Teaching old dogs new tricks

by maneyan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Rarity, Adventure, Shining Armor, Main 6, Diamond Dogs, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10587

In which Equestria's canine compañeros do the unthinkable to save their families, namely contact Rarity.

So the dogs had gotten rid of that whining, crying pony that drove them all up the walls. Everyone was happy, they got to be left alone and made sure to keep a wide berth from ponyfolk from now on. But then the most sacred thing a dog has got threatened. Their homes, their families, their pack. With everything at stake and an enemy that is way beyond what they have any hope of taking on they must make a deal with the devil, they must get Rarity's help.

But is the price for their pack's safety too high, even for them?

Knowing how vindictive Rarity can be, probably.

Published 2013-10-09 10:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-09 10:10:02 UTC

Teaching old dogs new tricks

Teaching old dogs new tricks

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Far away from the verdant meadows and forests of Ponyville, under a large plain of mud and rock and dirt, the sound of agitated baying and snarling could be heard. In the damp, dank pits of the earth where the occasional torch was the only light available green and yellow eyes glowed along with yellow-white teeth and fangs. Snarling, slavering beasts walked back and forth, growling at each other as they stared each other down. Two groups were there, both of them diamond dogs with their small legs, large, gorilla-like arms and canine faces. The larger group stood by a large tunnel and the smaller in the middle of the room. That was not the only difference between the two groups however. The larger group was, as diamond dogs went, well dressed and obviously very rich. Especially their leader, a large, bullterrier-like creature, was wearing a harness studded with gems of all shapes. The smaller group had more worn weapons and armor and the gems they wore were small. Among their kin it stood very much clear who were the rich and powerful and who were the poor. The small, rag-tag clan of Diamond Dogs standing in the middle of the chamber wouldn't be bullied however, standing their ground.

“These caves are Mudfield dogs' caves!” The leader of the smaller group growled, his hoarse, shrill voice low as he clawed at the ground under his font paws. “Goldpile dogs' go back home! Have nothing to get here!” The bullterrier-looking leader only cackled though, a deep, contemptuous laughter that the rest of the Goldpile dogs shared in.

“Mudfield dogs not worthy of these caves. You dig so little gems out of the ground, even with so much in the ground.”

“Maybe, but it's our caves!” the Mudfield leader barked.

“Not for much longer.” The Goldpile leader said lowly. His grin was evil. “Mudfield dogs can keep caves for now. Soon caves won't keep any Mudfield dogs!” he cackled, his companions beginning to cackle with him. The guards surrounding the Mudfield leader growled now, raising their spears a little. The Goldpile only reaching for a large bag, throwing out a giant pawful of gems on the ground. “Mudfield dogs don't need to be Mudfields. Goldpile dogs big clan, with room for more!” he grinned, several of the guards looking at the beautiful, shining diamonds with eagerness in their eyes. It was more than most of the guards had seen in a long while now. One of them even slowly reached for the gems.

“No!” the Mudfield leader snarled, taking a step forward and standing on top of the gems. “Goldpile leave NOW, or Mudfield dogs make stew on Goldpile bones!” he growled, eyes narrowed in pure, diamond dog rage. The Goldpile leader only clucked happily though.

“We'll see how long that lasts,” he said, turning around and leaving. With him his soldiers and sycophants left, leaving the Mudfield dogs alone in the chamber. His laughter remained hanging in the air though, the Mudfields' leader looking after them. He was hyperventilating, his gray fur standing on edge and his teeth bared. Behind him some of the Mudfield soldiers were grasping for the gems again and he turned around now, snarling as he pounced the pile of gems, scratching it together with murderous looks to his men, who quickly scurried off. Two remained though, one of the biggest and one of the smallest diamond dogs.

“What we going to do Rover?” the big one asked, the skin-flaps around his mouth drooping despondently. Rover looked up at him and looked down, worry in his eyes as well.

“Goldpile clan is richer than us,” the small one said lowly, picking up a gem and looking at it. “Ever since that time with the complaining pony...” he shuddered at the memory, “Mudfields dogs haven't dug out anything good. Soon there won't be Mudfield dogs.”

“Quiet!” Rover snarled. “You complain too much Spot!”

“So what we going to do?” the big one asked again.

“Let me think Fido! ”Rover snarled, starting to walk back and forth. It was a predicament indeed they were in, even if Rover didn't know what that word meant. To diamond dogs, wealth was power, and for the Mudfield clan, who had never been the biggest or wealthiest clan, that meant they were weak. The Goldpile clan was all but weak though, being experts in finding gems. They were wealthy, and therefore powerful, and wanted more of that wealth. The pony the Mudfields had kidnapped months ago now had found immense amounts of wealth around them but it seemed that without her guidance finding that wealth was a lost cause for the young, small Mudfield clan. Rover growled at how they had dug out tunnel after tunnel but couldn't find more than pittances compared to what they had found with that pony.

“There must be something... must be something dogs can do!” Rover hissed in frustration, beginning to pace back and forth. “Double work shifts, dogs not eat before they find gems... I don't know!” he hissed in frustration. Anything he could come up with would just drive away the guard dogs into Goldpile's open arms. Rover would do the job for them! Eventually he gave up a small frustrated whine as he clenched his ears and pulled in anger.

“Maybe...” Fido said eventually, “Maybe there is nothing dogs can do?” he asked slowly. “Maybe Mudfields have to become Goldpiles...” Rover didn't say anything, but the alpha of the Mudfields did think about it. There was no way out of this as far as he could tell and they'd just keep bleeding dogs until in the end, it'd only be them left.

“Maybe...” he said before he heard something. Looking up, he saw how two small dog pups ran out from a tunnel nearby and down another, the one running first holding a small gem which the other chased. The Mudfield pups were playing still, not knowing about what awaited, and Rover saw the two pups, one of those his own, his little Rex. The pup he knew would become a good diamond dog. His paws were already big and his sense of smell amazing. Rex was all that was good about Rover, Rover knew that, and the thought of Rex being driven from his home made Rover narrow his eyes. “Never,” he growled, feeling a sudden rage inside him. “Dogs think Goldpiles will take in pups as well?!” he asked. “They want Mudfield caves, not Mudfield pups and families! I will never give them my pups home!” he snarled, rage in his eyes.

“So what do we do?” Spot asked with a small whine. Rover's eyes narrowed now.

“We find pony again,” he said slowly and decisively.

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“Oh thank you ever so much Spike,” Rarity said happily as she walked towards Carousel Boutique with her saddlebags on. Today she wore a chique pair of purple bags that matched her hair splendidly. Spike, meanwhile, was helping her carry the large new sewing machine she had bought. Little Spikey-Wikey struggled bravely on with the machine even as the sweat ran off him and she pondered if she might have some fire rubies left for him. The little dear deserved it for being such an absolute gentleman she thought. “I don't know what I would do if you weren't around to help me.”

“Of course Rarity,” Spike grunted bravely, struggling a bit as he tried to get over the small bridge. For a second he stumbled and Rarity stopped, subtly keeping an eye on him and being ready to help him with her telekinesis. A lady shouldn't exert herself of course, but neither should she let children get hurt around her. Spike got control back and marched proudly on. Rarity couldn't help but hide a small smile as they reached Carousel Boutique. Well inside, Spike put the large box on the table and panted furiously, almost like one of those horrid diamond dogs. Spike had earned it though and Rarity opened her gem chest, smiling at the large sapphire there. No fire ruby, but a sapphire like that was ample reward for her gallant little dragon.

“You're a true gentleman as always dear Spike,” she said kindly to him, hovering the sapphire up to him. “So here's for you my little hero,” she said and moved the gem up to him. Spike's eyes went wide and he grabbed it instantly, holding it in his claws with a worshipful look on his face.

“Thank you so much Rarity!” he said with the happiness of a little colt. Rarity couldn't help but smile widely at it. Sweetie Belle was her one and only sister, but Spike could be as adorable as her at times.

“You earned it,” she told him. “Now however, I really must get to work. Can you say hi to Twilight for me?” she asked and Spike nodded, leaving the boutique with a near skip in his step. Rarity simply adored the sight of little Spikey-wikey bouncing off like that. The day he became a full-grown dragon she just knew he'd be the most gallant dragon in Equestria. Humming to herself, she began to unpack her new sewing machine when she heard a small tingling from the door. “One second and I'll be with you,” she sing-songed before she suddenly felt a stench in the room. Furrowing her nose, she wondered if she had forgotten to take out the trash before she blinked, looking back.

Right in front of the door to her boutique stood a trio of ruffians she never had wanted to see ever again. As uncouth and unwashed as ever, the three diamond dogs stood there, uglier than she remembered them. Gasping, she turned around to face them and backed into the table in one, unladylike motion before she narrowed her eyes and lowered her body, ready for a fight.

“You...” she said slowly. “Not one more step or I'll scream!” she demanded, the lead dog instantly raising his paw.

“No pony!” it squealed in that awful voice as it shrank back somewhat at the prospect of having to endure that voice again. “Don't scream! Dogs not want trouble!” he said hurriedly, Rarity not rising from her stance.

“We don't?” the big one asked and the leader slapped it over the head. “Ow!”

“Be quiet!” the leader snarled before quickly turning to Rarity again. “Dogs not here for trouble. We just want pony to find gems.”

“Why I beg your pardon?!” Rarity exclaimed incredulously. “If you think I would go back to that horrid, stinking pit one more time, and under my own free will...” she couldn't believe their cheek. How DARED they?!

“Please pony!” the leader dog exclaimed. “Dogs need gems. We'll do anything!” Rarity still found the situation hard to understand. How dared they think she was going to go back to a filthy, damp, stinking place like THAT?! It was below contempt, absurd! A small demon popped up on her shoulder now however, one that urged her to see the possibilities for some well-deserved retribution towards these thugs.

“Anything?” she asked, narrowing her eyes with a small smirk.

“Yes, anything!” The dogs said. Rarity decided there and then that these ruffians could do with a few lessons in manners. Manners and hygiene she corrected the next moment, feeling their stench cloy up the room.

“I'll consider it,” she told them lowly. “But before I do that, I need some proof from you.”

“Whatever pony needs,” the leader said eagerly, its big head nodding.

“Whatever I need?” she asked, grinning maliciously now. A small laughter came from her now as she realized just how thoroughly she'd be able to school these thugs right now. The trio of dogs, meanwhile, traded worried and indeed frightened looks as the pony's laughter turned more and more wicked.

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“Good afternoon miss Rarity,” Aloe said when she saw her favorite customer in the doorway to the Spa she ran together with Lotus Blossom, who looked up from her papers. “How can I help you?” she asked, actually a bit curious to see the mare here. Usually she was like a clockwork in her visits. A demanding kind of clockwork but that was what made her such a great customer to the two perfectionist ponies working at the spa. Rarity smiled a little as she came in, smiled in a sinister way.

“Why hello there my dears,” she said happily. “I hope I am not imposing but, something just happened to me and I thought I would see with you if you could... help me with a small project.” She smiled and Aloe got curious now and so did Lotus Blossom.

“Well, we don't have many customers right now... What kind of project?” she asked eventually and Rarity smirked as she leaned in to whisper in Aloe's ear what she was thinking about. Aloe's eyebrows proceeded to fly up to the roof as she heard it. “A-are you serious?” Lotus Blossom asked, a bit concerned that her favorite customer had gone off the deep end. Rarity smiled.

“Quite serious my dear,” she grinned. “And don't worry, I have a guarantee worked out from them that if they try anything, they're out on their stubby little ears. They wouldn't dare to try anything.” She said confidently and the two spa ponies pondered it for a moment. Still looking uncertain, they eventually traded a glance.

“Just let us make a call,” Lotus Blossom said. “We have a temp that could help out, also if they do get rowdy.” Rarity raised an eyebrow now before her smile turned even more unsettlingly evil.

“Would this 'temp' be...” she began slowly, Aloe nodding. “That's perfect!” Rarity squealed. “Please! Do make the call, please!” she tittered happily and Lotus Blossom was on the phone in an instant, dialing the number as Rarity walked over to the door with a giant smile.

“Yeah?” the voice answered in the other end of the phone after a few seconds.

“Hello, this is Lotus Blossom at the spa,” she said, “We've got a few... special, clients today and we could use your talents.”

“YEAH!” the voice on the other end called out joyfully now, Lotus Blossom having to pull the phone away from her ear for a second.

“Great!” she chirped then, “We'll be waiting for you, see you, bye.” With that, she hung up and looked to see the clients Rarity had mentioned.

Standing awkwardly in the doorway, three diamond dogs looked around themselves with uncertain, worried looks on their faces. Their tails were tucked in and their ears lay flat.

“Pony house smells weird,” the smallest of them said with a small whine.

“I don't like the look on her face,” the big one said.

“Be quiet!” the middle one said now even though he obviously was anxious as well.

“Gentle... sirs,” Rarity said now, walking in front of them. “We can get started. Please proceed into the next room and take off your vests and collars.” She grinned. The three dogs shivered madly now, the middle-sized one narrowing his eyes however.

“And if we do this... pony comes with us?”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Rarity said now, shushing them. “I have a name, one I'm sure you haven't forgotten.” The dog twitched a bit.

“Fine, fine!” it said, “Dogs do this and Rarity comes with us?”

“If you stay through all of it,” Rarity said with a wicked grin, the dog flinching again. “Chop chop good sirs,” she continued now, pointing at the door. Walking like they were heading to their executions, the three dogs headed into the changing room.

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Three hot, miserable dogs sat inside the steaming sauna, all of them with their tongues out and the sweat pouring off them. They panted desperately, staring ahead with looks of equal parts shock and despair on their faces.

“Hot... hot... too hot,” Spot said between pants where he sat, not having experienced anything like this anytime before. None of them had, and they could happily have gone without doing it.

“Ponies do this for fun?” Rover asked after a while, slowly shaking his head in despair as he sat there, his eyes wide. “Ponies mad, baking themselves for fun.”

“Uuuuugh,” Fido moaned, wobbling where he sat. “Need water...” Rover looked up at the biggest in the trio, realizing that there was a bucket further away and he got up to walk over to it, peering into the thing and almost crying in relief when he saw what was in it. Water! Sweet, cool water to cool him off with! He was just about to grab it and begin drinking, even lunging for it, when it was snatched away from him by one of the spa ponies.

“Ah, ah, ah,” the cyan pony said merrily .”This isn't for drinking.”

“But...” Rover said, “It is water, water is for drinking. What else do ponies do with water?!” he asked, staring in shock and disbelief as well as no small modicum of misery at the madpony.

“This!” the pony said cheerfully, taking a scoop and pouring water on the hot rocks which made a giant cloud of steam rise from it. With this, the temperature shot upwards and from the sauna one could hear the miserable whines all the way out in the foyer.

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Pouring another large bucket of water into the middlemost tub, Lotus Blossom watched the miserable, whining dogs in the baths with a barely hidden smile. Her colleague was currently giving each of them a thorough scrubbing, probably the first they had ever had, and at the moment the middlemost dog was being worked over by four large floor scrubs, which was the best they could come up with to start working the coarse fur of the dogs. Rarity thankfully was aiding them with her telekinesis. Lotus Blossom didn't know how much soap they had used to thoroughly lather the dogs up. The small one in fact was merely two eyes in a large cloud of foam as it was.

“I don't like this, I don't like this,” the big dog muttered.

“Be quiet-et-et-et-et-et-et!” the leader dog said, one of the brushes darting into his mouth to begin brush his teeth with equal gusto as it had his skin. “Gah!” the dog continued, spitting t out he brush.

“Terribly sorry,” Rarity chirped joyfully as she animated the brush again, giving it a soak and moving it to scrub his pits. “Paws up please,” she told him and the dog, with murder in his eyes, obeyed silently.

“We done soon?” the giant dog asked now, watching as the brushes turned on him. Rarity only laughed.

“Oh my dear dog, we're just getting started,” Rarity informed him as the brushes advanced on him and began to work him over. The giant diamond dog sank into the water as well, closing his eyes and seemingly waiting for it to just end.

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“What... is... that?” Spot asked, staring wide eyed at the table they were standing in front of, wearing only towels wrapped around their waists now. Having at last been let out of that horrible, smelly water they were now standing by some table behind which the largest pony any of them had ever seen. It was burlier than Fido and stood with its head held high as well as a bloodshot stare that, plainly put, was scarier than Rover when he had a bad day.

“This is Snowflake,” Lotus Blossom said with a thousand-bit mile as she stood beside the giant, “One of our most talented masseurs, he'll take care of the next part of your experience.”

“YEAH!” Snowflake exclaimed, the dogs all fleeing to hide behind the cough three meters away within a second flat. First after a few seconds Fido and Rover looked out, Spot hiding still.

“Come now,” Rarity said with a serene smile as she sat in the couch with a magazine in her hooves, “Surely you're not giving up this fast, good fellows?” she smiled angelically at them now. Growling, Rover leaped over the cough with Spot held in one paw.

“Get working pony!” he said, dropping Spot as he got up to the table and laid down, Fido coming up beside Spot. Both the two dogs looked at their leader with terrified expressions, as if this was the last time they'd see him. Snowflake looked down on him and stood up on his hind-legs before he grabbed Rover, hoisted him into the air before he slammed him down into the table again, this time face-down.

“Oh, careful Snowflake,” one of the spa ponies said with a small wince. If “Snowflake” heard it he didn't show it, instead cracking his hooves before he began to, it seemed to Spot and Fido, twist their alpha into a pretzel.

“GAH!” Rover shrieked as the giant pony squeezed his shoulders so hard it felt like they'd fall off. “UHNG!” followed as the hooves began to work down his spine, seemingly with the intent to pull it out. “GAAAH! UUURK! BWAAAHH! GUUGH!” Rover continued as he was squeezed time and time again, his two lieutenants shrinking a bit away with each scream. In the end they were back behind the couch as Rover finally was let off, stumbling back and forth with a weak moan before he fainted, falling forward and crashing into the floor with a thud.

“Next!” Aloe said sweetly.

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“Eeeeeeeeeeeerrrgggg...” The big dog said, his face twisted in a grimace as he struggled to not tear his paw away from the pony that was working it over with a large file. He sat tense as a steel spring in his seat and with a look of absolute panic on his face as the file worked its magic on his giant, worn claws. It was working back and forth quickly, producing loud, scratching sounds and each sound made the dog flinch a bit more.

“Are you doing okay Aloe?” Lotus Blossom asked as she walked by, holding a tray with several larger files on it. The claws of these dogs were bigger than anything they had worked with before and they had decided to go all out. The three dogs, therefore, were being worked over with the largest files they could find. The scratching, rasping sounds evidently made the dogs go mental.

“Gyeeeeeeeeee!” the small dog whined, clenching his ears as one of his lower paws were being given the same treatment. Shivers went all through his body and he stared up at the ceiling, a desperate look on his face. The middle-sized one, meanwhile, was laying still and staring straight up into the ceiling, his claws digging into the armrests of the chair he was sitting in. Panic in his eyes, he nevertheless refused to move, refused to scream, seemingly refused to even breathe as the ponies methodically and patiently ground their claws down from the dirty, unkempt things they had been when the dogs had entered into finely rounded, elegant things. The three dogs were let out of the chairs now, walking slowly and constantly twitching as they got off. The big dog, especially, looked at his claws with tears in his eyes.

“My claws...” he whimpered at the sight. His big, pretty claws which he had been so proud of.

“Quite splendid, aren't they?” Rarity said happily. “Now I think it's just time for one final quick rinse,” she said as they were half ushered and half pushed into the next room, where two giant tubs waited for them. The dogs shrank back almost instantly when they stepped into the room.

A giant tub of water stood in front of them all, one smelling of herbs and oils of all kinds. To the sensitive noses of the diamond dogs, it was overpowering, painful, and they all clutched their noses in desperation.

“Come now,” Rarity grinned at them, “Hop into this tub first, then this one,” she said, pointing from a smaller tub in front of the steps up to the larger one. Slowly, the dogs scuffled forward and looked down into the small tub. Unlike the big tub, with steaming hot water that filled the air with overpoweringly strong fumes, the water in this tub was completely still and didn't smell at all. The middle dog reached forward to touch the water, yelping as he pulled it back. The water was freezing!

“What is pony trying to pull!” he snapped now, blinking furiously as his nose twitched. “Dogs already bathed!”

“Why this is just a bit of hot and cold bathing to help your circulation,” Rarity said sweetly. “Do stay in for some time though, the herbal bath does wonders for your skin.” She smiled at them angelically once more, waiting for them to get in.

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The three diamond dogs were about to panic meanwhile. The stench was making their eyes water and their noses twitch like crazy.

“I can't take this anymore,” Spot whimpered now. “This is too much... that smell... it hurts...”

“Goldpile can have caves,” Fido muttered desperately. “This is too much... that pony is too much to handle.”

“Are you backing out good sirs?” Rarity asked now, Rover only giving her a furious look.

“No!” Rover snarled now, as affected if not even more but refusing to give in. His long snout could sense the smell better than any other and he barely could feel his nose as it was. Yet even despite that he refused to give in. He had been drenched, baked, had his claws scratched, gotten his back twisted and now she wanted him to bathe in ice water. He stared directly at Rarity now, thinking of Rex again and with bared teeth he walked straight towards the tub of ice cold water. With a choked scream, he leaped into the bath water with gritted teeth.

It was just as horrible as he had feared. The cold sucked all the warmth out of his body in an instant and he would have yelped if not the air had vanished out of his lungs. His tail tried to creep back into his spine and he felt a numbness spread through him. In half panic, he threw himself out of the cold water and rushed on all fours up the stairs to the hot bath, leaping into it headfirst.

It didn't help. True the numbness vanished but all Rover could feel was an almost overpowering pins and needles sensation along with the feeling of his fur being boiled off him. Surfacing with a gasp, he blinked as the overpowering, cloying stench of the water clung to him, filled his nose and almost his entire mind. The stench!

Yet even through the stench that threatened to overpower his mind he kept focus on the pony that was the cause of all this, staring at her unflinching and with teeth bared. “Get, in,” he told his two lieutenants now, his voice shivering still but the command in it obvious. He was not thinking straight at the moment, for a second actually planning to bite if they didn't obey. Thankfully it never came to that, Spot and Fido both diving into the water of the small tub and running up to the larger tub the next second. Both of them hurled themselves into the water with terrified yelps, coming up to the surface much like him. Snorting, coughing and twitching, they all looked silently at the pony and awaited whatever new version of Tartarus she'd drag them through after this one.

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Rarity, meanwhile, started to feel less and less enjoyment over the whole thing. The way the stared at her in the bath, looking as miserable as could be, made it harder and harder for her to justify her actions. She felt less like someone getting a bit of well-deserved retribution and more like a schoolyard bully. Why they looked outright pitiable as it was and a strange lump only kept growing in her stomach. Lotus Blossom and Aloe came up with scissors, combs and a large hair dryer now but Rarity held out a hoof, stopping them.

It didn't add up for Rarity. Last time she had met this trio of ruffians they had been all too easy to play like a fiddle. They had recoiled merely from her complaining, prepared to do anything to stop it. Yet here they were going through everything she could put them though. Just where did this stalwart attitude come from?

“Why do you want me to come with you?” she asked them now, coming up to look down at them.

“We told you! We need pony to find gems!” the middle-sized diamond dog said now, the three still bobbing around in the herbal bath.

“Yes,” she said now, “But for what?” she pressed them, watching as the three dogs exchanged looks now. The tense hostility in their eyes were gone, leaving only worry in its wake. Worry... what were these dogs worrying about? A thought struck her now, whether the dogs ate gems like Spike did and if they were facing starvation at the moment. The leader of the trio growled slowly now.

“Goldpile clan is trying to take over Mudfield tunnels, our tunnels,” he said lowly. “If they do, Mudfield dogs won't have a home. Mudfield pups won't have a home. Goldpile have gems, much gems, and Goldpile leader tries to bribe Mudfield guards away. If Mudfield don't find many gems, we lose everything” he finished miserably, staring down into the water he sat in.

Rarity could have been bucked in the stomach by Applejack and she wouldn't have felt half as horrible as she did now. She had gone cold and her mouth dried up upon the realization of what was happening. These dogs, as horrid as they were, had been backed into a corner with the loss of everything they loved steadily approaching. With no way out they had taken the desperate option and tried to contact her again. While they had begged for her friends to take her away from them that time, they now came back to Rarity for their foals'... pups' sake. For their little puppies' sake they had gone through with all her demands and suddenly Rarity didn't feel bad, but outright horrible!

“I...” she began slowly. “I am the worst, pony, ever!” she exclaimed despairingly. With a subconscious flair to it she spun around, holding her hooves to the sky. “Celestia forgive me, what have I done?!” she asked the heavens, the tidal waves of absolute guilt crashing over her like a tsunami. “So wrapped up in my own pettiness I didn't even see how these noble creatures in truth needed me!” she cried out. “How could I do a thing such as this?! I, the element of Generosity! I'm a disgrace! To the elements of harmony, to all good ponyfolk and to all of Equestria!” she lamented. Her despair was cut short however, three voices howling out behind d her. Looking back, she saw how the diamond dogs had all covered their ears in the tub.

“Your whining... it huuurts!” the middle-sized dog whimpered. Startled out of her attack of hysteria, Rarity cleared her throat now and began to furiously think.

“Uhm yes,” she said briskly. “Out of the water gentle sirs, wouldn't want your skin to shrivel up now would we. We can be off posthaste, I merely need to pack my bags.” The three dogs looked at her as if she had just told them they'd be given all the gems in the world when she said this.

“D-dogs can get out of stinking water?” the big one asked slowly, hesitantly.

“Pony will come with us?” the small one asked, wide-eyed. Rarity nodded and in the next second three large, wet dogs flew past her and out of the room. Looking to the window, wide-eyed, she was treated to the sight of three dogs hanging over a fence outside the spa as they were furiously heaving. She grimaced at the sight, an embarrassed smile settling over her face.

“Ooops,” she said timidly, giving a small guilty laugh at the scene. Perhaps they had used slightly too much herbs...

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“Hi Rarity,” Twilight said as she watched her friend come into the library. As always there was a faint scent of perfume around her and she walked with the same grace as usual. Twilight was a bit jealous of how she could make near anything an art form. She noted that Rarity seemed a bit stressed out however.

“Hello Twilight dear,” she said. Whatever stressed her out hadn't compromised her good manners but she was working quite fast nevertheless. She wore her saddlebags and were picking books from the shelves at a rapid, yet dignified pace. “Oh dear, this won't do at all,” she muttered, “Twilight dear, you wouldn't happen to possess any books on geology? Or perhaps mining? Petriculture?” Blinking, Twilight nevertheless grabbed a couple of books from the shelves with her telekinesis and sending them floating to Rarity. “Oh thank you ever so much,” she said briskly, “I promise they'll be back in a good condition before you know it, toodles!” she said as she spun around and headed towards the door. Spike was off his feet now, the baby dragon bouncing up to Rarity quickly.

“Are you going to find gems?” he asked eagerly, “Can I come too?!” Rarity smiled at him but it was a kind of awkward smile.

“Actually...” She said, backing up slightly, “I think I will be quite fine on my own. Thank you for your offer though, bye now, be a good little dragon.” She told him as she passed him by and left the library with a somewhat uncharacteristic haste. Twilight was left looking after her friend with a raised eyebrow.

“Did that seem strange to you as well?” She asked, looking at Rainbow Dash, who was sitting by the stairs with the latest Daring Do book.

“Meh, Rarity's always been strange,” the speedster said dismissively. “Probably running late with some design she needs gems for.”

“Then why didn't she ask for Spike's help?” Twilight pointed out. Rainbow Dash looked up from her book now. Blinking a couple of times, the rainbow-maned pegasus furrowed her brow.

“Yeah...” she said eventually. Rarity hated getting dirty and would never, repeat, never pass up a chance to get help with the dirtier part of her job. To say “no” when the help was outright offered... “We're following her, aren't we?” she asked now, closing up her book. Twilight closed her book as well.

“We're following her,” she agreed and the three sat off after Rarity. Their friend was walking through the streets with uncharacteristic hurry, something that only worried them all the more as they drew near Carousel Boutique. Sneaking to a small shrubbery near the Boutique, they hid there and watched as Rarity walked past the door and to the far end of the building. There, she was instantly surrounded.

They came from behind the building where they had been hiding, standing around her in a triangle before any of Rarity's three secret followers knew what had happened. The diamond dogs. All three remembered the ugly, misshapen creatures that now had surrounded their friends and Twilight had to put a hoof over Spike's mouth before he cried out. They thankfully weren't noticed and looked at the middle-sized dog spoke up.

“Pony done?” it asked, eyes narrowed as it looked at Rarity.

“Yes, I've gotten all I need,” Rarity answered. The most worrying thing was the fact that she answered without any of her usual fire or ice. “We can go now,” she told them and the leader of the trio dogs snorted.

“Finally,” he said, almost spat, as he took the lead and the three dogs began away from the town, Rarity being escorted in the middle, almost like a prisoner. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Spike all dove back into cover now as the big dog looked back towards the village. Wide-eyed, they exchanged stares of disbelief and fear.

“What is going on?” Twilight asked now. “Why are the diamond dogs this close to Ponyville, and what do they want with Rarity?”

“Oh no, oh no,” Spike said, trembling as he started to hyperventilate again. “The dogs must be threatening her. “Do, do you think they've kidnapped Sweetie Belle or something?” he said, fearfully looking at the others, who blinked. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, narrowed her eyes.

“Oh no they don't,” she growled and before Spike or Twilight could stop her she had shot into the sky, made a sharp turn when about three pony-lengths up and another right after she passed the diamond dogs. With her usual energy, she collided with the ground almost like a thunderbolt, sending up a cloud of dust that blocked the dogs from taking their friends anywhere. “All right you mutts!” she exclaimed as the smoke cleared. “Get your paws off my friend right now or I swear I'll buck your teeth down your throat!”

If she had expected the dogs to back down she got sorely disappointed. After having thrown up their hands to shield their faces, the three dogs only snarled. Utterly unlike the way they had acted last time, the three diamond dogs all went down on all fours, bared teeth and bristled fur. Even more worryingly, there was not a single sound from any of them. Twilight, who after the last incident with these creatures had spent her evenings reading up on them (of which annoyingly little was known even when they had lived side by side with ponies for centuries), saw the signs instantly. To diamond dogs, there was fearful aggression and enraged aggression, fearful was the part that played it safe, that fought to drive their enemies away with tricks, bluster and guile. Enraged aggression didn't end until either them or the other was dead! This was going to become very bad, very fast!

It was now that Rarity stepped up, pushing her way to stand between Rainbow Dash and the enraged diamond dogs. “You stop this at once, both of you!” she called out, staring down Rainbow Dash and the dogs equally. “Rainbow Dash, I always knew you were abrasive, but this is below even you. I can handle this perfectly fine on my own, thank you very much!” Turning to the dogs, who still stood with teeth bared and claws out, she addressed them as well. “Gentlehounds,” she said evenly, with more than a little hint of fearful tension in her voice. “Please, we can keep walking, there is no need for unpleasantries,” she said with a frantic little smile. The dogs did eventually rise from their hunched down stances and the fur on their backs came down somewhat.

“Rarity what is going on?” Twilight asked as she came up as well, Spike on her back. “Last time these people kidnapped you, why are you going with them now?” Rarity gave her a slightly sad look now, smiling bravely at her friend.

“Believe me Twilight, this isn't what I had expected to happen either, but...”

“No!” The leader of the trio of dogs said now. “Stop talking Pony! We had a deal! No more delays, no more chatter!”

“If you would please let me...” Rarity began now, looking at the dog with a harrumph. The dog cut her off though.

“No...” He hissed lowly. Rarity sighed in the end, bowing her head slightly.

“Very well,” she said and looked to Twilight. “It'll be alright Twilight dear, don't come after me. I'll be just fine... I hope,” she finished with a small grimace. With that, she turned around and followed them away from Ponyville. Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged looks now, worry and concern both on their faces.

“We have to do something...” Twilight whispered now, Rainbow Dash nodding as she looked after the departing Diamond Dogs. But what were they going to do they thought, looking after their departing friend with lumps of fear in their bellies.

--------xxxxxxxx--------

“Well, this place certainly is as... rustic as I recall it,” Rarity said as she looked around herself in distaste. The caves were damp, muddy and smelled of sweat, dirt and minerals. How anyone could live like this was still beyond her. Yet all the same she thought, to the trio of dogs leading her deeper into the caves this was their home, all they had, and for all its muck and filth it was theirs, it was where their families lived, and Rarity knew well that if her family's home had been threatened she'd be quite ready to rip the offenders to pieces. They soon came into a larger chamber where a few other dogs could be seen walking around, most of them the kind of burly, brutish guards she remembered from the last time.

Then Rover howled, Rarity yelping a bit at the sudden, drawn-out sound that echoed through the caves they were in, resounding all over the place and resounding down into her stomach. She blinked at the sound, marvelling at the clarity of the howl compared to the usual hoarse squawks of the dog before her. Why if that was how he could sound he'd make a quite excellent falsetto singer. She'd only heard precious few stallions who could cover such high notes and with some voice coaching, why he'd have a plethora of opportunities!

There was a response to his howl, one that came in the tenor range from far away, then another that approached baritone and soon Rarity heard an almost choir of howls as response after response echoed through the caverns. It only lasted for a few moments and truth be told, it was a bit too avant-garde for her tastes but she could simply not deny that some of the howling dogs had incredible voices. She found herself pondering the situation, imagining all of a sudden Sapphire Shores doing one of her performances. Why her range was unsurpassed and Rarity could just imagine how much more splendid such an act would become if she had backing from singers like these.

Her musings were cut short however as dogs started coming out of every hole. Big dogs, small dogs, dogs of all forms and Rarity found herself surrounded by the kin of the three dogs that had brought her here. What more, unlike their thankfully still freshened up kin these reeked. She swallowed however, remembering why she was here. Also, the other dogs were looking with perplexed looks at their leader, sniffing the air around him.

“You smell funny,” one of the dogs said, a giant bigger than even the biggest dog of the trio. Muttered agreements came from the other dogs and the leader dog(what was even his name?) raised his hand.

“Enough!” he said, “Bring up the carts and start digging! Pony here will show us where gems are!” The dogs all looked to her now, Rarity making sure she stood tall and proud. She was still a refined mare and would not be caught seeming timid or skittish. That simply just wouldn't do after all.

But by Celestia did they smell!

--------xxxxxxxx--------

Rarity was in Tartarus. A Tartarus for her sins against the Diamond Dogs which she bore with poise and dignity. Hours had passed as they had worked tirelessly to excavate the caves. Thankfully she didn't have to pull the cart this time but the work was nevertheless hard, the air stale, the temperature low and the mud everywhere. What more, using her spell this much was a strain on her endurance unlike anything else. Her hair was starting to become frazzled despite desperate attempts to salvage it. She was covered in dust and sweat carved small streaks through it. If not for what she had done earlier she would have refused to continue this horrid work any longer but as it stood she had no choice.

At least they had made good progress, with a pile of gems high enough that it could have hidden a manticore slowly growing in the main chamber of the diamond dogs' lair. And what more, despite her condition Rarity couldn't help but find a certain pleasure in the happiness it seemed to bring the dogs. Why, several of their pups had come out to play in it, being currently engaged in a big game of “king of the hill” on top of the pile. And though they were dirty and unkempt, though they smelled and though they behaved like little ruffians, Rarity could tell the wild little puppies were dear as could be to their parents. It was a reminder as to why she did this for them despite the horrid dirt and muck.

“Yes, yes,” the leader of this band said, Rarity finally having gotten his name, Rover. “We have lots of gems now. Goldpile can't bribe guards now, can't trick away Mudpile dogs... we have a chance now!” he grinned. To Rarity's disappointment he was more or less completely back to the filthy, unkempt condition he had showed up in. These caves truly were not conductive to personal hygiene.

“Delightful...” she said in response to Rover's glee. Her voice was somewhat forced and she did her best not to look down at what she had stepped in. She was happy for them but wanted to get out of here and take a bath as soon as possible. “I take it my services will no longer be needed then?”

“No!” Rover said, turning to her. “Dogs need more gems!” he said. “These gems will only let Mudfield remain Mudfield. But Goldpile is big, many dogs, many guards. Mudfield needs more gems so we can get Goldpile guards to Mudfield side! Or Goldpile will just crush Mudfield anyway. Keep looking Rarity.”

“I beg your pardon?” Rarity asked sternly now. “That was NOT the deal!” she told him heatedly. “I came here to help your clan survive, not nurture your dreams of conquest!” Rover looked at her now, that unyielding look in his eyes again.

“And if miss Rarity doesn't help dogs now, dogs will lose everything anyway,” he said, his voice bereft of the sneering she remembered oh so well from her last encounter with him and his people. While Rarity certainly appreciated firmness as a manly virtue she did not tolerate this though.

“If you think that I will stay here forever in order to dig up every gem in the earth just because you always can come up with some danger then you've got another thing coming mister!” She began angrily, Rover only looking at her with a suddenly almost miserable look on his face.

“Maybe,” he said, “But Mudfield dogs only have ourselves to rely on. We must be stronger than Goldpile, for Goldpile will never stop trying to take these caves. Mudfield dogs don't have the guards to stop Goldpile if they come. I am sorry Rarity, but I will not let Rex become homeless,” he said firmly. “Keep searching,” he told her now, turning away as Rarity was about to blow a gasket. These insolent little ruffians, how DARED they?! She was just about to explode into her most intense tirade of abject whining when suddenly the ground began to rumble. Rarity looked around in shock, wondering if it was an earthquake. She was just about to start screaming when the doors further away in the cave burst open and blurs of white and gold shot inside the chambers.

It all went so fast that Rarity didn't get what was happening. All she heard was a sudden wave of yelps, of panicked whines, the thundering of hooves and the sounds of quick scuffles. When it ended, only moments later, She looked around in shock to see that the diamond dogs, all of them, had been subdued by big, burly stallions in golden armor. They were being held down against the ground, many of them being restrained, and further away she saw how a group of stallions had formed a ring around the female dogs and their pups. The Royal Guard she realized with shock, looking to the entrance when she heard her name.

“Rarity!” Twilight's voice called out and she looked to the side to see Twilight and the others enter, accompanied by a familiar, dashing stallion with blue hair and purple armor. Shining armor, the Royal Guard captain.

“Girls, what are you doing here?” she asked in shock. It was, however, Shining Armor that answered as he came up. At any other time Rarity would have swooned at the perfect gentleman and dashing warrior, now she only was confused.

“We received word that you had been abducted miss Rarity,” he explained as he looked around, making a few gestures. “My little sister said they feared for your life and didn't know how to save you fast enough to avoid a danger to your life. As a subject of the princesses it is our duty to defend all the citizens of Equestria. What more, I think these thugs have overstayed their welcome here,” he added, eyes narrowing as he looked to Rover, who was pushed down by two earth ponies while an unicorn restrained him using rope and telekinesis. Rover struggled, snarled and barked as he looked to Shining Armor, the captain coming up to him. “Twice now you have kidnapped the subjects of her highness princess Celestia,” Shining Armor said with a stern, heavy voice, Rover staring up at him with desperate rage in his eyes. “Her highness values the freedom of all peoples, but your own actions condemn you! From this day henceforth, dog, your clan is banished from Eq...”

“Now wait here just one second mister!” Rarity found her composure again just in time, exploding with indignation at the presumptions being thrown around here. Shining Armor was startled into silence as Rarity advanced on him, eyes narrowed and one hoof raised to impact with his chestplate in order to drive home the point. “I will thank you very much not presume these things, captain!” She snapped at the stallion. “I was not kidnapped in any way shape or form by these people, they came to me in order to safeguard their families mister, families that risk expulsion from these caves! They are being bullied by another clan into leaving the only homes they have and I came here of my own free will to help them save their homes, rescue their families from a life of homelessness!” Shining Armor had been backed up against the wall now, Rarity's eyes burning and her teeth bared as she kept berating him. “Do you hear me, you machismo-fueled tin soldier?! They are not doing anything different from what you are trying to do here, only that they aren't trying to make people homeless without having any clue what they are talking about! You let these people go right now, and then either grab a pickaxe and help them save their home or get out, because right now you are no better than the thugs hoping to take their homes from them!” With this said, she turned around and looked at her friends. With most of the spleen dumped over the guard captain, she didn't find the fire in herself to yell at her dear friends. They had been worried about her, and justifiably so as well.

“Girls,” she said now, having taken a deep breath to calm down. “Didn't I say I would be okay?” she asked them. “I asked you to not come after me precisely for this reason. I am trying to help them save their home...”

“You expected us to believe that?!” Rainbow Dash suddenly exploded. “You're surrounded by these creeps who start dragging you off and when we try to do something you look like you're walking to the grave! Hello?! Have you forgotten the last time these creeps were involved?!” she asked as Shining Armor gave a sign, Rarity seeing how the guards began to withdraw from the dogs, undoing the restraints and backing off. The dogs snarled as they got up, quickly forming a small cluster around their females and pups further away. Each of the dogs were tense as a piano string and they trembled with anxiety as they glared at the withdrawing guards.

“I had hoped you could at least respect my request,” Rarity said but without any real spite. “I mean, look at me!” she said, “Is it strange I find this abhorrent?” she said, waving a hoof where the pony-pedi was completely ruined. But what can I do? They were about to get evicted and they begged me to help them.” she asked as the guardsponies left, no doubt confused about this whole thing.

“...Are you sure you're okay Rarity?” Twilight asked now.

“No I'm not okay Twilight,” Rarity told her. “I am a wreck! This mess that is me will take days to fix and I most probably will smell like dirt for the rest of my life! But was I really supposed to let them get driven from their homes?”

“No, of course not, but...” Twilight said empathetically. “You couldn't at least have explained that?”

“No,” she said, giving Rover a frozen look. “Because somepony was too eager to get started. I take no blame for this mister Rover, this is all thanks to your refusal to let me explain what we were going to do.”

“Gah!” Rover exclaimed now, throwing up his hands. “Again with the talking and talking! I just want my family safe and Goldpile might show up at any time! You dragged us through oven rooms, water, ponies that break our bones and scratch our claws and stinking pots! Dogs don't have time to faff about like that!”

“Hold on there...” Applejack said now, “Landsakes Rarity, did ya really drag them to the spa?” she asked, staring at them. Rarity became flustered now, not happy to be reminded of her vendetta-fuelled spa trip with the dogs.

“Well...” Rarity said now somewhat forcedly, “I might initially have been somewhat interested in a small modicum of payback, but that's neither here nor there!” she said now, hurriedly trying to change subject. “I'm here to help them find the gems they need to save their home and as mister Rover say we don't have much time!”

“You have no time,” a deep voice said from the far end of the cave and Rarity's blood froze to ice as she looked in that direction, seeing a massive group of new dogs having appeared. And unlike the rough-looking, sort of rustic Mudfield dogs, these reeked bad news. Almost a hundred of them there were, with heavy metal armors and weapons all of them, and in the front a giant dog wearing the most horribly garish ensemble of gem-studded clothes possible stood. Rarity wasn't quite sure if the revolting outfit or the heavily armed group of newcomers made her more dismayed. The lead dog grinned as he looked at the pile. “Mudfield dogs do good work,” he jeered. “Find much gems for Goldpile clan.” His followers chuckled at this and Rarity shuddered at the sight. While the Mudfields certainly were ruffians in many ways, these people were even worse. These people seemed like outright villains. Rover snarled now, his dogs all following suit as they sunk down into fighting stances.

“Go away!” Rover roared. “These gems are Mudfields and Goldpile will not have these caves or these gems! Go back to Goldpile caves or I cook stew on you!”

“No,” The Goldpile leader laughed maliciously. “No little Rover... we cook stew on you,” he said and the Goldpile dogs lowered their dully gleaming, black weapons, slowly advancing on the small Mudpile clan. It was all Rarity could do to sink down into a fighting stance herself, grabbing after the nearest rock with telekinesis and preparing to do something most unladylike. Around her her friends followed suit without hesitation.

They were hardly thirty all in all however, and the group advancing was much better armed and more than three times as many. In the corner of her eye Rarity saw behind the formation of Mudfield dogs, where a tawny female held her pup close, naked fear and rage in her eyes as the overwhelming group enemies advanced.

“Excuse me,” a voice said mildly behind the Goldpile dogs now and the leader looked back, his face turning pale and his body freezing when he looked up at the precipice above the tunnel from which they had come. Shining Armor stood there, his horn wrapped in magic, and around him a full platoon of Royal Guard unicorns stood, horns lowered and aimed. At the same time a platoon of pegasi came from above, in moments forming a protective half circle around the Mudfield dogs while heavily armoured earth ponies leaped down to block the exit for the Goldpile army. Shining Armor stared down the leader of the Goldpiles, his face even sterner than before. “Am I to understand that you are attempting to threaten citizens of Equestria good sir?” he asked, his voice as frozen as the snows in the crystal empire.

“What is this?” the Goldpile leader asked, all his bluster and confidence gone. “Mudpile dogs ally with ponies?!”

“Lay down your weapons, scoundrels,” Shining Armor demanded now, his voice like the crack of a whip. “Or don't. I've come all the way from Canterlot for this,” he growled, “Go ahead mister, make my day,” he drawled lowly and Rarity felt as though she'd swoon so hard she'd tunnel straight down into the center of the earth.

Sadly Shining Armor didn't get his wish fulfilled, the sound of weapons hitting the ground was almost deafening as the Goldpile dogs surrendered within moments. Shining Armor made a sign again and the Earth ponies divided into two groups, opening the path back into the depths of the earth for the Goldpile dogs.

“Leave,” he told them, “And leave your weapons here. Let it be known amongst all diamond dogs that the Mudfield clan are under the protection of her highness Princess Celestia and that any attacks on them will constitute an assault on all of Equestria.” He proclaimed, Rarity not believing her ears. As the Goldpile dogs scurried away, defeated and humiliated, she looked up at Shining Armor with pure shock on her face. Rover, meanwhile, had a very similar look on his face.

“What... what... what?” he asked, blinking and eventually pinching himself. “Am I dreaming?” he asked, “Ponies defend dogs?” Rarity couldn't help but echo the sentiment but stood in silence, still gaping as Shining Armor came down the slope and up to Rover.

“Chieftain Rover of the Mudfield clan,” the guard captain said officiously now. “A terrible mistake was almost made today, we acted hastily and ignorant of the truth. As miss Rarity say, no one can fault you for wishing to defend your homes, especially not I.”

“So... ponies will not throw dogs out?” Rover asked slowly, Shining Armor shaking his head.

“No,” he said plainly, “What more, if those thugs ever return I will make sure you won't have any problems with them. That I swear on my honor as Captain of the Guard.”

“Wait here...” Rover said now, his eyes narrowing. “What was that about citizens of Celestia? Dogs are not ponies. Dogs don't bow to pony princess.”

“I'm quite sure that was not what the good captain meant,” Rarity said hurriedly now. “All he meant was that surely there's enough space for both of us in Equestria? You can stay here without fear of being driven out now. Why, overall you've been quite harmless after all, despite a few... *ahem* misunderstandings,” she finished awkwardly, looking to her friends with a big, very forced grin and with eyes that pleaded for them to help her out, which they did with equally uncertain grins. Rover, meanwhile, scratched his head.

“This is all very strange,” he said eventually. “So... ponies are guards for dogs now?” he said, gesturing between them to try to indicate what he meant. Protect pups and lair?” Shining Armor nodded. “And... dogs pay guards,” he said as he slowly gestured to himself, scratching the side of his head. “Gah! Tricky pony!” he said now, looking to Rarity with grudging respect in his eyes. “Here,” he said now, indicating the pile. “Mudpile dogs pay for guards, as dogs do. Pony princess can have dog gems for pony guards.”

“I'm sure we can work something out...” Shining Armor said now, somewhat bemusedly as he glanced to Twilight. The young mare instantly caught the hint.

“Oh yes!” she said, “Spike,” she said as the small dragon got off her back. “Take a letter. Dear Princess Celestia...”

--------xxxxxxxx--------

“Will you stop fidgeting?” Rarity asked as she gave Rover a reproachful stare. The dog chieftain was walking back and forth in the waiting room, scratching at the stylish waistcoat Rarity had made for him. Mindful of his species' traditions, she had designed a delightful little piece with a waistcoat and shirt as well as a collar studded with rubies. Along with another trip to the spa (this time using dog shampoo like the one Winona used and with adaptations of the usual treatment methods to accommodate his species) he did indeed look quite stylish.

“Pony clothes scratch,” Rover muttered, giving a final scratch under the collar. “Why must I wear this ridiculous thing?”

“I beg your pardon!” Rarity huffed now. “You are meeting with Celestia herself, a certain amount of refinement is expected.” Rover grimaced, evidently not looking forward to it at all.

“Do I have to?” he asked. “Pony palace smell weird and half the ponies whine all the time.” Rarity rolled her eyes again.

“We've been over this before mister,” she told him. “If you want to become a recognized political entity within Equestria you have to petition the princesses directly. That way the Mudfields will receive legal protection and be granted a greater autonomy.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Rover said. “Dog politics are simpler, we just compare gem piles and beat each other up,” he groused. Rarity couldn't help but smile at this.

“That WOULD solve a few things, wouldn't it?” she said. “Chin up now Rover, you're about to place your mark on history,” she said just as a guard came into the room.

“Her majesty will see you now chieftain Rover, miss Rarity.”

“Coming,” Rarity sing-songed, Rover following her with a grimace before he straightened up as much as his build would allow and followed the pony into the throne room. Ponies were still weird and they made his head spin. But it gave Rex a better future so meh. At least she wasn't whining any more.

Author's Note

So yeah, there's thousands of stories redeeming the changelings, a hive of emotion-sucking locusts intent on devouring all love in all of Equestria. There's hundreds of stories redeeming Blueblood, an abusive, foppish twit with his head so far up his arse he can scratch his tonsils with his own horn. Yet there are seemingly none about the Diamond Dogs, one of the funniest groups of small-time, kinda harmless antagonists in all of Equestria. Are we all cat people or something here? Every dog gets his day though and I figured this story would be a good possible start to a more balanced portrayal of the dogs. Hope you enjoyed it!