A Time Traveler's Perspective

Both of my eyes open as the sun streams into the window. Maybe I should ask about getting some sort of blinds, this could be something that gets really annoying in the future. That will be a second thing that I need, right after the bigger bed. I had overestimated my ability to curl up, my feet had still stuck out a couple of times over the course of the night. It wasn’t enough to keep me awake, but I would rather not have to deal with that for any longer than I have to.

On another note, I never wake up at sunrise.

Maybe I’m awake because I went to sleep so early, it was dusk when I had gone to sleep.

I yawn, stretch, and stand up. Oh right naked. I start to wonder if I should put the clothes back on, but the underwear are still ripped. That wouldn’t be so bad, really, but I just feel weird when I wear pants without underwear. And there’s no point for me to just wear a shirt. I guess nudity is just the way that it’s going to be here. All of the ponies are doing it, so it really can’t be all that bad of an idea.

I am going to hate it when I bring my parents here.

Maybe I can convince them to keep their clothes on. I pull out the journal, just to make sure that I have it written down. It likely doesn’t need to be written down, but I’m writing everything else anyway. Besides, there might be a little time before I go back. It might slip my mind to tell them before it is too late, and then … it’ll be too late.

Note to self: Parents must remain clothed

I even put an underline under it, so it sticks out.

There’s nothing more for me to do in here, I might as well get some breakfast. That leads me to wonder what they eat for breakfast around here. It seems like a minority eat meat, and they likely eat something with oats. I seem to remember a book saying that horses eat oats. Maybe they’ll have oatmeal. Then again, I don’t remember reading anywhere about horses doing a lot of the things that these ponies seem capable of doing. So maybe I should stop going back to my previous knowledge and focus on figuring it out for myself.

First, though, breakfast.

I sit the journal in the bag, and step out into the kitchen. With there being a distinct lack of Cloudkicker coming home last night, that I had heard anyway, there’s no expectation of her being there. And while there’s no expectation, there she is sitting down and eating a bowl of oatmeal. “Oh hey, morning Roger.” She motions for me to get a bowl as well, and that’s exactly what I do. If last night’s meal was any indication, she won’t have messed this up. And contrary to popular belief, it is possible to mess up with oatmeal.

She does not disappoint.

“So, I have the rest of the week, five more days, off of work.” I look at her confused. I had been told that she was in the reserve, so I don’t know what job she might be talking about. “I work on the weather team. I do the normal things. Make sure the crops get rain, bust up clouds, and sometimes just move clouds around.” That makes the name make more sense, she literally kicks clouds. That makes my idea about their naming structure seem more likely. These names are just a brief description of the pony that it is attached to. “Which means we get to work a little faster than they probably wanted. But they knew I have a real job, so… yeah.”

The fact that she has a job aside, I still want to know something. “What do you mean weather team? Do you really mean you move clouds, break them, make it rain, and so forth?” I hope this is some sort of joke, but she just nods. “You’re kidding me, right? The weather is a series of things that happen without any interference. Clouds are the collection of moisture that evaporates from the ground and bodies of water. Rain is when too much moisture is in a cloud. I could go on and on…”

I see a shudder, almost as if that idea scares her. “Don’t talk crazy talk. There’s only one place where that happens, and nopony goes there.”

“Goes where?” Another word is added. They throw pony into almost any word that they can, it seems. I don’t think that I’m going to do the same, but I might.

The Everfree Forest.” That name means nothing to me, at least not beyond what the three words that make up the phrase means. Or it might be two, meaning that it’s a forest that’s forever free. That doesn’t tell me anything, though.

“And why not?”

“Because it’s dangerous. Aside from the Timberwolves, there are dragons and cockatrice. And that’s not even talking about the evil enchantress…” That’s another thing that I know I need to ask about, but I decide not to. Instead, I just decide that I probably need to stay away from the Everfree Forest for now. My curiosity will have to be sated later, when I can figure out a way to get multiple ponies to go in there with me. After all, a group is much safer than a single pony or a single human.

“Sounds like a place I need to stay clear of.”

She smiles and nods, eventually taking the final bites of her breakfast. Maybe it’s just because I eat quicker, but I’m done at about the same time. “Alright, now that we have that little problem out of the way… it’s time to figure out how you’re going to go outside.” That makes no sense to me at all. I know that the previous night had to be spent the way it was because I needed to get everything set up, but today is different.

“I thought I’d just walk out and see what Ponyville has to offer.”

Strangely enough, that doesn’t earn a laugh. Instead, she just shrugs as she stands up. “I figured we’d go about it a little … different.” I’m almost worried to ask how. “Maybe disguise you, make you look like a pony for now, and then spring it on them when they already like you.” She’s nice enough to where I give the idea some thought, but I already know that it isn’t something that will actually work longer term.

“And then when I show myself off, they can say I’m a fraud and… that never ends well.” There is also the fact that I don’t want to have to pretend to be a pony. Something about the idea of looking like one, and the fact that I don’t know how ponies act, means that I probably wouldn’t get too far into it before somebody would realize that I’m not what I look like. And that could turn out worse than if they just know from the start. “Besides, it can’t be that bad.”

That is something that usually leads to bad things happening, but I get the feeling that it won’t be so bad this time. After all, these ponies seem to be nice enough.

“I don’t know…”

“Listen, we can even talk to that pink pony … Pinkie Pie, I think you called her. I’m sure she’d help make sure everything doesn’t turn out so bad.” That isn’t my best line of logic, but it seems to be working. Either that, or I am wearing her down with my continued push toward going outside. “I’ll even go outside right now, it’ll be fine.” I move to put the bowl in the sink, and then walk out to show that nothing will possibly go wrong.

Then I come falling back in when a pony tackles me.

“HUMAN!”

I don’t know what to say about the mint-green pony that just tackled me. She seems to know what I am, at least, which is a start. If I hear another pony call me a hairless monkey, I think I might just lose my mind. Beyond the happiness of being called a human, though, this is all weird. I don’t even know how she would have known about me being here. Then we move on to the fact that this makes the idea of nothing happening harder to push.

Something just happened, now I have a pony sitting on me.

I don’t even have to look to know that Cloudkicker is smirking at me. “Nothing else could possibly go wrong. This is just a minor setback.” I look at the pony that’s sitting on me, and move my hands to try to push her off. “As for you … errr … whoever you are, I don’t think that it’s a good idea to tackle me. You could have hurt me … or yourself.” It doesn’t take much effort to remove her, but I get the feeling that she isn’t paying attention to what I’m saying.

I get this feeling because she’s just staring at my hands.

“Nice. I have a spell that does that same thing, right Cloudkicker?” She looks over to my current host, who just nods her head. “But I bet that you’re way better at using them than I am.” With a horn glow, she soon has a pair of hands as well. She wiggles her fingers, though I can tell that she probably doesn’t have the finer motor control that somebody who grew up with hands would have. “And you’re way different from all of the books I’ve read, they make it seem like you always wear clothes…”

“Yeah, well, I ask him about it. He seemed to be okay with the idea of not wearing clothes. Didn’t even really ask him to take them off, but he did anyway.” The idea of not wearing clothes has actually been liberating so far. It isn’t something that I’d do if there were other humans, but it isn’t like many of the ponies seem to have any problem with it. As I look over to Cloudkicker, she has a weird smirk on her face. “Hey, I have an idea.” She looks at me. “You wanted to go out, maybe talk to Pinkie, right?”

I nod, and she points to Lyra. “And Lyra here just loves the idea of spending the day with a human, right?” That gets an enthusiastic nod from Lyra. I don’t really know if I have any say in the matter, but it doesn’t look like I do. It’s a fate that I’m going to just have to deal with. “So why don’t we deal with two problems at once and Lyra can help you out today.”

This is a trap and I know it, or at least I think it might be. At the same time, though, I can’t help but respond with a nod. “That sounds like a wonderful idea. I’m supposed to be learning about this place anyway, so this seems like a perfect idea.” Maybe perfect is going too far, but it does seem like an idea that will probably work.

While I try to have an optimistic opinion of this, Lyra seems to be beyond thrilled with the idea. I don’t know if this is because of the weird human fetish that she seems to have or if she’s just generally that nice to strangers. From what I have learned about this group of creatures, these ponies, either of the two could be true. Weirdly enough, I have no idea which one I want it to be. While it might make it easier if they’re all this nice, the idea of a pony with a human fetish is just amusing.

As long as it doesn’t change to what Cloudkicker wants, it might even stay interesting.

Oh crap, that reminds me that I agreed to sleep with her. Well, okay, that’s future me on the line. Present me just has to deal with the idea of being shown around town in a way that doesn’t cause trouble for everyone involved. Most importantly, I need to make sure that it doesn’t cause trouble for me.

I look over to see Lyra giving Kicker a hug. “You sure do know how to make me happy. Love ya, Kicker.”

“Love you too, Lyra.”

Well, that just happened.

Maybe this is just one of those things. The ponies here all seem so kind, so caring. Aside from these two, who are probably in some sort of relationship, there’s also just about every single pony I ran into in Canterlot. Just about every doesn’t include the pony that kicked me in the back of the head. The guards had been pretty nice, though. Then there were the princesses, they had been easy to get along with.

The fact that Celestia seems alright with this idea so far is proof enough to me that they’re alright.

“Well, not to break this love-fest apart, but I’m really curious about what’s outside that door.”

Cloudkicker just chuckles. “Not a lot, just a town. You already saw some of it when you were flying above it.”

“That’s just it, though. Aside from the weird looks, I know nothing about the ponies around here. And if you two are any indication, that’s a real shame.”

That seems to earn me a hug from both of them. Well, this is nice. I’m nice to them, they’re nice to me, and it works out for all of us. Maybe my charm will eventually wear off, but once again that’s a problem for future me. I do realize that I will be future me, but I’m more of an in-the-now type of guy sometimes. After all, why not have some fun.

Lyra moves away from Cloudkicker, and opens the door. “This is the start of your tour of Ponyville. And by that, I mean I’m going to show you off to a bunch of ponies that called me crazy. I knew humans were real.” I have to wonder what the stories are about humans. There seems to be a word in their language for us, but beyond that I’m not sure. “They all say you’re just a made-up story to scare ponies, but that’s not true at all. And they say that hands are impossible… even though dragons have hands.”

Dragons, unicorns, pegasi, whatever the princesses were, the list of mythical objects just keeps expanding. These are all real, though. Then again, I’m the myth here. Maybe I should stop with that word, really. If I tell them that the human race always considered these different types of creatures fake, they might not like it. I think it’s a good thing I’m the one that came here to begin with, others might have had a different reaction when told that they’re considered a myth.

“Actually, I was hoping we might find Pinkie Pie first. Something about her just seems like she can help me feel welcomed around here.” As I take a step outside, there’s something I notice. It’s a gloomy day, the sun almost seems like it is being choked out by some sort of cloud. It’s only when I look up, that’s when I notice that I’m more right than I could have imagined.

The sun is being choked out by a moving trail of smoke.

“Oh, you’re going to have to wait on that one. Pinkie Pie went with the others to go deal with a giant dragon.”

That leads to at least two questions that I can think of. “The others? And giant dragons can blot out the sun?” There are other questions that might come up, but those are the two that seem important at this point.

“The Elements of Harmony.” I look at her with a confused look on my face, since I don’t understand the concept. I understand the idea of harmony fine enough. It’s the idea of elements of harmony that I’m struggling with. “Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. They … okay, I really don’t know a lot about the Elements of Harmony. I know that they had something to do with saving us from Nightmare Moon. I always meant to look up more about them, I just never got around to it.”

That makes sense, I guess. I think it might take a while before I can move past those names, though.

“As for the dragon? That kind of scares me too. This isn’t anything like little Spike that lives with Twilight.” That name, Spike, it amuses me. I remember, not too long ago, when I had sarcastically guessed that somebody would be named Spike. It turns out I’m smarter than I thought. It might not be a pony, but a dragon with that name isn’t too far from the mark. I have to wonder, though, if he likes that name.

It sounds like a dog’s name.

I really have to fight off the urge to say that I was right. That’d probably make no sense to her.

“So, with Pinkie Pie out of the question for now… where would you suggest we go first?” I don’t know anything about the place, so her ideas are probably going to be better than mine. Not only that, but she seems to really want to show me off to her friends. As much as I hate the idea of being paraded around, it does mean I’m good enough to be paraded around. That hits me right in the ego, which is enough to get me to do a lot of things.

“Oh, we should go see Bon-Bon.”

If my knowledge of the naming structure holds true, I can look forward to some sort of sweets. I haven’t had a bonbon my entire life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what they are. “Sure thing, sounds like a plan. She a friend of yours?” I glance over to see that the sound of chuckling that I just heard is coming from her.

“I suppose you could say that.”

That isn’t helpful at all.

“You’ll see.” I almost have to wonder if she can read my mind. Or maybe my confusion just shows on my face. Either way, we’re walking to what I can only assume is the house of a pony that makes delectable treats. I kind of hope so, it might be possible to get something free from her. If that’s the case, then I definitely will be abusing that.

What? I like sugary treats.

As we continue down the street, though, I start to notice something. It starts with a pony going indoors, rather quickly, and just gets worse from there. I see a small pony, maybe a child, being pulled into a building. Maybe that can just be attributed to the fact that children get out and about all the time. Sometimes, parents have to do something to make sure that the child is actually being watched. I remember reading that in a parenting book I once read.

Don’t ask me why, it had just seemed like an interesting book at the time.

All of that could be alright, but it gets even worse. There are a few ponies who haven’t gone into a house, they’re just staring at me as they whisper things to each other. Well, that could have been something minor. It isn’t just one thing that makes it wrong, it is several things. One weird event is just a weird event, a group of weird events is a trend. And if this is the trend that I’m going to have to deal with, then I want to know why.

Heck, I want to know if this is really a trend.

The only way that I can discover whether or not this is a trend is to go confront those ponies who are still whispering. When my eyes look at theirs, the two of them change their behavior. Instead of looking right at me, they start looking at each other. Every once in a while, they look right at me again. It’s only for a moment, though. It would be so amazing if I could hear just a little better.

Barring that, it’s time for me to go talk to them in person.

I turn, take a few steps toward them. If they’re going to talk about me, then I should probably figure out what makes me so interesting to them. When they start to move away, eventually they are pulled into a building by somebody, I facepalm. That is definitely the thing that tells me that this trend is not just a product of my imagination. This tells me that there is something about then unknown that not a single pony here likes.

And I happen to be one of the biggest unknowns to these people, I would say. Before Lyra can say anything, I just put a hand up. “I think it’s time we just head over to Bon-Bon’s. Maybe that will be better than what just happened.” At this point, her expression changes to one of concern. I really don’t need a pony worrying about me like this, though, so I start walking in the direction we had already been going in the first place. “I’m sure she won’t be like any of these ponies out here.”

“I hope so,” is all I hear as she moves to get ahead of me. It can’t get much worse than this, though. These ponies don’t seem like the violent type, aside from that guard.

I really don’t know what to say beyond that. The name doesn’t give me any indication of how she will react, unless she reacts in a sweet way. I have to stay positive, though, that’s the most important thing. I keep a smile on my face as we continue, though that does mean I have to start ignoring all of the glances I get from within buildings. It also means I get to ignore the ignorant ponies that are saying things about the strange creature known as a human.

I can’t say that part is easy.

It’s only when she stops that I realize we’re there. This is the place that I’m supposed to be going to, where I’ll be meeting Bon-Bon. I glance at the building, it looks kind of nice really. She must really take good care of the place. Another benefit is that I don’t think I see a pony looking out of the window. That means that this might be another pony that I get along with. That would be something that I think I would love completely.

After all, I’m pushing to try to live here on a more permanent basis. I’m going to be pushing to live here with my parents at that. It might be nice if they like, or at least tolerate, humans. Cloudkicker seems alright, even if she does want to bang, and Lyra is just plain excitable about the fact that I’m human. Celestia seems alright, as does Cadance. There seem to be a lot of nice ponies here, it might be nice to stay here.

Well, not here. Ponyville is proving to be a hotbed of hatred. Maybe I can get Celestia to let me stay in Canterlot after this. Maybe there are other towns, if that doesn’t work out well. Wait, no, there’s always the chance that this can turn out well. They just need to get to know me. I look at Lyra, look at the door, and look at Lyra one final time before she decides that this is the perfect opportunity to try to excite me about the idea of going in there.

“She’s always looked out for me. She’s been my roommate for years now. Good friend of the family. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” All of that sounds nice, really nice, but it doesn’t make me feel much better. The fact that she’s nice to a pony that she’s known her entire life, that her family knows, doesn’t mean she’s going to like me at all. There’s always the chance that she could see me as a giant threat and try to hit me with something.

Nah, that’s not likely.

At worst, she’ll just hide or run away.

“Alright, but you go in first. You should probably explain why I’m here in the first place. After all, I’m a stranger here. It’s not like I can even buy any candy as an excuse…” I really hope that doesn’t turn out to be a horrible assumption. I don’t remember Lyra telling me about candy, but I assume that the name lends itself to selling candy. Also, I want to point out just how poor I am. I assume they have some sort of currency here, it isn’t likely that they just give things away.

“Good thinking, Roger.”

I give a thumbs up, which seems to take her focus away from the task at hand for a moment. I really don’t understand the reasoning behind her love of hands. As soon as I give her a confused look, though, she shakes her head a little and nods a final time before moving to open the door. What I see her do raises a question, something I probably should ask at some point.

How did she just open the door with her hoof?

Either way, I’m going to wait until she says something before I go bursting in. After all, the idea is that she tells her friend, roommate, whatever, that I’m here. Preferably there are other words, something that explains that I look different but I’m not a threat. It might be nice to go somewhere and not get the rude glares and strange comments. I don’t think I want any more of that, I have already had quite enough for my lifetime.

I just have to wait.

~

Roughly five minutes later, I decide that it is time for me to just see what’s going on. I probably should have heard something by now. I still don’t hear anything. Then again, only now am I actually trying to hear anything at all. Before now, I was content to just wait. It seems weird to try to listen into a house, maybe even bordering on rude. And while I can be a rude person, I know that it isn’t going to help me out in this situation.

However, this situation does call for me to see what’s taking so long.

I grab the door handle, open up, and then promptly see a pair of hooves before they smash against my face. Pain is the best way to describe it, and by it I mean my entire face. It’s just one big mound of pain. I would like to say that I hear the sound of something, anything, but that isn’t the case. I don’t even see anything beyond the hooves that go in my face.

Everything goes dark after that. I really hope that doesn’t cause some sort of brain damage. That really wouldn’t be good. A few seconds before I go out like a light, one thought goes through my mind. It is more than extremely apparent that Lyra might have been wrong about how Bon-Bon will react to somebody like myself. I still remember that she was going to be better than the others.

Unless killing me is the wanted result, she is not better at reacting to the unknown than the others. At least they just ran away and said some mean things. This makes the second time that I’ve been assaulted like this. This is the first time, though, that it has happened to my beautiful face. I really hope my nose isn’t broken.

It probably is.

~

I don’t even know what time it is when I wake up, or come back to consciousness. I know that Cloudkicker is there, watching over me. She seems to have a concerned look on her face, which makes sense with what happened. The last thing I remember is a pair of hooves. Thinking about it, the pony that kicked me might have been another pony. I still don’t know what Bon-Bon looks like, and she might be happy to see me when I do go to see her again.

Actually, that’s not a certainty. I don’t know if I care about going to go see her again. Even if it wasn’t her, I would rather not risk it. I don’t want to get kicked in the face again, it is not pleasant.

“Good, you’re awake. Lyra told me all about it.” I have to wonder what she said, and if she can tell me who did he kicking. “I don’t understand how that happened. There are a lot of ponies out there that are mean, but that just takes the cake. And out of all of them, I didn’t expect Bon-Bon to be the aggressive type.” She smirks for a second. “Not unless you really ask her to be.”

I don’t want to know.

“So that was her. I had hoped that maybe it was just a rowdy customer that I scared or something.” It isn’t that I like Bon-Bon, it will just make everything a lot easier if she likes me. I doubt she sells to people, or ponies, that she doesn’t like. I have to have my candy, it just is part of who I am. I would have been alright, or at least I would have had to be, if there wasn’t any. But there is, and for some reason the pony who makes it doesn’t like it.

Such is the my life, it seems.

“Oh, no, that was her. She apparently pulled Lyra aside and waited for you to go in. AND when you did? Blamo!” She thrust a hoof into the air. “Kind of wish I hadn’t let you go out there. Lyra is nice and all, but I should have known that she wouldn’t be able to do anything about angry ponies.” I don’t like the idea of her blaming herself, or Lyra, for some pony not liking me. “At the very least, I’m going to go talk to Bon-Bon tomorrow. This can’t be allowed to happen. Until I get everything solved, though, you’re staying put.”

Is she my mummy or something?

“Fine, mom.”

“Oh, you’re that type of stallion, eh?” The type of look she gives me makes me feel more than a little uncomfortable. It takes about three seconds for my face to erupt with heat. I can only assume that I’m blushing, because she just laughs. “Don’t worry, I won’t judge you if you decide to call me mom later.” I don’t think it’s possible for me to be blushing brighter, as she winks at me.

No, I'm not a stallion. That isn't the worst part of this little back and forth, though.

I seriously need to rethink the idea of ‘banging’ her. Back then, I had thought that it was something that wouldn’t get brought up again. She seems rather intent on keeping me to that, though. Then again, I don’t know what this is like. I might just like it. Then again, again, she might just be picking on me because I’m providing her with an easy target. I really need to just stop providing that target.

And … here comes the pain.

“Actually, I was thinking about just trying to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow, it won't hurt as much. It seems weird to say that it's a headache, more like a faceache. I assume you understand.”

She simply nods, and soon leaves the room. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come find me. I've never had to deal with this sort of thing, but I’m sure we can find something if it gets too bad.”

As soon as she leaves, I pull out my journal. There are a couple of notes that I need to put down, ones which I’m likely going to reverse later on. But for now, these notes are for me. I look over my notes, one of them has to have an addendum.

General pony characteristics
-Mark shows up at some point to show what they’re good at. More data is required about this phenomenon.
-Trusting, they take me at my word

That is what I’m going to have to change.

General pony characteristics
-Mark shows up at some point to show what they’re good at. More data is required about this phenomenon.
-Trusting, they take me at my word
-Those that do not trust are incredibly violent and incredibly strong

Bon-Bon
-Stay away from her
-Haven’t seen what she looks like
-Lyra’s roommate
-Friends with Cloudkicker

Residents of Ponyville/Ponyville
-Untrusting
-Some violent, or at least one
-Near a dangerous dragon and a dangerous forest
-Houses look nice, though

Everfree Forest
-Dangerous
-Must explore later with a group, if I can find any I can trust