Shotgun Wedding

by Titanium Dragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Granny Smith, Romance, Applejack, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 12898

Applejack and Rarity spend the night together. Applejack's family approves a bit more than either is comfortable with.

It was a wonderful morning. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Applejack was snuggling up with her. What more could Rarity want?

How about a shotgun wedding when the rest of the Apples come back early?

Published 2013-10-08 09:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-28 02:45:07 UTC

Breakfast In Bed

Rarity stirred as golden light touched her face, making her blink and slowly open her eyes. She smiled at the sight before her - golden locks flowing over her nose, reflecting the light of the sun into her eyes. Leaning forward, she gave Applejack a gentle kiss on the back of her head, breathing in the scent of her mane as she squeezed her lover with her hooves. Applejack snuggled back into Rarity's chest, pressing the top of her head up against the unicorn's jaw.

"Mornin'," she said sleepily, a smile coming to her own lips as she began to slowly roll over to return the kiss that Rarity had given her. Their eyes met, and Rarity leaned forward to give Applejack another kiss on the nose.

"Did you sleep well?" Rarity whispered, her hooves slowly traveling down her lover's back, feeling lean muscle under orange fur.

Applejack nodded. "Mmhmm." She gave Rarity another kiss, the pair using their hooves to pull themselves closer to one another, savoring the shared warmth of their bodies as they lay tangled beneath the sheets. Time passed - neither knew how long - as they lay there, simply enjoying each other's company.

It was Applejack who finally broke the silence. "I guess I should go make breakfast," she said, moving to disentangle herself from her lover before Rarity gave her a squeeze.

"You made dinner last night," Rarity said quietly, leaning forward to rub her snout against Applejack's. "I'll make breakfast, and bring it to you."

Applejack chuckled. "If you insist," she said, relaxing back into the mattress as she let her eyes rest on the beautiful unicorn.

Rarity shifted, moving slowly as to avoid accidentally kicking her bedmate before slowly sliding herself down to the floor, stretching her legs as she hobbled forward several steps, swishing her tail before walking over to Applejack's mirror. "Oh, I'm a mess," the unicorn fussed, using her magic to pull open Applejack's drawers, pulling out her marefriend's brush before Applejack's voice interrupted her.

"Aw, you don't have to do that," Applejack said from the bed, sitting up slightly. "Ain't no one here but me to see, and I'm just gonna muss it up again after breakfast. 'Sides, I kinda like it when you ain't all fancy."

Rarity's cheeks flushed at her lover's comment, but hesitated. She loved to be neat and tidy, but... after several seconds of indecision, the unicorn returned the brush to the drawer, drawing a quiet chuckle from Applejack.

"Thatta girl," she said, grinning.

Rarity smiled back over her shoulder at the reclining pony before opening the door, slowly strutting out of the room, swishing her tail as she vanished out into the hallway. Taking a deep breath, Rarity began walking downstairs - she could practically smell breakfast cooking already.

"Mornin'," Big Mac said to Rarity as she stepped into the kitchen, drawing a nod and a smile from the unicorn before she froze, her eyes wide as realization paralyzed her - she could smell breakfast cooking. Granny Smith was standing by the stove, holding a skillet in her mouth as she cooked eggs over the burner, while Apple Bloom was sitting at the table with her older brother, eagerly awaiting breakfast.

"Mornin' Rarity!" the filly chirped cheerfully, the friendly smile on her face turning to an expression of confusion. "What are you doin' here? Did Applejack have a sleepover last night?"

Rarity's mouth worked, her face crimson. "Applejack said you weren't going to be back from Appleoosa until this evening!"

"We got the cannin' done early," Granny Smith said from the stove, before grabbing a spatula and poking at the eggs. "Thought we'd give her a little surprise and make breakfast for her as a way of sayin' thanks for lookin' after the farm all by her lonesome. Guess she weren't so lonesome after all." The elderly pony winked at Rarity, making her cheeks burn all the more.

"B-b-but..."

"Now don't fret your head none. We ain't judging ya for keepin' Applejack company. But it mighta been nice for her to tell us before she got hitched."

Rarity's mouth hung open. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come.

"You should close that mouth of yours before y'all catch some flies."

Apple Bloom's squeaky voice rose. "Y'all are married?"

"No!" Rarity said, a bit more forcefully than she had intended.

"What? Y'all are sleepin' together and ya ain't even married yet? What were you young'un's thinkin'?" As Rarity opened her voice to answer, Granny Smith cut her off again. "No, I know what y'all are thinkin', but it just ain't right. Big Macintosh, you think you and your sister can get a wedding together this mornin'?"

"Eyup," the big stallion said placidly before leaning down to sip at his coffee.

Rarity was flabbergasted. "A wedding takes weeks to properly plan for! You have to send invitations! Dresses! Flowers! Rings!"

"Now don't you worry your pretty little head. Your family lives right here in Ponyville, right? We'll just have Big Mac swing by their house and pick 'em up. I'm sure we could get 'em here by this afternoon." Granny Smith paused for a moment. "As for the rest of it, I'm sure I've still got my old weddin' dress up in the attic somewhere. Apple Bloom, why don't you go see if you can find it."

"Sure thing, Granny!" the little filly said, speeding off towards the stairs as Rarity began to back out of the room.

"But my wedding is supposed to be perfect!" The unicorn wailed.

"Well it ain't our fault y'all jumped the gun. Or into bed. Or whatever it is you kids call it these days."

"Eyup," Big Mac repeated from his seat before taking another slow drink of his coffee.

Stumbling backwards into the hall, Rarity turned and galloped up the stairs, flinging herself into Applejack's room, her eyes wide.

"Did I just see Apple Bloom trot by the door?" Applejack asked the unicorn as Rarity frantically cast her eyes around the room, as if trying to look for some way to escape.

"They're back!" Rarity said in the most dramatic tone of voice she could muster, drawing a chuckle from Applejack.

"I guess they were tryin' to surprise me with breakfast in bed too."

Rarity trembled. "But you don't understand! Granny Smith wants us to get married!"

Applejack smiled. "That's right sweet of her, but I'm not sure either of us are ready for that quite yet."

"Today!"

Applejack blinked. "Come again?"

"She wants us to get married this afternoon!" Rarity swooned, but all her declaration earned from Applejack was laughter. "I don't see what's so funny about this."

"Aw, don't you worry," Applejack said, rising from her bed to walk over and nuzzle at the unicorn. "Granny Smith was just teasin'."

"Teasing?" Rarity asked, her voice trembling.

"Yup! Granny Smith has quite the sense of humor. She didn't mean it." Applejack lifted her head to give Rarity a kiss on top of her snout, bringing a small but warm smile to the unicorn's face.

"I found it!" Came Apple Bloom's voice from upstairs, followed by the sound of trotting hooves, then a crash.

"What in tarnation?" Applejack asked, before her sister leaped down the stairs from the attic carrying an old, moth-eaten dress in her mouth. Upon spying her sister, the filly dropped the dress.

"Oh hi Applejack! How do y'all like your dress?" she asked, holding it up for a moment before Granny Smith's voice came from downstairs.

"Apple Bloom?"

"Comin' Granny!" the little filly said, grasping the dress firmly in her mouth once more before trotting downstairs. Applejack and Rarity looked at each other for a moment before Applejack started walking towards the door.

"On second thought, maybe I'd better have a talk with Granny Smith."

All Dressed Up

"Now Granny, be reasonable!" Applejack's voice rose as the elderly pony tried to drape the dusty dress over her back.

"You be reasonable! Here I am, makin' sure y'all don't have a foal out of wedlock, the least you could do is be 'preciative."

Applejack rolled her eyes at Granny Smith, trying to move away without knocking her over. "We're both girls, Granny. It don't work that way."

Granny Smith looked over skeptically at Rarity, the unicorn rendered speechless by the argument unfolding in front of her - or perhaps simply the atrociously out of fashion dress that her marefriend was being forced into. "Oh ponyfeathers. Your Auntie Seed said the same thing about foolin' around with that fancy feller from Canterlot, and look at that what got her."

"Uh, Formal Attire was a stallion, Granny."

"But how can you tell with unicorns?"

"I'm pretty sure I know," Applejack said dryly, drawing a chuckle from Granny Smith.

"I guess you're right. But all the more reason you two need to get hitched! You shouldn't be so sure if y'all weren't doin' somethin' you weren't supposed to be doin'."

Applejack's cheeks flushed as she stomped her hoof. "That ain't what I meant, Granny!"

"Then why is your fancy friend's mane all mussed up? I ain't never seen her lookin' like that before. I 'spect y'all musta had a mighty fine time to get yer manes all tangled up like that."

Rarity squeaked at that, using her magic to grasp her purple locks and try to bring them into a semblance of order, while Applejack laid her ears back, still blushing. "You're embarrassin' Rarity, Granny."

"Oh don't be silly, I'm embarassin' you," Granny Smith said, chuckling to herself. "At least y'all don't have straw stuck in your hair. That's the trouble with sneakin' off to the barn and forgettin' to bring a brush. I remember back when I was a filly..."

"I'll just go find pa's suit, then," Big Mac declared, the large stallion moving away from the table and slowly walking upstairs as Granny Smith continued her story. Applejack lowered her hat over her eyes, as if that could prevent her from hearing the older pony's story, while Rarity tried to distract herself from the story by fiddling with her hair with her magic without success.

"I need a brush!" Rarity declared, turning to leave before Granny Smith's voice cut her off.

"Oh no you don't! Big Mac! Grab Miss Rarity a brush while you're up there!"

"Eyup," came the faint voice from upstairs.

Granny Smith opened her mouth to start her story again, then paused. "Now where was I?"

"Uh... you were talkin' about..." Rarity knew the face that Applejack was making; this could only end in disaster if the earth pony kept talking.

"We were just talking about how wonderful the breakfast you were making smelled, and thinking it would be nice to eat before it got cold," Rarity cut in smoothly.

"We were?" Granny Smith blinked, then looked over to the stove. "I s'pose so. Easy to get distracted, what with the weddin' and all." She looked over at the pair of ponies. "Come on you two, get eatin'. Y'all got a long day ahead of ya."

Rarity and Applejack trotted over to the table as Granny Smith laid out the eggs and toast onto plates, carrying them over and setting them out on the table for them before she served herself. The unicorn smiled graciously as she used her magic to lift the toast and begin nibbling at it delicately, politely ignoring the way that the earth ponies were forced to eat without access to telekinesis.

"I found it," Big Mac said muffledly as he carried in a suit.

Rarity looked over at it and shook her head; while the suit was still in good condition - much better than the ratty dress Applejack was currently wearing - it did seem rather dusty. However, more to the point... "I'm afraid that suit may be a bit too small for you, dear."

"T'ain't for me," Big Mac said, setting it down on the counter.

"That's right. It's for you."

"What?" Rarity rounded on Granny Smith. "What do you mean, it's for me?"

"Just exactly what I said, young'un. Y'all are the groom, and besides, my dress wouldn't fit you proper."

"But I'm a lady!"

"Fingle fangle! If you were a lady y'all wouldn't be in this mess."

Rarity spoke firmly. "Granny Smith, I appreciate your hospitality and your... eagerness for me to join your family, but I am afraid that it is simply impossible for Applejack and I to get married this afternoon."

"What's that you say? You're sayin' you're gonna leave Applejack all alone and brokenhearted after takin' what you wanted?"

Rarity laid her ears back. "And what are you implying? Now listen here, you—"

"Hold your horses!" Applejack cut in. "Simmer down." She gestured with her hooves at Rarity, the unicorn pausing for a moment before leaning back. "What Rarity's tryin' to say is that we ain't ready to get hitched yet. We've barely been seein' each other for two weeks. I think she's a wonderful pony, but that don't mean we want to be together forever."

"Still testin' her out huh?" Granny Smith gave Applejack a broad wink. "I see what you're gettin' at there, missy. And here I thought she was the one corruptin' my little Apple." Granny Smith leaned around the table to prod Applejack in the shoulder with her hoof. "Don't think you can get out of your responsibilities neither!"

"Granny..."

"Now, where's your little sister? Apple Bloom! I need you to help me get this suit on your sister's wife!" Granny Smith paused, then called again. "Apple Bloom?" Another pause only silence answered. "Now where did that little filly get herself off to?"

***

Apple Bloom galloped into the clubhouse. "Girls!"

"Apple Bloom?" the pair chorused.

"Weren't you supposed to be back tomorrow?" Sweetie Belle tilted her head.

"We got back early. Ya see, Braeburn met this real nice- wait, that's not the point." Apple Bloom shook her head before pounding her hoof on the floor.

"What is it?" Scootaloo asked.

"Applejack is gonna get married!"

The fillies gasped in unison. "What?"

"When?"

"Who is she getting married to?"

"Your sister!" Apple Bloom declared triumphantly.

"What?" Sweetie Belle squeaked. "Rarity?"

"Yup!" Apple Bloom grinned. "They were putting on dresses and everything! Well, Applejack was; I think Rarity is gonna be wearin' my dad's suit."

"Rarity is going to be wearing a suit?" Sweetie Belle sounded skeptical.

"Well, my brother was lookin' for it when I snuck off. I just couldn't wait another minute to tell you girls!"

"Isn't this a little weird?" Scootaloo asked. "I mean, I hang out with Rainbow Dash like, all the time now. Well, a lot."

The others looked at her, making Scootaloo spread her wings defensively. "I mean, she's been super busy lately with Wonderbolts training and the whole Twilight becoming a princess thing, but we still hang out sometimes."

The other fillies kept looking at her expectantly, making the pegasus shift uncomfortably before speaking up a bit too loudly. "Anyway, she never told me anything about them getting married."

Apple Bloom shook her head. "I didn't know, either. I just found out this mornin' when we got back. I guess they were havin' a sleepover, and Rarity's mane was all messed up, and Granny Smith said they had to get married now!"

"I guess that makes sense," Sweetie Belle mused, putting a hoof up under her chin. "I did see them kissing last week."

Apple Bloom blinked. "You saw them kissing and you didn't tell us?"

"Well, yeah. Rarity said they were just practicing, but them getting married makes loads more sense!"

"You know what this means?" Apple Bloom said, putting her hooves on Sweetie Belle's.

"...We're going to be flower girls?" Sweetie Belle replied quizzically.

"We're gonna be sisters!" Apple Bloom began dancing with Sweetie Belle, who grinned and joined in.

"That's right," Sweetie Belle said. "Once two ponies are married, their sisters become sisters too!"

Scootaloo's ears dropped. "Oh, right, that." She looked away from the jubilant pair.

"Don't worry Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said, letting go of the unicorn. "We'll still be best friends!"

"And besides, they're going to need a lot of help for the wedding." Sweetie Belle chimed in. "I'm sure my sister would let you help."

"That's right! Maybe we could get our cutie marks being wedding planners!" Scootaloo perked up at the prospect.

"Of course! I hadn't even thought about that!" Apple Bloom grinned.

"When is the wedding, anyway?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"This afternoon!"

"What?"

"Y'all are gettin' really good at sayin' that together," Apple Bloom said, smiling.

"Thanks! We've been practicing," Scootaloo said proudly, puffing out her chest.

"We'd better hurry then!" Sweetie Belle said, galloping out of the clubhouse, her friends close on her heels.

"Wait!" called Scootaloo. "Do we know anything about planning a wedding?" The three crusaders slowed down.

"We were in a weddin'," Apple Bloom pointed out. "Does that count?"

"Yeah, but we didn't have to plan anything," Scootaloo protested.

"You remember the wedding though, right?" Sweetie Belle said.

Apple Bloom nodded her head. "It can't be too hard! There was cake!"

"And dancing," Scootaloo put in.

"Flowers!" Sweetie Belle provided.

"Dresses!" Scootaloo added.

"Love!" Sweetie Belle posed dramatically.

"Kiss—" Scootaloo stopped, scrunching up her nose. "W-wait, that stuff's not cool!"

"Oh come on! I thought you liked being a flower girl!" Sweetie Belle protested.

"N-no!"

"I dunno. You seemed awful happy to me," Apple Bloom said dubiously.

"Yeah, you looked real nice in that dress Rarity made. You even asked her if you could keep it!"

Scootaloo's cheeks flushed. "I was just there to watch Rainbow Dash do her sweet moves!" The other two fillies grinned at Scootaloo predatorily before Sweetie Belle suddenly lit up.

"Hey, I know! Maybe you could be in charge of entertainment!"

"That's right! I'm sure you could get Rainbow Dash to do some tricks for the weddin'."

"Besides, don't you remember what happened afterwards?"

Scootaloo smiled slowly. "Yeah, that's true! I mean, the wedding was totally lame, except for the part with Rainbow Dash, but after that it was basically like one big party!"

"You're right! And we've had plenty of parties!" Apple Bloom said triumphantly.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Wedding Party Planners!" the trio shouted, grinning as they posed.

"Did somepony say party?" A large pink pony sprung out of the bushes, landing in front of the trio of fillies, a wide grin on her face. The three fillies blinked as they looked up at her, unused to the sight of the strange pony so near their clubhouse.

"Pinkie Pie?"

The Wedding Planners

"How'd you find us all the way out here?" Apple Bloom asked as Pinkie Pie bounced up and down in place.

"Well, my right front hoof was achey this morning, which means there was a party I didn't know about! So I asked everypony in town if there was a party that I had forgotten about or if somepony new had moved to town, but no one knew anything! But Rarity wasn't home, so I thought about where I might find her, and then I started shaking! It was a real doozy! So I thought about something I would never expect, and I realized she must be with Applejack, so I was heading to Sweet Apple Acres. But then I heard you talking about a party and now I know you were the ones keeping it secret!" The energetic pink pony was springing up and down in place, grinning broadly.

The three crusaders stared at Pinkie Pie for a few moments, before Apple Bloom spoke up. "Well that makes sense!"

"It does?" Scootaloo asked skeptically.

"So what's the party?"

"My sister is getting married!" Sweetie Belle said, making Pinkie Pie's eyes widen, before she began to shake uncontrollably.

"Applejack and Rarity are getting married?" she asked, her voice oscillating as her hooves erratically clattered against the ground.

"Yup! You okay, Pinkie Pie?" Apple Bloom took a step forward. The fillies stared at the vibrating pink pony, watching her erratic movements before they suddenly stopped.

"Okay? Okay?" Pinkie Pie's voice rose into a shriek, before she looked down at herself. "Yep, I'm okay." She grinned as she started bouncing up and down again in a more usual manner. "That sure was a doozy though! I haven't felt one that big since this morning! And I never would have expected that Rarity and Applejack were getting married!"

The fillies blinked. "Wait, you do that all the time?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Nope! Just today."

The three fillies exchanged glances as the pink pony began to prattle on.

"Oh! But if they're getting married I'll have to throw them a party! So the party I didn't know about was my party! That has never happened before!" She sat down after a spring. "Ooh, I haven't thrown an engagement party for two friends before! Usually there's at least one pony there I haven't met! I'll have to make a lot of cupcakes, and blue frosting, and-"

"You're gonna do all that before the weddin'?"

"Of course! What kind of friend wouldn't throw her bestest best friends in the whole wide world an engagement party?"

"Aw. We were hoping you would help us with the wedding," Sweetie Belle said.

"Oh, I'll help with that too! A wedding is just a really big party, after all, with dancing and music and cake and presents and rings and invitations and..."

The fillies' eyes grew wider as the list grew longer. "We gotta get all that together by this afternoon?" Apple Bloom eventually asked, cutting off Pinkie Pie halfway through the utensils.

"Oh no, silly! A wedding takes weeks to prepare. Why, it usually takes a whole day just to make a wedding cake! And that's not including all the other cakes they might need."

"Uhhhh..." the three fillies said.

"What is it?"

"The wedding is this afternoon," Apple Bloom admitted.

"This afternoon? As in, this afternoon this afternoon?"

"Yup!" Sweetie Belle said.

Pinkie Pie's eyes bulged. "No! That can't be right! Why didn't they tell me! Don't they know I only have enough blue and orange streamers for an engagement party?"

"I don't think they knew before this mornin'," Apple Bloom admitted. "Rarity seemed a mite bit surprised when Granny Smith told 'em they were gettin' married this mornin'."

"Ohhhhhh, I see now. It's a shotgun wedding. I understand." Pinkie Pie smiled, then paused, her tone of voice rapidly shifting. "No, no, no! This changes everything! I'll have to find shotguns! And what if it is a boy? I'll already be using all the blue streamers for Rarity, I won't have any left for him!"

The fillies exchanged glances. "Uh, what are you talkin' about?"

"Apple Bloom, does your family have any shotguns?" Pinkie Pie asked, grabbing and shaking the hapless filly.

"I don't think so," she said dubiously.

"Ohhhh, where will I find one? I don't think anypony has one. Maybe Rainbow Dash would know." Pinkie Pie looked pensive, before blinking. "Wait, has anypony sent out invitations yet?"

The trio of fillies shook their heads.

"Then there's no time to lose! Scootaloo, can you go find Rainbow Dash and ask her if she knows where I could find a shotgun? No, make that TWO shotguns. Oh, and tell her that she's invited to the wedding, but her invitation might be a teensy tiny bit late. Apple Bloom, I need you to go to Rose and tell her that Rarity and Applejack are getting married. We need every red rose, blue violet, yellow daisy, celandine, and buttercup she's got. But not one marigold! Not. One!" Pinkie Pie held up a hoof, shaking it in front of Apple Bloom's face threateningly.

"What do I do?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I need you to help me with the invitations! We have five hundred to prepare and only," Pinkie Pie looked up at the sun, "five hours to do it! Plus you know where Rarity keeps the gold thread."

Sweetie Belle blinked. "Gold? But Rarity told me not to touch it!"

"Which means you know where it is. Sheesh, keep up will you? Don't worry, I'll touch it instead."

"I dunno..."

Pinkie Pie threw herself on the ground to latch onto Sweetie Belle's legs. "Please?"

Sweetie Belle smiled. "Okay!"

***

Rarity never thought it would end this way. In the full bloom of her youth, trapped between an unstoppable force and an immovable object. She could feel the life being squeezed out of her with every second that went by. And worst of all, the suit itched.

"And this is my cousin, Orange Julius, and his wife Juniper. They lived all the way down in Hayseed. But when they had the big freeze, all their orange trees withered up and died! Things were mighty tough, what with settin' up the farm and not havin' any sales yet, but we Apples stick together; when they showed up without a bit to their names, we couldn't help but let them stay. The house weren't so big back then, though, so they had to stay in the barn. Good thing, too; lil' Valencia came not ten months after they moved in, and the walls in this place ain't so thick."

Rarity shifted uncomfortably, scratching at her suit. She couldn't move much more than that, crammed on the couch as she was; Granny Smith was holding one end of the photo album, while Big Mac helpfully held the other from the far side of Applejack, who looked about as uncomfortable as Rarity was in her motheaten dress. While she certainly didn't mind being snuggled up with Applejack, somehow this lacked the intimacy of the previous evening. The old pony flipped the page in the book.

"Ah, I remember this like it was yesterday. Me and my Skeeter."

"Skeeter?" Rarity repeated dubiously, looking down at the yellowed picture. "Oh my, is that your husband?"

"Sure is. He was the finest stallion I ever done laid eyes on. Might not look like it, but he was mighty strong for his size, too. Spect Applejack got that from his side of the family. Looks too, I reckon." Granny Smith nudged her granddaughter, who smiled weakly.

"He was very handsome."

"He was! Right up until he fell out of the hayloft on his face, anyhow. Turns out bein' called Skeeter don't make you any better at flyin'. Didn't matter to me none, though."

"I... see," Rarity said slowly. "I must admit, Skeeter is a very unusual name. How did he come by it?"

"T'weren't the name he was born with. I reckon he got the name when he first started courtin' me. He was quite the biter. I thought Applejack might take after him, the way she grabbed the tail of that colorful friend o' yours, but I guess it didn't work out."

"For the last time, Granny, Rainbow Dash is just a friend, and always has been. She doesn't even like mares!" Applejack waved her hooves for emphasis.

"Oh, that's what they all say. But I suppose we shouldn't be talkin' about things like that in front of your bride-to-be."

Rarity spoke up. "I do hate to be a bore and go on about this, but I do want to ask - and in no way, am I saying I am pleased with this arrangement - why, if I am a bride, I am wearing a suit. Shouldn't I be wearing a dress as well?"

"Don't got another dress that's fit to be married in, leastways not 'less you can grow a foot by two," Granny Smith said, grinning.

"Well, if you just let me get back to my shop, I am sure-"

Granny Smith cackled. "You just wanna run. Don't worry, it's just the jitters. My son had the same when he was gettin' married."

"Dad was scared?"

"Sure was! Practically had to drag him to the barn. But once he was there, wasn't a place in the world he'd rather be." The old pony chuckled as she paged through the photo album, flipping past several pages of yellowing photos before holding it open, pointing her hoof at the page.

Rarity blinked at the page. "I never realized your mother was quite so... sturdy."

"Sure was! She was built like an oak tree. Bout as heavy as one too," the old pony chuckled. "She was a mighty fine mare, though."

"Mom really was somethin' else," Applejack said wistfully.

Rarity sighed. It was easy to forget that the stubborn mare had had such a tough life. Shifting uncomfortably between Granny Smith and her marefriend, Rarity managed to put her hooves around Applejack's shoulders, drawing a smile from the farmer as she leaned over to give her a light kiss on the nose.

"Course, after the weddin' was over, Red started gettin' antsy again. He weren't like you kids, he waited 'til after he was married before spendin' the night with her; he was awful nervous. Somethin' about her weighin' a hundred pounds more than he did."

And the moment was lost. "I know your heart is set on this, but don't you think this is all rather sudden? All of these moments were true love. Shouldn't we wait to be sure before jumping into things?" Rarity's voice carried a hint of hope in it.

"You sayin' you don't love Applejack?" Granny Smith gave Rarity a searching look.

"N-no!"

"Then what's the problem? If ya love her, can't be no problem in marryin' her."

"Granny, I think what she means is, it's awful sudden. I love her to bits, but I'm not sure if it's the marryin' kind of love just yet."

"Oh, it's definitely the marrying kind of love, if the way y'all look at each other is anythin' to go by."

The pair ducked their heads.

"Plus if y'all had as good a time last night as I think you did, she's definitely a keeper."

Applejack's cheeks were crimson, and Rarity could feel her own face burning. "I keep tryin' to tell you, it ain't like that!"

"And I keep tryin' to tell you, you ain't a very good liar. This ain't my first rodeo." The old mare cackled before rising from the couch. "I gotta stretch my legs. Not the same as they used to be." As she stepped across the floor, her joints popped. "And I just remembered where I put your parents' marriage album. I'll be back in a jiffy."

As Granny Smith vanished from the room, the pair of lovers relaxed, slumping on the couch. Stretching her legs, Rarity looked over at Big Macintosh and noticed for the first time a smirk tugging at the big stallion's lips.

"I don't see what's so funny," Rarity huffed, taking a few steps around the coffee table.

"Nothin'," the big stallion said blandly, drawing an irritated sigh from Applejack.

"I ain't seein' you be much of a help here," she groused at her brother, glaring at him.

"Nope."

"You should be ashamed, lettin' her get all worked up like this! We ain't gettin' married, Big Mac, leastways not today."

"I reckon I know that," the stallion drawled.

"You goin' to tell her that?"

Big Mac shrugged. "Nope."

Rarity frowned. "You don't think we should get married, do you?"

The stallion shook his head. "Nope."

"Then why ever don't you say so?"

"Cause he thinks it's funny," Applejack groused. "He's bein' mighty helpful to her, even after Apple Bloom ran off."

Big Mac leaned back into the couch, smiling. "Eyup."

"You wouldn't think it was so funny if she was doin' it to you." Applejack crossed her hooves.

"Nope."

Applejack narrowed her eyes at that; apparently she had caught something in his laconic response that Rarity had missed.

"She do somethin' like this to you, too?"

***

"Now Granny," Big McIntosh said, nervously backing up. "It ain't like that."

"I reckon it's 'xactly like that. It's Hearts and Hooves day, you ain't been around all day, and now I find your sister and her friends doin' your chores for you while you try and sneak off with Miss Cheerilee."

Big Mac's ears fell back against his head as the pink pony beside him spoke up. "Granny Smith, I understand your concern, but we were simply teasing the girls. They—"

"I know what they did! I heard from the Cakes that they was helpin' y'all get ready to get hitched earlier today. How could you not tell your Granny, Big Mac?"

The stallion shook his head in denial. "We ain't gettin' married."

"Changed your mind, did you? Or did you think y'all would sneak off and spend some time alone and skip the weddin' part? Every Apple has had a family, and I ain't gonna let you be the first one to break that tradition." Granny Smith's voice was stern as she scolded her grandson, the large stallion quailing before her.

"Granny Smith, this is all just a misunderstanding," Cherilee began, before the older pony cut in.

"And you!" Granny Smith pointed her hoof at the pink pony, ignoring her protest. "What kind of example are you settin' for those little fillies, sneakin' off with some handsome stallion' ya ain't married to?"

"Am I not being clear? I am not dating your grandson."

"And what's that supposed to mean? He's good enough to sneak off with, but not for lovin'?" Granny Smith advanced menacingly.

The mare blinked. "That wasn't what I meant. I—" Cheerilee began, before she found herself nose-to-nose with the Apple family's matron.

"Fiddlesticks! You ain't eatin' supper before you say grace, not in this house you ain't! " Granny Smith hmphed. "It's a good thing I caught y'all before y'all did somethin' y'all might regret."

"But Granny—"

"Don't 'But Granny' me ya big galoot!" She represented her grandson. "I ain't listen' to any more of y'alls lies. The Cakes were real nice about it, but the way they were talkin' about y'all carryin' on, y'all sounded like you was gettin' mighty 'fectionate in their shop. And here y'all are denyin' it to my face. Well I won't have it!" Granny Smith stomped her hoof. "If y'all are gettin' married, your family is standin' by you for it. It's time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope."

Cheerilee stared at Granny Smith, and even Big Mac looked confused.

"I mean it's time to stop fussin and just do right by each other. If y'all are so anxious to get to it, there ain't much time to be fancy. Lucky for you your ma and pa kept their weddin' outfits." The older pony turned around and began walking away. "I'll be back before you can say apple pie. Y'all behave now, you hear?"

Big Mac bowed his head to his grandmother while Cheerilee just stood there staring long after Granny Smith had disappeared.

"I'm real sorry 'bout all this," Big Mac said to his companion, who laughed nervously.

"No reason to be sorry! It's just a little misunderstanding, that's all. I'll let you two sort it out." Cheerilee wheeled around, turning towards the door and tried to push it open; the door rattled in its frame. Her eyes flicked around for the lock, before finally noticing the latch and awkwardly trying to nose it open with her snout. After watching her struggle for a few seconds, Big Mac stepped forward to help.

"Here, let me get that for you," he said, the big pony leaning past the smaller one, his snout bumping against Cheerilee's before making it to the latch. Gripping it in his teeth, he jimmied it from side to side before finally sliding it open and lowering his head. "There ya go," he said, moments before Granny Smith's voice came from behind.

"I thought I told y'all to behave while I was gone," she said, drawing a blush from the pair who had crowded together in front of the door; the two ponies stepped a pace apart as Granny Smith chuckled. "Naw, it's alright. I know y'all love each other, it's fine to show some 'fection."

Turning around to face his grandmother, Big Mac could see the older pony had brought down his mother's dress and his father's old suit. The big stallion sighed and shook his head. "Granny, I don't know how you 'spect to fit me in Pa's old suit."

The old pony cackled. "Who said the suit was for you?" Granny Smith grinned before turning towards his mother's voluminous dress, grasping it in her mouth. Big Mac gulped as she started to advance on the big stallion with a gleam in her eye.

***

"Nnnope."

Applejack sighed at her brother's response, slumping back onto the couch and pushing her hat down over her eyes.

"Maybe I should simply leave?" Rarity suggested.

"You don't know Granny too well. Once she's got an idea in her head, she'll latch onto you tighter than bark on a tree. She ain't gonna just let you go, and if you try and sneak off, she'll just catch ya." Applejack pushed her hat back, shaking her head.

"So what do we do then? We can't get married!"

"You don't think I don't know that?" Applejack lowered her voice. "Sorry. I know this's got to be tough on you, too."

Rarity sniffed. "Well, things could certainly be better. That dress you're wearing is simply atrocious. I know that the Apples were certainly 'roughing it' when they founded Ponyville, but a wedding dress is supposed to be special. Getting married in something like that is practically criminal!" Rarity shook her head. "The seams are all wrong; you can see that the stitches aren't straight, and the fabric isn't even around your barrel." Rarity reached over to run her hoof over the offending fabric. "And that is to say nothing about the color! It is fortunate those old cameras only saw the world in gray, or else you might think a vegetable garden was getting married. I am surprised the moths even bothered to dine on that dress; I would have thought they had better taste."

"Uh, you do know Granny Smith had to hoof-stitch this dress together herself, right?"

Rarity swallowed, shifting uncomfortably as she showed her teeth in a terrible imitation of a smile. "Well, I'm sure the colors weren't so bad. Perhaps they've just... changed over the years. Yes, that's it." Rarity nodded her head. "Some dyes do age poorly, after all, and it is not as if she had much choice in the matter all the way out here, the old dear."

"I take it you don't like the suit much, either," Applejack said blandly.

"Oh, the suit is fine, though it is more the sort of thing one would wear to a funeral than a wedding." The unicorn shifted again, scratching at herself with her hoof. "Though I am afraid the mothballs do not agree with me."

Applejack's mouth twitched. "Well, at least its in one piece."

Rarity smiled. "Yes, well, I am certain that the moths were not thinking of comfort when they made sure that dress would be well ventilated."

The pair leaned back into the couch, sharing a moment of comfortable silence. "I must admit, despite all this, I am rather relieved of Granny Smith being so accepting of... us."

"A bit too acceptin' if you ask me," Applejack groused, earning a giggle from Rarity as she moved over to give her marefriend a hug.

"Quite," Rarity said, her smile fading into a frown once more. "But she doesn't seem to be willing to take no for an answer."

"Well, she can't exactly marry us by herself. I reckon the way she's been runnin' around, she'll probably tire herself out and have to take a nap in an hour or so. I 'spect by the time she's woken up, she'll have plumb forgotten about this whole mess."

"A whole hour?" Rarity pouted.

"'Fraid so, 'less you have a better idea. Least this way you get to know all about my family up front. Not exactly how I would have planned things, mind, but you were gonna have to hear 'bout it sooner or later."

Rarity smiled and leaned over to nuzzle into Applejack's jaw. "I suppose so. Your family certainly has some... interesting history."

Applejack laughed. "That we do. I 'spect we're not short in that department, at least."

"Well, I suppose I can stand it. Though I would like to get out of this ghasty suit. It itches."

"Maybe I can help," Applejack said, leaning over to start pawing at Rarity with her hooves.

"I'm here, you know" Big Mac said stoically from the far end of the couch, making Applejack blush.

"I didn't mean it like that!" she said crossly.

"Oh, and I so was looking forward to it, too," Rarity said flirtatiously, before leaning up to give Applejack a peck on the nose, making her face flush all the more.

"Gettin' comfy over there?" Granny Smith said as she dropped a large, dusty album onto the table. "Can't leave you two alone for a minute, can I?"

"I guess not," Applejack said, grinning.

The warmth of contact fled from the unicorn as her marefriend leaned away to sit properly. As Granny Smith nosed open the photo album, Rarity sighed and leaned forward. It wouldn't be so bad; another hour of this and she would be free to put this whole awful business behind her.

Formal Invitations

Scootaloo was puffing heavily by the time she finally pulled up underneath the cloud on her scooter. "Hey, Rainbow Dash!"

The rainbow colored tail that the filly had spied twitched before disappearing, soon replaced by a blue head on the opposite side of the cloud looking down at her. "Heya Squirt! What's up?"

Scootaloo smiled; it was so awesome that Rainbow Dash would just TALK to her! Her wings buzzed behind her as she shook with glee before exhaling. Right, just play it cool. "Hey! I was just wondering if you had a shotgun, that's all."

"A shotgun huh?" Rainbow Dash grinned, before hopping off her cloud and landing next to her. "Those are pretty dangerous. What do you need a shotgun for?"

"Oh, it isn't for me; Pinkie Pie asked me to get it. I don't even know what it is."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Ask anyone else yet?"

"Yeah. Apple Bloom said her family doesn't have one," Scootaloo said, sitting back.

The pegasus laughed again. "Apple Bloom? Does Pinkie Pie have all of you out looking for stuff? What else are you looking for?" Rainbow Dash snickered

"Uh, let's see... she went with Sweetie Belle to get some stuff for the invitations, and she had Apple Bloom go get some roses from Rose."

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Blue roses, right?" She laughed. "So what do you need all this stuff for anyway?"

"A wedding!" Scootaloo said, smiling.

"Wait, Pinkie Pie sent you to get a shotgun for a wedding? What kind of wedding is this?"

"A shotgun wedding!"

Rainbow Dash blinked and shook her head. "Must be an earth pony thing. So who's getting 'married'?"

"Applejack and Rarity!"

Rainbow Dash's legs gave out as she fell down onto the ground, unable to hold herself up anymore under her gale of laughter.

"Are you okay?" Scootaloo asked, tilting her head.

"Sure, kid," Rainbow Dash finally managed, her shaking slowly subsiding.

"So.... do you have one?"

Rainbow Dash smiled slyly. "Maybe."

Scootaloo pouted.

"Well, I can't just give you one for free. I need a few things."

"Sure, Rainbow Dash! Anything!" Scootaloo could barely contain her excitement. I get to help Rainbow Dash?

The pegasus smirked. "Alright, so my cloud house has been kind of solid lately; I could really use a bucket of holes to help soften it up."

"A bucket of holes?" Scootaloo tilted her head.

"Yeah. You think you can do that for me kid?"

Scootaloo opened her mouth, hesitating, before nodding her head. "Sure!"

"Plus, I could really use some wing wash."

"Wing wash?" Scootaloo blinked. "Okay." She began to turn her scooter around, her wings buzzing as she prepared to leave.

"Hey wait! I'm not finished yet," Rainbow Dash said as she put her hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder, making the filly shiver.

"Oh? What else do you need?"

"Well, seeing as you're going into town anyway," Rainbow Dash snickered, then shook her head. "I need some dehydrated water too. Never can have enough rain you know."

Scootaloo laughed as well, lifting a hoof in a salute. "Don't worry, I'm on the job!" She said, grinning at the older pegasus before turning around and zooming off on her scooter.

Dehydrated water? What does she think I am, a foal? Once I get the wing wash and the bucket of holes, I'm totally going to call her on trying to pull one over on me.

***

"So why do we have to wear these?" Sweetie Belle asked, skeptically poking at the dark, skin-tight fabric covering her leg.

"Because we're sneaking into Rarity's shop, silly!" Pinkie Pie pronged merrily down the main street of Ponyville, the ordinarily pink pony almost completely covered in a pitch black catsuit.

"Wouldn't we get less attention if we weren't wearing spy suits?" Sweetie Belle asked, drawing a giggle from Pinkie Pie.

"But then no one would know we're sneaking in!"

Sweetie Belle rubbed her mane through her suit. "Isn't that the point?"

"Oh no! See, spies disguise themselves as other ponies, so no one thinks they're a spy! So if you dress up like a spy, no one thinks you're a spy, because spies don't dress up like this, silly!"

The filly winced as she thought it through. "Ugh."

"Don't worry," Pinkie Pie said, before waving cheerfully. "Hi, Mayor Mare!"

"Hello, Pinkie," the mayor said, eying her for a moment before shrugging and continuing on.

"See?"

Sweetie Belle threw her hoof over her face. "Let's just get inside."

"Okay! Do you have a key?"

The filly shook her head. "No, but I know where Rarity keeps hers."

"Over the door, right?"

Sweetie Belle blinked. "That's right, how did you know?"

"In case I had to throw her a party, of course!"

"Right." She looked up at the canopy. Closing her eyes, she concentrated for a few seconds, trying to draw the power from deep inside, her horn beginning to glow before it sputtered, blue sparks raining down around her face. Sweetie Belle sighed. "Can you give me a boost?"

"Okay dokay!" Pinkie Pie said, lowering her head below the filly before flicking her upwards, forcing Sweetie Belle to scramble to cling to the canopy for several seconds before she managed to clamber up on top.

"The key isn't where Rarity usually hides it!" Sweetie Belle pouted, stomping her hoof on top of the canopy.

"Oh, that's alright, I know how to get in anyway," Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

"You do? How?" Sweetie Belle hopped down onto the grass, oofing a bit from the impact.

"Of course I do! How else would I throw surprise parties and welcome home parties and parties for ponies who are feeling sad and grumpy and who lock themselves in their home all day?" Pinkie Pie reached back with a hoof to rustle around briefly in her mane before producing a couple long, thin pieces of metal. "Aha!" she said, before putting them her mouth and leaning forward, sticking their tips into the lock on the door.

"What's that?" Sweetie Belle asked curiously, tilting her head as she trotted up beside Pinkie Pie, watching her work. The pink pony seemed to be concentrating intently on her work, her tongue twisting one piece of metal, her teeth tightening and loosening their grip on the other by turns before finally she turned her head to the side and the door unlocked with a quiet click. "Wow! How'd you do that?"

Pinkie Pie grinned as she retrieved the thin pieces of metal from the lock and returned them to her mane. "Lockpicks! They're like keys, but instead of fitting one door, they fit every door!"

"Wooow! Can I get some?"

"Maybe! You'd have to ask Mister Tumbler if he can make you a set. They're kind of tricky to use, too; it took a loooot of practice to get it right."

"Will you teach me?"

"Sure!" Pinkie Pie smiled cheerfully as she pushed the door open. "But I'm kinda busy today. How about next Tuesday?"

Sweetie Belle smiled gleefully as she followed the older mare into the shop, only to be stopped short by Pinkie's hoof.

"Shh!" Pinkie Pie hissed, before creeping forward.

Sweetie Belle looked around the darkened interior of the shop, confused. "Why are we being quiet?"

"Because we're sneaking around, silly!"

"But... you said hello to Mayor Mare."

"That was outside, silly! We're inside now. What if the guards find us? We'd be in biiiiig trouble!"

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "But Rarity doesn't HAVE any guards."

Pinkie Pie tapped her chin before shrugging and continuing to creep across the room. "Now, what do we need..."

"Uhm, paper?"

"Of course! I bet Rarity has lots of fancy paper for all of her invitations to her fashion shows!" Pinkie Pie bounced, all pretense of stealth abruptly forgotten. "And it would look great with gold writing! Where does she keep it?"

"Uh... I think she keeps them in her inspiration room." Sweetie Belle headed towards the stairs in the back of the shop, Pinkie Pie pronking along behind her.

"I should have guessed! She seems to keep everything in there. Paper, thread, fabric, pictures of Applejack, ink, needles, ribbons, scissors... Ooh! And gems! We should use gems on the invitations!"

Sweetie Belle paused in the doorway. "Are you sure it's okay for us to take this stuff? I promised Rarity I wouldn't touch her stuff without asking for permission first."

"Of course it's okay! I mean, normally it wouldn't be, but we're doing this for Rarity and this is an extra special emergency! Do you really think she wouldn't want her wedding not to be the awesomist, most special thing in the whole wide world?"

"No?"

"Exactly!" Pinkie Pie bounded into the middle of the room before trotting over to stick her face into the rolls of fabric, nosing them aside as she searched for just the right color.

"Uhm, what should I do?" Sweetie Belle asked awkwardly.

"Oh, right! Uhm, paper, gold thread, blue gems. I have scissors..." Pinkie Pie fell back on her haunches, putting her hoof on her chin pensively. "What do you think?"

"Me?" Sweetie Belle squeaked in surprise.

"Yep! You're her sister! I bet you have tons of ideas about how to make her wedding extra perfect!"

Sweetie Belle was stunned. "No one ever asked me something like that before."

"So you must have a lot of ideas stored up!" Pinkie Pie smiled eagerly at the filly.

The young unicorn's ears dropped. Why couldn't she think of anything? She lifted a hoof to tap lightly at the side of her head a couple times. Eventually she sighed. "I can't think of anything."

"It's okay!" Pinkie Pie said brightly before returning to browsing through the fabric. "Sometimes I get so many ideas in my head, they all stick together and none of them want to come out. I've tried hanging upside down, but they just don't like coming out sometimes." Knocking a couple of rolls of fabric over, her eyes widened at what was revealed behind. "Aha!" She reached forward to grab a roll of baby blue satin, rubbing her cheek against the lustrous fabric before tugging it out, dislodging several more rolls of fabric.

"Is that silk?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Ooh, good eye! Feel it, it's really soft!"

The filly trotted over to rub her face against it, shuddering slightly at the feel of the smooth fabric rubbing against her fur. "Wow! What are you going to use this for?"

"Streamers!" Pinkie Pie grinned. "I have enough for her, but what if it is a baby boy? Then there wouldn't be enough for both of them!"

"Baby boy?" Sweetie Belle tilted her head to the side.

"Yes! Ooh, this is a nice color of pink. Think this would be good for a girl? Or is it too traditional?" Pinkie Pie tugged on another sheet of fabric, dislodging several more onto the floor, making Sweetie Belle wince slightly at the mess she was making.

"What do you need that for? I thought this was for Rarity's wedding."

"It is! I've got yellow, red, and orange streamers for Applejack, and blue and white and purple ones for Rarity." Pinkie Pie began unrolling the fabric across the floor.

"So you're using that for Rarity then?"

"Nope. For their baby!"

"They have a baby?" Sweetie Belle blinked, confused.

"Well, not yet. But they will soon! That's why they're getting married!"

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "But they're both mares."

Pinkie Pie nodded, smiling. "Yup!"

"Two mares can't have a foal, Pinkie," she said flatly.

"Of course they can! In fact, they can have TWO foals! At the same time!"

"I mean... you know... together." Sweetie Belle gestured vaguely with her hooves.

"Well, I guess they probably wouldn't have them at the same time same time." Pinkie Pie put a hoof to her chin contemplatively. "Though I don't know if they're BOTH having one. Now that would be strange!"

Sweetie Belle stomped her hoof. "That's not what I mean, Pinkie! I mean, you need... they don't..." She trailed off as she looked at the older pony. Pinkie Pie was just sitting there watching her, a smile on her face, her blue eyes wide and innocent. "Ugh, just forget it."

"Oh Sweetie! Don't worry! Rarity won't forget you just because she has a foal of her own. Why, I bet she'd be like a new little sister to you! Isn't that exciting?" The pink pony sprung over to ruffle the filly's mane with her hoof.

"Aren't we supposed to be making invitations?" she grumbled.

"You're right!" Pinkie Pie jumped back into the middle of the room, sending one of the rolls she had knocked over earlier unfurling itself across the floor. "We have to stop wasting time and start writing! Where's the glue?"

"Over here," Sweetie Belle said, the tension leaving her as she grabbed the bottle in her mouth and brought it over.

Over the next few minutes, an increasingly large amount of material found its way to the middle of the room, and the edges of the room grew increasingly cluttered as drawers were left open, bolts of fabric knocked onto the floor, and various discarded odds and ends finding their way onto random shelves - or all too often, the carpet. "There!" Pinkie Pie declared at last. "That should be everything we need."

Sweetie Belle eyed the pile dubiously. Several bolts of fabric were sticking out at odd angles, a chest full of gems sparkled beneath a pile of papers, and one of the bottles of glue had been leaking and was now wrapped in cloth to prevent it from getting all over everything else. Spools of golden thread glittered, and even a couple pictures of Applejack had found their way into the mess.

"Are you sure it's okay to take all this?" Sweetie Belle repeated her question, starting to feel nervous as she realized just how much they were taking.

"Yup! Don't worry, she'll thank us later when her wedding is splendidiferous!" Pinkie Pie eyed the pile for several seconds, then added, "We're going to need to borrow her cart, too."

Sweetie Belle sighed and started to head downstairs, but Pinkie Pie put a hoof in front of her to stop her.

"Eh eh eh!"

"What?"

"You should take that suit off. If you go out looking like that, everypony would think we're thieves!"

Sweetie Belle smacked her hoof against her face.

By the time she'd gotten undressed and brought the cart around to the front of the boutique, Pinkie Pie had not only shed her own catsuit, but had already moved the entire pile of stuff down by the front door. "How'd you do that?"

"I carried it, silly!" The pink pony began grabbing large hoof-fulls of the stuff, casually tossing the carefully-gathered material into the cart before trotting to the front and hooking herself up.

"Wait, you're pulling it?"

"Why, did you want to?" Pinkie Pie tilted her head.

"Rarity always makes me pull the cart!"

"Well not today! It's my turn!" Pinkie Pie began trotting off, but her eyes widened as the clocktower tolled.

"Oh no! It's already ten o'clock! We have to hurry!" Pinkie Pie's trot turned to a gallop, and it was all that Sweetie Belle could do to cling to the cart as Pinkie Pie ran through the streets of Ponyville to the bakery.

***

Carrot Cake woke to the sound of a mixer.

"Honey cake?" he murmured sleepily, only to feel his wife stir in bed beside him.

"What is it, sweetum?"

"I think Pinkie is making something downstairs."

Cup Cake rolled over, wrapping her hooves around her husband and giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's our day off, snickerdoo."

Carrot Cake sighed. "I know. But what if she's conducting one of her experiments again and uses all the powdered sugar again like last time?"

His wife sighed and gave him a kiss on the nose. "I guess we should go check on her."

The ponies grunted as they rolled out of bed, stretching out their limbs as they stiffly walked to the door and headed downstairs.

"Hi Mister and Missus Cake!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed from behind a pile of paper spread out across one of the tables.

Carrot Cake blinked. "Sweetie Belle? What are you doing here?"

"Making invitations!" the young unicorn squeaked.

"You aren't getting any glue on the table, right?" Cup Cake asked worriedly.

"Nope! All on the paper."

"You know," Carrot Cake said, "We don't mind you being here, but the bakery is closed today. You really should do that at home."

"But I'm helping Pinkie Pie!"

The pair looked over towards the kitchen, then back towards Sweetie Belle.

"What is she doing?"

"Everything!" she exclaimed, throwing her hooves wide open.

Carrot exchanged a worried look with his wife, before trotting into the kitchen, which was the scene of extreme baking. Three mixers were running at the same time, and Pinkie Pie was zipping between them, adding an egg here, putting in more sugar there, adding a cup of milk to the third, the pink pony taking breaks only to pull more pans out of the cupboards.

"Pinkie Pie? I thought we told you to take today off."

"I was! But my right front hoof got achey, and that means there was a party I didn't know about! So I asked everypony in town if there was a party that I had forgotten about or if somepony new had—"

"Pinkie?" Carrot Cake said, sighing.

"Oh right! Anyway, so now I have to make an invitation for every pony in Ponyville, AND bake enough food for them, AND I think the princesses might come and Celestia really liked the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness cake and I thought that that it would make a perfect—"

"Wait, Princess Celestia?" Cup Cake asked, blinking.

"Yup! And Luna, and Cadance, and of course Twilight—"

"They're all coming?"

"Yup! And a bunch of Apples too!"

"Sugar bear, do you know what this means?" Carrot Cake asked his wife.

Cup Cake stood firm. "It means we're going to bake! Can you get my apron?"

"On it dear!"

Cup Cake strode into the center of the kitchen, watching Pinkie work as she tried to take in what she was doing. "Now Pinkie, did you pick up enough ingredients for this?"

"Yup! I put it all in the cupboard," Pinkie Pie nodded, before her eyes widened and she rushed over to one of the mixers, grasping a bottle of vanilla and tipping it sideways over the top.

"Here you go, angel cake," Carrot Cake said as he stepped over to wrap an apron around his wife's neck, his own forequarters already covered.

"Now, what are you making?"

"Well... right now I'm making the layered cakes for the MMMM! The batter is almost done, and I already preheated the ovens!"

"That's very good Pinkie," Cup Cake said as she walked over to check them. "You even got the temperature right."

"Well of course I remembered. We made the cake like a billion times trying to get it right!" Pinkie Pie bounced over to shut off a mixer, taking a spoon and poking at it to check its consistency. "Done!"

"So who is this for?"

"Applejack and Rarity, duh!"

"So what did they order?" Carrot Cake asked as he stepped over to the cupboard to take stock of their supplies.

"Well, they didn't exactly order anything..."

"Pinkie..."

"But they did totally need me to do everything for them! They're too busy to do anything themselves." Pinkie held up a hoof, tapping it with the other as she listed things off." I'm doing the invitations, and the catering, and the flowers, and the streamers, and the—"

"That's very sweet of you, but don't you think that's a bit much?"

"That's what I said! So I got her sister, and Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, and now you to help me!"

Cup Cake sighed. "So what else do we have to make? You said there would be a lot of guests."

"Cuppy?" Carrot Cake said in a strangled voice.

"What is it, pineapple bun?"

Carrot stepped aside, revealing a huge mass of cheese, eggs, fruit, vegetables, crackers, several types of flour, bags of sugar, nuts, even bottles of arrack. "Pinkie, what is all this?" the stallion asked worriedly.

"The ingredients for the food silly!"

"Just what is this party for?" Cup Cake asked, licking her lips.

"It's for a wedding, silly! And a baby shower. Can't forget the baby shower."

"A wedding and a baby shower?"

"It might even be a double baby shower!"

"A double baby shower?" Carrot blinked. "So they're having twins?"

"Oh, no. I just don't know how many of them are pregnant yet."

The Cakes stared at Pinkie Pie. "I don't understand," Cup Cake finally managed. "Who exactly is getting married?"

"Why, Applejack and Rarity of course!" Pinkie Pie smiled, before trotting over to the second mixer and turning it off with her nose as well, grasping the bowl out and starting to pour it into the cake pan.

"Wait, they're getting married?" Carrot Cake said. "I didn't even know they were dating!"

"Well duh! What did you think they needed all those desserts for?"

"But..." Carrot Cake's mouth hung open. "Rarity?"

"Yup! It surprised me too at first, but then it made perfect sense. I mean, everyone knows that Hoity Toity and Lavender Lace and Amethyst Ascot and Highfalutin and Great Cardigan like stallions, so why wouldn't Rarity like mares?"

"Lavender Lace is a stallion?" Carrot Cake asked, bewildered.

"Yup!" Pinkie Pie trotted over to the third mixer to turn it off, dumping its contents into another pan before tossing the bowl into the sink.

"I don't think it quite works that way, dear," Cup Cake said hesitantly, drawing a laugh from Pinkie Pie.

"Of course not. I mean, Fluttershy likes fashion and she doesn't like mares. Though she is awfully close friends with Rainbow Dash. Hm..." She sat back on her haunches, pondering, the Cakes both frowning at her.

"And you said... one of them was pregnant?" Cup Cake finally asked.

"Yup!" Pinkie Pie rose back to her feet. "Granny Smith found out, and you know how the Apples are."

"But Pinkie, they're both mares," Carrot Cake protested.

"Ugh! I know! I can't even put which one of them it is on the invitations! I mean, at first I thought it was Applejack, but then I thought that maybe it was Rarity, and Granny Smith is just making Applejack do the right thing, and—"

Cup Cake cut Pinkie Pie off as she stepped out of the kitchen, the cakes following the pink pony. "Two mares can't have a foal, dear."

"Of course they can, silly! In fact, they can have twice as many foals! At the same time!"

Sweetie Belle looked up from the invitations, sighing loudly. "Don't bother asking, I already tried."

"Pinkie," Carrot Cake said earnestly, "How much did you say you would make?"

"Oh, right, the food!" Pinkie Pie sprung back onto her hooves, walking out of the kitchen. "Well other than the wedding cake we're going to need cheese and crackers and salad and tortes and jello and cookies and chimney cakes and sad cakes and happy cakes and eclairs and sugar plums and those chocolatey things with cherries inside, surrounded by sugar and toothpicks stuck into them and—"

"All that?" Cup Cake said, her voice trembling.

"Yup! Well, except for the candy; I'll go get that from Bon Bon. And you don't have to make the crackers; I bought those. Thank you SO much for doing this for me." She nodded her head as Carrot Cake's eyes rolled up in his head, turning her back just as he collapsed to the floor.

"Y-you're welcome, dear," Cup Cake managed after a few tries as the pink pony trotted over to Sweetie Belle.

"Now for the invitations!"

***

Spike hummed quietly to himself as he stepped out of Rose's flower shop, tossing the bouquet of red flowers from hand to hand as he strolled out into the street.

"Today's the day I ask Rarity out on a date!" The little dragon puffed up his chest, grinning to himself as he imagined how it would go.

"Oh, Spikey Wikey!" Rarity's eyes shimmered as Spike bowed, presenting the bouquet of red carnations to her. "Do you know what these mean?"

"Of course I know what they mean!" Spike said, his voice deep and gruff. "My heart has been aching for your love for years. I love you Rarity, and I want to be with you. I just hope you feel the same way."

"Oh, Spike!" The beautiful maiden leaned forward to give him a kiss. "I have been waiting for this moment for so long, I had begun to fear you would never ask. Yes! Of course—"

Sudden pain interrupted Spike's thoughts as he was bowled over by a running pony, the small dragon crashing down into the street. Petals rained down on the dazed dragon and his attacker as he clutched at his snout.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" he said angrily, his eyes watering too much to give him a good view of his attacker. My bouquet...

"I'm awful sorry about that Spike, I'm just in such a rush today."

"Apple Bloom?" he asked, lifting his hand to wipe away his tears.

"You alright?" The filly leaned forward, nosing at the dragon, helping him to his feet.

Spike shook his head to clear it. The bouquet was ruined; most of the flowers had been scattered around him, and a number of them had been bent or lost petals. Tears began to trickle down his scaly cheeks. "Not really," he sniffed.

Apple Bloom looked down at the flowers awkwardly, before bending down to pick one up in her mouth to hand it to him. "Aw, I'm sorry. I'll help you pick them up."

"Oh what's the point? They're ruined now. Rarity will never go for them."

"Rarity?" Apple Bloom's ears perked up. "These were for Rarity?"

"Yeah," Spike sighed.

"I'm helpin' her out today too. Maybe I can get more of 'em? I'm sure she's going to need a lot."

Spike blinked, sniffing. "What do you mean?" He used the back of his claws to wipe away the tears from his cheeks.

"Well, what with the weddin' and all, they're goin' to need a lot of flowers. Pinkie Pie gave me a list."

"Wedding? What wedding?"

"Uh, the wedding this afternoon?" Apple Bloom tilted her head. "I thought you said you were helpin'?"

"I never said anything about that. A wedding huh?" The dragon stood tall and puffed out his chest. "Well, if Rarity needs my help, I'd love to! What kind of flowers do we need?"

"Well, Pinkie Pie said we needed some roses and blue violets. Uh, yellow daisies. Buttercup. And somethin' called celandine, I'm not too sure what that is. Not any marigolds though; she don't like those much for some reason."

"Easy peasy. How many are we going to need?"

"Enough for a big weddin'."

Spike scratched the back of his head as other ponies passed by on either side, skirting around the spilled flowers. "That's a lot of flowers. How were you going to carry them all?"

"I hadn't gotten that far yet. I was just comin' to see Rose to see what she's got."

"Heh, yeah, figures." Spike sighed again, looking down at the carnations on the ground, bending down to pick up a few of the less damaged ones.

"So if you didn't know about the weddin', what are the flowers for?" Apple Bloom asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing," Spike said, waving his free hand. "Where is Rarity anyway?"

"She's at Sweet Apple Acres, of course!"

"Heh. She sure has been spending a lot of time with Applejack lately. I wonder what those two have been up to?" Spike dusted off one of the flowers.

"Well, kissin' mostly, I 'spect."

Spike shook his head again. "You must have hit me harder than I thought," the dragon chuckled as he bent over to pick up another carnation. "That sounded like you said they were kissing."

"I did."

"What?" The dragon jerked upright suddenly.

Apple Bloom looked at the dragon strangely. "I said they've been kissin'."

"B-but why are they kissing?" the dragon stammered, the flowers falling from his nerveless claws.

"Cause they love each other, silly." Apple Bloom started to lead the way towards Rose's shop.

"L-l-l-love?"

Apple Bloom looked back at the dragon. "Course. Why else would they be getting married?"

"M-married?"

"Yeah. Who did you think I meant?"

The world crumbled around Spike as he fell to his knees in the middle of the street. The young dragon cast his head back, looking up towards the heavens as he lifted his shaking claws to the sky in despair. The clouds in the sky seemed so far away, drifting in the wind, slowly being blown away from the dragon. Black sorrow wrapped itself around his heart; his one true love, snatched away by another. And not just any other, but one of his friends. The blue sky began to blur above him as tears filled his eyes once more; it almost looked like a vast field of diamonds, glittering above, oh so far away - forever out of reach of the dragon. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Apple Bloom stared at Spike as he held his pose for several seconds. "You sure have been spendin' a lot of time with Rarity, ain't you?" the filly said, utterly unimpressed, but Spike couldn't hear her.

Spike could see her standing atop the golden hill. The dragon raced towards her on his stubby legs, falling to his knees time and again as the wind whipped around him, bending the yellow wildflowers, the whole of the field seeming to ripple like waves in an amber sea. Spike knew that if he did not reach her, he would lose her forever, and yet, he knew in his heart of hearts that he was already too late - that he had always been too late.

It felt as though the dragon was running through water; he was moving in slow motion, the air closing in around his stubby limbs, leaving him trapped. He cried out to his love, cried out with all his might, but his love did not hear him; she could not hear him. He waved his arms, desperately, but he knew it was futile; she only had eyes for the figure climbing the hill.

He knew that figure well - the golden mane, the strong, lithe muscles rippling beneath that orange coat as she climbed the hill, a smile on her face as green eyes met blue. She slowed as she approached his love, the alabaster unicorn's coat gleaming in the sun as they came together.

Spike's heart thumped in his chest as the two mares nuzzled, then burst aflame as they shared a private smile - a smile that spoke volumes of their love, devotion, and passion. Their mouths opened slightly as the two mares moved together, hooves seeking each others' bodies as their lips locked in a wonderful, glorious, sensual kiss...

Apple Bloom looked at Spike oddly as the young dragon's claws had fallen to his sides in the dusty street, his cheeks flaming red. "Equestria to Spike," she said, waving a hoof in front of his glazed eyes.

No reaction.

"Spike!" she shouted, bringing her hoof down on top of his head.

"Ow! Hey!" Spike lifted his hand to rub the top of his head, his blush fading. "Sorry about that, Apple Bloom."

The filly huffed. "You helpin' or not?"

"Yeah, yeah..." He wiped away his tears, leaving dirty streaks on his cheek as he looked towards the west, towards Sweet Apple Acres, his eyes shimmering. "Don't worry, my lady. I will make sure your day is perfect."

"Spike?" Apple Bloom called to him from the door.

"I'm coming," the dragon grumbled as he trudged back into the flower shop, leaving the red flowers strewn across the street.

***

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!"

The pegasus perked her ears. "Give up already, squirt?" she asked as she rolled over on her cloud, rising to her hooves.

"Nope!"

"Got it all figured out then?" The pegasus smirked as she peered over the side of her cloud, blinking at the sight of several items piled in the red wagon behind Scootaloo's scooter. "What's all this?"

"What you asked for! Well, kinda."

Driven by curiosity, Rainbow Dash slid off her cloud, gliding down in a lazy spiral towards the filly. "Alright, what'cha got?"

"Well, the wing wash was easy," Scootaloo said. "I just went home and grabbed my shampoo. It's okay if you borrow some of it, but I'm going to need the rest of it back so mom and dad don't get upset."

Rainbow Dash chuckled at the proffered bottle of feather soap. "Alright, what else?"

"Well, I couldn't find any holes in any of the stores in town," Scootaloo began, earning a chortle from the older pegasus, "But Mr. Tailer said that a hole punch would do a lot better. Then you can make all the holes you want and never run out!" The filly reached in to scoop up the small metallic object, making Rainbow Dash's grin go lopsided.

"Pretty clever, kiddo. But what about the dehydrated water?" She smirked.

Scootaloo laughed. "Oh, I knew you were just joking about that."

"Heh, I guess so," the pegasus said, looking over the other two items.

"So can I have your shotgun now?"

Rainbow Dash's smile faded. "Shotguns are pretty dangerous, Scoot."

"You told me that before," the little pegasus protested. "I promise I'll be careful."

"You DO realize shotguns are illegal to own?"

"No," Scootaloo said, looking down at the ground. "So you don't have one?" Her wings slumped. "You tricked me?"

Rainbow Dash smiled kindly, taking a step closer to put a hoof over her back. "Yeah, I was just playing a little prank on you. I didn't expect you to actually find that stuff."

Scootaloo sniffed.

"Hey, don't feel bad, kid. My dad sent me on a snipe hunt too when I was about your age."

"A snipe hunt?" Scootaloo rubbed at her nose.

"Yeah. Asking for stuff that doesn't exist." She chuckled. "Don't worry about it too much kiddo, I'm pretty sure that Pinkie Pie was sending you on one too."

"That's mean!"

Rainbow Dash rubbed at Scootaloo's mane. "Sorry. But look, we can totally prank Pinkie back."

"What do you mean?" The filly reached up to paw at her eyes with her hooves, clearing the tears that had been forming.

"Well, I don't have a shotgun, but I know somepony who does."

"Really?" Scootaloo perked up.

"Sure do. In fact, one of my friends has one up in her attic."

Scootaloo looked at Rainbow Dash skeptically. "This isn't another sniper hunt again, is it?"

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Nah. She totally has one. Pretty sure she's scared of it and hasn't touched it since she moved in. But if we bring that to Pinkie, she'll totally think it's awesome." Rainbow Dash lowered her wing over the filly's back, pulling her in against her side. "What do you say? Sound good to you, squirt?"

"Okay!" she said, bobbing her head up and down rapidly, earning another small chuckle from the mare.

"Let's get going then." Rainbow Dash jerked her head towards the road before she started walking, Scootaloo slowly pushing her scooter alongside. "Though, you know, Pinkie Pie really needs to work on her stories."

"Ha ha, yeah, pretty lame," Scootaloo said awkwardly, before flicking her eyes up to Rainbow Dash and licking her lips. "Are you sure? Apple Bloom sounded pretty serious to me."

"Trust me, kid," Rainbow Dash said, waving her hoof, "I know Applejack. There's no way she'd marry Rarity."