diamond batted a few times at the wooden bead maze next to her seat. Her eyes then moved to mare and foal as they sat down on the other end of the room. Her eyes then turned to the poster of a giant molar on the wall. She stuck her tongue out at the poster and hopped down from her seat. A short walk across the waiting room led her into the little filly's room.

When she returned to the waiting room a few minutes later, she found that her dad wasn't in his seat. In fact, he wasn't in the room at all. Assuming he'd gone to the restroom as well, she sat back down in her seat and prodded at the wooden beads some more. Up one side, twist around in a corkscrew, and down the other side. Whoop-dee-doo.

It was a few more minutes before she noticed that she was the only pony in the waiting room. Even the receptionist sitting beyond the little opening in the wall was gone. The only other face in the room was that of the cartoon tooth on the wall. "Hey, where'd everypony go? I got here first! How come they get to go in before me?" She made a loud "hmph" and crossed her forelegs when her questions were not answered.

After ten minutes of lonely silence, Diamond Tiara's irritation was giving way to worry. She fidgeted a little in her chair, uncomfortable with sitting all alone in the quiet. Her discomfort wasn't eased when a door opened and a light-blue unicorn stepped into the waiting room. "Diamond Tiara?" the mare asked, looking around the room as if there were other ponies present and smiling with her perfect teeth.

Diamond hopped down from her seat and moved over to the restroom door. "About time," she said as she knocked on the door. "Dad, Dr. Slowpony is finally ready." She waited a whole ten seconds before knocking again. As she looked up at the sign on the door, she was suddenly struck with the realization that it was a unisex bathroom. Her father couldn't have gone to the restroom because she was inside the only one at the time. "Dad?" she called out, her tone shifting from irritation to concern. "Dad, where'd you go?"

"Don't worry, your father will be along shortly. Now come on and let's have a look at those pearly whites," the mare said. Diamond Tiara hesitated a moment before walking over to the dentist and following her down the white-walled hallway. The dentist commented, "I'm Dr. Minuette, but most ponies call me Colgate."

Diamond just gave an "mm-hm" in response and kept walking. The two passed a few other doors as they walked, some of them standing open. She glimpsed a familiar-looking, mint-colored unicorn wearing some sort of weird-looking metal contraption on her head. In another room, a pink filly was lying back in a chair as the receptionist leaned over her with a pointy metal rod held in her mouth. Diamond jumped as somepony somewhere screamed and then a door slammed shut further down the hall.

The dentist stopped next to an open door and pointed a hoof through it. Inside was a white room with several cabinets and counter tops, a sink, and a big lamp on the ceiling. In the center of the room was an uncomfortable-looking steel chair with a little table next to it. Beneath the chair were numerous gears and a few hoof pedals. Brown fabric straps hung limply from the sides of the chair.

Diamond Tiara turned to gallop away from the room as another pony somewhere let out a long, sustained scream. She called for her father as her hooves left the tiled floor. The dentist levitated her upward by the tail and tossed her into the waiting chair, her prized tiara tumbling from her head and across the floor.

"I don't need a dentist!" Diamond said as she moved to leave the chair. "My teeth are fine!" The blue and white-maned dentist gripped the filly in her magic and shoved her against the back of the chair.

"Now now, let's calm down," the dentist said cheerily as she strapped Diamond to the chair. Diamond struggled against the restraints as the dentist turned away to open a drawer. The straps around Diamond's body were just loose enough for her to breathe normally, but too tight for her to make any progress toward escape.

The dentist turned back around with a tray of cruel-looking metal tools and placed it on the chair-side table. The chair tilted back and straightened with a series of clicks as the dentist repeatedly stepped a hoof down on one of the pedals beneath the seat.

The dentist held up a metal rod with a small mirror on one end and switched the overhead lamp on. Diamond shut her eyes as the blinding light hit her. "Now, open up and let me see those teeth of yours," said the dentist, pulling Diamond's mouth open with her magic and sticking the mirror inside. "Hmm.... Oh, dear. Oh my. Why, I've never seen so many cavities in one mouth."

"Wha?" Diamond said, trying to speak while keeping her mouth open. The dentist pulled the mirror back out, allowing her to speak normally. "You're lying! I can't have bad teeth!"

"Now, who's the doctor, here?" the dentist asked, still wearing a small smile.

"But that's impossible," Diamond protested, "I brush my teeth every day! And I floss!"

"Well, filly, you must brush with frosting and floss with cotton candy. I've never seen a mouth so bad, especially one as young as yours. I'm surprised you're not screaming in pain from severe toothaches." As if on cue, another pony somewhere screamed for about half a second before abruptly falling into silence.

Diamond Tiara was not liking this. Not one bit. Where was her father? He always knew how to make her feel better when she got nervous. "Where's my daddy?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about him. I'd be more worried about your poor, rotten teeth. After all, I don't know how many I'll be able to save. We might just have to pluck them all out."

"What?! You can't take my teeth!"

"Says the filly who's tied to a chair." The dentist strapped an off-white mask over her muzzle, presumably for sanitary reasons, and turned back to her patient with an unfriendly-looking metal rod gripped in her magic. "Now open up. I've gotta see if I can save those teeth of yours."

Diamond Tiara was breathing unevenly and was starting to shake a little as she opened her mouth, her nerves becoming increasingly rattled. She winced as the dentist poked and prodded at her teeth and gums. After what felt like five minutes, the dentist put the probe away. "Good news, Diamond Tiara. I can save some of your teeth. Unfortunately, I'll still have to pull out at least nine, maybe more."

Nine whole teeth? She couldn't go to school like that! All the other fillies and colts would make fun of her! She hated being made fun of. Diamond Tiara put her hoof down. "No! It's my mouth and you're not taking my teeth."

The dentist leaned in close to her patient, pulling down her mask to reveal a wicked smile. "Stop me," she whispered.

Diamond Tiara's heart rate spiked as panic began to set in. She struggled against the restraints but still couldn't get any closer to freedom. The dentist turned back to the tray of tools, humming quietly to herself as she looked them over. "Daddy!" Diamond called out, her voice cracking slightly. "Daddy, help!"

She could hear the door open, but couldn't see who had come inside until they stepped around the chair. There was her daddy, looking down at his daughter with a complacent little grin on his face. "Daddy, take me home! She's crazy, daddy! She wants to take all my teeth!"

The dentist turned back around to look at the stallion. "Could you hand me that gag, Mr. Rich?" To Diamond's ever-increasing horror, her father picked up the metal device and hoofed it over to the dentist.

"Daddy?" Diamond asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Diamond Tiara, I've put this off for far too long. It's time for you to see the dentist. You can make all the noise you want, it won't change a thing." His smile widened. "And this appointment will be anything but quick."

The dentist pulled open Diamond's mouth and jammed the dental gag inside. With each click, the gag slowly pushed her mouth open wider and the dentist's smile grew larger. Diamond Tiara was openly sobbing as she plead through the gag for her daddy to just take her home. He handed the dentist another diabolical-looking implement, ignoring her completely as hot tears ran down her face.

"Alright, Diamond, are you ready to save those teeth?" The dentist reached somewhere under the chair and came back up with what could not have been a medically-approved device. The drill's tapered bit was itself as long as one of Diamond Tiara's forelegs. Diamond's eyes went wide as the dentist flipped a switch and sent the drill spinning. The only thing louder than the drill's guttural, growling whine were Diamond Tiara's screams as the dentist slowly approached her.

With a sudden crash, the hall door flew off its hinges and knocked the dentist clean off her hooves. Diamond's eyes darted around the room in fright, praying to Celestia that somepony had come to save her. The dark alicorn stepped into view and lit up her horn. The straps around Diamond Tiara and the metal gag in her mouth vanished into smoke, and the terrified filly shot up from the chair to wrap her forelegs around Princess Luna's strong neck. She clung there, crying uncontrollably and asking mumbled questions which were lost among her sobs.

"Goodness, Diamond Tiara, I've never seen a filly so afraid to go to the dentist before." She gently removed the crying filly from her neck and sat her back down on the chair. "Whatever has caused you such fear?" Diamond was too confused by Luna's odd demeanor and too distraught to form a proper sentence and simply sputtered nonsense from her seat. Princess Luna, familiar with such confusion, took the hint. "You are dreaming, filly; this isn't real."

"W-what?" Luna knew what to do next. With a glow of her horn, she banished the dentist's office entirely, replacing it with Diamond Tiara's bedroom. The Princess of the Night sat down on the bed next to Diamond as she tried to make sense of what had just happened.

It took her a few seconds of thinking, but then it was all clear. Now that she knew, it seemed obvious that it was a dream. Suddenly the past few minutes didn't make sense to her, when she'd previously just accepted them. Why would the receptionist be working on a patient's teeth? Why would the dentist have such a huge drill? Why would her father....

"You mean the dentist isn't really evil?" Luna shook her head. "And I don't really have the worst teeth in Ponyville?" Luna shook her head again, smiling softly. "And... and my daddy isn't... my daddy doesn't want to..." Diamond sniffled at the thought and Luna wrapped a wing around the filly.

"Of course not. What sort of pony would want to see such torment inflicted on a little filly?" Luna pulled Diamond in closer to her, doing her best to provide comfort. She'd dealt with a lot of nightmares from a lot of ponies over the years, and had gotten the calming routine down pretty well. "Your father loves you, Diamond Tiara. More than anything in the world."

"Well, then why is he making me go to the dentist? My teeth are fine, really!"

"Dentistry is an important part of of living a healthy life. Though you may clean your teeth with regularity, it is best for an expert to inspect them every few moons. It is... not a pleasant experience, this is true. But it is for your own well-being, Diamond Tiara. This is why your father insists that you visit the dentist. It is because he cares about you, not because he wants to inflict pain or trauma upon you."

"I... I guess that makes sense."

The two sat on the bed for an uncounted number of minutes, both silent. It wasn't until the room softly shuddered around them that Princess Luna patted the filly and spoke again. "It is time to wake up, my dear."

"But... but if I wake up I'll have to really go to the dentist." Diamond shook her head. "I don't want to."

Luna ran a hoof through Diamond's mane reassuringly. "Everypony has fears. It is how we choose to to respond to those fears which defines us. You can either flee from your fears and allow them to continue to chase you, or you can confront your fears and show them that you have courage enough to break their hold over your mind. The choice, of course, is up to you, Diamond Tiara."

Princess Luna faded from sight, followed by the bedroom. All was black until Diamond Tiara opened her eyes. The sun was shining beyond her curtained windows and the sound of chirping birds reached her ears. She got up slowly, taking her time with her morning routine before going downstairs. Even though it had clearly been a dream, she made sure to check that her teeth were alright, which they were.

She found her father in the kitchen, sipping his morning coffee and reading a newspaper. He smiled upon seeing his daughter and got up from his seat.

"Good morning, Diamond Tiara. Listen, I've been thinking about it and, well..." He knelt down, bringing his face closer to that of his daughter. "If you really don't want to go to the dentist today then I can reschedule for next weekend. I'm sorry if I was a little stern with you before, but-"

"I know, Daddy. You just want me to be healthy. I'm sorry I was so stubborn, too. And it's okay; I'll go to the dentist today. I have to face it sooner or later, right?" Her father smiled and pulled her into a quick hug, which she returned.

"That's good to hear. Would you like some breakfast, honey?" Diamond nodded eagerly and climbed up into one of the dining chairs as her father headed for the kitchen counter. Looking back, she couldn't believe she'd had such a nightmare before. What kind of ponies would act like that, anyway?

She shook her head and watched her father make her a sandwich and pour her some juice, happy to be back in the real world where she knew her daddy loved her.

Author's Note

Revised and edited thanks to the advice of MagerBlutooth and Mudpony.