A Funny Thing about Spiders
The Amazing Spider-Pony
Chapter 1
“C'mon dammit, put the bits in the bag!” A large Pegasus said holding a gun to a whimpering shopkeeper's head while a not-quite-equally-large-but-just-as-menacing Earth-Pony grabbed things off the shelves of the store and really just made a nuisance of himself. Both of them were wearing ski-masks to cover their faces and pants to cover their cutie-marks, the shopkeeper quickly emptied the cash register feeling powerless as the thug trashed his store.
“Are we good?” Asked the Earth-Pony from the back of the store dropping whatever he didn't want to take on to the ground.
“Yeah, we're good. Let's get going.” The Pegasus said as he tied up the laundry bag in which he was keeping the bits before pointing his gun back at the shopkeeper. “...and remember if ya call for help...I'm gonna shoot ya.” The Pegasus said as he backed out of the store and ran out into the dark deserted night, his wingless friend in tow, the two of them quickly ducked into an alleyway where they could count their winnings.
“There's gotta be two hundred bits in here...” The Pegasus said listening to the clinking of the coins in the bag and opened it up to take a look. “... what did you haul?” He asked not bothering to look up, he got no response. “...Mosely?” The Pegasus looked around and found himself face to face with an Earth-Pony mare in a skin-tight red and blue suit that covered her from head to toe, except for the eyes which were covered by a glass resembling a mirror, covering her chest was an emblem; a black spider, lastly was the same spider symbol on either side of her rump covering the spot her cutie-mark would have been.
“Wow! Two hundred bits! You could get like ten cherries for that much money and they call you guys crooks!” The mare said slyly as she held out her hoof and shot a string of something that could only be described as spider web (especially considering the spider motif) at the bag of bits and pulled them over to her. “I'm just gonna take these.”
“Whoa, whoa! Where's Mosely? Who the buck are you? ...Give me back those bits!” The Pegasus said pointing his gun right in the costumed pony's face.
“Y'know the way you’re waving that thing around, a pony would think you were overcompensating for something.” She said when suddenly with a deafening bang the Pegasus fired his gun and the masked pony dodged at an impossible speed, he repeated the action this time firing off three rounds; the costumed pony dodged them all just as easily as the first. “You are a lousy shot, my friend.” She said quickly as she shot another web and snatched the gun out of his hoof. “You'll get this back at the end of class, young colt. But first I want you to apologise to the colt you took those bits from or it's detention for you.”
“Nuts to this! Buck you, you freak!” The Pegasus shouted as he took off flying away from the scene forgetting Mosely and the bits, he looked back to see if the mare was running after him, she was nowhere to be seen. “She must've given up, ya gotta love these wings.” He thought to himself as he flew down the street.
“Piggyback ride!” The brutish Pegasus looked up startled as the costumed pony fell seemingly from nowhere and landed squarely between his wings sending both of them crashing to the ground.
“Oww, my… back.” The Pegasus groaned in pain.
“Quit whining you filly. That couldn't have been more than fifteen feet.” The spandex clad mare said jumping to her hooves. “Now... Let's get you gift-wrapped...”
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The shopkeeper had just gotten finished tidying up his store when he heard a knock at the door, he had taken the precaution of locking the store while he was cleaning.
“I'm sorry, we're not open right now.” He said weakly, however the knocking persisted, he was tired of being pushed around and opened the door violently. “I said we aren't op-” he yelled but stopped short when he noticed the two crooks from earlier unmasked, bound and gagged by webbing, their collective loot on the ground in front of them and a written note attached to their bindings. That simply said...
“We're super sorry,
courtesy of your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Pony.”
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Hey everypony, Pinkie Pie here! In case you couldn't tell by my lightning quick reflexes and even quicker sense of humour, I am the Spider-Pony. Normally I wouldn't just tell anypony, but I figure you aren't likely to tell anyone... So this is my story...
Wait a minute... Is that a good place to start this story? Maybe I should start with Twilight joining Unicorp... Actually that's not that big a deal, Twilight got a job at a corporation in Canterlot, kept Spike as her assistant (of course, there nopony on earth who can keep up with Twi's filing system) sometimes we go to see her, whenever she gets time off they come back to see us. Boom! That's one plot point resolved. She even got Fluttershy a job with her in the genetics department, nopony knows animal biology like her after all and Fluttershy was pretty desperate since... Ooh, ooh! That's where I'll start, Fluttershy's accident... Umm, it's not an easy story to tell so bear with me...
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It was a stormy Thursday in Ponyville and Fluttershy was franticly trying to herd as many critters into her home as its capacity would allow, the birds and bugs had disappeared doing whatever it is that they do during a storm, which really just left the smaller mammals, but time was running out and the gale force winds would be upon them soon.
“Oh no! Where's Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy bawled as she stuffed an assortment of ferrets, rabbits, raccoons and maybe even a wombat into her cottage, none of her friends had been able to help out; Rainbow Dash had been called in to help with the storm, Applejack had her own troubles trying to secure her trees, Rarity was watching over the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Twilight and Spike were busy with their new jobs. Only Pinkie Pie had been free to help and she was supposed to have been here an hour ago. If Pinkie had helped she'd be finished by now and be safely inside sitting in front of the fire, cuddling up with Angel Bunny... “Angel!” Fluttershy shouted realising she hadn't seen Angel since the rain began.
“Wheredidyougo!? Wheredidyougo!? Angel, where are you!?” Fluttershy was in hysterics and looking all over her backyard for the snow white rabbit, she finally spotted him trying to stay out of the rain by hiding under a tree, the yellow Pegasus quickly ran over to him just as a stray lightning bolt and particularly strong gust of wind worked in tandem to rip off an oversized branch that landed right on top of her with a loud crash. “Pinkie Pie...” Fluttershy mumbled weakly...
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Sorry, sorry. It's funny looking back, knowing how I set everything in motion. Not just my own problems but a lot of other innocent ponies have suffered because of how I acted… or didn’t. I always get a bit choked up around this part. So if you don't mind, I'll just skip ahead to the hospital...
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“Fl...rshy? ...rypony! She's waking up!” Fluttershy could hear somepony talking. No, not somepony, somedragon, someone? It was Spike. She could also hear two ponies arguing in the hallway but they quickly stopped and ran to Fluttershy's bedside. Everything was blurry and no matter how much Fluttershy rubbed her eyes she couldn't see clearly, but she could define six figures that were definitely her friends.
“Fluttershy, how are you feeling?” Said a purple blob that was most likely Twilight. “You should stop rubbing your eyes...” Twilight took hold of Fluttershy's hooves and guided them back to the bed.
“Oh, Twilight is that you? You didn't have to come to Ponyville to make sure I was okay...” Fluttershy responded squinting trying to see. “Why can't I see? Was I sedated?” Every pony in the room was silently begging another to say something, Rainbow Dash finally stepped forward.
“You aren't in Ponyville, Fluttershy. They... Umm...” Rainbow Dash said her voice cracking slightly but she quickly steeled her resolve. “...They didn't have the right equipment at the hospital back home, so they transferred you to the Canterlot Hospital.”
“What!? Why did they have to move me to Canterlot? Did I hit my head? Will I ever see properly again?” Fluttershy was beginning to get nervous
Rainbow Dash gestured for somepony to take over; Spike, who had been sitting at Fluttershy's bedside grabbed a small case from the nightstand.
“Calm down, darling... These should help you to see. Spike, dear, be careful. Hold still, Fluttershy.” Rarity said as Spike opened the box, pulled out a pair of spectacles and carefully placed them on Fluttershy's face. “I know it's a little inappropriate right now. But they do make you look adorable, darling.” Rarity said smiling as Fluttershy's eyes took focus.
“Oh! That's much better... Is this... permanent?” Fluttershy hesitated to ask, fearing the answer and looked around the large hospital room scanning each of her friends faces, each of them looked like by they had been awake for hours, maybe even days and had been crying. Only Pinkie Pie was still openly weeping.
“F-F-Fluttershy, I... I'm so sorry. Mr and Mrs Cake needed help in the kitchen and I lost track of time and I came to help you and you were pinned under a log and you were bleeding and- and- and your wing...” Pinkie rambled frantically through her tears.
Fluttershy suddenly realised that she couldn't feel her right wing and her blood went cold, she very slowly turned and saw the bandaged stump where her wing had once been.
“Now, Fluttershy, we know that it ain't right of us ta ask ya to not freak out... But ah've seen ponies littler than y’all come back from a lot worse...” Applejack placed a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder.
“Worse? Worse?! I was a terrible flier to begin with! Now I'm literally half the Pegasus I used to be!” Everyone was taken aback by her sudden reaction. Next to Rainbow's boasting, they had always figured that Fluttershy didn't really care about flying. They were finally realising just how wrong they were. “I can't look after my birds! I can't keep up with all my animals!” She said with an acidic tone that ate away at the souls of everypony in the room. Her stare shifted to Pinkie.
“And all because of you...” Taking a quiet tone but filled with the same malice that had driven her last outburst. “What did the Cakes need that was so important that it cost me a wing?” She said without blinking.
Pinkie was speechless.
“Fluttershy!” Twilight said.”We understand that you're unhappy but don't let this destroy the kind pony we all know you are.” Said Twilight in a firm but reassuring manner.
“What good is kindness? It cost me a bucking wing!” Fluttershy said tears pouring out of her eyes. “Why don't you use your magic? Pull a wing out of your hat!” She said in a hysterical fit.
“I-I... I wish I could.” Twilight put her hoof on Fluttershy. A look spread across Fluttershy’s face like she had realised this had really happened. It wasn’t a nightmare or delusion and she’d need her friends support to get through it.
“Oh... I-I'm so...” She said collapsing in a hug from her Lavender friend. “I'm so sorry!” She choked out between sobs.
“It's ok. We're all here.” Twilight said, trying to hold back tears herself. “If you want, I've lined up a job for you at Unicorp. That way you can save some money for the future and if you don’t like it, you can leave whenever you want. You'd be working with me in the Genetics Department in the animal lab. I thought you might like that." Twilight said as the hug concluded.
"And if you need an assistant I'd be happy to lend a helping claw whenever you want." Spike said
"Not to mention it might do you some good to get away from Ponyville for a while.” Said Twilight, hoping that no bridges between Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had permanently burned.
Eventually, everyone had joined in on a group hug, except Pinkie. She had frozen in place the moment Fluttershy had set that cold violent stare on her. Fluttershy would adapt, move on and take to her new life. However Pinkie would never forget the amount of hatred her friend had conveyed in that one sentence.
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And so, Fluttershy moved off to Canterlot, I threw a going away party, inviting just our closest friends, we parted on surprisingly good terms, considering... But there was still a distance between us that had never been there before.
A few months later Twilight invited the four of us that were still living in Ponyville to come see her work at Unicorp. I think Twilight knew I was beating myself up about Fluttershy's condition, she was right, I hated myself. I thought that that would be the worst thing that I'd ever do. Little did I know, it was all downhill from there... So where was I? Unicorp!
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“Welcome to Unicorp, finding innovations and breakthroughs through the combination of science and sorcery.” Said a unicorn mare, azure blue in colour with a purple mane and an oil lantern on either side of her flank. “Doctor Twilight Sparkle regrets that she is unable to come and meet you personally, but she promises she'll catch up with you once she has finished today's experiment. My name is Lantern Light and I'll be you tour guide today.” As the four were the only ponies there Pinkie Pie took the liberty of introducing everypony.
“Hi Lantern Light, I'm Pink-” Pinkie started but was quickly cut off.
“Pinkie Pie, yes I know. And this is Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity. Doctor Sparkle gave me full personality files on each of you. You look beautiful today, Miss Rarity.” Lantern Light said finishing with a nod to Rarity.
“Oh! Umm... Thank you.” Rarity said hesitantly as the five of them boarded the elevator to the higher floors. “Do you actually think I look beautiful? Or where you just told to say that?”
“I was told to say that. I was also instructed to skip the first several floors as you would find them “boring.” We will start from the 15th floor. Robotics and Machinery.” Said Lantern Light as they exited the elevator. They were instantly subjected to the whirring and clicking of heavy machinery. Lantern Light calmly turned around to face the group of friends.
“You four should consider yourselves lucky; you get to meet the head of the department and my boss, Doctor Philharmonica.” Said Lantern happily as she pressed a button that raised a portion of the wall, revealing a window to what appeared to be a mechanical workshop. Through this window they saw a grey mare with a darker grey mane wearing a large white lab coat and thick spectacles working on what appeared to be a large robotic claw, working alongside her was a white unicorn mare with pink hair wearing a similar coat.
The grey mare adjusted her bow tie and looked up to see Lantern Light and the tour group. “I'm sorry, but this floor is closed off to tourists, Lantern Light why did you bring them here?” Dr Philharmonica said as the group looked on in interest, except Rarity.
“Philharmonica..?” Rarity said to herself quietly with her hoof to her chin, trying to recall the name.
“They're on a full tour, courtesy of Doctor Sparkle, I was instructed to show them “cool” things and not mention Doctor Fluttershy's accident.” Lantern said smiling contently and nodding at Pinkie Pie who had just lost any semblance of a spring in her step.
“Lantern, my floor is confidential at all times, Doctor Sparkle doesn't have the authority to override that order, is your A.I. malfunctioning? Could you please come over here?” Dr Philharmonica asked pressing a button and opening a door adjacent to the observation window, Lantern Light obediently ran to the Doctor's table, where she was preparing a set of tools. “You can take a break for a while, Rosey.”
Her assistant breathed a sigh of relief and got up from the work bench. “Much appreciated, Doctor.” Said Octavia’s apprentice Rosey Cheeks as she left the room, passing the group on her way out.
“What'd y'all say was malfunctioning?” Asked Applejack confused as the other four ponies followed Lantern Light into the lab.
“Her A.I. or Artificial Intelligence. If you can call it that...” Said the Doctor chuckling to herself as she examined Lantern's head.
“Wait... You mean she's-” Pinkie started but was once again cut off as Dr Philharmonica removed Lantern Light's scalp.
“WAAAGH!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash screamed holding each other in a tight hug.
“A robot, yes. A highly advanced model.” The Doctor said revealing a very impressive science-y looking display just beneath the scalp. She fiddled with a few things before Lantern's whole head caught fire.
“WAAAGH!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash screamed once again.
“Uh-oh.” The Doctor gasped as she adjusted her spectacles and pulled out a handy fire extinguisher, quickly putting it to use. “But sadly the only advanced thing about her is how real she looks; I just can't seem to get the artificial intelligence right... Well she won't be going anywhere any time soon. But I was looking for an excuse to get out of the lab for a while and stretch my legs. If you don't mind I'll take you to Doctors Sparkle and Fluttershy.” Dr Philharmonica said removing her lab coat and revealing her cutie-mark which resembled a purple treble clef. The four slack-jawed visitors, were too distracted to make a note of this however as they were still struggling with what they had just witnessed, the Doctor placed Lantern Light's scalp on the desk and hung up her lab coat on the way out.
Upon seeing the Doctors cutie mark Rarity's eye went wide with sudden clarity “Octavia Philharmonica?” Rarity asked with hesitation as the tour group made their way back to the elevator.
“Doctor Octavia Philharmonica...Yes?” Dr Octavia said wondering how Rarity had guessed her first name.
“I thought you were a cellist for the Royal Canterlot Orchestra? What are you doing working in a place like Unicorp?” The white unicorn asked making an effort to not sound condescending.
“As it turns out, playing a fancy instrument isn't quite enough to pay the bills these days. So I returned to my childhood love of robotics.” Dr Octavia said as she pressed the button and awaited the elevator.
“So robots are where the big money is? Also, what was that you were working on back there?” Rainbow Dash asked dubiously.
“I think you've heard enough about me for one day. Like I said; my work is confidential. But if it works out, I think you'll be hearing a lot more about me.” Dr Octavia said with a faraway look in her eyes that was visible even behind her glasses. “You're Sparkle and Fluttershy's friends right? They talk about you a lot. Let me see if I remember your names... Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Pink Pie, right?” Dr Octavia guessed almost correctly.
“Umm, Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie corrected half-heartedly. “I guess they don't talk about me as much. Well, I can't say I blame them.” She thought to herself as they arrived at the elevator.
“Oh, sorry.” Dr Octavia apologised remembering the story attached to Pinkie and Fluttershy as she pressed the button to open the door
*ding*
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*ding*
“...And that's how I got the middle name “Danger”.” Rainbow Dash finished as the elevator doors opened.
“Absolutely mystifying.” Dr Octavia said not sure if Rainbow Dash's story was intended to relieve the awkward situation or make it worse. “Floor 33, Genetic Experimentation.”
After a quick look around they found Fluttershy in a room that resembled a hospital clinic, wherein Fluttershy was drawing blood from Spike by using a comically large needle. “I wish there was another way Spike. But anything smaller and it wouldn’t be able to pierce your scales.” Fluttershy said noticing the poor little dragon wincing in pain as she pulled the plunger which caused the needle to fill with blood.
“If anything you should be happy you have such strong scales. Not to mention the research that comes from your blood could help millions of ponies all over Equestria. We’re in a pretty unique situation considering we have an actual living dragon to study.” Fluttershy said sweetly as she removed the needle and bandaged up the bloody spot.
“No big deal.” Spike strained to say through the pain, he looked over to the group who watched the whole ordeal “Did you guys see the size of that needle!”
“Yeah! Way to go, tough guy!” Said Rainbow Dash giving him a light tap on the arm.
“You were very brave, my little Spikey-Wikey.” Rarity said giving Spike a quick kiss on the forehead.
“Doctor Octavia. Thank you for finding my friends. What happened to the tour guide?” Fluttershy asked.
“She exploded, Doctor Fluttershy. I'm afraid it's back to the drawing board for the guide program.” Dr Octavia said sounding slightly dejected.
“Lantern Light was a robot?” Spike asked dabbing at the bloody spot on his with a piece of cotton.
“Yes. I thought I sent out the memo... Anyway, I need to get to back to work, thank you for your time, ladies.” Dr Octavia said before turning tail and going straight back into the elevator.
“I thought she was dating Number Cruncher in accounting.” Fluttershy said quickly.
Dr Octavia didn't break her stride and called back while laughing. “So did he!”
“Goodbye, Doctor Octavia.” Fluttershy said as the Doctor waved back at the group as the doors closed.
“What a nice pony… slightly eccentric but who isn't these days?” said Rarity who winked at Pinkie Pie.
“I wonder what she means by that?” Pinkie thought to herself before turning to address Fluttershy “Umm, Fluttershy… I just wante-” Pinkie started but was cut off.
“Please Pinkie, you shouldn’t feel the need to apologise anymore, let’s go and find Twilight, okay?” Fluttershy said as they left the room and proceeded down the hall. Eventually they found themselves waiting outside one of the testing rooms, until Twilight came out to greet them.
“Hi everypony! You’re here earlier than I expected. What happened to Lantern Light?” Twilight Sparkle asked noting her absence.
“Octavia said she… umm… exploded.” Fluttershy said sheepishly.
“Lantern Light was a robot?” Twilight asked having been completely oblivious of this fact.
“Ah certainly hope so.” Added Applejack.
“Well, that explains why Octavia was so insistent that I make her my assistant, she just wanted me test some new robot, I was already over-staffed with Spike as my assistant anyway.” Twilight groaned. “Now, I need to tell Number Cruncher the bad news, I’ve hit a dead end in the Performance Enhancement serum and I still need to check on the spiders... Well, do you girls wanna see some spiders? It’s really interesting, we use a kind of “magic radiation” to enhance the spiders’ natural abilities and we're looking for a method to transfer these abilities into other beings, although this is still early in development.” Twilight said as Fluttershy passed the burden of group leader on to her.
As the group came up to the room marked “Arachnid Observatory” Pinkie Pie was overcome with a strange sense of anxiety “Am I afraid of spiders?” Pinkie thought to herself but dismissed the thought. “No, I’m afraid of doing something stupid and hurting another one of my friends. There’s no way I’m going into a room full of “magic radioactive spiders.”
Twilight swiped her key-card and opened the door. “Uh, girls? I might sit this one out. Spiders give me the heebie-jeebies.” Pinkie Pie said taking a seat just outside the door.
“Uh… Okay Pinks, suit yourself.” Rainbow Dash shrugged knowing better than to argue with Pinkie when she got like this.
"Do you want me to wait with you?" Asked Spike hesitantly, knowing that this was odd behaviour for Pinkie Pie.
"Don't drag him down into your pity party. Tell him to go see the spiders." Pinkie thought to herself. "No thanks, Spike. I'm going to try and find the bathroom." Pinkie Pie said gazing nonchalantly down the hall.
"Good luck. It took me two hours to find one on my first day." Spike said as the group made their way into the Arachnid Observatory and the glass door shut behind them.
Pinkie began a slow trot down the hall, looking into random rooms as she went. She saw a fridge full of beakers and syringes containing a variety of multi-coloured liquids. All labelled with a wide selection of numbers and letters. “Peel-off labels... So easy to remove...” Pinkie thought to herself.
“Oh! That would be such a funny prank!” She said moving towards the lab storage freezer. Then stopped herself. “But that wouldn't be funny because that's somepony's work.” She said remembering the time she swapped the Cake's cooking sugar for table salt and they got really mad. Pinkie could do nothing but sigh in response to the feeling of immense boredom setting in around her. She looked around for something to take her mind off things. She quickly found the employee lounge. She went to the fridge to see if there was any unlabelled food that wouldn't be missed.
“Let's see... Daffodil sandwich property of Dr. Sparkle... Carrot salad belonging to Dr. Fluttershy, please don't eat unless you're really hungry, I think I'd understand...” Pinkie said as she read out each note. She noticed one note and read it aloud. “To Lantern Light. Made you some lunch, sweetie. From Number Cruncher...” Pinkie felt bad for the poor guy but she was hungry and Lantern Light wasn't going to miss it. She took the lid off revealing a pie. “Sorry, Crunchy...” She said grabbing a fork. “She would've wanted it this way.” garbled Pinkie as she consumed the pie with gusto.
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“...And this Spider's reflexes are so impressive it borders on precognition, it even outperforms three out of five ponies using clairvoyance spells.” Said Twilight, as she pointed to a container containing another spider.
Rarity was anxious to leave the room. However, she had been impressed by the strength of the fabric made from processed spider webs and was always a fan of intricate patterns like those made by the intellectually enhanced spiders. All the same, she was getting a bit jumpy.
Rainbow Dash was much less deterred.
“Let me guess... Is this an invisible spider?” She said, gesturing to an empty tank with nothing but web inside and a few twigs on the lower level.
“Hmm, no... They must have taken that one for testing. Heh heh...” Twilight said laughing nervously. Little did the tour group know that the spider in question observed their actions from above, dangling by a web from the rooftop.
Rarity examined one container that appeared to simply have a large ball of web inside. She took a closer look as it began quivering... Spike noting Rarity's vested interest, looked closely at strange ball as well. The very next second the ball of web, which was in fact an egg-sac, burst open flooding the small plastic container with hundreds of baby spiders. If you’ve never seen it before, it is a startling sight to see.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!” Rarity and Spike held each other tightly and screamed at the top of their lungs.
Pinkie, hearing the scream from the employee lounge, ran as fast as she could to her friends aide. Pinkie Pie reared on to her front hooves and bucked down the glass door. “What's wrong?! Who screamed?!” Pinkie shouted frantically.
“Pfft, take a guess.” Rainbow Dash scoffed, shaking her head at Rarity who was going red in the face.
“Well, it was scary!” Spike said embarrassed about the ordeal, but stunned that he had gotten a hug from Rarity out of it.
Rarity, having regained her composure prepared to defend her position. “And furthermore...” Rarity said getting ready to continue her and Spike's defence, but stopped when she noticed Twilight turning red too, not out of embarrassment but anger.
“Pinkie, everypony is fine. A fact you could have surmised for yourself if you had taken a second to look through the glass door instead of kicking it down!” Twilight shouted before taking a deep breath and continuing. “Pinkie Pie, you really need to learn to stop and consider the consequences of your actions.”
“Way to go, Pinkie. You've made everypony mad at you again.” Pinkie thought to herself. As she monologued internally the escapee spider slowly and carefully descended into Pinkie's mane, unbeknownst to anypony (or dragon) in the room. “It's getting pretty late. Maybe I should just go home...” Pinkie Pie said quietly.
“If that's what you think is best, Pinkie.” Twilight said as she started gathering up the shattered glass. Pinkie Pie crossed over the doorless doorframe and headed towards the exit.
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It was a humid Canterlot night and mosquitoes were buzzing around. Shortly after leaving the building Applejack caught up with Pinkie Pie “Hold up, Pinkie. Ah'll come with ya. Most of this science stuff's lost on me anyhow.” Applejack said as the pair made their way towards the train station. “Plus Ah reckon it'd get a might borin' without you around.”
“I should tell her not to come, stay with our friends. Don't let her choose sides.” Pinkie thought to herself, but couldn't manage the words. “Thanks, AJ. I think I might need the company... I wouldn't want to be riding the train home at night, all by myself.” Pinkie said as she felt a sting on the back of her head “Ouch!” Pinkie exclaimed and swatted at the source of the sting, Pinkie examined her hoof finding the remains of a crushed spider, not thinking anything of it, Pinkie simply flicked it away. “The stupid thing bit me.” Pinkie muttered to herself as she felt the welt the spider-bite had left.
“Bug-bite?” Asked Applejack swatting a mosquito on her own face.
“Yup, no big deal.” Pinkie said as the two Earth-Ponies arrived at the train station.
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Pinkie Pie had fallen asleep almost as soon as the train left the station, but they were getting close to Ponyville. “Pinkie, we're almost home.” Applejack said quietly and gently nudged Pinkie to wake her up.
Pinkie Pie's eyes shot open and she leapt into the air, somehow adhering to the roof of the train car and assumed a defensive position, everypony on the train including Applejack, was staring wide-eyed at the pink pony standing upside down on the roof of the train “Pinkie Pie... What on Celestia's green Equestria are ya doin' up there?”
Pinkie Pie just stared back for a moment, everything was distorted. Pinkie couldn't hear clearly or see straight and she ached all over. Things were coming back into focus and a large orange blob in front of Pinkie was revealed to be Applejack... upside down. “Applejack, why are you upside down?” Pinkie asked when suddenly one of her hooves lost its grip on the roof and came loose, followed quickly by the rest of Pinkie. “Whoa!” Pinkie exclaimed as she fell to the ground.
“Last stop, Ponyville!” A voice called over the intercom.
“Let's get you home.” Applejack said, uncertain of what had just had happened.
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Pinkie stumbled through the door to Sugarcube Corner having assured Applejack that she could make it to her bedroom just fine on her own. But as soon as Pinkie opened the door she was met with a pair of disapproving faces belonging to Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
“Pinkie, do you realise what time it is?” Asked Mr. Cake in a stern tone.
“I know Mr. Cake. I'm late, I'm insensitive, I'm irresponsible...” Pinkie Pie said as she entered and promptly exited the kitchen carrying all sorts of cakes and pastries. “...I'm hungry. Good night.” Pinkie said as she went upstairs to her bedroom and shut the door behind her.
“What do you think?” Mr. Cake asked looking nervously at his wife.
“She took the fruitcake from last Hearth's Warming...” Mrs. Cake said.
“I'll have a chat with her tomorrow.” Mr. Cake said as the two went off to bed.