Chapters The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Chapter 1: Taste of Revenge
“Blue…” Marcus muttered. “Not seen blue sky in a while.”
The last thing Marcus remembered was those accursed Elements of Harmony blasting him with some rainbow magic, although the look upon their bearers’ faces was seemingly one of disappointment at the fact that they didn’t have the desired effect. And now here he was, lying on the ground on his face. Hopefully he wasn’t one of those abominations now.
He looked up and saw a purple unicorn in the distance that looked a lot like Twilight Sparkle. Her horn was shimmering, probably summoning all her magic to incapacitate him so she could force that vile potion down his throat.
“Come on, come on, where are you from?” he heard her mutter, before she growled in frustration. He picked himself off the ground and looked behind him, watching as a portal that apparently brought him here abruptly collapsed back into a singularity and winked out of existence.
“Ponyfeathers!” he heard her seethe. Marcus saw a purple dragon slowly approaching him, with Celestia’s damned phoenix chirping from its perch on the dragon’s shoulder.
“Hey....are you okay?” the dragon enquired, gently reaching out to touch Marcus with the tip of its claw.
As he heard Sparkle yell “Spike! Get away from it! You don't know what it is capable of!”, he checked to see if his defensive runes were still working.
They were.
Sparkle’s horn glowed, capturing the baby dragon and dragging him back to her. Marcus glared at her and confirmed, “Sparkle?”
The word was loaded with enough dread to sink a ship. Marcus started staring at her with hate burning in his eyes.
“Um....sorry…” he heard Sparkle say nervously as she slowly started backing up. “I didn't mean to-”
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” he screamed, masculine voice deep and threatening.
“Wait! You're hurt! We can-AH!” Marcus had had enough of this ignorant act, and hurled a scoop of dirt into her eyes.
“I SAID STAY AWAY, YOU GOD DAMN KILLER!” he screamed, bolting away from Sparkle while she tried to clean her eyes. He heard her and that dragon talking for a bit before they started to give chase. Panicking, Marcus began to look for the nearest place he could easily hide from that genocidal murderess. He spotted a shady-looking forest, and immediately began hauling ass towards it.
“Wait! You can't go in there!” he heard Sparkle shout behind him. “Ah, um, yes!”
Not paying attention, he stumbled as she hurled a spell at him. It exploded in a flash of indigo energy, but all it really did was make him slightly drowsy. “Sparkle must be getting soft. Hah! That was a good one” he muttered.
Sparkle had managed to keep up with Marcus, but as they were nearing the end of the town he had woken up in, he could hear her hoofsteps starting to slow down. “That’s odd,” Marcus thought to himself. “Aren’t these ponies known for their infamous stamina?”
Suddenly, he heard a familiar pair of voices approaching. Marcus’s eyes widened. She wasn’t slowing down because she was tired. She was slowing down because she didn’t have to chase him anymore. “Great,” he mumbled sarcastically. “Now I have to outrun a pony with ADHD and an ego so big she can fly!”
“Well Dash, Ah’ve gotta say those are some mighty fine specs. I dunno though, kinda makes you look like a bit of an, oh what’s the word…’egghead’.”
“Egghead? Ha! It takes a real pony to wear these in public! Real mares aren’t afraid to…”
“Applejack! Rainbow Dash!” Marcus heard Sparkle yell behind him as he saw the two ponies coming around the corner. The cowardly rainbow-maned pegasus was wearing a weird cumbersome headset, one that probably allowed her to hypnotize humans or shoot laser beams out of her eyes, and the humans’ info source was apparently discussing how to improve it with her.
“Oh, hey Twi’-” Applejack started, before Marcus rushed past her with a gust of wind.
Behind him, he could hear Sparkle command them, “Girls! Creature! Catch! Danger!” To be honest, Marcus was surprised they didn’t kill him on sight.
When the hoofsteps behind fell silent, he slowed down to a stop at the edge of the town, hands on his knees and chest heaving. He glanced over his shoulder to check to see if the three madmares were still chasing him, and his eyes zeroed in on the three of them. He was shocked to see them so close, but memories of what they had done quickly threw his fear and confusion out the window and poured a bucketful of pure, unadulterated rage into his brain.
“YOU FUCKING CUNTS!” he roared as loud as he could, before abruptly launching himself back in their direction, charging like a locomotive turned loose.
“Whoah nelly!” Applejack exclaimed, shoving Sparkle out of his path while Dash dropped her headset, spread her wings and shot off in a vertical takeoff. As Marcus hurtled up to her, Applejack planted her forehooves in the ground, spun around and lashed out at him with a powerful buck.
“It’s not going to be that easy!” Marcus grinned as he dodged Applejack’s kick, leapt off the ground, and, planting a foot in the orange mare’s back, used her as a springboard to fling himself up at Dash. As the farm pony was smashed into the ground he flew through the air and tackled the cyan pegasus, dragging her back onto the hard ground. The two rolled around for a bit before Marcus managed to pin Dash on her stomach in a submission hold.
“Hey! Get off of me!” she shouted, struggling to throw him off, but was ultimately unable to lift his weight.
“Rainbow, stop struggling!” Sparkle shrieked. “He’s got you in a hold! Quit fighting and he won’t hurt you-”
“Yeah, no, not a chance, bitch” Marcus whispered into Dash’s ear as he dislocated one of her wings with an audible, sickening pop.
“My wing! He popped my wing!” Dash screamed in pain.
“Let’s see how well you fly ‘Dashie’,” Marcus hissed. “When your wings are nothing more than tattered stumps!”
He began to pull on her second wing, causing Dash to cry out, her frantic efforts to throw him off only worsening her agony.
“I’m a comin’ Dash!” Applejack shouted as she began struggling up and throwing herself straight back into the fray, but not before another wet pop announced that Marcus had managed to dislocate Dash’s other wing from its socket.
“My wings!” Dash screamed, before collapsing into wordless howls of pain. Sparkle watched on, not doing a thing. Did she really care so little about other beings that she wouldn’t even help her accomplices? Suddenly, her horn began glowing she galloped up to finish off Marcus, as Applejack had managed to push him away.
Suddenly, Sparkle cast a spell on Dash instead of attacking him. “Ah-ah, ah…” he heard Dash sob, noisily sniffing back the worst of the tears. “Thanks, Twilight!”
“Don't thank me yet. That was only a numbing charm; your wings still need relocating.” Sparkle explained hurriedly, her horn glowing once more as she tried to hurl the same spell she cast on the pegasus at Marcus, only for it to splash ineffectively across his back in a flicker of energy. Marcus felt a slight numbing sensation, but nothing that would impair him in his tussle with Applejack.
“Gah, somehow he’s resistant to magic!” he heard Sparkle scream in frustration.
“Don’t worry Twi, he’s all mine! Get help!” Dash snarled, running straight towards Marcus and Applejack, apparently ignorant of the fact that her wings now flopped uselessly at her sides. What were these things?
Applejack was breathing heavily, trying desperately to wrangle herself on top of Marcus, who was currently trying to pin her. But his fingers gave him the advantage in the tussle, enabling him to hold down her forelegs in a manner no pony could. “Thanks, evolution” he silently thanked.
“I got your back AJ! Take this!” Dash screamed, trying to spin and buck Marcus, who taunted, “Nope!” as he rolled sideways, using Applejack as a living shield. Dash’s hooves plowed into her partner-in-genocide’s gut, the blow powerful enough to cause the unfortunate laborer to vomit up her breakfast.
As Applejack fell aside, breathing weakly where she lay in a foul puddle of half-digested apple oatmeal, Marcus got up and gave her a brutal kick in the ribs.
“Merciless whore! How’s it feel to be on the receiving end for once, ‘Miss Applejack Smith’!? Is honest pain too much for all your lies to take!?”
“Hey, buddy!” Dash shouted, galloping up and hurling her full weight into him. “We’ve got a word for bullies like you here! Glue!”
Splaying his feet, Marcus took the brunt of her attack, and with a feral grin he seized hold of one of her damaged wings, clutching it like a handle.
“Hey! What are you doing?” Dash yelped as fresh pain burst through the numbing veil of Saprkle’s spell. “Hey! HEY! STOP!”
“FUCK OFF, BLUE BITCH!” Marcus roared as he spun, dragging her around like he was cracking a whip with her wing, before he hurled her away at a nearby carrot stall, causing it to collapse in an avalanche of wood, trapping the rainbow-haired mare underneath.
Bruised and beaten, Applejack struggled to get back onto her hooves, when Marcus gave her another cruel kick, knocking her back on her side.
“You’re so proud of your legs” he laughed darkly, causing the steadfast pony to quail in fear. “How’d you like try living the rest of your life without them?” Dropping onto his knees to straddle her back, he began to lay into her hindquarters, his fingers clenched tightly into fists as he started pounding at her flanks and thighs remorselessly, causing her to cry out in pain.
“No, please stop! I need those to support my famil-AIEE!” she shrieked as Marcus brought his elbow down hard, and he heard a bone snap like dry twigs. Perfect.
“Then its fair play!” he roared between blows. “You took my family, so I’ll deprive yours of you!”
Another bolt of magic slammed into his back from behind, with just enough force to knock him away from Applejack.
“Ha!” crowed Sparkle, newly returned with reinforcements in the form of the other so-called “Elements of Harmony”. “Now GET AWAY FROM OUR FRIENDS!”
The dangerous glow of her horn caused Marcus to hesitate for a moment, forgetting about his runes, as the butter bitch dropped down into the street in front of him.
“How dare you...” Fluttershy whispered, her wings flaring and her eyes growing huge and dark as she glared at Marcus. Taking off with uncharacteristic confidence she flew directly at him and hovered in his face, one hoof planted right in his chest. “HOW DARE YOU HURT MY FRIE-ark!!”
Sparkle and Rarity gazed on. Did they seriously not care? Marcus then realized that he was unable to look away from the soul-piercing depths of Fluttershy’s eyes. Furious, he managed to bring his hands up and wrapped them around the “kind” cunt’s neck, clenching furiously in an attempt to choke the life out of her.
“Get out, of, my head!” Marcus grunted, sweat rolling down his brow. “Get. Out. Of. My. Head!”
“Ne….ne….no!” Fluttershy gasped, refusing to break the Stare even as she struggled for breath. “Not…until you stop, hurting, my friends…”
“Never…” Marcus growled, eyes bloodshot and face flushed. “It’s you, or me, Flutterbitch. I’ve dreamed of this moment for years. How does it feel, to be trapped, like the rest of us, in a vice with no escape? The tables have finally turned, bitch! Now, you. Are. Going. To. DIE!””
Fluttershy’s hooves flailed weakly against his chest. The two were locked in a stalemate of wills, and sooner or later one of them would have to yield.
It was Flutterbitch. Starved of oxygen, her eyes rolled back in her skull and she fell limp in his grasp.
“Yessssss…” Marcus hissed in victory as the Stare was broken, tightening his grip as he tried to pop her head off. “YESSSS!”
“HEY, BRONY!” a new voice suddenly screamed, as Pinkamena somehow sprung up between Fluttershy and Marcus, balancing a whipped cream pie on her hoof. “LEAVE THAT MARE ALONE!”
With a mighty swing she splattered the pie into his face, only for him to jerk forward, head butting her right between the eyes, but dropping Fluttershy in the process. “Damnit!” Marcus swore.
“That's not nice!” Pinkamena protested as the force of his blow hurled her back, eyes rolling. Landing in a pink blur, she suddenly produced a huge gunmetal blue piece of artillery as she rolled back onto her hooves. “Now say hello, my little friend!”
Marcus cleared his eyes, only for them to widen in surprise when he saw the big blue Party Cannon aimed straight at him. He had heard stories of the thing, loaded with confetti and potion, and knew he was staring Death in the face.
“Surprise!” Pinkamena whooped, slamming a hoof down on the trigger, firing the cannon and sending Marcus flying through a kitchen window in a blast of confetti and party favours. He groaned as he got back up. Outside, he heard Sparkle marvel “Pinkamena! That was amazing!” as she rushed to help Fluttershy.
He looked around, and found a knife lying on the ground. He crept up to it, picked it up, and silently threw it at Sparkle, hoping that God would take pity this one time and let the knife kill Saprkle. Then again, if God had pity, Celestia would have never invaded Earth.
“Amazing is what I do- DUCK!” Pinkamena forced Sparkle to the ground as the razor-sharp bread knife came flying out of the broken window, embedding itself into a lamppost right where Sparkle’s head had been moments before. Why couldn’t Sparkle just die?
“Pinkamena Diane Pie, you fucking pink annoyance!” Marcus growled, scrambling back out through the window. “Confetti, Pinkamena? Tut-tut. You should have brought your A-Game, because this time I am going to snap your spine, like a damn candy cane!”
“Can't we be friends instead?” Pinkamena ducked his fists while Sparkle teleported away, transporting Fluttershy to safety with her. “My name is Pinkie Pie, hello! Oh, but you already know that. Hey, how did you know my name anyways? You don't have to be a big meanie you know? We can all be friends and play A-Games toge-”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Marcus roared as he lashed out in annoyance, the bellow startling Pinkamena, but not enough for him to actually land a hit on her. “Is that what you call war? Friendship? How about genocide, or isn’t there a word for that in Equestria!?”
The party whore began ducking and weaving between the blows, seemingly contorting like taffy, but her happy smile was quickly vanishing. First her expression morphed into concentration, then panic when Marcus’s fingernails began to graze her coat. Finally he managed scratch her across her butt tattoo, four red welts of blood puncturing the three balloons that marked her “special talent”. Pinkamena yelped in pain, and the moment’s distraction was enough for Marcus to deliver an impromptu haymaker that left her sprawling on the floor. “Shit, maybe I should have boosted that punch with my runes. Oh well, no matter. It still worked!” Marcus added as a quiet afterthought.
Panting from exhaustion, but managing a triumphant stance, Marcus raised his leg over Pinkamena to crush her skull, when a rope sheathed in a shimmering field of magic wrapped around him, pinning his arms and causing him to topple back on the hard cobblestones.
“So undignified,” Rarity stated, horn glowing as she manipulated the rope with her skilled telekinesis. “I must say, ropeponyship is more Applejack’s field of skill, but as the old proverbs say, it takes a beauty to bring down the beast.”
Trotting up, the slutty little cunt smiled and pushed up her mane, batting her eyes as winsomely as she could manage. “Now, would you kindly remain still so that we might discuss this like civilized ponies?”
“Rarity…” Marcus seethed contemptuously, before he flexed his arms, straining against the rope. “I am not, and I will NEVER be, a GODDAMN PONY!”
The weak stitch knot that Rarity had tied him with began to pull open under the strength of his exertions. Narrowing her eyes she lit her horn and took a hold of the rope, trying to restrain him further, but found her magic unable to keep a hold of him, as if both he and the hempen line were covered in butter.
“Oh dear…” the stunned bitch whimpered, before backing off in full-fledged retreat as Marcus managed to free his arms.
“Wrangle him, Rarity!” yelled a limping Applejack. “Ain’t you a proud, magical unicorn?”
“I can't! My magic is slipping off the rope!” Rarity backpedalled further, fear etched onto her face. “Twilight, darling, assistance please!”
“That's it!” Sparkle exclaimed, before teleporting to Rarity’s side, just as Marcus freed itself and attempted to kick the fashionista in the face.
“Hey, you!” Sparkle yelled, drawing his attention. “Meet my friend Sir Isaac Neighton!”
She hurled another bolt of magic at him, but this time a levitated rock was cradled in the spell, and the force of the impact was enough to knock him on his back.
“Smartass little motherfucker…” he seethed, trying to pull himself upright.
“Ha!” Sparkle yelled in triumph. “You might be resistant to magic, but you’re not immune to the laws of motion! Now TAKE THIS!”
Horn blazing, she seized hold of the wreckage of the carrot stall pinning Dash, and flung it at Marcus. However, he turned to face the stall, and crossed his arms in an X in front of him as he shifted his feet to brace himself. The wreckage flew around him, as his runes glowing brightly.
“I…I…” Sparkle panted, before flopping on the ground in exhaustion. “How…runes…” she muttered before falling unconscious.
The remaining five mares all gaped at Marcus, who began laughing mirthlessly. “All this time, you thought you were the better race. The ‘perfect’ race,” Marcus snarled, advancing on the five. “Well, looks like humans are more than just pests you can crush beneath your hooves, huh?”
Grabbing a nearby stick, he sprinted towards the fleeing mares, screaming, “NOW KINDLY DIE!”
He managed to crack the stick against Applejack’s good leg, causing her to trip and fall over with a yelp. Marcus leapt onto Applejack’s stomach, causing her to retch, stomach trying to expel vomit that wasn’t there.
“So, Miss Smith, you claim to have ‘the strongest legs in all of Equestria’, now do you?” he sneered as he began pummeling her face with his fists, her friends watching in horror. “Well, you’re going to have to be more honest with yourself if you’re going to be the ‘Element of Honesty’, bitch!”
Marcus then stood up, grabbed his stick, and swung it over his head at Applejack’s good leg, breaking her thighbone. She started screaming in agony before Marcus lifted her up and put her in a headlock. The other four Elements, who were running towards Applejack to stop Marcus, screeched to a stop.
“Humph,” Marcus grunted in surprise. He hadn’t expected them to stop, as he thought they would figure out a way to eliminate him while saving Applejack. After all, didn’t Rarity know magic? “You seem to have forgotten that we are at war. Well, I won’t make the same mistake you made with us!”
Marcus then grabbed Applejack’s head and twisted it, snapping her neck with an audible crack, killing her instantly. The remaining four mares could only look on in horror at the fact that they were defeatable. “This is the part where you run, and I kill the rest of you” Marcus prompted, before stooping and retrieving Applejack’s hat as a trophy.
The Elements glanced at each other, grabbed Sparkle, and ran.
Marcus was just about to chase after them, before a stray thought hit him. “Shit, Celestia must have figured out by now I’m here by now. After all, I did just kill Applejack! I have to get out of here before the Solar Guard arrives, or the cunt herself!”
He immediately turned around and started running for the forest he saw earlier. As he was running, questions began littering his mind. Why was the town so rural? In fact, where the fuck was he? He certainly didn’t seem to be in upper New York. And why did the Elements seem so…different? Why did none of the townspeople come out? “Oh right, they’re all either dead or ponified into those horrors.” Marcus gave a short bark of laughter.
When he arrived at the forest, Marcus began looking around for a place to camp out. He found a nice clearing where he could spend the night, and lay down to sleep. He reflected on what had happened earlier today, and realized that he had just killed one of Celestia’s figureheads. “I killed Applejack,” he marveled, turning her hat over in his hands. “So they’re not invincible after all. We can do this. We really can! WE CAN REALLY WIN THIS WAR!”
Marcus immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, mentally slapping himself upside his head for his lack of discipline. He scanned the woods surrounding him, ears straining to hear anything out of the ordinary. When nothing moved, he gave a sigh of relief, shifted onto his side, and slept.
The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Chapter 2: Just Try, Try Again
Marcus shifted in his sleep. He wriggled around for a while before sitting straight up, eyes wide open, with only one thought on his mind:
I need to go take a piss.
Marcus scrambled up and tiptoed his way to a nearby bush. It was still the middle of the night, and he didn’t want to go and piss off a bear or something. He unzipped his pants then sighed as he relieved himself. When he was done, he zipped his pants back up and turned around to find a wolf staring at him.
Well, shit.
The wolf tensed, seemingly to pounce onto Marcus, but he wasn’t going to let that happen anytime soon. He rolled to the side as it leapt at him, causing it to crash into a tree. Marcus immediately took advantage of this and threw himself onto its back as it was getting back up. It shook itself furiously before running and jumping all over the place, trying to throw Marcus off. Marcus managed to wrap his arms around the wolf’s neck and twisted its head as hard as he could.
He was not expecting it to snap off into his hands.
A golden-red sap began to drip from the wolf’s neck and head, which Marcus could now tell was made of wood. The corpse collapsed onto the ground with a dull thud. Marcus cautiously approached it and poked it. The corpse did not respond. Relieved, he began searching the body for anything of use. He dug out the creature’s claws and fangs, and decided that the tail would make a nice club and ripped it off. It came off rather easily, and he pondered the stability of the wood. I should probably fire-harden this. But how? It’s not like I have a lighter… Marcus sighed in defeat. Well, back to bashing stones together, I guess.
He spent the better part of an hour finding and smashing random stones together until he found two that produced a spark. Marcus gathered some tinder and wood, then proceeded to start a fire. He then put the stones away for later use. He held each of the claws and fangs above the fire until they were as hard as rock, then did the same for the tail. By the time he was finished, it was still dark out. Marcus shrugged. I guess I could spare an hour or two of sleep. I mean, it’s not like any guards have found me yet.
He did a few drills with the tail, then went back to sleep.
When Marcus came to, the sun was just beginning to rise. He got up with a groan and stretched for a bit, then stamped out the embers of the fire he had made and threw dirt onto where the fire had previously been. Marcus picked up Applejack’s hat, dusted it off, and placed it firmly on top of his head, ignoring the various blood splotches, patches of dried vomit, and spit marks on it. He then picked up the claws and fangs and put them in his pocket, before hefting his club and setting out for the town he fought in earlier. When he reached the outskirts, he heard the sound of some ponies talking. He dropped down to the ground and listened quietly.
“…think this monster is?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not sure if I want to meet it. It took on all of the Bearers of Harmony, and even managed to kill one of them!”
“Yeah, but we have to find it!”
Who do these ponies think they are, guards?
“I know, I know. But why are we posted so close to here? Shouldn’t the Captain be here instead?”
Oooookay, yes, yes they are guards. Great.
“Yeah, I guess. But I don’t want any trouble.”
“Neither do I. Let’s get out of here, I’m starting to get creeped out.”
Marcus heard the two leave, and got up before peeking out from the tree he was hiding behind. He saw the guards grow smaller in the distance, and turned his attention back to the quaint little town, which now had many a pony milling about. How was he going to sneak in? Damn these ponies and their lack of the internet keeping them inside! I knew I should have woken up earlier!
“Hey there!”
Marcus whipped around, club at the ready. Had one of the guards found him? Or worse, Celestia? His gaze fell upon a familiar mint-green unicorn, who was staring back at him in surprise.
“Please don’t hurt me! I knew you guys existed, and this is awesome , but why do you want to hurt me? And the Elements of Harmony?”
Marcus dropped his club in surprise. Could it be? He leaned a little to check the pony’s cutie mark. And there it was, that golden lyre. “L-Lyra?”
The pony stumbled backwards a bit, before tripping and falling on its hindquarters. “How do you know my name?”
It really is her! Marcus walked forwards and embraced Lyra in a crushing hug, before he started to weep into her fur. “YOU’RE ALIVE! You’re alive! You’re alive.” Lyra began blushing at the intimate position they were in. Of course she was alive, she was alive right now, wasn’t she? “Err....the last time I checked, I was alive, yeah.”
“How...how did you escape? Do you have a safehouse nearby?”
Lyra glanced at him in confusion. “Safehouse? Why would I need a safehouse? It’s perfectly safe here in Ponyville, aside from the odd monster from the Everfree. That reminds me, why are you even here? Don’t you know that the Everfree forest has manticores, hydras, cockatrices, timberwolves, and who-knows-what-else in it?”
Marcus felt like he had just threw himself at a grenade as it exploded. “P-Ponyville? Everfree?” He gave a short chuckle of astonishment. “I...I thought we were in upstate New York, or maybe in the Sleepy Hollow Bureau...easier to deal with me away from the chaos of Manhattan. But this... this really is Equestria, isn’t it?”
Lyra frowned as she wriggled out of Marcus’s grasp. “Of course this is Equestria! And what was that about ‘Manehattan’? I’ve got family there, and I’m certain they would have let me know if someone like you had dropped into the Big Apple! WHAT’S GOING ON?!”
Marcus could only stare at her. Did she really remember nothing? He kneeled and stared into her eyes, searching for any remnant of the Lyra he knew. He began lightly scratching at the sensitive spot behind her ears, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Yes...yes it is you, Lyra. I could never mistake you for anyone, or anypony else. Which means...”
He collapsed against the foot of the tree with a groan, the stress of the past day catching up to him. “That bitch took your memories, didn't she? She wiped away all your recollections of us, of your friends, of the PHL...” He roared, pouring all of his rage and frustration into that one shout, before beginning to pound the ground with his fists as Lyra retreated in fear. “DAMN YOU CELESTIA! IT WASN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TAKE MY FAMILY, MY HOME, AND MY CULTURE, WAS IT?! NOW YOU HAVE TO STEAL MY FRIENDS TOO!”
Lyra edged closer. “Um…I don’t think we’ve ever been friends,” she said kindly, although Marcus detected a slight bit of hesitance in her voice. He wasn’t surprised, seeing as she had probably heard about how he had attacked Pinkamena when she began talking about being friends. His previous outburst wasn’t making him any look better, either. But his previous attitude towards her was one of happy familiarity; at least, he hoped it seemed that way. “But I’d like to be. Would…would you be willing to talk about…whatever it is?”
“Heh. Still the same Lyra...” Marcus shook his head, but reached out and scratched her head anyway. “Don't worry, once I figure out how to breach the barrier and get us back home to New York, we’ll find some way to restore your memory. Maybe Vinyl knows some kind of spell that could jog your mind, or perhaps we could just play you some Charlie Chaplin movies. You always loved those old comedies...” He gazed up at the sky, thinking about how great it would be when he went back to Earth, and restored Lyra’s memory, and-
Marcus snapped out of it when Lyra poked him with her horn. “Alright, this isn’t all coming for free. If I’m going to play along with this, then I want some answers. First of all, what’s this ‘barrier’ you’re going on about?”
“The one that surrounds Equestria...or half of Earth the last time I checked,” he grumbled. “Don’t ask me to go into an exact thaumic description of how the damn thing works; explaining trans-dimensional physics was always more Cheerilee or Doc Whooves’ domain. Anyways, it-”
“Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait, backtrack for a moment!” Lyra interrupted. Marcus stopped his explanation and looked at her, eyebrow raised. “What are you talking about?! Cheerilee and Doctor Whooves? What do Ponyville’s schoolteacher and Derpy’s husband have to do with anything? How come I’ve never heard of any barrier around Equestria? Where or what in the hay is ‘Earth’? And most importantly, why do you keep talking to me like I died or something?”
Marcus gazed at her sadly. She really didn’t remember, did she? But then again, how would you expect a living person that was told that he or she is dead to react? Now that he thought about it, it really didn’t make much sense at all, but he had a hunch on what had happened. “Because you did die. You were Lyra Heartstrings, former Equestrian ambassador to the United Kingdom, first pony to speak out against the Conversion Bureaus, heroine of the Battle of Thunderchild, founder of the Equestrian rebel group PHL, the Ponies for Human Life, and leader of the Manhattan/Manehattan Underground Railroad. After all that, how could you, ‘the pony who said ‘No!’’, not be at the top of Celestia’s hit list? When they caught you, she had you publically executed ‘to make an example of you’. Or, that’s what we all thought.” Celestia probably just glamoured another pony to look like Lyra and executed it, probably so she could either torture Lyra, corrupt her, or use her as a bargaining chip. Probably all three, in that order. Vile bitch.
He stood up and gestured towards Ponyville and what he assumed to be Canterlot with his arms. “Here, however, you’re just a memory-blanked drone, one of Celestia’s millions of pony-puppets. But back home, you’re a symbol, a legend, a heroic martyr who provides hope and inspiration to everyone who stands against Celestia’s tyranny, human and pony alike. You led the PHL for our cause, you saved thousands of human lives with your warnings and actions, you sabotaged dozens of batches of Potions so that they were ineffective, and you smuggled human artifacts and culture into Equestria to subvert Celestia’s propaganda.”
Marcus heard Lyra mutter, “I...I don't understand.”
“You came to the aid of mankind in our time of crisis, and other ponies followed. You all fought alongside us to save humanity, and to liberate both Earth and Equestria from the tyrant Sun Princess, Celestia, and her dark protégée, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Lyra, you were trying to save humanity from being ponified.”
He gazed into her wide eyes for a little while longer before rising and picking up his club. “Come on, I found a clearing nearby, and I don’t think the soldiers are too keen on searching this particular forest.”
Marcus beckoned for her to follow him, and together they trekked back to the clearing he had camped out in the previous night. Upon seeing the corpse of the dead wolf, however, Lyra let loose a terrified scream. “AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHAHHHHAHHHHHHHH!”
Marcus immediately turned towards Lyra with his club in his hand, bellowing, “WHAT IS IT?!”
Lyra gave a jump at his shout, and managed to stutter out, “T-T-TIMBERWOLF!”
Marcus looked around his surroundings, listening closely for any kind of sound, before his eyes landed on the corpse of the dead canine.
“Ah, so it’s called a timberwolf. That makes more sense.”
Lyra, visibly confused, examined the body once again. She then walked over and bopped the severed head’s nose. The head rolled an inch or so away. “How…how did this happen? Were you the one that killed it?” Lyra questioned shakily.
“Yeah. Thing tried to kill me when I was taking a piss.” Marcus answered.
Lyra briefly glanced at Marcus with fear in her eyes. Marcus noticed, and assured, “Don’t worry. I only kill things that try to harm me or anyone else I care about.”
Lyra looked away.
“Look, let’s just camp out here tonight, okay? I stayed here yesterday when I was afraid that Celestia sent her guards after me, and I haven’t been found yet. And I’ll protect you no matter what, I promise.”
Lyra was still turned away, hesitant.
“Look Lyra, what’s wrong? You can tell me, and I’ll try to fix it the best I can.”
Lyra suddenly spun around with a fire burning in her eyes. “WHAT’S WRONG IS THAT YOU KILLED AN INNOCENT PONY LAST NIGHT! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”
Marcus stepped back in shock. “Innocent? What do you mean?! Did you not hear anything I said? APPLEJACK WAS A KILLER!”
“NO SHE WASN’T!” Lyra screamed back. She turned and started walking away from Marcus, back towards Ponyville.
“Lyra! Where are you going? It’s dangerous out there!”
She stopped and looked back. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I would be much safer around somepony that murders innocent ponies.” And with that, she ran off into the distance without looking back.
Marcus slumped back down onto his knees. Lyra’s gone again…I failed her again! He tried to think about what could have caused Lyra to defend the Bitch Six. There was his theory on Celestia brainwashing her…but that wouldn’t explain the lack of newfoals, the lack of guards, and the Six’s feeble attempt at fighting. Marcus’s desperate mind begin to race to find an idea, to stop his world from crumbling.
Lyra’s gone…
Maybe a trick? But he would be dead by now. Maybe he was in an alternate universe?
Lyra’s gone…
No, that was just plain stupid. Why would the Elements of Harmony send him to an alternate dimension? They should have either been tools wielded by the Bearers or be true to their description and try to restore harmony.
LyRa’s goNe…
He didn’t seem very dead, and what good would sending him into an alternate universe be for the harmony of Earth and Equestria? Also, this land seemed much too similar to the real thing to be another dimension…
lYras Gone
Wait! This did seem quite similar to Equestria! Maybe, just maybe…
sheS gonE
Yes, it all made sense now! The Elements sent him back in time, to stop the disruption from ever happening, to prevent harmony from ever being disturbed!
goneGONEgone
Marcus’s mind latched onto this idea, and attempted to stabilize his sanity.
Yes, this must surely be it! It’s the most logical conclusion! Everything makes sense! It can’t be anything else, right? It can’t be that…Lyra hat-
YOU FAILED.
Something cracked slightly in Marcus’s mind, and he began to get back up, before he began chuckling in a slightly insane manner.
“Yes, that’s it,” Marcus whispered to himself. “They sent me back in time…to make things right…” He slowly picked himself up and faced Ponyville. “Lyra…don’t worry, I won’t fail you this time.” He started grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“I’ll kill each and every single pony who deserves death.”
“I’ll make them pay.”
Author's Note
Thank you all so much. Because of your support, this story...
Now has more likes than dislikes! IHkvbjGIKVJVkbvVIGKVIFkjcudiHKFUYlg
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The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Chapter 3: May the Dead Keep Calm and Flutter On
Marcus sat in front of a dying fire, facing Ponyville. It was getting dark. He went and grabbed a piece of wood to throw into a fire. With a haphazard throw, he lobbed it halfway onto the fire.
He then picked it back up and promptly threw it on top of a stack of dead timberwolves.
He watched with glee as orange flames began consuming the pile of splintered wood, licking at some low-lying branches of a couple of nearby trees.
Perfect.
He ran through the woods, knowing a wild forest fire would attract far more attention than a few snapped branches. He rapidly approached the border of the Everfree, making sure to slow down and move more stealthily as light began creeping through the bushes and trees. He eventually was able to make out a small wooden cabin, primarily because of the yellow glow emanating from the windows. Marcus watched as a bird flew by and into the cabin. Seconds later, a buttery pony barged out through the door and flew as fast as it could to town.
A minute later, he could hear panicked shouts of “FIRE IN THE EVERFREE!” and “WE’RE DOOMED!” Soon after, a small platoon of Solar Guards and five other ponies charged into the forest, barely missing Marcus.
He had a pretty good idea of who those five other ponies were.
Marcus crept after the small army, shadowing their footsteps. He watched with amusement as a certain pink-maned pegasus split off from the group. Probably to go watch over her poor, precious squirrels. Obviously, a few thousand rodents is much more important than a few billion sapient beings.
He climbed up a tree and began leaping from branch to branch, using dexterity developed from a few weeks of having to hunt for himself while learning to fight (or run away from) larger predators.
Not once did the battered Stetson crammed on top of his head fall off.
Marcus sensed the pegasus slowing down, and readied his weapons. Three timberwolf claws clenched between the fingers on his left fist, and his club wielded in his right. He jumped down, runes glowing on his legs as he landed with enough force to make a small crater in the hard earth. As Fluttershy whipped around, he swung up with his club, and heard a satisfying crack as the hardened timberwolf tail shattered her lower jaw. As Fluttershy fell to the ground, screaming in pain and choking on her own blood, Marcus quickly pounced on top of her.
This one would receive no taunting. She wasn’t worthy enough to be spoken to.
Marcus silenced her cries with a swift slash to the throat.
He leaped back onto the branches and bounded away. Certainly, some of those ponies would have heard her cries. They certainly would find her cold, lifeless body.
Let them.
Marcus grinned as he traversed the dense treetops. He looked down at what was carefully held in his fist. He had long since put his weapons away.
A cloudy blue eye stared straight back at him.
He eventually found a small cave. He ventured inside, and saw a lake with a smooth surface that reflected his being with mirror-like precision.
Marcus saw a beast. Unkempt hair, a straggly beard, a wild fire in his eyes. Tattered rags were his clothes, and yellowed tombstones were his teeth. He was in every way a monster, as much of a monster as they were.
But he would never be their monster.
No, they would fear him .
Author's Note
7,000 words now, yay!
The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Marcus looked around him. He had done it. He had killed Celestia.
He walked out onto the balcony. Wait, wasn’t he just in the throne room? There was no balcony there. But for some reason, that didn’t feel very important right now. He looked out, and saw masses of people standing outside, cheering him on. There was a tap on his shoulder, and Marcus spun around, coming face to face with the president.
He smiled. Shook hands with Marcus. Congratulated him.
What was the president of the United States of America doing here? In the White House?
In the White House?
Marcus wildly looked around. Everything was laid out exactly the same as it was the last time he had been here. Before the attack, of course.
He rushed outside. Looked at the civilians. They were shouting his name. Celebrating his victory. But they sounded so…robotic.
He rushed out of the room he was in, went through the hallways. Everything passed by in a blur, and he reached the exit far sooner than he expected. But there were more pressing matters at hand.
Marcus opened the doors and stepped outside. There were people everywhere, as far as he could see. Everyone had smiles on their faces, but they seemed almost forced. He pushed his way through the wall of guards that was blocking his view of the outside.
Everybody’s eyes were glazed over. They were just mindless drones, programmed to hail him, the almighty.
He pushed his way through the crowd, trying to escape the nonsense. Hands grabbed at his armor, feet trampling his royal cape. Marcus struggled wildly through the crowd, when he heard a sound he had heard but a few minutes ago.
The sound of a crown hitting the floor.
It was picked up, kissed, passed back to him by a sea of waving arms. He picked it up in shock.
It was Celestia’s tiara.
He threw it from him as far as he could, then ran blindly through the packed labyrinth of bodies, screams and gratitude alike reaching his ears. He only stopped when he ran into a tiny, fragile woman, one he should have been able to easily knock over.
Marcus stared in shock. Absolute silence filled the empty field.
She was dressed in a white shirt and a green hoodie, with amber-colored pants and a hair clip shaped like a lyre stuck in her blond hair. She just stood there, staring at him, smiling at him.
No, she wasn’t. She was just smiling. Staring past him.
Lyra.
No, Lyra.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Marcus clutched his head in agony as voices filled his mind. Some screaming, some crying, some content. But they all echoed the same damning words.
I’m so happy that now I’m a human.
How could this be? The president did this? Humanity did this, while he was gone?
The president cleared his throat behind Marcus. “As you can see, the potion has worked wonderfully. 99% of Equestria has been cleansed. Marcus could only gape in horror as he looked at his surroundings again, this time soaking in as much detail as he could.
The “White House” was but a mere mockery of the real thing. There were no historic monuments anywhere in sight.
No, there was one.
A statue of Marcus in flowing robes.
Another of him in full battle gear.
A whole garden with everything featuring his face on it.
Marcus fell to his knees. How could this be? Was this truly the future of Equestria? This was what happened when he did the Elements’ dirty work for them?
The president looked at him, concern etched on his face. Or was it amusement? “Are you alright?”
Marcus slowly got back on his feet. “Yeah, I’m…yeah, I’m fine.”
The president nodded his approval. “Good. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to Our Glorious Savior of Humanity, now would we?”
The sudden venom in his voice hit Marcus like a slap. How dare he speak to his king that way?
No. No, he wasn’t that monster. He wouldn’t be. He couldn’t be.
Upon seeing the look of displeasure on Marcus’s face, the president immediately tried for a smile, but it was so fake it seemed more like a grimace.
Studying the president’s face, Marcus noticed a small red dot on his forehead. Almost like a laser dot.
Laser dot. Laser. Laser sight .
“GET DOWN!” Marcus bellowed as he tackled the president to the ground, covering up as much of his body as possible.
The president chuckled mirthlessly. “Yes, I know, there’s a sniper drone waiting to kill me on your command, in case I show any sign of rebellion. Did you think I was that naïve? I knew from the very start you were suspicious of me, since I was one of the first ones to speak out against the Conversion Bureaus.”
“No…”
“Yes, now you see. Now you are afraid, because you know that we know. We will always defy you.” The president suddenly grabbed ahold of the back of Marcus’s belt and ripped something off.
“No…it can’t be…we…I…”
“We wanted you to stop. We can’t force anybody to do or be anything. Except maybe be a Christian.” He gave a short cough of laughter. “Man, were we corrupt back then.”
“But you…you roped the public in. They started rioting, forcing the serum you had a crack team of scientists develop into the natives’ veins. To turn them into us. The master race. The perfect race.”
“No,” Marcus whispered, almost pleading. “No, not me…not humanity…no...it was Celestia, it was Celestia the whole time! She turned humans into ponies.”
“Celestia was the figurehead of our rebellion. But I guess she can’t be anymore, now that you killed her.” The president locked eyes with Marcus. “But a life for a life is fair enough, isn’t it? Celestia killed that traitor Luna, but she died in return. Now you have to die, and me…” The president brought the object into Marcus’s view. A small silver cylinder, same as the rest on his belt, with a tiny bump of a button on the top. “Well, if you win, then I won’t have much to do, now will I?”
The president pushed the button.
A shot rang out, and Marcus felt an incredible pain rip through his abdomen as the president’s head exploded underneath him.
He staggered back up for a second, but then fell to his knees once again. He looked up at the sky, but no sun greeted him. There was only a moon. A moon with a face on it, almost like a horse’s head.
Was the face’s eye looking at him? With…pity? Sorrow? Pain? Was its mouth moving, trying to say something, to say I’m sorry, to say wake up, to say wake up , to say WAKE UP , to say WAKE UP—
Marcus awoke with a start, gasping for air as he frantically looked around him. He was still on the ground, in the cave with a lake that he found. He frowned as he remembered little snippets of his nightmare. He couldn’t help but feel like there was something important aabout the moon.
Yes! There was a moon at the end of his dream! And it was…talking to him?
Wait…horse…moon…Mare in the Moon…talking…
Princess Luna had infiltrated his mind.
“DAMN IT!” Marcus slammed a fist into the ground. Those vile sisters…
Was Luna sided with Celestia in the past? He couldn’t remember, he had seen her so long ago, and for such a short time…
But if she truly was sided against Celestia, then she wouldn’t invade the inner sanctum of his mind, now would she? She was the princess of dreams, so she obviously knew how sacred a mind was.
No, he wouldn’t let her see any more dreams. He wouldn’t let her steal this away from him.
He had enough dreams stolen the day Celestia came.
Author's Note
So, after a quick write from about 8:30 PM to 10:48 PM, this is what I have cranked out. Have fun with my depressing depression relief. You know, like stress relief, but less violent and more weird because it's depression relief.
Also, as of the release date (1/31/14), this story is EXACTLY 7,000 words long! Yay! I have no life!
The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Marcus knew it was time. Guards were beginning to venture further and further into the Everfree in a half-assed attempt at finding him. But even with his runes, at the rate they were appearing they might soon be enough to slow him down enough so that the Elements could get away.
So he had to act now.
He knew who always accompanied Flutterbitch. The blue speeder. She was extremely loyal.
Loyal enough that her Queen’s word was more important than anything else. That would have been a problem...
Except for the fact that that was in the future. Here, she would probably care more about her friends than anything else. Not even her own life.
Perfect.
Marcus slowly got up. His claws held in place by dried blood, rags, and his own flesh. His club sanded down to a rough finish and tucked under his belt. He walked over to the lake and fished out a white orb, with just a hint of blue at one side. Marcus took a few deep breaths, hooked it onto his belt, then rushed outside. He immediately headed towards town, making sure to rustle every leaf and snap every twig underfoot he could. If he was to trick Dash into revealing herself, he knew he would have to offer a target she couldn’t resist.
Marcus was brought back to reality as he heard a Captain order his men to chase after him. He quickly climbed up the strongest tree he could find.
And he waited.
And waited.
And-FUCK!
Marcus’s head snapped back as he felt himself falling off the branch he was perched on. He quickly flickered his runes, making sure the impact with the ground wouldn’t kill him, but at the same time leaving no evidence of his rune use. As he hit the ground face-down, a massive crater formed around his body. Marcus made sure to stay completely still.
“Hah! Not so tough now, are you?”
Keep on dreaming, assfuck.
“Wow, I knew you were a weakling, but really? Just one punch? But then again, it was one of my punches. Guess I did manage to beat you in ten seconds flat.”
It didn’t even hurt. The only reason it managed to knock him down was because she was travelling so fast and because he was caught off-guard.
Dash gently landed on the ground and trotted over to Marcus’s lifeless body. She was so close. Five yards...three yards...a yard...
Without warning, Marcus got on his arms and legs and pounced onto Dash. She immediately started trying to buck him off, but the fact that a heavily muscled beast twice her size was balancing on her back eventually forced her to collapse to the ground. "Let me go!" Dash grunted, struggling against Marcus's grasp.
"You know, I never really know why you bunch always scream that," he commented. "Seeing as you never showed mercy when our people cried out those same words. And I'm not just going to let you go , just like that, no questions asked." He brought a foot up to her back, and slowly got up, making sure to keep Dash pinned to the ground. He reached down and grabbed her wings. “I see you’ve gotten these fixed up quite nicely,” he growled. “Shame if I were to finish what I started. Oh wait!” He grabbed her wings and brutally ripped them off. No torture, no inevitability. He just ripped them off and tucked them in his pockets. “Now that no one’s here to help you, looks like you’re twenty percent weaker.” Marcus leaned down and whispered into her ear, “Maybe now you’ll even die in ten seconds flat...”
He grabbed his club and gave Dash a few good blows to her head. She gasped in pain after each blow as she watched specks of her blood water the wild grass around her. Noticing that Dash still wasn’t dead, Marcus removed his foot from her spine and grabbed her by her mane, pulling her head back. “Hm. You’re more resilient than I thought. No wonder we had so much trouble getting rid of you. But don’t worry, I’m here now. I’ll make sure you die. This is before you were undyingly loyal to your queen, isn’t it? Then surely you must be happy committing yourself to the greatest sacrifice you could possibly make to justice.” He ripped a chunk of her mane off and stuffed it into her mouth. “Now taste the rainbow and DIE!”
He threw her to the ground and lifted his club as far above his head as he could.
And brought it down.
On nothing.
Marcus glanced to his sides and noticed Dash to his left weakly trying to crawl away. She seemed to have used the last of her energy to roll away from his attack. He exchanged his club for the eye on his belt, walked over to her, and squatted down. “Tell you what. You eat this, and I let you live.” Marcus dangled the eye in front of Dash by its stem.
Dash’s eyes immediately widened, recognizing instantly the eye’s previous owner. She ever so slowly lifted up her head, and spit on Marcus’s foot.
His grin instantly froze. He put away the eye and whispered, “You are loyal. That is respectable. What else could you ask for from a soldier? It’s simply a shame that you were loyal to the wrong leader; blindly so.” He put his hands on either side of her head, and Dash began whimpering. “I will grant you a quick death. This is my tribute to your scrap of honor and humanity before the war.”
Marcus twisted. There was a loud thud.
He walked away.
[/hr]
After a few minutes of relative silence, a platoon of guards sudden dropped down from the trees and pointed their weapons at Marcus. A unicorn broke off from the rest of the formation and stood in front of him. “You! By Celestia’s Royal Decree, you are under arrest for battery on six civilians and the murder of three of the aforementioned civilians. Drop any weapons you have on you and do not resist the arrest, or we will use force.”
Marcus simply stood there. The leader of the guards began counting down. “You have five seconds...four seconds...three seconds-”
“Or what?” Marcus interrupted. “You’ll turn me into one of you? Go on, try.” He nodded to a purple canteen hanging off of the unicorn’s saddle pack. “I dare you.”
The unicorn blinked in surprise, then hesitantly ordered, “Detain this beast with any non-lethal means necessary!”
Marcus concentrated on his runes, causing them to flare brightly. A shower of crossbow bolts pinged off his back, and he felt a few spells splash off. He grabbed a nearby guard and used him as a shield against the charging spearponies. Unable to change their course, they skewed their comrade, spraying droplets of blood on their faces. Marcus threw the corpse to the ground and ripped a spear from the equine’s ribcage. His clawed hand automatically went for his club, and he went straight for the healer of the group. Marcus plunged the spear straight through the pony’s heart before being hit in the face with a barrage of different spells. He let go of the spear, and grabbed a fiery ball out of midair. He threw it straight back at its caster.
The unicorn mare screamed as her flesh seared under her armor and her eyes burst into flames. All of the fighting ceased as they watched the pony roll on the ground in agony, leaves and sticks adhering to the blackened remains of her hide. As the flames died out, so did the screech forcing its way through a dry, crisp throat.
Then, instead of routing, each guard simultaneously let loose a roar of anger and charged Marcus.
Picking up the mare’s casting sword, Marcus prepared to face the onslaught. He ducked and whirled, leapt and bound, catching and throwing back arcane missiles, stunning and slicing and stabbing and clawingandbashingandbitingandscreamingand-
Panting for breath, Marcus found himself in the aftermath of a massacre. Bloodied sacks of flesh were everywhere, scorch marks on every tree, heads rolling down little hills. An eerie cackling began echoing off the mounds of red armor. Marcus’s eyes darted about, trying to locate its source. It wasn’t until he suddenly had to bend over because his stomach hurt that he realized that the twisted cacophony was emerging from his mouth. He clapped a hand over his mouth, but the laughing continued. He tried to force his jaws shut, but they wouldn’t close.
Marcus heard a distant clamor from behind, and quickly deduced that they were reinforcements. He sprinted back to his cave, and sat there on the ground without moving for a few minutes.
He looked outside. The moon was shining brightly, as if it were any other peaceful camping trip he’d gone on as a kid.
Or was it a few hours? Marcus sighed, and slowly stood back up, hearing his joints crack and pop. A grinding noise alerted him to the fact that he was still clenching his fist tightly around the platoon leader’s sword. He leaned it against the wall, along with his club. It proved its worth in battle, and it would be handy to keep around. It seemed he had garnered another trophy.
Marcus then remembered the wings in his pocket. He pulled them out and softly stroked the feathers that oh so finely overlapped each other. He felt an odd source of glee from stroking them, and immediately put them away. He was killing these monstrosities to make sure they could never annihilate the human race.
He was killing them for justice against the atrocious crimes they had committed.
For humanity.
SO WHY DID HE FEEL JOY WHEN HE KILLED THEM?
He wasn’t hunting them for sport or fun. There was no reason to feel joy until the queen cocksucking whore behind everything was brutally ended.
Troubled, Marcus went to sleep. But one little seed of doubt remained.
What happens when the predator begins to enjoy the hunt?
Author's Note
Please don't sue me, Skittles. Please don't.this guy right now.
OH YEAH DON'T HATE IN THE COMMENTS WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY THIS STORY SUCKS. SAME WITH DISLIKING.
The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Chapter 6: The End (April Fool's)
Marcus skipped into Ponyville, happily repeating, "Fun!"
The citizens of Ponyville looked on in awe at the supposed Hunter of the Everfree. Was this what the Royal Guard had so much trouble hunting down? Sure, it was muscled and scarred, they thought, but it looked so...innocent. Even though there was a rumbling every time its feet touched the ground. And every time its feet didn't touch the ground.
"STAMPEDE!" A helpful citizen yelled out, and the population of Ponyville promptly followed his advice as they came outside to see what all the commotion was about: A massive mech made of giggling Marcuses that would not stop repeating "Fun!" piloted by the real Hunter of the Everfree. A game of cat-and-mouse ensued as the mech chased the herd around Ponyville, the chorus of "Fun!"s creating a catchy tune . The only rational pony left was Twilight, shaking under her covers in her bed as Spike stroked her hair and whispered "It's going to be okay, Twilight" into her ear over and over.
"P-p-princess," she managed to stutter, "we need to ask the Princess for help."
Spike immediately complied and wrote a desperate plea for help before sending it to Celestia. They had only waited but a tick before Princess Luna teleported directly on top of the Twilight-shaped mound next to Spike. ""HUZZAH," Luna bellowed, "THINE BELOVED PRINCESS HAS COME TO DELIVER HER PEOPLE UNTO VICTORY! REJOICE, AS THE FIGHT SHALL TAKE NARY BUT A BLINK OF AN EYE!"
"Um..." squeaked the crushed Twilight, "Where's Princess Celestia?"
"THOU REQUESTED A PRINCESS'S BOON, DID THOU NOT? AND ARE WE NOT PRESENT HERE BEFORE THINE VERY EYES, MAJESTIC AS A HORNED PEGASUS?" Luna bellowed.
"No offense, Luna, but no one likes you. Whenever someone says Princess, they mean Celestia. I mean, seriously. You tried to commit genocide, and now you just mooch off your sister and revel in scaring little kids. No one takes you seriously. Just make yourself useful and get Celestia over here so we can stop this hunter-what's-his-face." Twilight sighed. "And you are a horned pegasus. You can't say you're as majestic as yourself."
"BUT WE HAVE IN OUR POSSESSION A PLAN THAT CANNOT FAIL. WHY MAY WE NOT SIMPLY BANISH HIM TO THE MOON? WE NOW KNOW THE BINDING, WE ANALYZED IT THROUGHOUT OUR PROLONGED EXILE UPON THAT LUSTROUS ORB, SO IT WOULD BE NO TROUBLE TO-"
"Hush, Luna. Just get Celestia, will you? And stop crushing me, Your Royal Fatness."
"DOTH WE TRULY POSSESS SO LITTLE RESPECT AMONG OUR SUBJECTS, AND SO MUCH WEIGHT UPON OUR THIGHS?" Luna whimpered.
"Have you looked in a mirror recently?" Twilight confirmed.
"BUT...OUR SISTER SAID WE LOOK BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY WE ARE..." Luna sobbed.
"Well, that's why Celestia is so great. 'Our most exalted queen, Celestia of the Sun, is rightfully our leader because she is kind to others, no matter how overweight or unappealing to the eye they are, unless they are enemies of the state,' from 365 Reasons Why Our Most Exalted Queen is Rightfully Our Leader . I've memorized that book from how many times I've read it as a kid. That's why Celestia picked me over all those other kids that drew on their copy. I put mine on an altar and worshipped it daily." Twilight paused to roll a pony corpse off of her balcony, ignoring the screams and smoke coming from below. "So you see, Celestia is so gracious that she even forgave your treachery to the state. Of course she would spare you the knowledge of how voluptuous your thighs and buttocks have gotten." She looked up just in time to see Celestia land in front of her as Luna ran off streaming tears. "Princess Celestia, you've got to help us! Marcus is going to destroy all of Equestria at this rate! We've got to do something! What is your master plan, o radiant one?"
"Summon the Mane Six, Twilight. We have work to do," Celestia answered.
"Who?" Twilight asked, confused.
"Your friends, my most faithful execution-er, student. Student who executes orders. Very well, might I add," Celestia stammered.
"Oh, them! Will we be unleashing to full potential of the Elements of Harmony on this menace to our society that despises equality, for it is unnatural?" Twilight squeed.
"No, Twilight, the Orbital Friendship Cannon will have to wait, despite it seemingly being able to solve all of our problems. No, we shall win today through the power of non-weaponized friendship. We will ask it to please stop killing us." Celestia ordered.
Twilight protested, "Is that really the smartest thing to-"
"ARE YOU QUESTIONING YOUR MOST EXALTED QUEEN?" Celestia interrupted.
"I'll call them right now, o omniscient one." Twilight bowed before running out onto her balcony and calling her friends. Once they had all assembled on top of the library, Celestia yelled out, "HUNTER OF THE EVERFREE! COME AND MEET YOUR MAKER!"
The Marcustron "Fun!"ed and turned around, giving the pony horde a chance to escape. "CELESTIA!" Marcus shouted. "THERE YOU ARE! WITH THE SECRET OF THE MIRROR POOL NOW KNOWN TO ME, NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM SAVING THE WORLD NOW!"
"REALLY?" Celestia shouted back. "WELL WHAT ABOUT-ow, this is hell on the throat. cough drop please. thank you, twilight-FRIENDSHIP!"
"YOU REALLY THINK THAT CAN SAVE YOU NOW? I HAVE YOU BEAT, CELESTIA, AND YOU KNOW IT!" Marcus laughed.
"TELL US ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY? WE JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!" Celestia encouraged.
The Marcustron shut up for the first time in its existence. "WAIT, SO YOU'RE SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO TORTURE ME WITH YOUR MAGIC OR SOMETHING? YOU'RE JUST GOING TO STAND THERE SPOUTING RAINBOW CRAP?" Marcus questioned.
"YES," Celestia replied. "Ow."
A tumbleweed tumbled in the background as everyone present stayed silent.
Suddenly, Luna burst in in a Nightmare Moon costume she stole from Rarity. "WE HAVE COME TO-" She was rudely interrupted by the Marcustron smashing its fist onto the balcony, instantly killing everypony but Spike. Partly because he has dragon scales, partly because he needed to survive for plot reasons, and partly because he's a dragon, so "everypony" wouldn't affect him. He picked himself up from the rubble of the destroyed tree house (not treehouse, mind you) and tried to sprint up the Marcustron's arm before it retracted, but it just swatted him off with the other hand. Undeterred, he climbed up the back of the Marcustron and covered Marcus's eyes. Blinded, the Marcustron stumbled about until it tripped over the stump of the library and exploded in a brilliant explosion of Marcuses. Spike was slammed against the stump and landed next to Rarity's head. "Good enough," he shrugged, and began making out with it.
[/hr]
Marcus jolted awake with a gasp and looked around. He was fine, but he had to make sure. He sprinted out of the Mirror Pool cave and lept through the treetop until he had a good sight of Ponyville. It looked just as it had yesterday, but with the occasional cheer and faint shout of "Happy April Fool's Day!" Marcus sighed and leaned back against the trunk of the tree he was in. It was all just a dream. But that idea with the Mirror Pool...
Marcus grinned. He had work to do, plans to make, traps to set.
This was going to be the end of Celestia and her minions. The end at last to a story no man should have to endure through.
The end at last.
Author's Note
So, here we have me trying to do a comedic criticism of MLP while experimenting with 3rd-person omniscient. Hooray.
If you didn't get the equality joke, that came from the Season 5 advertisment. The one with the capitalist mono-black Mane 6 hating on the mono-white socialist society that Sparkle what's-her-face made.
Once again, not actually completed.
The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum- Tyrant's Fall
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 