A Time Traveler's Perspective

It might seem weird, but I like waking up at sunrise. There's a lot that I can do in a day, and it just feels right getting an early start. This idea might not turn out to be true, nothing might happen. That was certainly the case yesterday. This morning will hopefully not be like that, and I'll hopefully be able to say that I got something done today. As the rays of the sun hit my face, and I wake up, I look over to make sure that my door is closed. It might seem paranoid, but there's something to be said about this place.

Most of these ponies are crazy.

I have this feeling that today is going to be a good day. I'm going to either be heading over to visit Twilight or she's going to come here. There will be a lot of things that get asked about me, some blood probably taken, and tests performed that make sure that I'm not some sort of threat. Actually, I don't know why she might need to take blood, so I'm probably just going to assume that it won't happen. The questions, though, those are obviously going to happen.

It might be good to be an ambassador for my people.

Either that, or it might turn out horribly.

With a stretch of my arms, I stand up and walk out the door into the kitchen. Something tells me that I might not particularly like the breakfast that I’m going to have, but I might. The sandwich wasn’t so bad, much better than I had thought. Maybe it’s just something that I will have to get used to. Of course, that all rides on me actually staying here instead of going back to where I came from. That rides on what happens with Twilight over the course of the day.

Right now, though, a grumble of my stomach tells me that it’s time to eat.

~

Cloudkicker tells me that she’ll clean the dishes, but I figure it’s the least I can do. We had some sort of bacon, she said it was made out of hay. There were also pancakes, which she said were also made of hay. The drink was the best part in my opinion, it was orange juice. I still don’t know if I’m a big fan of hay everything, but it seems like this is the normal thing for them to eat. Maybe I can convince them to let me raise some sort of animals to eat.

Then again, they might be against that.

“I’m going to walk you over to Twilight’s make sure nothing goes wrong.”

That reminds me, I need to remember that name that she seems to like going by. Cloudkicker had told me it previously, but for the life of me I can’t remember it. I know it has something to do with royalty. I know it isn’t princess or queen. “Thanks, Cloudkicker. Maybe today will be a day without me getting kicked. Let’s hope.” I have to figure it out before I get over there, or that she says it to Twilight when they talk.

“The good luck has to start somewhere, eh?”

I don’t think I should need luck to not get kicked, it should just be the normal state. Either way, though, I just nod my head as we head out for the day. Cloudkicker is going to do something, I’m not exactly sure what, and I’m going to be at Twilight’s for the day. I’m not actually sure what I’m going to be doing either, aside from maybe answering some questions. I’m sure they might be about who I am, what I do, how I’m different, and maybe some things about how I plan on interacting with things.

Generally, those seem like fairly safe bets.

Beyond the basic premises of the questions, though, I’m lost.

That is the thing that is in the back of my mind, though, the present situation pushing it back there. I know it might seem strange, but the concept of all of these ponies jumping away from me is one that is becoming less and less amusing by the day. The first day, it had been something that I wasn’t sure was real. The second day, though, was the one that ended with me getting kicked in the face. This is the fourth day that I have been here, and now I’m just annoyed by the fact that they still see fit to act like I’m some sort of monster.

The logical part of my brain is telling me to calm down, though, because of how it must look. I’m a new creature that just appeared one day. I’m not even a small creature, like maybe a dog or a cat. I’m actually a giant creature, larger than almost every of these ponies that I have run into so far. It definitely isn’t helping that I’m scowling right now, but I still am. After all, this isn’t the type of situation that I wanted to happen when I made up my mind to travel into the future.

Another thought comes to mind. Why can’t I just be of one mind about this? I need to stop trying to factor in what the ponies think, and why they think it, and just go by what I think. That would make everything so much easier. I could just say they’re wrong and get it over with, and then figure out how I’m going to move on from that fact. Instead, part of my brain is trying to tell me that it makes perfect sense that they don’t trust me.

The worst part is that it’s starting to win.

Curse you logic.

It is around this time that I bump into Cloudkicker. With a shake of my head, I look up to see that we’re standing in front of a tree. I have to wonder why we’re standing in front of a tree. Wait, no, this isn’t just a tree. This is a tree with a door, windows, and other things that signify that this is a building … in a tree. I should probably ask about this, since it doesn’t really make all that much sense to me. I look to Cloudkicker, who just looks back at me with a grin on her face.

“I know I have a nice flank and all, but try to behave out here…”

I instantly regret not paying attention to where I’m walking.

“So… a tree…” I try to avoid the subject of her flank as much as I can. I’m going to try to make sure that I don’t keep giving her ammo to attack me with. She doesn’t seem to like that, but merely clears her throat before turning back to the tree.

“You’ll get used to it.” It’s almost as if she doesn’t understand why I just said that. “This is where Twilight lives, in the library.”

A library in a tree sounds hilarious. Books are made of paper which is made of wood. A tree is made of wood. The books are, really, made of trees. In this instance, it is like having a tree within a tree, or many small trees within a giant tree. “So… should you knock, or should I?” I figure it’s best to not just walk in, even if this is a library. The last time I did that, I ended up being kicked in the face. Last time was at a store, too, so it should have been open to the public. “Actually, how about you do it?”

Today is not a day I want to have end with a kick to the face.

“Fine, fine, big baby.” Cloudkicker walks up to the door, knocks, and then takes a couple of steps back. “Duchess isn’t the type to kick anyway.” That’s the name, and it’s good information. Then again, she didn’t think that Bon-Bon would assault me either. “She’s much more likely to do something with her magic. Maybe teleport you to the moon or something.” That is actually worse. A human can’t survive in space, so that’s a death sentence right there.

At least it would probably be quick.

The door opens, though, and I see nobody. At least, I don’t see anybody until I look down to see that there is a small creature standing there. He doesn’t look all that happy, slightly annoyed would be the best way to describe it. There is at least one good thing, though. When he looks at me, I don’t see the same fear that I usually see on the faces of ponies. The thing that I see is just annoyance, as if I’m just another problem to him. That’s amazing. It’s new. It means that he isn’t like to run away in terror.

Then he looks at Cloudkicker.

“I take it this is the reason why I haven’t been able to sleep much the past few days.” Ouch, that isn’t something that will put anyone in a good mood. “Twilight has been up almost nonstop trying to figure out what this new thing is that showed up. Well, Celestia sent a letter about a human… so she knows a little.” Spike lets out a yawn. “But she doesn’t know anything about them. She keeps going on about how the books contradict each other, it’s rea-“

“SPIKE!” A lavender unicorn just appears out of nowhere, with a flash of light. “I thought I told you that I needed a cup of tea. There’s no way I-“ It is about this time that she looks at me, and her eyes become wider than I think should be possible. Her expression is one of shock, obviously. I don’t know what to do, so I look over at Cloudkicker. She seems to be having an excellent time, barely able to hold in a chuckle.

“I come bearing gifts, Duchess. Well, a gift.”

A momentary frown toward Cloudkicker, then she looks back at me. It is around this time that her horn glows. “Thanks, gotta go, bye.” Another thing that happens about this time is that there’s a giant flash of light that envelops me. It feels almost like when I was transported here, but on a much smaller scale. If coming here was a shove, this is a gentle poke. I really need to come up with better ways of describing this, especially considering the fact that I’m going to have to explain this to my parents at some point.

Another flash, and we’re standing in what looks to be a room. Well, obviously it’s a room. It is a room filled with machines, some chairs. All of it seems a little small for me. Maybe I should say something about that to Twilight. “You know I’m not going to be able to sit in that chair, right? I’m a little bigger than the ponies you’re used to.” Actually, that might be a stalling tactic. I don’t even know if I want to sit in that chair. There are machines everywhere, wires, things that make this seem like a laboratory.

She looks up at me, a smirk on her face, as her horn lights up again. And then the chair gets bigger. I don’t even know what to say now. “So … I was told that this was going to be the easiest way make sure I don’t get kicked again.” I look from a machine to Twilight and back to one of the machines. “That you were going to ask some questions and we were going to go from where.” None of that requires machines. At least I don’t think any of that requires machines.

“This is the perfect opportunity for us to understand you more. Cloudkicker isn’t a scientist, she doesn’t understand.” I really doubt that I understand either. “The more we understand about you, the safer we will feel around you.” Her eyes practically seem to sparkle at the idea of getting to know more about me. Actually, this might be able to work both ways. If she can get information about me, maybe she will be willing to answer some questions later on.

At least, that’s what I’m going to be pushing for. “Sure thing, but maybe we can have a little … back and forth later.” I either agree to this or she might force it on me. It isn’t like I can do anything to stop magic, after all. “I’d love to learn some more about ponies and Equestria from a knowledgeable source. And Celestia-“

“Princess Celestia.”

“Right, Princess Celestia didn’t seem like she had much time.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Now, I’m going to need you to sit in that chair.” I sit down, it’s fairly comfortable for a chair, more comfortable than I had been expecting anyway. “I’m going to attach some wires to your head and do some scans.” I actually can’t remember the last time I’ve had my head scanned. I also have no idea when they’re scanning for.

Maybe I should ask.

“What are you scanning for?”

“Well, the normal things.” That isn’t an answer. “I’m going to be checking the activity of your brain, figuring out how it works.” That seems like a normal thing. “And after that, I’m going to need you to move over to this other machine that I made.” Her hoof then points to a second machine. I don’t even know how to describe it, let alone what it does. If I had to, though, I would describe it as a tube with some weird machine attached.

And it looks to be wired up to a monitor.

“That is just a basic scan of the rest of your body.” She seems proud of it.

She goes back to attaching wires to my head. “I have one question, though, before we start. Something Cloudkicker said to me yesterday has been sticking out in my mind.” Twilight turns to me, an expectant expression on her face. “Why does she call you Duchess? Are you some sort of royalty?”

“Ugh. Just ignore that and call me Twilight Sparkle.” That’s a mouthful. “Or Twilight for short. That’s my name, after all. She just likes getting a rise out of me.”

“Then stop letting her get a rise.” That is the easiest way to stop getting picked on, to make sure that it doesn’t provide any satisfaction.

“Easier said than done, human.”

“My name is Roger Fleitas, or just Roger.” I quickly correct her, as if she has any reason to actually know what my name is. A notepad levitates over to her and she writes something down. I have to really hope that it’s my name, because being called human is only a few steps above being called hairless ape at this point.

“And what does that mean?”

This is the first time I can remember being asked what my name means. “I’m named after an ancestor of mine. He was President of a country called the United States of America.” As I say that, I can tell that she wants to ask a lot more questions. There is just a look in her eyes, one that says she wants to have every piece of information that she can have. She shakes her head, though, and she goes over to look at the machine.

“Don’t think I won’t ask you about all of that later.” A button is pushed, and the machine starts up. “But right now, I have to figure you out this way.” I don’t know if I should be happy or worried. “First thing’s first, I’m going to ask you to do some basic tasks. Lift your arm, raise your leg, tilt your head, and stick your tongue out. In that order.”

I don’t know what this has to do with science, but I go along with it anyway. I put my arm into the air, then my leg, tilt my head to one side and then the other, and finally I stick my tongue out. There are a couple of things that happen. Twilight stares at the screen, mumbling some things as she writes up something that I obviously can’t see. The other thing that happens is that I get to feel like a giant idiot because I just did a set of random things, and I did them in the order I was told.

I am so good at following orders.

“Interesting.”

I wish she would tell me what is so interesting.

“Next, I’m going to have to ask you to do a few more things. First, I’m going to need you to tell me about your happiest moment.”

I don’t know which one would be considered my happiest. There are more than a few things that can be considered my happiest. “I would have to say my happiest moment came recently.” When I close my eyes, I can picture that day. “I appeared in Canterlot Castle.” That probably doesn’t make much sense as to how it would be a happy moment. “It’s my happiest because it means my machine worked. I was able to teleport into the future. If I’m able to find a place where it’s nice to live, I can bring my family. Mom and dad deserve some happiness. That’s why I’m here, actually.” I see it in my mind, the push of the button that brought me here.

“Interesting.”

This one doesn’t sound so happy. I look over to see her looking at me. Her expression mirrors the one that Princess Celestia had when I told her about my plan. I don’t know what it is that makes them look at me like that.

“And I’d like to know a sad memory.”

Well, that’s not something I like. I really don’t like the idea of remembering something sad. “Well, that would be when I watched a documentary about what happened to the human race. I just … the idea of being one of the last people of my kind, that isn’t something I like. It didn’t happen to me, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything.”

“And what happened to the human race?”

“Believe me when I say that you don’t want to know.”

That seems to be enough for now. “And now, something that makes you mad … even though I think I know what you’re going to say.”

“Getting kicked in the face for no reason definitely made me a little mad. I don’t even know what I did to deserve that.” It feels good to talk about it.

“Yep, just as I thought.” I wonder if she means what I just said or what the screen is showing. Either of those could be what she thought would happen. In the end, all I can really do is hope that she actually gives me some clue as to what everything that has just happened means. Something happy, something sad, some angry, I don’t think there can be anything else that has some specific need.

“Tell me something that made you feel uncomfortable.”

I think that one’s easy. “Cloudkicker asked me to bang her. That made me feel pretty uncomfortable.”

“And how did you respond?”

“I said … maybe later.” I look at her expression, it’s one of shock. “It just sort of came out. I knew I needed to say no, but my mouth just sort of didn’t follow my brain. That type of thing isn’t the type of question that I’m used to be asked.” A thought comes to my mind, and I just have to ask her the question. “Is that the type of question that gets asked a lot around here? I should know if I’m going to have to deal with … that sort of thing a lot.”

“No, just Cloudkicker .” I can tell that she doesn’t like the pony that is watching over me. I have to wonder why that is. Aside from making me feel incredibly uncomfortable, there isn’t anything wrong with Cloudkicker. It isn’t like she hasn’t been welcoming, and she seems to want to make sure that I’m doing alright. Some people likely don’t get along with each other due to personalities, and the same is likely true for ponies.

“And, I think we’re going to move on to one final thing before we move you to the next machine.”

One more thing, that shouldn’t be too hard. She quickly writes down a bunch of questions onto a piece of paper. Soon enough, it is floating over to me with a quill. I really don’t know if this is some sort of pop quiz, I hope it isn’t. I don’t know much about this species, this culture, or this planet. I used to know things about earth, but obviously it isn’t the same.

“This is just a simple test to see how your brain reacts when dealing with a fact based test.”

Who are the rulers of Equestria?
What is the name of the holiday that marks the longest day of the year?
What are the four types of ponies?
Who is Nightmare Night a holiday for?
Why is Twilight Sparkle the smartest pony imaginable?
What species is Spike?

I look at the quiz, and my mind goes blank. This isn’t because I’m bad at tests. I’ve done at least a dozen tests over the years, usually big ones. There is something about the idea of being tested on things that I don’t know, though, seems a bit wrong. One of the questions is even an opinion based question. There is no way that I would know if Twilight is the smartest, let alone why she would be if this turns out to be a true statement.

I have to do this, though.

I have to figure out the answers.

Who are the rulers of Equestria? Obviously this means there are multiple rulers, so I have to think out their names. I know there is a king and a queen, that only makes sense. King what, though? Queen what? I really can’t come up with an answer, so I just put the obvious answer. The king and queen . That makes sense to me, so I have to move on to the next one.

Summer Solstice . That is what it’s called on earth, I think. My parents never really cared for that sort of thing, and I still don’t.

Unicorn. Pegasus. Normal. All-three-icorn. That last one isn’t a real answer, I know it. I don’t think that the third type is called normal, either. There’s just no word that I can think of that can describe what it means for them to have no wings or horn.

No clue . I’m not even going to bother coming up with something fake. There’s no way she can honestly expect that I know about special holidays. My eyes look up to the second question, though, which instantly shoots that idea down. She is expecting me to know things that I don’t actually have any real way of knowing.

Another thing I don’t know. This one is just opinion. I have to wonder if this is some sort of joke test while she figures out what a real test should be like.

Dragon . This is the one that I know for sure. This is the one that I know is true. I had been told that Spike is a dragon, and that is a small dragon. That, of course, leads me to wonder about what larger dragons might be like. Most importantly, I have to wonder just how large the dragons are. That might be something that I have to ask.

“Alright, I’m done.”

With that, the paper levitates over to Twilight. She lets out a sigh. “Princesses Celestia and Luna rule over the kingdom. We celebrate the longest day with the Summer Sun Celebration. The three tribes are unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony with our rulers being called alicorns. Nightmare Night is a holiday about Nightmare Moon, a historical figure. Twilight Sparkle is the smartest because she has studied the most. You do know that Spike’s a dragon, though, so that’s good.”

“And how the heck should I have known any of that?” The sigh is the thing that annoys me most about this. “I’ve been here for all of four days, and one of them I was stuck being examined by a nurse who probably thinks I want to eat her.” This is frustrating.

“You weren’t, I was studying how your brain reacts to a stressful situation like a test that you don’t know the answers to.” I glare at her. “The sigh was because you answered one of the questions sarcastically. All-three-icorn? What does that even mean? And normal? That’s just wrong…” I begin to feel like she’s going to lecture me, but she quickly drops the piece of paper into a trash can. “But enough about that, let’s move on to the next test. The full body scanner.”

At least I know what the machine is now. I pull off the wires, and then head over to the next machine.

Nothing will go wrong with a full body scan, right?