“I-it’s all my fault… I never should have…”
Sobs echoed throughout the vacant, cratered surface of the moon. They came from the being that had once filled an entire world with peace at night. The moon was a place of nightmares, birthed long ago in the mind of its sole resident: the one long forgotten.
It was a lonely, desolate place, filled with despair and sadness, craters marking the surface of the once pristine celestial body. Now, blemishes dotted the landscape, reminding its sole prisoner of her fall from grace. She had once taken great care to deflect any meteors which were headed for the surface. She aspired for the surface of the moon to be beautiful and pristine, her pride and joy. Celestia, as part of the punishment, had let the forces of nature run their course.
Princess--No, former Princess--Luna lifted her head from her forelocks, tears streaming from her face. Sometimes she wondered what sort of things were happening on the surface of the beautiful planet she once called home. That was her home… But this place was where she slept. It had been so long since she had set hoof in Equestria. Could it really be called her home anymore? Was the moon prison, or was it shelter? She found it ironic that the sky she took so much pride in was to be her captor.
A faint blue aura spread out from her horn, reaching itself into the stars beyond. Here, her magic was limited compared to what it had once been; she retained only a fraction of her former energies here in the vacant space, barely more than the average unicorn. Using all of her focus, she grabbed onto the the nearest star, the sun. Its familiar, warm touch burned her soul like a blowtorch, causing her to shudder in displeasure. She could feel her own sister’s magic moving it.
She released her magic from the sun, as she couldn’t bear it any longer. She poured most of her energy into the spell, closing her eyes and releasing a heavy sigh. She liked to do this sometimes, when she felt lonely or desperate, using her otherworldly vision to observe the activities of the inhabitants of Equestria.
It only filled her with longing and a sense of regret that shredded her heart like a million shards of glass. Still, it was one of the small comforts that she had left. Out here, she was all alone. No adoring love from her subjects, no love from her sister, and no love even from herself. It was all that she could do to remind herself that she still existed...if it could even be called an existence.
I wonder what they’re up to now. It’s been so long… I can’t even remember what day it is… How long has it been? Luna glanced sadly at the sun, orbiting the peaceful planet below. Up here, there was no night; it was always day. The sun always made sure to remind her of that. Glowing...shining...casting its loving warmth over all. But to Luna, it was like the harsh, watchful eye of a vengeful god. Always watching...always criticising…
Using the most of her power, she extended her field of view from the star, zooming in like a telescope. Her eyes opened, shining a deep, midnight blue as she watched ponies frolic and play. Something was different about today than most of the other days that she had seen, but what was it? What was it…? She shifted her focus from city to city, seeing each one covered in snow and ice. Ponies were making snow angels and having snowball fights with each other.
Is it some sort of holiday? Do the foals have school off? Is that what’s different?
She sighed, trying to put her hoof on it. In the back of her mind, something nagged at her, telling her that today was an especially important day. As she passed through the grassy hills, quaint towns, and glorious cities, she began to piece it together. Wreaths on every door? Lights and trees adorned with decorations and various other fancy things? Today… It couldn’t be… Could it?
She soared through households with her omnipresent sight. Every house was the same exact story. Ponies feasted, opened presents, sifted through stockings, and conversed with friends and loved ones. Today was Hearth’s Warming Eve. Pain shot through her heart.
In Equestria, all of the ponies we playing, hugging and being hugged...but here, was she. Cold. Tired. Alone. More tears found their way down her face, her mane losing some of the luster that it’d previously had, becoming dim and frizzy rather than bright and flowing.
Never before had she spent a Hearth’s Warming Eve all alone. No matter how alone she felt, or how stressed she’d been, on this one day she’d always had…
“Celestia…”
Memories played through her head, causing her to cry even more. Every year of her life, they’d spent Hearths Warming Eve together decorating, laughing, eating, and playing jokes on the royal guards. A solitary thought entered her head, but she quickly pushed the idea aside. Do I dare?
Shaking her head, her gaze shifted once again, this time on its own. It came to rest on a sturdy, ancient castle, standing tall and proud atop the mountainside cliff. No… I… I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t bear to see my sister’s sadness… Her mind said no, but her vision pushed itself ever forward, searching through the great, decorated halls of the castle. Her eyes searched and searched, until they fell upon a familiar sight.
In the castle, ponies were laughing and feasting in the Great Hall, enjoying each other’s company. All sorts of food covered the table: pecan pies, mashed potatoes and gravy, egg nog. Her mouth watered and her stomach growled as she stared at the delicacies which she could never again taste.
She recognized most of the soldiers and staff who sat there, but there was one there whom she did not expect to see. At the head of the hall sat Celestia, smiling and laughing with all the rest. She was happy, and enjoying this day without Luna.
Luna felt a wave of anger wash over her. This day… this special day, and all of these ponies were enjoying it without her! They celebrated and danced as if they had forgotten the second royal sister entirely. There was no fear. No sadness. No forgiveness for the disgraced god. She was forgotten. The picture played exactly the same without her.
Didn’t they miss her? Didn’t they realize that without her, there would be no end to the day? No tomorrow, no yesterday, nothing but eternal sunlight which would melt the snow and burn the trees and cities to the ground? Didn’t they realize that she helped-
She cut herself off there. She no longer did anything. This was not her moon. This was simply a cage to hold her. She had no power, no glory. She was forgotten. Useless. Everything that she had never wanted to be had come together on this barren, worthless rock. How could she have ever once called this place beautiful? Her filthy sister’s magic soiled it with its very touch. It defiled her most sacred of places. Celestia had left the once-beautiful moon to neglect and ruin.
“N-no… Not again! G-go away! Leave me alone!”
Her shouts were lost in the void of space, nobody answering her call. She felt something deep inside her stirring, turning her tears of sadness and sorrow into tears of hatred and righteous fury. Luna held her head in her hooves, shaking and sobbing. “NO! GET OUT! GET OUT! Please… Please just leave me alone…” She wailed through her inner torment, cursing herself and her weakness.
Oh… But Luna… Do you not see what is happening below? Do you not see that they are celebrating without you? Can’t you see it? I can. Look! Your own sister forgets your presence. See how she laughs and smiles? It’s as if you never even existed! It’s as if you were never important to the celebration.
“No. S-shut up… You’re lying! Stop lying to me! They don’t deserve to have their festivities brought down by my presence! They deserve to be happy! They deserve to be loved! They deserve to be…” Luna’s voice faltered, cracking a bit.
“Together…”
Luna could almost feel the smirk inside her own head. It filled her with a sense of anger and rage towards both herself and her foreign thoughts. It was feeding her lies, and trying to play on her sense of isolation and guilt. It was trying to take advantage of her. Your sister doesn’t love you. She never did. You were always in the background. The thoughts echoed through her brain, shattering her confidence.
“You’re lying! Tia loves me! She takes care of me! She remembers me! She’s just putting on a happy face for the nobles at her table. I’m sure she misses me. Besides, even if she didn’t, why should her happiness be weighed down by something that’s my own doing? Why should she have to suffer for the mistakes I’ve made?” More tears found their way down her face as she struggled desperately to suck in air. She curled into a ball, cradling her self in her own pity. “She loves me. She loves me…”
If she loved you, then why would she send you here? Surely there was another way. She couldn’t have taken away your power and left you in a dungeon in Equestria? Of course she could’ve, but she didn’t. She wanted you here! She wanted you to feel pain. She wanted you to feel lonely. She wanted everything to herself… Never let her little sister share the spotlight, did she? Always wanted to be rid of you… And now she has you crushed right under her pretty. Little. Hoof.
The last words were punctuated with such personal intensity and hatred that she couldn’t be sure if it was the thoughts of another or her own. No. They couldn’t be her own. She’d come to terms with what she’d done. She’d accepted her fate. She harbored no ill will towards Equestria or its inhabitants. Or so she thought.
Doubts slowly began to creep their way back into her mind. Was the voice right? Was there another way? Did Celestia really just want all of the power to herself?
Luna continued to cradle in a fetal position. “Stop it! STOP IT! PLEASE! PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I don’t… I don’t want this… Get out of my head. Get out of my head!” Luna hit herself in the face with her own forelegs, trying to get the foul thoughts out of her head. Meanwhile, her vision continued changing, showing happy families tired from a day’s worth of partying. Each and every single one of them went to bed early, ignoring her glorious night. Each one was only concerned with the day of tomorrow.
She tried to shut it off, to turn off the visions as one might close a curtain to a window. But still they flooded her mind, as the devious part of her wanted her to feel the pain of loneliness.
Along with her mental struggle, her physical self-bashings became more violent and erratic. She was now punching herself fully, bashing her body against the rocks and rubble, trying to strangle these thoughts before they started. It was no use, of course. She was immortal, and any broken bones would mend within minutes. Her mind, it seemed, had the same staying power.
Get out of your head? But Luna my dear… I can’t make you forget thoughts that are already there. They weren’t even buried that far down. You were lying to yourself. All ponies need lies to keep themselves happy. But you’re not a pony, are you? You’re a demigod. And yet they despise you. They forget you! They keep you locked up here and alone, all by yourself. Tell me Luna, who still comforts you? Who still prays to your night’s stars? Can you feel their love any longer?
“N-no… But that’s only because my magic is weak here! I’m sure plenty of ponies still love and respect me!” Her words marked confidence, but Luna felt her own protests becoming weaker and weaker. Her mind was clouded and filled with doubt. A dark haze coated her thoughts and turned her vision a bright red.
They respect you? Then why do they keep you chained here like some dog in the rain? Why do they take your powers from you so that you’re alone? Tell me Luna, if they loved you, then why would they keep you from hearing it? Why would they not forgive you? Why would they not bring you back? Have they not seen your lament and sorrow painted across the sky? Don’t lie to yourself. They hate you. They think you’re worthless.
“They…think I’m worthless?” Her voice was now meek and unsure.
Yes. It all adds up, doesn’t it? The patterns are aligning. Even now they plot against you when you can do nothing to harm them! Doesn’t that make you angry? Doesn’t that make you want revenge? I can give you that, if you’ll let me.
“I want revenge.” Her voice was now stronger. It was full of hatred and anger. How dare they do this to her? Who did those puny peasants think they were? “I will make them all rue the day that they seen me to this accursed rock! And how fitting that it shall be the very thing that spells their doom. They love their worthless day so much? I’ll show them the true beauty of the night!” With every word, her dull mane grew brighter and brighter. Instead of its usually serene blue, it was replaced with a torrent of black hatred. A vast expanse of nothingness that signified her feelings.
“I will make them all bow before me. Then we shall see how dearly they enjoy their ‘Hearth’s Warming’. That… that will teach them to forget me… That will make them remember me…” Luna could feel the last, desperate piece of her mind trying to keep control. “Then they’ll love me… They’ll respect me… And they’ll look forward to the night once again…” The last remnants of Luna faded, leaving in their place a harbinger of darkness. The evil that was Nightmare Moon smirked at its own success.
Though she had her inner demon, on the moon, Luna was truly alone. Those fools didn’t know it, but they’d damned her to an eternity of hell. Here, there was no escape. There was nowhere to run. She was alone. Trapped, within her eternal nightmare.
